i'm juls (as some of you already know) and my ult group is NCT Dream! i'm chenle biased (this will never change lol) and the majority of my blog is also chenle biased lol.
i do not have a bias wrecker. chenle is safe (although jisung is my #2, which just makes sense bc chenji is a package deal okay).
i'm 23 years old, and my pronouns are she/her. now that all this intro/boring stuff is out of the way, please keep reading for my updated masterlist ;)
p.s. if u are also a chenle stan, there are so many chenle fics here just for u
AY YO! MDNI >:(
text!au masterlist | smau masterlist
labyrinth
Chenle was more complex than you originally gave him credit for, and unfortunately for you, that would be your downfall. Lost in the labyrinth, youβll always struggle to find your way out when the rose-colored glasses donβt let the light shine through.
the hardest part (M)
You, Chenle, and Jay have been best friends since before you could even remember. After moving away to pursue your dreams, you don't talk to them as often as you should. One day, you get a call notifying you of Jay's passing. When you go back to your hometown, you find everything is different except for one person--Chenle.
Some Things Can't Be Taught (M)
In which you are failing college physics, and your childhood best friend offers up one of his friends as your tutorβexcept, thereβs a little something he wants to learn from you in exchange.
Guilty As Sin? (M)
Chenle is everything you want--everything you need. Somehow, the thought of him manages to pull you back in even after you were free. Messy kisses, late night trysts, and him tracing the word 'mine' on your thigh--barely anything, so how could you possibly be guilty as sin? (based on Guilty As Sin? by Taylor Swift)
And Then It Was (M)
After your marriage with Chenle was arranged by your parents for a company merger, things with him aren't quite like you expect. In your life full of obligations, he's determined to finally give you the ability to make your own choices. (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k
Cruel Summer (M)
He wants you. Everything to do with you--your heart, your body, all while keeping your friendship. What's a man to do during a 30-day hook up to get you to stay? (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k
See My Sea (M)
You never expected your lab partner to be the captain of the basketball team...or a decent human being, but you get proved wrong twice. Despite a rocky past of your own, you find yourself falling for him faster than you thought. Maybe, with his help, you can finally find your way home and see your sea. (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k
Like We Just Met (M)
Everything else about the day is completely normal when Chenle realizes he wants to marry you. It hits him like a tidal wave, and he's itching to tell you just how much he wants to love you forever. (smut/fluff) *WC>10k
SOS (M)
Road trips with Chenle are your favorite thing. Late at night, the two of you stop at a hotel, but it's not everything it seems to be. You barely have time to settle before you get a call to evacuate immediately. Beneath red neon flashing lights, you and Chenle have to try and escape the group of people hunting you down. (suspense/thriller/smut)
this is me trying (M)
Meeting Chenle was a fluke--a good one, at that, but you never expected things to escalate the way they did. But despite the whirlwind romance, you'd go back to December if you had the chance... (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k
Is It Over Now? (M) (Feat. Jisung)
Your relationship with Chenle is nothing but fight after fight. Amidst the toxicity, infidelity comes into play--except you're determined to one up him...but is it ever truly over? (angst/smut) *WC>10k
Within the Piano Keys (M)
For as long as you could remember, Chenle has been your neighbor and childhood best friend. That is, until one day he disappears without a wordβ¦or so you thought, since your mother hid all the letters he sent you. (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k
Paris (M)
Pure smut on a hotel room balcony in Paris! Woo. (smut)
Sunshine (M)
You're not usually able to wake up with Chenle due to his schedules, but on the days that you can, it's certainly worth it. (smut/fluff)
Quiet Down (M)
You and Chenle visit your parents, but he just can't help himself... (smut)
You're Not Sorry
You and Chenle broke up two weeks ago. The first time he calls you at 3am, you ignore it. Then he calls again. You answer, and you go to him knowing there's nothing he could do to fix what he's broken. (angst)
The Last Straw (M)
Chenle has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. Being in love with him isn't easy, until you find out he reciprocates those feelings (thanks to Cockblocker!Jaemin). (smut/fluff/angst)
Chilled Nights, Fogged Windows (M)
After being gone for weeks, the first thing Chenle wants to do is get ice cream with you. One thing leads to another, and suddenly, you're in the backseat (oooops). (smut)
In Your Dreams (M)
What started as innocent phone sex hotline stuff (if that can ever really be innocent?), you get an offer you just can't refuse...you just have to be a little sleep deprived ;) (Chenle as Freddy Kruger Halloween thing lol)
Irrevocably (M) Series Masterlist
You were friends with benefits with Chenle until he got a girlfriend...fast forward months later, and now they've broken up--leaving Chenle to come back to you, very much in need of a distraction. (angst/smut/fluff)
Opposites Attract [Poly!Jaemle AU] Series Masterlist
Your relationship with Jaemin started out simple--friends with benefits with zero complications...until there was one. That complication's name is Zhong Chenle, and after Jaemin agrees to expand your exclusivity deal to involve him, there's only one logical thing left to do... (smut)
λͺ¨λμ± (ONE) (TWO) (THREE)
You and Mark have had a friends with benefits relationship for almost a year now. He's in love with you, addicted to you, but you don't feel the same. You're his poison. (smut/angst)
Late Nights (M)
Mark's busy schedule only gives him time to come over late at night, but it's safe to say neither of you are complaining by the time you fall asleep. (fluff/smut)
Empire State of Mind (M) (Feat. Jisung)
Life with Jisung is almost perfect. He loves you, and you love him. But when you run into your ex, Mark Lee, you realize the one thing you've been missing all along is him. (smut/angst)
Lost & Wayward Mini-Masterlist
After the worst couple weeks of your life, you finally break down in the middle of an alleyway. Jaemin hears you and comes to comfort you, and little do you know, he's about to change your life--in more ways than one. (fluff/smut/angst)
Description: Chenle was more complex than you originally gave him credit for, and unfortunately for you, that would be your downfall. Lost in the labyrinth, youβll always struggle to find your way out when the rose-colored glasses donβt let the light shine through.
Genre: Angst/Fluff (non-idol!au)
Content Warnings: Situationship vibes (rip), reader is upsetti spaghetti; (I took the smut out sorry there's no smut in here, but some of it is still suggestive); break ups; sad feelings; whatever occurs during sad times in one's life idk
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!reader (featuring random Dream members & Giselle & Ningning from aespa)
A/N: Surprise!!! Sorry it's been so long and sorry that this probably sucks butttttttt it was good to write so whatever.
Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)
You met Chenle by chance one day. Frankly, you hadnβt expected much out of him in any aspectβhe was simply another guy, a thought that typically sent a shiver of disgust down your spine. Boys will be boys, men will be men, and allβs well that ends well.
But he was more complex than you originally gave him credit for, and unfortunately for you, that was going to be your downfall. Lost in the labyrinth, youβll always struggle to find your way out when the rose-colored glasses donβt let the light shine through.
Heβs like a puppy. You decided that the second you saw him. He greeted you with the worldβs biggest smile, hugged you, and walked you into the cafe he picked to meet at. You were skeptical at firstβitβd been a very long time since youβd felt comfortable enough with a man to allow any sort of physical contact.
Youβre not sure how he snuck into your life, but just days after you met him over coffee, you went out with him to a barβalong with two of your friends. He laughed and smiled with your friends. When Ningning and Giselle got up to go dance, you stayed back in the booth with him because you wouldnβt dare move that warm, daring hand on your thigh.
Everyone went back to your apartment, and you fell asleep on his shoulder. Chenle didnβt leave until well past one in the morning, after the girls had fallen asleep. He texted you when he got home safely as you requested, but you were out like a light within the fifteen minutes it took for him to get there.
The next morning, he met you and your friends for breakfast. Then, two days later, he came over to your apartment again to watch a movie with you. He kissed you, and it felt like everything fell into place. Like this is exactly where you were supposed to be and exactly who you were supposed to be with.
But he warned youβloud and clear, and you never once took heed of those warnings.
What goes up must come down.
And what goes up quickly canβt ever last.
As the ending credits roll, you feel a nervous twinge deep in your gut. Youβd been politely informed by your friends what tonight meantβthat Chenle would kiss you. After everything, you were hoping for it, but you didnβt want to think too much about it.
You two watched a dumb movie, and spent the majority of the time making fun of it instead of actually attempting to enjoy it. You wouldnβt have it any other way. He made you comfortable, and you knew that, in and of itself, was a dangerous game.
Your back is pressed to his chest, and if you try hard enough, you swear you hear his heart thumping. Boldness hasnβt ever been your forte, but damn it, something about him felt right. In a brief moment of courage, as the screen fades to black, you turn over to face him. Your breath catches in your throat, and his eyes dance along your face before settling on your lips.
βThat movie was awful,β you whisper.
He chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. βThatβs what you wanna talk about right now?β
Contrary to your previous movements, you timidly shake your head.
God, it feels like time freezes. The only light comes from the candle flickering a few feet away, and the orange dancing across his skin entrances you. You gulp as he reaches up to cup the back of your neck. The brown in his eyes is intoxicating, and as they close, youβre already leaning forward subconsciously.
The first brush is tentative, gentle. All of it is perfect. Heβs perfect, youβre sure. You lean into him, and his palm finds the small of your back. He rolls until heβs on top of you, and you inhale sharply when his lips move down to your neck.
For some reason, you canβt stop staring at the goddamn box of popcorn sitting on your counter. By now, you figured youβd be fine, but one glance at that stupid fucking box has you crashing back to square one. If it were acceptable, youβd throw the box into the pits of hell. Honestly, you think about asking him to come get it.
He asked you for your favorite brand of popcorn, and youβd said that it was the blue boxβto which he googled it and asked you which one it was. So, yeah, he knows your favorite popcorn, and you canβt help but wonder how many things remind him of you. If he gets lost in a labyrinth similar to the one in your mind.
Your friends took a liking to Chenle. It made you so much more confident in the choice to get to know himβhe fit into the group with ease. Ningning, Giselle, and Mark had initiated something called a βfamily FaceTimeβ where you all had to call each other once a week. You and Chenle both laughed at them, agreeing that there was no way anyone would actually enforce it.
Chenle had taken you out to dinner, so of course, you had to dress up. You put a nice skirt on, did your makeup, and had a great evening. After the group call, you changed into a pair of pajama pants and took off your makeup. Being this comfortable with someone whoβd you met a total of three times in person shouldnβt be real, but he made it easy. That much you knew.
Bracing your palms on his chest as you straddle his lap, you narrow your eyes at him. βI wore a skirt today.β
βYeah, you did.β He sends a sheepish smile your way.
βDid you like it?β
βYeah,β he replies, hands falling onto your thighs.
βHuh, thatβs crazy. You didnβt tell me that.β You purse your lips to hold back your laughter, and he runs his tongue over his teeth.
βOh, come on.β He flips you over and hovers over you, both of you engulfed in laughter.
βWhat about my pants?β You quirk an eyebrow at him.
He grasps at the fabric against your thighs, studying it. βWhatβs on them? Trees?β
βPine trees. Christmas themed.β
He giggles again. βYeah, I like them. Sexy.β
βGreat, so you think the pants are sexy but not the skirtββ
βDude,β he grumbles, poking your side to tickle you. βYouβre not making this easy for me.β
He leans closer, but just before his lips find yours, you shake your head.
βNever said I would.β
βGood.β He breaks the last of the distance and kisses you hard, hand rubbing up and down your thigh.
You swear every time you look over when youβre trying to fall asleep, you expect to see him next to you in bed. Like the ending was all some wild, inexplicable dream you could brush under the rug. Turning to the side, you play with the blanket he used to lay beneath.
He only stayed over a couple times, but each night felt like it cemented him further in your entire being. It doesnβt matter anywayβit doesnβt matter that you can still feel his lips on yours. It doesnβt matter that you stayed up until the middle of the night talking to him every day for weeks and weeks. And it sure as hell doesnβt matter how hard you fell for him.
At the end of the day, he made the choice to leave, and it wasnβt something you were going to contest. How could you? He told you what he wanted. Your only option was to accept it.
Youβve gone radio silent on everyone, trying your best to survive in the chaos of your mind. Gi reaches out to you to make sure youβre okay, but you lie. Your relationship with Chenle was barely that, to be frank, but in all the relationships youβd been in, in all the people youβve bonded with, nothing had ever felt as real as Chenle. Nobody had clicked so effortlessly.
You brace your palms against the counter and allow your eyes to flutter shut.
Candlelight.
Fluorescents.
His gentle voice in your ear, whispering just the right things to send you into a spiral of feelings.
Silence.
Feelings you tried so hard to avoid, but you let yourself freefall into them anyway.
Destruction. Dramatic, maybe, but you canβt shake the overwhelming negativity surrounding you.
Conversations that never truly ended, texts all day, calls at night.
Only one notification pops up on your screen, but itβs not him. It doesnβt matter who it is at this point, nobody will ever be him.
One completely silent day makes worry swarm your heart.
Foolish naivety, obviously.
He shows up at your door, but your smile drops the second you see the look on his face.
Itβs over.
Your eyes well, but you refuse to let them fall. Youβre better than this, truly. You let him back in once, and that was enough. Time to send him packing, never to think of him againβ¦right?
How do you detach yourself from someone who meant so much?
Donβt do it. You told yourself that over and over again as you walked down the street with Ningning to get to another bar. Logically, you were drunk. Any choice you made at this point could be explained as that.
βWhatβs up?β Ningning asked. βYouβre staring at your phone screen like it attacked you or something.β
βHuh? Oh, itβs nothing.β You cleared your throat and put the device back in your pocket.
βIs this about Chenle?β
βI justβ¦donβt know why I care about him so much. I mean, losing your job is a big deal. I donβt think he has anyone to take care of him or to make sure heβs alright.β
βAnd you want to be that person?β She quirked an eyebrow at you.
βNo,β you state firmly. βMaybe. I donβt know. I really just want to know how heβs doing.β
βOkay, call him.β Ningning stopped and crossed her arms over her chest.
βWhat?β
βIf you want to talk to him and make sure heβs alright, then call him. The worst thing thatβll happen is that he doesnβt answer, and then youβll know itβs none of your business.β
You took a deep breath and nodded, turning to face away from her as you pulled your phone back out. Clicking on his contact name, you waited, heart thundering, as the dial tone started. It shouldnβt have surprised you that it went to voicemail.
Thatβs your answer.
Why does it hurt so fucking badly?
You shake your head to rid yourself of the memories. If only itβd been left at that. If only heβd been the terrible person your friends said he was. But you knew him. You knew him on a level that no one else ever has, and thatβs what ended it.
You scroll through endless videos on your phone as the TV plays in the background. Any mind-numbing activity that could eradicate him from your mind at that moment. But everything reminds you of him. From the screen youβre watching to the keychain he got you to the sheets on your bed, heβs absolutely everywhere, but somehowβ¦nowhere.
Something changes at that moment. Itβs like the atmosphere completely flips. You take a deep breath, frown, blink a few times, and rest your hands in your lap. You donβt need him. You never did. Where he once was, someone better will take his place.
A wave of calmness tugs at your soul, and with that, you decide itβs time for bed.
As you make it back to the bar, you get a text.
Chenle: hey i just saw your call
Chenle: iβm at a movie with one of my friends, he just lost his job too
Chenle: iβll be here until 11:30, so i can call you around 12 if you still wanna talk?
You stare at your phone in shock. Not only did he have a valid excuse for missing your call, but he texted you back. He wants to talk to you, too. Your heart soars, but you try to keep yourself put together. Itβs 11:15 now, so if you want to make it home by 12, youβd have to leave now.
You donβt tell your friends why, but you tell them you need to go home. Ningning calls you an Uber, and then youβre on your way. You anxiously await the call the whole time youβre on the way home. The night around you twinkles innocently, and you canβt help but wonder if this is the right thing to do. You get home, get in bed, and wait.
The call goes much better than you thought it would. Hearing his voice somehow soothes all the hurt youβve felt in the less-than-two weeks without him. You feel like you can breathe again.
He tells you how heβs doing. That heβs definitely seen better days, but losing his job on top of his familyβs issues, you fear for his sanity. An overwhelming urge to take care of him bubbles up, but you know you canβt force it.
You talk on the phone for an hour. An entire hour, until one in the morning, when he says he has to go. In an attempt to hide your disappointment, you agree. And from there, youβre not sure where you stand. Was that the last time youβll ever talk to him? Will you ever see him again?
Did it matter?
But you couldnβt leave it there. Not when you knew he was struggling. So the next day, you asked him if he wanted to go for a drive with you. He agreed.
Two hours later, you end up back at your apartment, him in your passenger seat. You look at him, the gentleness of his face outlined by the blue light off of your car stereo. Truthfully, you werenβt ready to let him go. He was right there with you, but he was so fucking far away.
βThank you for this,β he murmurs. βI needed it.β
βOf course,β you reply. βI meant it when I told you that I would be here for you.β
Silence befalls the car, and without even thinking, you turn it off.
βDid you want to come inside?β you ask.
βIsβ¦Is that okay with you?β
βI wouldnβt have offered if it wasnβt.β
He follows you inside. Thereβs something about him that makes you feel soβ¦inexplicably safe. Heβs been in your apartment countless occasions by now, what makes tonight any different?
You end up with a laptop between you two, a random show playing as both of you relax in each othersβ company. He makes his normal commentary, and you feel that spark of hope return.
Thereβs more than enough space between the two of you. Youβre not even touching.
The credits roll, and he sits up. Glancing over at you, he gives you a small smile. βI should probably head out.β
βRight.β You watch as he gathers his keys. Your heart pounds in your chest. Youβre not ready to watch him walk out. What if this is the last time you ever see him?
Instead of the words you canβt muster up at the moment, you hold your palm out to him. He stops, frowning.
βWhat?β
You stay quiet.
βWhat are you doing?β he repeats.
βFigure it out,β you say, gulping.
He grabs your hand, squeezing it gently. Time stops, and you meet his gaze once more. Whatever the two of you have is so real, itβs palpable. Heβs like a fucking magnet, and youβre much too close to fight it.
βCan we justβ¦have a few minutes?β you whisper.
Emotion flashes across his face quickly before it disappears. βYeah.β
He climbs back into your bed, and without a second thought, you shuffle as close to him as you can. His heart beats harshly in his chest, and his arms wrap around you tightly.
You fall asleep like that.
Your friends tell you that youβll find someone better. That someone else will love you like you deserve. But at the end of the day, you know that. Ending up alone, or thoughts of that, is not the problem for you. You donβt want anyone else. You want him. You want the sound of his laugh and the warmth of his arms and the safety of his company.
But hey, youβve stopped crying every day, so thereβs thatβ¦right?
Three months after he came back, he left again. Maybe thatβs the issue. Maybe you shouldnβt have attempted to bring someone back into your life that was adamant about leaving the first time. Communication is key, and as time went on, his deteriorated to nothing, but that may be because you ignored everything he told you at the beginning.
The wind gently brushes against your skin, the warmth of the sun sinking into your skin as you walk down the street. Itβs been almost a month now since the last time you talked to him. Itβs freeingβ¦but so many things happen around you that make you want to tell him all about everything youβve been doing.
All the good things you were working for when you were with him happened, and he didnβt have the courage or strength or care enough to mention it to you. The world doesnβt tell you how hard it is to go back to being strangers with someone. Itβs a magnificent plunge into the ocean, and thereβs no way out. Only sinking further and further until it doesnβt hurt anymore.
You took your work to a cafe near your apartment. There were several reasons why you picked this one, but there was only one youβd never say out loud. He lives in this area, too. You clandestinely hope youβll run into him and show him how well youβre doing.
Funny, because youβre not doing well. But you sure as hell were acting like it.
Faking it βtil you make it helps only so much, and then you feel the world crash down around you.
You type away at your computer, allowing yourself to zone out the rest of the world as you start your proposal draft for work. After about ten minutes, your zoning becomes a walk down memory lane.
βI donβt know how to do that,β he says firmly.
You scoff. βItβs not hard, Chenle. Iβm not asking for a lot.β
βMaybe not, but I just canβt. I donβt know what else to tell you.β He pauses, and silence takes over the two of you as you feel your eyes well with tears.
βWell, itβs not my responsibility to teach you. Youβre a grown up, itβs okay to learn things on your own. But if I donβt have space in your head, Iβm not going to beg for it. Iβve been in that position before and I refuse to do it again.β
βI know. Iβm sorry. I donβt want to hurt you.β
βYeah, okay.β
βWhat do you want to do, then?β he asks.
βWhat does that mean?β
βIβm hurting you. Wouldnβt it be easier if I justβ¦stopped?β
The laugh that escapes you is accidental, but it was either that or burst into tears. You wonβt let him hear the latter. βI assume thatβs what you want, then.β
Even as you feel your heart shatter in your chest, you steel your resolve. Heβll never know how fucking bad this hurts.
βI think we should call it.β He stops. βThis isnβt fair to you.β
Your breath catches in your throat. Itβs too early. You havenβt tried absolutely everything to help him, and now it feels like youβre losing everything.
But instead of allowing the lump in your throat to take over, you take a deep breath. βYou better be really fucking sure this is what you want.β
Silence.
βYou donβt get to come back if you do this. You know that, right?β You silently beg whoever's listening that he takes it back. That he wants to stay and heβs just scared but heβll realize that.
βI know.β
You have nothing to say. Whatβs even left? No part of you, thatβs for sure. You hope he knows what heβs doing. You know youβre the only person he actually opens up toβbut leave it to you to be selfless in a situation like this. To worry about him when heβs the one breaking your heart.
Through the silence, you hear his breath shake. Heβs not hiding his emotion, but you still refuse.
βIβm sorry,β his voice breaks.
βWhatever.β You canβt help the strain on yours.
His apology rings over and over again in your brain, echoing. The more you dissect it, the more you hear the crack. The break. The way this hurts him the way itβs hurting you. Thatβs the only reason you know heβs even hurt at all.
Youβre speechless. Thereβs nothing left for you to say, but you hope that if you stay on the phone, heβll change his mind. A tiny hope sparks and all you want is him. You donβt want to lose him, but how are you supposed to do this?
You sit in that deep, dark quiet for another twenty minutes. The only sound is your heart bashing into your ribcage. Why isnβt he hanging up? Better yet, why arenβt you? You said it yourselfβhe doesnβt get to come back once he makes this decision.
Your tears stream down your face, and youβre holding in the angry sob threatening you. But that anger takes over, and you clench your fists together.
βWhat are we doing?β you hiss. βWhat do you want?β
βYeah, I guess I should go to bed and get ready for tomorrowββ
βWhatever. Bye.β
You hang up, and immediately the world crashes down around you.
βIs this seat taken?β A voice asks.
Shaken from your memory, you quickly gaze up at whoever spoke. You rapidly blink away the tears and offer a small smile to the man in front of you. βNo, not at all.β
He looks oddly familiar, but you canβt place it. He has hair dyed blond and brown eyes that study you closely.Β
βAre you okay?β he inquires, sitting across from you.
You recoil. βHuh?β
βYou just look kinda sad. And sadness makes me sad, so.β He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. βIβm Jisung.β
It immediately clicks in your brain. You almost laughβwhat are the chances?
βI am sad, but I donβt think I should talk about that with you.β You hold back a chuckle.
You never met Chenleβs friends, but youβd heard about a few of themβJisung most notably. Maybe itβs a different Jisung, but youβre almost positive that would be your luck.
βAnd whyβs that?β
βJisung likeβ¦Park Jisung?β You raise an eyebrow at him. βChenleβs friend?β
His confusion only grows.
βIβm (Y/N).β
The realization hits him like a brick. βAh, I see. I can understand why thatβs a little weird now. Still sad over what happened?β
βYou say still like itβs been three years and not three weeks.β You tilt your head.
βI guess thatβs true.β He furrows his brows. βHe only mentioned what happened once but I recognize this from him. If something hurts his feelings, he tends to disappear for a while. Havenβt heard from him in a couple weeks.β
βHe didnβt tell you what happened?β
βNot really. Just that it was over, and then he fell off the face of the earth. I assume it wasnβt that simple?β
βYouβre his best friend. How do I know youβre not gonna tell him every word I say?β
βHavenβt heard from him. Doubt heβd listen to me if I even said I ran into you anyway. I didnβt know it was you when I approached.β
Β βIβm alright.β You sigh, shrugging. βGotta keep going through life, you know? Heβs just a guy I hung out with for a while and then he decided he couldnβt do it. Heβs not the first and he probably wonβt be the last.β
Jisung hums, narrowing his eyes. βI donβt know if it helps you at all, but itβs hitting him too. He doesnβt know how to handle emotions, so when he disappears like this, itβs something big.β
βRespectfully, I donβt care how heβs doing. He lost that privilege when he decided he wanted out.β The lie feels like a brick to the face, but you keep a straight face. You donβt stop loving someone overnight, but you wonβt admit to his best friend that you loved him before you ever tell him. And youβll never get that opportunity, so it is what it is.
βHeβs my friend, so Iβm gonna be a little biased. But heβs not a bad guy, (Y/N).β
βI know.β You nod. βI never once thought he was. You can be a great person and an awful partner, and he doesnβt know the first thing about relationships. His decision is a reflection of his maturity level and ability to handle conflict. Not me. Certainly not my worth. I did everything I could.β
βYou think heβs a good person?β
βOf course, I do. He didnβt treat me badly. Heβs just an idiot, and heβs letting something good slip away. He might realize it one day, and he might not. Iβve had to come to terms with both outcomes.β
βHe did tell me you were understanding, but I didnβt really think it would apply at this point.β Jisung chuckles to himself. βHe said youβre the nicest person heβs ever known.β
A smile forms on your face. βAt least he knows. Not everyone would react the way I did.β
βI hope you feel better soon. You deserve better than someone who runs. And heβs not completely a lost cause, but donβt wait around for him. He has a lot of work to do on himself.β
βThank you,β you say, sipping from your coffee. βI wasnβt planning on it.β
βIt was nice meeting you, (Y/N). Kinda sucks these are the circumstances, but youβve got this.β
You try to take what he says with a grain of salt. It doesnβt matter what any third parties say if youβre not hearing it directly from the source. As Jisung walks away from you, you stare back at the report you were typing. How are you supposed to concentrate now? Chenle takes up all the brain matter you have left. So much for being over it, huh?
You had a lot to tell Ningning later. The odds of this shit happening to you is, of course, only applicable to yourself. Nobody else would have to deal with something like that. At least you recognized him before you said anything to him.
You contemplate reaching out. You really think hard about it, but to pull yourself from that, you think back to the last day you spoke to him.
You told him to come get the shit he left at your house. It was the day after your phone call, and you werenβt sure what you were feeling anymore. Things were numb, but you refused to show him, still.Β
Even his knock on the door was different. You exchanged a look with Ningning, gulping to yourself as you prepared to open the door. This is the last time youβd ever see him, and you couldnβt help but wonder how this was all going to go.
Regardless, you wanted him to know you were mad. You opened the door and walked away, not even sparing him a glance. As you turned around to face him, you nearly recoiled. You couldnβt recall a time where youβd felt such a coldness radiating from him.
He immediately went to grab his things, not saying anything or looking at you. Heβs playing the same game you were, yet it felt like a hot blade to the chest. Instead of allowing that to come out, you shielded it with anger. Nothing could make this any worse.
Ningning could sense the tension, glancing back and forth between the two of you without a single clue of what to do or how to react.
βYouβre not gonna say anything?β you ask.
He pauses briefly, his whole body tensing. βThereβs nothing left to say.β
Each word leaving his mouth is like a punch to the stomach, leaving you breathless. All you knew was that you had to get something out of him, no matter what it was. The man standing in front of you was one you didnβt recognize. Certainly not the one you spent months with.Β
You turn to Ningning. βCan you step outside for a minute?β
Ningning quickly makes herself scarce, and you cross your arms over your chest.
He doesnβt stop putting his things in the bag he brought.
βSeriously?β
βWhat?β He drops the bag and turns to you. βWhat could I possibly say to make any of this better? All itβll do is make it worse.β
βWhy do you assume that? What gives you the authority to decide what makes things worse for me?β
βI have nothing left to say. Everything is on the table. What are you wanting me to talk about?β
βAnything.β Your shoulders slump. βI donβt get it.β
βI told you itβs not you. I just donβtβ¦feel it, okay? And it wouldnβt be fair of me to string you along when I donβt feel the same way.β
βI know itβs not me.β You shake your head. βI know Iβm not the problem. Youβre doing this becauseβ¦I donβt know. Youβre lazy.β
His chest rises and he looks at the wall past you. βYeah, I am.β
βEveryone in your life walks all over you except for me, and youβre gonna do this?β
Silence.
βIt wouldnβt have taken a lot of effort to keep me around, Chenle, I donβt fucking understandββ
βItβs too late now, isnβt it?β
Your words falter in your throat. You want to agree with him, but your heart urges you not to. It squeezes in on itself, but you canβt bring yourself to say the words you so desperately want toβbecause heβs right. It is too late. He chose to walk away again, and you told him this would happen. You canβt break your own boundaries, your own promises to yourself.
βThatβs what I thought,β he replies, scoffing. βIβm gonna go.β
He moves past you toward the door, but you block it, glaring up at him.
βWell, I hope the next time you start seeing someone elseββ
βTrust me, itβll be a long time before I do that.β
βThe next time you start seeing someone else,β you pause, throwing the door open. βAnd you fall in love with that person, I really, truly hope they donβt do to you what you just did to me.β
He says nothing, but you swear you hear his breath hitch. He moves past you quickly, disappearing past Ningning to the parking lot. As soon as heβs out of sight, you sink to the floor.
How did it come to this?
βYeah, Ning, it was really weird. Iβd never met the dude before, and I just knew who he was likeβ¦instantly.β You hold the phone up to your ear with your shoulder as you wash your dishes.
βHe didnβt know who you were?β
βHe did after I told him my name.β
βRed flag number seven million,β she deadpans. βYou dodged a bullet.β
βYeah, I know.β You sigh. Itβs not something you actually believe. He isnβt some dangerous weapon, and he was never intent on hurting you. He just didβnot that it makes any of this any better.
βYou just need to focus on yourself. Maybe choose a place to sit thatβs not so central to his locationββ
βI donβt need to avoid an entire city to move on.β
βIβm serious, (Y/N). I know you. Whatever youβre holding on to, let it go. He clearly canβt be bothered and you deserve better than what he gave you.β Ningningβs voice takes on a scolding tone, and you turn your sink off.
βI know that, okay? The problem is not me or my self-worth. I know there will be someone else out there thatβll treat me better, but he wasnβt bad the whole time. Heβs not a bad person. The problem isnβt if thereβs someone else, itβs that itβs not him.β You inhale deeply. Itβs been so long since you verbalized the words youβve wanted to say.
Your phone vibrates, and you frown before drying your hands to take a look at it. The name on the screen has your heart stopping completely. You even blink a few times to make sure youβre not making things up.
βUm, Ning, Iβm gonna call you back.β You donβt give her time to respond before you hang up and unlock your phone.
Chenle: Can we talk?
This has to be a sick joke. Now he has more to say? Thatβs new.
You: about?
Chenle: I know this is out of nowhere
Chenle: Itβs not fair, but I just need a few minutes. Are you busy?
Not at all. Your dishes have been gross in your sink for days, but you suddenly have lost all urges to do anything.
You: a little. do you want to meet for coffee tomorrow? iβm free after work.
Chenle: Yeah, if we could. Letβs go to our usual place at six. Thanks, (Y/N). Youβre a better person than I ever could be.
And didnβt you know it.
You groan to yourself, like his message, and try to convince yourself that you have no expectations for tomorrow.
You arrive early, mostly because your anxiety wonβt let you do anything else. Sitting at the table, youβve already ordered both coffees while waiting for him to show up. Your leg bounces up and down, even though you try to appear unbothered.
The bell above the door dings once more, and youβre face to face with the man you truly thought youβd never see again. Your breath catches in your throat. He looks exactly the same, like no time has passed. Logically, itβs only been a couple of months, but you canβt help but study him.
You stare. Not because youβre not sure what to do, but because you donβt want to assume this is a friendly interaction. Bile rises in your throat as he sits across from you. You slide his cup over to him.
βOh, thanks.β Chenle pauses. βYou didnβt have to.β
βI know.β
βRight.β He presses his lips together in a firm line, swirling the liquid around.
βI donβt have a whole lot of time,β you tell him. βWhat did you want to talk about?β
βI wanted to apologize,β he says. βThereβs nothing that would take back what happened, and I get that. I get that itβs all over, but Iβ¦I hurt you. And I donβt think I can forgive myself for that.β
βSo, what? You came here hoping Iβd forgive you instead?β You raise an eyebrow.
βNo.β He shakes his head. βI donβt know. Maybe. Youβre a good person, so I figuredββ
βRight.β You chuckle. βYeah, Chenle, Iβm a good person, but that doesnβt mean I let people walk all over me. If you came here for me to forgive you, youβre in the wrong place.β
βEither way, I needed you to hear that Iβm sorry. Iβ¦I donβt know what I was thinking. I made a mistake.β
βWeβve established that already.β You lean back in your chair. βIβm not mad anymore. IΒ wanted you to feel guilty at first. Thatβs why I said what I did, but honestly, I guess Iβm sorry too. I donβt want that for you anymore. All I want is for you to do what is best for you, maybe try therapy to get over that weird attachment issue you have.β
βYou deserved better.β
βWhat you donβt understand is that things were fine at the beginning. Everything was what a relationship was supposed to be, and then you pulled away. You suddenly couldnβt be reassuring or have feelings and it just is what it is.β
βI want to be better for you.β
The breath catches in your throat and you stare straight at him like heβs an alien. Those are the exact words youβve been craving to hear from him. Youβre stronger now than youβve ever been, but something about the look on his face makes you want to believe him. After all, heβs never lied to you. He was honest every step of the way, even if it hurt in the process.
Your heart wants one thing, but your brain knows whatβs going to happen. Itβll be an endless cycle, and you canβtβwonβtβdo that to yourself.
You reach across the table, putting your hand on top of his. βI appreciate you saying that. And like I told you before, I think youβre capable of so much more than you believe. Iβve always thought the best of you.β
βBut?β His face falls.
βIt hasnβt been long enough.β You ignore the tears welling in your eyes, finally unafraid to show the emotion you fought hard to keep down before. βYou say that now, but itβs not something you can controlβ¦yet. Youβll have the same reaction and youβll do the same thing over and over again, and I canβt do that to myself.β
He wets his lips, nodding slowly.
βYou have a lot of work to do. And I donβt say that to be an asshole. Iβve done a lot of work on myself, too, and Iβve come a long way. You can do it too, but you canβt do it for me. You have to want to do it for yourself. If nothing else comes of this, I really just hope you heal.β
βI never wanted to hurt you. You know that, right?β
You chuckle. βI wouldnβt be here right now if I thought that was your intent.β
β(Y/N), I can be better. I promise I wonβt do it again. Let me prove it to you.β
βI was too much for you. We both know that. Youβre not ready to handle something like this. Something real.β
βYou werenβt too muchββ he says immediately, but the look on your face cuts him off.
You wipe a tear and shake your head. βItβs okay. I know I was. I was too much for you, but you werenβt enough for me. You canβt be until youβve healed. Put in the work, and maybe one day fate aligns all over again. But thatβs not right now.β
βThe doorβs open, then?β His voice is soft, barely audible.
βIt was never closed.β You sniffle and grab your coffee cup. βI loved you, Chenle. And I truly, truly hope you get better for yourself. You deserve so much more out of this life, but I canβt be the one to make you see that.β
You donβt give him the opportunity to respond. He never loved you, and you know. You donβt need to hear him say that.
He was incapable of it. There was nothing you could have done to change what happened without sacrificing yourself, and youβd learned long ago thatβs never worth it. You believe in him and his ability to change, but that doesnβt mean you have to be a participant.
You glance once over your shoulder to find him watching you.
Maybe the image of you walking away is finally what gets through to him.
Description: Chenle was more complex than you originally gave him credit for, and unfortunately for you, that would be your downfall. Lost in the labyrinth, youβll always struggle to find your way out when the rose-colored glasses donβt let the light shine through.
Genre: Smut/Angst/Fluff (non-idol!au)
Content Warnings: Situationship vibes (rip), reader is upsetti spaghetti; explicit, unprotected sex; oral sex (f receiving); alcohol consumption; maybe more i'll let y'all know
Release Date: 9.11.2024
Expected Word Count: 10k (maybe less? maybe more?)
Teaser Word Count: 270
Taglist: Open!! Please let me know if you'd like to be added.
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!reader (featuring random Dream members & Giselle from aespa)
Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)
Heβs like a puppy. You decided that the second you saw him. He greeted you with the worldβs biggest smile, hugged you, and walked you into the cafe he picked to meet at. You were skeptical at firstβitβd been a very long time since youβd felt comfortable enough with a man to allow any sort of physical contact.
Youβre not sure how he snuck into your life, but just days after you met him over coffee, you went out with him to a barβalong with two of your friends. He laughed and smiled with your friends. When Ningning and Giselle got up to go dance, you stayed back in the booth with him because you wouldnβt dare move that warm, daring hand on your thigh.
Everyone went back to your apartment, and you fell asleep on his shoulder. Chenle didnβt leave until well past one in the morning, after the girls had fallen asleep. He texted you when he got home safely as you requested, but you were out like a light within the fifteen minutes it took for him to get there.
The next morning, he met you and your friends for breakfast. Then, two days later, he came over to your apartment again to watch a movie with you. He kissed you, and it felt like everything fell into place. Like this is exactly where you were supposed to be and exactly who you were supposed to be with.
But he warned youβloud and clear, and you never once took heed of those warnings.
masterlist
<- chapter 11: your car's extended warranty
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl @ant-onie @injunnie-lemon @vantxx95
Closed! Sorry everyone, it's hard to keep up with when I'm on hiatus :'(
Description: Chenle was more complex than you originally gave him credit for, and unfortunately for you, that would be your downfall. Lost in the labyrinth, youβll always struggle to find your way out when the rose-colored glasses donβt let the light shine through.
Genre: Smut/Angst/Fluff (non-idol!au)
Content Warnings: Situationship vibes (rip), reader is upsetti spaghetti; explicit, unprotected sex; oral sex (f receiving); alcohol consumption; maybe more i'll let y'all know
Release Date: 9.11.2024
Expected Word Count: 10k (maybe less? maybe more?)
Teaser Word Count: 270
Taglist: Open!! Please let me know if you'd like to be added.
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!reader (featuring random Dream members & Giselle from aespa)
Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)
Heβs like a puppy. You decided that the second you saw him. He greeted you with the worldβs biggest smile, hugged you, and walked you into the cafe he picked to meet at. You were skeptical at firstβitβd been a very long time since youβd felt comfortable enough with a man to allow any sort of physical contact.
Youβre not sure how he snuck into your life, but just days after you met him over coffee, you went out with him to a barβalong with two of your friends. He laughed and smiled with your friends. When Ningning and Giselle got up to go dance, you stayed back in the booth with him because you wouldnβt dare move that warm, daring hand on your thigh.
Everyone went back to your apartment, and you fell asleep on his shoulder. Chenle didnβt leave until well past one in the morning, after the girls had fallen asleep. He texted you when he got home safely as you requested, but you were out like a light within the fifteen minutes it took for him to get there.
The next morning, he met you and your friends for breakfast. Then, two days later, he came over to your apartment again to watch a movie with you. He kissed you, and it felt like everything fell into place. Like this is exactly where you were supposed to be and exactly who you were supposed to be with.
But he warned youβloud and clear, and you never once took heed of those warnings.
masterlist
<- chapter 10: you ARE the problemπ
-> chapter 12: βπ»don'tβπ»beβπ»likeβπ»chenleβπ» (final)
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl @ant-onie @injunnie-lemon @vantxx95
Closed! Sorry everyone, it's hard to keep up with when I'm on hiatus :'(
masterlist
<- chapter 9: i'm a friendless bum now
-> chapter 11: your car's extended warranty
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl @ant-onie @injunnie-lemon @vantxx95
Closed! Sorry everyone, it's hard to keep up with when I'm on hiatus :'(
masterlist
<- chapter 8: forgot she can't speak for herself :/
-> chapter 10: you ARE the problemπ
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl @ant-onie @injunnie-lemon @vantxx95
Closed! Sorry everyone, it's hard to keep up with when I'm on hiatus :'(
masterlist
<- chapter 7: that's my boo bear ):
-> chapter 9: i'm a friendless bum now
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl @ant-onie @injunnie-lemon @vantxx95
Closed! Sorry everyone, it's hard to keep up with when I'm on hiatus :'(
masterlist
<- chapter 6: maybe he's π€ͺπ€―goodπ€―π€ͺ
-> chapter 8: forgot she can't speak for herself :/
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl
open! message me or comment to be addedπ₯°
masterlist
<- chapter 5: jisung y/n lore (you had to be there)
-> chapter 7: that's my boo bear ):
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl
open! message me or comment to be addedπ₯°
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
masterlist
<- chapter 3: that makes two of us π€ππ»
-> chapter 5: jisung y/n lore (you had to be there)
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl @jising-jisang-jisung @multifandomania @nosungluv
open! message me or comment to be addedπ₯°
Description: Your friends call you "the bolter," because every time someone gets close, you run in the opposite direction. When you meet Jisung, things are working behind the scenes--thanks to those same friends.
Genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU! :D suggestive, crack, funny haha stuff idk
This series includes explicit & suggestive content & is not suitable for audiences under 18. If you are a minor, please do not interact.
Content Warnings: suggestive content, man-hating jokes, kys jokes, etc etc will add more when I think of them
taglist: @buns-inhiding @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @theboyz-jacob @pnkified @ki-aechan @sunghoonsgfreal @mrshwang-park @yeosangsbiceps @bugcattie @chenlesfeetpic @defzcl @jising-jisang-jisung
open! message me or comment to be addedπ₯°