Forever Be My Always
 Y/Nâs P.O.VÂ
I sat on the floor of my room leaning against the door with a note book in my hand as a paper came under the door. A wide grin spread across my face as I picked it up and unfolded it carefully.
Everyday a boy would leave me sweet admirer notes about his feelings for me but he was so shy he wouldnât let me see him or even know who he was even though I really hoped he did cause little did he know that I have fallen in love with him too. I was in truly, madly, deeply in love with my mystery boy.Â
Good morning, my darling angel. I hope you slept well. I know I canât see you but I bet you look gorgeous, as you always do.
You truly are my reason for looking forward to everything. My next day, my next day off, my meals, breaksâŠeverything!! I am so much in love with you. I donât know what Iâd do without you in my life.
I held his letter close to my heart for a few minutes letting my spinning thoughts calm down a little before taking a paper out of my book and writing my letter.
There are over million words but for some reason none of them can describe the way you make me feel. You never fail to amaze me.Â
To the world you might just be one person but to me you are the world.Â
I pushed the note through the gap in the bottom of the door and got up to get ready to go to work and see the runners off.Â
I am a runner too, but for the last couple of weeks I have been experiencing terrible nightmares. Minho had to drag me out of the maze couple of days ago as I passed out due to my lack of sleep so Alby said it might be better for me to work in the gardens for a while.
I placed the letter he gave me in a box when I saw another note slipped in. Â
You just made my day, beautiful. Like you always do. Everyday single day.
I wish I could explain your eyes, and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. How your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time Iâm with you, I feel so complete.Â
Newtâs P.O.V
I stood in the kitchen talking with Minho who was gobbling up his breakfast in a hurry when I saw Y/N come into the kitchen, her lips curled into a dreamy smile.
I took a moment to glance at her from afar before quickly bending my head pretending as if I was eating. For some reason I felt too shy to even look up at her. [Y/N] looked so beautiful, I just couldnât make myself to look.
I was so in love with her. So much that I find myself stunned by her, that I canât even talk to her. I trip and stutter and become a flustered mess whenever she is around.
The entirety of my relationship with Y/N was sweet glances and soft touches. But for me, even the gentlest graze of her hand on mine was annihilating.
From the moment I met her, I felt such a deep connection to her. There was something so sweet and deep in her soul that I fell in love with. I felt like I have always been waiting for her. Like I always knew her.Â
I could have fallen in love with her with my eyes closed.
She walked over to the table and greeted Minho who mumbled something in response with a mouthful. Then she stood next to me making my heart try to jump out of my chest. I bit my lip and fiddled nervously with my fingers.
âHi.â She smiled, finally triggering to look up into her beautiful pair of eyes.
âHelloâ I whispered, feeling my cheeks burning.
âAm I going to be working with you today ?â she asked sweetly, with her angelical voice that got me swooning over her.
âYeâyeahâ I stammered. âAlby said itâs better you take a week off from running and help out in the gardensâ I rambled at lightening speed.
Y/N let out a small chuckle âNewt, could you please repeat that a bit slower? I didnât quite catch itâ. âO-ohâŠâ I couldnât seem to form any words anymore, her eyes were electrifying me. Captivating me in a way I couldnât explain.Â
âWeek. off. from. running. Gardens. might. clear. your. mindâ Minho stepped in thankfully. âMin not that slowâ she giggled âBut thanksâ.
âNo problem she-beanâ he laughed wiping his mouth and standing up ready to go. âWhy are you up so early anyways ?â
âCouldnât sleepâ she mumbled softly. âThought Newt could also use an early helping handâ.Â
âOhhhh yes he couldâ Minho smirked in my direction and I said a death glare for him to zip it. âWell I shall leave you two to your workâ he winked standing up.Â
âBe careful Minâ Y/N patted his shoulder sadly. "Donât worry she-bean. Gonna come back to ya" he hugged her tightly.Â
Y/N was like a little sister to Minho, and they have also always been running partners. This was the first time she wasnât running with him and I could only imagine how scared she was knowing the horrors of the maze just as much as I do. I was terrified about Minho too even though I didnât show it. I had to stay strong for Y/N. Even though when I heard Y/N was to be a runner for the first time I chased Minho around the Glade like a Griever and Alby locked me up in the slammer until Minho swore to me he would bring her back safely everyday.
âDonât die of boredom in the gardens while I am gone alright ?â Minho laughed trying to lighten the mood. âI wonâtâ she giggled âIâve got Newtâ.
After the runners set off, me and Y/N started slowly walking towards the gardens. She would often smile at me while we walked, what got my heart missing a pulse or two.Â
I led her to the part of the gardens where we will be working today, it was more secluded than the rest and I also made sure less gardeners were assigned here so Y/N could work in peace and hopefully clear her mind too.
It was a beautiful day. Since it was quite early, me and Y/N were the only ones up and working, digging holes and tying vines and other Track-hoe stuff.Â
Watching Y/N was breath-taking, even the mildest of her movement puts me in a whirlpool of thoughts.Â
She intoxicated me. It was just as though she were making me love her by some invisible force.Â
I couldnât focus on anything else anymore - my surroundings vanished, evaporating. It was just me and her.Â
My eyes would look at her from the corners, as if I didnât want her to catch me staring at her. But she did and smiled sweetly back at me every time, making a full-blown smile appear on my face.Â
Whenever she smiles, I smile. I just canât help myself. And how can I ? When she is every bit of my happiness. She always will be, no matter what we become or even what we are right now. No matter how distant we become. She will always be my happiness. My one and only love.Â
I wanted Y/N. Just simply her. All her flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want her. I want to love her, each and every piece. I want her imperfections as much as I want her for her. Iâm always going to want her, Iâm always going to be here loving her with everything.Â
â-
The boys took a break and headed for lunch but me and Y/N were still here. I had to do my daily check-up rounds after lunch so I had to finish my work in the gardens before so Y/N offered to stay back and finish off her work completely too which got us some more time alone.Â
We worked with lots of smiles and giggles which cheered me up so much. It made my heart warm and butterflies tickle the walls of my stomach. My armour, that I wear to get through every day, fell off.
âAll doneâ Y/N dusted her hands together and picked up the last of the tools on the floor. âThatâs bloody great Y/Nâ I exclaimed happily. It was her first day yet she caught on quite quick and even finished before me. I was so proud of her I just wanted to hug her but as usual being the scared, red-faced, rambling shank I am, I did not.
âY-Y-You can go-go ahead for lunch. Iâll catch upâ I gestured to the boys gathering up in the kitchen. âIâll wait for youâ she smiled taking a seat cross-legged on the floor âdo you want any help ?â. I shook my head with a big goofy smile plastered on my face.Â
The way I love her is relentless. It breaks my concentration when Iâm busy and drifts my mind away to thoughts of her when Iâm in the middle of conversations.
And that is exactly what happened. I was so caught up in her sitting there and pulling out the grass that I absent-mindedly tied my finger to the vine pole instead. Real tight.
I mumbled and grumbled under my breath trying to pull away but it wasnât working. "Newt are you alright ?â Y/Nâs voice startled me making me yelp and jump. âOh I-I-I-tiedâtied myââ I cleared my throat, my cheeks burning brightly, causing them to redden even more than it already was.
"Here, let me help you out.â Y/N chuckled touching my hand tenderly, sending a million shivers down my spine. She was standing so close to me it was taking everything in my will not to touch her and kiss her, something Iâve spent sleepless nights and daydreams thinking about. And right now, I could feel myself unintentionally leaning in closer.Â
"Newt I need your helpâwhat are you doing ?â Alby stood behind us with a big smirk on his face making me pull back quickly. âMy hand is stuckâ I said immediately, before he could make an embarrassing comment. âHow did that happen ?â he smirked even more coming to stand beside me.
âBugger off Albyâ I shooed him away with my free hand. âYour sure lucky everybody is at lunch. You look like your about to pee your pantsâ he whispered smugly to my ear.
âWhat do you want ?â I tried to ask firmly but it clearly wasnât working as I couldnât even hold down my smile for a mere second which made Alby burst with laughter. âI have some important work for you to do. Nowâ.
âBut Iâm not done hereâ I complained. âIâll finish it upâ Y/N piped in still struggling to untie the rope âYou go onâ.
"No no no, Y/N, I donât want you doing this aloneâ I argued but after lots and lots of protesting Y/N finally made me agree. "But please eat first" I begged. She smiled warmly and nodded âI willâ.Â
âY/N please eat. He will come back to check in a few seconds. He might even feed you if you havenât eatenâ Alby shouted while walking away, knowing my extremely overprotective nature over her.
She giggled as I tried to kick him away this time but I regretted it immediately because all my weight fell on my bad leg making me lose balance when the rope came out. And while tumbling over I grabbed Y/N and we both fell onto the floor with a loud thump.
I groaned and opened my eyes to see Y/N laid half on top of me, her cheeks crimson red as mine. A shy smile rested on her lips, as she gently brushed away strands of hair backwards to wipe it out of my face. âAre you ok?â.
I nodded and nervously moved my arms to wrap it around her, shivering like crazy. Y/N giggled shyly when she understood what was happening. She slowly moved closer and cuddled up to me, which made me all fuzzy and warm inside. I tightened my grip pulling her closer than possible and nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck.Â
The smell of her hair was more pleasant than the scent of a thousand roses, I dream to plunge into its warmth and to spend eternity in her arms.
âNewtieâ Y/N giggled, âIâm sweaty and muddyâ. I hummed and pulled her closer in response to which she lifted her head shyly and looked down again, which was one of the most adorable things Iâve ever seen in life.Â
I always find something else to love about her every single day. The way she smiles, her cute sneeze, even the way she blinks. I could watch her for a single minute and find a million things to love about her. Â
Loving her is like breathing. I just canât stop.Â
Y/Nâs P.O.V
I finished my lunch and made my way back to the gardens ready to finish off the last of my work. Or Newtâs. I grabbed a rope and walked over to the vine poles, to see a beautiful flower with a note attached to it. My heart fluttered in adoration, as I quickly untangled and unfolded it.
If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.
I grinned by myself and looked around and around to see if anyone was there, but as usual, no one.
Time skip to evening
âHey she-beanâ I turned around to see an exhausted Minho behind me. âOne day in the gardens, you look bored out of your mind â.
âI am not shankâ I laughed, walking into his open arms for a bear hug âHad a good day. Almost done. Meet you at dinner?â .
âSure thing she-beanâ he lifted me up a little making me squeal. âAnd where is Newt?â he asked looking around confusingly. âOh Alby had some important work for him so I offered to help him out hereâ I smiled. Â "Oh..Iâve gotta talk to him. Iâll catch you later alright ?â he asked to which I gave him a thumbs-up.
I finished off my work and went back to my room to get a change of clothes for a shower to see yet another note slip under my door. I wiped my dirty hands on my pants and unfolded the note, my heart beating rapidly in my chest.Â
I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how good you look when you smile; how much I love your laugh. I day dream about you off and on, replaying our conversations; laughing at funny things you said or did. Iâve memorised your face and the way you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagined. I wonder what will happen the next time weâre together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure, you are the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I sighed happily, my heart swelling with every beat. I loved the way he touched me without using his hands. My goofy smile couldnât be held down as I grabbed a piece of paper hurriedly and sat down to write my letter.Â
You are the sweetest guy Iâve ever known in my life. Even if you are tired from work, you always make time for me. Not a day goes by that you failed on making me smile. I just want you to know how very much I care and that you are always in my thoughts and in my heart.Â
I wondered who could this possibly have been ? I have been working in the gardens all day, with Newt and a couple of others but with Newt all day with Alby there was no way he was going to be free until tonight and the other Track-Hoes talked a bit, but often, those boys were in a hurry; doing this job, that job, doing the lifting, and everything.
I slipped the note under the door and heard shuffling of feet going way, once again leaving me to hold him in my heart while I wait for the day I can hold him in my arms.
Minhoâs P.O.V
I was exhausted from running all day, but yet my excitement to hear about how it went with Newt was much greater so I ran like crazy to Newtâs room and busted in making him yelp and fall off his chair scattering papers everywhere.
"Minho!!â he yelled when he saw it was me âwhat the bloody hell?!â. I extended my hand to help him up âSorryâ.Â
"Soooo how did it go?â I asked dying to hear about it and laugh quite a lot too. He didnât answer. He just continued picking the papers with red face and a huge dreamy smile stuck on his face.
âNewt spill the beans!!â I shook him repeatedly making him drop the pile off his hands again. He faced me and for the first time in my life I saw something in Newtâs eyes I have never seen before. Pure happiness.Â
âMinhoâŠâ he murmured softly and looked at me with his eyes filled with tears âI love her so much. More than I can bloody ever sayâ. I smiled widely and gestured him to continue. I wanted to know more. Or everything. Newt was extremely shy when it comes to start talking about Y/N, but once he does, there is no stopping him. Conversations about Y/N with him are infinite.Â
âWhen Iâm with her, I am different. In a good way" he said starting to walk around the room with me following him right behind so I wouldnât miss a single word. "I smile more. I donât have to pretend everything is ok. With her I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. I donât feel sad or hurt or aloneâ.
With my legs already wobbly from running, I pushed him to sit on the bed then I plopped on it and shushed him so I could catch my breath for a minute. âAlright go onâ.Â
âMinho, I canâtâI donât even know.. â he exclaimed throwing his hands in the air. âSheâs healing me..â he sniffled âIâve never been at peace with my self but with herâŠI feel safe. I love her Minho. I love her so bloody muchââ.
"Then tell herâ I patted his shoulder firmly cutting him off. âI canâtâ he sobbed and it broke my heart to see him like this. âThen write it in a letterâ I said grabbing his notepad and hitting him on the head with it. He was too sad even to hit me back. âYouâve been writing to her everyday. For a yearâ I handed him a pen. âBut what if she doesnât like me ?â he mumbled and a tear trickled over his cheek. I frowned and wiped it away.
âNewt I swear to god, that girl will love you in any shape with any pastâ I looked directly into his eye to make sure he believes me. âI know you have good looks even though it ainât incredibly good as mineâ I smirked teasingly and he rolled his eyes with a small smile. âBut I can surely tell you that the she-beanâs got a kind heart. She will love you for who you are. Iâve read all the lettersâ.
âYou read my letters ?!â he exclaimed. âBig picture here Newtâ I changed the subject quickly. âJust think about itâ. He let out a loud sigh and nodded.
âBut when you do tell her, could you please tell me, I want to watchâ I laughed making him laugh a little too. âNow letâs go for diner. Iâm starving. And I will take a shower laterâ I said when he lifted his forefinger ready to say âYou stink. Take a shower nowâ.Â
"Oh and I also gave her a hugâ he jumped happily like a little child while leaving the room. âOh thatâs greatâ IÂ Iaughed and ruffled his hair âplease tell me you didnât squeeze the life out of herâ.
Newtâs P.O.V
I was up all night writing Y/N a letter, trying to tell her all my feelings but it was next to impossible to do that. It was so hard for me to put into words because I could feel it in an unexplainable way. Â Â
I could feel the love that filled my entire body. It made my toes curl and the kind of love that circulates through my veins. I could feel myself blush from having all types of emotions running rampant against my skin. The kind of love that makes me want to scream all my worries and fears out so they have no way of finding their way back in. A kind that takes my breath away just by the simplest thought of her. My darling Y/N.Â
My mind was drowning with possibilities of us all night that I overslept, way past the time I was supposed to wake up and give my letter to Y/N before she left the room to see the runners off.
I jumped out of bed and scrambled my table for the correct letter I finally wrote the entire night. I picked it up and carefully placed it in my pocket and sneaked out into the hallway which was thankfully empty. It was still dawn so no one else was up and all the runners must be crowded in the kitchen.Â
I quickly sneaked near Y/Nâs room but her door was left wide open. I looked around many times before I went inside and placed the letter on her bed and turned around to leave which was the instant she came into the room. I got so freaked out, my heart jumped and my stomach bursted from the butterflies and I crumpled the paper and put it in my mouth.
âHey Newtâ Y/N said curiously, walking in and shutting the door âWhatâare you doing here ?â. I should have run but instead being the proper shank I am, I opened my mouth to answer. No words came out and she saw the paper. It took a moment, and her eyes widened, her mouth hung open, and she froze.
âNewtâ she said in a whisper slowly stepping forward âSpit it outâ. I shook my head and moved back. âNewt please thatâs my letterâ she whimpered âSpit it out. Pleaseâ. I shook my head again and broke into a run around the room with Y/N right behind me. And holy shuck she was fast. "Newt!!â Y/N screamed and tackled me to the ground before I even reached the door. âOUT!OUT!OUT!â she shook me repeatedly until I choked it to the floor.
She quickly grabbed the note from the tip of the paper regardless that it was covered in my saliva. She slowly unfolded it and sat on the floor completely curled into a small ball leaning onto the wall. I quietly sat myself next to her as she started reading it.
My darling,
I am yours.
With every inch of flesh and bone in my body; and every ounce of love instilled in me, I belong to you.
With every subtle thought that slips through my mind, and every void space in my empty soul, I belong to you.
My heart is yours; yours to keep, yours to love, yours to hold.
Because I am yours and only yours.
âLast part is missingâ she sniffled, breaking my heart into a million pieces. I seem to have eaten the end of my letter while panicking. Taking a deep breath, I scooted closer before I spoke my next words. âEven if Iâm not yours. You will always be mine. My one and onlyâ I whispered and watched her beautiful pair of eyes, full of tears, lock with mine. âYou read it ?â.
âNo,â I whispered and looked away back down at my sweaty fingers. I felt like I was about to pass out before I got the next few words out of my mouth. â I wrote itâ.Â
A long, uncomfortable silence filled the room, which became thicker and thicker till the point it made me too afraid to even breathe. I sat curled up into a ball, with my knees against my chest, trying to hold back the tears threatening to stream down my face.Â
I felt Y/N slowly shuffle closer to me. She kept her small hands on my knees and pushed them open, placing her body between them and cuddled into my chest pressing a kiss right to the place where my heart is located.
A wave of warmth consumed me completely numbing my senses before I wrapped my arms around her body, burying myself deeper into her arms, letting the warm tears trickle down my face.Â
For a good ten minutes we stayed in silence. The feeling of being curled up in her arms with our fingers interwined and the soft feel of her breath on my neck can never be put to words. I can however, definitely say, that it is where I belong and it is these arms that I feel at home.
I gently ran my hand over her skin, feeling the shape of her bones, it was comforting to know that she was right under my fingertips. All I wanted to do was kiss every inch of her, each and every part she keeps hidden away and wrap her in a blanket and tell sheâd be safe forever.Â
Y/N stirred a little after a moment and slowly lifted her face off my chest with a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. Our faces were so close I could feel my blood burning inside me. I bought my trembling hands to her face and wiped all her tears with the gentlest movements.Â
Y/N leaned into my touch, nuzzling her cheek into my hand but her eyes were scanning all over the room like she was searching for something. She then moved away from me a little and grabbed a piece of paper lying on the floor along with a pen which must have fallen during the chase.Â
I watched her while she bit her pink lips and wrote something and then handed it to me with a soft kiss on my hand which made a warm feeling spread through my heart. I slowly unfolded the note, shaking like a leaf.Â
I love you too Newtie. Iâm always going to love you. Iâm going to love you in your weakest moments to your strongest ones. Iâm going to love you when youâre happy and Iâm going to still love you the most when youâre sad. Iâm always going to be here loving you. For I am yours. Only yours. My darling, always.
My breath hitched in my throat, preventing me from breathing for just a few seconds to let her words sink in. Was I asleep or awake, or somewhere in between? I canât believe what she just said to me. I was in shock and awe.
I folded the note and placed it in my pocket and slowly lifted my face. As soon as our eyes met, she smiled, her eyes sparkling brighter than the sun, the moon and the stars. I was going blind.
âI love you so bloody much too Y/Nâ I whispered, and laced our hands, brushing my fingers over hers. âI love you. Nothing and nobody. Not even time can change that. My heart is, and always will be yours. In a thousand lifetimes, in a hundred ways, you will forever be my alwaysâ I breathed, looking deep into her eyes making sure she understood every word I meant. âFor I am yours, only yours, my loveâ.Â
[Y/N] smiled and looked down while blushing and I couldnât hold myself anymore. I wanted her. I wanted us. I want it all. With her. Only her. My Y/N.Â
I lifted up her head by lifting her chin up with two fingers and slowly inched forward,my breath brushing over her cheek and lips making her adorably shy. I cupped her face with both my hands and pressed my lips gently on hers and let my own eyelids flutter close. Â
Kissing her felt like everything Iâve been dreaming. Tingles began to spread through my body, the fire inside me brightened, flames tickling everywhere making me lose myself completely.Â
After a few minutes of kissing silently and affectionately, slowly and very softly did I part from her, letting our lips disconnect.
The instant I drew back from her lips and looked into her perfect eyes I knew I would follow her to the ends of the earth.
Y/Nâs P.O.V
I got up in the morning to be on my bed, tucked in nice and well. I rolled over to find a note on the corner of my pillow along with a pretty flower tied to it. I grinned foolishly by myself as I sat up and opened it.
I could watch a million sunrises and still never see one quite as beautiful as your eyes slowly opening in the morning.
Meet me at the clearing in the woods, sweetheart. Got a little suprise for you.
Love, your-not-so-secret-admirer-anymore
I squealed in excitement as I ran for a shower and put on some fresh clothes and raced to the woods. As soon as I reached the clearing I looked around to catch another letter pinned to a tree.
I took it out and unfolded it, my thoughts spinning wilding in my head.Â
Iâm in love with you and your entire being.
Your hands and the way they fit in mine.
Your eyes and the way they smile at mine.
Your lips and the way they fit with mine.
Everything about you.
And itâs all mine.
I giggled to myself with flushed cheeks when a muffled groan was heard behind me. I turned around to see Newt holding two plates of breakfast on either hand and a bunch of flowers in his mouth. I giggled and walked over to him, taking the bunch of flowers and kissed his cheek âAre they for me?â. All he did was gawk and nod with a red face. âThank youâ I pressed a kiss on his nose and then nuzzled it with my own, making him break into a toothy grin.
Newt walked a little and crouched placing the plates on the floor and then smiled back at me and his face lit up the sun. I took a flower out of the bunch and tucked it behind his ear âYou look beautifulâ I teased and he chuckled, blushing even more. âNothing is beautiful as youâ he said shyly, causing me to look down while blushing, my cheeks burning up.Â
I felt my face being lifted by his big, tender hands and a kiss being placed on my lips, ever so gently. Fire lived within his kiss, he had a way of melting every part of me. My hands collared around his neck and his wrapped around my waist pulling me closer than possible.Â
Once we pulled apart, we rested our foreheads together, and I looked into his beautiful big brown orbs filled with love. Pure love. But I could still feel his body trembling in mine. âAre you cold?â I asked confused. He shook his head. âWhy are you shivering ?â I asked softly, kissing his forehead.Â
âIâm scaredâ he confessed silently. âI-Iâ donât want to mess up. I want everything to be perfect for youâ he held my hands and kissed my knuckles lovingly âMy princessâ .
âOh Newtâ I cooed and cupped his face with both my hands and left a few kisses all over his face âyou donât have to be. No matter what happens, everything is always perfect with you by side. My darling, thatâs all I needâ.
âI will always be by your sideâ he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek soundly, nuzzling his nose to the crook of my neck âAlways my loveâ.Â
âNow what did you have planned for today ?â I asked, lacing our fingers and pulling him under a big shady tree. Slowly his confidence kicked in as he started to walk along with me.
âI want to talk about anything and everything. I want to know about your dreams and every little silly wish you think it can never be real.I want all the details that you donât even get to notice about your day. You can go on and on for hours, I donât mindâ he smiled widely as we sat down.Â
I leant against the tree and he cuddled into me, making himself comfortable. Wrapping my arms protectively around him, I pulled him closer until there was no space left between our bodies. He melted into me, completely at ease.Â
I never asked to fall in love, but he took my heart and gave me his. Something I didnât expect. Now I canât think of my life without him in it.Â



















