ꜰᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʜᴏᴍᴇ┊ avatar x human!reader
warnings: panic attack?, self- inflected wounds, use of y/n, small spoilers of atwow, sfw
can also be found in wattpad: @lovingmils
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6
dictionary: pesu si nga fpìl nga lu - who do you think you are | sempu - dad | win säpi - hurry | keyawr fya'o - wrong way | kehe - no |
your heart rate was increasing rapidly as you approached the shore. you hated being in huge crowds. in fact, ever since you appeared this planet gave you had the underlying sense of fear. a sense of deja-vu grew in your stomach as you recognised the same panic you felt on your arrival, but you brushed it off and climbed out of the water, standing far behind lo'ak.
it was late at night, later than you thought. clearly you had explored with lo'ak longer than you should have. only the light from the village and the torches held by the na'vi in front of you allowed you to see. your eyes darted around the crowd as you tried your hardest to find someone that wasn't looking at you like you were some...monster.
you couldn't even look at neteyam, not because neytiri was right beside him but because his gaze was equally full of distaste.
the hateful aura reminded you of his mother.
you hadn't even noticed lo'ak being harshly scolded by the village elders (mainly jake and ronal). you distracted yourself by digging your nails into the palms of your hands in a poor attempt to calm your breathing.
'its not that serious, you're fine y/n' you repeated the phrase in your head, closing your eyes as you hoped it would—
your eyes shot open as the loud voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
lo'ak had joined his siblings in the crowd, looking at you empathetically as he stood next to his mother.
ronal's eyes held nothing but fury, she held an accusing finger in your direction and angrily stormed towards you.
"pesu si nga fpìl nga lu!?" her shouting screaming switched from english to na'vi as ronal tried to convey her negativity in the strongest way possible."we give you shelter and you repay us like this!?"
you hadn't heard much of what ronal said to lo'ak but there was no way it was this intense.
surely she wasn't this mad because her own child left you in the ocean?
however, your confused face only fuelled ronal’s anger.
"do not act fool, tawtute! you dare try to trick our children into exploring beyond the reef!? what authority do you have?!"
ao'nung had blamed you so he wouldn't get in trouble...
you turned to look at ao'nung, eyebrows furrowed as you awaited an explanation. your eyes widened as he refused to meet your gaze, his eyes glued to the floor in embarrassment.
you then looked at lo'ak with pleading eyes, begging him to defend you. instead, you watched neytiri's grasp on her son's shoulder tighten, forcing lo'ak to bite his lip in dejection and avoid your eyes regretfully.
…and no one was willing to defend you
ronal started walking closer towards you, forcing to stumble backwards. you were too shocked to speak so you stood in silence.
‘how could they abandon you so easily?’ thoughts of this sort overflowed your mind.
but how could you forget?
you were different. you had no place here. no matter how strong you thought your friendship was, you were always going to be the last choice.
I mean, when was the last time someone mentioned spider?
ronal's resentful words had been drowned out, it was replaced by a loud ringing throughout your eardrums
had your heartbeat always been so loud?
"sempu!" neteyam whispered, looking at you in worry. your head was down making it look as if your neck had gone limp. thick red liquid seeped from the nail-sized wounds down your palm, dripping onto the sand below.
he couldn't tell exactly what you were feeling but the moment your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he knew something was up.
jake's serious demeanour faded as he allowed himself to view you as a 14 year old, a child and not an 'extra person'. he took a deep breath before placing himself in between you & ronal.
neteyam stepped forward and gently grabbed your wrist, pulling you away from the centre of the crowd. you lifted your head up and stared at jake and ronal, curious of the type of conversation they were having. you kept your silence as you allowed neteyam to inspect the wounds on your palms.
the ringing noise eventually died out and you turned your attention to the na'vi in front of you.
"they lied." you muttered. neteyam looked up at the sound of your voice, but froze at the meaning of your words. he had a feeling what he heard wasn't the whole truth when he watched lo'ak try to explain the situation, but was interrupted by the scolding voice of his father.
"nobody said anything. they just..." you breathed out, shaking you head in denial. "you...you knew he lied! I know you did! so why—" you breathing had become heavier and your chest was tightening as you spoke.
"y/n...." neteyam started. there wasn't anything to say, but he couldn't just stay silent.
"I'm your friend...aren't I? am I..not...somebody who...matters to you?" you harshly rub your neck in an attempt to make breathing easier.
"you must understand...my mother—are you okay?" neteyam took hold of your wrist, pulling it away from your neck as it was doing more harm than good.
you open your mouth to speak but no words come out. now you were really struggling. nonetheless, you stay stubborn and rip your hand away from neteyam's hold and continue to rub your neck as you try to find some relief.
after defusing the situation, jake walked over to the pair of you, "y/n, we decided it was best if we continued this in the morning..." he trailed off as he noticed the current situation.
the harsh rubbing eventually turned into hitting your chest firmly. your legs buckled beneath you, forcing you to fall onto the sand below. the two na'vi immediately kneeled down in front of you as they tried to make sense of what was happening.
"y/n! y/n!" jake called, grabbing your attention. "calm down, just take deep breaths."
your eyes narrowed at his words and you weakly hit his shoulder (it was clear you wanted to hit him way harder), as if you were saying, 'can't you see I'm trying to!?"
neteyam attempted to help you stand up, but was surprised when pushed him away. '
"win säpi! we need to get some help," jake easily picked you up and started running towards the scientists' maui (it was really a make-shift lab).
suddenly, you let out a series of coughs and finally took a deep breath. jake stopped running and gently placed you back onto your feet, making sure to hold onto your shoulder in case you fell again. neteyam caught up to the two of you, placing a hand on your other shoulder as he watched you catch your breath.
"I'm fine...tomorrow morning it is," you panted, slowly starting to walk in the opposite direction, towards your maui. "keyawr fya'o." neteyam sighed, taking hold of your arm and pulling you towards the scientists' maui.
after spending 45 minutes being examined, they concluded that the unknown device placed in your trachea had malfunctioned. jake and neteyam had stayed the whole 45 minutes, but with the tension from earlier in the evening it was just a long awkward silence.
once the scientists had finished, you rushed out of the maui not bothering to spare even a glance. at this point, you just wanted to sleep. this evening was a harsh wake-up call, making you question everything and everyone.
“y/n!” you heard a voice call out, you saw your maui ahead and wondered if you should just make a run for it; but you decided against it and stopped walking.
neteyam stopped in front of you, it was obvious he wanted to talk to you about what happened. “i knew ao’nung lied about you trying to trick them because you told us you were scared of the ocean,” he explained, pausing as he expected you to say something.
when you stayed silent he cleared his throat and continued, “lo’ak tried to defend you but was ignored, and i couldn’t say anything because—“
“don’t worry about it.” you interrupted, sighing deeply before looking up at him. “i don’t really care anymore, we’ve been friends for a short time. i’m not expecting anyone to go above and beyond for me, a strong friendship is enough,” you shrugged slightly.
friend? neteyam felt his heart drop to his stomach at the word. but what was he expecting?
he could tell you had no interest in this conversation anymore, so neteyam decided to drop the subject. “i guess we became close friends in a short time, huh?” he smiled, glad to see the tension between the two of you was finally settled.
“yeah, yeah” you chuckled, shaking your head slightly. “whatever happens tomorrow, i’ll make sure i’m not the only one suffering.
“am i friend if i let you suffer alone?” he wasn’t worried for tomorrow, whatever rules are set he knows you’ll break anyway.
“goodnight neteyam! oh, and make sure lo’ak is okay, too. your dad is scary” you waved goodbye and started walking away
he grinned at your words, he was glad you forgave him so quickly. he didn’t want to lose your friendship over a single evening, you were your friendship was too valuable to him
“2 weeks in isolation?” you looked at jake in confusion. it was early in the morning and you had been, rudely awakened from your slumber by jake’s heavy footsteps.
“it was the tsahík’s decision not mine,” jake sighed, not even understanding your punishment himself.
“what is this? jail?” you got up from your hammock and started walking out of the maui, you wanted an explanation.
jake quickly pulled you back inside, “2 weeks of isolation…in here.”
you stared at him speechless for a few seconds, trying to figure out how this was the final conclusion. “why am i being put in house arrest for something i didn’t do!?”
“y/n the decision is final, it’d be easier for you to just accept it. just think of it as a rest, after yesterday you’d probably benefit from it.” jake explained calmly then left your maui without a word.
“wait—! but how am i meant to eat!?” you scoffed at the lack of reply, sitting back on hammock in defeat.
after a few hours two people walked into your maui. you shot up in excitement at the sight of other people, being in solitary confinement made you crave social interactions.
“kiri!” you squealed, hugging her tightly. you had seen tuk more times then kiri so you were especially glad to finally get to talk to her.
“ahhh y/n! i feel like i haven’t seen you in forever!” she matched your energy, bending down to return your hug.
after releasing the hug you noticed the metkayina girl standing shyly behind kiri.
“you’re…tsireya, right?” you desperately hoped that was her name, you had only talked briefly before but never got the chance to have a full conversation with her.
“mhm!” tsireya nodded excitedly when you remembered her name. she then gently placed down a tray of food and drinks on the floor and sat down beside it, gesturing for you two to join her.
once you & kiri had sat down she looked at you apologetically, “y/n…i’m really sorry about yesterday, if ao’nung got in trouble again he knew the consequences would be worse so he…blamed you.”
“yeah…lo’ak managed to tell our parents in the evening, but neither of them wanted to interfere..” kiri added on, her ears dropping slightly.
“it’s fine, i was just really startled yesterday.” your heart ached as you recalled the overwhelming sadness and shock that struck you the previous night. “but i don’t want to dwell on something negative, which is why neither of you can leave me yet.” you started, ready to lighten the atmosphere.
“don’t worry, everyone is quite busy so we can get away with staying here for at least an hour” tsireya smiled playfully, her eyes gleaming with mischief.
the three of you feasted on the tray of fruits and juices, laughing together as you shared stories from each of your backgrounds.
“we are the literally the best mix of people! i can’t believe we hadn’t talked like this sooner!” tsireya exclaimed, placing a sweet berry into her mouth as she leaned back contentedly.
“we’ll get caught at this rate!”
the atmosphere became tense once again, as you heard three sets of footsteps stumble into your maui. you braced yourself for the worst but you were happily surprised with familiar faces.
“lo’ak! neteyam!” you eagerly called them over to sit with the three of you, a stupid smile plastered on your face at the appearance of your friends.
you awkwardly stared at the final na’vi who stood in front of the entrance, “uhh…”
you watched tsireya’s face burn with rage at the sight of her brother, but you didn’t want to waste time arguing. instead you took a deep breath a smiled kindly, “ao’nung, come sit! my house-arrest officers will come for me soon enough,”
“anyway, how did you guys know i was in isolation?” you asked, leaning in curiously.
“…all of the elders made it a huge deal for us to stay away from your maui unless we were giving you food,” neteyam explained, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.
“but since all the adults were all occupied, we came to hang out!” lo’ak added,
“until we get found and kicked out that is…” kiri reminded, getting a harsh shove from lo’ak in return.
“y/n…” ao’nung started, looking at you in embarrassment. everyone immediately went quiet, turning towards ao’nung to awaiting his next words. “…i’m sorry, i…shouldn’t have blamed you like that. i’ll—“
upon hearing his (makeshift) apology, you could truly let go of the situation; you decided to revisit those feelings later.
“you’re forgiven!” you cheered, smiling brightly. your bubbly tone earned many baffled expressions from around the room.
“y/n, you understand he could’ve gotten you kicked out? are you seriously going to forget about it so quickly?” lo’ak muttered, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“i never said i’ll forget about it,” you said, glancing at ao’nung. “but i don’t see a reason to hold a grudge. now, let’s all move past this and play a game!”
“okay, does everyone understand the rules?” you asked, standing by the entrance of your maui. the game you had decided on was hide & seek, it would be in teams of two and in the dark (since you would attract attention if you were holding a torch). the decided teams were: tsireya & kiri, you & neteyam and lo’ak & ao’nung.
“still don’t see why i have to be paired up with him…” lo’ak sighed, looking at ao’nung from the corner of his eye. ao’nung scoffed at his action rolling his eyes in disdain.
“count to 100!—or zam, ugh i never can understand how you guys count,” you ignore lo’ak’s complaints and quietly sneak out of your maui with your partner. you ran in the opposite direction to kiri & tsireya to make it harder for the seekers to find you.
“here!” neteyam pointed to a large wood structure behind a group of mauis.
“they’ll never find us here, i bet they won’t even look this far,” you said, peering through a gap in the structure. you and neteyam were sat in opposite corners, enough to be hidden from view but you were still able to see if anyone came close.
neteyam nodded in agreement to your words, but it was evident something else was on his mind. “do you ever miss your old life?” he blurted out, awaiting your answer curiously
“my old life? so like earth?” you adjusted your position to face him. “of course! i think about my family and friends everyday…why do you ask?”
“oh, no reason,” he shrugged, “i was just curious”
as the conversation died out, you let your imagination take over; letting you enjoy the tranquil silence of the night. neteyam however, took your distraction as an opportunity to study your appearance. something about the way your features complemented eachother so harmoniously gave him an overwhelming sense of longing peace.
his gaze trailed from your hair, to your eyes, to your nose and then your lips. he wanted to feel all of them.
technically, he wasn’t the son of the olo’eyktan anymore so…to think this way isn’t—
‘kehe! i can’t get carried away. thinking like that is useless.’ he got up from his position and started to creep out of the hiding spot. “lo’ak and ao’nung don’t seem to be good seekers, i’m going to check where they are. i’ll be back soon.”
a few minutes passed and there was still no sight of neteyam. “i bet he got caught..” you jokingly rolled your eyes at the thought. just as you prepared to get up to search for him, you felt a tap on your shoulder.
“finally! i thought you got—oh.”
jake towered over you, clearly unimpressed. stood behind him were all five of your friends, looking at you apologetically.
after two days your punishment stood strong, and sadly none of your friends were allowed to deliver your food. you sat on your hammock staring blankly at the ceiling, when you heard loud commotion outside, you peaked your head at through the window and saw the whole village on the shore pointing to something on the horizon.
“the humans have returned with our spirit brothers & sisters!” tonowari exclaimed, diving into the water to greet his tuklun.
“everyone seems quite occupied…i’m sure the won’t mind if i get some fresh air,” you shrugged and quickly snuck out of your maui. as you approached the coast you saw a small white speedboat parked by the dock, you raised your eyebrow at the sight and took a few sly steps to get closer look.
“now i think about it….ronal did mention something about two other humans that had lived in the village before me. would hurt to say hi—” you froze in you tracks when you spotted a boy (clearly no younger than 16) strolling along the beach.
as you made eye-contact with the familiar figure to felt the air be knocked out of your lungs.
“…b/n?” you whispered, stumbling backwards. you were unable to catch yourself and fell onto the sand below. however, your eyes were glued to the figured in front of you, tears welled up in your eyes at the possibility this situation being what you tirelessly hoped for.
“y/n!” your older brother smiled, running towards you open arms.
well it’s here now…we gonna ignore what i said earlier
tbf i was putting it off posting it because when i copy and paste it to wattpad i have to do paragraph by paragraph which is so tedious
so i have to write it on a different platform and paste it because…that is not for the weak
i’m so excited to write the next chapter! it’s how i came up w this book yayaya
