or: you and jisung have been dating for a while now and he can't stop talking about you to, well, anyone who would listen. and so of course he has to introduce you to his best friend! only catch is..his best friend is actually your older brother.
warnings: none! 2k-ish crackfic, sibling Quarells, some second hand embarrassment maybe, pathetic attempt at humor and Korean honorifics (cuz it's funnier that way and cuz im back in my kdrama phase)
a/n: requested by my bby sitri I hope you like it 😼
upon your first meeting with jisung, he spilled his entire coffee down your shirt while trying to talk to you, that wasn't particularly the best first impression, but from then on you knew he was a disaster. It wasn’t even a flirtatious disaster—just pure clumsiness, the kind that made him groan and dramatically collapse onto the cafeteria table. "I swear I’m usually smoother than this," he’d muttered into his sleeves, and you’d laugh so hard your sides ached.
Three months later, he still hadn’t gotten any smoother.
Jisung was the kind of boyfriend who sent you memes at 3 AM with captions like "this is us," and it'd be two monkeys holding hands.
He’d show up to your apartment with his shirt inside out, or forget halfway through a sentence what he was even talking about, his hands flailing as he backtracked with, "Wait, no, scratch that—what was the point again?"
You adored it. Adored him, even when he accidentally used your toothbrush and spent the next hour apologizing.
What he lacked in coordination, though, he made up for in sheer, unshakable enthusiasm. Jisung loved loudly. He’d drag you to hole-in-the-wall noodle shops and insist you try his favorite dish, then watch your face with focus because he needed your validation.
He’d memorize the way you took your coffee and show up with it before your morning lectures. And when he talked about you to his friends—which was often, apparently—it was with the kind of reverence usually reserved for rare celestial events.
a text notification buzzed against your thigh at 9:37 PM, the screen glowing with Jisung’s name
Emergency meeting!!!
my friend thinks I’m lying about you!!!!
You snorted, rolling onto your stomach as your fingers tapped back,
What, like I’m some government conspiracy?
Three dots pulsed. Then,
WORSE. He thinks I made you up in a sleep-deprived delirium.
So that’s how you found yourself wedged into a booth at a 24-hour diner at 10pm on a Tuesday, with Jisung vibrating beside you.
“He’s gonna love you,” he assured you for the fourteenth time, “I mean, obviously. Who wouldn’t? But like — specifically him. Because he’s my best friend. And you’re my—” His sentence disintegrated into a flustered hand wave that nearly knocked over the salt shaker.
The bell above the door jingled. Jisung’s head whipped around so fast you heard his neck crack. “HYUNG!” he bellowed, launching halfway out of the booth. You turned — and froze.
Chan stood in the doorway, leather jacket shrugging off one shoulder, Your brother blinked. You blinked. Jisung, oblivious, was already pulling him towards the table “—and she’s real, see? Told you I wasn’t hallucinating!”
Chan’s eyes locked onto yours, his expression flickering between disbelief, amusement, and the faintest hint of protective warning — the same look he’d given you when you’d tried to sneak out of the house at sixteen, wearing eyeliner for the first time.
You pressed your lips together to stifle a laugh as chan made his way over. Jisung, still mid-sentence, hadn’t noticed the silent exchange.
“—so anyway, she’s basically perfect, hyung, like, objectively? And I know you think I have terrible taste—”
Chan cleared his throat, sliding into the booth opposite you both, “Oh, I know you have terrible taste,” he said, deadpan, and you kicked him under the table. but he didn’t flinch, “But let’s hear it. What’s so special about her?”
Jisung, bless him, took the bait like a goldfish going after a shiny hook.
“Everything,” he breathed, hands gesturing wildly. “She laughs at my dumb jokes—like, actually laughs, not the polite ‘oh god he’s embarrassing himself again’ laugh. And she remembers the weirdest stuff about me, like—”
You tuned out momentarily, watching Chan’s face twitch as he fought to keep his expression neutral. His fingers drummed against the tabletop in the same rhythm he’d used to tap out Morse code messages to you when you were kids and he was supposed to be grounded. 'Play along', it seemed to say. You tilted your head and reached for your water glass to hide your grin.
"—And she's smart," Jisung continued, blissfully unaware of the silent conversation happening across the table. "Like, scary smart. Last week she corrected my calculus homework in pen."
Chan scoffed, "Doesn't sound that smart to me," he said, "Correcting calculus is baseline human decency, berry (the family dog) could do that."
You kicked him again, harder this time, but he just grinned, eyes crinkling with mischief. Jisung gasped like Chan had insulted him — well he insulted you which was worse.
"Hyung!" he squawked, half-standing in the booth. "Take that back right now."
jisung looked genuinely distressed, you seized the moment to slide the conversation sideways.
"So!" you said brightly, plucking a fry from Jisung's plate before he could launch into another defense of your intellect. "Chan-ssi, what do you do when you're not doubting my academic credentials?"
The honorific tasted absurd on your tongue — you'd never called your brother anything but "idiot" in your life — but Jisung didn't notice, too busy glaring at Chan.
Chan leaned back, stretching his arms along the booth's vinyl backrest with practiced nonchalance. "Oh, you know," he said, looking like he was enjoying this too much. "Producing tracks, herding idiots like this one away from open flames—" Jisung squawked indignantly "—the usual."
The diner’s lights hummed overhead, casting a garish glow over the half-eaten plate of fries between you. Chan’s smirk widened as he watched Jisung’s face contort in outrage, his fingers now gripping the edge of the table like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.
“Anyway,” Chan drawled, leaning forward, “how long has this relationship been going on, exactly?”
You opened your mouth, but Jisung barreled in like a golden retriever spotting an open car window. this was his favorite thing to talk about after all.
“Three months and seventeen days!” he announced.
“Not that I’m counting or anything, but like, hypothetically, if someone were counting, which I’m not, but if they were, they’d know it was exactly 1,584 hours since our first kiss, which was at 9:23 PM on a Tuesday, so exactly a month and a week ago—”
Chan’s eyebrows climbed so high they nearly disappeared into his hairline. Jisung, completely oblivious to the nuclear-level tension crackling across the table, was now counting off on his fingers. “—and we’ve spent approximately 237 hours together, not including texts, which total roughly—”
“Okay,” Chan cut in, uncharacteristically calm, “Let’s back up.” His gaze flicked to you—really? written all over his face, before settling back on Jisung “You’re telling me you’ve kissed my—” He barely caught himself before saying the word sister “—this perfect, smart, definitely real person—”
“Yes!” Jisung beamed, practically vibrating out of his seat. “And it was even better than I described, hyung, like—” He reached across the table, seizing Chan’s wrist with enthusiasm.
“— and she humors me. Voluntarily. Like yesterday, I texted her that pigeons are government drones, and she agreed and sent me a PowerPoint—”
Chan’s gaze flicked between you and Jisung like he was watching a particularly chaotic ping-pong match. or maybe it was that he couldn't quite imagine his 'baby sis' being with anyone.
“Okay,” he said slowly, each syllable deliberate, “let’s try this again.” He pointed at you with his finger. “You—” Then at Jisung, “—and him. Dating. How did that happen?”
“Oh my god, it was fate,” he gushed, “Like, statistically, what are the odds I’d spill coffee on the one person who’d laugh instead of cursing me? And then she gave me her hoodie like some rom-com heroine—which, by the way, I still have, and it smells like her laundry detergent, which is weirdly comforting—”
Chan’s eye twitched.
“—and then she texted me first after, which never happens, because I’m usually the one sending essay-length apologies for existing—”
You coughed into your napkin, face heating as Jisung’s rambling veered into territory even you hadn’t heard before.
~
The diner’s clock ticked past 12:17 AM when you finally nudged your chair back with an exaggerated stretch. “Alright, disaster duo,” you said, nodding toward Chan’s crumpled menu and Jisung’s fifth refill of soda, “I’ve gotta tap out before my brother files a missing person’s report on me.” You reached for your jacket, but Jisung’s hand shot out, clamping around your wrist with urgency.
“Wait—no,” he blurted, eyes wide and pleading like a kicked puppy. “It’s early. Like, criminally early. The sun’s not even thinking about rising yet.”
His grip tightened slightly, “And—” He hesitated, then brightened with the sudden brilliance of a lightbulb flicking on. “Invite your brother! Yeah! Bring him here! We can—I don’t know—bond over terrible diner soda and judge people’s life choices through the window.”
Chan choked on his own spit, coughing into his fist. “Oh, I’m judging plenty already,” he muttered, shooting you a look that made you bite your lip to keep from laughing, watching Jisung’s face twist in confusion as he glanced between you both.
“Seriously,” Jisung pressed, oblivious to Chan’s internal crisis, “call him!” His fingers were still wrapped around your wrist, warm and slightly sticky from soda condensation. You hesitated, then smirked, pulling your phone from your pocket while making direct eye contact with Chan " y'know what?" you lips curled up in a smirk "i will"
The dial tone pulsed once, twice—then Chan’s ringtone blared from his jacket pocket, the opening bars of some obnoxiously upbeat pop song Jisung had probably forced on him. Chan didn’t even flinch. He just leaned back, dug out his phone, and held it up. The screen flashed Baby Sis.
Chan swiped to answer, pressing the phone to his ear without breaking eye contact with you. "Well?" he said, voice dripping with mock concern through the speaker. "Is everything alright? You never call me this late."
You could see the exact moment Jisung's brain stalled like a computer buffering—his mouth half-open, gaze darting between Chan's face and the phone in his hand. "Uh," he said intelligently, fingers tightening around your wrist.
You raised your own phone to your ear, watching Chan's smirk deepen as you pitched your voice into exaggerated sweetness.
"Oh, just peachy," you chirped into your phone, watching Chan's smirk widen as he leaned forward on his elbows, the diner's garish lighting catching the mischief in his eyes. "Except I'm sitting here with my adorable disaster of a boyfriend—yes, Jisung, I'm talking about you—and I just realized I never introduced you two properly." You paused dramatically, tilting your head. " brother, meet my boyfriend. Boyfriend, meet my very overprotective older brother."
Jisung made a noise like a deflating balloon, his grip on your wrist slackening. His mouth worked soundlessly for a beat before he whispered, "What."
Chan, being an absolute menace, waved at Jisung with his free hand, fingers wiggling in a mock-cute gesture. "Surprise," he said through the phone, then louder in person "Been hearing a lot about you, boyfriend"
Jisung’s face went through approximately ten emotions in three seconds—shock, confusion, dawning horror that chan might genuinely punch him after this, then back to shock before his palms went up to his face as he slid down the chair dramatically.
maybe it'd take him some time to get over this embarrassment. probably more time than it took to get over the embarrassment of your initial meeting.
synopsis -> park jisung has sworn off love after being cheated on. he’s been doing a really great job breaking hearts and not looking back. the boys are worried that they’ve taken fuckboy101 too seriously and have now created the ultimate fuckboy. this conversation was heard by your group of friends who never backs away from a challenge. and so the bets are on: get the ultimate fuckboy to fall in love with you and you’ll get $125 from each friend. deal?
warnings -> guaranteeing a sweetness that will hurt you, pet name unlocked: cherry, too many y/n’s in one room pt. 2, crying, the angst is heavy in this one!!, cheating, deception, reader is known as the cold hearted girl who doesn’t fall in love, emosung, +18, crude humor, language, parties, fuckboys, drinking, magic mike jisung, descriptive nipple play, rough sex, he fucks your tits + obsessed with marking them, jisung is big, emphasis on size kink!!!, mirror sex, lazy morning sex, attempt at shower sex, bathroom sex, masturbation (m+f), exhibitionism, riding him in the photo-booth, doggy style, unprotected sex, the pull out method, cowgirl, spanking, oral (m+f), fingering, pain kink, begging, dirty talk!!!, overstimulation, brief mentions of: virginity, morning after pills, thirst traps, pregnancy, vibrator, fake orgasm.
an -> the sixth installment of the loverboy series is excitingly yours! this is literally all the tropes roped into one. i did not give him piercings im sorry…but i did! give you boobie-obsessed jisung and i think the most smut scenes in the history of the loverboy universe! there’s also a fun little thirst trap video in here, make sure to click it ;) important things to note -> 1) jisung was the fuckboy in making turned into the ultimate fuckboy due to fuckboy101 classes with markhyuck 2) all of the boys, except renjun, are happily in love! have fun reading, i’ll be waiting for your reactions. with love, c.
🍒 DECEMBER 14 - USE CODE JISUNG69.
“what the hell is this?,” jisung mutters, squinting as he pushes open the gym doors. the fluorescent lights hum overhead, casting a dull glow on the otherwise empty basketball court – empty except for the six dream boys sitting in a circle, like they were hosting a cult meeting. every single one of them turns to look at him in unison, like he’d just walked into a stage where he was the star of the show.
“this is your intervention,” renjun says calmly, arms folded across his chest like he was the head counselor at the rehab facility.
jisung pauses, then lets out a low, disbelieving chuckle, “intervention for what exactly? being too good at life?”
“you’ve become a menace,” jaemin says, shaking his head like a disappointed dad, “do you even know how many people on campus have a picture of your dick?”
haechan shakes his head, “you’ve singlehandedly skyrocketed the sales of morning-after pills…they’re probably gonna name a discount code after you.”
jisung smirks, “JISUNG69 has a good ring to it,” he laughs, cocking his head proudly, leaning against the nearest bleacher but he was the only one who found it funny, “come on hyungs, i’m just doing what you guys taught me. don’t be mad if the student surpassed the masters.” it was true. fuckboy101, they called it. a dumb joke at first. it started freshman year, when jisung found out the girl he’d planned his future around had been cheating on him for months. he was wrecked. could barely eat, couldn’t sleep. so the older boys took it into their own hands: teach him how to stop feeling. step one - hook up. step two - don’t feel. step three - repeat until you forget who hurt you in the first place. but somewhere along the way, jisung mastered the syllabus and rewrote the course.
“dude,” mark groans, “you got cheated on. we were trying to help you survive, not turn into a full-time asshole.”
“freshman year was different,” jeno adds, voice soft, always the gentlest with him, “back then, you were hurting. you needed the distraction. but now… it’s like you’re addicted to the performance.”
“it’s not a performance,” jisung argues, crossing his arms, the smirk returning like armor, “i’m just living my best life.”
“you’re living in denial,” chenle cuts in bluntly, no hesitation, “every girl you sleep with is someone you ghost and every time you laugh it off, you just look more hollow. it’s not hot anymore. it’s pathetic.” that one lands. jisung stiffens, the smirk faltering for a split second. the air tightens. then he laughs. it’s not light. it’s sharp and cynical, a little too loud for the room.
“oh, i get it,” he says bitterly, his voice dipping into something dangerous, “just because you’re all in love now, you think it’s real? you think it’s forever?”there’s a beat of silence. jisung’s lips curl into something venomous, “your girls are probably out cheating on all of you right now.”
the words land like a punch – ugly, uninvited, and way too personal. everyone freezes. the silence that follow isn’t just tense, it’s disgusted. the image he plants in their heads is too graphic, too cruel. he knows it. that’s why he said it.
“jesus,” jaemin mutters, jaw clenching, like he’s holding himself back from standing, “dude, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“stop projecting,” chenle snaps, his voice sharp now, nothing soft or understanding about it anymore, “just because she broke you doesn’t mean the rest of us are doomed to get screwed over too.”
mark holds up a hand before it escalates further, “that’s not you talking,” he says slowly, voice steady, almost sad, feeling very responsible, “that’s your hurt talking. and it’s turning you into someone we don’t even recognize.”
renjun’s voice is softer when he speaks, but no less pointed, “take it from the only other single guy here, you’re pushing everyone away before they can even get close, it’s like you want to prove no one sticks around so badly, you make sure they don’t.”jisung says nothing. just clenches his jaw, fists tight at his sides. his smirk is gone. what’s left is something colder, blanker. a shield he’s worn for too long. he turns on his heel and walks out without another word, footsteps echoing across the court. the door slams behind him. the court falls into silence again, except this time — it's full of guilt.
renjun exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose, “god, i told you guys he was too far gone.”
“don’t say that,” haechan murmurs, still staring at the door, “he’s not. he’s just…lost.”
mark swallows, voice barely above a whisper, “and we’re the ones who handed him the map.”
the night air hits him. cold. damp. too real. jisung exhales sharply as he storms out of the gym, fists shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie. the slamming door behind him does nothing to silence the voices ringing in his head: “you’re living in denial” “it’s pathetic” “you’re pushing everyone away before they can even try to stay.” he walks blindly, past the buildings, the trees, the vending machines that always ate his coins. the campus is dead quiet, except for the sound of his shoes hitting the pavement — it should feel peaceful. it doesn’t. it feels suffocating. like the silence is pressing on his chest. he stops beneath a flickering lamp post, kicking at a loose stone on the ground. it skitters away uselessly, just like everything else lately. he runs both hands through his hair, tugging hard at the roots. “fuck.” they were right. that’s what makes it worse. he knows he’s been falling. he’s known it for a while now – since the hookups stopped feeling exciting, since the girls started blurring together, since his own name stopped feeling like his. he doesn’t even know who he is anymore without the act. and the thing that scares him the most? he can’t remember the last time he was actually present. the last time he said something and meant it. the last time breathing felt like breathing and not just going through the motions. he used to be the kid who danced like his heart was on fire, who cried when he got the lead in his first showcase, who actually believed in things like forever and soulmates. who wrote love letters and had faith in fate — now he wakes up in strangers’ sheets and can’t remember what he dreamt. now he flirts like it’s a reflex and kisses like it means nothing. now he puts on different smiles and still feels the same emptiness every night. like something inside of him has died and no one noticed. not even him. but having them see it, say it, like they’re peeling open his chest and pointing at the hollow parts makes him want to scream. it makes him want to destroy something just so he can feel in control of the falling. because if he’s the one choosing it – this spiral, this recklessness, then maybe it’s not as pathetic as it feels. maybe it means he still has some kind of power left.
he sits on the low edge of a planter box, elbow on his knees, staring down at the concrete like it might give him answers. his jaw clenches so tightly it aches, “i’m not the one who’s lost,” he mutters to no one, voice hoarse, “they are.” but even he doesn’t believe it. he swallows hard. his throat burns. the back of his eyes sting. no tears fall. he doesn’t let them anymore. not since her. not since he realized that loving people only gives them the power to break you. not since he promised himself no one would ever get close enough to wreck him again. he laughs bitterly under his breath, wiping a hand over his face like he could scrub the shame off. they think he’s heartless, cruel, and toxic — they’re not wrong. but at least this version doesn’t get left behind. doesn’t beg. doesn’t hope. doesn’t play the fool. at least this version of him knows how to survive. even if it means never really living again.
🍒 DECEMBER 15 - THE ULTIMATE FUCKBOY.
your table was chaotic as usual. dongpyo was making a tiktok, sion was halfway through a rant about the new dance professor and sophia was trying to steal fries off everyone’s trays with zero remorse. and then there was karina, leaned back in her chair, sipping her iced coffee with a smug little smile on her lips. like she was the only one in the room who had the full picture. because she was —karina hadn’t meant to hear it. she was only there to pick up her water bottle from the locker room that she left behind after cheerleading practice. the gym had been mostly empty, lights dimmed for the night, except for one glaring row still on near the court. voices. she heard them before she even opened the locker room door. familiar. sharp. heated — you noticed that wicked glint in her eyes first. the one she only ever got when she was about to ruin someone’s life for sport. she waited until dongpyo finally finished his tiktok to announce it.
“i have your challenge,” she said, pointing at you with her straw, “it’s your turn.”
the whole table froze like a scene in a teen drama. sophia gasped, “wait, have we finally found the perfect challenge? she’s long overdue.”
“everyone else had one,” sion nodded, “mine was making that TA fall in love with me.”
“i convinced that film major to write a full short script about me, a tragic romantic lead,” dongpyo adds. they all turned to you now – smirking, expectant. you leaned back in your seat, “okay. hit me.”
karina’s smile widened, “make jisung fall in love with you.”
time stopped. then the table collectively reacted—“no,” sophia gasped, clapping a hand to her mouth.
“oh my god,” dongpyo whispered.
you blinked slowly, “park jisung?”
karina nodded, “the one and only.”
sion looked like he’d just watched someone propose public arson, “that’s insane. he doesn’t even believe in love.”
“that’s the point,” karina grinned, “he’s the final boss. the ultimate fuckboy. no feelings. no commitment. basically allergic to love.” she paused for dramatic effect, “and you have until new year’s eve, that gives you two weeks.”
“sixteen days,” sion corrected, pulling up his calendar, “sixteen days to pull of a miracle.”
dongpyo was already buzzing, “okay, but imagine if you do it. that’s legendary.”
karina raised her iced coffee like a toast, “get him to fall in love with you, actually say the word love and boom – you win. $125 from each of us.” you glanced around the table. that was a total of $500. on paper. easy money. and you were feeling a lot more confident because you knew something they didn’t. that night. two years ago.
FRESHMAN YEAR: DECEMBER 24
the dream boys had gone all out for their first ever christmas eve party. strobe lights bouncing off the keg. music pulsing hard enough to shake the floor. bodies everywhere, pressed into each other, grinding on the makeshift dance floors, laughing too loud. glitter stuck to sweaty necks and polyester santa skirts clung to thighs. someone was wearing a santa costume with way too much confidence. someone else was dressed up as a reindeer. it was all a mess and it smelled like regret. you were halfway through your second jungle juice, trying not to die in your red heels, when you saw him slouched against the wall, red cup in hand, hood up even though it was hot as hell inside. his eyes looked tired. not drunk-tired. sad-tired. like he hadn’t slept in days. not even trying to mask the kind of ache you learned to recognize. sadness hiding in flirtation. that’s what he was. someone trying too hard to pretend he was having fun. you hadn’t really talked before, but you recognized him from class — park jisung. dance major. first year. just like you. you’d danced together once during partner improv. he was light on his feet, good with rhythm, awkward when the music stopped. the first time you noticed him he was wearing oversized glasses that kept sliding down his nose. tonight, his hoodie was zipped halfway done, revealing a sliver of collarbone and the thin chain around his neck. his face had lost the softness from orientation week, jaw more defined, hair styled like he tried. he looked cooler. that fake kind of cool that didn’t quite match the awkward, lanky kid he still clearly was under the hoodie. he looked up, met your gaze, blinked like he was surprised you saw him. you stopped in front of him, tilting your head, “you look like you’re at the wrong party.”
he gave a short, humorless laugh, “i’m doing my homework.”
you raised a brow, “is that a metaphor or…?”
he shrugged, took a sip of his drink, “mark and haechan says i can’t graduate heartbreak until i finish fuckboy 101, apparently the final exam of the year is sleeping with someone hotter than your ex.”you didn’t even pretend to be shocked. you’d heard the story. his high school girlfriend. the one who wore a purity ring and promised they'd’ both wait for marriage. turns out she wasn’t waiting at all. not when there were upperclassmen willing to bend her over a desk three months into the school year. the video spread throughout the campus. she transferred schools. jisung had stayed behind, bruised but breathing. the dream boys took him under their wing immediately after. and you weren’t doing any better. you’d just gotten ghosted by someone who said “you didn’t care enough.” whatever that meant. so here you were, both cracked open in your own ways. both leaning against the wall at a frat party where poor decisions floated in jungle juice and strobe lights.
“how’s the course going?,” you asked.
he sighed, “stuck on the finals,” he tipped his beer, “cheers to losing your virginity after your girlfriend.”
“i’ve never done it either,” you said. calm. clear. “figured i’d wait then realized i didn’t actually care anymore.”
he blinked, “wait…you’re a virgin?”
you looked at him, nodded, “wanna pop each other’s cherries and call it a night?”
his jaw dropped slightly, “are you serious?”
you shrugged, meeting his eyes, “you want to pass your final exam. i want to stop waiting. neither of us wants romance. so?”
he stared at you like you just offered to solve climate change, “unless you’re still waiting for fate or whatever,” you added. he lets out a slow, disbelieving laugh, then held out his hand, “come on, cherry.”
you blinked, “what?”
he grinned like he just came up with the best nickname in the world, “if we’re popping each others cherries, the name fits, right?”
you groaned, “that’s the dumbest nickname i’ve ever–”
“too late,” he said, already leading you up the stairs, “it’s canon.” his room was surprisingly clean. the bed had actual sheets. straightened, even. the blue led lights running along his ceiling gave everything a hazy, aquarium-glow vibe. there was a single hoodie on the floor and an unopened can of monster on his desk, right beside his forgotten glasses. you hovered awkwardly near his dresser, heart pounding, skin already warm with nerves. the music from the party downstairs pulsed faintly through the door. jisung shut the door behind you with a soft click. his hand lingering on the doorknob like he was buying himself a few more seconds of courage. “so, uh…,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “should we like…set the mood?”
you blinked, “what?, you wanna light a candle and put on the weeknd?”
he laughed, a real one this time, “i don’t know! i’ve never done this before, it might sound better than dead silence and me panicking.”
you kicked off your shoes, “i guess music might help?,” you ask and he nods, immediately pulling out his phone, fumbling with the bluetooth. after a few taps, a sultry beat filled the room – the first song on a playlist that had clearly been curated.
i’m just a bachelor…looking for a partner…someone who knows how to ride…
you stared, “wait. is this—”
if you’re horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony…
“don’t judge me,” he cuts in, cringing as he sits on the edge of his bed, “the boys made this for me, they said i’d need it once i finally…you know.”
“turn it off!” you said, already laughing. he scrambled to shut it off, almost dropping his phone in the process. you made your way to the edge of his bed, a full foot away from him, “do you have a condom?” he jumped up, pulled opened his nightstand drawer where he knew jaemin threw some in for him some time last month going on and on about how important it is to practice safe sex and how this frat house wasn’t ready to raise a child. he held it up, eyes widening a little bit at the words XL written on the packet, “uhhm, check,” he says, letting out an awkward cough as he made his way back next to you.
you raised an eyebrow, “do you know how to put it on?”
“...i watched a youtube video once. it was animated,” he stutters out.
“perfect. two virgins, one mission,” you try to joke around. there was a beat of silence. you looked at each other one more time. a mutual agreement. before finally leaning in — the first kiss was soft. hesitant. lips brushing more than pressing. a breath shared between nerves. the second was better. his hand cupping the back of your head, thumb brushing your cheek. his mouth was warm. you tilted your head, fingers tugging lightly at the fabric of his hoodie. you broke apart, cheeks flushed, a little breathless, “do we take our clothes off now? or is there a countdown?”
“i was just gonna start,” he said, tugging off his hoodie in one quick motion. his shirt rode up, flashing pale skin and the outline of his abs. you followed, pulling your shirt over your head. his eyes flicked to your chest then darted away, ears burning red. clothes peeled off with a mixture of clumsy hands and nervous giggles. there was no grace to it. at one point, he stubbed his toe against the bed frame and swore under his breath. you didn’t look at each other too long. too intimate. too real. better to laugh through it.
“left hook,” you muttered as he fumbled with your bra.
“i was getting there,” he grinned, flustered. but once you were down to nothing, the air shifted. you both froze, suddenly hyper-aware of everything – breath, skin, the heat rushing up your necks. he looked at you, all flushed skin and hesitation, and whispered, “you’re really pretty.”
you frowned, trying to hide the blush that was sneaking it’s way to your cheeks, “that’s dangerously close to romance.”
he smirked, “fine. you’ve got excellent tit symmetry.” you laughed then laid back. he hovered above you, knees braced on either side of your thighs, his hands sinking into the mattress beside your ribs. his skin is warm against yours. chest to chest, heartbeats out of sync. his breath feathered across your jaw, “is this okay?” he whispered.you nodded, “yeah.” he kissed you again — deeper this time, tongue sliding softly against yours before moving down. his lips trailed from your jaw to your neck, pausing with each inch like he was asking without asking. his nervous hands gently brushed over your breasts, eyes flicking up to meet yours for permission. you nodded again. and he lowered his mouth to your chest. warm. experimental. he was trying, earnestly. he took his time, sucking on your breasts, softly, reverently, a little too cautious, tongue flicking over skin clumsily before making his way down to your stomach, your thighs, fingers slipping between your legs with shy curiosity.
he looked up from between your legs, almost sheepish, “tell me if i’m doing it wrong.” you nodded. your chest rising and falling, excitement and nerves coursing through your veins. he slid a finger in slowly, your breath hitched. then his tongue followed through, tentative licks that turned sure when you gasped, “right there,” you moaned quietly, “that’s good,” he sucked carefully, learning your body like a choreography. he was a quick learner, adjusting to your sounds, every twitch of your hips, every short gasps but it was feeling dragged on and you just wanted to get this over with, “jisung, i’m gonna come.” he didn’t stop until you finished moaning, kissing your thigh, grinning up at you, “you’re better at that than i expected,” you say.
he laughs, “i would sure hope so, i had a couple lessons on how to eat a girl out.”
you laugh in disbelief, “get the condom.” he tore the packet open…the wrong way. the foil ripped straight down the middle, narrowly missing the actual condom, “shit,” he hissed.
“off to a strong start,” you teased.
“give me a break, i’m under pressure,” his voice trembled slightly as he pulled out the condom and stared at it like it was a high-level math equation. then he rolled it on with a shaky hand, trying to remember the way the boys told him how to put it on. he lined himself up, hoping to god he put the condom on correctly and his eyes searched for yours again.
“you ready?,” he asked, voice barely a whisper.
“yeah,” you said, breath shallow, “you?”
he nodded, then added, “if i like…die mid-thrust, tell the boys i was brave.” you laughed, “just do it.” finally, he pushed in and the stretch made you hiss instantly, body immediately locking up. he was big.
“shit–are you okay?,” he asked immediately, freezing, barely halfway in as he tried to push away the groan begging to escape his lips. his voice was all panic and guilt, “d-did i do something wrong? am i–did i hurt you?”
“no.” you rushed to say, swallowing hard, gripping his arms, eyes shutting in pain, “it’s just…,” you suck in a breath, “you-re–uh…bigger than i expected.” his eyes widened, “r-really? like…in a good way or a what the hell is that kind of way?” he was trying so hard to talk. to ignore the way he feels like he’s about to bust any second now. you let out a shaky laugh, trying to calm yourself down and adjust to him, “i don’t know, i have nothing else to compare it to.”
“i-i can pull out,” he offered, like the gentleman he was, “we can stop. i’ll go put on pony again as punishment.”
“no–no, it’s okay,” you smiled, your grip on him loosening just a little bit, cheeks hot, “just give me a second.” he nodded, holding as still as a statue. his forehead was damp, his eyes were locked on yours like he was afraid to blink and every second that he doesn’t move is starting to hurt. you were so tight. so warm. it felt way too good. a few seconds passed and you gave him a small nod, “okay, you can move. just…slow, please.”
he nodded, resuming his movement with a delicacy of someone handling glass. he let out a breathless moan as he slid in the rest of the way, “oh my god,” he whispered, “i-i can’t…t-this feels…insane.” you both laughed breathlessly, even as your legs trembled slightly and he was panting really hard, trying to stay in control of his own body. he started thrusting. “fuck—holy shit—you’re s-so tight,” the pace was uneven, but there was something sincere about it. something that made your chest ache in the best way. he was trying and you were both figuring it out. he let out another strangled moan, hips stuttering, “i-i don’t think i’m gonna last.”
“it’s okay,” you said softly. you clung to him, breath hitching from the stretch and the closeness and the ridiculousness of it all. it was chaos. sweat. and genuine effort that was sweeter than you expected. the sounds he made were helpless and desperate, his grips on your hips tightening like he was afraid he’d float away. he managed maybe a few more sharp thrusts before he stilled completely, letting out the softest whimper as he collapsed over you, completely spent, chest heaving. “oh my god—that was…i’m so sorry. that was so fast, it just felt really good,” he looked at you with wide, apologetic eyes, almost like a shocked hamster, before flopping back against his pillows, trying to catch his breath. you laughed, turning your head to face him “at least one of us enjoyed it.”
“don't look at me,” he groaned, covering his face with a pillow, ears bright red, “this is the worst performance of my life, i’m gonna get roasted in the group chat if they ever find out.” you smiled, sitting up and hooking your bra back on, there was a slight soreness around your legs but it wasn’t bad, “want me to tell them that you were so good you made me cum twice on your first try?” — he peeked at you from where he lay sprawled on the bed, arm flung over his face, a smirk tugged at his lips, “nah, they’ll know you’re lying for sure. i almost cried when they asked a girl to give me my first ever blowjob.” you burst out laughing, tugging your shirt over your head, “well, at least you didn’t cry this time.”
“thanks for letting me fail sex in peace,” he reached over blindly and handed you your skirt, “are you okay?”
“i’m okay, i didn’t really expect anything else but that,” you grinned, putting it on, “thanks for lasting at least thirty seconds.”
he laughed, “brutal,” he grabbed his boxers off the floor and slipped them on, “round two is gonna blow your mind.” you grinned, poking his cheek and he scrunched his nose up like a kid, “i’ll believe it when i feel it.”
but round two never came. no rain check. no late night texts. no next time. you never talked about it again. not once. not during warm-ups in the dance studio. not even when you both got casted in the same contemporary piece sophomore year and had to press your bodies together in sync for eight straight counts. it stayed unspoken. like the bloodstain you left behind on his sheet that you were both too polite to acknowledge out loud. a mark that something changed. proof of the night you spent together. the line you crossed clumsily and awkwardly — jisung moved on fast and loud. girls left his room still fixing their hair. not one ever stayed the night. rumors spread like wildfire – his stamina, his smirk, his fingers, his massive cock that apparently left girls limping down the hallway and giggling behind their hands. there was always a new name, a new story, sometimes two in the same night. he laughed about it. shrugged when the guys teased him. told bold stories in the cafeteria like he hadn’t once looked nervous just unhooking a bra. like he wasn’t the same boy who asked if you were okay with wide-eyed panic and the softest voice. and you had your share of forgettable one night stands too. you tried to prove to yourself that it didn’t mean anything. that it’s just part of the college life. but you figured it out early on, that wasn’t what you wanted. and none of it was ever…fun. no guy ever made you come. not once. they were either too rough, too rushed, too distracted by their own performance. so eventually, you stopped trying to prove anything. stopped searching for something that didn’t feel right. you had your hand. your vibrator. that was enough. more than enough, really. at least with yourself, there were no disappointments. still, despite everything, you and jisung never ignored each other. it wasn’t that kind of silence. you shared a major. shared mirror space during warm-ups. ran across the same floors in the same studios. sometimes you traded banter in the hallway, complained about calluses and hip bruises, about professors who made you redo the same combo until your knees gave out. he still called you cherry when no one was listening. the name slipped from his lips like muscle memory. you never asked him to stop. there was a rhythm to it — the teasing, the familiarity, the way you orbit each other without ever colliding again. a quiet pact. unspoken, but always there. like a secret tucked into the back pocket of jeans you never wear anymore but never quite throw away either. and he always gave you this look. like he remembered. not in a guilty way. not even in a longing way. just… recognition. like the memory lived behind his eyes, blurry at the edges but still intact. you remembered too. the awkwardness. the fumbling hands. the sting — a little humiliating. definitely clumsy. not something you’d brag about. but still, it was yours. no one else knew. not your friends. not his. just the two of you. and maybe that made it even more intimate than if it had been perfect. more intimate than if you’d kissed afterward. or cuddled. or talked about how it felt. it was a secret — flawed, forgotten on the surface, but buried deep in the soft, silent place where your memory keeps the things you never say out loud.
END OF FLASHBACK – BACK TO DECEMBER 15
“earth to y/n?,” your eyes flicked up. karina was waving her hand in front of your face, her iced coffee dangerously close to spilling on your tray, “did you just disassociate mid-conversation?”
“sorry,” you said smoothly, settling back in your seat, “i was just thinking.”
“are we doing this or not?,” dongpyo asked, already opening his notes app to track the money, “because i’ve got venmo open right now and i’m ready to start collecting.” sophia leaned forward like she was presenting the final act in a very glamorous heist movie, “park jisung. sixteen days. make him fall for you before the clock hits midnight on new year’s. he confesses, you win $500”
“and you know the rules…if you lose…” karina added sweetly, the kind of sweet that always came before something evil, “if you fall in love with him—,” she smiled like she could already taste your downfall, “you pay all of us.” the table fell quiet. you paused just long enough to make them wonder. let it hang. like maybe you’d say no. like maybe you were scared. but the truth was – you weren’t scared at all. they didn’t know that you’d once shared something with park jisung that no amount of rumors or girls could erase. you had history on your side. the nickname. the secret. the fact that you were each other's firsts and you know what they say about that. a man never forgets his first. so you leaned forward, let a sly smile curl across your lips, and with every ounce of confidence you could muster, you said, “duh. i’m not a rookie, he’ll be in love with me by new years.”
the table erupted into cheers, giggles and the clicking of phones – someone already making a group chat to track progress. but your smile didn’t falter once. you straightened your posture. took a sip of karina’s coffee without asking, just to piss her off.
🍒 DAY 1 OF THE BET - NO REFUNDS.
jisung was not breaking. he’d heard every single thing the boys said. the intervention that was more a roast. but they didn’t get it. he was fine. perfectly, wonderfully fine. so what if he hadn’t had a real relationship since freshman year? so what if his hookups felt like reruns now? if the only real satisfaction came from the way people talked about him afterward, not during? he could be in a relationship if he wanted one. he just didn’t want to waste his time. that’s all. feelings? commitment? vulnerability? all messy. all pointless. love was a slow death and he wasn’t interested in dying twice. still, he had a point to prove. a simple solution — he’d find someone to date. publicly. casually. just long enough to get the guys off his back. just long enough to remind them, and himself, that he was still in control. that he was still unfazed, untouchable. it was the perfect plan. easy. controlled. safe.
jisung swiped his keycard, pushed open the door to dance studio 7 and froze. like some sick cosmic joke — you were there. he wasn’t expecting anyone to be here. that was the whole point of booking this time. 11:00 p.m. to midnight. the last hour the studios stayed open. it was quiet, empty, forgotten, most students too tired to care or too sane to drag themselves across campus this late. but for him, it was sacred. the hum of the building settling into sleep, the hallway lights dimmed, the mirrors fogged with the day’s ghosts. this was when he could breathe. no image. no professors. no voices in his head except the rhythm and the beat pulsing through his headphones. and he needed it. especially after the ambush from the guys. he needed to dance it out. burn it out. put the stupid idea of relationships in a box and light it on fire. yet here you are, already warming up in the studio. in his time slot. your airpods were in, stretching lazily, arms overhead and spine arched in a way that was way too distracting, oblivious to the way time seemed to pause the second he saw you. you looked good. like you always do. not done-up or dressed to impress, just… comfortable. effortless. his hand dropped from the strap of his bag. the word left his mouth before he could stop it, “cherry?,” he said, like maybe you were a hallucination, “what are you doing here?” you looked up mid-shoulder roll, pulling one earbud out with a smirk like you’d been expecting him all along, “what, i’m not allowed to be here?”
“just surprised,” he stepped in slowly, tossing his hoodie onto the couch, trying not to stare, “no one sane ever comes at this hour.”
“you’re here,” you point out. “exactly,” he replies, a smirk on his face. you rolled your eyes but smiled, brushing past him to grab a hair tie from your bag. he didn’t move. didn’t even pretend not to watch as you twisted your hair up into a messy bun. he sat against the mirror wall, arms propped behind him, legs stretched out like he owned the place. you caught the way he was looking. didn’t comment. but didn’t look away either.
“so…” you started, voice light but deliberate, “got anyone special these days?” he narrowed his eyes, a smug smirk on his face, “are you flirting with me, cherry?” you gave a little shrug, walked closer, sat next to him and dropped your voice like it was a secret just between you, “would it be so bad if i was?” he blinked at you, caught off guard. for all the teasing and casual conversations over the years, it had never quite been this… direct.
“that depends,” he smirks, almost deviously, “are you asking for round two?”
you laugh, shoving his shoulder, “round two of what? another thirty seconds?,” you tease him playfully.
“wow,” jisung clutched his chest like you’d stabbed him, “that’s crazy. you’re gonna say that to a guy who gave you the gift of his sacred virginity?” you just laughed harder, reaching to grab your water bottle from your bag. “just saying, if you’re gonna break a girl’s hymen, the least you could do is make her cum.” — for the first time since that night you talk about it. and instead of being awkward or tense or heavy, it was just… funny. honest. he laughed too, shaking his head, “in my defense, i was nervous as hell.”
“you were shaking like a chihuahua, jisung,” you grinned over the rim of your water bottle, “took you five full minutes to unclasp my bra.”
“it was an emotional experience!,” he argued, pointing at you, “and you stared at me like i was solving a rubik’s cube with my elbows,” he says.
“honestly, i should’ve asked for my virginity back,” you tease.
he shakes his head no, “it was a limited edition, no refunds kind of situation,” you both burst out in giggles — bright and unfiltered, shoulders shaking, the ridiculousness making the awkward memory feel lighter, easier. he watched you, something fond and almost too-soft flickering behind his eyes. when the laughter died down, he leaned his head back, flashing you that cocky smirk he’d perfected over the years, “well,” he said, “you’ll be happy to know i’ve had plenty of practice since then.”
you narrowed your eyes, unimpressed, “have you now?”
“i have, thank you very much,” he says, “the reviews have been overwhelmingly positive.” you laugh, rolling your eyes. he turned his head toward you, hair messy, cheeks flushed from laughing, “you really picked the worst time to show up here.”
you glanced down at him, amused, “why’s that?”
“because i was planning on being emotionally unavailable in peace,” he smiles. you tap his thigh, “too bad. i came to haunt your peace and cause emotional instability. you’re welcome.” — and for some reason, it made him smile.
🍒 DAY 2 OF THE BET - ALL KINDS OF LOVE.
you barely made it through the studio doors when you felt the shift in the room. excitement. buzzing. competitive energy sparking off the floor like static. the room was packed, more chaotic than usual for a morning class. water bottles clinked against the hardwood, sneakers squeaked, someone was blasting music in a corner until it abruptly cut off. and at the front of it all stood dance professor, taeyong, arms folded, head slightly tilted, looking far too pleased with himself — “good morning, my lovely dancers,” he greeted with that signature, slightly chaotic smile, “i hope you’ve all been stretching, hydrating, getting good sleep, because today i give you…your final project.” a collective inhale swept through the room. a few people stiffened. professor taeyong clasped his hands together, “a partnered piece,” he announced with relish. groans rippled through the room, followed by an explosion of whispers and movement. people were already darting across the floor, practically throwing themselves into pairings before professor taeyong could even finish speaking, “and!” he added, voice rising above the chaos, “before you all partner up, this won’t be just any duet.” the room stilled, everyone waiting for his next instruction. “your piece,” he said slowly, “must be themed around something simple. something unavoidable. something we experience in a hundred different ways, every single day.” he paused for dramatic effect —“Iove.”
“i want all kinds of love,” professor taeyong continued, “romantic. platonic. unrequited. obsessive. euphoric. intimate. joyful. destructive. longing so sharp it aches. lust so thick it stifles. i want it all.” some students side-eye him, “don’t look at me like that,” he scolded cheerfully, “this is a performance program! if you can’t sell a story with your body, you shouldn’t be here. and there’s nothing more complex, more magnetic, more devastating…than love.” he let that sit for a moment, soaking into everyone’s skin, then he added, “you’ll be choreographing your own duet,” he continued, “no solos. no excuses.”
you blinked. a duo project? about love? this was the universe handing you your early christmas present. gift-wrapped. on a silver platter. with a red bow on top. you already knew who your partner was going to be. had to be. this wasn’t just convenient – it was strategy. leverage. the kind of setup your friends would later call suspiciously lucky. except…the moment you turned around, looking for his figure, your smirk faltered. there was a line. like, an actual line of girls already circling your $500 – all bright-eyed and bouncy, some fluffing their hair, some fake-stretching in his direction like they just happened to be near. you stared in disbelief as one of them twirled. just…twirled. for no reason. karina slid up beside you, sipping her iced coffee with both hands like it was tea, “you’d better move fast,” she said, nodding toward the growing crowd, “looks like your man’s running a love island season over there.”
you narrowed your eyes, “relax. i’m not worried.
she grinned, “you should be, i can already smell that sweet $125.” you rolled your eyes but your gaze flicked back to the group. jisung stood at the center of it, half listening as one girl twirled a lock of her hair and asked if he preferred contemporary or hip-hop. another was already trying to show him her spotify playlist. but jisung wasn’t really listening. you didn’t notice the way his eyes kept scanning around the room. tracking every figure until they landed on you — because while you were plotting how to use this project to win the bet, he had made a decision of his own. sometime after midnight, when he couldn’t stop thinking about how fun you were to be around. he needed to get the boys off his back. they wanted him to take someone seriously? fine. he’d fake one. or start one. whatever. you weren’t obsessed with him like the others. and he already knows you wouldn’t get weird. you didn’t fawn or fake giggle. you were blunt. sharp. fun. safe. he just had to convince you. he spotted you and you caught his eye too. he broke from the crowd without hesitation. the girls blinked in confusion as he brushed past them like they weren’t even there. he walked across, calm and sure, until he stopped in front of you, “hey, y/n?”
you looked up, a smirk already forming, “yeah?”
“wanna be partners?,” he asked simply. no dramatic build up. karina choked on her drink beside you. “you sure you haven’t promised your thirty seconds to someone else?,” you asked, nodding at the group now staring daggers in your direction. he rolled his eyes though a light smile was tugging at his lips at the inside joke, “you’re never letting that go, are you?”
“nope,” you grinned, playfully shaking your head.
“i promise i’ll give you my thirty seconds and all the time in the world,” he deadpanned, almost too smoothly
“hmm,” you pretend to consider, “fine. i’m okay with that.”
he shake his head, chuckling, “so…partners?,” offering his hand out for a handshake. you shook it, warm fingers brushing. just for a second. but it lingered. “same time as last night?,” you asked.
“tomorrow, same studio, don’t be late,” he warned, smirking now, “i charge by the minute.”
you snorted, “then it’s a good thing you don’t last more than one.” he laughed, that easy, low laugh that made your stomach twist annoyingly, and walked off without another word. you stared after him for just a second too long. then you turned to karina and stuck your tongue out, smug. her mouth was already hanging open, “wait,” she blinked, “last night?,” she hissed, grabbing your arm, “you were together last night?”
you shrugged, very casually, “we just happened to be at the studio at the same time.” karina looked at you suspiciously but she looked genuinely impressed, “you sly bitch,” she gasps, “you don’t waste a second, do you?” you gave a small, nonchalant shrug, though your smile was too proud to hide, “i’m just being efficient. you guys didn’t give me much time.”
she leaned in, eyes wide, “what’s your plan now?”
“simple,” you said, smirking, not missing a beat —“we rehearse. we flirt. he falls. i win.”
🍒 DAY 3 OF THE BET - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
the lights were low. just the mirrors lit softly by overhead fluorescents, making the whole room feel hushed, almost sacred. the kind of stillness that made every sound feel louder — every breath, every heartbeat, every shift in the air. the speaker sat idle in the corner, blinking silently like it was waiting for permission to speak. jisung sat across from you, hoodie sleeves pushed to his elbows, legs mirroring yours. there was a gap between you, not far, maybe two feet. the silence wasn’t awkward. it felt different in here. because he was different in here. gone was the party-junkie persona, the cocky flirt who winked at girls in the hallways and laughed too loud during roll call. in the studio, with just the two of you, it didn’t seem like he bothered putting on the act. no charm, no smugness, just – jisung.
“so,” you said finally, stretching your legs out in front of you, “love.” he groaned immediately, dropping his head back with a dramatic sigh, “ugh. don’t say it like that.” you smiled softly, “we’re stuck with it. professor taeyong said all forms. that gives us options.”
“right,” he muttered, brushing his bangs out of his face, “options.” you tilted your head to one side, studying him, “have you ever been in love?”
he blinked, surprised you even asked, then he leaned back against his hands, eyes flicking up to the ceiling, like the answer was written up there, “yeah,” he said finally, “once. my ex.”
you nodded, “the one who cheated?” he nodded again, slower this time.
“yikes,” you winced, “that sucks.”
he shrugged, still looking upward, “it was a long time ago, i learned a lot, i guess, but i think…i never stopped feeling kind of dumb about it.” that quiet sat between you again until he broke it, voice gentler, “what about you?” he asked.
you shook your head, “nope. never.”
he didn’t tease. no smirk, no quip. just a thoughtful stare that felt too intimate for someone with a reputation like his, “never even thought you were?,” he asked, voice low.
you let out a small breath, “i think i wanted to be. a few times. but no. i was just bored. or lonely. or trying to convince myself i felt something because i wanted to feel something,” you take a pause, “and now…i don’t really care for it, it’s just…not my priority. besides i have my friends. they’re all the love i really need” you shrug, “just don’t let them hear that,” you smile, almost shy. he nodded slowly, watching you like he was seeing parts of you he’d never thought to look at before. he sat there, chewing his bottom lip for a moment, like he was carefully turning your words over in his head.
“so what now?” he asked, “if we’re both emotionally stunted, how do we do this whole ‘love-dance’ thing?”
you bit your lip, thinking, “well, professor taeyong said any kind of love.”
he nodded, “so…friendship?”
you laughed softly, “we’re barely friends.”
“yeah, but we have…history,” he said, with a careful smile. you didn’t deny it. “what about lust?” he asked next. the word wasn’t dirty the way he said it. it wasn’t heavy or loaded. it was merely just…a suggestion. you raised an eyebrow. he shrugged, mouth tugging into a crooked grin, “it’s familiar. easier to show onstage. i’ve got enough… material, let’s say.”
you fought a laugh, “yeah, i’ve heard.”
he cracked a smile but didn’t push the joke, “but seriously,” he said. “it’s just wanting. that’s it. and we’ve…done that, haven’t we?”
you smiled, nodding, “sure. let’s do lust.”
then he looked at you for a second longer, something unspoken flickering behind his eyes, “have you ever…slept with someone after me?”
you nodded, arms wrapping loosely around your knees, “of course, you weren’t the only one getting busy…but–,” you pause, not entirely sure if you want to open up to him about your failed sex life.
“but?” he asked, his voice a touch quieter. and something about the way he was looking at you – genuinely, earnestly – made you want to say it. you looked down, then back at him, “but… i’ve never really felt strong lust. not the kind people talk about. not the kind that takes over. drowns you…no one’s actually ever made me orgasm,” you added simply. like it was just another fact. like it didn’t need to be sensationalized.
he blinked “seriously?” you nodded, picking at a thread in your leggings, “i’ve faked it before. it’s not that hard. guys don’t really notice.”
his brows furrowed, not in judgment, more like guilt, “you faked it that night too, huh?”
you gave him a look, “obviously.”
he let out a breath, half-laughing, “damn. my ego’s never recovering”
“i mean,” you giggled, “you were sweet. nervous. a little shaky. but you weren’t that bad.”
he gave a low groan and covered his face with his hands “i was trying so hard,” he groaned, “you have no idea, i was ready to bust as soon as i saw your tits,” he confessed, earning another genuine laugh from you. you both smiled fondly at the memory. like it was a part of growing up. a little embarrassing. a little special. clumsy. human. and for a second, it felt like nothing had changed. two awkward kids. a quiet pact. a memory neither of you could shake. “we were so awkward,” he said.
“we still are,” you grinned. he didn’t try to touch you. didn’t slide closer. just kept sitting there, meeting you where you were. you hadn’t seen this side of him in so long — maybe ever. no armor, no performance. just jisung. honest. a little tired. a little bruised. but real. and weirdly, that felt like trust. you sat in the stillness a while longer. then stood, brushing your hands on your thighs, “come on, jisung. let’s figure out how to make lust look believable.”
he got up too, stretching his arms overhead, “cherry,” he said, teasing but gentle, “if anyone can sell it, it’s you.” but his voice held none of the usual flirt. none of the bite. just quiet admiration, and something maybe like respect — the music played low. something slow, a little sensual. you and jisung stood across from each other, bodies reflected in the mirrors lining the wall. his hoodie was gone, tossed onto the couch. you’d tied your hair up. this wasn’t your first time dancing with him. but this was the first time dancing like this. you stepped forward first, foot gliding into a slow drag as you raised your arms overhead. a quiet build in the music swelled beneath you and jisung moved in response — mirroring, but not copying. more like answering. like you were in a conversation neither of you had the words for yet.
“okay,” he murmured, half to himself, “show me what you think lust looks like,” he stepped closer, voice lower now, “make me believe it.” you took a breath, heart thudding. this was just a warm-up. just a way to familiarize yourself with each other. you reached out, fingers brushing against his collarbone. a ghost of a touch. his skin was warm, his breath steady, and he didn’t move away. instead, he stepped forward again, closing the gap. now you could feel it. the heat radiating off of him, the way your arms brushed his chest as you circled him slowly. you didn’t speak. just kept moving. letting the music guide your limbs. your palm found his shoulder. his hand hovered, then gently caught your waist. his fingers weren’t demanding. they were…tentative. careful.
“okay?,” he asked, voice just above a whisper. you nodded, “yeah.” then he twirls you, your back meeting his chest, your breath catching as his arm slid around your middle. you could feel the rise and fall of his chest behind you. the silence between you wasn’t empty anymore. it was dense. buzzing. “closer,” you said, surprising yourself. he obeyed, palm flattening against your stomach, pulling you in just slightly. enough that your hips brushed when you moved together. enough to feel the length of him against your back. you let your head tip back against his shoulder, hair brushing his neck — this wasn’t choreographed. not yet. this was just…trying. feeling. and it was too easy to fall into it. jisung’s voice was low near your ear, his breath sending goosebumps down your spine, “you’re really good at this.”
you smirked, not looking at him, “faking lust?”
“making it not feel fake,” he murmured. you turned in his arms slowly, hand resting against his chest. his skin was flushed from dancing. his hand trailed down your arm. yours drifted across his shoulder. every brush of skin felt heavier than it should. he dipped you, hand on your back to steady you, the contact firm now, more certain. his thumb pressed against your spine and your breath hitched. when you rose again, your faces were close. he blinked slowly, like he was pulling himself out of a trance, “we’re gonna look good on stage,” he whispers against your lips. “yeah,” you replied, taking a step back and out of his arms. you looked at him, pulse high in your throat. his gaze dropped to your lips for half a second, then back to your eyes. the music faded. the room felt colder without movement — without him that close. he cleared his throat, walking to his bag and reaching for his water bottle, rubbing the back of his neck like he needed a moment. you grabbed your phone, pretending to check something. neither of you said it out loud. but the tension had lingered. and you both felt it.
🍒 DAY 6 OF THE BET - UR FAULT BTW.
the door clicked shut behind you, sealing you both in the quiet that had become familiar all too quickly. this studio, this hour — another thing that belonged to the two of you now. it’s been three continuous days of night rehearsals with jisung. he was already stretching at the center of the room. the lights were dim, casting both your reflections in the mirror like ghosts. he caught your eye in the mirror and smirked, “alright, cherry,” he said, voice lazy, teasing, “let’s start.” you didn’t answer. you didn’t need to. you walked toward the speaker, hit play, and the slow, sultry beat began to fill the space. without hesitation, you let the music pull you under. a glide of your hip, a slow turn of your neck, your body moved with a rhythm that felt like second nature now. by the time you turned, jisung was already moving with you. he didn’t need a cue. he didn’t need a count-in. he just knew. falling into the dance like he’d been dancing with you for years. you met in the middle, your palms brushing as you passed, his breath warm when your faces crossed paths. then he caught your hand, strong and assured, and spun you cleanly into him. you landed chest to chest, close enough to feel the heat radiating off him. his hand wrapped around your waist. it slid just slightly lower. you moved together in sync, every breath shared, every glance held just a little too long. the tension had been building for nights now, the kind that settled in the space between touches. accidental brushes that didn’t feel so accidental. stares that lingered long after the choreography stopped — tonight, it was boiling over. your hands curled into his shoulders and without thinking, without asking, you jumped. he caught you instinctively, hands sliding down to support your thighs as your legs wrapped around his waist. he stumbled slightly, the contact jarring, electric, and before you could register it, your back hit the mirror. his hips pressed between your legs, firm and there. the breath left both your lungs. his forehead dropped to yours. your hands found his jaw, holding him steady, and for a long second, neither of you moved. just heartbeats. just breathing. just his eyes dropping slowly, deliberately to your mouth.
you finally did both of you a favor — you kissed him. his lips responded immediately. it was nothing like your first. this was all heat and friction and days, maybe years, of tension exploding at once. his mouth moved fast, hungry, messy. he kissed you like he wanted to ruin you. you bit his bottom lip. he cursed under his breath, hands squeezing your thighs, pulling you tighter. your hips rolled into him. his answer was instinct. thrusting back. the friction made you moan. made him kiss you harder, swallowing the sound. he kissed down your jaw, then your neck, each brush of his lips messier, wetter than the last. one of his hands dragged higher and higher and in one swift motion he yanked your tank top down. your nipples hardening in the cool air and jisung wasted no time.
“fuck–,” you gasped as he latched onto your nipple, his strong arms holding you up higher as he sucked hard — lips hot, tongue flicking over the sensitive bud before sealing around it with a deep, lewd pull. the pressure sending heat shooting through your stomach. he groaned into your skin, shifting to the other breast with a noise that sounded too close to desperation. he tongued your nipple again and again, alternating slow licks with firm sucks that made your spine arch into him. “jisung–,” he hummed in approval, the vibration traveling straight to you.
“god, cherry, your tits are fucking perfect,” he praised, lips wet and breath hot against your chest, “didn’t even know what to do with these back then–” he licked, swirled, sucked, “but i do now.”your fingernails dug into his shoulders. he kissed lower, then back up, nipping lightly before pulling your nipple into his mouth again, sucking harder this time, drawing a loud moan from you. you were sure there were red marks all over your breasts in the shape of his lips. “jisung–fuck, please–,” you didn’t even know what you were begging for.
“look at you, cherry,” he murmured, “so fucking responsive. so sensitive right here,” he grinned against your nipple. you barely noticed him moving to the forgotten couch in the corner. but the moment you hit the cushions, he was on top of you, lips crashing onto yours. his hands didn’t hesitate now, they were confident, hot, everywhere, your tank bunched uselessly around your armpits. your chest was flushed, already marked red, your nipples glistening from his mouth. he looked down at you like he couldn’t believe you were real. then he leaned down again.
“can’t believe i used to be scared to touch you,” he murmured against your skin, giving both your breasts the same worship – nipping, sucking, licking, pressing his tongue flat over your nipples, then flicking them back and forth in tight circles that made your stomach curl you swore you were about to learn that you could cum just from it. he sucked each one until they were tender and puffy and every brush of his tongue made you gasp, “now i don’t think i’ll ever stop.” you were breathless, your legs wrapped around him, hands fisting his shirt, hips starting to rock against his and then—
knock. knock. knock.
you both froze. his mouth still latched on one of your nipple, a hand frozen beneath your waistband. “sorry to interrupt!,” a cheerful voice called from behind the door, “just the janitor! it’s five minutes past lock up and i gotta mop!” you stared at jisung. he blinked at you. and then you both burst out laughing. he collapsed half on top of you, chest shaking with laugher, forehead pressed to your sternum.
“of course this would happen,” he muttered, voice muffled by your boobs. you were still laughing and he watched the way your eyes crinkled. the way the light reflected stars off of your eyes. “i think we should add this to our choreography,” he mutters, still in between your breasts.
“you’re insane,” you say in between your laughter as you push him off of you, a little too hard. he landed on the floor with a loud thud, both of your eyes widening before you break into laughter again. you catch your reflection in the mirror – half exposed, hair wild, marked-up, flushed.
“jeez, park, i’m gonna need a scarf tomorrow,” you say, fingers ghosting over the marks that were starting to bloom all over your chest. he smirks, looking way too proud of himself, before slotting himself in between your legs. he gently, carefully, pulls your tank top back up, his fingers ghosting over your shoulders, your nipples still tingling, “it’s not my fault your tits look too fucking good,” he says before kissing you again, slower this time.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
it’s way past your bedtime. your room was quiet. too quiet. the kind that makes you overthink. rewind. replay. you lay back on your pillow, eyes closed, your t-shirt brushing over still-sensitive skin. your thighs pressed together without meaning to. your lips still tingled from his mouth. your neck still wore the ghost of his teeth. and then your phone buzzed.
jisung: *sent a video* (author’s note: 18+ ONLY)
you opened it without thinking. then immediately sat up. holy shit. he was in those damn grey joggers, hanging dangerously loose around his hips. no shirt. just a black hoodie unzipped and hanging open, the sleeves pulled halfway up his forearms. his abs were sharp under the soft light of his bedroom, and then—like he knew exactly what he was doing—he dragged the joggers down. his cock slapped up into frame, already hard. thick. heavy. veins prominent. you couldn’t see his face, but you didn’t need to. you knew the look he had on. that cocky, infuriating smirk that made your pulse skip.
jisung: can’t sleep. too hard. ur fault btw
you dropped your phone on your chest with a choked laughed, heat rushing down your spine. you were just telling him how you hadn’t experienced lust that makes you drown. and now you’re thinking you spoke way too fucking soon. you were supposed to be in control. you were supposed to be the one pulling strings, making him squirm—after all, this was just a bet. but now your thighs were pressed together, breath uneven, skin flushed and aching and you were the one spiraling. you stared at your ceiling, tried to think of anything not related to his cock, or his hands, or the way his tongue circled your nipple like it was fucking dessert. but your fingers were already twitching. and your memory was already playing tricks. maybe this was dangerous. maybe you were getting in too deep. but fuck it. you might as well have some fun while you’re at it. your phone buzzed again.
jisung: u there? did i kill u?
cherry: park. what the fuck?
jisung: u like it? u miss me?
cherry: go to sleep.
jisung: can’t. still thinking about ur tits. and ur hands in my hair. and the way u said my name. the way u arched into me.
jisung: help me my sweet cherry
jisung: please? 🥺🥺
your breath hitched. you bit your lip so hard it stung. your body was already moving before you could talk yourself out of it. you tugged your shirt off before you could second guess yourself. hit record. the camera was angled just right—only your chest in frame. you laid back, letting the light catch on the fresh marks he left behind. hickeys. faint bruises. the aftermath of his mouth. you squeezed them softly, your thumb flicking over your nipples, letting out a quiet moan just for him. then you hit send before you can trip yourself out.
cherry: *sent a video*
your heart was pounding, stomach doing somersaults. you threw your phone beside you like it burned and dragged the comforter over your legs, trying to calm down.
*11 minutes later*
jisung: fuck ur so hot
jisung: *sent an image*
you clicked. and groaned. he was on his bed now, hand still around his cock. his black hoodie was bunched up around his elbows. cum streaked up his abs and soaked into his sweatpants. his hips were still lifted slightly off the bed like he’d just finished. the angle was brutal. intimate. messy. you bit down a whimper as your hand slipped beneath your underwear. heat flooded your cheeks, your chest, down between your legs, your skin prickling with need. your fingers moved slowly at first, hesitant, shaky. but the ache pulsing through your core demanded more. and then the memory played vividly. his body, all heat and tension, pressing into yours like he couldn’t bear even a millimeter of space between you. his hips grinding just enough to tease, not enough to satisfy. the music playing in the background, the rasp of his breath, the soft groan he let out when your hand slid into his hair. the way his mouth moved around your sensitive nipples. your thighs had been slick then, just from the friction. from the way he moved against you. from the pressure building and building with nowhere to go. his fingers had curled into your waistband like he was trying to decide whether to ruin you right there or keep teasing you. you pressed your legs wider now, helpless against the memory, two fingers circling where you were already wet and throbbing. you let your other hand drift up to your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple, already so sensitive from earlier. every inch of you was burning — your phone buzzed again beside you.
jisung: don’t hate me if i can’t control myself around u tomorrow night
jisung: let me suck on ur tits again 😛
you let out a soft gasp, hips lifting into your own touch. the words slammed into you like another wave. this is a stupid bet. but now you were touching yourself at midnight with your heart racing and his voice in your head like a fucking ghost. you swallowed hard, catching your breath, hand sticky, thighs trembling — this was a game. just a stupid, reckless game. and you might as well play it properly.
cherry: only if u behave.
jisung: no promises, cherry.
your lips curled into a smile as you typed your final message, still breathless.
cherry: goodnight, dream of me ;)
jisung: already did
jisung: and tomorrow, it won’t be just a dream 😏
your thighs clenched at his words. you set your phone down slowly, pulse still racing as your back arched, head tipping against the pillow, fingers slipping faster, circling, stroking, dipping in just enough to keep you right on the edge. you let your other hand glide over your chest again, catching on your nipple, rolling it between your fingers the way he did, until your breath hitched, sharp and shaky. the image of him was seared into your brain now. jisung, shirtless in low light, his abs tensed, cum streaking his skin, the mess he made for you. you whimpered, legs trembling. your fingers curled and pressed just right, slick, practiced, desperate, and it hit you fast. hard. blinding. your body locked for a moment as the orgasm ripped through you. a low moan slipped from your lips as your thighs squeezed around your hand. his name echoing inside your skull — jisung. jisung. jisung.
🍒 DAY 7 OF THE BET - THE REMATCH.
you stepped into class wrapped in layers. a hoodie zipped up to your chin. another jacket thrown over it. a scarf around your neck even though it was barely cold enough to justify it. your cargo pants were the only part of your outfit not screaming i’m hiding something. karina blinked when she saw you. then frowned. then slowly cocked her head to the side like a cat who just caught a mouse faking it’s death, “why is your jacket zipped up that high?”
you waved her off, “no reason. i’m cold.”
“in the middle of a packed dance studio?,” she says, voice filled with judgment. you didn’t answer. you looked everywhere but her. which only made it worse. she narrowed her eyes, piecing the pieces together, “wait a damn minute–” you groaned but before you could say another lie, she grabbed your sleeve and yanked you into the corner where no one else was paying attention. then, without warning, she tugged your zipper halfway down, “karina–!”her eyes immediately went wide. your chest was littered with reddish-purple bruises, peeking over the edge of your bra, all the way up to your neck, it was almost like constellations in the sky, “oh my god.” you shoved her hands away, zipping up frantically. “you’re a fucking freak,” she whispered, eyes huge with delighted horror, “those are hickeys. so many hickeys.”
“keep your voice down!,” you hissed, tugging your scarf back up over your throat. karina just stared, speechless for once. then she looked you up and down again, like she was recalibrating. then she groaned, dragging a hand down her face, “fuck. am i gonna lose $125?”
you patted her shoulder, smug, “you shouldn’t have been so confident.” just then, the door swung open behind you and in walked jisung. nonchalant. hoodie slung over one shoulder. hair still a little damp like he’d just showered and didn’t bother drying it properly. that stupid smug walk like he wasn’t just sucking on your boobs and sending you a thirst trap less than twelve hours ago. he greeted a few people, bumped fists with someone from the back corner, smiled at a couple of girls and plopped down in his chair. you didn’t even mean to look at him. but you felt his eyes on you before you turned and sure enough — there it was. that cocky little smirk. his eyes dipped, just for a split second, to your fully zipped hoodie. then he gave you the most infuriatingly pleased expression you’ve ever seen. his tongue poking his cheek. you turned away immediately, face warm. “yup,” karina muttered beside you, “i’m gonna be broke by new year’s.”
⊹ ࣪ ˖
you barely had time to step in and close the door before you were spun around and pinned – not roughly, but with purpose. the mirror behind you cooled your back, a sharp contrast to the body suddenly flush against yours. jisung. one arm braced the wall behind your head, his other hand cupping the back of your skull so you wouldn’t hit the glass too hard. he kissed you hard, nothing tentative about it, like he’d been holding it in all day. “jisung–,” you gasped between breaths, but he was already unzipping your jacket and lowering his mouth to your neck. he hushed you, breath hot, “can’t risk the janitor walking in again.” the reminder sent heat straight down your spine. you felt his teeth graze just below your ear and your fingers tightened in the hem of his hoodie. his lips were relentless, moving down your jaw, your throat, marking up every spot of skin that he missed last night.
“you’re not even gonna pretend to rehearse?,” you murmured but your voice was shakier than you’d liked. “this is rehearsing,” he answered, smirking into your collarbone. you meant to say stop. you should’ve said stop. but your hands had already found their way under his shirt. his breath stuttered when your cool palms touched his skin. smooth, warm, muscles jumping slightly beneath your fingertips. he hasn’t felt this magnetic thrill in a long time. not since he learned how to sleep with girl after girl like it was putting on underwear. but there’s something about you. he can’t explain it. and maybe there doesn’t need to be an explanation for everything. you simply just pull him in again and again.
“i couldn’t focus all day,” he admitted, “kept thinking about…this.” his mouth ghosted over the same spots he marked last time, kissing each one. you tipped your head back, your fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt. he pulls it off quickly then unzipped your jacket all the way, letting it fall to the floor, leaving you in your black bra. he turned you around slowly, firmly, both hands gripping your waist as you settled in his arms, facing the mirror. the only thing that mattered now was the reflection in front of you — flushed skin, hungry eyes, and the man behind you who looked at you like he was about to ruin you, “i’m gonna make up for freshman year,” he said, voice low, mouth still pressing kisses to your neck. you blinked, already feeling dizzy, “are you now?”
“mmhm,” he reached behind your back and unhooked your bra with one hand, like muscle memory, then slid the straps off your shoulders and let it fall. the moment it hit the floor, his hands were on you, large, warm palms cupping your bare breasts, lifting them slightly like he was weighing them in his hands. you gasped, head rolling back against his shoulder. “look at you,” he murmured, but he wasn’t looking at your body. he was looking at your face in the mirror. watching your mouth fall open, your brows twitch, your body arch helplessly under his touch. then his fingers moved. he pinched your nipples slowly at first, deliberate and teasing, rolling them between his fingers, watching intently as your mouth parted and your thighs clenched. his thumbs swiped across the sensitive peaks, back and forth in tight circles until your breath hitched and your thighs squeezed together. “so pretty,” he smirked, tweaking them harder, dragging out a strangled whimper from your throat.
“—feels so good jisung,” you breathe, your hands flying to grip his hips. he kept playing with you like he had all the time in the world, alternating between gentle pressure and sharp, precise pinches that sent sparks straight to your core.
“you like that?” he murmured, tongue darting out to lick the shell of your ear, “these pretty tits… so fucking responsive.” you were panting, chest heaving, nipples aching under his relentless fingers. he twisted them again, and your knees buckled slightly. “gonna make sure you orgasm tonight,” his deep voice makes your thighs twitch but you refuse to give in that easily. you raise a brow, “aren’t you ambitious?”
he smirked against your neck, and before you could say anything else, he picks you up like you weighed absolutely nothing, and sits you on the couch. then he knelt on the floor, between your legs like he belonged there, fingers gripping the waistband of your cargo pants “these,” he muttered, dragging the fabric down your legs with one rough pull, your underwear along with it, “have been in my fucking way since you walked in.” he tosses them to the side, leaving you completely bare for him, the mirrors all around you making you feel a little self conscious. but before you could dwell on it, he ran his palms up your thigh, large hands covering half of your skin, slow and reverent, before spreading them apart with gentle pressure. the room felt suffocatingly hot, your skin flushed, your breath uneven. he paused, right there – his mouth hovering just shy of your center, teasing you with his breath. then he looked up at you, voice low, eyes locked on yours, “tell me how you like it,” he said, fingers gripping your thighs, “because i’m not stopping until i make you come.”
the words hit you harder than they should’ve. like a promise. like a challenge. like he doesn’t matter if it takes the janitor walking into this. you nod, trying to hold yourself together. jisung tilted his head, lips twitching in a smirk then his mouth found you slowly, carefully, like he meant it. like every second of contact mattered, tongue licking a slow stripe up your core before settling into a steady rhythm. no one has ever taken their time with you like this. your back hit the cushion with a whimpered sigh. “don’t fake anything with me,” he murmured, his breath hot against your skin, “i’ll know. i want it real.” you tried to bite back your moan, but it slipped out anyway, raw, needy, “i’m not–,” your voice cracked as his tongue continued to swirl around your clit, “i don’t…i couldn’t fake this if i tried.”
his mouth paused just long enough for his next words to hit hard. “then watch yourself. i want you to see what i’m doing to you. see how your body reacts when someone finally gives a damn about your pleasure.” — the mirrors. wide and unforgiving, reflecting the wrecked mess of you bare, flushed, legs spread apart with jisung kneeling between them. and then he slipped a finger inside you. your breath hitched sharply, your thighs twitching as he worked it in slowly, deeply, curling it just enough to make your back arch, “fuck—jisung—”
“you’re so tight,” he groaned, eyes flicking up to make sure you were still watching, “look at what i’m doing to you.” he curled his fingers again, just right, hitting a spot inside you that made your hips jerk and your mouth fall open in a whine. “do you like this?” he said again, voice deep. “yes—fuck—just like that,” you panted, head tipping back, then forward again as he added a second finger, pushing in deeper, “ohh, right there jisung—please don’t stop—please.” he didn’t. he didn’t speed up or slow down. he kept it right there, just the way you liked it, hitting that spot that kept your toes curling and your moans increasing with every second. then he added his mouth again, tongue flicking against your clit while his fingers continued to move in that same torturous rhythm – slow at first. then deeper. faster. repeat. until your thighs tremble around him, “you’re shaking,” he murmured, voice thick, “you’re close, aren’t you cherry?”
“yeah,” you breathe, staring helplessly into the mirror, “so fucking close. no one’s ever—jisung–fuck,” you can’t even form a proper sentence anymore. the tension in your stomach ready to break at any moment. your fingers knotted in his hair as continued to move his mouth and his fingers. driving you closer and closer until you couldn’t keep your voice down, couldn’t pretend you had any control left. “i–i cant–,” your whole body was shaking, voice breaking into pieces.
“yes you can,” he commands, “you’re gonna come for me. right now. while you watch.” your eyes flicked up again, and in the mirror you saw it all. the way your chest rose and fell in shallow gasps. the way his shoulders flexed as he moved against you. the way your head tilted back as he worked you open like you were the only thing that mattered. and just as you were about to shut your eyes, his free hand slid up, and two of his fingers pressed against your lips. “suck,” he grunts. you didn’t hesitate. you parted your lips, letting his fingers slide in, your mouth wrapping around them. he groaned at the sight — at you moaning around him. his pace never wavering.
he leaned in, body close enough to steal your breath, “now look at how fucking sexy you are when you come,” you willed your eyes to keep open until you couldn’t, helpless moans vibrating around his fingers as your release slammed into you —harder than anything before. your body arched, shaking as you came around his hand and tongue, thighs closing in around his head until he had to hold them open, gripping your thighs like he’d never let go, every muscle locking up as your cry filled the night air. he felt it all. the way you clenched. the way your body trembled like it couldn’t handle it. and he kept going through every wave until you were gasping, body limp, completely unraveled.
when he finally pulled back, his lips were wet, his fingers glistening with your slick, looking proud and satisfied. you were breathless, dazed, eyes half-lidded as you finally looked at him again. he kissed your knee, your thigh, then your lips, “taste that?,” he whispered against your mouth, his tongue dragging against yours, “that’s all you,” your body still felt like it was floating as he pushed you down against the couch, his frame hovering over yours, “and i’m not done.”
you were limp beneath him, thighs trembling, skin flushed, pulse pounding your ears, “i can’t wait anymore,” he rasped, voice wrecked, almost angry with restraint, “i’ve been hard since the moment you walked into the studio,” he rocked his hips forward, letting you feel the full weight of him pressing against your thigh. you reached down your bodies, pushing his sweats off, his large cock bouncing up like that night in freshman year, “i’m not that boy anymore,” he said suddenly like he’d read your mind, “i’m not gonna fuck this up.” you wrapped your hand around him and his breath caught instantly. he was so thick. so hard. so hot it pulsed in your palm, “i know you’re not,” you whispered, “so do it.”
he lined himself up, rubbing his tip through your slick folds, teasing, testing, and your hips arched up toward him, desperate, “wait,” he said, breath hitching, “do you have…?”
you shook your head, breathless, “are you clean?”
he nods his head, “yes, i’m clean.”
your thighs clenched tighter around his waist, “then fuck me already.”
he didn’t hesitate. but instead of pushing in right away, he paused and then his voice dropped, “turn over.”
your heart stuttered, “what?”
“i want you to watch while i fuck you,” he growled. before you could even react, he grabbed your hip and flipped you over. your chest pressing to the couch, knees sinking into the cushions. you gasped, breath caught in your throat, as he reached down, grabbed your ass and spread you open. the mirrors around you caught everything — your surprised gaze, your parted lips, his hungry eyes. then he pushed in. slow, deep, stretching you inch by inch, and it was nothing like the first time. no awkward fumbling, no nervous apologies. just heat and pressure that made your back arch and a breathless moan claw out of your throat, “holy fuck,” you gasped, bracing yourself as your fingers dug into the cushions, “did you–jesus, jisung did you get bigger?” — that pulled a groan from deep in his chest, primal and low, a filthy sound that went straight to you, “you remember how i felt?,” he asked, voice strained, still sliding in, dragging out your torment, “because i haven’t stopped thinking about what you felt like since then.”
“y-yeah,” you gasped, clawing at his thigh, “but you didn’t feel like this—you didn’t feel this—big.” his hips stilled halfway inside, then he grabbed your hair in one hand and yanked your head up until your gaze met his in the mirror, his mouth crashing to your temple in a hot, open-mouthed kiss, “that’s because i didn’t know what i was doing back then,” then he slammed the rest of the way in with one rough thrust that tore a moan from you, so loud it didn’t even sound like you, “now i do.”
he filled you completely, stretching you in a way that made your knees tremble beneath you. you could barely breathe, “fuck,” you whispered, “i didn’t know you could get this deep.” he didn’t move right away. not yet. he just let you feel it – how thick he was, how every twitch made your walls clench around him. one hand gripping your hip hard, the other still tangled in your hair, keeping your gaze locked in the mirror. he lets out a soft laugh, “i’ve been dreaming about a rematch for two fucking years,” he said through gritted teeth. then he pulled out almost entirely, pushed you back down and slammed back in, sharp and brutal. you screamed. he was in so deep you swore you saw stars. your back arched off, body locking up as he started to move, his pace steady but deep, brutal, like he wanted to ruin you from the inside out, “holy—jisung—,” you panted, “you feel s-so full.” each thrust dragged a broken sound from your throat. your body trying to adjust and failing —because every time he pushed back in, it was like your body had to learn him all over again. “you’re so fucking tight,” he growled out, thrusts growing faster now, his fingers bruising into your hips, “do you feel that, cherry? you’re fucking gripping me,” you nodded, dazed, unable to speak. your arms shook with the effort of holding yourself up. every thrust knocked the air from your lungs, every snap of his hips pushed you further and further to the edge.
“gonna make you come again,” he panted, sweat dripping down his temple, “wanna feel you fall apart all over me.” his pace was relentless now. deep. dirty. loud. the sound of skin slapping and obscene sounds from the both of you echoing around the studio. your body couldn’t stop clenching around him, tight, warm, wet, and every thrust hit just right, “im not stopping,” he growled, “not until i make you forget every second of freshman year.”
“you already did,” you moaned. “jisung—fuck—i’m close again—,” his hand slipped between your thighs, fingers circling your clit in quick, perfect strokes, matching the way his cock pounded into you from behind. “come for me,” he said, voice frayed and guttural, “come while i’m inside you. let me feel it.” — and you did. it hit you like a lightning strike, your body tightening around him, toes curling, vision completely blurring, a scream tearing out of you as your orgasm tore through your entire body. you clenched around him hard, shaking, crying, falling apart with your forehead pressed against the couch. jisung’s groan was primal but he didn't stop. he kept thrusting, still fucking you through every wave, prolonging your high, making you sob his name over and over. “fuck—i’m gonna come,” he says, his thrusts getting messier and messier, “cherry–i’m–fuck–”
you reached back blindly, pushing at his abs, your voice raw, you wanted to taste him, wanted to feel him around your lips, “pull out.” he barely managed to obey, pulling out with a deep, shuddering moan, his cock flushed and twitching, soaked in both of you. before he could pump himself to finish, you spun around and wrapped your lips around him. his enitre body jolted, “oh—holy shit—,” his hand flew to your hair, eyes shutting in bliss as you sucked him deep, sloppy and perfect. your hand stroking what your mouth couldn’t reach. you tasted yourself on him and moaned around his cock, sucking harder, faster. he didn’t last. not after everything. “i’m—fuck—i’m gonna—,” he came with a cry, hips twitching as he spilled on your tongue, hot and thick. you swallowed it all, not breaking eye contact, until he finally sagged into the couch, pulling you into his arms. then, softly, through the haze of sweat and warmth, he laughed, “holy fuck,” he murmured, dragging a hand down his face, ”that was…”
you glanced over at him, still breathless, “yeah.” he turned his head toward you slowly, eyes heavy and warm, a proud smirk on his lips, “i told you round two would blow your mind.” you smiled, still trying to catch your breath, as your giggles filled his ears like music, “you really really did,” you share a smile until– knock. knock. knock. you both froze. another knock. this time louder. then a very tired voice, “are you two finished? it’s past 15 minutes of lock up.” your eyes widened in horror, “oh my god—” you hissed, scrambling upright, limbs like jelly, “the janitor.” jisung blinked, then burst into a laugh, dragging his shirt on, still breathless, “i completely forgot he existed.”
you stood up, way too fast, and immediately stumbled. your legs gave out beneath you, rubbery and useless. “whoa—” jisung caught you, arms around your waist in an instant, steadying you, “careful.” you shot him a glare, cheeks burning. he just smirked, looking way too proud of himself.“can’t walk straight already?” he teased, voice low, “should’ve warned you i was gonna break you tonight.” you swatted his chest, face flushed, but didn’t bother denying it. you could still feel him. you yanked on your clothes with shaking fingers, jacket barely zipped, hair a mess, and followed jisung as he opened the door.
the janitor stood just outside, arms crossed, mop in hand, expression unimpressed. you kept your eyes glued to the floor as you passed him, “i’m so sorry,” you muttered, barely audible. he just sighed and waved a hand, “college kids,” he muttered, “i don’t get paid enough for this.” you wanted to die. but when jisung’s hand found yours briefly, squeezing it in the hallway and whispering, “worth it,” in your ear, you couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips. because yeah. it really, really was.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
outside, the air was sharp and cool against your flushed skin. the sky had that deep, velvety black that only came after midnight, and the campus was nearly silent, save for the hum of the occasional streetlamp. jisung walked beside you, hands tucked into his hoodie pockets, glancing at you every few steps like he wasn’t sure if he should say something or not. he waited until you crossed the street, until the night wrapped fully around you both like a secret, before he finally spoke again, “cherry,” he said, voice a little quieter now, “i hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
you glanced over, raised a brow, “hmm?”
he hesitated, “i’m… not looking for a relationship.”there was a pause. a heavy one. he was bracing for it. your face to fall, your voice to rise. the same thing that always happened after every hookup. every girl. except, unlike all the other girls, jisung actually enjoyed your presence. this friendship that wasn’t quite a friendship. he thinks he’ll be a little sad if you get angry. still, he was waiting for it. he’d heard it in different ways: “you’re such a dick.” “so you just used me?” “was this a game to you?”
he’d memorized every version. but then — you laughed. not a bitter one. not mocking. just light, genuine, almost amused. “yeah,” you said, shaking your head, “i know.”
he blinked, “you—what?” you looked over at him, hands stuffed into your own pockets, your voice teasing, “i wasn’t expecting a relationship from the school’s number one fuckboy. you don’t have to worry.” — another pause. longer this time. you weren’t mad. you weren’t heartbroken. you weren’t even disappointed. you were just… honest. and maybe a little dangerous for it. jisung didn’t answer right away. he stared straight ahead, jaw tight, processing that. all the girls before had wanted something. even if they’d said they didn’t. they’d always tried to mean more. push past what he could give. but you? you weren’t asking for anything. and somehow, that made you feel more real than anyone else he’d ever touched. in his head, the decision was final – this girl. you. his cherry. you were perfect. if he had to date someone just to get the boys off his ass about being a “cold-hearted fuckboy,” he thought it’d be you. no drama. no bullshit. you get it. you get him. you always have.
“still walking me home?” you asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“it’s too late for any woman to walk alone,” he said easily, nodding, “i may be a dick, but i’m not that much of a dick.”
🍒 DAY 8 OF THE BET - BE MY GIRLFRIEND.
jisung hates liars. you can call him cruel, heartless, toxic but he draws the line at lying. he’d been lied to once, brutally, gut-wrenchingly, and it had been enough to last a lifetime. promises of forever. of waiting. of purity. all shattered when he saw his highschool sweetheart tangled up with someone else. since then, he didn’t lie. he omitted. he deflected. he joked. but he didn’t lie. — so when he decided you were the perfect girl to play his girlfriend, not for real love, not for real feelings, but to shut everyone up. he wasn’t going to lie to you about it. not even a little. last night had changed things. not in the way people meant. not hearts and roses and dumb love songs. last night something clicked. you got him. you weren’t clingy or emotional or accusatory. you didn’t read too much into his silence or expect to fix himself overnight. you laughed when other girls would’ve cried.
finally, during water break, when the others were too tired to care, he stood up, walked across the studio and grabbed your wrist. “i–jisung–what–,” you sputtered, nearly tripping over your bottle as he pulled you out of the room. karina’s wide-eyed stare was the last thing you caught before the door slammed shut behind you. he didn’t stop walking until you were outside, behind the building, tucked into the edge of campus where the lights didn’t quite reach. secluded. quiet. he dropped your wrist. then he looked at you, “i have a favor to ask,” he whispered, like it was some sort of secret.
you looked up, a little breathless, “sounds dangerous…what is it?” jisung rubbed his palms on his sweats, a little nervous, which annoyed him and then said, bluntly, “will you be my girlfriend?”
you stared at him, pretending to process it. letting the silence stretch, even though your answer was already cemented in your mind the second he said those words. he looked so serious. like this was some great moral weight. but he didn’t know about the whispered conversation with your friends. the bet. this wasn’t a decision. this was a win. you tilted your head, played innocent, let your eyes soften just enough, “i thought you weren’t looking for a relationship?”
“i’m not,” jisung said, like it should have been obvious, “not really. not like–,” he cut himself off, pacing once, realizing how ridiculous it sounded now that he’s asked, before facing you again, “i just need to sell it. make it look real. the guys think i’m spiraling. they had a literal intervention. i need them off my back.”
you feigned hesitation, “so what, you want to fake date me?”
“no,” he said immediately, voice firm, “no, that won’t work. chenle already did the whole fake dating thing with his girl. the guy’s will smell it from a mile away,” he exhaled, shoving his hands into his pockets, “i need it to be real.”
you blinked, “real?”
“as in–,” he looked away, swallowing, “we date exclusively. in public. you stay the night. i walk you to class. we kiss and have sex even when no one’s watching. we act like we’re in love.”
you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling, “let me get this straight,” you said, voice light, “you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend, but like, not pretend at all?” he nodded. dead serious. you raised a brow, “and what’s in it for me?”
that cocky little grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, the one that made girls swoon and your friends groan, “i’m pretty sure i gave you the best orgasm of your life last night,” he said inching closer, “be my girlfriend, cherry. i’ll make sure you get more of those. as many as you want.”
and there it was – the perfect hook. you let yourself smile this time. sweet. dangerous. like a girl who had no idea what she was doing. but you did. you knew exactly what you were doing. “alright,” you said softly, “let’s do it.”
his eyes flickered – surprise first, then something like gratitude. you added, teasingly, “but i’m not calling you a stupid nickname.” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. a small, boyish gesture that made something twinge in your chest before you could shove it away. because he really had no idea. no idea that the girl agreeing to this deal had a scoreboard in her head and a ticking clock to match. it wasn’t love. not yet. but if you had anything to do with it, it would be.
by new years, park jisung would fall for you. and when he does – you win.
you and jisung stood just outside the classroom door, his hand wrapped around yours. neither of you said anything. you didn’t need to. the second he squeezed your hand slightly, you understood. sell it. so you stepped back in, fingers laced. and just like you expected, the room went dead quiet. karina froze mid-sip from her water bottle. sion nearly dropped his phone. even professor taeyong raised an eyebrow but said nothing, merely adjusting his clipboard with a knowing glance. jisung didn’t let go. all he did was turn towards you, making sure every eye was still watching. then, with that same casual boldness that had driven all the girls insane, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your lips. not rushed. not forced. just solid. real. then he stepped back, a little smug, a little breathless and shot you a wink before strolling to the other side of the room like he didn’t just drop a bomb on the entire class. you turned, trying not to laugh at the dozen dropped jaws around you. karina mouthed what the fuck from across the mirrors. you just gave her a small, innocent shrug. like oops, i guess i really am that good.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
when jisung walked through the door, the dream house was too quiet. he knew something was off before he even saw them. all six of them were in the living room, spread out like they’d been waiting for hours. no music. no snacks — just mark, arms folded like a disappointed older brother. renjun, sitting with his legs crossed on the couch, like he was at some important business meeting. haechan standing, arms crossed, weight shifting like he was barely holding back. jeno on the armrest, unreadable. jamin leaning forward, elbows on his knees, eyes sharp. and chenle, uncharacteristically quiet, by the wall.
“...did someone die?.” jisung asked slowly. mark didn’t answer. just nodded toward the armchair, “sit.”
jisung gave a half-hearted chuckle, “what is this, another intervention?”
“don’t play dumb,” haechan said flatly, “word gets around fast.”
renjun tilted his head, “so…you have a girlfriend now? just like that?”
jisung didn’t flinch, “yeah. she’s my girlfriend.”
chenle’s eyebrows lifted, “if this whole thing is fake, i’ll have you know, i know the signs.”
jisung rolled his eyes, “we’re not fake dating…what? you think i’d recycle your trope?”
chenle opened his mouth to reply but haechan cut in sharply, “if you’re lying about this just to get us off your back–”
“i’m not.” jisung said. clear and final. mark leaned forward, voice level but stern, “we just had a serious conversation with you a week ago. you expect us to believe you’re suddenly healed and in love?”
“no,” jisung said, “i’m not in love. but i like her.”
jeno’s voice cut through, calm but laced with worry, “so why her? why now?”
jisung ran a hand through his hair. the easy answers were there. his usual lines. the charming grin. the shrug-it-off jokes. but he didn’t use them. instead, he met their gazes, one by one, and said, “she’s the only person who’s ever made me feel like i wasn’t completely faking it.” that quieted them for a beat. he kept on going, “she knows who i am. she doesn’t expect anything from me that i can’t give. she lets me breathe.”
there was a beat of quiet. jaemin broke it, “you sure you’re not using her to prove a point?” jisung’s jaw flexed. he knew this was coming. knew that the boys would see right through him. but still, it was annoying, “i’m not using her.”
renjun’s voice was quiet. the kind of quiet that made sure you listened, “you better not be. because if this turns out like every other fling, you’re not just hurting her. you’re setting yourself back again.”
“and you better not be lying to us, jisung,” haechan adds, a little tired, “because at this point? you’d only be lying to yourself.”
jisung inhaled through his nose, “i’m not lying.”
mark studied him, long and careful, “so…she’s gonna be with you at the christmas party tomorrow then?”
“of course,” jisung answered like it was obvious, “she’s my girlfriend. who else is she gonna be with?” — still, none of the boys nodded. none of them smiled. but none of them argued. the silence that followed wasn’t approval. it was conditional trust. the benefit of the doubt. and in the quiet of that moment, jisung realized something — he hadn’t lied. not once.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the studio had gone quiet for the night. the music long stopped, mirrors fogged with the echo of movements that had faded into stillness. you were both flushed from rehearsal, sweat cooling on your skin, muscles pleasantly sore – but the energy between you was far from worn out. you were seated on the couch, twisting the cap back on your water bottle when jisung tugged at your wrist.
“come here,” he said, voice low but playful. you look at him suspiciously, “what?” he pulled again, stronger this time, until you gave in with a dramatic sigh and let him guide you into his lap, your legs sliding on either side of his hips. “jisung–,” you began, but he was already grinning up at you, smug and utterly relaxed with your weight on him.
“i just want you to sit here–” he said, hands sliding to your waist, fingers pressing lightly against your sides like he wasn’t even fully aware of how much he was touching you, “-easier to talk.”
“you’re touchy tonight,” you said, trying to keep your voice even. but your fingers were already curling into his hoodie.
“i’m your boyfriend,” he said with a shrug, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “shouldn’t i be?” you leaned back slightly, bracing your hands on his shoulder, “oh right, the convenient boyfriend,” you smirk.
“exactly,” he smiled, but it was softer now, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles along your lower back, “and since i’m your boyfriend…you have to come to the dream christmas party with me tomorrow night.”
you raised a brow, “have to?”
“yup,” he said without hesitation, “it’s in the fine print.” you gave him a teasing roll of your eyes, “what else is in the fine print?”
he tilted his head, pretending to think, his fingers dipping just under the back of your shirt, “you show up, make me look good, we go upstairs, i make you feel even better…,” he leaned in, breath brushing your lips, “oh and you have to wear something short and sexy,.”
you laughed, unable to help it, “you just want to show me off.”
he smirked, “obviously. you’re hot.”
you leaned in, mouth close to his, “okay, i’ll show up in something short and sexy, what else?”
he tilted his head, eyes flicking between your lips and your eyes, “you stay glued to my side the whole night. no disappearing. you let me be handsy on the dancefloor.”
your breath caught, lips parted, “you’re really committing to this role.”
“i take my relationships very seriously,” he said, voice low, “especially the parts with kissing.” one of his hands rose slowly, sliding up your spine, under your shirt, across bare skin. the other came up to cup your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek, like he needed to anchor you there.
then softer, like a secret, “cherry,” he murmured, “i’m not pretending when i touch you.” the words weren’t cocky. weren’t cheeky. they were honest. quiet, sudden, deep. you opened your mouth, to say what, you weren’t sure, but he kissed you before you could answer. it wasn’t rushed. it wasn’t even lust-heavy…yet. it was slow. real. a little dangerous. your fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie as you kissed him back, letting yourself melt into the press of his lips, the way his hands held you like you were something breakable. then…his hands moved again. slipping under your shirt now, palming your waist, thumbs brushing just under your bra, like he knew exactly what he was doing. your hips shifted, instinctively, helplessly, grinding ever so slightly against his, enough to feel him hard beneath you, heat searing through thin layers of fabric. the tension cracked. his breath caught. his mouth moved faster now, hands gripping harder. he dragged you forward again, grinding you into him. the friction was dizzying. enough to hurt. enough to want more. a low groan vibrated in his throat, swallowed by the heat of your kiss. your fingers fisted in the front of his hoodie, needing something to hold onto as your thighs clenched around him. you weren’t sure if you wanted to push closer or push away, but it didn’t matter. he wasn’t letting you go.
“jisung,” you gasped, pulling back just enough to breathe, your lips swollen, dazed, “we can’t— we can’t keep doing this to the janitor.” he blinked. and then he lost it. full-body laughter exploded out of him, his head tipping back against the couch with a ridiculous grin stretching wide across his face, “god—” he wheezed, still clutching you, “he probably hates us.” you dissolved into laughter too, burying your face in his shoulder, half from embarrassment, half from how insanely turned on you still were, “i think we’re on a hit list,” you said between breaths.
“he’s got a support group,” jisung snorted. you smacked his chest, grinning, “shut up.” he grinned wider, pulling you back by your waist, and this time his mouth landed right beneath your jaw, hot, open, biting softly. you gasped again, “i’m serious.”
“so am i,” his voice was low again, teasing, “i think he cries in his car after.”
“jisung—” he looked up, smug, eyes dark, “yes, my girlfriend?” you hated how hot it was when he said it like that—cocky and warm and just a little too pleased with himself.
“you’re an idiot.”
he leaned in again, mouth brushing yours, “five more minutes,” he murmured, “and then we can be respectful citizens again.”
🍒 DAY 9 OF THE BET - REARRANGE YOUR GUTS.
the dream fraternity looked like the north pole had been possessed by sin. red and green LED lights pulsed through the hallways. plastic snow clung to the windows. bass-heavy remixes of christmas songs thumped through the walls. mistletoe dangled dangerously from the door frames. the whole house was filled with the unholy combination of spiked eggnog, peppermint vodka and a crowd of way too attractive twenty-somethings dressed like they were auditioning for a holiday-themed music video. slutty mrs. clauses. shirtless reindeers. fishnet-wrapped elves. you walked in with jisung. you were wearing red. the kind of red that didn’t whisper holiday cheer but warning: distraction ahead. tight, short, hugging every curve in that kind of way that made jaws slacken and jisung tighten his grip on your waist without even realizing it. he looks good too. black jeans, a white button up with the buttons barely buttoned, his smug smile in full effect. you were glued to the hip. easy smiles. quick touches. shots that went down too fast. it was easy to be his girlfriend when the lust between you pulsed like a second heartbeat. easy to be his girlfriend when his hands found your waist like they belonged there. and maybe, just maybe, you liked it a little too much.
sometime around your fifth shot. you and jisung were ambushed. cornered in the kitchen by the full dream lineup and their suspiciously pretty, incredibly judgmental girlfriends – jaemin with angel. jeno with bunny. mark with kitten. chenle with baby. haechan with princess. NCTU’s golden couples. and they were all looking at you like you were a new transfer student stepping into the middle of a high school cafeteria. jisung kept it cool. one arm slung around your waist, the other gripping a red solo cup like it was a stress ball.
“hey,” he said casually, “this is my girlfriend, y/n.” the word still sounded strange, even though you’d heard it before. he said it like it wasn’t borrowed. like it was true.
“you didn’t, like, hire her off craigslist?,” haechan asked, sipping his drink.
you rolled your eyes, “does craigslist even exist anymore, grandpa?”
princess laughed immediately before disguising it with a cough when haechan stared her down with a look, almost saying you’re supposed to be on my side.
“oh, she’s funny,” bunny whispered to jeno.
“and hot,” baby whispered louder.
“thank you,” you said sweetly.
kitten raised a brow, “so…how’d you two meet?”
jisung opened his mouth, but you beat him to it, “we’ve actually known each other since freshman year. dance majors. it’s a long story,” you say casually.
angel smirked, “who made the first move?”
“technically? me but he did the heavy lifting,” you replied, sipping from your cup.
baby smiled, excited for her next question, like she couldn’t believe it was her turn to ask this. “is he good in bed?”
jisung choked on his drink, blush immediately creeping up his ears. you grinned, “very. i could barely walk after.”
the girls leaned in like you were telling ghost stories. princess smirked, “big?”
“the pictures don’t do him justice…i wasn’t sure he was gonna fit,” you answer with a sly smile, still calmly sipping your drink. their jaw drops. meanwhile, the guys stayed quiet, all standing behind their girlfriends, arms draped protectively, watching your back-and-forth carefully. looking for cracks, inconsistencies. but you knew your story, and you delivered it well. no hesitation. no flinching. and you haven’t said a single lie. jisung physically recoiled, his body burning, “okay–wow–okay, do you guys have to do this?” there was something vulgar about you showing him off. something that made all the blood rush to his cock.
“what’s his nickname for you?,” chenle cuts in, smirking. if you didn’t have a nickname, jisung was fucked.
“cherry,” you say easily. not even thinking about it.
“awee, that’s so cute,” bunny sighs.
“i like her,” angel decided.
“yeah,” baby nodded, “she passes.”
“what do you like most about him?,” kitten asked, not convinced just yet. it was the hardest question of the night. not because you didn’t have an answer. but because it wasn’t about lust. or performance. or fun. it was real. your eyes found jisung, his gaze met yours, a question in his eyes. you smiled, soft, “he makes me laugh,” you said, voice steady but soft, and for the first time that night, your teasing tone faded into something honest. jisung, who had been nursing his drink beside you, blinked, just once. you didn’t look at him. you kept your eyes on kitten, who had asked the question, but you could feel the way he stilled beside you, “i don’t have to pretend around him,” you went on, “like, i’ve never felt the need to act cooler or tougher or sweeter just to keep his attention. he’s already seen the awkward, most humiliating parts of me and he doesn’t flinch.”
jisung shifted, a tiny lean toward you. like your words had reached somewhere he hadn’t meant to expose. you glanced at him for a split second. his face was unreadable, but his grip on his cup had loosened, “and,” you added, with a small smile, “even when he’s annoying or smug… he listens. he notices things. he remembers them. he just…gets me.”
for a second, there was a beat of silence. even the music from the living room felt far away. jisung just looked at you like he was trying to memorize the moment. and then princess let out a dramatic sigh, “okay, what the fuck, that was actually beautiful.” the other girls murmured in agreement, while the boys exchanged glances, a little stunned.
chenle clapped once, “it was convincing.”
haechan narrowed his eyes then adds, “still feels suspicious.”
then jeno grinned, “one last thing.” he pointed upward with his drink and like a synchronized sitcom cue, everyone’s heads tilted up — directly above you and jisung, taped to the cabinet, dropping slightly but still unmistakable there — was a sprig of glitter, plastic mistletoe. you turned your head to jisung. he was already looking at you. no nerves. no hesitation. his cup hit the counter behind you and then his hand was on your jaw, guiding you into a kiss like it was second nature. like it was already a habit. it wasn’t rushed. wasn’t dramatic. just firm, familiar and too easy to forget you weren’t alone. the girls let out a chorus of ooooohs, some random drunk in the back wolf-whistled and chenle rolled his eyes, “it’s the holiday. let them have their fake love story.”
finally, mark shrugged, “fine. you passed the test. for now.”
jaemin added, “but if you hurt him…”
you raised a brow, “he’ll deserve it.” that made them laugh. jisung didn’t say anything. but he looked at you for a second longer than necessary. there was something soft in his eyes now, something warmer than the flush of alcohol in his cheeks. and for the first time, the boys looked… quietly convinced. the group slowly began to disperse, satisfied with their interrogation. the golden couples peeling off one by one – jaemin and angel returning to the living room, bunny tugging jeno toward the drinks table, mark whispering something to kitten that made her roll her eyes before laughing softly, chenle and baby starting a beer pong game, and haechan and princess slipping away mid-banter, their bickering fading into the music. you and jisung stayed in the kitchen for another beat, sharing a knowing glance.
“do you think we passed?,” you asked, nudging him.
he raised an eyebrow, “you basically said i rearranged your guts in front of five of my hyungs and their girlfriends. we passed with flying colors.”
you laughed, bumping your shoulder against his, “they asked. i answered.” he smirked, grabbing your hand and tugging you back into the living room where people were dancing. arms in the air. offbeat footwork. someone doing the worm in a corner for absolutely no reason. and it was fun. you and jisung danced, easy and laughing, like no one was watching. like it didn’t matter. like your bodies knew the rhythm of each other already. he spun you once, exaggerated and dramatic, then dipped you too low, catching you just in time. you squealed, smacked his shoulder, and he grinned like he’d been waiting all night for that exact moment. and then you saw them. your friends – karina, sophia, sion and dongpyo. all standing near the wall, cups in hand, clearly people-watching. except they weren’t watching just anyone they were watching you. four pairs of widened eyes with expressions that are a mix of disbelief and celebration. you caught their eyes across the dance floor and coolly, confidently, held up two fingers, rubbing them against your thumb – the money signal. karina groaned on the spot, face-palming like she couldn’t believe you were really winning. sophia snorted into her drink. sion gave you the slow, proud nod of a man witnessing history. dongpyo let out a loud, echoing “YES!” that got drowned out by the bass drop but still made people look. only the four of them knew what it meant. the win was yours. soon.
you turned back to jisung, smile still tugging at the corner of your lips. he didn’t notice the exchange. and then, somewhere between songs, his hand slipped low on your waist. he leaned in close, his voice a quiet, honey-smooth murmur against your ear, “i’m pretty sure,” he said, “the fine print included going upstairs and making you feel even better.” your heart skipped a beat. and just like that, he was pulling you up the stairs. the party fades behind you, the pulse of bass and drunken voices muffled as jisung shuts the door to his room with a quiet click. his hand is still laced with yours, and your skin is buzzing — from alcohol, from adrenaline, from him. he guides you inside, gently sitting you down on the edge of his bed. his room doesn’t look much different from freshman year, the led lights are still blue, casting soft shadows across the room, making the moment feel suspended in its own little bubble.
jisung moves over to his speakers and grins, “got a christmas present for you.” before you can ask what, the unmistakable beat of pony starts to play, your eyes widen “oh my god,” you burst out laughing, “no fucking way.”
jisung looks over his shoulder, that shit-eating grin growing, he watches you laugh, “you remember this?”
“how could i forget?,” you try to contain your laughter, but then jisung starts performing. body rolls, thrusts – slow, deliberate, confident, every motion teasing. like he’s channeling his own magic mike show. his shirt hits the floor first, and you have to bite down on your lip as his fingers trail over his abs. then he grinds on floor, hips rolling with every beat, pants inching down gradually until the only thing between you and his dick is a thin pair of black boxers. and even that’s barely doing its job. his bulge is already obscene, thick and heavy, the shape of him outlined perfectly. you swear you can see the weight of it. your thighs instinctively press together.
“you’re drooling,” he teases, before parting your legs open and sliding up in between them, still body rolling. “oh, shut up,” you giggled, smacking his chest. but your hands stay there, fingers trailing down the lines of his abs, then lower, his cock straining against his briefs.
“you want me to keep going?” he murmurs, voice low and teasing.
you nod, breathless, “take them off.”
“say please.” you roll your eyes, then murmur it right against his mouth, “please.” he groans and strips the last layer off, and fuck. you’ve seen him hard before. you’ve felt him. but nothing compares to this — to the way he stands in front of you, completely, bare and unashamed, cock hard and heavy, curving up toward his stomach.
“tongue-tied already?” he teases. you reach for him without thinking, wrapping your fingers around the base of his length, “you’re so big, jisung.”
he hisses, hips twitching, “and you take every inch like a good girl, don’t you?,” he mutters, a finger under your chin. the words make you clench around nothing. he pulls you to your feet, undressing you slowly — like he’s unwrapping something precious. your dress slips off your shoulders. your panties slide down your legs. when you’re finally naked, he drags his eyes up your body and groans, “fucking perfect.”
you’re already soaking when he takes a seat at the edge of his bed, pulling you into his lap and guiding you to straddle him. he kisses you once, deep and messy, before pulling back, “condom?” you shake your head no, “just pull out again,” you breathe, pulling him closer, already grinding down against him.
he groans, “fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” with one hand wrapped around his cock, you line him up, and then you sink down. it’s not graceful. it never is with jisung. it’s filthy and slow and overwhelming. your walls stretch to take him, breath catching in your throat as he fills you up. he’s too big. he knows he’s too big. he lives for the way your body struggles to take all of him, “fuck, cherry,” he groans, head falling back, “you always forget how big i am until i’m inside you, huh?”
you whimper, jaw dropping, digging your nails into his shoulders, “too big—jisung, fuck.”
“take your time,” he breathes, voice barely holding together, “you got it.” — you feel the stretch, the pressure. when you finally sit all the way, you cling to him, forehead to forehead, panting. then his hand slides down your stomach, fingers spreading wide just beneath your ribs. this new angle was intense. “look,” he whispers, awe in his voice, “you see that?” you glance down. there’s a visible bulge pressing up in your belly. a shape. him. you moan, soft and wrecked, and jisung groans like he’s going to lose it, his eyes are locked on it, completely wrecked, “that’s me,” he says darkly, rubbing slow circles over the visible shape of his cock inside you, “so fucking deep. i’m inside your stomach, cherry.”
“holy shit,” you breathe, whimpering, “i feel everything,” you tighten around him just to feel his reaction and he hisses through his teeth, fingers digging into your ass, “you like that?,” he practically growls, “knowing how deep i am?”
“i love it,” you groan, rolling your hips.
“you were made for this,” he grunts, lifting his hips into you, “made for me.” your hands claw at his chest as you begin to move, slow at first, circling your hips as he groans beneath you. every thrust hits deep, dragging across every nerve, every sweet spot, until your thighs are shaking and you can’t stop the sounds spilling from your lips.
he grabs one breast, tongue lapping over your nipple, then sucks hard, while his fingers pinch the other. you cry out, body jerking, “jisung—fuck, slow down with the marks,” you gasp, “do you know how much concealer i’ve been using just to hide the other ones?”
“i don’t give a shit,” he murmurs, laughing into your skin, then switching to the other, sucking even harder, “they’ll see you’re mine.” — you start riding him in earnest, bouncing in his lap, your thighs burning, his cock stretching you perfectly over and over again. the room is filled with nothing but moans, wet sounds, skin on skin. he grabs your ass, thrusting up into you harder, “look at you. stuffed full. you love it, don’t you?” you nod, unable to speak, that heat in your stomach threatening to break with every thrust, “fuck—jisung, i’m close—,” you choke out.
“come for me, cherry” he pants, “i wanna feel it. feel you squeezing me.” he slams up into you at just the right angle. and it hits. your orgasm shatters, head tossed back, nails sinking into his shoulders, thighs shaking as your walls clamp down around him. your entire body jerks as the wave pulls you under, collapsing against his chest, breath gone. but jisung doesn’t stop. he’s still thrusting up into you, faster now, chasing his own high. his rhythm turns brutal, desperate, driving into you so deep and quick it knocks the air right out of your lungs. you scream, overstimulated and wrecked, the pleasure riding that fine line between too much and not enough. “jisung—” you gasp, voice hoarse, eyes watering, “too much—”
“i know, cherry,” he groans, voice thick with hunger, “but i need you. just a little more. let me feel you again.” you cling to him, moaning helplessly as his cock keeps dragging along that oversensitive spot inside you, again and again. it stings, sharp and raw, but your body starts to give way to it, the pain blurring into pleasure, nerve endings frayed and sparking as the burn starts to fade. then it coils again. that low, unbearable ache in your belly, winding up faster than before, tighter. you cry out, overwhelmed, mind blank as that second orgasm barrels toward you with no mercy, “jisung—fuck—again—i’m gonna—”
“do it,” he groans, rutting up harder. and you do. you break all over again, back arching hard, a sob ripping from your throat as your second orgasm tears through your already sensitive body. it slams into you like a crashing wave, stealing your voice, your breath, your everything. your pussy fluttering around him so tight and wet it forces a strangled sound from his throat.
“fuck, fuck—i’m coming—” he pulls out fast, just in time, pumping himself through it as hot release splashes over your stomach and chest. his head drops to your shoulder, breath hot and panting against your neck. you’re shaking in his lap, every inch of you trembling, ruined and flushed and boneless. the room is wrecked with slick, heat, and the aftershocks of everything you just gave each other. then jisung moves. soft hands. gentle touches. he grabs his shirt from the floor and gently wipes you clean, careful with your still-quivering skin. as he goes, he peppers kisses to your collarbone, your sternum, the tip of your chin—each one a quiet apology and a reverent thank-you.
“did i hurt you?” he murmurs, still breathless but gentle now, “talk to me.”
you manage a shaky laugh, curling into his neck, “no,” you whisper, “that was perfect…just… fuck.”he exhales slowly, like he’s letting go of something he hadn’t even realized he was holding, and pulls the both of you up to his pillows, tucking the covers around you. his arms wrap around your waist tightly as he pulls you flush to his chest, pressing a kiss to your temple, then another to your cheek, then your jaw. when he’s sure you’re safe, warm, and steady in his arms, he lets his body relax beneath yours. and when you finally found your voice, you murmur, “by the way… happy anniversary.”
he stills. then pulls back to look at you. “wait…no way.” you grin sleepily, a tiny smirk on your lips. his eyes widened. then he laughs, soft and amazed. “wow. can you believe we were those same awkward freshmen?”
you smile, eyes fluttering shut, “thank god we’re not. because you knowing what to do with your dick is the best thing that’s happened to my sex life.” he snorts, cheeks pink as he buries his face in your neck, “shut up.” then he pulls the blanket tighter around both of you, arm wrapped around your waist, breath steadying against your skin.
🍒 DAY 10 OF THE BET - A HOLY NIGHT.
you wake up tangled in warm sheets. jisung’s arm is still draped around your waist, his chest rising and falling steadily against your back, his face buried in the curve of your neck like he can’t stand to let you go even in sleep. you stretch, smiling to yourself as the memories of last night flood back — pony, his hand on your stomach, and the way he whispered mine with his lips against your throat. now, the ache lingers between your thighs, deep in your hips, your skin humming with the memory of him. he’s behind you, his breath warm against the back of your neck. you can feel his morning wood pressed against you, thick and hot, heavy against the curve of your ass through nothing but skin. you think about turning over. saying good morning. maybe teasing him. but then he shifts again, hips nudging forward instinctively. there’s a pause. a sleepy groan. and then— he’s inside you.
you gasp, eyes flying open, mouth parting on a broken sound as he buries himself in you with one slow, lazy thrust. thick, deep, stretching you open like he owns you, “jisung—” you whisper, voice already breathless. a low groan rumbles from his chest as he presses closer, his body molding to yours, keeping you in place with his arm still locked around your waist. “fuck… still so warm,” he murmurs against your shoulder, “still wet.”
“i’m sore,” you breathe, shivering as he pulls back and slides in again, just as deep, “so sore…”
“good,” he groans, “wanna keep you sore all day.”the words make your walls flutter around him, and he notices — of course he does, “yeah? you like that?” he whispers, nuzzling your neck, fucking you in slow, steady rolls of his hips, he brings one of your legs up, wrapping it around his hips for easier access, hitting you just right, “waking up with me inside you, still wrecked from the night before?”you can’t even answer. everything feels too good. you’re still heavy with sleep, and every nerve feels exposed. like the drowsy haze has stripped away all your defenses. his cock drags against your sensitive walls. and the stretch, the heat, the fullness—it’s overwhelming. “i can’t—fuck,” you choke out, fingers gripping the sheets as your hips rock back into him, “i’m already so close.”
“that’s it,” he breathes, curling tighter around you, his chest flush against your back, his hand sliding between your thighs to find your clit, “want you to soak my cock first thing in the morning.” he circles your clit slow, teasing, while his thrusts grow deeper, more purposeful, thick, gliding friction that has your whole body trembling, “please—jisung—oh my god—”
“let go,” he whispers, “let me have it.” you fall apart with a strangled cry, legs shaking under the covers, hips jerking against his as your orgasm rushes through you — sharp and fast and almost unbearable in your half-asleep state. he moans your name into your shoulder as your walls clamp down around him, pulsing and wet. and then he’s gone. unraveling with you, cursing under his breath as he thrusts once, twice more. he spills inside you with a groan so low it vibrates against your spine. you both go still — breathing heavy, bodies flushed, tangled under the sheets with his cock still inside you, keeping you full. your brows draw together slightly as you feel his warmth buried deep inside you.
“…fuck, jisung,” you blink, voice still wrecked and lazy, “did you just come inside me?”
he exhales a soft laugh, nosing at your jaw, sleepy and smug, “don’t worry, cherry. got a morning-after pill somewhere in the condom drawer.”
you snort, still breathless, and let out a soft laugh, “thank god,” you let your head fall back onto the pillow, chest still rising and falling, legs still weak, “because i am not ready to carry your kids.” there’s a pause. then he smirks, pressing another kiss to your skin, slower this time, more dangerous. “don’t tempt me.” you turn your head just enough to catch the gleam in his eyes, “was that a threat or a promise?”
he groans playfully, shifting his hips just enough to make you gasp again, “say one more thing and i will go for round two,” he counters, still nestled against you, his cock softening but still inside, like he can’t stand to leave your body just yet. you laugh, breathless and warm. you both lie there for a moment longer — hearts racing, skin sticky, limbs tangled beneath the weight of the duvet. his fingers trace lazy circles on your stomach, still holding you close.
he presses a kiss to the back of your shoulder. “merry christmas, cherry,” he murmurs, voice tender and low.
you smile, heart full, “merry christmas, jisung.” you finally turn in his arms, and he meets you halfway, pressing a soft, slow kiss to your lips – warm, gentle, sweet.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
twenty minutes later, the two of you are downstairs, you’re standing in the middle of a surprisingly clean kitchen, definitely not as wrecked as the living room. you’re dressed head to toe in him — jisung’s oversized pajama top swallowing your frame, his boxers peeking out beneath the hem, and his fuzzy gray socks slouching halfway down your calves. jisung pulls a mixing bowl from the cabinet as you roll up your sleeves, “alright, let’s get to work, baker park.”
“i’m warning you now,” he says, weirdly serious, “i burn toast.” he wasn’t lying. you regret everything about two minutes in. jisung is a disaster. he mistakes salt for pepper, almost washed the chocolate chips with water and soap, nearly cracks an entire egg shell into the batter, and at one point tries to microwave the butter with the foil still on. you catch it just in time.
“i said i burn toast!,” he defends, pouting as he stirs what might possibly be the lumpiest cookie dough on earth. you lean in, scraping the sides of the bowl for him, “you’re lucky you’re cute.”
“you think i’m cute?” he teases, eyes gleaming.
“shut up,” you nudge him, rolling your eyes.
he takes a pinch of the batter and tastes it, “mmm, tastes like… regret.” you dissolve into laughter before carefully placing the tray into the oven and then squealing when he lunges at you, batter-covered fingers raised like claws. “don’t you dare—,” you scream, grabbing the spatula to keep him an arms length away. “too late!,” he says, that mischievous smirk growing with every second. he chases you around the kitchen island, the two of you shrieking with laughter, “jisung, stop!” you gasp, cheeks aching from smiling too much. “never!” he says, matching your expression. you finally spin around and catch him mid-lunge, pressing a quick, sticky kiss to his mouth. it stuns him. for just a second. the next he’s grabbing you by the hips and lifting you onto the counter like it’s second nature, sliding between your knees. his lips find yours again — slower, deeper, heated. you kiss him back, fingers threading into his hair, the sweetness of chocolate still lingering on his tongue. one of his hands trails up your thigh, fingers sneaking beneath the hem of his shirt on your body. you break the kiss with a breathless laugh, batting his hand away, “jisung.”
“what?,” he groans, still chasing your lips.
“the guys might catch us.”
“i don’t care.”
“well, i do,” you grin, pressing your forehead to his, “we’re not about to get banned from the kitchen on christmas morning.” the oven beeps. you stick your tongue out at him, earning a small chuckle from him before slipping down to check the cookies. despite the chaos — the salt incident, the finger-licking sabotage, they actually smell… good. you pull one from the tray, still warm and golden at the edges, and break it in half. steam curls from the center. jisung watches you nervously. you take a bite. pause. he squints, “what? is it bad?”
you blink, “wait. no… jisung.”
he looks ready to panic, “what? oh god, what?”
“these are actually good.” you hold the half-cookie out to him and he bites into it skeptically.
his eyes widen, “oh my god. no way. we made good cookies.” you're both stunned for a second — and then burst into simultaneous laughter. jisung grabs you by the waist again, sitting you back up on the counter, calmer now. you eat your cookies in peace, his arms lazily around your waist.
thats when the door opens — mark and kitten shuffle in first, holding hands and wearing matching hoodies that definitely weren’t hers yesterday. his lips are still a little puffy, and her neck is suspiciously turtlenecked, despite the heater being on. jaemin and angel wander in next, blanket-wrapped and practically glowing. angel’s got that just-got-worshipped-for-an-hour hair, and jaemin’s jawline is kissed raw. he doesn’t even try to hide the hickeys. jeno and bunny follow, holding hands, both flushed, looking like they got exactly two hours of sleep and the rest was cardio. bunny’s lips are glossed but smudged, and jeno has a fresh bite mark right below his ear. then there’s chenle and baby, who enter gossiping about things that happened last night. chenle’s shirt is inside out. baby’s wearing his sweats. neither of them cares. haechan and princess saunter in last, arguing about who took up more blanket space while princess is literally still wearing haechan’s boxers and he’s trailing behind her like a lovesick puppy.
then there’s renjun, standing in the doorway, looking like he’s witnessing the aftermath of a hormone-fueled high school musical. his eyes scan the room, at all the half-dressed couples, the stolen looks, the flour-dusted PDA, and he sighs like he’s aged forty years overnight, “is this a kitchen or a post-orgy snack break?”
kitten hums, curled under mark’s arm, “well, it is christmas.”
mark grins, “it was a holy night.”
renjun stares, his jaw dropping, “you did not.”
“silent night,” chenle chimes in, “not so silent anymore.” he high fives mark and baby at the same time.
jeno, smug as ever, grabs a cookie, pulling bunny into his side. “we all woke up feeling very festive.”
bunny takes one look at you on the counter in jisung’s arms and smirks, “please tell me you got railed too. you look like it.”
jisung presses a kiss to your neck without missing a beat, “twice.”
the girls laugh. the guys cheer. renjun looks like he wants to stick a fork inside the toaster, “can we please not do foreplay in the kitchen where I make my eggs?,” he sighs.
“you make eggs like twice a month,” jisung retorts.
“still! this is sacred ground,” he huffs, “why does this house suddenly feel like one of those romcom movies where everyone’s in love but me?” he mutters bitterly.
kitten takes a bite of one of the cookies and pauses, “wait… these are actually kind of perfect?”
you and jisung share matching, smug grins. you giggle into his hoodie when he says, not even trying to be quiet, “i might have to keep you forever if you keep making cookies like this.” the room falls silent. your breath catches. you stiffen, but jisung doesn’t even notice — too busy playing his boyfriend role and looking at you like you hung the moon. your fingers curl instinctively around his shoulder, the corner of your mouth twitching up, stunned and warm all over.
then, haechan, without missing a beat, “yup. he’s down bad.”
renjun drops into one of the chairs, “i hate it here.”
haechan leans toward renjun with a smirk, “you’re just mad you didn’t get to wake up with someone in your shirt.”
renjun raises a brow, “you’re right. i woke up without being suffocated in someone’s armpit. can’t relate.” princess gasps in mock offense and haechan laughs, tugging her closer. meanwhile, you and jisung stay tangled together on the counter. he’s brushing crumbs from your mouth with his thumb. you press a lazy kiss to his finger. he hums contentedly. and unbeknownst to both of you — mark, jaemin, jeno, chenle, haechan and renjun all catch the way jisung looks at you. the way he doesn’t even try to be cool about it anymore. his hands are gentle on your waist. that proud little grin on his lips. the softness in his voice. the way he looks like he finally stopped running. and quietly, without a word, all six of them glance at each other. just brief eye contact. they don’t say it aloud. they don’t have to. but every single one of them is thinking the same thing – he’s going to be okay. after everything, the quiet sadness jisung was drowning in, the late-night walks alone, the way he’d crack a joke just to change the subject, the distance he never explained. it’s all fading. replaced with the boy they remember – soft. warm. grounded. whole. present. and it’s because of you.
renjun breaks the silence again before anyone could catch on, a tiny smile on his face, “oh god. now you all are doing the heart-eyes thing? is this a cult? are the cookies laced?”
“you okay, jun?” bunny teases. renjun narrows his eyes, “no. i’m surrounded by couples who all had sex last night, this kitchen smells like frosting and pheromones, and i’m emotionally third-wheeling six relationships.”
angel opens her arms up, “come here. you can join me and jaemin.” jaemin nods, reaching out to ruffle his hair, “we’ll make room.”
renjun immediately ducks away, “get your cooties off me.” the room dissolves into laughter. someone cranks up the christmas playlist until it’s too loud. and the kitchen — frosting-smeared, sugar-dusted, chaos-filled — becomes the softest, happiest, most chaotic love nest on earth.
🍒 DAY 11 OF THE BET - LITTLE FREAKS.
everyone had gone home for a bit over the holiday break. a quick return to normal families, traditional dinners, distant relatives asking too many questions. not you. not jisung. he didn’t want to deal with his family’s concerned eyes, not when they looked at him like he was one bad choice away from completely falling apart. you didn’t want to go home. not when all anyone would ask about was your nonexistent love life. your friends hadn’t left either, too lazy.
so you invited jisung along – bowling sounded harmless enough. you definitely didn’t expect him to stick to you like velcro. he was practically glued to your side, one arm always slung casually around your waist, sometimes on your thigh. his head rested on your shoulder while you picked out your bowling ball, fingers laced through yours even when you were just waiting for your turn — the moment jisung excused himself to the bathroom, your friends pounced.
“okay, what the hell is going on?” karina hissed, leaning so far across the table she nearly knocked over her drink, “since when did you guys get so close?”
“did you see how he looked at her?,” dongpo asked, incredulous, “like she hung the fucking stars.”
you leaned back in your seat, trying not to look startled, “you guys are being dramatic,” you said, reaching for your drink, “it’s just casual.”
“casual?” sophia echoed, “girl, he kissed your shoulder. twice. no one kisses shoulders casually.”sion was squinting at you like he was trying to see through your soul, “you’re holding hands. you’re sharing drinks. he calls you cherry…are we still pretending this is just for convenience? for the bet?”
you shrugged, a little too carefully, “look, relax. i’m acting. that’s the whole point.”
“you don’t look like you’re acting,” karina said softly. her words made something uncomfortable shift in your chest. “and you’re smiling differently,” dongpyo said, suspiciously, “like, he says something and your face does this… soft thing.”
“he’s the one practically clinging to me,” you said, defensive, “that’s not on me.”
“maybe,” sion said, “but where’s the part where you roll your eyes when guys get clingy? where’s the part where you run the second things get… warm?”
you paused, fingers tightening around your cup. you tried to deflect, “it’s just physical, okay? you all saw how touchy he was. jisung’s half the work already.”
“i mean, you’re not exactly pulling away,” sophia added, “we know you, remember? you don’t like cuddling. you hate labels. you once ghosted a guy for writing you a love poem and said it was cringe.”they weren’t wrong. you throat tightened. you hated how well they knew you.
“that was cringe,” you point out, forcing a laugh, “relax, guys. i don’t fall in love. i’m just really good at making people feel special…that $500 is still mine.” but as the words left your mouth, something about them felt off. wrong. heavy. for the first time, it didn’t feel like a flex. it felt like a lie. you felt that familiar pang in your stomach. the one you’d been ignoring since christmas eve. not the lust. not excitement — guilt. because he didn’t know. because you knew what that girl did to him in high school, and you were starting to wonder if you were any better.
they all exchanged looks, clearly not convinced. “hey,” sion’s voice softened, “if something’s going on, you can tell us.” you blinked back the sudden pressure behind your eyes, “there’s nothing to tell.”
before they could press more, jisung returned, tossing a grin your way, cocky and breathless, like he already knew what kind of trouble he was about to start and your heart stuttered. “guess what i found?” he whispered in your ear, showing you a strip of photo booth pictures some random couple left behind. his fingers brush against the small of your back, “come with me.” you followed after shooting your friends a sly smile even though your stomach was in knots. and when he took your hand, guiding you up from your seat, you knew your friends were still watching. still unsure. still wondering if they should intervene. he tugged you through the neon haze of the arcade and you pushed the thoughts away, slipping past claw machines until you reached the tiny booth in the corner. it looked ancient, barely wide enough to fit two people, curtain fraying.
it started off innocent. sitting side by side. posing. smiling. peace signs. duck lips. a kiss on the cheek. then the timer clicked again, and jisung was lifting you up to sit on his lap, a tiny squeal escaping from your lips, your skirt rising high around your hips, large hands wrapping around your waist, so close to the place you need him the most. this time the pictures are less innocent. both his hands cupping your breasts, pushing them up. an open mouthed kiss. your hand on his jaw. you can feel his bulge under you and it drives you crazy. “jisung–,” you sigh into his mouth, “need to feel you,” you say, your fingers fumbling for his zipper. he complies right away, pushing his pants down just enough to free himself. a flicker of nerves lit up in your chest, but the hunger in his eyes drowned it out. he was so hard, already pulsing beneath you and you didn’t want to waste another second. you sank onto him, ignoring the sting, your breath caught in your throat like a prayer.
jisung inserts another coin. the flash went off. the booth capturing the way your eyes fluttered shut for just a second, overwhelmed. his hands gripped your thighs, firm and grounding, and you rock your hips forward, chasing the drag of him inside you — slow, then deeper, until he filled you completely. another flash. this one caught your mouth open in a gasp, your hands braced on his knees. the way he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered, like he loved the way the camera was catching it all. it made you even wetter, “you’re crazy,” you whispered, dizzy with the way his cock throbbed inside you. the way you could barely stay quiet.
“and you’re beautiful,” he murmured. then without warning, he tugged your shirt up, knuckles grazing your ribs. higher and higher. until your chest was bare — completely exposed to the low flickering light and the cold lens of the booth’s camera.“jisung–,” you try to pull your shirt back down but he doesn’t let that happen.
“smile for me,” he said, voice dark and teasing. he cupped your breast with one hand, the other feeding the photobooth another coin without even glancing, “let them see how good i make you feel.” you were flushed, panting, completely full of him and when the next flash hit, he kept his eyes locked on the camera, shameless and smug, while you rolled your hips on him in slow, desperate circles. the strip would show everything without showing anything. your body bouncing in his lap, your mouth slack with pleasure, the curve of your bare chest, his grip on you possessive and adoring. a blurred rush of lust and power, of being wanted so fully you could feel it in your bones. and him – grinning through it all. smirking like the devil with his hands all over you like he knew exactly what he was doing. you rode him harder now, chasing that edge, your hands planted on his hips, his cock thick inside you and hitting every spot that made your vision blur.
another coin. another set. the next flash caught his mouth on your shoulder, your head thrown back, your lips parted in a silent moan, “fuck, look at you,” he groaned, watching your reflection in the smudged glass across from the lens, “so fucking pretty when you ride me.” you whimpered when he thrust up into you, just once, sharp and deep, and you clenched around him, the pressure building dangerously, “jisung i’m gonna–”
“i know,” he breathed, sweat slicking his brow, teeth grazing your neck, “i know, cherry. keep going. just like that. don’t stop.” you were both panting now. the booth was too hot, too small, both of you desperately trying to control your moans and the sounds of your bodies colliding. then his grip on your waist tightened. his voice dropped low, guttural, shaky, “gonna cum, cherry. fuck—inside. can i?” you could barely speak, just nodded, already there, already unraveling around him. the moment you clenched, he buried himself as deep as he could go and spilled into you with a rough, muffled groan against your shoulder. his fingers dug into your hips, holding you in place, making sure not a drop escaped. you collapsed against him, spent and shaking, your back pressed to his chest with the final flash — immortalizing the mess of tangled limbs, gasping mouths, ruined control. he stayed buried in you for a beat, still pulsing, hands lazily roaming your back as you both caught your breath.
you stepped out of the booth first, legs shaking just enough to make it obvious if anyone were watching. though luckily, the back corner of the arcade was mostly dead. jisung followed right after, breath still uneven, hair a mess, and shirt half-untucked. he reached into the machine slot just as it spat out the last strip of picture. there were five strips total, each holding four pictures. all in order. all in motion. the first was innocent enough, you smiling, still clothed. the second, your shirt halfway up, his mouth on your shoulder. the third – “oh my god,” you gasped, snatching the strip from his hand, “jisung!,” he peered over your shoulder, already grinning like a kid that just received the best christmas gift ever, “both of my boobs are out in this one!,” you whisper-yelled, eyes wide as you pointed to the fourth frame, where you were mid-ride, spine arched, chest bared, his hands full of you and that smug ass look still stamped across his face. he had no shame. none. “yeah, i’m keeping that one,” he said, plucking the strip from your hands before you could even think of tearing it in half. “no. give it–,” you reach out. “nope,” he folded it carefully, precisely, like it was some sacred artifact and tucked it into his wallet with a wink, “best christmas gift ever.” you gawked at him, rolling your eyes, “someone’s gonna see that,” you muttered, heart pounding as you glanced around, suddenly paranoid someone might come around the corner and spot the both of you disheveled and glowing. he leaned in, voice low against your ear, “no one else is gonna see it, cherry. that one’s just for me.”
you roll your eyes, taking a second to fix yourself up. while jisung didn’t even try. he looked smug and satisfied. you made your way back to your friends. karina spotted you first, “there you guys are…wait,” she narrowed her eyes, “where the hell did you two disappear to?”
“bathroom,” you said quickly.
“photo booth,” jisung answered at the same time.
shit. your group immediately went silent.
sophia squinted, a teasing smile on her lip, “so…was it a bathroom or a photo booth hookup?”
“neither,” you lied. horribly. “we just–he found a funny strip and we were laughing about it.”
“mhm,” sion arched a brow as he sipped from his soda, “that’s why you have a fresh new hickey on your neck.” your stomach dropped, your hand immediately going up to use your hair as a cover.
dongpyo’s jaw fell open, “oh my god, you little freaks—”
“shut up!” you hissed, sliding back into your seat. jisung sat beside you, calm as ever, tossing a fry in his mouth like he hadn’t just ruined you five minutes ago in a cramped booth, “you guys are real observant for people who are down by like, forty points,” he teases.
“don’t deflect,” sophia said, pointing a perfectly manicured nail between the two of you, “there’s tension. there’s… suspicious glows. there's possibly sex hair. did you guys—?”
“no,” you said.
“yes,” jisung said at the same time. you kicked him under the table. he choked on his fry, and you refused to look up as the entire group burst into chaos.
“oh my god!” karina shrieked, practically launching herself across the table, “in the photo booth?!”
“you’re disgusting,” sion said, which was rich coming from him. “are there pictures?” sophia asked, eyes wide with gleeful horror.
“no one’s ever seeing those,” you snapped, heat crawling up your neck again. you buried your face in your hands, groaning as the table erupted in overlapping questions, taunts, and fake retching noises. and even though you wanted the floor to swallow you whole, you couldn’t stop the tiny smile pulling at your lips. because under the table, jisung’s pinky was hooked with yours. and neither of you let go.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
it was nearly midnight when the group finally parted ways — the air still thick with leftover teasing and suspicious side-eyes. the bowling alley buzz had worn off, but jisung hadn’t let go of your hand the entire walk to the parking lot.
"everyone else is home for the break," he said casually, glancing at you as you reached his car, “dream house is empty.” you raised a brow, smirking, already know what he’s asking, “and?”
“and i don’t feel like being alone tonight,” his eyes flicked down to your lips, “come home with me.”you didn’t even hesitate. you just nodded and got in. the drive was peaceful, you and jisung talk about everything and anything. when you finally get to the dream house, it's unusually quie. the muffled hush is a stark contrast to the laughter and lights the place usually held, leaving the place feeling like your own little private world. you both kick off your shoes by the door. your legs a little sore from the photobooth. you flop onto the couch, burying your face in the cushions, “what are we watching?”
“home alone?,” jisung asks, pulling it up on netflix, “it’s a christmas classic.”
“sounds good,” you mumble into the couch and before you know it, he’s sat beside you. you’ve somehow ended up half on his lap, legs stretched out, your bottom half on his thighs, skirt riding high from the way you’re laying, ass slightly raised. you mean to adjust, you really do, but he doesn’t seem to mind and the position was too comfortable to move. your eyes stay fixed on the screen as the movie starts, jisung tracing soft patterns on your calves. it’s only when his hand lands on the curve of your ass, warm and slow, like it belongs there, that you freeze,“what are you doing?,” you ask, voice low, face still pressed into the pillows.
“nothing,” he says, a little too innocently. you don’t turn to look at him, but you can hear the smirk on his voice. you should stop him. but you don’t. you just let him touch you, let his fingers knead the softness through your skirt like it’s the most natural thing in the world. the movie plays on. you try to focus but you can feel jisung watching you. he leans back, one hand still massaging the curve of your ass, rougher this time. you feel him hardening beneath you, feel the subtle shift of his thigh under your center as your underwear clings wetly between your legs, “this skirt should be illegal,” he mutters to himself, his touch making your spine shiver. and with no warning he lands a slap, loud and red and shocking, on one of your cheeks. you jolt with a gasp, a sharp, high moan escapes before you can stop it, surprised and unfiltered. you whip your head around to look at him, your mouth slightly open, eyes wide. his eyes gleamed with mischief, “you like that?” you open your mouth to deny it. then freezes when his hand smooths over the same spot. soothing the sting. the heat and tension pooling low in your belly.
“maybe,” you whisper. he lands another one, this time on the other cheek. the moan that slips out of you is louder. your hips twitch slightly, fingers clutching the cushion tighter. he leans over you, voice dark and playful now, “didn’t know you were into that.” his fingers hook into the waistband of your skirt, tugging it down slowly, like he’s giving you time to stop him. but you don’t. you stay perfectly still, breath shaky, as he slides the fabric down your thighs, leaving you in your white cotton underwear – delicate, damp and undeniably revealing. you hear him exhale slowly. then his palm lands again and your hips roll into him, soft moans muffled into the couch. his hand caresses the heated skin between every strike, gentle in the places where he was just rough. and all the while, the movie still plays – a cheerful soundtrack to something far less innocent.
he lets out a soft groan, “you’re so wet,” he murmurs, in awe.
“i-i didn’t know i would like that,” you admit, your voice barely audible, “but i think i do,” you admit quietly but he hears every word. he chuckles, low and deep, the sound skimming down your spine.
“then let’s keep finding out what else you like,” he whispers, his palm connects again, firm and practiced now, alternating between spanking and soothing, his fingers sometimes dipping lower, testing, teasing. your whole body starts moving with it, moaning into every strike, grinding down helplessly into the ridge of his jeans. the pain shooting pleasure up your spine. “say it,” he whispers, leaning close, “say you like it.”
you pant, dizzy with heat and friction “i like it,” you choke out, “i— fuck, jisung — i love it.”
he kisses your lower back, slow and possessive, “good girl.” you feel wrecked already — and he’s barely touched you. still bent over his lap, your panties cling soaked between your legs, his hand lingering on your ass, fingers flexing like he can’t decide if he wants to soothe you or spank you again. your breathing is erratic, soft moans slipping out of you. “look at you,” he says again, voice deeper, rougher, “didn’t even have to take your panties off to get you dripping all over me.”
“shut up,” you whisper, flushed and humiliated, but you don’t mean it and he knows. instead of shutting up, he hooks his fingers around the waistband of your underwear, “let me see you,” he murmurs, “yeah?” you nod, wordless, shivering under the weight of his voice. he pulls them down slowly, a deliberate, dragging tease, and you whimper at the sudden exposure, the cool air hitting wet skin. he drops them to the floor, then spreads your thighs wider on his lap, like he wants to take his time with the view, “fuck,” he exhales, “all this from me just spanking you?”
“i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you say breathlessly, dazed.
“there’s nothing wrong with you,” jisung murmurs, one hand slipping down to trace through your folds, slick and slow, “you like a little pain with your pleasure and that’s so hot,” then his thumb circles your clit, featherlight, maddening. you gasp, hips jolting. and before you could process what’s happening jisung slaps your cunt. the pleasure spikes sharp in your belly, a moan punching out of you so loud it echoes off the living room walls. you collapse forward against the arm of the couch, gripping the cushions, “oh my god—”
“you want more?” he growls, his fingers slipping lower, dipping just barely inside you, “you want to fall apart on my lap?”
“please,” you choke out, grinding back against his hand, “please, jisung—,” he doesn’t make you beg again. two fingers slide inside you, curling instantly, dragging a broken cry from your lips. his palm cradles your hip while his other fingers find a rhythm — curling, spanking, soothing teasing, until you’re trembling above him, breathless and soaked and spiraling fast.
“listen to you,” he mutters against your back, “listen to how wet you are,” he says, the sound of your juices squelching around his fingers. he grinds his thigh up into your clit as his fingers thrust faster, “you’re so fucking close,” he says like he’s memorized your body, “let go, cherry.” — that’s all it takes. your climax crashes over you. loud, wet, shaking. your whole body locks up, cries muffled into the cushions as your hips stutter and grind into him helplessly. you hear him moan low and wrecked behind you, feel the way he holds you through it, possessive and steady, and the aftershocks leave you limp and boneless in his lap, utterly spent. for a long moment, the only sound in the room is the movie, something ridiculous in the background while you both breathe like you’ve just run a marathon, the aftermath of your orgasm still pulsing through your limbs.
you slowly push yourself up from the couch, breath uneven, heart racing. jisung’s hands are still on your body, loose now. you shift, deliberately, turning to face him. you straddle his lap, eyes dark, flushed and determined. he looks at you with a teasing grin, shirt rumpled, cock painfully hard under his jeans. you lean in close, nose brushing his, voice soft but firm, “is there anything you haven’t done,” you ask, “that you’ve always wanted to try?”
his eyes narrow slightly, like he’s caught off guard. then he smirks. “well… i’ve always wanted to try fucking someone’s tits.” the way he says it, low and rough, with a glint of challenge in his gaze, makes your thighs clench. you don’t answer him with words. you slide off his lap, dropping to your knees in front of him with slow, deliberate confidence. your eyes stay on his, unbreaking, even as your hands reach for his jeans. “cherry,” he breathes, his voice as tight, “wait— are you sure?”
“let me take care of you,” you say simply, your voice almost gentle but it holds no room for argument. you remove your shirt, unhooking your bra in one, swift motion. he groans as you free him from his jeans, cock heavy and flushed and pink, leaking at the tip. you lick your lips slowly, then push your tits together, sliding them around him without waiting for permission. he hisses the moment his length sinks into the soft warmth of your chest.
“fuck—” he chokes, head falling back against the couch. you move slowly at first, guiding your tits up and down his shaft, letting the tip pop out near your collarbone before sliding him back down between the swell, “is this what you pictured?” you ask, licking across the head when it peeks out again, “me, on my knees, tits wrapped around you?”
he moans loud and raw, hands flexing uselessly at his sides, “yes. fuck–this is better–,” you pick up the pace, pressing your breasts tighter around his cock, bouncing faster now — letting him watch as you spit into the valley between, adding more slickness, more heat. every time his head slips out, you lean in and lick it, teasing, dragging your tongue slowly and deliberately across the tip, watching him fall apart. he’s panting, hips jerking, eyes locked on your chest like he’s in a trance, “i’m not gonna last—fuck—.” he grunts, you keep going, pace unrelenting, tilting your head just right so your tongue can keep teasing the slit each time. his hand shoots out before he can think, fingers tangling in your hair. he bunches it up in a tight fist, yanking your head back slightly so you’re looking up at him, mouth wet, chest glistening with his juices, eyes dark and teasing.
“fuck,” he growls through clenched teeth, “you’re so fucking hot like this.” you hum around the head of him, letting your tongue swirl filthily as he starts thrusting up your tits now, using your body, your mouth, like he’s completely lost to the feeling. you don’t let up either. if anything, you squeeze your breasts tighter, spit dripping down your cleavage.“you wanna come, jisung?” you murmur, voice sultry and sweet and wicked all at once, “wanna come all over my chest like a good boy?”
his breath punches out of him, the words making him feel dizzy, “jesus—yes. yes, please, cherry—”
“do it,” you whisper, the words vibrating against his cock, your lips ghosting over the head. “come all over me. i want it.” — with a hoarse, desperate cry, jisung jerks forward. his cock pulses between your tits, spilling hot and thick across your chest, your throat, your lips. he doesn’t stop until he’s emptied every last drop, his body trembling, your name falling off his lips like it’s the only word he knows. he collapses back against the couch, panting and wrecked, eyes glazed and stunned. his hand loosens in your hair but doesn’t let go. he stares at you, completely undone, chest heaving, eyes wide. his moans are still echoing in the room, the mess he left on your chest still warm, when you look up at him — eyes dark, lips wet, chest rising and falling as you catch your breath. but you’re not done. not even close. still kneeling between his legs, you tilt your heat, “that was so hot,” you murmur, fingers wrapping around the base of his cock, still twitching, still sensitive, “but i think you can give me a little more.”
jisung flinches, overstimulated, breath catching, “c-cherry—wait, i just—fuck—,” but you’re already leaning forward again. you lick up the underside of his shaft, slow and languid, catching every trace of cum from earlier. you flatten your tongue along the head, swirling it deliberately, watching his face as his whole body jolts from the contact. his thighs twitch. you take him into your mouth, lips wrapping around the head, sucking gently. he lets out the loudest moan yet, head falling back, hand fisting in your hair tight, like he’ll fall without you, “oh my—fuck, cherry, stop, i’m too—i’m still sensitive—shit,” his hand flies to your hair again, gripping. needing something to stay grounded.
you hum around him, “too much?”
“yes—no—fuck, i don’t know—,” you smirk around his cock and take him deeper. he moans, hips jerking, his head falling back against the couch with a soft thud, “jesus christ—fuck, you’re insane,” he groans, “you’re gonna suck the soul out of me—”and you do. you keep your rhythm slow and dirty, tongue dragging along every sensitive inch, bobbing your head with perfect pressure, letting your spit make everything messier. his thighs are shaking now. hands gripping your hair like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered.
“cherry, cherry, fuck, i’m coming again—” he gasps, voice breaking, “i can’t—” you don’t stop. you tighten your mouth around him and moan, letting the vibrations pulse through his cock. and that’s it. he comes again, harder this time, full-body trembling, a choked, strangled cry punching out of him as his cock twitches on your tongue. his hand fists in your hair, knuckles white, trying not to fall apart completely while you milk every last drop from him, sucking slow and deep, prolonging it until he’s shaking. by the time you finally pull off, his cock slips free from your lips with a wet pop, and he slumps backward, completely undone. chest heaving. eyes glazed. sweat beading at his hairline. you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and grin up at him, “still alive?”
he laughs, breathless and disbelieving, then leans forward, cupping your face with shaking hands, “i have no idea what the fuck you just did to me,” he whispers, voice wrecked. “but i need to fuck you. now.” his voice drops into your ear, “let’s finish this upstairs.” you nod, biting back a grin as he grabs your wrist and hauls you up, his grip tight, possessive, leading you up the stairs. you can barely keep up, your thighs still trembling, your chest sticky.
the second he kicks his bedroom door open, you’re pushed inside. he closes the door behind him, turns to face you — and it’s on. you crawl up his mattress on all fours, arching your back slowly, presenting yourself like a gift—bare, glistening, ready. he doesn’t speak. he just stares for a moment, already stripping behind you — shirt gone, pants kicked off, his cock standing already hard and heavy again. you can hear the change in his breathing, the way it stutters when he sees the curve of your ass, plump and ready for him. he kneels behind you, palms gripping your ass, spreading you open, “look at this pussy,” he says, like he’s talking to himself, “still dripping,” he mutters, breath shaking, “all this from sucking me off?”
“all this,” you whisper, hips grinding back against him, “from you.”
then — smack. his palm lands hard on your ass, and you jerk forward with a cry, fingers fisting the sheets. you barely recover before another slap lands, on the other cheek this time, sharp and loud, the sting blooming hot and electric, “you like that?” he growls, rubbing the fresh pink skin, “you want me to spank you while i fuck you?”
“y-yes,” you gasp, back arching deeper, “yes, please—” with no warning, he thrusts in, all at once, deep and fast and filthy, splitting you open around his cock. you scream into the sheets, mouth open and eyes wide, as he fills you completely, “fuck—jisung—fuck—,” he gives you no time to adjust. he sets a brutal rhythm from the start, hips snapping against your ass with loud, wet slaps, each thrust punching moans out of you. his hands grip your waist so tight you know there’ll be bruises later. you’re his tonight — and he’s making sure your body remembers it. another slap. harder now. making you clench around him, “you’re such a fucking mess,” he growls, “so wet—so tight—” your body starts to quake. the sound of his skin hitting yours, his breath in your ear, the sting of his hand. it’s too much, it’s perfect. “you love this, don’t you?” he pants, leaning forward, fingers finding your clit now, rubbing you in fast, punishing circles, “love getting your ass slapped while i wreck this tight little cunt?”
you nod, moaning louder, “yes—yes—please, don’t stop—”
“beg for it,” he snarls, still pounding into you, “beg me to fuck you harder.”
“please,” you sob, toes curling, “please, harder—faster—fuck, i’m so close—” he slaps your ass again, the sting making you shudder as his cock drives even deeper. “come on my cock, cherry. show me who you belong to.” you scream into his sheets, shattering, the orgasm tearing through you in sharp, uncontrollable waves. your entire body clamps down around him, back arching, moaning his name as your pussy spasms around his cock. you feel your slick dripping down your thighs. jisung loses it, “cherry—shit—gonna fucking come—” he growls, snapping his hips into you with brutal, desperate precision. his grip bruises your waist, dragging you back onto his cock as he pounds into you one last time, burying himself deep. he spills with a groan that sounds like it’s being ripped out of his chest—hot, thick ropes flooding your cunt, pulse after pulse, until you’re both shaking.
he stays there, cock twitching inside you, breathing hard against your back. you’re limp beneath him, utterly wrecked, moaning softly as the warmth spreads deep inside you, “jesus,” he breathes against your neck, voice ruined. when he finally pulls out, you both gasp at the wet, filthy sound. his cum leaks out immediately, spilling over and pooling beneath you. sticky, messy, obscene. jisung watches, and his eyes go dark, feral, “fuck,” he groans. “you’re dripping. look at that. my cum leaking out of you,” he spreads you open with two fingers, watching his release ooze out of you with a hungry, fucked-out expression. “shit, i didn’t even know i could come that hard,” he mutters, “your tight little pussy milked every drop out of me.”
you let out a weak laugh, your voice breathless and cracked. his gaze snaps to yours, smug and wild. you whimper when his thumb brushes over your slick folds again, teasing. “you’re still so wet,” he groans, almost to himself. “you like being full of me, huh?”
you nod, cheeks flushed, eyes glassy. “i love it,” you whisper. “i love how you fill me up. i can still feel you inside.”
jisung groans deep in his throat, like he might lose it all over again. “fuck, don’t say that. i’ll flip you over and fuck you stupid.”
you smirk, weakly. “what’s stopping you?”
he lets out a dark laugh, eyes still fixed between your legs. “your legs are shaking. you can barely breathe. you’ll pass out before i’m halfway through with you.” you scoff, voice hoarse. but he was right. your body was exhausted.
jisung shifts carefully, lying down beside you and tugging you gently into his chest. one of his arms slides under your head, the other wrapping tightly around your waist, like he needs to feel you breathe, and then, quietly, soft, worried, he asks, “are you okay?” you blink. “i didn’t hurt you, right?” he murmurs, “i know it got rough.”
you press your face into his neck, your hand resting on his chest. his heart is still racing beneath your palm, “no,” you whisper, eyes fluttering shut. “you didn’t hurt me.” he pulls back just enough to look at you, brows slightly furrowed, searching your face. “are you sure? i—your thighs are shaking more than usual, and i got carried away, and—”
you cut him off with a soft kiss, slow, lazy, reassuring. “i’m sure, jisung,” you say, voice gentler now, “you were perfect.” the room grows quiet again, warm and full. your bare legs tangle under the sheets now, his fingers lightly tracing shapes along your spine. then, with a sleepy smirk playing on your lips, you break the warm silence, “you have another morning-after pill, right?”
jisung chuckled, the sound low and warm, vibrating under your cheek, “of course i do,” he whispered, brushing your hair off your face. you grinned, tilting your chin up to look at him, “i should really think about getting on birth control.”
he glanced down at you, one brow raised, a slow smile tugging at his mouth, “i mean… you don’t have to.”
you blinked, “no?”
“i could just wear a condom,” he added with a shrug, “unless you’re like… allergic to latex or into the thrill of potential fatherhood.”
you smacked his chest lightly, “wow. so noble. bet the trojan company misses you.”
“they’re surviving without me…barely,” he smirks. you giggled, burying your face into his neck, and he kissed the top of your head like it was second nature now, like affection was a reflex around you. you both fell quiet again after that, just your breaths syncing and your skin cooling against each other. the air between you is warm, quiet, buzzing with the afterglow and something more.
“do you think aliens are real?” you murmur, your voice soft and a little sleepy.
jisung hums, a little more excited than you’d expect, “definitely. the universe is too big for just us.”
“would you let an alien abduct you?”
“depends. is she hot?”
you laugh into his chest, and he grins, his hand sliding up to cup the back of your head gently, “what about you?” he asks, “ghosts?”
you shudder, “ugh, yes. my grandma used to say if you wake up at 3:33 a.m., it means something’s watching you.”
he stiffens slightly, then checks the time, “cherry.”
“what?”
“it’s 3:31.”
you gasp, pushing off his chest, “shut up.” he bursts out laughing, pulling you right back into his arms, “you’re so easy to mess with.” you slap his shoulder, but your smile doesn’t fade. it’s easy like this — wrapped in warmth, inside jokes, and the quiet stillness that only exists in the middle of the night, when everything feels suspended in time. you tilt your head slightly, studying his face in the dark. the curve of his jaw. the lashes that brush his cheeks when he blinks slowly. the tiny smile that still plays at his lips.
then, softer now, realer, “you’re really good at playing the boyfriend role.” he doesn’t answer at first. just breathes. then chuckles lightly, “i know how to be a boyfriend, cherry. i was one before i was a fuckboy.”
your chest tightens, “she really messed you up, didn’t she?”
his eyes stay on the ceiling for a moment, silent. then he swallows, “yeah,” he says, voice low. honest, “more than i wanted to admit. i hate being lied to. hate it more than anything,” he sighed, pulling you closer and you feel your heart break in your chest. but he doesn’t stop there. he sighs, long and shaky, and you can feel the tension ripple through him, the way his fingers are still against your skin, “at first, being the fuckboy was fun — the girls, the freedom. it felt like control.” he shook his head slowly, voice dropping into something almost vulnerable, “but now… i don’t know what i’m doing. i feel lost. the boys were right…i’ve been spiraling.”
you stayed quiet, letting him speak, letting the weight of his words settle between you. he’s holding you like you're safe. like you're good. like you’re not exactly the kind of person who’s about to break him all over again. your head rests on his chest, and you can feel the steady rhythm of his heart under your cheek. he doesn’t know what he just said cracked something open. because he doesn’t know about the bet. he doesn’t know that somewhere deep in the shadows of all the laughter and stolen moments, your friends are counting down the days, watching, waiting for you to win. for you to break him. and maybe at first, it was a game. but now you’re here. wrapped in his sheets. pressed against his chest like you belong there. listening to him breathe like he’s letting you in, like he’s trusting you.
and all you can think is: i’m going to hurt him. you blink hard, your throat tightening, the guilt blooming hot behind your ribs. it’s been creeping in for days now, but tonight, after that look in his eyes, the softness in his voice, it’s unbearable. he thinks he can trust you. and here you are, hiding a knife behind your back with a smile on your lips. your arms tighten around him as if that could somehow undo everything. as if holding him closer could keep the truth at bay. but it can’t. because the truth is… you’re starting to hate yourself. you’re starting to hate the way he looks at you. hate the way he opens himself up more each night through every touch, every sigh, every soft-eyed glance that says he’s slipping and doesn’t know how deep yet. hate that the closer he gets, the worse it’s going to hurt when he realizes what you’ve done. he’s going to look at you the same way he talks about his ex. like betrayal tastes the same, no matter who’s stabbing you.
you close your eyes and burrow closer, trying to memorize the weight of his arms around you, the warmth of his breath on your forehead, the way his heartbeat feels against your cheek. because you know you don’t have much time left. and when this all crashes down, you won’t get this again. you won’t get him again. and it’s no one’s fault but yours. and as his vulnerability wraps around you, a tight knot forms deep inside your chest. and in a last attempt to make yourself feel better, you tell yourself: this isn’t real. he’s doing this to get the boys off his back. he doesn’t have feelings for me.
🍒 DAY 12 OF THE BET - THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.
you needed a drink. maybe two. maybe three. maybe four. so you ended up here — tucked into the corner of a quiet pojangmacha, orange tarp walls buzzing gently in the wind, the faint smell of grilled chicken and smoke thick in the air. there was an untouched plate of fried chicken in front of you and at least three empty green bottles beside it. you lost count after the second one. the guilt sat heavy in your chest. an ache no amount of soju could blur.
jisung was too nice. too soft. too good at playing the boyfriend role. too good at pretending it didn’t mean anything. and the worst part? you don’t know when you stopped pretending. yet you’re still lying to him. letting him open up to you. all for a stupid, reckless bet. $500. that’s what his heart was worth to your friends. that’s what you agreed to. god. what a joke. the world tilted slightly when you reached for the shot glass again, your fingers slow, clumsy. you missed it, knocked it over. soju spilled across the table and pooled at the edge of your untouched plate of chicken. you blinked at it, like it might explain something. like it might fix something. but all you felt was the sinking weight of it all. you thought maybe you’d cry. maybe scream. instead, you laughed. soft. bitter. a little broken.
the cashier had been watching from the back of the tent for a while now. he finally came over, wiping his hands on a towel, concern painted across every tired feature of her face, “miss?” he asked gently, “you don’t look well.” you opened your mouth to answer, but all that came out was a garbled, thick breath — not quite a word, not quite a sob. you swayed a little in your seat, eyes half-lidded, mouth dry. the man crouched beside your table, gaze softening, “i’m going to look through your phone and call someone okay?” he murmured, not really asking, just doing, because you clearly weren’t in any condition to, “let’s get you home in one piece.”
you look up at him, eyebrows furrowed. he’s pretty but jisung is prettier — “i have a boyfriend,” you manage to say, just wanting the random guy to leave you alone. he nods, a little confused, reaching across the table and picking up your phone. he looked through your emergency contact, only finding one name. then he pressed call and brought the phone to his ear, glancing at your hunched form, cheeks flushed red, knuckles gripping the edge of the table, eyes shut. the phone rang once. then again.
jisung’s eyebrow furrows at the man’s voice, “yes. who’s this? why do you have my girlfriends phone?”
“i’m sorry to call so late. i’m kim jungwoo, i work at a pojangmacha. your girlfriend is very drunk. not speaking clearly. i don’t think she can get home by herself.”
there’s a beat of silence on the other end. then, “where is she?” his voice sharpens. alert now. “is she safe?”
“she’s safe. just not well. you should come get her.” the guy gives him the address and jisung is already out the door before the phone call even ended. he got there in under five minutes. the pojangmacha was just a couple streets away from the dream house, but he still jogged the last block — hoodie half-zipped, hair still tousled from where he’d been lying in bed. jungwoo waved him over before he could even ask, “she’s at the back,” he said softly, “didn’t eat much. drank more than she should’ve.” jisung thanked him quietly, slipping through the rows of low plastic tables until he saw you — slumped over the last one, your cheek pressed against your own arm, lips puffed out into the most exaggerated pout he’d ever seen. you looked small. you looked soft. you looked like something he didn’t know how to take care of yet still wanted to, more than anything.
“cherry,” he called out gently, crouching beside you, “why’d you drink so much, huh?”
instead of words, you gave him a quiet whine. your lower lip jutted out like a child scolded at recess, your cheeks all puffed up, eyes a little misty. you blinked at him slowly. blurred. bright. then you lifted your arms. “my boyfrienddd,” you mumbled, reaching for him like it was the only thing your brain remembered, “you’re hereee.”
jisung stared for a second. then exhaled a shaky laugh. “yeah,” he said, “i’m here.” you clung to him the second he was close enough, arms wrapping around his shoulders, your face buried in the crook of his neck. you smelled like soju and citrus shampoo. warm. familiar. dangerous.
“you’re sooo cute, sungie,” you whispered, “you’re always so cute,” you pinch his cheeks, “like a cute little hamster alien!.”
he cleared his throat, ignoring all the wandering eyes now looking at your direction. he holds you carefully and amused, “you’re drunk.”
“i knoww,” you said proudly. he smiled despite himself, ordering a glass of water for you. then you started talking. something about aliens again. ghosts. time travel. then, in a heartbreakingly small voice, you mumbled, “if i was abducted by aliens, would you still remember me?”
he huffed a laugh, “what kind of question is that?”
“say yesss,” you whine.
he adjusted you in his arms, “yes.”
you sighed happily, “you’re the best boyfriend ever.”
jisung froze for half a second. it wasn’t the first time you’d called him that, boyfriend. you both said it in front of people all the time. part of the deal. but tonight, in this moment, the way your voice lilted so gently, the way you held him like he was the only thing tethering you to the ground – it didn’t sound like a joke. his chest tightened. a slow, unfamiliar ache. a stutter in his pulse he hadn’t felt since her. his high school girlfriend. he shook the thought out of his head and slipped your arms around his neck again.
“c’mon,” he murmured, bending slightly, “let’s get you home.”
you giggled as he hoisted you onto his back, legs locking around his waist, “piggyback ride,” you whispered giddily, nuzzling against his shoulder, “you’re strong.”
“you’re just really light,” he teased, smiling softly. you didn’t answer. just rested your cheek on his back, humming under your breath while he walked the familiar path back to the dream house. jisung didn’t complain once. not when your weight started to sag heavier in his arms. your cheek resting against his shoulder, lips occasionally brushing the curve of it as you rambled on and on, all soft, slurred nonsense that had him smiling like an idiot under the glow of the streetlights — and for a boy who swore he didn’t do real feelings anymore, he was starting to think he might be in trouble.
“do you think,” you mumbled, “like… actually think… that somewhere out there, aliens are in love?”
jisung let out a small laugh, steadying you with one hand beneath your thigh, “aliens in love?”
“yeah,” you slurred sleepily, “like, maybe one of them fell in love with a human. and now they’re sad. because they can’t be together.”
“sounds tragic,” he said, humoring you.
“exactly,” you pout, emotional. you tugged weakly on his hoodie, bringing your mouth closer to his ear, “and do you think ghosts ever get lonely?”
“probably.”
“i’d haunt someone just to talk to them. not in a creepy way. just like… ‘hi, how was your day?’ y’know?”
he laughed again, soft and breathy, “you’d beat casper for the friendliest ghost.”
“you’d still like me right?,” you whispered, “even if i was see through? even if i wasn’t real?” and somehow, the question seems deeper than just you being a ghost.
he adjusted you higher on his back, “i’d never stop liking you, cherry,” he says softly. that shut you up for a second. then, more quietly, “you’re my favorite person, jisung.” he blinked. slowed slightly on the sidewalk. your voice was all cotton and warmth and honey, sticky-sweet and clumsy from alcohol, but it sounded real. too real. and he didn’t know what to do with that. so he just kept walking. then you gasped, like you just discovered a new alien species, “would you still like me if i was a worm?”
he huffed a small laugh, biting back a grin, “am i worm too?”
“no!…yes!…i don’t know,” you mumbled, nuzzling into his neck like a sleepy kitten, “you’re so warm. and soft. like a human pillow. but strong. like a big tree.”
“a tree?”
“a sexy tree,” you clarified. he lost it then, shaking with laughter as you clung tighter to him. “you’re so drunk.”
“mmhmm,” you hummed proudly, “but you came for me.”
he glanced down, smile softening, “of course i did.” the dream house came into view ahead, glowing faintly in the distance. your words were getting quieter now, fading into sleepy murmurs, but your hands stayed curled in the front of his hoodie like you didn’t want to let go. and jisung didn’t want to let go either. something about carrying you like this, warm and soft and pressed against his back, trusting him fully, stirred something in his chest he hadn’t felt in years. it was terrifying. it was dangerous. but it was also sweet. stupidly, stupidly sweet. and he let himself enjoy it just a little longer.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
his room was dim when jisung carried you in, lit only by the soft blue hue of lights. you stirred a little as he closed the door behind him with his foot, but you didn’t protest when he set you down gently on the edge of his bed. he crouched in front of you, carefully tugging your shoes off one by one, then reached for the makeup wipes he stole from jeno’s room. “gonna clean you up, okay?” he murmured. you didn’t answer, just blinked at him slowly, lips parted slightly, all glassy-eyed and pink-cheeked. he held your chin in his hand with a touch so light it could’ve been a whisper, wiping away the smudged mascara with slow, gentle swipes. you were beautiful like this. even drunk, even messy. you were beautiful and soft and his. or at least… pretending to be. he tried not to think about that part. when he was done, he pulled an old hoodie over your head, oversized and warm. then he helped you slip out of your jeans.
“c’mon,” he whispered, easing you down into bed, “let’s sleep.” you followed him, turning toward him, pressing your face to his chest, your fingers curling into the fabric of the hoodie you were wearing. the silence wrapping around you both.
“…i’m sorry,” you murmured. he froze.
you said it again, “sorry,” and again, voice cracking now, “i’m so sorry.”
his arms tightened instinctively around you, confused and worried, “hey, hey, what are you sorry for?”
you looked up at him then — eyes glassy, a couple tears slipping silently down your cheeks, your lips trembling in a way that undoes him, “i’m just… sorry,” you whispered.
he reached up, thumb brushing your tears away, his touch impossibly gentle, “don’t be sorry,” he said softly, tucking your head under his chin, one hand cradling your back. “i’m your boyfriend. it’s my job to take care of you.” his voice dropped lower, “you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. but just know that you can, okay?”
that broke you. you buried your face in his chest and cried — silent, aching sobs that shook your whole body, small fists curled into his hoodie like you didn’t know where else to hold on. he just held you. no questions. no pressure. only warmth and arms wrapped tightly around you, rubbing slow circles into your back until your breathing softened, until your tears slowed, until you finally drifted off, tear stained and clinging to him in the quiet dark. but jisung stayed awake. he laid there, holding you like you were something delicate, something rare, something his, and stared up at the ceiling as something heavy and terrifying took root in his chest. he hated seeing you cry, how broken your voice sounded, how helpless he felt when he couldn’t fix it. and fuck. he realized it then. right there, in the middle of the night, with your breath soft and even against his neck and your hands still curled into him like he was home — he didn’t want this to be convenient anymore. he didn’t want to pretend to be your boyfriend just to get the boys off his back. he wanted you. he wants to be the one you call when you’re hurting, the one who makes you laugh when you can't stop crying. he wants the tears, the rambling, the kisses, the chaos — all of it. he was giving you his heart. no conditions. no pretend. just you. only you. and as you slept, curled against him like you were already his, jisung closed his eyes and made a silent promise to himself. he was going to make sure you never had to cry alone again.
🍒 DAY 13 OF THE BET - LIAR.
the morning light filtered in gently through the blinds, casting pale stripes across the bed and the mess of tangled limbs and rumpled sheets. jisung woke first. and when he saw you there, curled into his side, one hand still fisted in the fabric of his hoodie, lashes fanned out across your cheek, lips slightly parted – something in his chest squeezed hard. he didn’t want to move. didn’t want to break the spell. so he just watched you for a while. let himself memorize the shape of your face in the light. the soft rise and fall of your breathing. the way your body instinctively gravitated cloer, like even unconscious, you knew where safety was. eventually, you stirred. your lashes fluttered. you blinked blearily up at him, “what time is it?”
“almost eleven,” he said softly, brushing a thumb under your eye, “how are you feeling?” you groaned, flopping back onto your side, “like someone stuffed a cactus into my skull…how embarrassing was i last night?”
he smirks, “not that bad…but,” he looks at you, “you did call me sungie.”
you groan into your hands, “goddd, eww, don’t tell me anything more.”
he laughed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “it was cute.”
you roll your eyes, “i smell like alcohol and chicken.”
he just laughed again, “come on, let’s shower. it’ll help.” the shower steamed up around you, fog curling on the mirror. hot water poured down your back and you leaned into jisung’s bare chest with a soft hum, eyes fluttering closed. his hands were already on your waist, thumbs stroking along your back as though he couldn’t stop touching you. you let out a breath, tilting your chin up. he smiled at you, slow, soft, pressing a kiss to your forehead, making your stomach twist. “you look like you’re about to fall asleep standing up,” he murmured in your ear.
“might,” you mumbled, “too cozy.” he laughed under his breath, reaching for the shampoo on the side and squirting a bit into his palm, “turn around,” he murmured, voice low and still a little raspy. you obeyed without question, and the next thing you felt were his fingers gently working through your hair. slow, thoughtful motions, like you were something fragile.
“mmm,” you hummed, eyes slipping shut, “you’re good at that.” he grins, “guess i’ll add shampoo technician to my resume.” you smiled as he rinsed you off carefully, tilting your head back under the stream so none of it ran into your eyes. his hands always steady. always careful.
“your turn,” you say, squeezing out a generous amount of shampoo into your palm, but the second you reached up, you realized your mistake. he was much taller. you are already on your tiptoes, arms barely reaching the crown of his head as you attempt to lather him up. he started laughing, bending his knees slightly to help, “you’re so short.”
“stop laughing,” you huffed, stretching, “it’s not my fault you’re a giraffe.” his jaw dropped, “okay, that’s not even a good insult.” you were both giggling now, your hands doing their best to rinse off his soapy hair, faces close enough to feel each other’s breath. then he pressed a kiss on the corner of your lips and the atmosphere shifted. still warm, still playful but heavier now. slower. the laughter faded, replaced by something quieter. your chest rose and fell in time with his. water trailed down your collarbone. his hands slid gently down to your hips. and then — he leaned in. it wasn’t a hungry kiss. it was soft, soaked in steam, lips brushing slowly over yours. your fingers threaded into his wet hair and you pulled him closer, pressing your bodies together. he guided you backwards until your back was pressed against the slick shower wall, one hand braced beside your head and the other wrapped tight around your waist, trying to keep you steady. you were already breathless from the kissing but as he tried to line himself up, you both realized something at the same time. this…wasn’t going to be as graceful as it looked in the movies.
he grunted, “okay–wait. hold on.”
“yeah,” you giggled, trying to find your footing, “this is actually really difficult…why are you so tall.”
“why are you so short,” he argues back, teasing. you burst out laughing, “wait…try it this way,” you said, shifting your leg up and resting it awkwardly on the side of the tub, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders for leverage, “i think this is how people do it.” he adjusted, positioning himself again, mouth brushing yours as he tried not to laugh, “you’re gonna get a leg cramp.”
“just go slow,” you say, he looks at you one more time before lining himself back in, but as soon as he entered you already knew it was the wrong angle, “oW!, okay nope. nope. that is not it.” he pulled away immediately, eyes wide before you both cracked up again, laughter echoing off the walls.
“okay, what about this way?,” you said, breathless, turning around and pressing your palms flat to the wall, glancing over your shoulder with raised brows, “lets try from behind. its gotta be easier.”
jisung blinked, “that looks so hot, like holy shit i could bust right now,” he says, earning another giggle from you. he moved, hands gripping your hips as he tried again, carefully, slowly, a moan tumbling out of your lips as he entered, stretching you just right – but between the water still running down your legs, the slippery floor, and the height difference… “fuck this,” he muttered. he stepped back with a groan, palms rubbing over his face as he blinked water out of his eyes, “this isn’t working, i’m gonna slip, you’re gonna crack your head open and that’s not exactly the fantasy i had in mind.”
you laughed again, turning around to face him with a pout, “so much for shower sex being hot and spontaneous.”
“it is hot,” he muttered, voice lower now, watching the way water slid on your skin, “you’re hot,” then his hand snaked around your waist, tugging you towards him, “but we're taking this to the counter before someone dies.” you squeaked as he lifted you, bridal-style, with ease. your wet bodies pressed together, slick skin on skin, carrying you to the bathroom counter and setting you down gently, lips finding yours again in another kiss. this one deeper. needier. no more giggling. just the low hum of his moan against your mouth and the way his tongue slid slow and sweet against yours. you opened your legs without a word, and he stepped in close, hand wrapping behind your knee and dragging it up over his hip. his other hand ran down your spine, settling at the base of your back, pulling you forward until your ass was right on the edge of the counter, forehead pressed to yours, both of you breathing like you’d run a mile, “okay?” he whispered, his voice barely audible over your own pulse. you nodded, breath catching, “yeah.” he kissed you again, slow and deliberate. his hands slid lower, tilting your hips forward, adjusting you to fit against him perfectly. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, fingers tightening just slightly as you felt him press closer — the warm, heavy weight of him nestled against you now, not moving yet, just resting there like he was savoring the closeness. then, with a deep inhale and eyes locked on yours, he shifted, lining himself up. you could feel the tension build between you, your grip tightening around his shoulders as your thighs instinctively squeezed around his waist. his breath hitched, then he pressed forward. slow. careful. you exhaled sharply, eyes fluttering closed as the familiar stretch bloomed through you. intense, slow-burning, your body remembering everything at once. it still caught you off guard, even after everything. this time it wasn’t awkward. no slipping, no bad angles. the cold marble of the counter a sharp contrast to the heat blooming between your thighs. you sucked in a breath, nails digging into his shoulders, eyes fluttering shut as he bottomed out with a soft, broken sound that made your toes curl, your fingers clenching at his damp shoulders. he paused, his thumb stroking over your hip as he whispered, “breathe.”
“i am breathing,” you managed, voice shaky.
he kissed your jaw, “you feel—god, you always feel so good.” your walls clenched at the sound of his voice. his hands gripped your waist tighter, and when he moved again, deeper, more deliberate, your mouth fell open in a gasp, body instinctively leaning forward into his. he settled into a rhythm, hips snapping forward with practiced precision. each thrust dragged a moan out of your throat. every movement sent sparks through you. too much and not enough. he moved like he knew exactly where you needed him, how to angle you just right, what to say to keep you hovering right there in that delicate place between pleasure and something more terrifyingly tender.
“jisung—,” you gasped when his palm found your breast, warm and broad and teasingly light at first. he thumbed over your nipple slowly, already peaked for him, with just the right amount of pressure to make your back arch into him. your voice caught, eyes fluttering as he leaned down to suck one into his mouth, sending a full-body shiver racing through you. he rolled them between his fingers while fucking into you, making your whole body tighten from the overload. pleasure spiked hard and fast, your moans growing louder as the stimulation grew.
“look at me,” he panted, voice strained, “i wanna see your face.” your eyes blinked open, lashes damp, and met his. you could see everything there — the heat, the tension, the desperation like he wanted this to mean something even if neither of you said it aloud. your bodies slapped together, wet skin meeting wet skin, and the sounds echoing in the bathroom were filthy. his thumb dragged down to circle your clit, drawing tight little spirals, making your thighs tremble around his hips, “jisung—fuck—don’t stop.”
“i’m not,” he grunts, lips brushing your jaw, “not until you come all over me.” his hips sped up, thrusts growing rougher as he leaned in and bit gently at the curve of your neck. and with one more perfectly angled thrust and a sharp tug on your nipple, you broke — coming hard, thighs trembling around him as your head tipped back, mouth open on a silent moan. he didn’t stop fucking you through it, watching your face as you fell apart for him.
“fuck, cherry,” he grunted, pulling out quickly with a stutter in his hips. he wrapped his fist around himself, panting, jerking himself with quick, messy strokes until he groaned your name. you watched with hooded eyes as he spilled across your stomach in hot, thick ropes, his head dropping to your shoulder, whole body shaking from the force of it. his hand came up instinctively to rub slow, grounding circles over your thigh. you stayed like that for a moment, both of you catching your breath in the heavy silence that followed. your stomach sticky, your legs spread, your whole body buzzing. the air thick with steam and heat and something quieter beneath it all.
then, without a word, he reached for a towel, expression softening into something almost boyish. you sat there quietly on the counter, flushed and still glowing, watching him as he moved. careful. focused. no teasing now. just jisung, gentle and quiet. he dried you off first, murmuring soft apologies every time the fabric grazed too rough against your skin, even though it never did. his touch was tender, like you were made of glass. he knelt to gently wipe down your legs, then dabbed at the marks he’d left on your chest, his thumb brushing over them like he could smooth them away. when he finally finished with himself, he wrapped the towel low around his waist, grabbed a second one to twist through your damp hair, then leaned down and whispered, “c’mon, let’s go before you start shivering.” back in his room, he dressed you in another one of his oversized hoodie and a clean pair of boxers that you had to roll twice at the waist to keep from slipping, “you look cute.” you rolled your eyes, making your way back to his bed and fighting off the butterflies in your stomach, “you say that to all your near-death shower partners?”
he laughed, quickly got dressed then grabbed his phone and flopped down onto the bed beside you, “nope. just you,” he says smirking, then “what do you want for lunch?” he murmured.
you turned your face into his shoulder, “surprise me.” he chuckled, soft and low and ended up ordering you both sandwiches, hash browns, and iced coffee from the little corner shop he liked. when it arrived, he let you steal fries off his plate and take long sips from his drink like it was the most natural thing in the world. neither of you said much. but the silence wasn’t heavy. it was full — warm with the kind of comfort that doesn’t demand words. you didn’t go back to your dorm that day. you could’ve. you should’ve. your laundry was overdue. but the second jisung reached for your hand again, just casually, like he’d done it a thousand times, you knew you weren’t going anywhere. you smelled like him. the hoodie you wore was stretched and worn and perfect, and it fell over your bare thighs in a way that felt too domestic for someone who wasn’t technically your boyfriend. but you didn’t want technicality today. you just wanted him.
jisung played home alone 2 from the t.v. in his room. you were half tangled in his sheets already, sitting cross-legged with your cheek resting on his shoulder. when the movie started playing, he leaned back, arm stretching around you, and you curled into him without a word. this time, you actually watched the movie. there was something easy in the way you fit against him. he laughed at the dumb parts, mumbled the iconic lines under his breath, pointed at the scenes he liked best. you chimed in just enough, but mostly… you just listened. let his warmth surround you. let your hand rest against his chest and feel his heartbeat. it didn’t feel like a game. not anymore. you didn’t feel like a girl chasing a prize. you felt… like a girlfriend. and worse — like one who didn’t want to stop. at one point, he glanced down and caught you staring. his grin was lazy, eyes warm, “what?”
you shook your head quickly, “nothing.”
“liar,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss your nose, “you keep looking at me like that and i’m gonna think you’re in love with me.”
you shoved his shoulder playfully, hiding the way your breath caught, “you wish.”
“pretty sure you were just watching me, not the movie.”
“only because you were quoting every single line.”
“that’s just boyfriend excellence.” you rolled your eyes, but you didn’t move away. if anything, you curled in closer. and he didn’t stop touching you. he kept his hand on your thigh. pressed kisses to your temple. tilted your face up every now and then just to steal a kiss, like it was second nature. like he didn’t even have to think about it. and you let him. because you wanted him. not just his body, not just his jokes, not just the soft way he took care of you. you wanted all of him.
the movie faded to black. jisung got quiet, his head tilting back against the pillows, his arm loosening just slightly around your shoulders. his breathing slowed. even his teasing little comments died out, replaced by the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. you shifted just enough to look up at him. his mouth was parted slightly, lashes resting against his cheekbones. the arm curled around you was slack but warm — so warm, so familiar now. he was beautiful like this. the softness of him. the way he let you lay here. the way he let you stay. the way he let you in. and god. it hit you all at once. not in a fireworks kind of way. not like the sky split open or the music swelled or your life suddenly changed. it hit you softly. like a wave lapping against your ankles. like warmth pooling in your chest. like the feeling of finding something you didn’t know you’d been missing.
you were in love with park jisung. and the thought didn’t scare you like you thought it would. in fact, it felt… inevitable. of course it was him. of course it had always been him. you felt it in every part of you. in the way your shoulders dropped around him. in the way your smile came easier in his presence. in the way your fingers itched to stay tangled in his, even in sleep. you were in love with him. you didn’t know when it happened. maybe in the dance studio, maybe when he showed you off to all his friends, maybe the first time he kissed you just because. but it happened. it was done. you’d fallen. and now, that stupid, awful bet you made with your friends felt like poison in your mouth. you didn’t care about the $500 anymore. you didn’t even know where you’d get it in two days. you just knew you’d figure it out. you’ll tell your friends. end the bet. pay them somehow, even if it meant draining your savings or actually getting a job. he deserved the truth. he deserved more than this version of you, the one still lying by omission while wrapped in his sheets, his clothes, his arms.
he stirred slightly, brow twitching. you froze, not wanting to wake him, but he only sighed and nuzzled closer into your chest with a sleepy hum. like he knew you were there. like even in sleep, he trusted you. your heart squeezed. you love him. and tomorrow… you’d deal with everything else. but today, you just wanted to be his. even if you didn’t deserve to be. you pulled him closer. you let your hand caress his hair. and you tried not to cry.
🍒 DAY 14 OF THE BET - I WON.
the soft hush of winter light poured in through the blinds, casting golden shadows across the unmade bed. you were curled up right in the center of it—bare legs tangled in his sheets, his hoodie swallowing your frame, the warmth of the morning still lingering in your bones, your stomach still full from another late lunch and the shared kisses.
downstairs, the dream house was coming alive again. the boys were back from their short holiday break, voices overlapping as they carried boxes and strung lights, the distant sound of someone arguing over music choices echoing up through the floors. you could hear jisung somewhere in the chaos—laughing. teasing. he sounds happy. it made your chest twist. you glanced at your phone. hesitating for a second before your thumb pressed the facetime call – sion. the line connected fast, and his voice was already loud, “well, well, well. calling me from lover boy’s bed, i assume?”
you rolled your eyes. “shut up.”
“oh my god. you’re smiling,” he said, clearly amused. “don’t tell me. you’re losing.”
you let out a reluctant laugh, raising a playful brow, “actually, i won.”
sion grinned, “did you now?”
you groaned, rolling your eyes softly, “yup, i won the bet, pretty sure jisung’s fallen for me.”
the door creaked open. you didn’t hear it. jisung had come back upstairs, a stupid smile on his face because he was about to ask if you wanted to go with him to pick out last minute decorations and maybe make out in one of the aisles. something stupid and domestic. he only opened the door a crack. but that was enough. he stopped cold when he heard your voice—light, playful, full of laughter. his name in your mouth. and the words.
“jisung’s fallen for me.”
and worse—
“i won the bet.”
the grin on his face vanished. it felt like the air got punched out of his lungs. like someone had shoved ice down his spine. he stood frozen in the doorway, hand still on the knob, every muscle locking up as the words echoed in his skull, again and again. i won the bet. his chest rose and fell sharply. his fingers curled into the wood of the doorframe.
he didn’t hear your voice falter after that. he didn’t hear you add, “and i’m in love with him, sion.” because jisung had already backed away. quietly. like a ghost. the door clicked shut behind him as softly as it had opened. and everything inside him started to burn. jisung hated liars. he always had. he hated people who smiled to your face and twisted the knife when you turned your back. he hated the fakes, the users, the ones who played games with people’s hearts just because they could. it was something he promised he’d never fall for again. and now here he was—falling apart in the hallway, barely breathing. you had lied to him. the only person he thought understood him. the only person he thought was playing on his side. he couldn’t unhear it. couldn’t unsee your smile when you said it. the ease in your voice. the fact that you were still in his bed, wearing his hoodie, still tasting like him, and calling him a fucking bet like it was funny. he clenched his jaw and forced his legs to move, fury buzzing just beneath his skin. he walked downstairs like nothing had happened. like the world hadn’t just shifted under his feet.
“bro, where’s y/n?” chenle asked, halfway through unraveling a tangle of lights.
“she’s asleep,” he says.
“you good?” jaemin asked, voice low, watching him too carefully. jisung grabbed a box of streamers and plastered a smile onto his face. “yeah.” he said calmly. like he hadn’t just heard the girl he let in, really let in, tell someone he was just a pawn in her stupid game. like it hadn’t cracked something deep and unfixable inside him. the rest of the boys moved on. laughter returned. decorations went up. but jisung was somewhere else entirely. because upstairs, the girl he’d fallen for had been giggling when she said his name. laughing when she called him a bet.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
“wait…if you’re in love with him, then technically that means you lost,” sion corrects, grinning.
you shrug, smiling softly, “doesn’t feel like it.”
sion was quiet for a beat after your confession. he was focused now. no more teasing, at least for a moment, “damn, you really love him,” he said finally, earning an eye roll from you, “so when are you gonna tell him?” you let out a shaky breath and tucked your knees up to your chest, phone still pressed to your ear, the fabric of jisung’s hoodie brushing your cheek, “new year’s eve,” you said softly.
“new year’s?” sion repeated, “that’s in, like, two days.”
“i know,” you murmured, “i just… i want one more day. tomorrow, i’m gonna end it officially—with the others. i need to come clean to everyone first, before i tell him.”
sion let out a low whistle, “damn. karina’s never gonna live this down.” you laughed into your sleeve, muffling the sound, “stop. i know. she’s never gonna let me forget it.”
“and the 500 bucks,” he added smugly. you sighed harder this time, flopping onto your back and burying your face into jisung’s pillow, your voice muffled by the cotton, “i don’t even know where i’m gonna get five hundred dollars, oh my god.”
“girl, you better get a job or sell a kidney or something.”
“i hate you.”
he laughed, “alright, alright. i’ll shut up. but for real… i’m happy for you, i knew you weren’t so stone cold in there.” you smiled, a little shy, a little shaky, “gee, thanks you’re just glad you’re gettin $125.”
“maybe that too,” he smirks, “but you got this, okay? end it. then tell him. just be honest.”
you nodded, “yeah, bye, sion.”
“bye, mrs. park,” you hung up on him mid-laugh. you had no idea that just minutes ago, jisung had been standing on the other side of that door. that he’d heard the wrong part of your confession — at some point, the low hum of the house faded into the background. you didn’t even remember putting your phone down. when you stirred awake, the room was dim. the sun had disappeared, traded for dusk and shadows. the hum of the house was quieter now, distant. you blinked and reached for your phone.
1 new message from jisung 🐹
jisung 🐹: went out with the guys. didn’t wanna wake you. sleep well.
you sat there staring at the text for a few seconds too long, heart skipping. still sweet. still gentle. he didn’t say anything was wrong. and yet… something in your chest tugged uncomfortably.
cherry🍒 : you could’ve woken me :(
cherry🍒 : but it’s okay. i should go home anyway. see you on new year’s eve?
the reply came five minutes later.
jisung 🐹: yeah. see you then.
that was it. three little words. no teasing, no pet name. a period at the end. it was small, subtle. almost nothing. but you felt it. you brushed the feeling away, climbing out of his bed, pulling your coat over his hoodie without changing. you didn’t want to take it off. not yet. you padded quietly down the stairs, phone in hand, trying not to overthink the distance in his message. maybe he was tired. maybe he was drunk already. maybe you were spiraling. you slipped on your shoes. the door clicked softly behind you as you stepped outside. the cold air hit your face. you tugged jisung’s hoodie tighter around you, afraid of the what’s to come.
🍒 DAY 15 OF THE BET - A BET’S STILL A BET
they showed up fast. it only took one message in the group chat.
y/n: can you guys come over? i need to tell you something.
now your dorm room was filled with coffee, oversized hoodies, and the collective chaos of your favorite people. karina tossed her coat on your chair like she owned the place. dongpyo flopped onto your bed, sipping his iced coffee. sophia sat cross-legged next to him, munching on a croissant. sion made himself comfortable on your dorm floor. quiet. watching. already knowing. karina broke the silence, “okay, the fact that you’re pacing like this is scaring me. are you pregnant?”
“no,” you blurted, eyes wide.
“are you sure?,” dongpyo asked, “because with what happened at the bowling arena, i wouldn’t be surprised.”
“dongpyo!”
“sorry, continue.”
you took a deep breath, exhaling through your nose, “i admit defeat. i lost the bet.”
that landed like a pin dropping in a quiet room. karina’s jaw dropped. “you what?”
sophia blinked, “wait, lost the bet as in… you caught feelings?”
“real feelings!?” dongpyo gasped, “cold, dead-hearted, emotionally repressed you?”
you rolled your eyes, nodding slowly, “i didn’t mean to. i didn’t even realize it was happening until it… already had.”
karina stared at you, stunned, “holy shit.”
“but—” sophia’s voice cut in gently, “—do you think he likes you back?” that question hung in the air like smoke—light, lingering, impossible to ignore. everyone stilled. because suddenly, the energy shifted. the teasing faded. and all that was left was the one terrifying possibility no one had said out loud yet: what if he didn’t?
you swallowed hard. “i don’t know.”
karina looked at you carefully, “has he said anything?”
“he’s sweet,” you whispered, “he’s… been amazing, actually. and the other day, everything felt different. like it was real. but i don’t know if that was just me seeing what i wanted to see.”
you shook your head, “i don’t. but i also don’t know what’s changed for him. or if anything changed.”they knew about your deal with him. the whole dating thing to get the dream boys off his back.
sophia leaned forward, voice softer now, “are you going to tell him?”
“tomorrow,” you said quietly, “i wanted to end the bet with you guys officially first.”
karina blinked, then smiled, slow and real. “wow.”
“wow!!,” dongpyo repeated, more dramatically, “our ice queen melted. i knew this day would come.”
“shut up,” you mumbled, heat crawling up your neck.
“no, but seriously,” karina said, grinning, “i’ve been waiting for someone to melt that frozen little heart of yours since freshman year,” she said, her smile growing wider, “you always pretended you didn’t want love, and now look at you…getting all soft in jisung’s hoodie.”
you looked down at yourself, realizing you were still wearing it. still holding on. they all started laughing. and it hit you, all at once, how deeply they knew you. sion leaned back, smiling, “i can’t believe it’s jisung, though. of all people. the ultimate fuckboy was the one to get to you.”
you let out a half-laugh, “trust me, no one’s more surprised than i am.”
“but hey,” karina said, grinning, “a bet’s still a bet.”
“unfortunately,” you groaned, “i know.”
“any idea where you’re getting $500?” sophia asked innocently.
dongpyo smirked, “you should sell feet pics! or start an onlyfans!” you shoved him off, laughing.
“karina’s already shopping,” sion said, pointing at her open phone screen. karina didn’t even deny it, “no rush, babe. but i am eyeing these new heels.” they were teasing again. the tension eased. laughter returned. but underneath it all, the fear stayed. you forced a smile. tomorrow, you’d tell jisung the truth. you could only pray he’d forgive you.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
your room was quiet. the glow of your bedside lamp was warm, steady, nothing like the way your stomach had been flipping for the past hour. tomorrow was it. the end of everything. you’d finally come clean. you’d finally tell him the truth.but tonight, you were staring at your phone like it might crack open and show you the future.
you typed:
cherry 🍒: you have a theme or dress code for the party?…or should i just wear something short and sexy like last time? 😌
you hit send, heart skipping. you were joking, but also... not. you waited. three minutes passed. then–
jisung 🐹: idk. up to you. you’ll look good either way.
you stared at the text. something about it didn’t sit right. it wasn’t cold, exactly. it wasn’t mean. but it was off. no teasing. just distant. you frowned. your thumbs hovered over the keyboard again. you wanted to say something light, playful, like you always did. but instead, your heart told you to just be honest. a little brave. a little soft.
cherry 🍒 : okay. well...i have something important i want to tell you tomorrow. just don’t run away, okay?
you stared at those last words before hitting send. you almost deleted them. you almost convinced yourself not to make it dramatic. but you didn’t. you left them there. because you knew the truth would be heavy, and you needed him to stay — you didn’t know that downstairs, across campus, in a frat house lit up with half-strung lights and glittery decorations, jisung was staring at your message like it was a death sentence.
“important,” you said. he knew what that meant. in his mind, you were finally going to tell him the truth. that he was a bet. that every kiss, every laugh, every soft sleepy morning had been a game to you. that you were going to end it and walk away with your little inside joke, your victory lap, your friends laughing behind his back. the image made his blood boil. because he had believed you. he had trusted you. he had let you in. and now you were about to break him. so his heart did what broken hearts do best — it started building armor. fast. if you were going to hurt him tomorrow, then he’d beat you to it. hed’ smile. he’d act fine. he’d play it cool. he’d say something cutting, show that he never cared. tomorrow, you’d finally come clean. but he was already bleeding. and in his head, you were still laughing. and if he was a game to you, then fine, you could be a game to him, too. his fingers moved fast on the screen.
jisung 🐹: alright. i won’t run. see you :)
🍒 DAY 16 OF THE BET - BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
you step through the doors of the dream house like you’re stepping into a battlefield. the music pounds through your bones, but all you can hear is your own heartbeat thundering in your ears. your friends are close behind. karina squeezes your hand gently, sophia gives you a hopeful look that nearly breaks you, sion and dongpyo flash encouraging smiles. because tonight is the night you tell him everything — the bet. that you ended it. that you fell. fast. hard. that you’re in love with him. you swallow, the taste of fear thick in your throat as your eyes scan the sea of faces. jaemin’s laughing with angel in the kitchen. mark and kitten are tangled on the couch, soft and warm. haechan’s got princess in his lap, whispering something in her ear. chenle is spinning baby around like the world begins and ends with her. jeno has his hands all over bunny on the dance floor. renjun was trying to avoid all the girls coming his way. but jisung was nowhere to be seen. he’s not in the kitchen. not on the couch. not among the dancers grinding to the bass drop like the world isn’t ending.
so you go upstairs. you don’t knock. you don’t breathe. you push open his door — and the world shatters. he’s in bed. with someone else. she’s straddling him, lips on his neck, her nails trailing down his bare chest like she owns it, like you didn’t just fall asleep there two nights ago. his shirt’s on the floor. the blankets are kicked back. his hands are on her hips. like it means something. like you never meant anything. your heart collapses. you can’t move. can’t speak. can’t even think. you just stand there, blinking, trying to piece together a world that suddenly doesn’t make sense. and then something inside you snaps. the pain ignites. the betrayal burns through your ribs like wildfire.
“jisung, what the fuck?!” you scream, voice ragged.
the girl shrieks and fumbles for the blanket, yanking it over her chest, “who the fuck are you?”
you look straight at her, voice cracking like a storm tearing through the sky, “i’m his fucking girlfriend!”
she freezes. her face crumples in horror, eyes darting between the two of you, “you’re —? but… he said he was single—”
“i am.” jisung’s voice slices through the room, low and lethal. he doesn’t even look at her. his eyes are locked on you. and it hurts more than if he’d slapped you. you flinch. the girl curses under her breath, grabbing her clothes in silence. she throws you one last venomous glare before slamming the door behind her, leaving you alone in a room that suddenly feels like it’s on fire. the silence is deafening. you stare at him. he’s still breathing hard, chest rising and falling, hair messy, lips swollen. his expression isn’t guilty. it isn’t even apologetic. it’s bitter. cold. empty. you shut the door behind you quietly, the click of it loud as a gunshot in the room. you lean against it like it’s the only thing keeping you upright.
your voice is shaking, brittle, “do you wanna explain yourself?”
he scoffs. cold. “do you?”
your breath catches, “what?”
“don’t insult me,” he yanks his pants on, not bothering to hide the fury brewing behind his eyes. “i already know.”
you blink, “what…what are you talking about?”
he laughs, a horrible, broken sound that doesn’t reach his eyes. “i heard your phone call with sion.” you go still. he pulls a shirt over his head like the fabric is the only thing keeping him from exploding.
“was that supposed to be funny? a game? something to laugh about with your friends?” he spits, his voice rising. “a challenge? how many points do you get for breaking me, huh?”
“jisung, that’s not—”
“how much was i worth?” he snarls, “did you already get your prize? want me to smile for the fucking group chat too?”
you shake your head, stumbling a step forward like your legs barely work, “you don’t know anything—”
“you lied to me!” he roars. you flinch. he’s never raised his voice at you before, “i let myself believe in you. i let myself trust you. i thought you were the only one who understood me. and it was all a fucking joke to you, wasn’t it?”
“no—jisung, listen to me—”
“i don’t care,” he cuts you off sharply, “i was just using you too. remember?” he steps closer, each word slicing you in pieces, “—to shut everyone up. to have something pretty to look at. it was all an act. every kiss, every touch — all of it.”
“i called it off,” you whispered yet the words crack the air like lightning.
jisung stills. “…what?”
you take a shaky breath, eyes blurring. “that call you heard. that was me ending it. i told sion it was over. that it didn’t matter anymore because i—”
“don’t,” he cuts in, like the sound physically hurts him, “don’t say it.”
“because i love you.”
his face breaks. and it’s the most painful thing you’ve ever seen. like he’s trying to hold himself together with trembling hands. “…no.” he shakes his head, voice small. childlike. “that’s not what you said.”
“it is,” you whisper, “you just weren’t listening. you only heard what you wanted to hear.” he stares at you. you can see the war happening behind his eyes — the part of him that knows you’re telling the truth, and the part that’s too scared to believe it.
he shakes his head. “you’re just saying that now to win. to clean up the mess you made. why didn’t you tell me then?”
“i was scared,” you cry, “i didn’t know how to tell you that yes!, this did start as a bet,” you admit, voice shaking, “but i fell for you. i didn’t plan it. i didn’t want it. but it happened. and i came here tonight to tell you.”
“you don’t get to act like you’re the victim,” he spat, “you don’t get to cry like you’re the one that’s been betrayed.”
“i’m not the victim.” your voice trembles. “but you didn’t even ask. you didn’t talk to me. you just—assumed the worst. and you…” you swallow hard, “you fucked someone else.”
he closes his eyes. like your words are knives, “you think that wasn’t on purpose?”
your heart cracks all over again, split open in a way you didn't know it could, “you did it… to hurt me?”
“i did it because i hate you.”
and it’s the final blow. not yelled. not spat. just cold. sure. deadly. like he meant it. like he’ll never take it back. and in that moment, something inside you goes quiet. the world doesn’t shatter — not loudly, at least. it folds in on itself. like a balloon slowly deflating. like a slow ache building in your ribs until it numbs everything else. because there’s a unique kind of pain that comes from hearing “i hate you” from the person you love. it’s like being forgotten. like every moment you shared meant nothing. like you never mattered in the first place. like you were never real to them at all. your mascara is running. your voice is a ghost of itself. and something inside you finally gives out. you crumple under the weight of it all. “i’m sorry, jisung.” you say it like it could fix something. like it could hold him together when you can’t even hold yourself up.
“i’m sorry,” you choke again, and now your voice is shaking — shattered glass in your throat. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” the words are helpless. weak. but they’re all you have left. so you give them to him. one last thing for him to reject. and your tears fall freely now. silent. desperate. but he doesn’t stop you. he doesn’t move. he doesn’t say anything at all. he just watches you break in front of him. and that’s the worst part — not the silence, not the absence of forgiveness but the fact that he doesn’t reach for you. not even once. you take a breath that doesn’t quite make it to your lungs. your throat is closing. your hands are shaking. and you can’t be here anymore. you turn around slowly, like even your body is reluctant to let go. your hand trembles as it closes over the doorknob, one last connection to the room where everything once felt safe. but you don’t wait. you don’t wait for him to stop you. you don’t wait for him to say your name. you don’t wait for a single word. because some part of you already knows it won’t come. so you walk out. and the door clicks softly behind you. but it feels like a slam. like a goodbye neither of you will recover from. and you run.
“ten! nine! eight!”
your steps echo down the staircase like gunshots to your chest.
“seven! six! five!”
everyone’s cheering. champagne glasses in hand. confetti already falling.
“four! three!”
all of the couples pair off, clinging to their partners.
“two! one!”
you walk out the door as the entire house erupts in cheers, kisses and fireworks — renjun sees you. his heart drops. your face is streaked with tears. your lips trembling. and you don’t look back as the door closes behind you. he doesn’t hesitate. he climbs the stairs. he pauses outside jisung’s room. CRASH. the sound of something breaking, glass shattering against the wall. a guttural scream, muffled fists hitting the bedpost. renjun opens it slowly. the room is wrecked. sheets tangled, a lamp knocked over, drawers open, a hole punched through the closet door. and jisung? he’s on the floor. knees pulled up, head in his hands, body trembling from too much pain and too much rage. he looks up when he hears the door. his eyes are bloodshot, wet, face crumpled. and he whispers, voice small— so, so broken — “why do i always play the fool, hyung?”
renjun says nothing. he just walks forward and kneels beside him. and this time, jisung doesn’t hold it back. he lets the tears fall and he cries. ugly. loud. grieving.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the floor is littered with objects. jisung sits with his back against the wall, knees drawn to his chest, knuckles red and raw from punching furniture. renjun stays beside him, steady and still, a quiet presence in the chaos. jisung’s shoulders tremble with every breath, but the sobs have dulled now, like his body is exhausted to keep breaking. then – a knock. and the door creaks open. “jisung?,” jaemin’s voice, light at first, teasing out of habit, “we didn’t see you downstairs, we wanted to say happy new—,” he stops. his eyes sweep over the room, the broken furniture, the mess of paper and clothes. then he lands on jisung, curled up on the floor like something hallowed him out form the inside. the reflection too familiar to the older boy. renjun meets his gaze and gives a small shake of his head. jaemin steps inside slowly, his usual grin nowhere to be found. “bro!,” another figure appears behind him. it’s chenle. laughing until he sees what they’re seeing, “yo what the fuck happened?”mark’s next. one by one, all the dream boys enter his room – a group known for their noise and confidence and shameless chaos. but now? now they’re silent. staring at their youngest member in pieces on the floor.
“is he hurt?,” jeno asks. renjun shakes his head, “not physically.” the others hover for a second like they don’t know what to say next. like they’re seeing the version of jisung all those years ago — stripped of his charm, his confidence, his walls. just a boy. broken open.
“someone wanna tell us what the hell happened?” haechan murmurs. renjun looks down at jisung, who hasn’t moved since his last whispered question. he doesn't answer. no one speaks. and then jisung finally talks, quiet, eyes unfocused, like the memory of the night is still sinking in for him too, “she came here to tell me she loved me.” his voice is hoarse. like it’s painful to say the words aloud. “she told me she called off the bet,” his voice is rasp, splintered and dry. his eyes are somewhere else. like he was trying to remember what just happened in the past hour.
theres a beat of silence, stunned and sick. then jaemin stiffens, “wait. bet?,” he asks slowly, “what bet?” jisungs’s head drops, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes like he can block the memory out, “i was a game. to her and her friends. make me fall and she wins.”
no one breathes. haechan’s tone is sharp, “tell me you’re joking, jisung.” he looks up at his hyung, eyes glassy and lips quivering, “i wish i was.”
mark’s face twists, “you’re telling me that everything between you was fake?”
“she said it wasn’t, not in the end,” jisung says hoarsely, “she said she meant it. that she…that she loves me.”
“that doesn’t make it okay,” jeno snaps, exhaling hard, dragging a hand through his hair, “she played you.”
“she tried to undo it,” jaemin says, quieter.
“guess she was just a good actress,” chenle spits.
“enough,” renjun cuts in, sharper now, “this isn’t helping.” the room goes quiet again – not because the anger is gone but because they can finally see what renjun’s seen since the moment he walked in. jisung is wrecked. no defiance. no excuses. just a boy in a pile of his own ruin.
“she was going to tell me tonight,” jisung whispers, “but i didn’t let her. i was so angry — i just wanted to hurt her back so i—,” he cuts off swallowing the next words, “—i slept with someone else and i made sure she saw it.”
“jesus christ,” chenle mutters. you’re not there, but your ghost clings to every breath in the room. the boys are all picturing it – the way you must’ve looked walking in on him with someone else, the way you ran out during the countdown. jisung lets out a bitter laugh, suddenly remember something else – something older, deeper. a lie that began everything, “i never even told you guys why we started dating.”
they all glance up, “what do you mean?,” mark asks.
“i told you we just clicked,” jisung says, “but that’s not what happened,” he exhales, broken and bitter, “i made her my girlfriend because i wanted you all to get off my back. i wanted you guys to stop thinking i was a fuck-up.”
haechan’s brows pinch, “jisung…”
“it wasn’t real at first. i didn’t even know i liked her. but then she made me laugh. she understood me,” he says, voice cracking again, “and i let myself believe that maybe this time, it could be different…turns out i do just fuck things up.” the room is quiet again. except this time, it’s not out of anger. it’s grief. for the version of jisung they’d been waiting for — the one who started to soften, started to try. none of them sure if he’ll ever let that part of him come back. renjun breaks the silence, with that same intuitive calm that’s held jisung together this whole time, “you said she loved you.” jisung nods once, eyes shut.
“then maybe it was real for her too, too”
“but i didn’t believe her,” jisung says, “i didn’t even give her the chance to explain.” he’s crying now. no one says anything. no one dares to. because they know the hurt between you and jisung wasn’t just betrayal. it was love that turned to ruin. trust shattered by fear. hope undone by pride. and even if you both meant it in the end…jisung may never believe it again. not after this.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
you’re on the floor of your dorm room. still in your dress. curled up in the center of the room like you collapsed there the second you walked in. mascara streaks your cheeks. your chest rises and falls in uneven gasps, your whole body trembling from the cold, from the hurt, from the truth. you barely remember how you got home. your heels are gone. somewhere on the sidewalk. the night is a blur of pounding music and muffled voices that dissolved into static. but none of it matters now. the door slams open. footsteps freeze. “babe?” karina’s voice cracks as she sees you.
“oh my god,” sophia whispers. dongpyo and sion peeking in to see you broken on the floor. they rush toward you. you try to speak, but all that escapes is a sob — broken, raw, pulled straight from somewhere deep inside. it silences the whole room. karina drops to her knees, instantly beside you, gathering you in her arms like she’s trying to shield you from whatever shattered you, “what happened?” she breathes, “what did he do to you?”
you shake your head, “it’s my fault.”
sophia sits on the other side of you, brushing your hair back, gentle and careful. “what do you mean? you were going to tell him. you were going to finally say it.”
you nod, choking on your own words. “i—i did. i tried,” you sob. “i went to his room and—and he was…” you can’t even finish. but they all understand.
“h-he was with someone else,” your voice breaks again, hands pressed to your chest like you’re trying to keep your ribs from collapsing, “and i can’t even blame him. i lied to him. i hurt him. i started this whole thing as a fucking bet.” you cover your face, tears leaking through your fingers. “h-he heard my phone call with sion, he thought i was laughing at him. thought i was bragging.”
“wait,” sion says, slowly. “but that call was you ending it. you told me you fell in love with him.”
“he didn’t hear that part,” you whisper, “i’m so stupid,” you cry, “i let myself fall in love with someone i was supposed to be pretending with and then i went and ruined it. i deserve this. i deserve everything—his hate, the way he looked at me like i was nothing—”
“stop,” karina cuts in sharply. “no, you don’t.” dongpyo snaps, “that is not love.”
“you were exclusive,” sophia says softly. “even if it started out fake. it became real. you didn’t just imagine that.”
“but i broke his trust.”
“and he broke yours,” sion says. calm. brutal. “he slept with someone else while still being your boyfriend. doesn’t matter if it was real-real or convenient-real. you were still together. that is not okay.”
you shake your head violently, “you didn’t see his face. you didn’t hear his voice. i destroyed him. he said he hated me—,” you whimper, karina pullina you tighter, “—it hurts so much.”
sion sits back on the floor beside you, his expression dark, “if I had known what he was going to do—”
“no,” you interrupt, voice hoarse. “—it’s all my fault.”
dongpyo snorts, furious. “he didn’t mean to fuck someone else? okay.” karina glances at him as to say shut up this is not helping.
“i think… i think i would’ve forgiven him,” you admit, “if we had just talked about it.” that silences them. because they believe you. because they know you. and even in your guilt, even in your self-blame, it’s clear — your love for him is real. and it’s killing you. the room is quiet except for your sobs. and four people who love you. helpless to fix it, but willing to sit with you in the wreckage anyway. just like the boys did for him.
🍒 JANUARY 5 - HAPPY NEW YEAR.
a mandatory student council assembly. dress code: casual. attendance: required. the kind of event that’s pointless on a normal day. but today, it feels like a battlefield. the auditorium buzzes with idle chatter as students filter in. the dream boys stick out like always, shining, confident, loud. but even they’re quieter than usual. muted. careful. because at the center of them sits jisung. silent. head down. he’s wearing a black hoodie. his hair’s a mess. his eyes are dull. his legs bounce restlessly under the chair, like he can’t sit still with everything still weighing on him. mark and jeno flank him on either side like bodyguards. the rest — jaemin, renjun, chenle, haechan — are watching the entrance. waiting. and then…you walk in. karina’s got her arm looped through yours. sophia is clutching your water bottle like she’ll throw it at someone if needed. sion and dongpyo trail behind, both tense, both ready. karina locks eyes with mark. her stare is icy, unreadable. sophia doesn’t even blink when she sees haechan glaring. dongpyo is death staring chenle for no reason. and sion zero in on jisung. not threatening — just watching like they’re counting how many pieces of him still exist. but none of it matters. because neither side can undo what happened. neither group can fix the way you’re both breaking.
the second jisung looks up and sees you — he stops breathing. because you’re a shell of the girl he remembers. you still look beautiful. but not in the way you used to shine. you’re wearing makeup like armor. you’re walking upright only because your friends are holding you there. your eyes are sunken. red. tired. he doesn’t even try to look away. he just watches you walk across the auditorium. watches you pretend not to notice him. watches your hands tremble when you sit down. watches how sophia squeezes your shoulder. how karina leans in to whisper something only meant for you.
renjun mutters under his breath. “this is bad.”
“she looks like she hasn’t slept in a week,” mark says.
jeno exhales, shaking his head, “neither has he.”
the tension is palpable. students all around begin to pick up on it — eyes darting between you and jisung. whispers spread like wildfire: “are they not together anymore?” “didn’t they spend new year’s together?” “i heard he cheated.” “i heard it was a bet.” “wait, she cried in the hallway, didn’t she—?”
the room feels suffocating. and in the middle of it all, jisung expected to feel hatred. or anger. maybe even numbness. but all he feels… is pain.
the house lights dim slightly as the dean of student affairs, dr. kun, steps up to the podium with a strained smile and a click of the mic, “good afternoon, students, happy new year to everyone! thank you all for being here today. we’ll be starting with our mandatory annual seminar on substance awareness and drug prevention.” a half-hearted shuffle echoes through the crowd as they slouched deeper into their seats. you sit stiffly in your row, hands clenched in your lap. the dean starts talking. something about resources on campus, peer mentorship programs, the dangers of prescription misuse. but his voice is far away. muffled. like your ears are filled with static. it’s not the topic. it’s not the noise. it’s the silence inside you. too loud. too painful. you’re not even hearing what he’s saying. all you can hear is your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, your own breathing growing shallow. you dig your nails into your palms, eyes fixed on the floor, trying to stay grounded. but your throat aches. your vision blurs. your stomach twists – you can’t do this. not here. not with him in the same room. you try to blink the tears back. try to force air into your lungs. but your body has already decided. it’s already unraveling, already flashing the painful memories of that night. you lean into karina and whisper, “i need to go.” she doesn’t hesitate. just nods, squeezes your hand once, and lets you go. sophia shifts to the side. sion and dongpyo don’t say a word. they don’t stop you. they know you’ve hit your limit. you move as quietly as you can, slipping past knees and backpacks, your shoulders hunched like you’re trying to disappear. the auditorium is dim, but not enough to hide the shine of tears in your eyes. you push open the side exit, and the heavy door swings shut behind you with a soft click. you’re gone. but not unnoticed. because five rows back, jisung saw everything. he wasn’t listening to the dean either. he hasn’t listened to anything since you walked in. he noticed the way you haven’t made eye contact with anyone. he noticed how you barely moved — like even breathing hurt. and he notices how you left. quietly. quickly. broken. and it hurts him to know you’re crying alone because of him. his eyes are fixed on the door even long after it closes. he can’t see your face anymore. but he doesn’t need to. because it’s already burned into him. renjun glances at him, then toward the door. “go,” he says under his breath. but he doesn’t move. he just sits there, jaw clenched, hands balled into fists, every inch of him holding onto his pride. his brain screaming she lied to you over and over again.
🍒 JANUARY 6 - LOVERBOY 101.
the studio is already buzzing with chatter when you walk in. music from someone’s speaker plays faintly. a few students laugh, stretching lazily, still in post-holiday haze. you take your spot quietly near the back wall and sit down to stretch. you don’t say much. your eyes are fixed on the floor. karina watches you like a hawk from her spot nearby, concern written all over her face. and then the door opens. jisung steps in, hoodie half-zipped, jaw tight. his eyes sweep the room — not looking for you, but already knowing where you are. his gaze lands on you for half a second. karina sits straighter. professor taeyong’s voice cuts through the noise, “alright everyone, welcome back! hope you had a restful break. reminder, your final duet performances are next week, i’m giving you class time to rehearse. use the space wisely.”
the moment the words leave his mouth, jisung starts walking toward you. and karina is immediately on her feet. she intercepts him halfway, standing between you and him like a shield. “seriously?” she says, arms crossed. “you really think you get to just walk up to her like nothing happened?”
he stops short. his expression hardens. “it’s for the project.”
“i don’t care if it’s for the olympics,” she snaps. “back off.”
“karina,” you say softly, not looking at either of them. “it’s fine.” she glances down at you. you give her a small nod — too tired to fight. too broken to run. just ready to survive this. karina’s jaw tightens. but she finally steps aside.
“touch her too hard and i’ll break your fingers,” she mutters as she passes jisung. he doesn’t respond. you look up and meet his eyes for the first time since that night. there’s no heat in his gaze. no spark. just…ache.
“let’s just get this over with,” he says flatly. “we don’t want to fail.” you nod once. you both move to the corner. same routine. same steps. but everything feels foreign now. when the music starts, your bodies fall into the motions, the muscle memory still intact. you hit each beat, each turn, each line. but there’s no connection. no softness. every time his hand brushes yours, you feel like you might cry. every time his fingers settle on your waist, your chest aches so hard it’s hard to breathe. and he feels it. god, he feels it. because you used to melt into his touch. you used to smile when your steps aligned. you used to laugh when you fumbled the spin. now you barely even look at him. now it’s just silence and space and a gaping hole where your warmth used to be.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
his room is dim now, the sun long since dipped beneath the horizon, leaving the sky a dull gray. the only light comes from the faint glow of jisung’s laptop, music playing faintly, something low, slow and heartbreak shaped. he’s been like this since he got back from class. been like this for the past week. blank. gutted. another full day of pretending not to care. his jaw’s been clenched for hours. his chest aches like it’s been hollowed out. all day, your silence echoed louder than anything. you didn’t even look at him during the second run-through. and when you finally left the studio without saying goodbye, he felt like something inside him had cracked permanently. a soft knock breaks the silence. he doesn’t answer. the door opens anyway. jaemin steps in, tossing a gatorade onto his stomach before sitting backward on his desk chair, arms folded on the top of it and just…stares at him.
“you gonna stay like this forever?” jisung doesn’t answer. jaemin glances around the room — clothes in piles, water bottles everywhere, the whole place feeling like it’s been slowly closing in on itself.
“you gonna talk to me, or should i just sit here and give you a live ted talk on how you’re actively ruining your life?” jisung finally speaks, voice low. “i’m not ruining anything. it’s already ruined.”
jaemin raises a brow, “because of one mistake?”
“because i’m tired, hyung,” jisung says, sharper now, “every time i let someone in, i get fucking burned.” jaemin’s expression softens, but he doesn’t interrupt. “you think this is about a bet?” jisung goes on, sitting up now, “it’s not just the bet. it’s not just that she lied. it’s that she knew how messed up i was. she knew what happened with my ex. and she still did it. she still made me believe she cared.”
jaemin studies him carefully, “so…what?, you’d rather stay angry? keep holding onto that pride until it eats you alive?”
“i’d rather not fall for a lie again.”
jaemin leans forward, “jisung, let me teach you something.” the younger boy rolls his eyes, “what is this? fuckboy 101, version 2.0?”
jaemin shakes his head, grinning, “more like… loverboy 101.” jisung scoffs but jaemin continues anyway, “i get it. believe me, i get it. remember when i found out angel was lying to me?…it felt like the ground disappeared. i hated her. i hated myself for trusting her. but now,” jaemin smiles faintly, “now she’s the love of my life.”
jisung scoffs bitterly, “yeah you two are fucking perfect. congrats.”
jaemin shakes his head, “we’re not perfect. we choose to love each other anyway.” he continues, quieter now, “you think i didn’t feel what you’re feeling right now? the rage? the betrayal? the ache in your throat that doesn’t go away, no matter how long you sit in silence?…you’re not the only one who’s been lied to, jisung,” jaemin leans forwards, “—sometimes people mess up. but it doesn’t mean the love isn’t real. it doesn’t mean it can’t become something true.” he continues, “—love isn’t just about the perfect moments, it’s not just the kissing or the teasing or the stupid conversations that happen at 3 a.m.”
jisung frowns but listens. “it’s also the part after. when everything’s shattered. when you’re bleeding and bitter and still you reach for each other,” jaemin’s voice is steady now, words slow and deliberate, “because love doesn’t survive without forgiveness. trust me. i almost lost mine due to my pride.”
jisung swallows hard. “i can’t go back there, hyung. i can’t be that guy again. the one who loves too loudly just to be left behind.”
“you’re not that guy,” jaemin says. “you’re someone who’s been hurt, yeah. but you’re also someone she chose to come clean to. someone she was ready to fight for.”
“she walked away too.”
“because you broke her too,” jaemin says, voice calm but firm. “you cheated, jisung. you told her you hated her. you let her leave.” another beat of silence. “you think being cold makes you stronger. but all it’s done is make you lonely.”
jisung lowers his head, “she looked at me today like i was a stranger. i don’t think she’ll ever forgive me,” he finally says, his restraints loosening slowly.
“if you love her, then tell her…at least try,” jaemin says. then he gets up, heads toward the door, then stops and glances back, “i thought angel would never forgive me either,” he says, “now she has half of my wardrobe and eats my food without asking.”
jisung lets out a soft, miserable laugh. jaemin smiles. “don’t let love walk away just because you let your pride win.” then he leaves. and jisung sits in the quiet. still hurting. still scared. but now, maybe, with something shifting. enought to admit to himself that he has become every version of something he hated. enough to admit to himself that he doesn’t hate you. he hates what it means to love you. because that means risking it all again. and he’s not sure he knows how to survive another fall.
🍒 JANUARY 7 - I KNOW IT’S OVER.
the soft glow of the studio lights spills onto the hardwood floors, reflecting off the mirrors that once captured your happiest moments together. the room is quiet, save for the low hum of music looping from your speaker the same track you’ve been dancing to for nights now, its melody looping endlessly, like a lifeline. a lullaby for the broken. a desperate attempt to drown out the echo in your chest where his voice used to live. you spin. a turn you’ve done a hundred times now. your body moves on muscle memory but your mind is somewhere else. until it slams back into place. because there he is. jisung. you freeze. and the air between you shifts. he looks like a memory — hoodie loose around his frame, face pale, eyes shadowed like he hasn’t slept in days. his fingers twitch at his sides, like he’s not sure whether to stay or run. you turn to face him fully, heart caught in your throat. he takes one slow step inside, the door clicking shut behind him. neither of you say anything for a beat. then he swallows, voice hoarse, “what are you doing here?”
you hug your arms tighter around yourself, like that might hold all the pieces in, “i’ve been coming here every night,” you confess, voice soft.
his brow furrows, “why?”
you take a breath, shaky, “because this is the only place that still feels like us.”
his face softens. like something inside him shatters a little — you never walked away.
you can’t meet his eyes anymore, “...why are you here?”
he doesn’t answer right away. when he does, it’s a whisper, barely above the music, “i couldn’t sleep,” he says, “i thought maybe if i came here, i’d…remember how to breathe again.”
the silence stretches again, but now its not empty. now it’s heavy with everything unsaid. then you look up at him again, voice smaller this time, “do you…still hate me?” he freezes. you see it happen — the way the question knocks the wind out of him. he looks at you, eyes wide, aching.
“no.” he says quickly. sharply, “no, i don’t hate you.”
you take a careful step forward, “but you said it like you meant it.”
his voice is low. wrecked. “i was angry,” he says, “and scared. and i didn’t know how else to make the pain stop.” your voice trembes, trying not to fall apart, “what do you feel now?”
he doesn’t speak. for a long moment, it’s just the sound of the music and your hearts breaking in tandem. “terrified,” he whispers, “i’m terrified that if i say it, it’ll break me again,” he murmurs, “that i won’t survive it.”
you step towards him, cautiously, voice trembling, heart pounding, “say what?”
he looks at you, really looks at you, and for a second he’s not angry and grieving. he’s just a boy in love, broken open in the worst way. his next words slice the air clean in half.
“i love you.”
three words. simple. quiet. devastating. honest. you feel them all the way down to your bones.
“i love you,” he repeats louder this time, surer, “and i don’t know how to stop. even when it hurt. even when i hated the way you make me feel so much, i still couldn’t stop.” he’s breathing hard now. eyes glassy. “—you made me feel like i mattered. like i wasn’t just a fuck-up hiding behind jokes and half truths. you looked at me like i was worth something. you made me laugh when i didn’t know how to anymore. you brought the air back into my lungs,” he says, voice cracking, “and when i thought it was all a game, when i thought i was just a bet — it broke everything in me.”
“i lashed out, i know i said awful things and i did worse,” he chokes, “i wanted you to hurt like i was hurting. i wanted to forget you. but i couldn’t. and loving you…is the only real thing i’ve ever felt and it scared the shit out of me.”
you’re crying now, tears streaking silently down your cheeks, “i should’ve told you sooner,” you say, barely above a whisper, “i should’ve told you everything. i shouldn’t have played the game at all.”
he steps forward, gently, “it doesn’t matter anymore.”
you shake your head, “it matters to me. because i love you. i never stopped loving you. even when i hated myself for how i hurt you. even when you looked at me like i was nothing.”
“you were never nothing,” he says, voice thick with pain. he closes the distance, hand lifting to cup your cheek. his thumb brushes away a tear with the softness of someone touching something sacred. he’s trembling. you’re trembling. and still, you lean into his palm like it’s home. and something in him finally gives. he pulls you into his arms like he’s been holding every inch of this in since the day he let you walk away. it’s not just a hug. it’s unraveling. a surrender. you crumble against him, clutching his hoodie like if you let go, he might disappear. your face presses to his chest, where you can feel his heartbeat racing. you both hold on like it’s the only thing keeping you alive.
“i’m sorry for lying to you,” you whisper, “for not being braver.”
“i’m sorry for hurting you,” he says, voice muffled in your hair.
“i’ve already forgiven you.”
he pulls back just enough to see your face. to read your eyes. and then he kisses you. soft, like a secret. slow, like an apology. then deeper, desperate, like he’s trying to memorize the shape of forgiveness on your lips. trying to taste every version of the future he thought he lost. the music is still playing low and quiet. the studio pulsing with something living. the broken trust. the missed chances. the words that came too late and the love, raw and imperfect, but real. and in that studio, under the quiet hum of lights and the weight of everything you’ve been through, you begin again.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the door creaks softly as you step inside jisung’s room, the quiet click of it closing behind you a stark contrast to the noise still floating up faintly from downstairs. in here, the world has stilled. you decided to start over, so you let yourself forget that the last time you stood in this room, your heart was breaking. you focus instead on the soft scent of his laundry detergent, something warm and cottony. his desk is cluttered, lights low, his bed is a mess of blankets and pillows, like he hasn’t bothered pretending things are normal. you don’t say anything. you just collapse together onto the mattress. limbs tangling beneath the covers, bodies fitting together like they remember each other even if your hearts are still catching up. his fingers find yours, tracing light shapes on the inside of your wrist. you’re curled into his side, face half-buried in the worn fabric of his hoodie, where it smells most like him.
then — he speaks, voice barely louder than a whisper, “i know it’s over… but can i ask what the prize was?”
you blink. a pause. the question catching you off guard. “seriously?”
he shrugs a little, eyes still fixed on the ceiling, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “just curious.”
you hesitate. your fingers curl a little tighter into the fabric of his hoodie, “…five hundred dollars,” you say finally, voice a little sheepish, a little ashamed.
he turns his head to look at you, eyes a little wide, “oh.”
“yeah,” you mumble, eyes flicking up to meet his, “dongpyo said i should start an onlyfans.”
his entire body stiffens, “fuck, no.”
you burst into giggles, the sound muffled by his chest, “relax. of course not. but i do need to get a job.” he chuckles, one of those soft, genuine ones that makes his eyes crinkle slightly and your stomach flutter, “we’ll throw a party and charge entrance, you’ll be fine” he says without hesitation, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
you blink up at him, “seriously? you can do that?”
he brushes some hair away from your face, smile still there, “we do it sometimes. how do you think we can afford these parties anyway?”
you look at him with wide eyes, “wait, but i’ve never paid to get in.”
“hot girls get in for free,” he says simply, like it’s a rule of physics.
you narrow your eyes, “so are sion and dongpyo also hot girls?”
he laughs, “they’re your friends. of course they don’t have to pay.”
“but we’ve been going to your parties since freshman year.”
“yeah,” he says, turning to you with a crooked grin, “and you took my virginity freshman year, you think i’m gonna charge you and your friends for cheap vodka and stale doritos?” he teases. you snort, “wow. so romantic.”
“i try.” your laughter fades slowly into something quieter, the kind of silence that feels full, not empty. the kind where your fingers find his again. where your breaths fall into rhythm. where your heart finally stops racing. his hand drifts to your waist, thumb tracing soft illness.
and then, in that quiet, his voice returns. gentler this time. “promise there won’t be any more lies between us?”
you lift your head just slightly to meet his gaze. his eyes are serious now. you nod immediately. “i promise.” and you mean it. but then, your expression shifts. your smile fades. your gaze slips away. your fingers, which had been tracing the hem of his sleeve, still. something pulls in your chest — like a weight you’ve been ignoring until now. he notices it instantly, “what is it?” he asks softly, “is there something else?”
you hesitate. then you look up at him, wide-eyed and fragile. your voice trembles when you speak, “don’t freak out.”
he sits up slightly, brows furrowing, “you can’t start with ‘don’t freak out’ and expect me not to freak out.”
you sit up too, grabbing his hand quickly, squeezing, “just promise me you won’t.”
“okay,” he says slowly, searching your face, his heart thumping in his chest, “i promise. what is it?”
you take a breath. then another, “i haven’t…” you pause, “i haven’t gotten my period.”
for a second, it’s like the walls have sucked all the air out of the room. his eyes widen, “wait—what?!”
you wince, “i said don’t freak out.”
“I’M NOT FREAKING OUT!,” he squeaks, voice cracking halfway through the sentence, “i’m just–processing…processing very quickly and very loudly.”
you cover your face with your hands, “oh my god.”
he scrambles upright, starts pacing his room like it’s suddenly caught fire, “okay, okay, this is fine. totally fine. you’re not even sure right? like, maybe it’s just late?”
you nod, “it’s probably nothing. it’s probably stress. i mean, everything’s been so—”
“how late?” he interrupts.
you hesitate, “…a week.”
he stops pacing. blinks. breath caught. “okay, okay, its okay,” he nods, eyes wild, “we don’t know anything yet. you’re right. it’s probably nothing.”
you nod. he nods. he sits back down. you’re both nodding at each other like you’re trying to physically keep your panic from exploding. and then he blurts, “should i google it?”
you burst out laughing, “what exactly are you going to google, jisung?”
“i don’t know!,” he says, flustered, “symptoms! timelines! how to breathe properly without fainting?” you giggle as he falls dramatically back onto his bed, placing a hand over his heart like he’s surviving a mild heart attack.
“but…you’re not mad?,” you ask quietly, the humor fading just a little.
he turns his head toward you, gaze instantly soft. “no. why would i be mad?” his voice is gentle again. he laces his hands through yours, “i’m just… nervous.”
you exhale in relief, plopping back down to his side, and cuddling back into him, “it’s probably just stress,” you mumble, your voice muffled against his hoodie.
“probably,” he agrees, “but either way–,” he looks at you, voice soft, “we’ll figure it out together. okay?”
you nod, heart full, leaning into him as he wraps his arms around you again. and just like that — nervous laughs, quiet reassurances, slow kisses between heartbeats — you're right back where you belong. together. no lies. no games. just this.
🍒 JANUARY 8 - BREATHING.
the five pregnancy tests are dramatically lined up across jisung’s bathroom counter like sacred relics. you’re on his bed, knees bouncing. he’s pacing the room in socks and a hoodie over his boxers, clutching the receipt like it’s a legal document.
“i just wanna say,” he begins, dramatically holding up a hand, “this is all your fault.”
you scoff, “my fault?”
“yes,” he says, whirling around, “you’re the one who had the audacity to say don’t freak out and then immediately hit me with i haven’t gotten my period. that’s literally a war crime.”
“oh, please, you’re the one with the weak pull-out game,” you smirk and he looks genuinely offended.
“you told me not to wear a condom!,” he shouts, pointing at the bathroom, “now there’s five pregnancy tests in there! i nearly wiped out the entire pharmacy shelf, the cashier looked at me like i was crazy.”
you snort, “i told you to buy one! it’s not my fault you bought five!”
“i panicked!,” he defends, “what was i supposed to do?! trust one stick?!,” he cries. you dissolve into giggles and he collapses next to you on the bed like a man defeated by science. “i cannot believe this is my life,” he mutters into a pillow, “one minute i’m chilling the next im sweating in aisle five of a drugstore, googling can stress delay a period or am i a dad…and now i have trust issues with my own penis!”
you shake your head, laughing so hard you nearly fall off the bed, “you are so dramatic.” and then your phone timer buzzes. you both freeze. slowly, like you’re approaching a sleeping bear, you walk in the bathroom together and hover above the counter. jisung’s muttering under his breath, “please, jesus, buddha, aliens, anyone.”
you check the first stick – negative. second – negative. all five — negative.
a beat passes. then you both scream. “LET’S GO!!,” he yells, sprinting around the room like he’s just scored the winning goal in a championship, “I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. MY PULL OUT GAME IS STRONGER THAN THE HOLY TRINITY.”
you’re crying with laughter now, wheezing as you double over, “YOU WERE SWEATING THROUGH YOUR SHIRT FIVE MINUTES AGO!.”
“you had me questioning myself, cherry!,” he says, pointing dramatically, “but deep in my soul, i knew. i knew. i am a legend.”
“you bought a pack of tests and baby diapers,” you point out.
“i was just being prepared!”
“you were mentally naming the baby, weren’t you?”
he pauses. guilty silence. “...maybe.” you laugh again and he catches you in his arms, spinning you around dramatically before tumbling with you back onto the bed. you’re both grinning so hard your cheeks hurt.
“seriously though,” he says, nudging his nose against yours, “i’m glad we’re okay.”
“me too,” you whisper, brushing your thumb across his cheek, “that was the worst ten minutes of my life.”
“right?,” he whispers back, then kisses you once, soft and sweet. then he leans in, voice dropping into a mischievous whisper against your mouth, “i think we should celebrate…by having really hot sex right now.”
you snort, “you’re unbelievable.” he grins, eyes glinting with mischief, “unbelievably sexy,” he corrects, rolling over to cage you beneath him. his hoodie brushes against your bare legs as he leans down, pressing another kiss to your lips, he feels you smile. then the kiss deepens, slow and unrushed as you melt into him, hands tugging his hoodie off. you can feel his heart pounding under your palm, and when you roll your hips against him gently, his breath catches against your lips. jisung groans, low and quiet, his hands sliding up your waist, thumbs brushing over the soft curves of your ribs, “i missed this,” he whispers, voice hoarse, “missed you.”
“i’m right here,” you murmur back, brushing your nose against his, “i never went anywhere.” he kisses you again, hungrier now, but still slow, still careful. like he wants to savor this. like he’s memorizing the way you taste after a week of wondering if he’d ever get to touch you again. you reach down tugging his boxers off, he helps you push it down and then they’re gone, tossed somewhere near the foot of the bed.
“you’re sure?,” he whispers, voice low and careful, lips brushing yours.
you nod, eyes steady, “i want you.” his hands slide down to the hem of your (his) hoodie, lifting the fabric slowly. you sit up just enough to let him pull it over your head, then he tosses it somewhere to the floor. jisung’s gaze rakes over you like he can’t believe you’re real, “god,” he whispers, reverent and ridiculous, “i missed these babies.”
you let out a breathless laugh, “you’re so dumb.”
“i’m dead serious, cherry” he says, voice suddenly deeper as his hands cup your breasts fully, thumbs circling your nipples, “i’ve been thinking about them. i mourned them. they were gone too long.” you gasp softly when he rolls his thumbs again, this time slower, more precised. your back arches into his touch, eyes fluttering shut as your breath sutters. jisung groans, “jesus–you’re perfect,” he leans in, kissing across the top of your chest before taking one nipple into his mouth. the marks he left before have faded now and he was going to make sure he leaves new ones. he sucks slow and gentle at first, flicking his tongue just enough to make your hips jerk forwards. you feel his length against your panties, a sweet moan slipping past your lips. he continues to work his mouth over you – switching sides, showing each one way too much favoritism.“still okay?” he murmurs, lips brushing sensitive skin.
you nod quickly, breathless, “more than okay.” he chuckles low in his throat, dragging his tongue back over one peak, then blowing on it just to make you shiver, “i love how sensitive you are here.” you can only moan in response as he keeps going until your thighs are trembling around his waist and your fingers are digging into his shoulders. “i missed the sounds you make when i do this,” you whimper when he sucks harder, your nails digging into his back. your body rolls against him instinctively, grinding down, desperate now. needing him. he slides your panties down and kisses you again, slow and deep. then he reaches down to guide himself through your folds, slow teasing strokes that make your thighs twitch and your breath hitch. you shiver, so ready it almost hurts, your hips chasing his. but just as you brace yourself for him to finally push in, just as your body arches, lips parted, aching — he stills.
your eyes fly open and meet his. he’s not moving. not even breathing.
you blink. “what are you—” and then it hits you. you burst out laughing, body shaking with giggles, “oh my god. you’re scared.”
“i’m scarred,” he corrects, “you think i went through a full-blown midlife crisis in aisle five just to play with fire again?”
you’re breathless with laughter now, cheeks flushed, forehead resting against his. “jisung.”
he frowns, but it’s playful, “i made eye contact with a toddler in the baby aisle,” he goes on, eyes wide, traumatized, “she waved at me. i almost passed out.” you’re giggling helplessly now, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down into a kiss. “okay, okay, you have condoms right?” he immediately perks up, almost forgetting that those existed. he reaches over his nightstand drawer, grabbing one and ripping the wrapper with practiced urgency, sliding it on like an expert. once he’s covered, he settles back between your thighs, bracing himself on his forearms, forehead pressed to yours.
“okay,” he murmurs. “now i can properly blow your mind without the threat of parenthood looming over us.” you laugh into his mouth, and then you’re gasping again as he finally sinks into you. your fingers clutch at his shoulders, his back, anything you can reach, as he moves inside you with slow, deep thrusts. his eyes are locked on yours, lips parted, breathing heavy as he watches every expression flicker across your face. “fuck,” you whimper, head falling back against the pillow. “you’re too big.”
“you say that every time,” he groans, forehead resting against yours, “and every time, you take it so fucking well.” the pressure is overwhelming — too much, too deep, so good — and your body clings to him, shuddering around him with every slow roll of his hips. his arms cage you in, and with every thrust, he fills you so completely it feels like there’s no space left to breathe, to think, to do anything except feel him.
he’s watching the way your face contorts under him, “i can feel how tight you are. god, you’re squeezing me like you need me.” you do. you really, really do. every slow, deep stroke has your legs shaking, your moans growing higher and breathier as he presses in deeper, grinding against that sweet, dangerous spot that makes your vision go white. and then he’s thrusting harder, every drag of his cock hitting just right, making you sob his name like a prayer. you wrap your arms around him, clinging to him like he’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
“fuck, you feel so good,” he growls, voice strained. “so tight, cherry. god, you’re mine. you’re mine.”
when you finally fall apart, it crashes over you hard and fast. your body trembling under him, nails clawing down his back, breath catching in your throat as you cry out his name again and again. he groans softly at the feeling, hips stuttering into you as your body clenches around him, following seconds after, burying his face in your neck, hips stuttering as he groans into your skin, cumming so hard he swore he filled up the entire rubber. he stays there for a moment — still inside you, still catching his breath — before lifting his head to kiss you. not deep, not hungry, just soft. gentle. a kiss made of everything you’ve both held onto through the worst of it. everything that was broken. everything you chose to rebuild. his thumb brushes gently along your jaw. your fingers tangle in his hair.
“i love you,” he whispers. no doubt. no hesitation.
“i love you, too,” you say it back, with your whole heart.
he gives you one last kiss before pulling out, disposing the condom and wrapping the blanket around you both. outside the window, the sky is still soft with the afternoon sun. somewhere in the kitchen downstairs, someone drops a pan. but here, there’s just you. him. and this fragile, beautiful beginning you both nearly ruined — but didn’t.
and for a girl who used to roll her eyes at the mention of love, who used to armor herself in sarcasm and pretend indifference, who used to flinch at tenderness like it was a trick, who used to scoff at fairy tales because they always ended too perfectly, too impossibly — now, it sounded like music. it sounded like a rhythm you want to move with. a song you want to memorize, note by note. a melody stitched between laughter and forgiveness and second chances. a dance you want to dance forever. love, in each others arms, felt like breathing for the first time in years, exhaling the ache you’d both had been carrying alone for far too long, discovering that maybe you weren’t too broken or too hard to love — just waiting for someone who saw you.
𓏲 the end.
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18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
bonus: loverboy links (don’t judge me for how many videos are on there. there was supposed to be more too but i hate the stupid 100 link limit)
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an: holy shit you guys 6/7 is done! while i was writing this i realized i wrote way more than i was supposed to because i don’t want it to end yet 😭 (i paid for that by having to deal with tumblrs block characters limit. so annoying. i hope the long paragraphs didn’t bother your reading too much!) anyways this couple has been the cutest for me to write but also the saddest cause every time i wrote a happy scene all i could think of is the upcoming angst 🥲 i hope you loved cherry and jisung! they’re definitely the most touchy and very very young love couple we’ve had. looking forward for your reviews!
likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated ⏦゚♡︎
hanji who fingers u roughly after guitar lessons . . ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა also hello fellow filo!! (≧▽≦) idk if u do emoji anons but if u do can i plz be 🐇 ? ^_^
yay another fellow filo !! & ofc you can be 🐇💞
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
FINGER WORK 🎸
HAN JISUNG x READER
.𖥔 ݁ ˖🛸── .✦ smut. fingering. mdni.
It was just supposed to be guitar lessons between you and Jisung. So why were his fingers thrusting deep inside you?
❛ ━━━━━━・❪🐿️❫・━━━━━━ ❜
The studio was quiet after hours, just the low hum of the aircon and the occasional strum of guitar strings. You’d asked Han Jisung for help weeks ago—casual, professional.
You sat on the wide couch with the acoustic guitar across your lap. Jisung was right behind you, his chest lightly pressed to your back so he could see the guitar from your angle. His thighs bracketed yours, caging you in without quite touching.
“Try again,” he said, voice low and close to your ear. “Fourth string, index finger. Don’t rush it.”
His hand covered yours, guiding your fingers into position. His touch lingered longer than necessary, warm and slightly rough from years of playing.
When you strummed the chord correctly, his thumb slowly brushed over your knuckle before he pulled away.
“Good girl,” he murmured.
The praise slid down your spine like warm honey.
You swallowed hard and tried to focus, but every time you shifted, your ass brushed against the front of his sweats. He never moved back.
If anything, he leaned in closer.
The lesson continued like that—torturously slow.
Every correction came with his body pressed tighter against yours. His breath fanned across the side of your neck when he spoke. His fingers would trail down your arm under the excuse of fixing your posture, or rest casually on your waist when you played a longer progression.
At one point you messed up a transition and laughed nervously. Jisung chuckled, the sound vibrating against your back.
“You’re distracted tonight,” he observed, lips barely an inch from your ear. “Something on your mind?”
You shook your head, but your voice came out quieter than you wanted. “Just… trying to get it right.”
“Mhm.” His hand slid from your waist to your thigh, resting there heavily.
Your breath caught.
When you didn’t answer, he hummed softly and leaned in until his lips ghosted along the shell of your ear.
“Keep playing,” he whispered.
You tried. Your fingers trembled on the strings as his palm slowly rubbed up and down your thigh, inching higher each time.
The heat of his body behind you was overwhelming. You could feel him getting hard against your ass, the firm outline pressing insistently every time you shifted.
“Han…” you breathed.
“Shh. Focus on the guitar, baby.” His voice was velvet and sin. He kissed the sensitive spot just below your ear—barely a press of lips, but it sent electricity straight between your legs. “You’re so fucking pretty when you’re trying to concentrate while I touch you.”
His hand finally slipped between your thighs, cupping you over your shorts. He groaned quietly at how warm and damp you already were.
He didn’t pull back. Instead, his gaze dropped to your lips for a second before returning to your eyes. “Tell me to stop and I will.”
You didn’t.
His fingers left the guitar strings and slid slowly up your thigh instead, warm and deliberate.
The instrument was gently set aside.
“Been thinking about this,” he admitted, voice husky as he leaned in and brushed his lips against your cheek. “Every time you bite your lip when you concentrate.”
He kissed your jaw, then lower, open-mouthed against your neck while his fingers slipped under the waistband of your shorts and panties. The first touch of his bare fingers against your slick folds drew a soft gasp from you. He groaned quietly against your skin.
“Fuck, you’re wet already,” he whispered, lips brushing your ear.
Two fingers glided along your entrance, teasing, coating themselves before he slowly pushed one inside.
You clenched around him instinctively. Jisung let out a shaky breath and kissed you properly this time—deep, slow, and hungry—his tongue sliding against yours as he began to move his finger in and out.
He added a second finger, curling them just right, stroking that spot that made your thighs tremble. His thumb found your clit and circled it with steady pressure. All while he kept kissing you—your mouth, the corner of your lips, your flushed cheek, then back down to suck lightly at your neck.
You moaned into his mouth as his pace quickened. The wet sound of his fingers pumping into you filled the quiet studio, obscene and intimate. Jisung pulled back just enough to watch your face, forehead resting against yours, eyes half-lidded and dark.
“Look at you,” he breathed, voice wrecked. “So pretty when you fall apart on my fingers.”
He kissed you again, harder this time, swallowing every whimper and moan while his fingers fucked into you faster, deeper. His other hand lightly on your neck, keeping you close as your hips started rolling to meet his thrusts.
You were close—embarrassingly close already—and he could feel it in the way you tightened around him.
“Come for me,” he murmured against your lips, thumb pressing firmer on your clit. “Let me feel it.”
Your orgasm hit hard, pulsing around his fingers as pleasure crashed through you. Jisung kept kissing you through it—soft, lingering presses on your mouth, your cheek, your throat—while his fingers slowed but didn’t stop, drawing out every last wave until you were trembling and breathless in his arms.
He finally eased his hand out, bringing his glistening fingers to his mouth and tasting you with a low, satisfied hum.
Then he smiled, that familiar Han Jisung grin, now dangerously satisfied.
“Still wanna keep practicing guitar?” he asked, voice rough. “Or should we move on to the next lesson?”
summary: when your boyfriend returns from tour, you're excited to tell him some life-altering news. but before you can say anything, he breaks up with you, leaving you heartbroken. little did you know that this decision was not really his own. when he learns you've been hospitalised, he rushes to you, keen on fixing things. {requested by anonymous}
genre: heavy angst! with a happy ending {~6k words}
warnings: pre-established relationship, heartbreak, pregnancy, miscarriage, miscommunication, mentions of blood and hospitals
you stared down at the two faint pink lines, the world tilting just a little as your breath caught in your throat. your fingers trembled, but not exactly from fear, something warmer settled in your chest. it didn’t feel wrong, didn’t feel like an accident. it felt… like the universe had simply nudged you into the future you were always meant to have.
the bathroom was silent around you, but your mind wasn’t, replaying moments with him. the mornings where jisung buried his face into your neck, mumbling half-asleep confessions you pretended not to hear just to let him keep talking.
the way he’d reach for you without looking, finding your hand as naturally as breathing.
the nights you spent with your head on his chest, counting the beats if his heart until you fell asleep. the warmth of his laugh when you stole the last bite off his plate.
the way he said your name like it belonged to him.
you had been together for years, but it never stopped feeling new. never stopped feeling right. you were comfortable with him in a way that wrapped itself around you like soft blanket. a home you carried in your heart.
so as you held the test, as the lines solidified and your vision blurred with disbelief and delight, you felt it clearly: this wasn’t a coincidence. and this was certainly not a mistake.
this was meant to be. just like the two of you.
when jisung left for tour a few weeks earlier, the apartment had felt too quiet, too still. you remembered standing with him at the airport, his hands cupping your cheeks like he was memorising the shape of you. he kept kissing your forehead, then your nose, then your lips, like he couldn’t decide which goodbye would last the longest. his smile was tired from rehearsals.
“i’ll be back before you know it,” he had whispered, his thumbs brushing your skin. “i’ll be waiting,” you had whispered back.
the first few days without him were a gentle ache, something you eased with late-night calls and the sound of his laugh crackling through the speaker. he sent you photos of messy dressing rooms, blurry crowds, tired selfies that still made your heart swell. each one a reminder that even half a world away, he was thinking of you.
and now, with the test resting in your trembling hand, excitement bloomed in your chest like something bright and unstoppable. you already tried to picture his expression when you told him. the disbelief hopefully melting into joy. the way his eyes would shine. he would be home in a few days. you just had to wait a little longer.
but while you waited, the world seemed determined to shift beneath your feet.
ever since that airport goodbye, which was captured by a few too many cameras, dissected by people who didn’t know you, rumours had grown louder. it wasn’t that your relationship was a secret, it simply wasn’t something either of you had ever announced. but people connected dots like they always did. and lately, they connected them with far too much enthusiasm.
your name trended more. speculative posts multiplied. strangers built stories from shadows and guesses, and suddenly your quiet life didn’t feel so quiet anymore.
you told yourself it didn’t matter. that nothing could shake what you and jisung had. he would come home soon. you would tell him. and everything would fall into place. it had to. because it was meant to be.
but fate had something different in mind.
it happened at the end of the tour, right when jisung should’ve been glowing with the high of the final stage, buzzing with adrenaline and relief. instead, he was called into a quiet corner room the day after the last concert. one day before the flight back home.
jisung sat stiffly on a folding chair, clutching a water bottle he never opened. his manager pacing slowly, choosing words with a carefulness that made everything feel worse. it was an ultimatum.
"the rumours are getting out of control."
"the company can’t risk this right now."
"you need to end it."
"or we’ll have to reconsider your contract."
and jisung, who always swallowed his hurt to keep the peace, didn’t swallow it this time. he fought.
his eyebrows pulled together as he told him no. he told him he wouldn’t do that. he told him he loved you.
the manager didn’t shout back. he just repeated it. something along the lines of: "it’s either the relationship or your career."
jisung’s world tilted then, the walls closing in as every dream he ever had pressed against every moment he ever spent with you. his throat tightening. his thoughts twisting into knots.
because you weren’t just someone he dated. you were the part of his life that felt real and ...chosen. and music? the stage, the boys, the years of sweat and work? it was the dream he’d built since he was a kid.
he sat there in silence long after the manager left, gripping that unopened water bottle until the plastic dented under his fingers. the heaviness of the choice pressed into his ribs, into his heartbeat, until breathing felt like a chore.
and still, even then, he refused to picture a future without you. but the seed of fear had been planted. and it would only grow in the night to come.
the flight home should’ve been a welcoming feeling. but jisung sat awake in the dim cabin light, hood pulled over his head like he could hide from his own thoughts.
he hadn’t slept since that conversation. not really. every time he closed his eyes, he saw you. your smile. your soft goodbyes at the airport. the way your fingers lingered in his hoodie sleeve like you didn’t want to let go. and the thought of losing that, of losing you, hit him with a sharpness that nearly stole his breath.
he pressed his fist to his mouth, trying to ground himself, but the ache in his chest only grew heavier. the manager’s voice kept looping in his mind:
"it’s either the relationship or your contract."
he wanted to scream every time he remembered it.
jisung wasn’t naïve, he knew the industry was cruel sometimes. but he had never imagined being asked to carve you out of his life like you were some kind of problem. the thought made his stomach twist, made his heart choke on itself.
he thought about how happy you always looked when he came home, how your face lit up at the sound of his key in the door to your apartment. the key you had given him about a year ago. how you let him collapse into your arms after long days without asking for anything in return. how you kissed his forehead like he was something worth loving.
you always told him his dream mattered. you always supported him, even when it meant long nights alone. you always told him you were proud. and that was what broke him most.
because as much as he wanted to choose you, he knew you would never let him give up his music, not for you, not for anything. you would rather walk away yourself than let him resent you for losing his dream.
so he pictured telling you the truth. pictured the heartbreak on your face. pictured your soft, steady voice saying: “you can’t choose me. you know you can’t.” the image gutted him.
he curled tighter in his seat, nails digging into his palms, trying to breathe through the shaking in his chest. he hadn’t told the members. he hadn’t told anyone. he couldn't. the loneliness of that choice pressed down on him until he felt small, like a child again, lost and terrified of the dark.
every mile the plane crawled towards seoul, the dread grew thicker. he imagined unlocking your apartment door and seeing your shoes by the entrance, neatly placed like always. imagined you looking up from the couch, smile spreading, arms open for him.
and he imagined breaking that smile. shattering it. shattering you.
the thought made a sound claw its way up his throat, something between a sob and a gasp. he covered his face with both hands, shoulders shaking silently as the members slept beside him, unaware.
you deserved honesty. you deserved love. you deserved someone who chose you again and again.
jisung wanted, needed, to be that person. but he wasn’t allowed. not anymore.
so he made the decision that felt like ripping his own heart out. he would do it fast. he would be the asshole. he would take all the pain so you didn’t have to. he'd make you hate him so it wouldn't break you even more.
but even as he tried to convince himself it was the right thing, tears slipped between his fingers, warmer than the cabin air. he wasn’t sure he’d survive the moment he had to let you go.
you spent the whole morning preparing without even realising you were doing it, pacing the apartment, fixing your hair, rearranging the little plastic bag in your purse until it sat just right, hidden but close. your hands kept brushing against it, each time sending a flutter through your chest.
you checked the time over and over. he should’ve landed by now. he should’ve been on his way home.
you kept imagining the moment you’d see him again, his arms opening for you. that soft, relieved laugh he always gave when he finally got to pull you against him.
the walk to his building felt longer than usual, the air cool against your cheeks, your pulse warm beneath your skin. you rehearsed the words in your mind, the little smile, the way you’d take his hand first before telling him...
you knocked once. the door opened almost instantly, like he’d been standing right behind it. and the world dropped.
jisung looked… broken. not tired. not jet-lagged. broken.
his eyes were swollen, red around the edges, lashes stuck together like he’d wiped at them too many times. his cheeks blotchy. his mouth pulled into something that wasn’t quite a frown, wasn’t quite anything at all. just the expression of someone barely holding on. your smile faltered. “sungie…?”
he stepped back to let you in but didn’t touch you. didn’t greet you the way he always did, with a kiss to your temple, a soft brush of fingers at your waist, a whispered i missed you.
the space between you felt wrong. you set your bag down slowly. “are you okay? what hap–"
“we need to break up.”
the words hit with no warning, no build-up, no explanation. just a blade dropped directly into your chest. you stared at him, certain you misheard. “what?”
he didn’t look at you when he said it again. “we have to break up.”
your heart thudded painfully once, like it skipped, like it fell. your mouth opened but nothing came out at first, your brain scrambling to catch up with the moment. “jisung, what are you talking about?” you stepped forward instinctively, reaching for him.
he stepped back. it felt like the floor split under your feet. "i’m sorry,” he whispered, voice thin and frayed. “it’s better if we end it now.”
“better for who?” your voice cracked as the panic rose, your throat burning. “jisung, please. just tell me what’s going on. did i– did something happen? did i do something?”
“no.” his voice broke on the word, so small it barely existed. “no, it’s not you. it’s just… it has to be this way.”
the room blurred for a moment, tears stinging even before they fell. your hand drifted to your stomach without thinking, hovering there, the weight of the secret you carried suddenly crushing.
“you came home and decided this? just like that?” you asked, breath unsteady, disbelief choking your words. he swallowed hard, eyes flicking away like he couldn’t bear to look at you. “i’ll call you a taxi. you don’t have to walk in the rain.”
the sentence was so cold, so unlike him. that was the final twist of the knife. your body moved before your mind did. you grabbed your bag, ignoring the way your vision swam, ignoring the soft pleading in his voice as he called your name.
you walked past him. past the doorway. past the rain hitting the pavement. you didn’t look back. you couldn’t.
behind you, you heard him choke out a quiet, broken sound. one you had never heard from him before. it followed you down the stairs, through the lobby, out into the storm.
you didn’t remember the walk home. not the streets you crossed, not the rain soaking through your clothes, not the way your hands shook as you unlocked your door. everything felt muted and distant. like the world had been dipped underwater.
but the moment you stepped inside, the silence roared. your chest tightened so sharply it hurt. your knees buckled before you even reached the couch, your hands clutching at your shirt as if that could hold the pieces of your heart together.
the first wave was heartbreak. the second was confusion. the third was anger. pure, stinging, disbelieving anger.
how could he do that?
how could he look at you with those broken eyes and then shatter you without an explanation?
how could he come home after weeks apart and decide you weren’t worth fighting for? your mind spiraled in ugly circles.
did someone catch his eye on tour?
someone prettier? quieter? more exciting?
someone who didn’t come with rumours and complications?
did he replace you before he even got home?
the thoughts tore through you, each one sharper than the last. you hated them, hated how easily insecurity slipped into your bloodstream like poison. but you couldn’t stop.
and maybe that was why, with tears still burning in your eyes and your pulse pounding against your ribs, you did the one thing you never thought you’d do. you blocked his number.
you pressed a hand to your stomach, your breath stuttering as terror crashed over you, harsher than any emotion before. you were going to do this alone. raise a child, his child, without him. without support. without answers. without a partner.
your vision blurred, your body shaking as you collapsed onto the couch, curling into yourself as the truth clawed through your chest. you were alone. completely, terrifyingly alone.
jisung broke the moment your silhouette disappeared into the rain.
he collapsed against his door the second it shut, sliding to the floor with a strangled sound he couldn’t swallow down. he had cried on the plane, at the airport, in the car ride home, but nothing compared to the way he sobbed now.
you were gone. he’d done it.
“fuck–" he choked out, dragging his fingers through his hair, gripping until it hurt. what the fuck did i do?
he pressed his forehead into his knees, body shaking violently. his chest felt too tight, his breathing uneven, panic clawing at him in frantic waves. he wanted to run after you, wanted to take it back, wanted to tell you everything, but he had frozen. he had watched you walk away.
suddenly, another realisation hit him: you deserved the truth. you deserved everything. and he’d given you nothing.
“i’m such an idiot,” he whispered, voice raw. “i’m such a fucking idiot.”
his hand curled into a fist before he could stop it, and he slammed it against the wall. pain shot up his arm, but he wanted it. he wanted something physical, something real, something that could match even a fraction of the agony ripping him apart inside.
“she deserved to know,” he spat, tears dripping onto the floor. “she deserved– fuck, she deserved more than this. more than me.”
he grabbed his phone with trembling hands, pressing your name, waiting. straight to voicemail.
again. and again. and again.
his breaths came faster, sharper, panic spiking each time the call failed. he texted you, paragraphs of apologies, explanations, anything that might reach you.
message failed to send.
the days that followed were worse than any nightmare he could’ve imagined.
his eyes stayed red and swollen. sleep never came. his stomach twisted too much to eat. he cried at night until his pillow was damp and cold.
anxiety took over every second. his hands shook constantly. he couldn’t focus, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t exist without feeling the weight of losing you crush him.
the members noticed immediately. chan tried to talk to him. jisung snapped. minho tried to make a joke. jisung snapped. felix brought him tea. jisung snapped.
he wasn’t himself anymore. he was a ghost orbiting the space where you used to be. and every hour, every day, he replayed the same thought until it hollowed him out completely:
he made the biggest mistake of his life.
and he had no idea how to fix it.
weeks later, pain woke you in the middle of the night, clutching your stomach, breath punched out of you. the sheets beneath you were damp, warm, and when you looked down, your heart stopped.
blood. too much blood.
your hands shook violently as you fumbled for your phone, panic buzzing in your ears. you called the only person you could think of: your best friend. she was at your door within minutes, hair messy, voice frantic, arms steady as she guided you through your own front door.
“you’re okay. you’re okay. it’s gonna be okay,” she kept repeating, but you could hear the crack in her voice, the fear she tried to hide.
the hospital lights were too bright. doctors and nurses moved fast, voices blending into a blur as they rushed you into a room, checked vitals, whispered things you couldn’t decipher.
the doctor’s voice softened, the nurse’s hand found your arm. and the words you feared, the ones you tried not to think about, finally came.
“i’m so sorry. you’ve miscarried.”
the earth crumbled beneath you. everything inside you broke in half, pain splintering through your chest, a hollow scream trapped behind your ribs. tears blurred the room, your breath shaking so violently you thought you might pass out. the nurse wrapped an arm around your shoulders, murmuring quiet comforts, but nothing could reach you. nothing could soften the blow. your baby was gone.
you didn’t realise you were sobbing until your throat ached, until your cheeks were soaked, until your best friend cried with you, holding your trembling hands.
the obgyn spoke gently, telling you they needed to monitor you for a few days. that your body needed time. that you weren’t safe to go home yet. you nodded. you barely heard her.
that night, you lay alone in the cold hospital bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark. the sheets were stiff. the room felt hollow. your body felt like an empty shell. maybe this was fate, you thought.
a cruel, twisted way of confirming what you were terrified to admit. maybe you and jisung were never meant to be. you cried until your tears ran dry, until your eyes burned, until exhaustion dragged you into sleep.
morning came too soon. a nurse helped you out of bed, guided you downstairs for another examination. you were weak, dizzy, moving like a ghost in your own skin. she sat you on a metal chair in the hallway, telling you softly that the doctor would be with you shortly.
you folded in on yourself, hands clasped, eyes unfocused. you felt hollow, drained of tears, drained of hope, drained of everything.
the hallway buzzed with movement. the emergency wing was only a few steps away, paramedics rushing people in, nurses wheeling beds past, voices echoing, machines beeping.
you were staring at the floor when a familiar voice broke through the noise: “…huh?”
you looked up. changbin stood there on crutches, eyebrows raised, eyes wide with surprise. he looked just as startled as you felt.
you both said it at the same time: “what are you doing here?”
he lifted the crutches a little with a sheepish grin. “uhh… i dropped a weight at the gym. on my foot. don’t ask.” his attempt to joke actually pulled a tiny breath of laughter from you. his grin softened.
but then he looked at you properly, his smile fading.
you knew how you must have looked. pale, exhausted, eyes puffy, hands trembling in your lap. you tried to straighten your posture, tried to force something like normalcy into your face.
“i’m okay,” you lied, voice thin. “just… a check-up.”
changbin’s eyebrows pulled together. concern softened every line of his face. “you sure? you don’t... you don’t look okay.”
you opened your mouth to reassure him again, but your voice cracked halfway through. your smile crumbled. the tremble in your hands grew more obvious, your breath unsteady.
before he could ask more, before you could break entirely, the nurse appeared beside you, calling you into the examination room.
you stood slowly, gripping the edge of the chair for balance. changbin watched you, eyes dark with worry, his knuckles white around the crutch handles. "text me,” he said quietly, firmly. “please.”
you gave him the smallest nod you could manage before following the nurse into the examination room. and changbin stayed there. staring at the closed door. dread sinking deep into his ches.
because he knew something was very wrong. far worse than a check-up could explain.
the moment the examination room door shut behind you, changbin didn’t even hesitate, he dug his phone out of his pocket with shaking hands. his heart hammered as he typed.
jisung was hunched over a notebook in the studio, pen hovering uselessly above the page. chan sat beside him, headphones around his neck, trying to adjust a melody on his laptop. the room was quiet except for the soft clicking of keys and the faint hum of an unproductive afternoon.
jisung had been trying all day. trying to write, trying to focus, trying to force lyrics that weren’t soaked in pain and regret. but every word kept circling back to you. to the look in your eyes. to the moment you walked away from him.
his phone buzzed. he didn’t think much of it at first, probably a reminder, a schedule update, something mundane. he glanced down, expecting nothing.
but the second he saw changbin’s message, the world tilted. his breath caught sharply in his chest, loud enough that chan’s fingers froze over the keyboard.
"han?” chan shifted in his chair. “what’s wrong?”
but jisung didn’t answer. couldn’t. the words on the screen blurred for a moment as panic surged up his spine so violently he felt sick.
his phone slipped slightly in his grip as cold spread through his entire body. his first instinct was to call you, muscle memory, heart memory, but when he pressed your name, the call failed instantly.
blocked. like every time.
a choked sound scraped out of his throat. chan sat up straighter, eyes widening. “han, talk to me–"
jisung didn’t hear him. he immediately called changbin instead, pacing in frantic circles as the line rang once, twice, before he picked up.
“which hospital?” jisung’s voice cracked, “please– please just tell me where–"
changbin didn’t hesitate to give him the hospital's name and jisung didn’t wait for the call to finish. he grabbed his hoodie and keys in one motion.
but jisung couldn’t speak. he couldn’t breathe around the panic clawing up his throat. every second felt like a countdown, every heartbeat like a threat. he shoved open the studio door so hard it slammed into the wall, sprinting down the hallway with tears already burning behind his eyes.
“han!” chan called after him, footsteps quickening. “answer me!” but jisung didn’t slow. he didn’t look back. he didn’t process anything except one truth: you were in the hospital. and he had already failed you once. he wasn’t going to fail you again.
he reached the hospital doors heaving for air, lungs burning, vision tunneling. he nearly slipped on the polished floor as he rushed to the front desk, asking for your room number. the nurse blinked at his desperation, fingers flying over the keyboard. she read the screen, then looked back up, expression softening.
“room 314." he didn’t even thank her, just sprinted towards the lifts. but he didn’t wait for the elevator. didn’t think. didn’t breathe. he shoved open the stairwell door and took the steps two at a time, his feet pounding on the concrete, heart slamming against his ribs.
by the time he reached the third floor, he nearly tripped from the speed, catching himself on the railing. he looked up. gynaecology wing.
he pushed through them so fast the hinges rattled, eyes scanning wildly for your room number.
310. 311. 312.
he shoved the door open, but your room was empty.
his chest collapsed inward. he stepped further into the room, swallowing hard, his pulse roaring in his ears. the sheets were rumpled from where you’d been sitting. the lights were dimmed. your favourite book lay on the bedside table, a folded tissue marking your page.
on the chair by the window lay his hoodie. the grey one he’d "lost" years ago. the one you claimed had “migrated” to your closet and never found its way back. the one that had always looked better on you anyway.
his fingers trembled as he lifted it. the fabric was soft, and it smelled like you.
the scent hit him so hard he almost broke in half. he clutched it to his chest, sinking onto the chair, breath stuttering, tears spilling before he could blink them away. he buried his face in the hood, shaking, inhaling like it was the last bit of air left on earth.
he didn’t hear the footsteps. but he heard the door click shut. his head shot up, hoodie still clutched in his fists.
you stood there, frozen in place, eyes swollen, face pale, body fragile in a way that made his heart stop entirely.
jisung choked out your name, stumbling to his feet so fast the chair scraped loudly behind him. “i– i– what happened? what– are you okay?? what happened?" he repeated the question again and again, voice rising with panic, as if asking enough times would rewind time, would make this something small, something fixable.
you opened your mouth, but the tears came first. they slid down your cheeks silently at first, then faster, unstoppable. jisung stepped forward on instinct, arms reaching out. you nearly collapsed.
he caught you immediately, arms wrapping around you with a desperation that bordered on frantic. he held you upright, held you against him, his heart breaking at every sob that shook through your body.
“jagi– please, tell me–"
your voice cracked into pieces. “we– i– i lost the baby.” the words were quiet, but they detonated inside him.
jisung’s whole body reeled backward, like someone had physically struck him. he sucked in a sharp breath that didn’t reach his lungs, his hand flying out to grab the bedframe to stop himself from falling. the other hand covered his mouth, fingers trembling violently.
his eyes widened, and for one terrible second he couldn’t breathe.
the realisation didn’t come gently. it slammed into him mercilessly.
his mind raced, every memory, every moment from the past weeks snapping together with brutal clarity.
the lingering nausea you’d brushed off during your calls while he was on tour. the way you’d been extra tired. you had known. you had probably already known the day he broke your heart.
you’d come to him with something life-changing. so terrifying. so beautiful. you’d probably planned to tell him.
and he’d left you. left you alone. alone with fear. alone with your baby. alone to suffer. alone to lose the child he didn’t even know he’d been dreaming of until this exact moment.
“why… why didn’t you tell me…” he whispered, voice cracking painfully. but even as the words left him, the answer hit him like another punch to the chest:
you couldn’t. because he’d been an asshole. because he’d walked away without explanation, without giving you a reason to trust him with something so terrifying. because he’d made you believe he didn’t want you. didn’t love you. didn’t want a future with you.
jisung’s knees nearly buckled. he forced himself forward instead, gathering you into his arms again, more gently this time but with desperation. he held you so tightly his own ribs ached, burying his face into the curve of your neck like it was the only place he could breathe.
“i’m sorry,” he choked out, voice shattered, breath warm against your skin. “i’m so sorry.” his shoulders shook with the force of his sobs. apologies collapsed out of him in broken whispers, spilling into your hair, into your skin.
“i’m sorry,” he repeated, again and again, each one rawer than the last.
“i’m sorry i wasn’t there.”
“i’m sorry you were alone.”
“i’m sorry for everything.”
“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m so fucking sorry–"
his tears soaked your shoulder as he held you like a man begging the universe for forgiveness, for another chance.
he’d lost everything. and he knew he didn’t deserve your forgiveness but needed it so badly it hurt to breath. like his heart had split open right there in that hospital room.
and through it all, he kept whispering your name, voice trembling, arms locked around you as if letting go even for a second would make you disappear too.
he leaned in, pressing a trembling kiss to your forehead before guiding you slowly towards the bed. his hands were gentle, like he was afraid you might break if he moved too fast. he eased you down onto the mattress, then sat beside you, knees touching yours.
his hand found yours instantly, fingers lacing through, thumb brushing soft, soothing strokes against your skin. “you could have told me,” he whispered, voice so fragile it sounded like it might crack in half. “we could have figured it out together.”
you swallowed hard, eyes burning. “you left me, jisung.” your voice shook. “i thought something had happened. maybe you’d found someone else. and if that someone made you happy, then i didn’t want to wreck that with the news.”
jisung froze. completely. his breath hitched painfully and his hands stilled around yours. his whole expression shattered in front of you, disbelief and heartbreak flooding his features all at once.
that’s what you thought?
that he left you because he didn’t love you?
that he found someone better?
and why on earth had you still put his happiness first?
a wounded sound escaped him. his chest felt like it was being crushed. how could you believe that? how could he have hurt you so deeply that your mind went there?
he shook his head hard, jaw tightening, tears stinging his eyes again. “no,” he rasped, voice breaking. “fuck no.” he squeezed your hands tighter, grounding himself through your touch because otherwise he wasn’t sure he’d stay upright.
“I tried calling you,” he said, breath trembling. “after the breakup. after i realised how unbelievably stupid i'd been. how cruel. how cowardly.”
your fingers twitched in his grip. "i wanted to explain. to make this right." so he continued, because you deserved everything. “they gave me an ultimatum.” his voice dropped, weighted with shame. “your name had been in the rumours more. the company didn’t like it. they told me to end things or risk my contract.”
your eyes widened. jisung looked away for a second, like he couldn’t bear to see your hurt, but he forced himself to meet your gaze again.
“i wanted to tell them to fuck off,” he admitted, voice shaking. “i wanted to choose you. god, i absolutely would have chosen you. in every universe, in every lifetime, i would always choose you.” your breath stuttered.
“but i know you, jagi,” he whispered. “too well. you’d never let me throw away my dream. not for you. not for anyone. you would have pushed me away before letting that happen. and then you would’ve lived with the guilt forever.” his voice cracked.
“i didn’t want that. i thought… if i ended things like an asshole, you’d hate me. and it would be easier. easier to let go. easier to heal.”
a broken sound tore out of you, your forehead dropping to his shoulder. instantly, jisung wrapped his arm around you, pulling you into his chest, his other hand sliding to the back of your head to stroke gently through your hair.
“i regretted it before i even did it,” he murmured into your hair, voice trembling. “but when you walked out that door… i felt something in me break. everything was empty. nothing felt real.”
his hand tightened in your hair. “and knowing what you were going through alone... what we could’ve had…” his voice shattered. “our baby. our little family. everything i've ever dreamed of. i ruined it. i ruined everything.”
your chest ached. the guilt twisted deep. “i’m sorry i lost it,” you whispered. he moved before you could finish. his hands framed your face, thumbs brushing your cheeks with trembling urgency. “look at me,” he whispered.
you lifted your eyes to his, vision blurred with tears. jisung’s gaze softened, loving and terrified all at once. “none of this,” he said firmly, “absolutely none of this is your fault. okay?” you swallowed, tears slipping down your cheeks.
“losing the baby… that wasn’t you. that wasn’t something you caused. that’s just nature’s cruel way of showing us how unpredictable life is.” his voice wavered, but he kept going. “you did nothing wrong. nothing.” his thumb caught a tear falling down your cheek.
“promise me you won’t blame yourself,” he pleaded quietly, dread woven through every word. “please. promise me.” he looked like he was bracing for the world to end if you said anything else. you couldn’t promise him. your throat closed around the words, around the guilt, around everything that still felt too heavy. so you said nothing.
you just leaned into his touch, into the warmth of his palms cradling your face, like your body remembered him even when your mind was still fractured.
“baby…” he whispered, his voice trembling, his forehead dipping to yours like he needed the closeness to breathe.
you blinked slowly, heart aching, voice nothing more than a cracked whisper against the space between you. “you still feel like home.”
jisung’s breath hitched. his heart stuttered in his chest, ike the words reached some deep, untouched part of him he’d been afraid he’d lost forever.
his thumb traced along your cheek again, before he leaned in hesitantly.
and then he closed the tiny distance between you. his lips found yours in a kiss so gentle it almost hurt. it felt like an apology. like a confession. like a plea.
“don't ever think i've stopped loving you,” he whispered against your lips, voice breaking. “because i never did. never stopped imagining my life with you. you’re all i want.” he kissed you again. and you felt something in you melt.
his hands slid to cup your jaw, his thumbs brushing tiny circles into your skin, grounding you, anchoring you. you leaned into him without thinking. your fingers curled weakly in the fabric of his hoodie.
jisung exhaled shakily against your mouth.
“you’re my future,” he breathed, kissing you again, this time deeper. “and i won’t let anyone take that away from me. never again.”
“jisung, don’t,” you whispered, voice trembling. “don’t risk your–" he pulled back just enough to shake his head, gently but firmly. “na-ah,” he murmured, brushing his nose against yours. “i won’t let you make that decision for me.”
his forehead pressed to yours again, his hands firm on your cheeks like he was keeping you from slipping away. “i won’t let them make that decision for us.”
another kiss. a vow sealed with trembling lips and salt-stained cheeks. a kiss that said he was choosing you. because he wasn't going to make that mistake again. never again.
SYNOPSIS: Moving back home after unforeseen circumstances is hard enough as a 23 year old. But when you run into your childhood friend who you cut off all contact with now playing shows with his band that have apparently gained quite the reputation, you're forced to reevaluate the life that you left behind. And all of the doors you left wide open.
WORD COUNT: 28k (oops)
WARNINGS: humor, fluff, angst (kinda a lot of it), smut (MDNI), dry humping, thigh fucking, fingering, nipple play, light sub/dom play, vaginal sex (unprotected but pls wrap it when you tap it), characters might be a bit frustrating at some points, y/n deals with a lot of self hatred
NOTES: this is one of my proudest works while simultaneously being the longest! | was hoping to release earlier but I was severely sick two days ago while finishing it up, I hope you don't mind the delay!
explore the 𝑹𝑶𝑪𝑲𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑬𝑺 here!
spotify playlist that helped inspire me while writing can be found here
Part One: Late November
All I Think About Now
☆ 💫 ☆
“I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life,” He breathed out, his gaze sincere and intimate. It were as if you two were the only beings left in the world, he’d always had the ability to create such an environment for just the two of you. You reached forward—
“Long time no see, Y/N.” You heard the familiar voice from behind you, pulling you from your very heavy mind. You’d felt uneasy since the second the plane landed, your memories flooding back to you with zero remorse.
You turned to face her, the luggage in your hands weighing them down enough that you only gave a polite bow. You’d hoped that you came off nice enough and not like you were awkwardly avoiding any physical contact after not having spoken to your friend for so long. Even if thats exactly why you hadn’t met her eyes for longer than three seconds at a time.
She sucked her teeth playfully, “Is that any way to greet your friend?”
You couldn’t help but smile, her tone all so familiar and comforting. “Hi Giselle—“
”Aeri,” she cut you off pulling you in for a tight hug. “My closest friends call me Aeri.”
You let out a sigh of relief, allowing yourself to hug her back even after you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t cause anymore trouble than you already had before booking the first flight out. “Aeri, i’m sorry to call you so abruptly.”
She shakes her head that you’d only now noticed was pink as she pulled away from the hug, “Don’t say sorry you idiot. I’m glad you called even though I was like ninety percent sure it was a prank call when you asked for a ride from Seoul Airport.”
Your cheeks reddened, to be fair you weren’t exactly the type to pull off spontaneous trips. It was just as uncharacteristic to her as it was to you, though you weren’t really the type to prank call either.
”This way,” she slid one of the carriers out of your grip, dragging it as she made her way through the terminal.
The drive was silent apart from the sound of the air flowing out of the air conditioning and the occasional sorry Aeri offered when she turned a little too close to the edge, driving over the curb. You hadn’t anticipated the easiest reunion after the years that had gone by, but as the seconds went by you only felt more awkwardly trapped within the Toyota.
You’d been overthinking over what to say for the past ten minutes your mouth agape with hesitation until you finally built up the courage. “You dyed your hair.”
Aeri giggled, flicking the blinker as she made yet another sharp turn. “Yeah like two years ago.”
Your heart sank, thats right you had seen it on her instagram story last Halloween right before closing the app at the sight of—no that didnt matter. It shouldn’t at least.
“I’m sorry,” you stuttered, only making her giggle more.
”You’re so awkward now,” she spoke through the laughs.”What did they do to you in France.”
You pouted, the place you’d been at more than twenty four hours ago had been alright to say the least besides the rude pedestrians and pitpockets. “What do you mean you’re the one who’s been acting so normal! Pretending like nothing’s changed when I haven’t seen you for five years.” You crossed your arms, burning holes through the side of her face.
She hummed playfully, “And who’s fault is that?” The words stung which was certainly not her intention yet caused you to fall silent. She wasn’t wrong, if anyone were to blame it was definitely you.
“Hey,” She called out, her voice regretful. “I’m just kidding you know, seriously there’s no reason to be so awkward.” She spared you a quick glance with an apologetic smile, “You’re overthinking it, i’m not mad you made it out of this shit town. Hell, I would’ve done the same.
“So why didn’t you?” You ask, curious. Aeri had always wanted to travel, it’d been her dream since diapers.
She shakes her head, “You talk like we don’t have the rest of the world ahead of us.”
You bit your tongue, maybe for her it was that way, for you the future had different plans. You nod, the rest of the conversation falling into another silence. “I’m acting normal because everything is normal. Don’t think of this as time lost think of it as time catching up.”
Before you can get a word out she continues,”And I wasn’t like trying to make things awkward. Just thought silence fit the whole angsty quarter life crisis vibe you’re going through right now,” She jokes.
”I’m not the one who turned twenty five this year.” You deadpan causing her to gasp.
“Oh wow you’re not that far off I hope you know that.” She replies, the two of you laughing together. You both had a way of poking at each other, of course knowing when to stop, but in most cases it wasn’t ever necessary. It was the way the two of you showed love.
“I’m guessing i’m the only one you’ve told?”
Aeri was always very attentive so you were sure she’d have figured it out before the week ended, you’d only wished she could’ve at least realized after you’d had showered and changed into clothes that weren’t full of sweat.
“Yeah.” You felt your heart racing in fear of her mentioning his name.
“Wow I still have best friend privileges then?” She jokes, helping ease your stress a little more.
“You never lost them.”
“Right, well that must mean something then.” She smiles, before adding. “It’s the same for me, even now you’re still my best friend. I tell everyone, even told my friend Renjun before heading this way.”
You smiled, she had answered the phone quicker than you expected and before the phone call ended had already stated she was on the way. You were grateful even if in that back of your mind you had already known that she wouldn’t have just left you alone. It was even stupid for you to think that things had changed in the first place, Aeri wasn’t going to drive an hour away into Seoul for just anyone on a Friday.
“Renjun is?” You ask, curious about what she had been up to before she had picked you up.
“Oh he’s a cool guy I met doing some volunteer work for the Children’s Art program. He was a bit annoyed about me leaving right as we were getting ready for tonight but he shut up when I told him it’s cause I was coming to get you.”
“He knows me?” The thought scares you. Other people you’ve never met perceiving you was not really something any introvert would want.
“Yeah well me and Ning talk about you a lot.”
Ningning. You’d more recently seen her in person about a year ago. Her family had some business to take care of in France so you had the chance to have brunch with her before she was on her way out of the country.
“I hope I get to meet him.”
Her eyes light up, the next turn sharp enough to make your body slide over from one side of the seat to the next. “You can tonight! We were going to go over to some bar later on and getting drinks.”
“Aeri I have nothing to wear.”
“You can borrow some of my clothes!”
You groan in frustration, she was still the stubborn type. “I’m not really in the mood to socialize right now.” That wasn’t exactly the full truth but you’d rather get ran over than admit the real reason.
“I think it’ll do you good.” The rose haired girl replies, eyeing you through her peripherals. “I’m like one hundred percent sure that your grandma has zero idea that you’re even here right?”
Your silence tells her enough to know that she’s correct in that assumption. “It’ll be fun! You can wipe that kicked puppy look off of your face and get to socializing! Ning will be there too! It’ll be like you never left.”
You sigh. It wasn’t that you were avoiding contact with anyone from your past it’s just that you were avoiding seeing him.
Truth be told you really didn’t even know what made you come back here in the first place. Things were even more messy than they were in France right now, and that was a lot to say considering that you hadn’t replied to a single missed call from your mother.
You’d get around to it eventually. For now you just needed an escape. If your grandma knew she would tell you to not argue with your mom and go back home. But you didn’t want whatever kind of home that was supposed to be you wanted–
“Fine.” You spoke before you could even finish your thought. “I’ll go.”
Aeri squealed in excitement, pulling her phone out as soon as the two of you reached a red light to call and let everyone know that she had a very important person she was bringing over.
You hoped tonight could be a night of silence. You’d been thinking way too much about everything the past few days, it was important that you cleared your mind before your thoughts fried it. You weren’t sure how much time you had left before you had to come to terms with reality. France was where you were supposed to be no matter how differently you wish it were.
You were here for clarity, not for your own personal gain despite the urge to reach out because what you wanted wasn’t going to happen. Not after things ended so horribly.
You at least owed him that.
☆ 🎸 ☆
“You okay man? You’ve been playing that same chord progression for the past thirty minutes.”
“Leave him alone he’s just pissy because his last hookup tried the groupie route.”
That wasn’t exactly true. Naeun seemed like a pretty sweet girl but she had a score she was hoping to reach and Jisung wasn’t interested in fucking a girl who planned on hopping on his bandmates afterwards.
“I told you man,” He feels the weight of his friend's arm on his shoulder, sighing in annoyance at the familiar action. “You should be more like Jeno, tell them you’re only hitting it once and then you’re done.”
“That’s not at all what I say.”
Jisung could hear the scattered laughs from around him, breaking the cocoon of peace he’d been in while strumming to his own tune on the bass.
Most of the band’s rehearsals began this way. He’d be in his own funk until the rest of them snapped him out of it, usually by poking at him until he finally gave them attention, and then they’d all practice. Only now, instead of ten minutes of being in his own world he’d somewhere along the way picked up the habit of playing for over twenty minutes, now thirty, all by himself.
It wasn’t that it affected the group’s intense practice schedules, actually he’d argue that Donghyuck’s habit of bringing his latest hookup for an exclusive behind the scenes tour was much more disruptive. It was, however, becoming increasingly irritating to himself. He couldn’t shake off the feeling that something bad was going to happen.
Jisung was no psychic but he at least had some kind of intuition. It came with having a Scorpio Moon, or whatever Jaemin had told him when he was hanging out with the tarot card girl.
“Are you good?” Mark asked, his words full of concern yet low enough that only Jisung could hear him as the others continued to mess around paying them two no more attention.
Mark had pretty easily taken on the leader role when this whole band came about, being the eldest of the group and also the voice of reason. The lead guitarist was known for his friendly demeanor and knowing just about everyone, which made it easier for him to book gigs all over the place.
That’s also how the two met, Jisung having covered for the older’s friend’s band, Frequency, when their bassist caught food poisoning three days before they had to do a grand show two cities over.
If it weren’t for meeting Mark then it would’ve been safe to bet that Jisung would’ve given up on his dream of playing in a band. He was eternally grateful even now, which is why he’d grown more frustrated at himself. It was unfair to space out all the time, but it was even more unfair that he couldn’t get his own head straight all the time. He had to get his head straight, he couldn’t run Oblivion into the ground.
His breath was shaky. “I’m fine.” He answered, much less tranquil than he’d hoped for but it got the point across. Mark gave a tight smile, choosing to accept the pretense, before clapping loud enough to disrupt the other’s shenanigans.
The guys turned their attention to Mark, who had made his way over to where his guitar stood. “Come on guys, it’s time we take things a little more seriously.”
“It’s nothing we haven’t played before,” Donghyuck started, his confidence high and sprung as always. “We have practiced these songs more times than i’ve seen my mother.”
“Doesn’t mean we’ve mastered anything,” Mark replies swiftly. “This is the most packed schedule we have these next couple of months. We have a couple of venues sold out, that festival downtown in a few weeks, not to mention the fact that we’ve been needing new music since forever.”
“Songwriting isn’t exactly my forte,” Jeno retorted, taking a seat and adjusting the cymbals on his drums.
“Doesn’t matter, practicing beats sitting around and doing nothing.”
“Doesn’t Jeno do that anyway?” Jaemin teases, picking up his guitar and sliding the strap over his shoulder.
The drummer responds with his signature smile and his middle finger raised.
“Let’s make things easy for Markie,” Donghyuck grabbed his mic from off of the stand. “Start with Déjà Vu?”
Jisung starts with the bass line, the familiar weight of the tune soothing his head as the others join in. It was easy to get lost in their music, rock was always his safe space.
The music built up, Donghyuck’s vocals filling the space around them. They’d rehearsed the song so many times it came to them all like muscle memory at this point, the five of them having some of the best musical chemistry ever.
The bridge was coming up when Jisung’s mind blanked. His fingers faltered over the strings, not enough to make the others stop playing but enough to garner questioning glances. He came in once again right before the ending chorus, all of them playing as if he hadn’t just ruined the entire practice performance.
He tried to stay focused on the music but as the song neared its end it only broke the illusion Jisung had put himself under. There was really no way he could keep up with the rest of the guys if he kept on letting his mind wander.
“Jisung buddy, you okay man?” This time Jaemin was the one to ask. Great that meant his internal struggles were already becoming more obvious.
“Yeah, sorry, guess you’re right about a few things.”
“I told you Ji,” Donghyuck says far too loudly as he speaks directly into the mic. “If you need something I know plenty of women ready to be at your beckoning call.”
“Once again,” Jisung sighs, running his hand through his hair. “I’m not interested.” Donghyuck shrugs.
“It’s not a problem this is just a practice anyway,” Mark says as leaderish as ever, “Let’s take it from the top.”
Jisung knew Mark was probably a bit more stressed than he let on, this whole gimmick had been happening way more often to call it a stroke of misfortune. He wouldn’t ever let the man see that though, he already knew just how hard Jisung was on himself. Could you really blame him, though? Now was not the time for mistakes, the band themselves were booked and busy for the next few weeks. If he kept tuning out and fucking up simple songs that he could play in his sleep, he’d be responsible for the reputation of the band.
He bit his bottom lip, closing his eyes to clear his mind before starting up the same bass line as before. He’d have to hurry up and fix whatever limbo he was stuck in. And hurry up fast.
☆ 💫 ☆
Dinner went about as great as you’d expected. Lots of awkward moments up until the drinks started pouring in, and only then after almost zero persuasion you took the drinks and joined the rest of them in the fun drinking games you hadn’t played since you were all sneaking sips of your mothers expensive wine. It wasn’t alcoholic in the slightest, but that hadn’t stopped your young minds from acting drunk anyway.
It had been almost a week since then. And you were no monster so you had already come clean about your whereabouts to your grandma who, after lots of convincing, agreed to not tell anything to your mother under the condition that you would visit her in the time you chose to stay here before leaving again.
You weren’t exactly sure when that would be, after all you still had too much on your mind and according to Aeri, lots of catching up to do. That included, checking out the newly remodeled venue thirty minutes away and having drinks with everyone.
Unfortunately for you, no introvert was safe from your friends' shenanigans. So tonight you were expected to show up, no excuses. Not even the ‘you don’t have my foundation shade’ that used to get you out of going most places when you were all younger. Turns out having a friend who worked as a beauty consultant took some getting used to.
You took in the scene around you, low lights that were full of color. There was a subtle fog that filled the room you were sure was there to add to the aesthetic appeal.
You’d been sipping on drinks for what felt like hours just waiting for the main performance to begin. Some band was running late for the past thirty minutes.
“Isn’t there supposed to be a performance?” You click your tongue in annoyance, speech slightly slurred.
“I think they might just move on to the rest of them, probably gonna end up being a hefty fine.” Renjun replies, gulping down the last of his mocktail.
“How many bands are we here to see?”
Ningning giggles, just as tipsy as you. “As many as we can! Who doesn’t love live music?”
You groan, “Well i’ll be right back then,” You scoot off of your seat, pulling down your dress fabric that had risen just a bit too high for comfort as you were seated. “Anyone else want another drink?” Your friends politely decline, choosing to stay behind and keep your section open for when you come back.
The bodies around made it a bit more difficult to find your way around, but anytime you were tipsy you’d gain enough confidence to convince yourself you could run a marathon in ten minutes, so there was no way you were backing out. You chose to try a different route, heading closer towards the stages in the back since there were less people and crowds weren’t exactly your scene.
“You look like you’d rather be anywhere but here right now.” A low voice sounded from behind you, startling you into turning around.
“Do I know you?” You take in the appearance of the man in front of you. He was handsome but that didn’t really mean anything considering that he was a stranger, and you were alone.
He chuckled, his smile only growing larger. “Guess not.”
You nodded awkwardly, turning away from the guy and praying he wasn’t some creep.
“If you’re here for the show then I’m pretty sure the stage is that way.” He calls out, pointing from where you just came from.
“Not where i’m headed but thank you.”
“Hey look I promise i’m no creep,” He says and though the words are meant to be comforting your drunken mind can’t help but take it as a threat. “You should really be careful out here though, if security finds you they’ll kick you out without even hearing you out first.”
You’re not really sure what to say so you nod. This guy was kind of annoying, it was obvious enough you didn’t want his help. You looked at him again, your brow raised this time actually taking in his appearance. He had blond hair, his eyes were big enough you could probably spot him from a mile away, and his smile seemed genuine yet all the more unsettling.
“You like what you see?” He jokes, his smile growing wider.
You pretend to gag, causing the ladder to laugh. “Okay okay fine i’ll leave you alone.” He looked down at his watch like he’d lost track of time. “Oh by the way, the bar is that way!”
He pointed in the direction you had already planned on going in before running off into one of the many rooms that confused your tipsy head.
When you’d appeared once again with your friends this time with a drink in hand Aeri was the first to speak up.
“Where have you been? I told these guys you have zero sense of direction who gave them the bright idea to go by yourself.”
“His name is Jack Daniels.” Ningning blurts out.
“I’m serious, you missed out on a lot, Renjun’s friend Chenle is some dude who owns this place. He invited us for more drinks later when the show ends.”
Renjun nods happily, “He also offered us rides home so I can actually drink now.”
You smile, “Don’t worry, I met some weirdo but he kind of helped me find the bar so he wasn’t so bad after all.”
Aeri’s eyes widened with worry, “He didn’t try anything did he? I’ll find whoever the creep is and kill him.”
“I’m fine, really.” Before she can argue the crowd erupts in cheers, five silhouettes filling the stage. It was hard for you to even make out their faces with all of the fog and distance between you and the main stage.
The first few chords strummed, the low notes of the bass powerful enough to cloud your mind before the rest of the ensemble joined. Whatever song it was was captivating. The entire crowd swayed to the heavy sound, your friends following suit.
The next few songs went by almost too quickly, and it was safe to say that whoever these guys were on stage were something special. The crowd cheered loudly after every performance up until the final song.
The lead singer stopped for a moment introducing the last song by title. Once more to see you.
The final song began, a slow bass line that felt so familiar. You took in a sharp breath, the vocals were different than they were before. This time a low voice took the mic. You felt as if your heart stopped beating, your friends were distracted staring up at the stage not having noticed your pale complexion.
You couldn’t breathe. What ever made you think you could come back down and avoid him? The lead singer had taken the mic again but it was much too late. You knew exactly who it was on that stage. You’d spent your childhood with him. You helped him find his voice. You were there when he first began composing his own music.
You were there, until you weren’t.
☆ 🎸 ☆
Jisung took one long breath, soaking in the applause from the audience before looking up as the final chorus ended. His heart sank for a split second, staring out in the distance he swore he saw–
“Come on,” Jeno called out, his figure covering his view. He moved over, looking into the crowd again to see nothing. He must really be out of his mind these days. He followed the rest of the group off of the stage, the cheers fading into the distance.
“That was fucking amazing!” Donghyuck shouted excitedly, “Did you see the way the girl in the front row kept looking at me? I threw her a wink and she got all shy.”
Jeno rolled his eyes, “Yeah I'm so sure that happened even through the thick ass fog.”
“What was the deal with that?” Mark added, taking a sip of a water bottle that Jisung was almost sure appeared out of thin air if it weren’t for the mini fridge in the break room they’d noticed earlier. “Swear I could barely see where my own guitar was.”
“I for one could see perfectly,” Jaemin sighed, “The girl with the black dress.”
The rest of the guys collectively groaned in annoyance, it was so like Jaemin to pick out a random girl from the crowd to offer his entire soul to for the night. The hopeless romantic surely had a weird way of envisioning his future.
Jisung scrunched his face, deciding to take a water bottle from the fridge as a means of cooling off. He wasn’t exactly interested in the other guys sex lives, so he found himself wondering back to what he thought he saw. There was zero way that it was you. Like it had to be scientifically impossible, you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing to do with him anymore so why would you be back in town?
He had to be losing it or something because seriously what the fuck. First he was spacing out now he was suddenly seeing shit? Seeing you of all people too?
“Jisung!” Jeno shouted, no anger in it whatsoever but it was enough to make Jisung jump anyway, “Dude what’s up with you lately?”
He had no answer to that.
When he didn’t reply Jeno started up again, “Look I don’t really understand what the heck is going on and clearly you’re just as lost as I am, but how about you join us after this?”
Ah of course there was always the post performance clubbing his band mates would go to for drinks and more specifically, the warmth of another in their bed. Honestly he should say no. He always did anyway, but he figured that if for even more than a second he was left alone with his own thoughts he’d certainly lose his mind for real.
“Okay.” Jisung agreed, not completely confident in his decision but the other guys seemed happier than he was at the answer.
“Finally!” Donghyuck buds into their conversation, poking his head in between the two as he hangs off of Jisung’s shoulder. “I met this girl a few shows back and her friend couldn’t stop asking about you! I promise you, you will get some tonight.”
Mark laughs, “Yeah i’m sure that’s exactly what Ji was worried about, going home without some groupie.”
Donghyuck shrugs, “You never know, Jaemin could die if he doesn’t get his dick touched after every show.”
Jaemin smirks, “Good thing I don’t ever have to worry about that.”
Jisung knew he had made a grave mistake the second they had entered the building. For one, most of the bodies filling the room stank of cheap cologne and alcohol. And the second he even made his way in every single one of the guys disappeared into the abyss.
This was seriously not his scene. He let out what felt like the hundredth sigh of the night, making his way over to the bar. He ordered rum and coke, hoping that was good enough to get a little bit of alcohol in his system so he wouldn’t feel like dying until the rest of the guys gathered up to get back home.
As time went on he’d grown bored, the drink was seriously not helping him get his mind off of anything. Some woman tried flirting with him about half an hour ago who was obviously not in the right mind when she confessed to forgetting her name. Her friend popped up right behind her apologizing and leaving with her.
He contemplated another drink as he scrolled his phone once more, a few texts popping in from the Oblivion group chat.
Donghyuck:
Im out
Don’t bother me
I’ll be back in the morning
Of course the dude had left on his own. If Jisung knew that was the case he would’ve left a long time ago. He set down the empty glass in his hand, going straight through the crowd to find the exit door. His phone began to ring, he was sure it was Jeno or Jaemin calling to hook him up with a random person he’d never met. It was annoying how often they’d pull that, even when he was already settled in his bed at home.
He locked his screen, ignoring the call as he spotted what looked like a door out. The crowd was really getting to him, even if his height was an advantage between all of the people, he didn’t particularly like the feeling of someone standing so close to him. He was a bassist for crying out loud, that didn’t mean he had to be a people person. That was all Hyuck’s job, anyway, as the lead singer.
As he finally reached the door he felt like a weight lifted off of his shoulder, reaching out to open the door when from the other side someone pushed it forward. He muttered a quick apology before looking up.
Right in front of him you stood, in a black dress that didn’t do enough to hide your figure from everyone else’s eyes. Paired with a huge fluffy puffer jacket he never would’ve imagined you’d buy for yourself. Though his imagination proved to be very inconsistent since he would’ve never imagined you’d be back here of all places.
It hit him then. The anxious feelings he’d been experiencing for the past weeks, the girl who could’ve bet his entire life on being in the crowd. So he wasn’t going crazy, not yet at least.
☆ 💫 ☆
You should’ve trusted your gut. That’s the only thing that you could think as you met face to face with him. He looked even better up close than he did on the stage. Only where he looked comfortable and free playing before, it was nowhere to be seen now. Now he stared back at you. For just a second as you opened the door you thought you could see a hint of relief. It was all gone now. Now you looked into the eyes of the man you knew so well before. Now you looked into the eyes of your best friend who eyed you back with…
Well, honestly, you couldn’t even pinpoint how he felt, all you knew was that it was definitely not a happy feeling.
“Jisungie?” Ningning called out from behind you, completely oblivious to the dense atmosphere that surrounded the two of you.
His expression changed in a quick moment, a smile masking his features as his attention shifted to greet hers. You weren’t sure why it hurt so bad to see the two of them interact that way, but it did.
“Hey,” His voice was as deep as you remembered, goosebumps erupting on your skin as you moved to the side, offering up space so the two of them could talk more easily.
“I haven’t seen you in like forever!” She rested a hand on his shoulder, “You look great but out of place, I don’t remember you being much of a clubbing guy?”
“Jeno dragged me out tonight but it seems he made himself pretty busy.”
Ningning laughs, “Seems just like him.”
You felt like an outsider, not knowing any of the people the two of them were referring to. You shrank into silence, hoping the two of them would end up distracted enough that you could make a run for it. Surely there had to be at least one late night flight back to France, or Portugal, or Spain, or really any European country that could hide you for the rest of your life.
“You could join us where we’re sitting? We’re in a vip booth, supposed to be meeting some of the bands from earlier.”
Your eyes widened, there was no way she really asked him that. It wasn’t completely known to the rest of your friend group what really happened between you and Jisung but it didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to figure it out either.
“Ah,” He looks down awkwardly. You held back a smile, he was never really one for direct eye contact, not with anyone but you. What were you talking about, that was in the past. “I actually played earlier, I'm the bassist for Oblivion, the last ones that played.”
Ningning’s mouth was in the shape of an O, “Really! I would’ve noticed but it was pretty foggy where we stood!” She knocked on her head, scolding herself for not paying enough attention to who was actually on stage. “You should come by anyway! I’m sure the others might be just as surprised seeing you now.”
Things couldn’t get more awkward. It was fine though, Jisung was obviously pretty occupied before you bumped into him, so clearly, he wouldn’t want to stay here longer when he’s busy.
“Sure.”
It was not fine.
“Great!” Ningning smiled, “Y/N can show you where the rest of the group is i’m going to order us a round of drinks!”
It was definitely not fine.
Jisung nodded, prompting Ningning to leave the both of you alone. You barely let out a small “This way,” before even more uncomfortable silence filled the air around you two.
You knew your friend certainly didn’t mean to make things weird, she just happened to be a very talkative drunk. You could forgive her in the morning when she would apologize to you profusely just as she always did after a night of drinking and bad decisions.
What plagued your mind now wasn’t that, it was why Jisung would even agree in the first place? He didn’t seem to want to talk to you at all. Or had you been imagining things? You did have a habit of making things out to be what they weren’t. Perhaps he was actually happy to see you? Perhaps he was interested in catching up with the others? Maybe he wasn’t mad at you for leaving him hanging the last couple of years and dropping off the face of the earth.
Jisung was always a sweetheart growing up, he could hardly hold any resentment towards anyone. Some things never changed.
Time changes everything.
You’d told yourself that right before you clicked to confirm your flight, mostly so that when you came back and realized that change was inevitable and happening no matter what, it wouldn’t cause you to panic but instead give you better insight on what to do with your life.
Now, as you sit quietly at the table, Aeri to your left pouring yet another glass for the man seated in front of you. You realized that there was no comfort in change, not when you ruined what left you had to live in your life.
Jisung hardly looked at you, avoiding every fiber of your existence as he laughed along with the rest of the group. You had tried to make a comment somewhere in between the night that he ignored flat out. It should’ve pissed you off more, you were a prideful human being, but you’d figured that was better than him looking at you in disgust, the way he did earlier when you first introduced him to everyone at the table.
He was always one to have his emotions written on his face afterall.
You took another shot of soju, your friends so deep in conversation they overlooked your presence, talking loudly about some things you’d missed out on when you moved away. You were a few shots deep enough to know that you had about one more shot left in you before you completely passed out here on this table, which honestly seemed like the worst fate possible, again because of your pride.
You tapped your finger, absentmindedly, your overthinking soon to be reduced by the thoughts of ‘could I jump over a twenty foot van’.
You weren’t sure how long it’d been of you doing that until you heard the sound of a glass sliding towards you. Looking up, you see the same dark head of hair that had been hard to not notice all night.
“Drink.” Jisung says, his tone flat and uninterested, like he didn’t actually care if you did what he said at all.
You eyed the glass with what you assumed was filled with water since it was clear. “Water?”
He sighs, as if replying to you physically hurt him. “What else would it be?”
You shrug, holding the glass with both hands and taking a few large gulps of the cool liquid. It was definitely water, and for some reason it was really hitting the spot. You set the glass down, wiping your lips from where at some point it spilled. If you were sober enough you would’ve seen the way he looked at you, the shaky breath he let out when you wiped your mouth.
“It could’ve been tequila.”
His patient demeanor is back, “Do you really think i’d offer you more alcohol in this state?”
You shrug again, this time not really knowing what to say. You felt shy all of a sudden. Those were the only words he’d directed at you and you only the entire night. A selfish part of you knew that if you let the conversation die now he, rightfully so, would probably never talk to you again and go about his own life. You felt like that was the worst possible outcome, so you opted for another.
“Where’d everyone go?” You ask innocently. Truth be told you hadn’t even noticed the empty chairs around until now. Damn did you really drink that much?
As if he read your mind he replies, “Did you really overdo it? They left for the dance floor a few minutes ago. They invited you but you claimed your feet would fall off if you stood up for more than a minute.”
Well props to your drunk self, you at least knew your own limits. Jisung scrolls his phone, the silence somehow louder than the music playing throughout the place. When did things become this way? You knew why, but that didn’t make it hurt less. He could hardly even look at you, but when he did he looked at you like it hurt him to. He looked at you like you were the bane of his existence. Of course, after a certain point you were also an emotional drunk. You’d learned of it back in France when you had too many rounds of champagne at your mother’s Orca release and rescue charity gala event and bursted out crying as the slide show segment took place.
It was embarrassing then, the last thing you needed was a repeat of that time. You swallowed down more water, hoping it would ease the cry in your throat from fully forming.
Jisung’s phone began to ring. He looked at the caller ID and rolled his eyes. You thought maybe he wouldn’t answer when he proved you wrong, sliding the answer button and lifting the phone to his ear.
He answered softly, “Hello?”
Ah it must be his girlfriend if he’s answering so kindly. That makes total sense, he was always a subtle charmer. You’d look into his eyes and fall deeper and deeper without realizing it like he was some sort of black hole.
“No it’s okay,” He spoke again, making eye contact with you again and tapping the table for you to finish the last of your water. You groan but obey, sipping down the rest in one last gulp.
“Yeah really hyung i’m fine, just got things to take care of.”
Hyung?
You ponder for a moment before realizing that it wasn’t a girlfriend he’d been on the phone with. Wow what a way of jumping to conclusions. You’d laugh at yourself if doing that wouldn’t result in a psych evaluation.
He seemingly ends the call, typing something into his phone before setting it down.
“What was that about?” He raises an eyebrow in what seemed like he was offended that you’d even ask. He was about to give you an answer when you cut him off. “Fine then I didn’t want to know!”
You had enough of whatever game he was playing. Since he hated you so much he could leave. There wasn’t anything holding him hostage here. You were done being a sad drunk now you were just annoyed.
You pout, refusing to look at him when a low chuckle sounds from his mouth. You turn towards him again, scowling in annoyance. “Stop laughing! You’re being such an asshole.”
“I’m an asshole?” He scoffs playfully, “Why?”
You roll your eyes. He couldn’t be serious. “You’ve been looking at me like i’m stupid all night!”
“We haven’t even been together all night.” You roll your eyes, making him laugh more. “Okay, i’m sorry I was joking.”
You refuse to speak now, staring off at some random painting on the wall like it was an official Van Gogh exclusive.
“Darling,” His voice is low as he calls for you.
Darling.
You hadn’t been called that since before you left. The nickname has always been his for you, an exclusive that nobody but him could ever call you.
“Why do you do this to me?” You question him, your cheeks growing warm as you fiddle with your fingers. “I understand you must want nothing to do with me after...” You trail off, not knowing how exactly to word anything but continuing anyway, “after everything, but if you hate me so badly then you can just leave.”
He’s silent for a moment too long, making you grow more embarrassed at your sudden outburst. Only Park Jisung was able to drag this kind of reaction out of you. You hear him shift in his seat, the music on the dance floor not anywhere near as loud as the way your heart thumps when he approaches you.
He’s right beside you, standing what you can only assume is straight and tall when he clears his throat. You lift your head up on instinct to meet his gaze, only this time the playful glint from before is gone. He’s nothing short of serious when he finally speaks, “Is that it? You thought I wanted nothing to do with you?””
You’re so close in proximity now, closer than you’ve been in years. He looks behind you but for just one moment before his eyes are back on yours again. You suck in a breath as he leans in close, making sure that you’d be able to hear him over the loud chatter around.
“I wish that was the case.”
Your brows furrow. What the hell does that mean? “What–“ You don’t have any time to ask, the tall man had already stormed off.
“What’s up with him?” Aeri asks, taking a seat next to you.
You don’t even know how to reply. If anything his reaction only made everything more confusing. You leaned your head in your hands, groaning in frustration. This was not at all what you had been anticipating when you left, but one thing was for certain, this was only the beginning to your problems.
Part Two: Early December
What difference does it make?
☆ 🎸 ☆
The atmosphere was warm and comforting. He snuggled into your touch, the soft touch of your hand trailing through his hair. He felt himself drift asleep, the tiredness from school and practice enveloping him as the seconds passed. You whispered something, your voice too light to make out. He was too tired to ask though, deciding he could just ask you about it in the morning. His breathing evened out as he allowed himself to rest.
Jisung woke up with a headache that felt like he’d been shot in the head. Twice.
A part of him knew that whatever drink Jeno handed him was probably going to taste like it was mixed with a horse tranquilizer. In his defense, he really did need it.
Ever since he’d last seen you two weeks ago he couldn’t help but think of you. You overwhelmed every thought in his mind, every dream he had, every daydream. It was a bad idea to stay to chat. It was an even worse one to talk to you. Now you plagued his mind constantly.
He barely had time to explain anything to his hyungs, and lucky for him, they didn’t really ask. They did, however, offer ways of help. That’s how he ended up at parties or bars or clubs after every performance they had. And Mark wasn’t joking when he said the next few months were booked and busy. It seemed like every week he found himself waking up after a night out with a killer migraine, but it beat the alternative.
Mark didn’t seem so pleased, but as long as the partying wasn’t interfering with practice or actual performances, he would let them go about how they wanted to spend their free time. So for some time, he’d hang around with the guys until they found some girl to take back to a hotel, then he’d call a cab and pass out the second his head hit his pillow. It was a controversial way of living, sure, but it at least left him with an empty mind.
You hadn’t shown up to any other performances. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it at first, but he figured it was for the best. He made his way into the kitchen, the guys laughter from the living room sounding like they were screaming in his ear. They didn’t pay him any attention until he closed the fridge, Jaemin calling out to him as his Sonya Blade completely annihilated Donghyuck’s Johnny Cage.
“Yo Jisung! Do you wanna play?”
“We still haven’t finished this round, asshole,” Donghyuck replied.
“Yeah but you suck,” Jaemin teases, finishing the round with a signature Fatality.
“You sleep well?” Mark calls out from the other couch, Donghyuck passing him the remote in defeat.
“Uh,” Jisung’s mind drifts for a second, remembering his dream before ignoring the memory. “Sure.”
“You’re pretty quiet,” Mark says plainly, “Anything happen last night?”
“Nothing fun if that’s what you’re implying, dude couldn’t even stand a chance when Jeno passed him that concoction of his.” Donghyuck answers for him, paying no active attention to anything but his phone.
Jeno smiles to himself in the corner, which sounded creepier than it actually was. “That’s not even my go-to, if you want a real drink next time let me know.”
Donghyuck looks up from his phone, offended like Jeno had punched him, “Dude, what kind of monster are you?”
Jaemin laughs maniacally, having beat Mark’s Sub-Zero in record breaking time.
“Dude? How?” Mark asks in genuine shock, looking over the remote like it had betrayed him.
“He’s a hacker I tell you!” Donghyuck shouts, the sound still too amplified for Jisung’s poor ears.
“I made breakfast,” says Jaemin, ignoring the others' theories. “We already ate so you can help yourself. There’s some pills on the counter too.”
It hadn’t been that long since they all decided to live together, it made getting to rehearsal easier. The only issue was having to deal with multiple roommates bringing someone back home, the walls weren’t as thin as they hoped. A good pair of noise cancelling headphones later though, and living here was really great.
Jisung was sure if he’d been living alone he would’ve ended up starving to death, so having Donghyuck and Jaemin as roommates was like a gift from the heavens above. As soon as he bit into the Kimchi Stew he felt cured of all things evil, devouring the rest of the meal like he hadn’t eaten in years.
Once he finished and washed his bowl he passed through the living room much more energized than he was moments prior. Mark sat alone now, stretched limbs over the couch as he watched the Animated Spider-Man Series.
“Where’s everyone?”
Mark shrugged, eyes glued to the tv, “Jeno’s in his room probably, Donghyuck went out, and who knows with Jaemin.”
“No practice today?”
“Nope,” he replies, popping the p. “Free day today.”
It was the first Wednesday they had off in almost a month. Jisung pondered for a moment, debating how to spend today, before realizing he had things to do.
“I’m going out!” He yells out after switching into a casual outfit, slipping on his shoes at the door. “I’ll be back later!”
Mark shouts back a quick, “Okay man take care!” Right as Jisung shuts the door.
Wednesdays were reserved, for the most part, or at least Jisung tried to keep it that way. It was pretty hard though, this new schedule kept him booked and busy with back to back shows and practice.
He gripped the bag of fruit in one hand, politely knocking on the door and waiting. There was scuffling from inside, someone making their way over to the door. He adjusted his shirt, making sure he didn’t look like he had been run over.
The door twisted open, revealing you. A plain black shirt, partially revealing the bra you had on with the way it flowed over your shoulders. You wore baggy jeans, the boyfriend style that made him short circuit at the idea of you wearing any one of his clothes that’d fit on you oversized. He could smell your familiar fragrance of cherries, one that he’d assumed you’d eventually outgrow but had proven to be false.
You spoke first, his words stolen out of his mouth before he could even get a greeting out. “What are you doing here?”
He wasn’t sure you meant to come off so accusatory, but you did, his headache from earlier coming back.
“Jisungie!” Your grandma called from behind you. A smile reached his face in an instant.
“Auntie,” He starts, “I apologize for not coming by sooner.”
“Don’t apologize!” She cuts him off, “Come in, come in.”
He nods, removing his shoes as he steps inside the familiar home. “I brought you some fruits, as an apology.”
“Ah you didn’t have to,” She smiles, accepting the bag.
Jisung keeps it in his arms, “It’s a bit heavy, i’ll carry it.”
She nods in thanks, heading towards her kitchen. The entire interaction leaves you standing there, mouth agape, in confusion. Looking at the bag in his hands and back up at him.
“Grandma!” You call after the elderly lady, following her into the kitchen.
He can hear you as you try and speak quietly, you really were bad at whispering, asking the woman why the hell he was here. She ignores you, dicing up more vegetables and adding them into the pot.
“Jisungie, you can sit over there.”
He sets the bag of fruits down on the table, “Ah i’m okay, I can help if you want.”
The lady laughs, “Your hands are better for playing, sit, sit.”
“Ah, yes.”
You groan in frustration, your grandmother ignoring you as you try to talk to her, telling you to quiet down and take a seat. After a few minutes of lingering around, you finally decide to oblige, taking the seat next to Jisung.
“I asked you a question,” You observe him, looking over him like he was on the FBI’s most wanted list.
Your grandmother passes him a glass cup that he accepts with thanks. He takes a sip, her banana smoothies were always nothing short of exceptional.
“I always swing by,” He replies, barely sparing you a glance. He knew if he allowed himself to look at you again that he’d be putting himself in a worse position.
Your brows furrow, he holds back a smile, you were always so easy to read. “Why?” You ask plainly, this time with zero irritation.
He looks over at the woman, hoping you were able to put two and two together. Your grandma was a kind woman, but she was also lonely. Her only child left years ago to start a life elsewhere, and though she was so proud of her, Jisung constantly heard of your mothers accomplishments anytime he visited, he could tell a part of her missed having her daughter around.
It was different when you lived there, she would watch over the two of you when you were young. Jisung spent most of his time with the two of you since his parents were always away. He started coming over on his own a few weeks after you moved. At first he wanted to make sure that your grandma was doing well, he checked over her house to see if she needed help with anything. She appreciated his visits, cooking for him and telling him to stop by whenever he wanted to.
He stopped by more often after that, at least once a week when he wasn’t busy filling in for random bands around the area. She had been the first to congratulate him when he joined Oblivion. It was nice being around a place that he held so dear to him, even when he knew he should’ve been trying to get over you. A part of him knew that wouldn’t ever happen.
You understood the message clearly, quieting down after that. The atmosphere became dense again, words left unsaid. It was weird, he hadn’t ever expected your conversations to ever be this frail, let alone you ever coming back.
The rest of the day went by quickly, the sun set by the time all three of you finished eating. Your grandma had asked him about different topics, mostly making sure he was well fed and not just running off of junk food like the kids did nowadays.
“Show him out,” Your grandma turned to you.
“Me?” You ask, avoiding your grandma's hand as she began to swat it annoyed. “Why?”
“You ask too many questions,” She replies, making her way back to the kitchen, “Don’t be rude and show him out.”
“Thank you again, auntie!” Jisung calls out.
“Come by again soon!”
You stand quiet for a moment, sighing and sliding on your shoes before walking ahead of him. “You’ve been here more than me, not sure why you'd need help all of a sudden.”
Jisung barely fails to resist a scoff. It’s like you were trying to make him hate you.
The night air is chilly, your arms hiding into themselves to cling for warmth. He held onto the leftovers your grandmother gave him tighter, the atmosphere proving dangerous to so many of his hidden desires.
You led him outside of the gate, your hand hesitating over the lock. “Thank you,” Your voice was soft and genuine, “for visiting my grandma all this time.”
Jisung paused. He wasn’t sure how to reply, not wanting to ruin the moment but also guarding himself from you. He settled with, “I didn’t do it for you.” regretting it only slightly after seeing your reaction. He bit his tongue, hoping you were too lost in your own pout to notice his smile.
“I know that!” You scoff, obviously annoyed.
The tongue biting does himself no favors, his smile so obvious now, even to you who refuses to meet his eye. Your expression is different now, you’re hiding something, he knows you well enough to notice it.
“Just say it.”
“What?” You’re startled, looking up at him just as you did before. You were seriously so cute from this angle. He clears his throat, “You always make that face when you want to say something, so i’m telling you to just say it.”
You pause, like a deer caught in headlights, shaking your head the way you always did when you wanted to get the nerves out.
“What did you mean when you said you wished that was the case?”
He snickered, it was so like you to replay such a simple moment in your mind, a conversation in which he was sure you knew exactly what he meant. He leans in again, hoping you won’t be able to hear his heart palpitating, “Nothing, I was drunk.”
Your brows furrow, “You’re lying,” You call his bluff. He only laughs again. “Tell me, please.”
That please was almost his breaking point, the idea of you begging for him flooding his veins with want. He turns away feeling vulnerable, heat pooling in his stomach that he’s so desperately trying to avoid. “You’re a smart girl, you can figure it out.”
He walks away, heading straight for his car with no disruptions. He barely acknowledges the sound of the lock turning, his mind and body racing to leave now before every hint of self respect was lost.
He sat within the driver's seat, his hands gripping the steering wheel with pressure, his head falling forward, a groan escaping his lips. He shouldn’t have come today, he should’ve stayed home and caught up with some very much needed rest.
He needed to forget about you, but it proved to be so much more difficult than just avoiding you. You consumed every fiber of his being, appearing in places he wouldn’t have even imagined, okay maybe your grandma’s house was his fault but you hadn’t been there for the past years so how should he have known.
He felt like he was going insane. Picturing you in the back of his mind after every show, hooking up with a random girl from the bar after his hyungs suggested it just for him to feel like shit after. And finally, when he decided to put all of his efforts into his music, the second he thought maybe he could finally get over you, you came waltzing back into his life.
Even now, as much as he tried to piss you off, he knew. There was no winning, not with you. No, when it came to you, he was at complete mercy to you. The worst part was, you didn’t even know it.
☆ 💫 ☆
You laid in your old bedroom, staring up at the ceiling like it could answer all of life’s biggest mysteries for you. You had texted Giselle saying you’d be staying at your grandma’s for a few days, You weren’t even sure she’d read it with how occupied she was the past few days with some random man she’d met dancing at the bar while you dealt with Jisung trying to sober up.
Speaking of the devil, he was the reason you were even awake this late. You had fixed your sleep schedule the first few days of landing, who knew an awkward dinner with your– Jisung.
He’d left after whatever the hell kind of conversation that was, and he didn’t even say bye! Not that you needed it but it would’ve been nice.
You had been replaying the conversation from earlier in the night in your mind. He didn’t have to be so condescending, since when did he become so.. so stupid!
You’re a smart girl, you can figure it out.
The worst part is the way he said it. You locked the door as quickly as you could the second he walked away, your heart racing at his attitude. Your cheeks were flushed, your grandma pointed out as she asked why you were so red before you ran up to your room to avoid her.
You reached for the pillow beside you, pulling it over your face as you hid yourself in shame. You were very close to screeching in it, stopping yourself because then you’d have to admit seeing him did something to you.
You let out a sigh, disconnecting your face from the pillow, trying to ease your mind into thinking about something else. You still hadn’t spoken to your mom, you weren’t sure what the woman was planning since it’s the longest time you’ve gone without contacting her about your every move since you lived with your grandma. For some reason you had an overwhelming sense of danger, like there was a ticking time bomb that was close to exploding any second now.
Great, what an amazing way to get your mind off of the raven haired man. Who would’ve thought thinking about how terrible the things were that you had left behind could snap some sense into you. What happened earlier meant nothing. It had to mean nothing. There was too much in jeopardy if you were to admit anything you felt about Jisung, and honestly you were already in deep enough trouble.
As you stepped back into Aeri’s apartment, using her spare key to lock the door you jumped at the sight of a shirtless man in front of you.
“I’m sorry!” The handsome stranger apologized, calling out to your roommate who walked into the room like this was nothing out of the ordinary.
“Hey.” Aeri walked forward, snatching the bag of leftovers from your hands, peeking into it and observing the food like a vulture.
“Grandma couldn’t help but pack up every last bit of leftovers, said we wouldn’t eat anything otherwise.”
Giselle smiled mischievously, “Send her my regards,” your friend makes her way towards the kitchen, not before eyeing her boy toy who was still standing there, chest out. “Put some clothes on, freak.”
You and Aeri sat down on her table, her fling, that you’d learned was named Eric, long gone as he had some kind of business to take care of. She was scarfing down all of the food you brought back while you sat in front of her with a full stomach from breakfast, a drink in hand.
“What’s wrong with you,” She asked, mid bite of kimchi fried rice. “You look like you barely slept.”
“Nothing,” You regretted answering back so quickly, maybe if you hadn’t then you could’ve hid everything for a bit longer. But your friend could slice you open and dissect you easily.
She set down her spoon, raising an eyebrow. “What happened?”
Let’s see, there were actually way too many things that happened. For starters, your best friend made an appearance at your grandma's house where it turns out he’s been visiting since the day you left town. There was also the fact that for some odd reason you felt like your chest was going to burst after the first full conversation that you shared with him in a long time.
There were other things, like France and everything you were so scared to talk about because then it would be put into reality and you’d have to actually face your problems face on. The calls from your mother that were becoming more and more persistent these days and it only put into perspective how much time was running out and would eventually catch up to you.
Sometime during your short existential crisis, Aeri’s expression changed from that of suspicion to worry. “You don’t have to talk about it!”
You nodded forcefully, your brain on overdrive, taking a drink from your glass and hoping that the water would be enough to cool your brain back into its normal setting.
Aeri contemplates for a second and you could practically see the lightbulb light up above her head as an idea sparks through her mind. “I have an idea!”
“I couldn’t notice.” You reply dryly.
“Come with me, tonight.”
That’s right, that Eric guy had mentioned some DJ gig he had at some club across town tonight, inviting the two of you to attend with free drink vouchers he had attained as per agreement with the club owner.
You weren’t so sure going out would help sort your thoughts out, but you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that a few free drinks sounded very convincing at this moment. You wanted to let loose enough that you could barely count your problems on one hand, and what better way to do that than a night of alcohol? What’s the worst that could happen?
Aeri’s never ending connections never really seemed to phase you these days. The two of you had made it into the club faster than you’d ever made it into anywhere in your life. The air outside was way too cold for you to be in the outfit you had on but Aeri refused to let you go out without either a skirt or dress three inches above your knee. So here you stood in line to pick up a glass of really anything strong, three shots of soju deep that wasn’t hitting hard enough for your liking.
Your friend had been escorted on stage about an hour ago, joining Eric’s side as he played music that was actually not so bad considering he was a man. Your body swayed to the rhythm of the music as you awaited your mystery drink from the cute bartender who had complimented your boots, after which she introduced herself as Heejin.
“Thank you!” You shouted over the loud music as she slid over the mystery glass, earning a warm smile from her before she moved onto the next drink.
You crossed through the crowd with your drink pressed tightly beside you as you tried to navigate through the group of people surrounding the bar to make it back to the front of the dance floor that had become more chaotic than before as the night went on.
The music was loud enough to fill your entire body, the heavy bass sounding through your every cell. You tried squeezing through a couple that were a little over crossing the line of dancing and full on intercourse, catching your balance as you tripped a bit over someone’s foot.
You breathed out a sigh, regretting your choice of drink when the shots had clearly traveled their journey from your stomach into your veins, the buzz taking its effect on you. Aeri waved from above, Eric’s hands around her waist as he back hugged her. You had a feeling your friend might keep this guy a bit longer than she usually did.
You took sips of your drink, trying to get through whatever insane mixture it was, plugging your nose as you chugged it down. Better to drink the rest of it before the buzz wore off and you ended up with a shitty drink in your hand.
More songs passed, time moving on what felt like another dimensional plane. You were just as buzzed as you wanted to be, aware enough to take care of yourself and drunk enough to not overthink it. You danced and danced, until your drink was completely finished, opting to get water just so you wouldn’t die of dehydration.
Before you could reach the bar a random dancer bumped into you a little harshly, almost knocking you over if it weren’t for the hand at your waist catching you. You sucked in a breath, the familiar scent of citrus with an underlying woody aroma masking the slightest hint of smoke, there was no way.
His voice was low with warning when he spoke from behind you, “Watch where you’re going.” He directed towards the man who had knocked into you. Your skin buzzed, his touch warm and comforting even if you convinced yourself the last thing you wanted was to see him again.
The man uttered an apology, leaving you to turn and face the man you had been drinking to forget all night.
“Should I refer to you as my personal stalker now?”
He chuckled though it sounded fake, “A babysitter sounds more like it when i’m the one always having to watch over you.”
You scoff, “I didn’t need you just now.”
“Yeah i’m sure you would’ve much rather fell straight on your ass.”
His eyes roamed over your body, taking in every fiber of your appearance. You resisted a blush, being seen in such a spectacle by him was out of the ordinary, his usual calm demeanor faltering at the result of your mini skirt. There’s a new sense of warmth pooling in your stomach, one you can’t blame on the alcohol, you brush it off.
“What do you want Jisung? Are you here to kill the mood?”
“I’m here because I spotted a lost kitten that needed rescuing.”
The nickname should gross you out more than it really does. You frown, this time really taking in the appearance of the man. On the surface he looked just about as irritating as usual, sporting a grey graphic tee you could successfully guess was a band from the eighties worn atop a pair of distressed jeans. You looked up at him, his face and neck the slightest shade of rose.
“You’re drunk.” It’s not a question, more so a state of disbelief.
“Buzzed now,” He doesn’t even deny it, “sobered up outside about an hour ago.”
He must’ve still been drunk enough to be so willing to share that, regardless you laugh, as if you caught him committing a crime. “Wow, I can’t believe I get to see Park Jisung drunk.”
“I’m not drunk.”
“No?” You raise a brow, stepping closer to him. You were glad to have caught him like this, it was so much easier to read him when he was buzzed. You took notice of every detail he could give you, the way his breath hitched just as you moved forward, the way his eyes trailed over your face falling onto your lips, and the way his brows crinkled with worry as if he was holding onto every last ounce of his sanity.
“Don’t,” He whispered, more so to himself than you. You were having a bit of fun now, the game of cat and mouse the two of you played since the moment you spotted him on stage now giving you the upper hand. You debated playing with him a little more, ultimately deciding to take a different approach.
“Fine.” You smirked, pulling away from him, his disapproval evident in the way his face fell flat as you widened the distance.
You turned away, not really sure where exactly you were going but knowing he was following close behind anyway.
“Where are you going?”
You snigger, “I thought you didn’t want me here.”
He was so easy right now, excuse you if you wanted to keep the upper hand for a while longer. There were less people here than where the two of you stood moments prior, the lights from the dance floor dimmed from this section of the club.
“You’re being childish.” He called out, making you turn on your heel.
“Why?” You're back in his face, this time all fire. “Because i’m doing just as you wanted?”
He smiles, this time approvingly. A sense of uneasiness fills you, second guessing just how much of this interaction was really you having the upper hand.
“Is that what you’re doing?” He asks, his voice a low whisper barely audible over the music if you weren’t so hyperaware of everything he says or does, he gets even closer. “Or are you just being fussy cause I didn’t want to kiss you?”
It was the first time any of you had come so close to acknowledging the tension the two of you built up. Your heart skipped a beat, what you could only assume was the alcohol telling you to lean into him closer.
“Is that the truth?” You finally build the courage to speak, taking note of Jisung’s gaze fixated on your lips. “Cause If I could make one guess right now, I’d say you’re lying.”
“I’m not.” He replies, though he doesn’t sound like he’s even convinced himself.
“Then prove it.”
The last thing you wanted was for him to leave you hanging, but call it an inkling or a gift of the prophecy, a part of you knew he wouldn’t be able to walk away. Not with the way his hand had somehow found its way around your waist again, pulling you even closer than you’d been moments prior.
You were always the impatient type, so it was you who ultimately gave in, leaning into him to finally close the distance that felt like it was holding on by a thread. He reacted slowly, his breath hitching as your mouth met his, the kiss experimental yet powerful. Before either of you could deepen it you pulled away, a part of you waiting for a reaction you were honestly quite terrified of. You were beginning to turn away when you felt him move, his grip on your wrist firm but not uncomfortable as he spinned you to meet his eyes once more.
You barely had a chance to apologize when he kissed you. This time without the worry of the two of you finding out just how much each other wanted this, this time with both your hearts on the line. You kissed each other roughly, all of the pent up anger from before taking its course in the way you tasted each other.
It felt like a zap of electricity through you. The way his palm cupped your face as the kiss became heavier, every second building the very fire you had been fighting against.
You’d never expected any of this, and though you knew in the back of your mind that every part of this was wrong and that you couldn’t stay here forever, you pushed it back into the corner.
The both of you tore away from each other for a moment to breathe, the look in your eyes suggesting that the last thing you wanted was to be apart.
“Bathroom?” You suggested the first place you could think of that wasn’t far enough to give you both time to second guess anything.
He laughed, your heart churned at the idea that he might’ve changed his mind, but that same panic ceased when he spoke.
“I know one place better.”
☆ 🎸 ☆
You had barely given Jisung anytime to shut the door and twist the lock before capturing his lips into yours again. He thought back through the night, the glimpse he’d gotten of you passing through the bar that he convinced himself was a ghost of his imaginations now standing in front of him, tasting of alcohol and something sweet as you kissed him with no worries in the world.
He had brought you to one of the private rooms this club had that he only found out through the guys’ excessive use of them. Every club this big had made for VIP guests and of course musicians, though they weren’t that famous enough to have access to that begged the question of how Jeno had secured access to this place. A thought that slipped his mind the second your tongue swiped against his bottom lip for permission to deepen the kiss.
He accepted, your mouths clashing in what was all desperate in a drunk frenzy. You let out a low moan, one that only made his pants grow tighter.
You pulled back, all confidence from earlier gone, your eyes hazed and cheeks flushed as you finally took a moment to soak up the surrounding area. He held back a smile, you looked like you were trying your hardest to stay on this plane of existence, trying to calm your heavy breathing.
“What’s this place?”
“Exclusive VIP room.” He regretted the words the second they left his mouth. Your face slipped for just a split moment. He thought maybe saying that would give you ideas, ones he didn’t want you to have of him. He opened his mouth to speak again but you cut him off, a shimmer of mischief in your eyes as you noticed the couch sitting against the wall of the room.
“Well since you know this place so well,” You tugged his arm towards the couch, giving him space to take a seat before climbing on top of him. “Why don’t you let me take the lead?”
Jisung knew his ears were hot to the touch, hoping it at least came off as the alcohol even though his body told enough to point out that you were the reason alone for his current state of disarray. His hands found their way around your hips as you connected lips again, this one building up to be heavier than the ones before.
The needy sounds you made before pulling away just to kiss around his throat, you wanted to mark him as your own, not knowing just how much he had already been yours. He let out a groan when your hips rocked against him incidentally, or maybe not when you smiled so proudly before grinding down again, this time with much more intention.
His voice came out breathy, “You’re drunk.” He repeated your words from earlier to you. His grip on your hips tighter, trying to keep you from pressing down against his growing erection.
“So are you.”
There was another meaning to the excuse, the both of you knowing internally how much was on the line. The last thing Jisung wanted to do was to let you go, it had been a century since he last felt your touch and he couldn’t imagine going through it all over again, but the last thing he wanted was for you to change your mind in the morning.
“I don’t want you to regret this,” He spoke probably the most honest that he’d been with you in a long time.
Your palm cups his face, staring into his soul when you reply. “I’ve never regretted any moment i’ve ever shared with you.”
You kiss him again, this one short yet burning with the shared promise that he accepts. His breath is knocked out as you both find the same quick rhythm as before. It’s all breathing and taking in each other with every suck of skin now, bruises forming on your delicate neck that he couldn’t resist but to taint just as you did to him.
You shift above him giving enough space for him to slip your petty excuse of a skirt up, your panties soaking with your arousal. He pulls you directly on his fully hard bulge in his pants, a loud moan pulled from your lips as you feel the stimulation to your clit even through the fabric.
“Fuck–“ You curse loudly, his strong hands forcing you to move harder against him. “Sung please.”
Jisung wasn’t sure just how much harder he could get, the plea in your voice going straight to his dick. He loved just how needy you could get, even though you refused to admit it every time he pushed you to that point. You were full of pride, that’s why it was so fun to play with you, to see that facade break and to get you to admit every truth you had hidden, one by one.
He wanted to test your limits now, and what better way to do that than talk to you just as you really wanted. “Come on darling,” he reused the old nickname that always worked on you, “I thought you were the one taking the lead?”
You groaned out in part annoyance and pleasure, “F- fuck you.”
“Maybe next time,” He smirked, capturing your lips again, sucking up your moans while helping you chase your high. Your thighs felt like fire, grinding faster and rougher against him, his groans matching yours as the both of you felt your climax approaching.
Jisung’s mind slipped into imagining another scenario in which you were riding his thigh all by yourself. He couldn’t help but think about how lucky he’d feel being used by you to get yourself off almost coming in his pants just thinking about it.
“Ji please i’m so close,” Your voice pulled him from his thoughts and instead to take in the you who was right in front of him. Your panties proved you right, wetter than before and soaking up all of the juices that fought to come out of you.
He knew he wasn’t that far from finishing either, the last time he jerked off being a month ago so the dry spell wasn’t helping him last longer anyway. “Me too darling, come with me.”
The nickname triggered your orgasm, your juices spilling out of you as you clenched around nothing, wishing you could have come with him inside you and not just from the pressure on your clit. Nonetheless your body felt like you had just reached nirvana.
“I’m sorry my darling girl,” Jisung whispered a quick apology when he heard your whine, the last few movements overstimulating you but enough to get him off untouched. He bit his lip, holding in his sounds as he came in his pants, feeling all kinds of relief with a mixture of embarrassment now since the last time he came in his pants was back in high school.
“Fuck,” he sounded breathless, looking down to see the wet mark you left on his jeans, his cock firming slightly at the sight.
The room was silent, except for the muffled music from outside where the club was still in full swing. Your body was warm, slumped against him in an almost domestic way. His hand found its way to your hair, scratching your head and earning a small purr of comfort from your lips.
He’s not sure how long the two of you sat like that, time had lost all meaning when he was surrounded by you. Your voice trembled out almost regretfully, “We shouldn’t do this again.”
He knew it was coming just as it did before, the memories of the shared night between the two of you right before you completely disappeared springing into his mind again.
“I wouldn’t ever hurt you.” He whispered to you, oblivious to how your fear never stemmed from him hurting you. You stopped yourself from crying, knowing everything that he didn’t.
You kissed him over and over again, as many times as you could hoping it would convey your deepest affections to him.
His heart beamed, every single moment of happiness in his life could never result to the way he felt now. And when you pulled back this time, you met his eyes so full of love that you were so scared of admitting yourself. He always wore his feelings for you so open and honest.
“I want you,” You spoke slowly at first, hoping that he’d understand what you meant without having to finish the sentence. He sat there innocently, brows furrowed. You let out a shaky breath, “I want you to be my first.”
The night that almost felt like a dream now, one that he could never forget. One that he was aware of that ended with you never speaking to him again and not coming back for five years.
With that he sighed, “You’re right.”
And though the two of you seemingly didn’t want whatever any of this was, none of you took the initiative to leave. Clinging onto the silence like it was the only way you could keep time frozen, and keep hold of one another.
Part Three: Mid December
Stained Glass Eyes and Colorful Tears
☆ 💫 ☆
You really did mean it when you said you shouldn’t do this again, it’s not your fault that somehow for the past few weeks the two of you ended up meeting up more than once.
His hands made towards your shirt, removing the garment with a swift motion as he pinned you against the door. You caught his lips, biting down enough to make him wince before wiping your tongue over the spot.
He pulls away chuckling, wiping at his mouth with his thumb. “You’re impatient today.”
You don’t deny it, instead further proving his point by removing his shirt. He smiles and you can’t help but want to wipe the stupid cockiness off his face. Instead of biting his face off you kiss him again, hot and heavy. There was nothing you needed more than him right now.
He seemed to feel the same, or at least understand how badly you’d been wanting him since the second you showed up unwarranted at the Oblivion practice room. You knew he was going to be busy all week, so why not stop by for a quick greeting in holiday spirits.
“You’re busy aren’t you?” You reply to his earlier statement, unbuttoning his pants as he kissed down your neck. You can feel him laugh from where he stands, pulling away from you ever so slightly making you pout. Why did he always have to drag it out? You could probably show up with nothing but his T-shirt on and a pair of panties under and he’d probably still find a way to make you whine before giving in.
“No, not for another thirty minutes until the guys come in.”
You shrug, “We have enough time then.” Your hand reaches into where you undid his pants, pulling a sharp gasp from the raven haired man.
He groans before grabbing your wrist, “You’re really going to regret starting this.”
Maybe you were, but it’s not like your mind was fixed on how this arrangement would ruin everything and only create more chaos, right now you just needed to touch him and preferably get off some time within the next half hour.
He gave in, lifting you up where your legs wrapped around his waist as he brought you to the relaxing side of the room filled with a mini fridge, bean bag chairs, and finally a couch that he set you down on.
“Are you gonna fuck me now?” You said blatantly. It wasn’t that you both hadn’t gone the whole way, for fucks sake you’d fucked before you even left in the first place, but you knew for some reason he was holding back from completely giving in. The last few hook ups were mostly handjobs or his tongue and fingers but you were starting to grow a little more desperate. Clearly.
He ignores your question, pulling your pants off of you and eyeing the set you had slipped on with no ulterior motives, truly. You were only trying to see if maybe lingerie was more his style, who were you to decline him if he finally decided to get you off with more than just his fingers?
“Darling,” His voice was laced with want as he took in just how much you were dolled up for him. “Are you trying to drive me crazy?”
“That depends,” you muttered, “is it working?”
He dives back onto your lips, answering with his tongue because talking was overrated anyway. You moaned into the kiss, gripping onto his back, the muscular muscle was admittedly not what you were expecting when you first saw him without a shirt but it was not something you were opposed to either.
You whined into his mouth as he pulled away again, all frustrations bursting as you cried out, “Are you fucking serious?”
He giggled, like you were a damn comedian and not two seconds away from pinning him down and riding him until you could finally feel relief. The bastard would probably find a way to make you beg even if that were the case. That was a great tactic for another day though.
“Relax,” He uttered, kissing down your neck and chest all the way until he reached your lower belly, to which he liked a stripe just over the hem of the fabric. You sucked in a breath, he was so close to where you needed him now, his breath fanning against your clothed cunt that began clenching down on nothing, just desperate to be touched.
“Fuck Darling your thighs,” He sucked down on them everywhere that he could. “You don’t know how many times i’ve imagined them, how much i’ve been holding back from leaving them without any marks every time you showed up in front of me with your legs on full display.”
His fingers smoothed over your skin, the redness blooming against your thighs where the bruises had already begun to form. He lifted your legs up sliding off your panties before throwing them over his shoulder. Your heart raced, was he finally giving in?
He pulled his hard length out of his jeans, pumping his huge size twice for good measure. You salvitated at the sight, it was long with a slight girthiness, a long thick vein passing through the middle just barely meeting his pink tip. You’d gotten a taste before and could barely wrap your whole mouth around it without gagging let alone the whole length. You imagined taking it now with zero prep.
“Wait!” You called out, “I don’t think it’ll fit just like that sungie.”
It definitely wouldn’t, but you didn’t want to kill the vibe when you’d been begging him to fuck you for days.
He chuckled, “I know baby, so keep your legs closed tight for me alright?”
You didn’t have time to ask, you felt his size squeeze between your thighs, the wetness of your arousal being the only form of lubrication as his cock slid against your cunt. You let out a high pitch moan as he made contact with your clit.
He holds onto your legs, keeping them from moving as he slowly begins to thrust. You felt the air knocked out of your lungs, the feeling so pleasurable and despite the fact that he wasn’t fucking you it felt like he was.
“Fuck–“ You whine as he built a pace, the slide rough and desperate. You hardly had any control with how good it felt, your entire body was like putty.
He groaned, “Come on darling, keep your legs tight it’ll feel better.”
You nodded, closing your eyes as you tried your hardest to keep your voice quiet which proved to be harder than you were expecting with how insane every movement rubbed your clit. Jisung was out of breath, probably using up what was the last of his control to make sure not to completely slip inside you.
His hand came forward suddenly, undoing the clasp of your bra. Before you could ask, you felt as he began to fondle your breasts, teasing his thumb against your sensitive nipple. You were about to moan when you heard it. The muffled sound of his phone ringing from wherever the fuck he’d left it in this room.
He let out a groan that you only assumed was annoyance, choosing to disregard the call to focus on getting the both of you off. You were close, you felt it in the way your legs shook and the pressure in your stomach threatened to snap. Jisung didn’t look like he was going to last much longer either, his hold on your legs faltering as his thrusts became sloppier.
“Ji- jisung please,” Your body was threatening to release at any moment now, when suddenly you felt him slip, the tip of his cock sliding ever so slightly into your pussy. It stung but it was enough to finally trigger your orgasm, a desperate plea of his name over and over again until you finally came down from your high.
His ruts continued this time at a faster pace as he reached his own peak, the cum spilling out of you helping him slide against you faster. “Fuck baby i’m gonna cum.”
You nodded, a whine leaving your lips as he finished, a few final movements to milk out his orgasm. You fought to keep your eyes open, watching the way his warm liquid covered your stomach, clenching at the thought of it filling you instead.
He tried to steady himself as he came down, bringing one of his hands up to run through his hair where small beads of sweat had formed. The room was silent save for the two of you trying to catch your breaths. A few seconds later you felt him move followed by a piece of fabric on your stomach.
“Sorry,” he whispered shyly. You almost laughed, the cuteness of his just too adorable to go unnoticed.
“It’s okay, I liked it.”
The tips of his ears had gone red, and you knew he was embarrassed because he avoided any eye contact with you, instead cleaning off the, honestly impressive, amount of cum he’d left on you as well as what was dripping down your thighs.
When he finished he helped you slide your clothes back on, the act being a bit intimate if you thought about it too much. So you didn’t, instead paying all of your attention to his body that you wished you appreciated more in the moment. He was fairly sculpted, his abs detailed, you wanted so badly to run your hands against them.
“Are you already imagining round two?” He broke the silence, the shyness from earlier replaced with his same old cocky demeanor, only this time instead of it making you want to strangle him, you found yourself smiling.
“Hmm. Maybe,” You fake a thought, “now i’m thinking about the next time you’ll be free.”
He smiles, and for the first time in a long time you feel your heart beat faster remembering just how happy it made you to make him smile. You allow yourself this moment now, being close enough to him that you could feel the warmth radiating off of him. It wouldn’t last long that’s for sure, but you knew this time at least he wouldn’t be the one with his heart on the line.
“There’s a festival we have booked next week, a Christmas one,” He starts, voice low, “I’d want you to go.”
You don’t even allow yourself time to think about it, already having known about the festival since Aeri had brought it up a few weeks ago, granted at the time you didn't know that their band was part of the performing list but it made the decision to go easier.
“Then I will.”
It was a simple answer, one he appreciated a lot by the way his cheeks reddened. He was about to speak when there was a knock from the door. His eyes widened in horror, picking up his phone from where it was long forgotten on the floor to check the time.
He rushed forward to throw on his clothes, the frightened hamster look on his face getting worse with every knock. You had to hold in a laugh, the situation just too awkward to fully process.
You stood up as casual as you could look with your hair tussled, skin slick with sweat, and a subtle shake in your legs. Jisung ran towards the door with you following right behind him to take the exit as soon as he opened it.
He opened it, revealing a tan skinned man who looked not at all happy. “Hey,” The guy you now recognized as the lead singer from up on stage spoke, “What the fuck took you so damn long, i’ve been waiting here in the freezing cold!”
“Don’t you have a key?” Jisung replies.
“I lost that shit two weeks ago,” he pauses, “don’t tell Mark.”
It’s only then that the man registers you, not having noticed you standing right behind Jisung’s tall frame. His brows raised, like he was trying to decipher who the hell you were and why you were in their practice room when Jisung wasn’t really the type to bring a fan into their spaces. He runs his eyes over the two of you, noting the disheveled hair and clothes.
Right when the guy was about to speak to you, Jisung grabbed onto your hand, and with a quick kiss to your cheek, he helped you sneak around the other male, muttering a “See you soon, darling.” As you did your best to scurry away before the man could ask you any questions.
“It was nice meeting you?” The man yells almost like a question.
You find yourself laughing the second you’ve put enough distance, what should’ve felt way more embarrassing felt ecstatic. One thing was for certain, you would never regret him.
☆ 🎸 ☆
“Alright everyone, we can take a break now.” Mark uttered, setting down his guitar to begin stretching his arms.
This practice had lasted roughly two hours so far. Usually Jisung would be dying for a break when they hit the hour and half mark but this time he was anything but happy about it.
“Yo Jisung Park,” Donghyuck set the mic down, running towards Jisung in record time speed, stopping him as he made his way over to the mini fridge. “You gonna come clean now? ”
Jisung rolled his eyes, Donghyuck had been dying to get more information out of him he knew it because throughout practice after every song the brunette would stare at him with an uncomfortable smirk on his face. He was only able to avoid it because Mark, Jeno, and Jaemin all came in a minute after you left. When Jisung refused to acknowledge the singer he only added, “Or maybe you already did that.”
He was seconds away from shushing him until Jaemin joined the conversation. Poking into Jisung’s arm, “What’s this guy on about, huh? You keeping secrets now?”
Jisung barely had time to speak when Jeno suddenly spoke from beside him, “Ah ah we don’t allow secrets here.”
“Didn’t you keep a secret about hooking with Mark’s noona?” Jisung spat towards Jaemin, his wide smile never leaving his face.
“Anymore,” the lead guitarist replied, “We don’t keep secrets anymore.”
“I forgave him a long time ago,” Mark shrugged, an apple in his hand as he took a seat in one of the bean bags. “So what’s got Hyuck on your ass?”
Donghyuck answered before Jisung could, not that he would’ve since he’d recently gotten really good at stalling, “Jisung brought a girl here.”
Jaemin gasped in his typical dramatic flare, “When was this?”
“Earlier today!” Donghyuck answered, earning a scowl from Jisung that he ignored, “She left right before you guys showed up.”
“What about it?” Jisung retorted, patience waning, “You guys bring girls over all the time.”
“That’s true for most of us, but what’s surprising is that it was you.” Mark answered, biting into his apple.
“That’s not all either–“
“Donghyuck don’t–“
“A hunch of mine tells me she’s more than just a friend or a fan.”
That got Jeno’s attention, “Oh? Do we know her?”
Jisung rolled his eyes. Out of all of the people in this room that could’ve found out, why did it have to be Donghyuck?
“We’ve definitely heard of her, my guess is it’s that friend from highschool. Ning, was it?”
“Couldn’t be, i’ve met her and I'm like ninety-nine percent sure her type is not Jisung.” Mark adds.
“Jisungie wouldn’t just sleep with anyone, this has to be someone important to him.” Jaemin pondered.
Jisung groaned, “Who said anything about sleeping–“
“Quiet, hyungs talking,” Jaemin fluttered his lashes, “So if I were Park Jisung and i’m bringing a girl back that I don’t want my hyungs to see then it would have to be—“ He turns around, facing everyone as he snaps his finger, “Mark’s noona.”
“Man?” Mark frowns from where he’s sitting.
Jisung resists the urge to argue when Donghyuck speaks again, “Wasn’t her, I saw the girl. She’s hot alright, might even be a bit out of your league.”
“Who would it be then,” Jeno asks aloud, taking a shot in the dark with his next answer, “Y/N?”
Jisung knows just how obvious he is when the sound of your name alone is enough to make him freeze.
“Y/N?” Donghyuck practically shouts, “the same y/n that disappeared half way across the world?”
Jisung knew one of these days he’d regret going out for drinks with his friends and showing up back at the apartment wasted. Unfortunately for him, he becomes quite the chatterbox after one too many drinks, and his favorite topic is you.
“No fucking way!”
“When did she come back?”
“Can we meet her?”
He ignored all of the questions they asked, looking to Mark desperately for some help, since he was the only one who they all really listened to. Mark cleared his throat, “Guys come on don’t pressure him if he doesn’t wanna talk about it then he doesn’t need to.” Jisung smiled, thankful for Mark’s effort to back him up.
Mark stood up from his seat then, tossing the core of his now finished apple into the trash, “But I am curious on what she was doing here.”
Jisung shut his eyes in disbelief but mostly just acceptance, the rest of the guys starting over with their round of questions until he finally decided to shut it down. “Fine. Yes, I was with y/n. Yes, she did come back and it was a few weeks ago. And no you can not meet her if you guys keep acting like this.”
Donghyuck points and laughs at the others, “I already met her.”
Jisung’s face goes red, he turns away trying to avoid any and all eye contact as he walks towards the mini fridge, Mark really made that apple look good.
“Uh Oh he’s hiding something!” Jaemin cackles maniacally. Jisung still wonders what makes women attracted to him and not just want to file a restraining order on him, he was clearly insane.
“Wait.” Donghyuck thinks for a moment. Looking back on when he first ran into Jisung and you, the way you both stood like deers in headlights, how protective he was of you, the way you wobbled away. “Oh my god. You guys were fucking in here weren’t you?”
Jisung took a second too long to dismiss the older’s claim, the others collectively gasping as they realized Donghyuck was right.
“I knew it!” Donghyuck cried, “Oh my god Jisung. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“We didn’t fuck!” Jisung replied since technically it was true, you both hadn’t gone all the way.
“Man please don’t tell me it was where I was sitting.” Mark’s frown grew worried.
“We didn’t have sex on the bean bag Mark,” Jisung reassured the guitarist, him sighing in relief.
“But you did have sex.”
Jisung groaned, if he had to admit it just to get the rest to shut up then perhaps what was the harm. He thought back to you. If he admitted that the two of you had a sex life and that wasn’t something you wanted everyone to know, he would never forgive himself. In the end he let the guys do what they do best.
Theorize.
“If they did have sex it would’ve had to have been on the couch.” Jaemin concluded like it was the most obvious answer in the world.
Jeno shook his head, “Gross man, I nap there sometimes.”
“Alright guys that’s enough, break is over.” Mark called, the rest of the guys groaning as they walked back to their places, tuning and adjusting their instruments.
Jisung was about to walk back with the group when Mark stopped him, “Look, i’m not going to bug you or anything but I just want to make sure that you know what you’re doing. You’re not just my bandmate you’re all like a family to me, and I know things didn’t end too well with y/n the last time so I just want you to know,” He took in a breath. “I’m here for you.”
Mark always meant what he said, and though he wasn’t the type to meddle as the others did, he only took a step in when he wanted to make sure everything was okay. He cared a lot about the guys, and in the same way he said it, Jisung always viewed him the same way. Growing up an only child they were the closest thing to brothers that he would ever have. And since he didn’t really have his family around, all he had was them.
He nodded at Mark, “Don’t worry, I have a good feeling about this time.” Mark hummed, making his way towards his own place, Jisung following right after him.
☆ 💫 ☆
“You’ve been suspiciously busy lately,” Aeri stated as she observed you from where she sat in the living room, eyeing your body from head to toe.
“Good afternoon to you too?” You said, unscrewing the cap from the water bottle you stopped at the kitchen to grab, gulping down the liquid because running away after sex really did make you dehydrated.
Aeri scrunches her face, “You had sex with Jisung didn’t you?”
You choke on your water, coughing and surprising the girl enough for her to get up to pat your back. Once you finally regain composure you look at her again, contemplating how to answer when your own body practically gave it away. “I—“
“Was probably never going to tell me right?” Aeri rolls her eyes, “you and your darn secrets, have I ever kept a secret from you?”
Right as she says that, a woman you aren’t sure you’ve ever met steps out from her room, a baggy t-shirt on with splotches of red and purple marks on her neck, waving a quick hi before asking where the restroom is, to which Aeri points to the down the hall door to the left.
Your eyebrow arches at your friend, no question needed since she understands exactly what you’re trying to imply. “Yoona isn't a secret!”
Yoona emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later, now without the marks on her neck being visible, the power of makeup. She offers a quick bow to the two of you before waving at Aeri to call her later. You make a face as in, hello there’s your secret right there.
Aeri tries again, “Yoona isn’t a secret, she's a new edition!”
“I didn’t even know you were into girls.”
“Yeah well neither did I until I volunteered at the meat association and met a girl named Hazel.”
“What?”
“Not the point,” Aeri changes the subject from her back to you because the two of you had been friends for long enough that she knew how much you loved to deflect. “You’re keeping secrets, you have been since the beginning and usually I would let you just come to me on your own time but now i’m really worried about you.”
You sigh, “Aeri, there’s nothing for you to worry about I can handle this on my own—“
“Really?” She cuts you off, her tone is far from angry and more so coming from a place of worry, “Cause you’ve been ignoring any and all calls from your mom for the past week that she even somehow found my number and tried to ask if I knew anything about where you were.”
Your heart stopped, suddenly feeling sick. It was stupid to think that your mom would just let you leave, she wasn’t the type. She was calculated, she knew how to handle things. Of course she wasn’t going to just allow for you to leave without knowing exactly where you were going. The call to Aeri wasn’t really her asking, it was a warning to you.
“Hey,” Aeri calls out again, “I’m not mad or anything I’m just worried. Jisung is my friend too, and I know that if you’re getting involved with him again and this ends up the same way as before then— I really don’t know how he will react a second time.”
You take in a breath, thinking over her words. Your leaving wasn’t going to affect Jisung, the two of you barely started hanging out together you were sure you meant at most, nothing to the guy other than someone he felt comfortable enough sleeping with. The only one who was going to end up heartbroken was going to be you, and you’d make sure of it.
“Jisung doesn’t like me, not like he used to.” You respond flatly, though now a part of you isn’t sure how true that is anymore.
“Okay,” Aeri sighs in defeat, “If that’s what you think.”
You stand still for a moment, your friend taking her seat on the couch once more as if the conversation had never happened, because Aeri was like that. If you weren’t going to come clean then she wasn’t going to force you to, but she sure as hell was going to make sure you thought things over a bit.
The festival was much more packed than you had expected, with loads of trucks and vendors surrounding the place targeting any and all visitors who were awaiting their favorite bands' sets to begin. You took a deep breath, the anxiousness in your body only getting worse since you first started getting ready with Aeri earlier in the day.
You were a bit nervous, but more specifically shy to see Jisung perform. He mentioned that he would more than likely be busy most of the day, but he’d definitely find you after the show because there was a lot he needed to tell you. So now you stood here, Aeri having escaped from your grip to go check out some candy apple stand that honestly you should’ve gone to check out with her but the idea of eating anything right now only made you feel like you’d vomit.
It didn’t help that you dressed up with a skirt, the pair of linen tights were the only thing keeping you from freezing since you had forgotten to bring a thicker jacket. The sun would be setting soon, so you hoped that the crowd would be able to produce enough uncomfortable heat that would help keep you from freezing.
You let Aeri know that you were going to be waiting around, maybe checking a few early performances before Oblivion had to go in, scheduled about an hour from now. So you did, squeezing through a few people to hear this newer up and coming band called Cosmic Love.
By the third song you felt a sneaky hand wrap around your waist, a gasp pulled from your throat at the contact before you noticed who exactly it was. Behind a stupid black cap that barely hid his eyes, and a black mask that at least did a little better at not giving the man’s identity away if it weren’t for you being able to recognize his tall lanky figure in an instant.
“You’re cheating?” He teased, looking over at the band that were still performing on stage.
“It’s a girl band i’m cheering for, is that still considered cheating?”
He nods as if it were obvious, making you erupt in giggles that you were lucky weren’t loud enough to drag the audience's eyes onto you both. Jisung wasn’t exactly unknown, the band had a pretty solid fanbase now so people noticing the Oblivion’s bassist out in the crowd would definitely pull a reaction.
You can tell he’s smiling through his uncovered eyes. He leans in closer, pulling the mask down slightly to whisper, “Come with me, I want to show you something.”
You agree, holding onto his hand as he drags you away, music fading into the background. The two of you make it to what you assume is the artist's rooms, groups of trailers with different names written all over the place, leading you to the one with Oblivion written on it.
The room is silent, except for the distant music that you could hear from the stage being only a few feet away. You looked around, taking in the room around you. The heater was definitely on, since it was warmer than outside, other than that it was pretty empty. Most of the space was taken up with the band's equipment and a random table with uno cards left all over it.
You raised a brow, grabbing onto one of the cards and turning your attention back over to Jisung, who stood coolly, his eyes already on you before you even turned around.
“You brought me here to play uno?”
He laughed, “Yeah, picked you from the crowd just to make you eat four cards.”
“Hey,” you argue playfully, “I’m actually really good at uno!”
He hummed, walking towards you steadily, urging you to continue.
“I’m serious!” You grin just as he finally makes it straight to your face, his hands coming up around your waist again making your heart flutter.
The two of you stay like that for a moment, breathing in each other's scents as he pulls you into his hold. You pray that he couldn’t hear how hard your heart was beating, or if he did that he at least wouldn’t ask. He smelled the same he always did, only this time slightly of cherries.
“I missed you.” He broke the silence, his voice barely over a whisper.
You were thankful for the position now, his face in your neck allowing your body to be a bit more vulnerable, warmth spreading on your face with just how intimate the moment felt.
You didn’t have time to respond when the front door slammed open, a group of men walking in with one who you recognized in as the guy who definitely knew you and Jisung were fucking since he had caught you guys a week prior, the other being that dude with a creepy smile. Jisung had already moved away from your hold, well not fully, as his hand still held onto you in an almost protective way.
“You?” your eyes widened, the creepy smile guy making the same expression as you only with his wide smile on display. “You’re that one guy from the hallway!”
“You’re Y/N right?” The lead singer answers, assuming he was the one you were referring to. Your brows furrow, “It was just a hunch, i’m Donghyuck.” He says cutting you off again.
Jisung groans, “What are you guys doing here, I thought you guys were busy sneaking around and grabbing food!”
“Yeah well we did too,” The quiet one with a mole under his eye interrupts, “Until we turned around and noticed our only bassist had disappeared.”
Jisung doesn’t respond to that. You try to hold back a smile, wondering if he had left the group after he spotted you.
Smiley dude sighs walking towards where the two of you stood, “Look it would be different if it were Mark who disappeared, I could cover his parts.”
“Dude?” A man replies who you could only guess was Mark.
“But we don’t have another bassist, so try not just escaping without letting any of us know,” The guy says, patting Jisung's shoulder. “Hey there by the way, long time since I last saw you.”
Jisung turns to you in confusion, “You know Jaemin?”
He doesn’t seem angry when he says it, but you panic anyway hoping there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings, “No! I mean no not really, remember how I told you one of the first days I came back I met some creep who was way too talkative.”
The guys laugh, mostly at Jaemin while Jisung puts two and two together. Jaemin rolls his eyes at the group, “I met her first technically so I’m not sure why you guys are laughing so hard.”
Donghyuck laughs, “Yeah and almost scared her away!”
Jisung tugs you a bit closer, leaning close as the other guys are completely distracted with bullying Jaemin, “He didn’t make you uncomfortable did he?”
You shake your head, “No, I mean he just kind of talks a lot.”
Jisung chuckles, “Yeah unfortunately that’s just how Jaemin is. A man of too many words.”
“I’ll have you know,” Jaemin defends himself to the others, “Many women love how free spirited and confident I am!”
“Oh i’m sure,” Donghyuck replies sarcastically, ignoring the other to look closely at the proximity between you and Jisung. He walked forward, ignoring Jisung who’s obviously trying to play body guard with how close he’s standing next to you, Hyuck could laugh, Jisung was always so obvious.
“Hello!” Donghyuck starts, “You remember me right? I’m the cool lead singer, i’m sure you at least remember my voice right?”
You’re about to reply when Jaemin starts, “Ugh can you be any more conceited. Na Jaemin,” He introduces, this time he seems pretty chill without the whole wide smiling in a dark hallway, “amazing guitarist. Have heard a lot about you, didn’t think Jisung was your type.”
“Hey don’t be rude,” Mark warns, taking the time to introduce himself simple enough you think he might be the only normal one. “Mark, i’m the leader. It’s nice meeting you—“
“Darling?” The last one responds, provoking Jisung to get a reaction.
“Jeno—“
“Ah,” you nod in understanding, “so then you guys must already know a lot about me.”
“No not really, we’ve just heard Jisung sleep talk and call out to a Darling a looooot— Ouch!”
Donghyuck earns a slap to his arm.
“That one is Jeno, our drummer,” Jisung hurries the introduction, “Are you guys leaving now?”
“Why would we do that, if you haven’t noticed buddy okie preshow is currently on stage and we’re going up in the next hour, we found you to tell you that you need to hurry up and tune your shit.” Donghyuck replies.
“I would’ve said it in a nicer way,” Mark says, “but he’s right.”
Jisung groaned, it was so like the others to jump in just to tell him to hurry up, if anything Jisung was always the first to get ready, he’d already tuned his shit how was it his fault the guys still hadn’t done their duties.
You smiled, patting on his shoulder. “Hey it’s okay,” You say, “I’ll be in the crowd waiting for you.”
He contemplates for a moment, before coming to an obvious decision. “Go with me, I promise it won’t take long.” You frown, looking over at the others wondering how they’d feel about that. “they won’t mind.” Jisung assures you. He knew you so well that he could practically read your thoughts straight from your head.
“Okay,” you whisper. He smiles, relieved by your answer.
“Alright then,” Mark coughs, bringing all attention to him, “Let’s make this quick, the sooner we finish the sooner we have free time for ourselves.”
The group nods at the guitarist, hurrying out of the trailer. Jisung’s hand never once leaves your own, dragging you with him to be a part of something you never thought you’d ever be in the position to see. Your stomach churns, the wave of anxiety from earlier threatening you as you try to distract yourself from it.
💫/🎸
The guys finished up quicker than you’d thought, well at least most of them did. Jisung had already tuned and did a few practice sessions before he went out with the guys. Now as all of you stood backstage in one of the smaller practice areas, he ran up towards you, “How is it being back here?”
You fake contemplate, “Hmmm, I don’t know, I guess I can see the appeal of groupie life.”
His brows raise, “I’d hope that you just mean me.”
“Who else would it be? The other band from earlier?”
He rolls his eyes, grabbing your hand once again and tracing his thumb over your palm, “Do you wanna get out of here?”
“Ji,” You start, looking behind him to see the guys in their own world doing a few practice warmups on their own, “You have like thirty minutes until you have to be on stage.”
“Yeah but what can I do,” He comes in closer, his lips tracing barely a centimeter from your neck, “I want you so badly.”
You bite your lip, hoping to stifle to gasp you almost let free, your neck always so sensitive. He shifts his head, looking into your eyes with his pupils wide, his desire so obvious and enchanting. You couldn’t say no even if you wanted to, and right now you wanted him just as much.
The slightest breath of a yes is enough to have him pulling you out from the room, the other guys asking where he’s going to which he ignores since he’s clearly a man on a mission right now.
He led you to a room that was fully empty and a bit crowded. The sound of the pre performers could be heard so clearly from here. “Where’s this place?” You ask, curious.
“Crew room,” He replies coolly as he twists the lock. “Don’t worry, it’s mostly unoccupied since they built the new one on the other side.
He doesn’t give you much time to ask anymore questions before he’s pulling you up into his arms. You yelp, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carries you onto one of the last few pieces of furniture in the discarded room which happened to be a counter.
“How do you know this?”
He lets out a small breath, his hand coming to your face to admire you. “I made sure to look around before running to get you.”
Of course he did, you could almost laugh now. It seems like the two of you were on the same page of where things were going for tonight. You placed your hand over his own, leaning in to kiss him deeply. Jisung immediately let in, groaning into the kiss needy as ever.
You pulled away to catch a quick breath, Jisung already kissing down your neck to repaint it from the ones he left last week that were already fading. Your hips shift on their own, body begging to be touched.
“Jisung,” You moan his name, he hums, the vibration adding to your arousal with how sensitive your neck was. “Fuck—“
He cuts off any of your previous thoughts, his hands sliding through the thin sweater of yours, through the scrappy shirt you had under to discover you wearing no bra underneath. He groaned, his huge hands cupping your breast to feel you up, thumb tracing over your sensitive nipple making you stifle a moan.
“Ji–“ He pinched, the pain quickly fading into pleasure, your legs wrapping around him tighter, craving any and all kinds of proximity.
“You never told me,” He starts, his other hand moving to lift your skirt up, sliding the fleece tights down, the sudden open air grazing your hot skin. “You never said anything about meeting Jaemin, why?”
His fingers trace over your soaked panties, refusing to fully come into contact with where you needed him most. “What?” You call, voice high and dry and mostly confused.
“You didn’t say it was Jaemin, why?”
“I–“ you squeak out, your brain short circuiting as he pushes his knuckle against your sensitive clit. “I dont–“
He clicks his tongue, “Come on darling,” his knuckle rubs against you with slightly more pressure, “use your words baby.”
“I– I didn’t know his name.” You whined, “Please– Fuck please Jisung.”
Jisung hums in response, “He was trying to impress you earlier, he’s always been an attention fiend,” You felt your heart race, not having expected Jisung to be so overprotective over you. It was super hot. “I guess he’s also trying to get back at me.”
You let out a cry, the pinch to your nipple this time felt stronger, his voice low as he disconnects his hands from where he cupped your tit, "Since I'm the only one who gets to have you like this.”
“Please–“ you beg again, earning another click of his tongue.
“What did I say about using your words?”
“Please Ji I only want you.”
His pupils dilate at your confession, “I know baby, so why don’t we let him know that.”
You let out another sob of pleasure as he moves to undress you, your sweater discarded onto the floor as he lifts your shirt to uncover your chest. He pauses for a split second, “Color?”
“Green– fuck.” You groan. When either of you would take on a rougher play you’d both make sure to have your safe words ready. As much as Jisung seemed mad, he wasn’t, but he knew how much you liked when he pretended to be, taking control over your body and leaving you begging for more.
He yanks your panties down, giving you barely a second to breathe before he’s plunging two of his fingers knuckle deep into your soaked cunt. You moan, the stretch is a bit rough but pleasurable. He stretches them a bit, trying to diminish the pain from the abrupt invasion, your wetness offering enough lubrication for him to push his long and slender fingers deeper, reaching parts of you that you on your own never seem to reach.
You fight a string of curses from leaving your throat, one hand of his pistoling his fingers in and out of you, the other rubbing circles around your tit. You feel like you could cry, the stretch hitting you just right. Your hips raise up, struggling to stay still with how fast he was fucking you with his fingers.
“You’re so beautiful,” He murmurs, adding another finger. A rush of pleasure running through you with how full you felt, his thumb coming to rub around your clit. “Jisung–“ You cry out, feeling your orgasm coming any moment now.
“Come on,” He says, “cum for me darling.”
With a few last rough thrusts, you squeeze around him, his fingers continuously fucking you at the same speed, milking your orgasm until it’s overwhelming.
You whine, the overstimulation becoming almost unbearable as he continues his movements. “Jisungie please I can’t—“
“Yes you can baby,” He coos, “one more on my fingers, you can do that for me, right?”
There’s tears streaming down your face when you nod, already feeling your second high approaching just around the corner.
“Color?” He asks, his breath heavy like he’s been holding himself back the entire time.
“Green—“ You scream out, cumming for the second time around his fingers.
“There baby I knew you could do it,” He encourages you, his fingers coming to a stop once he notices your face scrunching in discomfort, he slips his fingers out of you, bringing them to his mouth to suck on the arousal you coated them with. He hums, “You taste so sweet, like cherries. Do you wanna taste it?”
You whimper, nodding softly. He kisses you then, this time the heaviness from earlier is all gone. He kisses you like you're delicate, like if he kisses you any harder you will disappear. You can taste yourself on his tongue, sucking on it pulling a groan from him.
“Come on baby,” He says after pulling away, “Let’s get you cleaned up.” He’s about to reach down when you hold onto his arm.
“What about you?” You whine, lifting your shaky knee to rub against where his bulge is visible through his pants.
He winces at the touch, “I’ll take care of it on my own.”
You bring your arm forward, cupping him through his pants, “But I want to help you,” you pout, “please baby can I help you?”
Fuck having any self control, Jisung nodded. You pulled him into a deeper kiss, unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out from his boxers. You pumped it slowly twice before bringing his tip to your entrance, he winces again wrapping a hand over your own to stop you, “Fuck– are you sure about this?”
You hum, “Please Ji,” You call his name like it’s a prayer, “i’ve wanted you to fuck me for so long.”
He groans, “I don’t have a condom.”
“Please?” Your bordering tears, still fucked out from your two orgasms and yet deperate for more. Ready for him to take you however he wanted. “I’m on the pill, you can finish inside.”
Jisung’s breath catches in his throat, fuck you were not making it easy. He’d wanted you for the longest time, but a part of him was worried that if he gave you this then he’d have to come clean. He looked into your eyes, contemplating his next choice.
He’d been wanting to confess to you, the fear eating him up all this time. He needed to tell you how you never once left his mind, that even for the five years you were gone he couldn’t move on, countless women and yet none of them were you. The way he looked at you now told him enough, your eyes looking into him just as he always looked into yours.
Then it struck him, maybe you did want him just as much as he wanted you. Maybe things were different this time. He invited you today to tell you everything. Well more so sing you everything. One of the many songs he’d written about you that he showed the guys who had no problem adding to the setlist.
You called out his name again, this time soft and sweet. He knew then that the order it played out didn’t really matter, he wouldn’t say no to you. Not when you looked at him like you knew how he felt because you felt it too.
He pulled you in for a kiss again, this time hoping you could read his heart with every breath shared. He lined himself up this time, the tip of his cock red and angry, desperate for your touch.
“Are you sure?” He asks once more.
You nod, “Please.”
He concedes, pushing slowly, allowing your cunt seconds to adjust to his size despite the amount of time he spent stretching you out. You wince, his girth feeling much bigger than you remembered.
“You–You’re too big—“
“It’s okay, darling,” He coos, praising you as you take every single inch of his until finally his hips meet yours. He gives you a moment to adjust, your cries winding down as you adjust to his size.
He lets out a shaky breath, your walls gripping him so tightly. You look at him through tear stained eyes, nodding at him to try moving.
His first few thrusts are agonizingly slow, dragging moans from your lips without even trying. You clench around him causing him to wince in pleasure, “Please go faster”
You feel as his thrusts become sharper, every slide enveloping your entire body in what felt like a higher ground than the one you were on now. You couldn’t even hear yourself only registering the sound of skin slapping skin and his own groans.
And when he angled his cock deeper you screamed out, every thrust hitting your sweet spot.
“Fuck– your taking me so well,” He groaned, “Your pretty pussy was made for me, huh?” You nod. “Come on say it baby,” He thrusts even harder, your voice cutting out as you try to moan.
“‘Was made for you, you croak out. Your body feels numb, completely cock drunk, saliva pooling ever so slightly out of your mouth as he makes you see stars. You feel your orgasm coming too late, clenching down on his cock as you finally cum.
Waves of pleasure hit your body, the sound of knocking not even registering through your brain as you come down. Jisung is quick to follow, his warning coming out just as quickly as yours. You feel as his cum shoots inside of you, soaking your walls and filling you to the brim.
He groans, his final thrust sloppy, pushing his cum in deeper and causing you to whine. Silence fills the room for barely a second, the knocking at the door hard to ignore with how loud it is.
“Yo Jisung, we gotta be out in less than five minutes!” The leader shouted out.
Jisung sucked in a breath, looking at you like a scared hamster. You shook your head like ‘I don’t know I just got fucked to next sunday’.
He cleared his throat calling back to Mark on the other side, “Yeah, I’ll be out.” He cringed, making you laugh.
“Okay yeah just like,” Mark pauses awkwardly before adding, “Clean up fast and hurry the fuck out!”
You laugh, hearing the footsteps leave in quick steps. Jisung looks absolutely horrified.
He gulps, “Do you think they–“
“Heard everything?” You ask rhetorically, “Yeah probably.”
He groans, his head resting on your shoulder for a quick second before he’s quickly moving off of you. He slides out of you, the two of you groaning at the slight sting.
His cum is dribbling out of you, the sight is hot and if he didn’t need to be on stage within the next three minutes he would definitely ask for another round. He shakes the thought off, panicking and reaching for the first piece of fabric on the floor, using it to wipe his liquid off of your thighs and cunt where it keeps slipping out of you.
“Ji, just give me back my panties, leave it.” You say, sitting up. He passes you the fabric, you slip it on hoping it’ll hold it enough until you’re back home. You look up, Jisung helping you put your clothes back on until you notice the fabric in his hand.
“Ji,” He hums. “That’s my sweater.” You say, staring at the now cum stained piece of clothing.
He goes red, profusely apologizing for using it and not realizing that it was your sweater. You laugh, he was always so cute. Guess that would never change.
“This isn’t how I wanted things to go.” He sighs, the two of you looking fairly more composed than you did a minute ago.
“What do you mean?” You ask.
“I mean that I wanted to tell you something before all of this,” He trails off. You tilt your head, waiting for him to further explain. He takes a deep breath before finishing his sentence. “Just, watch me on stage. I can help you understand better then.”
You nod your head, ignoring the way the anxiety from before was beginning to creep up again, this time the feeling barely able to be ignored. You hope he doesn’t notice it.
There’s another strict knock at the door, calling him to hurry up. His eyes shine as they look at you, pulling everything you feared back onto the surface as if it never left in the first place.
“I’ll see you,” He says, kissing your cheek before running to go follow the guys onto stage.
You suck in a shaky breath, giving yourself a moment to breathe. It’ll be fine. It has to be, you promised it would be.
☆ 💫 ☆
You spotted Aeri early on in the performance, she was a few feet away with a candy apple in her hand dancing along to the music with a guy right next to her that you didn’t recognize at all. She called out to you in between the third and fourth song where you said hello to the new guy she introduced as Johnny.
You were lucky enough that since the music played you had something to put your entire focus on while avoiding Aeri’s gaze that later turned into a smirk once your hair shifted while dancing revealing a brand new purple bruise there. She winked at you, before turning to the guy and dancing along with him.
The performance was going well, though there was still a part of you full of anxiety you at least were able to tune it out and focus along with the loud music, more specifically the bass. It didn’t help that after every song, Jisung was looking into the crowd, eyes landing directly on you like it was muscle memory to just find you through thousands of others.
It was during the last couple of songs when they changed a few things, instead of their regular garage mixed sound they shifted for a more soft rock melody. You heard the opening keys, Jaemin having swapped from guitar to a keyboard, the first few chords producing such a sweet and melodic sound and right as Mark strummed the first few notes, Jisung began to sing.
Every lyric flowed nicely, his vocal tone had always been one that you appreciated, the deep voice of his felt so comforting, transporting you back in time to when he first started singing. You remembered those days so clearly, coming home from school and he would sing to you, or even on your sad days when you missed your mother and she would decline every one of your calls. Those times he’d make sure to sing you your favorite songs, and at some point he’d even started writing songs for you.
Most of them you weren’t allowed to listen to, he told you it was because they weren’t ready, but a part of you knew it had to be because of a different reason. There was the time on his fourteenth birthday, you’d saved up all of the allowance your parents had given you to buy him the bass he’d wanted. He looked the happiest you ever saw him, then.
As the song progressed you listened to each and every one of the lyrics directed towards you, his eyes never once shifting from where you stood.
‘I would take the chance to live the rest of my life alone just if I could see you once more.
Cause I couldn’t live a life without you, not when everything I do is for you.
Not when you’re the only one for me, so please don’t leave me lonely.’
You took in a harsh breath, feeling as if your world would collapse.
Fuck.
This wasn’t how it was supposed to play out. Aeri wasn’t supposed to be right.
Almost as if she sensed you thinking about her she called out to you, your phone in her hand as she gave it to you. “I forgot to tell you, your phone has been ringing since earlier.” That’s right you had given her your phone earlier since she was the one with a bag.
You glanced down at the caller ID, and suddenly it felt like your entire world was falling apart. Aeri looked at you worriedly then, her eyes running over you head to toe and asking if you were okay. You could barely hear her over how hard your heart was beating.
The last thing you could remember was telling her you had to go, then running through the crowd before she could even try to reach you. You breathed out, debating answering the call at all. Away from the music there’s barely any food trucks open, about two or three people are actually in line but even then you still feel paranoid.
The phone keeps ringing, only this time you choose to answer it.
“Miss L/N?” You almost broke down hearing his familiar voice. He must’ve heard you enough that he started again, “Ah, Your mother told me I should communicate with you since you’ve been too occupied to answer her. She was wondering if we could push up our wedding date.”
Wedding Date.
Of course, because no matter how long you thought you could run from everything you still had your duties to attend to for your mothers sake, even if it was to marry a man that you didn’t even love.
☆ 🎸 ☆
When Jisung finished his song to you he noticed your absence immediately, but before he could allow himself to succumb to any anxious ideas he stopped himself, because maybe you had snuck backstage to see him after the show.
By the last song, he knew it wasn’t the truth. He could even spot Aeri from the crowd, trying to call someone through her phone. A part of him wished that this wasn’t exactly what was going on. Maybe you had stopped to go get some food? There were still a couple of trucks left behind, he forgot to mention that afterwards the guys were planning on going out for dinner. He was going to mention it after talking to you, he was hopeful that he’d get to introduce you as his girlfriend as you all were seated at the table.
The guys sensed it. He could tell by the way they quieted down as they all stepped off the stage noticing your lack of presence. Jisung should be mad at you. You left him, again, but even when he tried to be angry the first time you’d left, he couldn’t be mad at you. This time though, unlike before, he couldn’t even find a reason to be mad at himself.
He allowed himself a breath, the guys had left him to himself in their shared trailer for a moment, so now every possibility was flooding his mind. In the end it didn’t matter. There was no other way to look at this situation. He should’ve listened to Mark, or even to Donghyuck of all people. But he didn’t, and in any other timeline he was sure he wouldn’t have either.
Because everyone else were assuming that he’d fallen into a trap he’d so cautiously been trying to avoid, what they didn’t realize was that he went in fully content with the outcome.
Part Four: Late December
You
☆ 💫 ☆
It had been a week since all things went to shit. You’d hung up the second you heard the words wedding date, choosing instead to grab and pack as many clothes from Aeri’s place to run away. You were seriously going to leave again, but then you thought about Jisung. Every word he spoke through the song. You couldn’t leave him, not again.
So here you laid in complete isolation, staying in your old bedroom at your grandmother's. She stopped by to bring you food every so often, but other than that even she had a feeling that you wanted to be alone.
Your mother had called a few more times, probably expecting you to have already booked your flight back to France. But you hadn’t, and you still weren’t sure you were going to. There was too much going on in your head. How everything you didn’t want to happen happened anyway, and again, it was your fault.
It was your fault how you stupidly thought that you could come back home just to leave again like nothing ever meant anything. Because everything meant something, every place, every person, but especially him.
And now even if you were to stay what justice would that do? If you were Jisung you would never want to see you ever again. Judging by his silence, you were sure that he was on the same page. You wouldn’t even allow yourself to cry over him when you were the one who fucked up.
There was a subtle knock on the door, you wiped your eyes making sure that there wasn’t a single tear before answering with a weak, “Come in.”
Only it wasn’t your grandmother with a plate of breakfast, not unless the plate of breakfast had transformed into a pink haired woman who looked way too much like the best friend you had run away from.
You refused to look at her, not when you were already way too close to crying and seeing her look at you pitifully would just be the stick that broke the camels back.
The door shut then, leaving you and Aeri in silence. The sound of her footsteps approaching until she finally spoke, “You left me like a bad hookup.” There was humor in her voice, one that you glossed over with how sorry you felt.
“I’m sorry,” You admitted defeatedly, as if to say she was very far from being wrong, and you should’ve realized it sooner.
She sighed, “Don’t be sorry, I’m not mad I understand. Sometimes I'm too right about everything that it makes me want to leave myself behind.”
You don’t answer, nothing but your faults flooding your brain so much that you could barely register the world around you. She must’ve understood the sort of funk you were in because she moved a step closer.
“Y/N.”
Your heart squeezed at the mention of your name, which was starting to annoy you. You were acting like a kid in trouble for the first time. The idea of how aggravating you must be to everyone right now made it so that you actually made eye contact with the woman, her face full of concern.
“You always were your own worst enemy,” she sighed, before clapping her hands together loud enough to make you flinch. “Okay no more sulking. I, as your friend, am required to be here for you whenever you are sad and I've been a pretty shitty friend that I left you alone in your own thoughts for a week too long.”
You frowned, “No that’s not true all you’ve done is be a good friend. You let me stay with you and I just left without even giving a thank you.”
She rolled her eyes, “Y/N, do you think i’m here for a thank you?”
You pause for a moment, the obvious answer being no, of course not, but one part of you is still faulting yourself for not having given one anyway.
“God, I love you y/n I really do but seriously?” She scowls fully offended, “I’m not here for a little sorry, or for a thank you, I’m here because my best friend needs me and even if she thinks that she doesn’t deserve to be around anyone I know otherwise.”
Your brows are furrowed, her finger shushing you before you could reply, “Shh no no no, you’re just going to guilt yourself more and then want to push away everyone because you think you’re the problem.”
“Aren’t I?”
“Y/N, things happen. Feelings happen. The unexpected happens and you can’t just put the blame on yourself.”
“You don’t understand,” You can feel the tears forming in your eyes, using all the last of your strength to fight them from falling.
“Then help me understand! Help me see it from your point of view because all i’m getting is that you’re sitting here soaking in self hatred when I know you as one of the most selfless people in the world.”
You shake your head, the tears flooding out. “I’m not, i’m far from that. I got involved with Jisung again even when I knew this couldn’t last forever.”
“Why can’t it?”
“Because Aeri,” Your voice cracks, “I have to go. My mother is content with setting me up with some man I barely even know because it’s my duty to her as her daughter. To marry into a wealthy family and play as a puppet for the rest of my life.”
She’s silent, listening to you as you rant on about everything, finally breaking from the amount you’ve held back from telling. “I don’t even get a choice. Not if I want to be heir to everything they built. I never even wanted to leave you all behind the first time but I had to.”
“Why?” Aeri asks, and the question itself is harmless but you shake your head because how could you explain. As far as you knew, your mother wanted nothing to do with your upbringing. Yet she showed up anyway one day. Telling you that there was no other option, if you were to stay behind then she would cut you off.
“She promised to fund my education if I left with her.” You were fully sobbing now, “and grandma was only getting older so I thought it would be for the best if I left with my mother. To come back with a degree and be able to support the two of us.”
Aeri sighs, pulling you into a comforting hug. Those first few months in France had been nothing but stress and pain. Taking on an education in a foreign country where you hardly understood any of what they were talking about. Even as a graphic design major it proved to be more challenging than ever.
You thought after the last years of school you would be able to come back home. To start up a small business and pursue and build your own career, maybe then when you proved to be successful enough you would talk to Jisung and admit just how much you missed him.
Everytime anyone had left you a message you felt a huge lump in your heart. So you began to ignore each and every message, and as the years went on you grew more and more stuck. Your mother had come to you on a random day, inviting you to some dinner with another family, the Lee’s.
Hyunjae Lee was the man you were set to marry as long as both of your families had kept their promises. You’d realized it then. The reason your mother had come back for you was to secure a business deal with this family, and what better option than to a contractual marriage.
She expected it from you, she’d told you repeatedly how you owed her this. She’d given you freedom for more than half of your life that not many other kids get to entertain, so now you must pay it back.
You couldn’t do this, not after you made a promise that you would return home. If you were to marry into the family of a man that you had just met then you were to be tied down for the rest of your life, but if you were to leave now then you were to walk away from the future you had promised to have. To repay your grandmother for all of her struggles, so you had made your choice, though it didn’t last long at all.
A day after brunch with your new fiancé you had panicked. He was a decent guy, actually pretty kind for someone who came from such a high class. You exchanged numbers with the man, hoping he couldn’t read your solemn expression. And the next day when he texted and it wasn’t the man you had really wanted, you couldn’t take it anymore.
You needed time away before you locked yourself in a cage, choosing to book the first ticket you could back home. It’s how you ended up here. A trip that you thought would give you the strength to move on, only leaving you facing everything you thought was over head on.
Aeri held you tightly as you recalled to her every single event, the calls the texts you’d ignored just because if you answered you knew you’d come crawling back home fighting for Jisung to forgive you. You weren’t supposed to see him ever again, it was the best that way, at least that’s what you thought. Now you weren’t so sure.
“Look,” Aeri starts after your sobs from earlier come to a few sniffles, “I appreciate you finally letting everything off your chest, but I think you know that i’m not the one who should be hearing all of this.”
She was referring to Jisung. Of course she was. And you knew you should talk to him but how could you explain everything and expect him to just forgive you? You had played with his emotions, whether you meant to or not. The last thing you wanted was for him to see you again and remind himself of all of the pain you caused him.
“I can’t Aeri not when he's so much better off without me.”
“You can’t say that, it’s unfair. He decided to keep seeing you even when he could’ve avoided you like the plague this entire time, and honestly everytime i’ve so much as spared him a glance this past week I've realized that he never once has appeared that way.”
You hadn’t really seen anyone this past week, but that didn’t stop you from knowing how he was doing these past weeks. Your grandma had mentioned something about seeing him in passing when she was coming home from groceries and he apologized for not making time to visit her. He hadn’t looked too good, maybe a bit like he needed a friend, your grandma had said.
She’s frowning at you now, no longer holding back as she speaks with zero remorse, “The least you can do is try to talk to him, he deserves to make that choice for himself so who are you to decide for him, because it’s clear to everyone else that he had already decided to forgive you. You just took that chance away from him.”
Her words clicked then. Could it have been so obvious? Everytime you distanced yourself from the people around you only because you thought it was for their best interest, in your mothers eyes that was the same way she thought of you. It was in your best interest that you follow every rule she had set out for her.
In a lot of ways, Aeri was right, because if you really loved the boy you grew up with the way you claimed to, then you would’ve allowed him the opportunity to admit that he had forgiven you. The only person left was you who hadn’t forgiven yourself.
What did that mean now? It was simple enough for you to understand. You had to find a way to talk to him, at least after you made a quick pit stop.
☆ 🎸 ☆
Jisung hadn’t spent a lot of time doing anything except for spending all of his time in the practice room. Even with no performances coming up because of the holiday season, he needed a release. The guys had forced him to go out with them at least once, for a quick stop at a convenience store because really he had no desire to talk to anyone let alone deal with any kind of crowd at a club right now. They at least understood that part, though he had a creeping suspicion that there was something else.
He spent Christmas with Mark’s family, they were pretty welcoming and didn’t make him feel like an outsider even though he very much was, with his very solemn stray kitten look that made Mark’s mom slide over an extra slice of homemade lemon cake that her friend back in Canada had given her the recipe to.
Jisung had decided maybe it was best to spend the rest of his time in solitude, mainly because he hated being the vibe killer to everyone around him. It’s why he had declined joining any part of Donghyuck’s New Year celebration, and also because the last thing he wanted was to get drunk and wake up with a hangover on January first.
That’s how he had ended up roaming around the area, bungeoppang in hand as he sat with the thickest sweater he owned at the local park. Don’t get him wrong, he was semi aware that he looked like a weirdo, like what kind of grown man sits on a random park swing in the middle of the night on new year’s eve. This wasn’t just some park though it did mean a lot. It was where he’d first met you.
You, with a pretty bad haircut and a little bit of a thick accent when you spoke Korean that he couldn’t exactly put a name to because as a seven year old the only places he knew were school, home, and space. You must’ve been from the moon, it would explain why you spoke a bit weird and why you’d never tried bungeoppang before.
Jisung smiled at the memory, he ended up being wrong about a lot of things, but one thing stayed true. You must’ve been from the moon at least in another life because for some reason even when he couldn’t see you he felt your presence.
The air was honestly freezing, yet he felt all the more warm with the precious memory. He promised the guys that he wouldn’t allow any of his own problems to affect the band, and with their schedules becoming more and more busy since the festival he knew he had to set his mind straight. So now, he sat with the idea that once the clock struck twelve he would wash every piece of baggage from the past five years, and start a fresh and clean beginning.
“Jisung!” He heard your voice then, his body scrunching up in response because seriously he hadn’t had a sip of alcohol so was he losing his mind. A psyche evaluation was not what he was expecting to take into the new year. But then he heard you again, this time closer than before. Standing up off of the swing and turning around to see you, who seriously looked like you ran a mile to get here, a bag in one hand and a pair of shoes in the other that only made him realize you had been running barefoot.
“Wait give me a minute,” You spoke, clearly fighting for an ounce of air to fill your lungs because you had spent the last of your breath screaming out his name. “Fuck I really underestimated how long it would take me to get here.”
“What are you doing here?” He asked, not in a rude way but because seriously the last thing he expected was to see you.
You had finally caught your breath, gulping down the last of your fears before you came clean. “I had to see you.”
When he didn’t reply you stepped closer, “I haven’t been honest, and for the longest time I told myself it was in everyone’s best interest that I kept it that way because I didn’t deserve any of you in my life. But after a long enough time and really some slaps of courage from Aeri I realized that I never once considered how you felt. So i’m here to tell you everything but mostly to allow you the choice to choose how you still feel about me afterwards.”
Jisung wasn’t really sure how to reply but he did know that you had always been the type to put yourself down, it was always something he wished he could help you see differently.
He nodded, encouraging you to continue. “I love you, I think I always have but for some reason I just was so scared that I would only bring out the worst from you. When I left back to France with my mom I thought space away from you was the best for you.” You sniffled and even with how rough things were Jisung still wished he could hold you close to comfort you.
“That’s not the only thing though, I also needed a good education so I could come back and finally be enough for everyone here, and my mother was going to fund it all as long as I did everything she wanted. So I sat through years of huge galas where I had to learn the names of people who looked at me like I was never going to measure up to my family’s legacy, until eventually my mother had the brilliant idea that the only way i’d ever make it was by attaching a new last name to my own.”
Jisung felt his heart twist, had you really suffered so much being alone? He remembered Ningning mentioning having visited you once on a business trip within the last year. How you had said you were relieved to see a familiar face, especially with how lonely the atmosphere was. She said one of the main things that stood out though was that even as much as you smiled and said things were going well, it never met your eyes.
“I came back here spontaneously but it was because I needed time. I needed to feel like my life was in my control even though it hadn’t been for a long time and wouldn’t ever be if I went through with the arranged marriage.” Your voice kept its composure despite the way your hands shook. “I was never supposed to stay here, but then when I saw you again it’s like I couldn’t leave. I wanted to be around you, in any way shape or form even if you didn’t see me as anything other than a warm body.”
He couldn’t believe it, because never once had he seen you as such. You have always and would forever be the woman who taught him what love was.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t come to see you sooner and tell you all of this,” You added, “I had to see my mother and let her know that the wedding wasn’t going to happen. I talked to her a bit, she wasn’t too pleased but as long as i’m out of her hair she doesn’t really care. I’m free now so I took the first flight back and got your address through Aeri–“
“Aeri has never once come over to my place?”
“Yeah she said not to mention that because it was a secret, anyway I thought you’d probably be home but clearly I was wrong and it took me even longer to convince the guys to tell me where you went.”
“I didn’t let the guys know though? I shut my phone off just so they wouldn’t follow me.”
“Yeah well Jaemin said he had his ways.”
Jisung groaned, already knowing what exactly that meant in Jaemin’s language. He definitely had an airtag on him.
“I also passed by a small vendor and,” you opened the bag in your hand, revealing a few of the fish shaped bread hidden inside. Jisung couldn’t help but smile, you had remembered just as he did. “I packed one of each, just in case you wanted to try them all and argue about which was the best filling.” Your voice grew quiet then, “That’s only if you want to.”
The answer was obvious to him the second you had appeared in front of him explaining yourself. He was never going to forget you, it’s not what he was planning on doing in the first place. He just wanted for things to be honest, none of the confusion on where the two of you stood, just true and open love. All he ever wanted was you.
He took a few steps closer, his arms coming up around you in a tight hug, “There’s never been anything else i’ve ever wanted more than you.”
You let out a breath of relief, a few tears streaming down your face with how much pressure was lifted from off of your shoulders. Like there was a magnetic field between the two of you that you had no interest in fighting against, your lips met one another’s. The kiss was sweet and soft with all of the emotions you both felt over the years combined into one moment. Both of you accepting this change with each other because that’s what love was.
It was feeling everything all at once but willing for it to consume you. An unstoppable force that left you vulnerable and sometimes wondering if you were deserving, but also proved that you were ready for wherever it took you even if it was unexpected.
And like the sky was a paid actor, it was met with blasts of colors as fireworks went off celebrating the start of what’s to come.
Jisung of course flinched, pulling away from the kiss with an apologetic sorry for ruining what was a perfect scene out of a movie. You laughed, locking your fingers through his hand to stare up into the sky with him. His gaze occasionally falling to you, in pure joy with rose colored cheeks from the cold, something he’d never let go of.
Epilogue:
Francis Forever
Who ever thought that booking a show last minute as a filler band for a canceled performance by some popular band that fans had already bought tickets for would have the domino effect of Oblivion reaching new heights of success.
Not Jisung, but you had always known it was only a matter of time.
Since that show in February, March had become chaotic. Oblivion had regular shows booked back to back, and had even recently just been referred to some guy under Zhong Management, for help to sort out how the rest of Oblivion’s year would go.
There were also an influx of fans, fanpages, fan accounts, fanfics that Jisung definitely made sure to steer clear of considering the fact that he was in a very public relationship that was not hidden from fans in the slightest.
The fans loved you, which Jisung knew they would because who didn’t. They loved the dynamic between the two of you, researching and finding out that you had known each other since childhood which only fueled them to ask more questions about the two of you which Jisung had no problem doing during the last Fans Ask and Answer that you scheduled for each of them.
You took the job as their social media fan club manager very seriously by the way. So when Donghyuck had answered a question asking ‘What are some preshow superstitions you have?’ with ‘I’m not sure about that but we have special rules in place about no funny business before a performance.’ You had quickly ended the online questionnaire, right before running towards Donghyuck at full speed with the first thing you could find on the desk in front of you, a pencil, as your weapon of choice.
Jeno had held you back, because Jisung refused when he had already warned Donghyuck before he clicked post.
Things were going better than ever, even for you who decided to take a break from school after already having completed a two year program.
The only thing left for today was the movie marathon date you and Jisung had planned for tonight, which wasn’t the first you both had since dating, but felt brand new since every other roommate had made plans that left the house empty except for the two of you.
“I don’t understand why people like Jake Sully, he seems a bit conceited.” Jisung muttered from where he sat on the couch, your body resting against his chest as you munched on popcorn, focused on the movie.
“Cause he’s hot.”
He scrunched his nose, “He’s blue.”
You shrug, “It’s an alien thing probably, I always thought Neytiri looked better.”
He frowned at you, pulling a laugh from your lips with how cute he was when he was jealous. “I’m just kidding! Those things are way too tall anyway.”
He sighed, “I don’t wanna watch this anymore.”
You laughed again, setting down the bowl of popcorn and sliding around to wrap your legs around him. He refused to look at you, but you knew he wasn’t really upset with the way his hands found their way around your waist, soothing over your skin. “I’m kidding, no blue alien could compare to the alien right in front of me.”
He let out a snort, finally turning to face you. “As if I was jealous of that guy.”
“Oh yeah i’m sure you weren’t,” you smile, leaning in close to him. His gaze fell to your lips, silently hoping you would lean in closer so he could kiss you. You thought it would be fun to tease him for a little so you stayed there, barely a centimeter apart.
He sighed again knowing exactly what you were doing, choosing to close the distance himself. You never really got used to his kisses, your stomach fluttering anytime the two of your lips connected. You couldn’t help but want more, sliding your tongue through his lips to deepen the kiss. He tasted sweet, more than likely from the candy he’d been eating since the start of the movie.
It wasn’t until you could feel his slight bulge against you that you pulled away, smirking up at him in satisfaction over his disarray, his lips swollen and hair tussled from the quick makeout session.
“We have the house to ourselves,” He broke the silence with a whisper, leaning in close to lessen the gap between you
.“Hmm,” You answered, not even daring to hide your smile when you’ve never felt happier than this moment. “Then let’s make use of that while we can.”
࣪𖤐 the end ── ★ ̟
FINAL NOTES: if you made it until the end I’m hoping you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing! Next up is Jeno’s story so stay tuned for that! also, im wondering just how many of the songs used for every section did you guys know…
summary: when the kissing lesson lowkey gives you a bonerrrrr.. omggg…
cw: reader has curls, cheap ass couch, reader is evidently more experienced than ji, smut — kinda subby!ji, dry humping, reader gets called mommy by accident.., ji cums in his pants. oops!
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the clock read 11:14 at night and jisung’s eyes burnt holes into the ceiling. the broken springs in the couch made his back ache. no matter how hard he tried to get you and your soft, plush lips out of his mind, he couldn’t. and you being laid on top of him only made it that much harder.
after he had valiantly fought over the wall of awkwardness left behind by your kissing lesson, you and jisung had decided to watch a movie; of your choice obviously.
the movie you chose was of absolutely no interest to him. something about two guys frantically trying to get laid before college? gross.
but in requesting this movie, when you nestled between his mandspread legs and laid your head against his chest in efforts to ‘get more comfortable,’ he lost all grounds to complain.
your voice interrupted the low volume dialogue on the tv. “ji?”
he hummed in response.
“you asleep?”
“nope.”
“you enjoying the movie?”
“nope.”
you turned abruptly in shock, “huh??” now face to face with him, “it’s superbad, this is like.. the best movie.”
jisung felt his heart grow warm at the sight of your pout and the corners of his mouth threatened to raise. the gentle light of the tv on your face made you look so real to him. like something different than usual.
“i don’t know,” his purred, just above a whisper as his eyes scanned over your face, “i’m just bored of it, i guess.”
“well, go to bed then. and i’ll just go home.”
jisung immediately sat up straight, almost knocking you off of the couch. “what no!”
your eyes widened slightly at his reaction.
jisung started to ramble, “i mean, like. no, i’m not tired. i just don’t really fuck with superbad. i don’t know.”
you soothed your hand over your ear before laying back down on him, “riiiigghttt. so it’s not that you don’t want me to go home? pretty rude.”
jisung’s chest shook gently under you with laughter. “no, that too, obviously.”
you rolled your eyes before lifting your head once again to rub your ear. the sound of jisung’s heartbeat was somewhat soothing at first but it seemed to have gotten louder in the last couple minutes. your eardrums were crying out.
“jisungie, if you’re not at all entertained by this movie, why is your heart palpitating directly into my ear? you got the hots for mclovin?”
“hm?”
you sat up fully. “nothing. you’re acting weird.”
jisung felt heat rise under the surface of his skin, “whatareyoutalkingabout?”
you squinted at him. “is this because we kissed?”
you were met with silence and a blank stare and immediately curled in on yourself, “aw shit, dude…”
jisung was involuntarily unresponsive as you backed away further — as far as you could without falling off the couch. his lips were moving like he wanted to reassure you so badly but nothing was coming out of him.
“jisung, im sorry, wanted to help, i-i didn’t—
“no, no, don’t freak out,” he reached out to grab one of your arms.
“i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—
jisung grabbed onto your other arm to try and bring you back to him on the couch, “waitt,” he was trying not to laugh. mean ass.
“and then i went and laid on your chest, like.. i feel like a creep.”
jisung finally succeeded in bringing you back to him and wrapped his arms fully around you. he spoke, muffled, into the thickness of your curls,
“you’re not a creep. don’t be dumb.”
limply, you let your chin fall onto his chest.
“i just.. have a lot of thoughts right now. i’m not trying to be awkward.” his hands soothingly rubbed your back and you sighed. “swear.”
unfortunately,, you couldn’t find it in yourself not to interrupt this heartfelt moment. “wow, ji, you’re so.. boyfriend coded, sometimes.” it was now you going to rub his back. but he swiftly jolted away,
“what??!”
“i feel so cared for.” you gazed up at him playfully and his face scrunched up.
“you don’t have to be a boyfriend to care for someone, yknow. what does that even mean.”
jisung’s eyes darted all over the room. the door, the window; as if he was looking for escape routes. probably because if you looked directly into his eyes for long enough, you’d realise how into you he truly is.
you shrugged, “i don’t know. i caught a vibe. or something.”
“you caught a vibe?” the cringe was visible on his face, even in the dimly lit room.
“i was feeling something! i don’t know.”
all he could do was laugh in your face. and when the laughter died down. you remained staring at each other in the silence you left. for what seemed like forever, you stared. you wished you could hear what he was thinking, because the longer you settled in silence, the rosier his cheeks appeared in the dark. cross-legged and facing each other, you felt your bodies leaning.
strangely enough, you didn’t notice the seemingly magnetic pull between you until you felt jisung’s lips against yours.
your body didn’t allow you the time to question what was going on before you could card your fingers through his hair, while his big hands found their way to your waist, dragging upwards so his thumbs could rub at your bare skin.
no different from you, jisung had no idea how he had found himself to get so lucky. but what he did know, was what you taught him.
one of the hands from your waist moved to your jaw and tilted your head slightly. his tongue ran over the expanse of your bottom lip; a silent request that you allow him access. you granted his request and a soft moan rose out of him.
you had pulled away to try and tease him but his hand at the back of your neck pulled you back, just for him to peck your lips,
“you have to use your tongue,” his voice was barely above a whisper, “so that i can copy you.. and know that i’m doing it right…”
your eyelids fluttered at his words before he went it to kiss you once again. you brushed your tongue against his, eliciting another moan from him as his hands squeezed at your sides. you wrapped your arms around his neck and crawled into his lap.
“jisungie, i didn’t think you’d be this vocal. i guess i should have, but i just didn’t.” you breathed out.
jisung passed a weak attempt at laughing your comment off. but his body betrayed him, his hips stuttered upwards into you.
“mmph— shit, i’m sorry. sorry, y/n.” he braced his hand against your thigh, leaning back on the other one and you whined at the friction.
wordlessly, you rocked your hips down over his and he groaned into your neck. his breath was hard against your skin, making you shiver.
“please. keep doing that.” both his hands were now on your hips, “that feels so good.” he whimpered.
you hummed at him and harshly rolled your hips into his once again. you felt your eyes flutter closed and you wondered whether it was from the pleasure or due to the fact that you wanted nothing less than to become sentient at this moment and realise that.. this is kinda fuckin strange. who would have thought a kissing lesson would end up like this? huh.
his lips had since moved down to kiss at your neck, making you keen and throw your head back — a sight that almost knocked jisung clean out.
the fact that this time yesterday, he had never even kissed anyone, but now he had a girl on top of him was triggering some sort of system overload. not that he was some sort of sex pest that was overly well versed in masterbation, but he claimed to know how to hold his own, knew how to ‘prolong the experience.’
that being said, at this moment in time, he didn’t think he had ever felt this sensitive before. it was like he was back to square one. d1 virgin.
“ah— please, please..” jisung breathed into your neck as his hands subconsciously rose up to grope at your chest and he thrusted up into you, “y/n, you feel so good.”
you couldn’t help but laugh, “you’re not even in me yet..”
the indirect promise that, eventually, he would get to fuck you, made his eyes roll back with a groan. just the thought of getting to slide himself into your warmth made heat prickle at the back of his neck. he groaned internally in pure embarrassment over the effect you had on him. he was getting close.
your hand stroked at his face. as much as you were enjoying the show of him writhing and whining under you, you needed to feel his lips on yours again.
“jisung, please kiss me again.”
and he wanted to give you that so badly. he also so badly wanted to not cum in his pants. not that he had any choice in the matter anyway.
“i-i want to.”
your brows furrowed, “ji.. you can. it’s okay.”
jisung groaned loudly, “ughh, fuck, okay. okay, okay, come here.” no point fighting it now.
one of his big hands moved from your breasts and reached up to your neck as he pressed both your lips together in a feverish kiss. desperately whines rose out of the back of his throat with each swipe of his tongue over yours. you had started to grind your hips harder and he swore he was going to die right then.
“ouu, fuckk,” he moved his face back to your neck, “i’m so close, ma- mmph.”
“you’re getting close?”
“m-mommy— fuck, i’m gonna cum.”
your legs involuntarily squeezed around his hips. the more outwardly submissive he got, the more frantic your movements became. like some sort of fucked up chain reaction.
“don’t stop, don’t stop, mommy, please.”
jisung’s breath picked up and you started to breathe heavier when his hips stuttered upwards into yours. his moans became louder and more irregular as he wrapped his arms around your body.
“i’m c-cumming.” he sighed into your chest followed by a lewd string of high pitched moans. his breath was shallow against your bare chest before he dropped his body backwards onto the couch, catching his breath with heavy lidded eyes. you followed, flopping your torso down onto his heaving chest.
you poked his arm, making him twitch, “are you awake.”
“mhm.” ji scrunched his eyes closed. he wished he wasn’t.
“did you call me ‘mommy’ just now?”
“mm.. no.”
your brows knit together, “huh, okay.”
his chest rose and fell in deep breaths under your head.
“park jisung, we have so much to talk about.”
he brought up a hand to massage his temple, “uh huh.” and it settled in that the trajectory of your friendship might just have been changed forever. oh well!
“and you didn’t make me finish, so the pussy eating lesson is next. mkay?”
𝒷oyfie!han's new lizard might be the death of you (◞‸ ◟)
💭 :: 1O15 fluff established relationship
"close your eyes. no peeking, i mean it," jisung whispered, his hands gently guiding you by the shoulders into his dorm room.
you laughed, letting him lead you forward. "jisung, if i trip over one of minho's random shoes on the floor, i'm hitting you."
"you won't trip, i got you. okay, stop right here," he said, his voice buzzing with that pure, chaotic excitement he got whenever he bought a new piece of music gear or found a really good lyrics notebook. "ready? three, two, one... open!"
you blinked your eyes open, expecting maybe a giant plushie, a rare vinyl, or even a ridiculously oversized hoodie.
instead, you were looking directly into two tiny, unblinking bug eyes.
about two inches from your nose, sitting right on jisung’s open palm, was a small, tan, slightly bumpy creature. it had tiny webbed toes, a wide, flat head, and a little row of spikes that looked like eyelashes above its eyes. it just stared at you, completely still, occasionally licking its own eyeball with a pink tongue.
you froze. every muscle in your body went completely rigid.
"surprise!" jisung beamed, his face practically glowing with pride. "isn't she beautiful?"
"oh," you squeaked. your brain was screaming at you to run out the door, down the hall, and entirely out of the building, but your feet were glued to the carpet. "that's... so... cute."
it was not cute. it was a reptile. you hated reptiles. lizards, snakes, frogs—anything cold-blooded and scaly made your skin crawl. you were absolutely terrified of them.
"i knew you'd love her," jisung said, completely missing the sheer panic in your voice because he was too busy admiring the little thing. "she's a crested gecko. look at her little eyelashes! she doesn't even have eyelids, she just licks her eyes to clean them. watch, maybe she'll do it again."
"fascinating," you muttered, slowly taking half a step back to put some much-needed distance between your face and the lizard. "where did you... why do you have this, sungie?"
"well, i went out with changbin hyung yesterday, and we passed this pet store. i saw her in the window and just felt this instant connection, you know? like, she looked as stressed as i do when i'm trying to write a bridge," he explained, holding her up a little higher. "so i bought the whole setup. she's a girl."
"a girl," you repeated, trying to keep your voice level. "nice. does she have a name?"
"yeah! changbin hyung named her richard."
you blinked. "richard. for a girl gecko."
"yeah, he said she looked like a richard. i didn't want to argue with him, he was really passionate about it," jisung shrugged, looking down at richard with pure affection. "here, you want to hold her? she's super soft, i promise. she feels like a little piece of velvet."
he started to move his hand closer to yours, and panic shot through you.
"no! no, that's okay!" you said a little too quickly, putting your hands behind your back. "i don't want to... disrupt her. she's transitioning into a new environment. she needs her space, jisung. structural stability."
jisung paused, finally looking up from the lizard to scan your face. he noticed the way your eyes were wide, your shoulders were hitched up to your ears, and how you were practically leaning your entire weight away from him.
a slow, amused grin spread across his face. "wait. are you scared of her?"
"i'm not scared," you lied, keeping your eyes glued to richard, who chose that exact moment to do a tiny, uncoordinated head-tilt. "i just have a healthy respect for prehistoric creatures."
"she's harmless, baby. she doesn't even have teeth, she eats fruit puree," jisung teased, taking a step closer to you.
"jisung, i swear to god, if you bring richard any closer to me, our relationship is on pause," you warned, pointing a finger at him from behind your back.
he let out a loud, dramatic laugh, his shoulders shaking. "oh my god, you're terrified. i had no idea. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i won't make you hold her."
he carefully walked over to the desk, where a brand new glass terrarium was sitting under a warm light, filled with fake plants and little branches. he gently let richard crawl off his hand onto a large green leaf. as soon as she was safe inside the glass, you finally let out a massive breath you didn't realize you were holding, your shoulders dropping.
jisung closed the screen lid of the tank, turned around, and immediately walked over to wrap his arms around your waist. he was still giggling, burying his face in your shoulder.
"you're awful," you mumbled, though you couldn't help but wrap your arms around his neck, finally feeling safe now that the tiny dinosaur was behind glass.
"i'm not awful, i'm a proud pet dad," he mumbled into your skin, kissing your shoulder. "but really, are you okay? i didn't mean to freak you out. if you really hate her, i can keep the tank strictly on my side of the dorm and cover it when you come over."
you looked past his shoulder at the tank. richard was currently hanging upside down from a plastic vine, looking incredibly goofy and not at all threatening now that she was contained.
you sighed, running a hand through jisung's messy hair. "no, no, it's fine. she can stay. she's actually kind of funny looking. i mean... i'll get used to her."
"she gets her looks from me," jisung joked, pulling back to look at you with a grin. "so... you'll help me feed her? she eats stuff that looks like baby food."
"absolutely not," you said instantly. "that is a hundred percent a dad job. i am strictly the cool aunt who visits and stays on the other side of the room."
"fair enough," jisung laughed, leaning down to press a quick, sweet kiss to your lips. "come on, let's go get some food. richard needs her rest anyway. she's had a big day terrifying my girlfriend."