February is around the corner, and I'm actively dreading it, because it's yet another big meet-up event I can't go to and I'm going to have to hear about how much fun everyone had, and worse, probably see session footage.
If you have any tips about dealing with the feeling of missing out, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Then again, you don't seem to get bothered by this sort of thing as much... wish I had your temperament. And maybe this isn't a thing anyone has a good answer for, in which case, I hope you're not too annoyed by this vent. Thanks.
Oh dear Anon, I am very familiar with this tbh. I wonât vent about my own stuff because this isnât a question or post about me, this is a question from you which I may make more universal. Oh look a title card.
FOMO from tickle gatherings
Please, dont take this as me disregarding your own concern but rather realizing that this is a big thing fir everyone and that you, anon, sparked the flame of this topic is something I really thank you for. Even if I donât fully know you.
Okay, so, FOMO and other negative feelings over missing a gatheing this month, year, or not even ever being to one and it not looking good for the future.
âYou donât seem to get bothered by this sort of thing as muchâŠâ
Aha⊠ahaha⊠ahahahâŠ
I get bothered by it often. đ
I also, however, have learned to accept it and just be happy for my friends who have session, have the ability to go to these things, and have fun outside of gatherings too.
Okay enough about me though, let me talk about some things.
Some negative feelings you may feel seeing tickle sessions and/or hearing about tickle sessions.
âWow, this person is so popular, I canât imagine having people want to play with me like that!â
âMan, Iâve been wanting to have play like that/with that person/with that type of dynamicâ
âImagine having the opportunity to play like thatâŠâ
âThat looks so nice. I wish I could feel like that.â
These negative emotions, I will say, are all normal. The key is to not let them overtake yourself but also not let them embitter yourself by not letting yourself feel them. Feel it, acknowledge it, understand the complexity of emotions, and act appropriately (as in, donât lash out if you can help it et cetera.)
Okay a little bit more about my personal experiences because I think itâs important anecdotal evidence.
I go to tickle gatherings. My first year I went toâŠ. 4 in a year? I ran the marathon. Honestly? Expensive as hell. So now I go to 2 main ones a year because they are run by very dear friends (they all are run by good friends but stay with me. The 2 are also the closest.)
In my first year⊠I ran into them. They know who they are most likely because Iâve either confronted them directly about it (more on this later) or maybe I just think Iâm obvious.
People who I know from this app⊠but I donât post myself because Iâm cool and incognito (I donât post myself/sessions and donât use my name, as generic as it may be.)
I saw them, they were as popular as theyâd imagine, and Iâll be so honest and vulnerable right now: I avoided them and actually fled rooms because I was so intimidated. My own thoughts of the above âWow! Iâve seen their setups! Theyâre incredible! They tickle so many people, some Iâve also wanted to tickle! Wow!â Made my anxiety brain geek out and my flight or fight mode went to flight mode (my fight mode is mostly broken.)
Anyway. After talking to friends I eventually calmed down and realized I was being a silly. One person in particular I asked to meet with and apologized. I said, to paraphrase, that I was actually quite intimidated by their online presence and Iâm sorry if I made it seem like I didnât want to be near them. The understood (and were slightly bamboozled). Now me and them, as well as me and lots of others, are friends and I love it.
Iâm friends with them now which means I know them beyond just what I see on the screen when Iâm scrolling through posts of their sessions, stories, and such. Are you familiar with the idea of social media only being the highlights of someoneâs life? Well donât forget that when youâre scrolling through here. Itâs something I preach now but something I forgot (because of the aforementioned fight or flight): everyone is human and has a wide range of experiences, ups and downs, and challenges you donât see when you see (honestly their own little bit of escapism) them posting about their tickling/their tickling.
Oh hey youâre still here! Look! A tl;dr!
Tips about dealing with the feeling of missing out.
Maybe a hot take, but itâs totally normal to feel that! You are fine for feeling that. Iâm sorry you feel that. I still feel that when I see people going to gatherings and having sessions in general.
The key is to try to (and I know itâs hard) look at it on a larger scale. If you get upset at seeing sessions and reading about them perhaps try focusing on stuff that brings you positivity.
Do you have friends in the community? Itâs cliche but because I shifted my focus off of âman, I havenât gotten anythingâ to âI didnât get anything but Iâm glad this person did!â It helped.
And remember, people online are people. You see their highlights, their great tickle moments and sessions, their tickle talk⊠but outside of that they may be dealing with so much that these are their escape as well to focus on the highlights.
So many people get FOMO who you might not think would. I wish I had a magic phrase or mantra to get you through. Itâs tough, I know. Know youâre not alone, that youâre valid, and try your hardest to be kind to yourself.
I hope that was able to help even a little.
Again, please be kind to yourself,
