professional loser

Hi, I'm Mikey, and I'm a doodling lameass.

[hornyish]

PUT HER WITH KAITLIN BENNET ASHSHDJDHFKFLGG

[gambolling]

“Youve brought hateration and holleration to this dancery and thus have failed the vibe check.”

[starkwillendurestone]

this is the funniest thing.

[madistarlight]

This deserved a transcription so here you go @redemptiionss​:

Karen: [Loud exhasperated gasp] Where am I??

Vibe Leader, with pomp: You have been summoned to the House of ViiiiBES for your Vibe Check. State your name.

Karen: Karen???

Vibe 2: And is it true, Karen, that you’ve been buying all the toilet paper at Costco for the past 3 weeks?

Karen, bluntly: It i s.

Vibe 3: BLEGHHHGHHHHHGHH

Vibe 4, frantic: It has no regard for anyone but ITSELF!!

Vibe 5: It is selfish!

Vibe 2: And selfish is not a vibe.

Vibe Leader: NOT A VIBE!

Karen: I am a vibe, thank you very much. You guys are just jealous ‘cause you’re immigrants!

Vibe 3: BLEJHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHH

Vibe 2: Apparently, it’s also racist!

Vibe 5: Racism is nev’r a vibe!

Vibe Leader: NEV’R A VIBE!

Karen: Look, I’m just trying to be prepared for the coronavirus.

Vibe 6: So are other people, darling.

Vibe 5: Plus, you bought all the hand sanitizer!

Vibe 4: What if someone gets coronavirus because of t h a t.

Karen, matter-of-factly: I’ll cure them with my essential oils.

Vibe 3: BBJGKDLSKERRRREHGHHHH

Vibe 6, hopelessly: It’s SO IGNORANT!

Karen: That’s it! I want to speak to your manager!

Vibe 2: There are no managers here, darling,

Vibe 5: Only VIBES.

Vibe 2: And you, Madame-

Vibe 7: -Are not brrringing them.

Karen: [perplexed and insulted] Agh!

Vibe Leader: Karen! You have brought hateration and holleration to this dancery and thus have f a i l e d the vibe check!

Karen: NOO!

Vibe Leader, darkly: Put her with Kaitlen Bennet.

Karen: [Loud, helpless screeching from the depths of her soulless being]

[starrypawz]

This footage of Elmo after messing up a take on Sesame Street is peak relatable

[sleepy-shark]

In Elmo’s voice: “I only had three lines!”

[mydesignispeople]

Okay but please watch the whole video. It’s just over a minute.

1. Robin Williams making off-the-cuff jokes that are definitely not Sesame Street appropriate.

2. The slow zoom in on Elmo’s face at the end.

3. Robin Williams

[kodaksnacks-blog]

[997]

and she picked just the right song

[saltcircle5558355298234432204-d]

whhat the f

[mentethemage-deactivated2018122]

today I learned you could figure skate on roller blades

[angelicdevil]

This kid is KILLING it!

[babyanimalgifs]

Play time 

(via)

[whitepeopletwitter]

[bgm05]

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

Looked this up for answers and only found more questions

[c-rowlesblogs]

I tried to do more research and now I, too, only have even more questions.

[justcatposts]

“My cat Blackberry has done this before but my friends told me it was really impressive and I should share..” 

(Source)

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

[jaubaius]

Creative & DIY

[femur-theif]

SO THAT’S HOW THEY FUCKING DO IT

[wern]

our spanish teacher was making us describe pictures of lots of weird objects in class and she put this pic on the slide

a girl wrote "es para mike wazowski" and the chat went insane

[transenbyhollis]

thats a super interesting way to learn language because it requires using the vocabulary you know but manipulating it to convey something you wouldnt typically say. so you have to take what you know and the rules that you use but you explicitly cannot mimic what you would find in a textbook because a textbook would never have super fucked up eyeglasses that are not functional for practical use

[joey-wheeler-official]

Swords are bougie garbage, spears and axes are the weapons of the honest working man

[taiga-fujimura-official]

IMAGINE GETTING KILLED BY WILD ANIMALS BECAUSE YOU FAILED TO DISTANCE YOURSELF

THIS POST MADE BY POLEARM GANG

[unadulteratedpiratepizza]

I have a Sword and a Spear, because my family makes pottery and aren’t low class farmers like yours

[biggerb0at]

Lmao this dude doesnt even have an axe.

[unadulteratedpiratepizza]

I mean, we’re potters, not glass blowers. Look at this fucker talking about owning three weapons

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

Halberd gang rise up. It’s like a spear AND an axe.

[tardigradetheking]

yeah well lets see you split wood with it

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

Can’t hear you from all the way over there! I’ve got my halberd between us! Poke poke.

[tardigradetheking]

hey hey

bitch

[scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat]

YEAH WELL LET’S SEE YOU SPLIT WOOD WITH IT

[meckamecha]

The fuck’s all this bougie shit about? Who the fuck has money for metal weapons in this economy?

[nico-robin-official]

elitist jackass talking abt ‘crafted weapons’ just pick up a rock you fucking snob

[browneyedophanim-deactivated202]

This may be an unpopular opinion

but a person who does their best to respect me despite not understanding or knowing every single lgbt label and title is always going to be higher on my list that a person who knows every single one, acts like a sanctimonious prick, and treats everyone like garbage.

[icantwritegood]

the best thing in the entire goddamn world is the fact that human beings have hands perfectly capable of giving amazing scritches and there are hundreds of animals out there who just love being scritched

[icantwritegood]

like this is it . this is what it’s all about

[rainywashday]

My pets keep me for because of my opposable thumbs.

[awed-frog]

“Many of you are writing about race, racism and white supremacy right now. Please use this chart to correctly identify Black Americans. Accuracy in how we identify folks is paramount always but especially right now.”

[okamiwolven]

I spent like about a minute checking to see if there was a reblog button anywhere because I though for sure this was a joke but it’s not it’s not a joke

[gothammite]

he……….. really means business

[ive-moved-accounts289045806805]

Round 4

[shitpolsays]

[powerburial]

im going to cry

[direlog]

[aurorabearalis]

One of my all time favorite posts tbh

[hotvampireadjacent]

we never should have laughed

[cctinsleybaxter]

There’s not a single criticism of Monsters Vs Aliens that would interest me- you think I don’t KNOW that it’s bad to look at and makes 0 sense? That too many of the jokes are driven by outdated pop culture references?

This is a movie where a woman learns to love herself and realize her own potential, and where a gay cockroach man voiced by hugh laurie has to beat dance dance revolution to blow up a spaceship. These scenes occur within 5 minutes of each other; this movie invented cinema.