It's just to get it off my chest. I'm not as affectionate as my family and friends would like me to be and sometime I hate that i'm not. But I can't stand being touched, it freaks me out and I know why although I haven't said anything to anyone. I was sexually abused in junior high by a couple classmates and had been at home by a neighbor. I've done 2 years of therapy but still never told them about my classmates just the neighbor. I can't stand being touched afraid of anything happening
oh dear I’m so sorry. I know it’s tough, but it might be time to talk to your therapist about the other abuse. If you’re holding onto it and not talking about it, you’re not releasing the hold it has on you. Taking your time is obviously important, but it seems like you know you should probably talk to someone about the classmates.
What happened to you was beyond shitty. It is the ultimate shitty thing. But other people love you and want to feel close to you. Not everyone is out to hurt you or damage you, and I’m sure you’ve heard this all before, but your family and friends are probably just trying to help you.
That being said, I am not a professional. Your therapist is, and it seems like they are closer to you than most people. I would take the time and really get everything out with them. Even the stuff you haven’t wanted to talk about. Most of the things you don’t want to discuss are the things you NEED to discuss to get better.