Goodness

empathy, mental health, inspiration to deal with life

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It is a great honor to be selected as a guest blogger at The Raging Empath. I decided to share my experience so far as an almost 1-month “tweeter” – if that is what it is called.

When I started blogging three years ago, I had decided against using social media – which I now understand, is a FATAL error – for obvious reasons.

With time, and my master’s degree in Marketing Communications (being redirected to the blogging path I guess), I have learned how vital social media is for gaining an audience, sharing and boosting your site – because that’s where people are! People who read, people who criticize, who relate to you -or not. These people are interested to read, help, support, and, fear of criticism and insecurity is only going to limit your blogging growth.

I recently started using Twitter to boost my blog. Twitter has many ups and downs, it can be a maze of new experiences at every turn, it’s all new to me. Being a Facebook and Instagram user does help with some of the terminologies, but when it comes to personally experiencing the platform, all it takes is just getting used to it and a bit of time.

As a newbie on the social media platform Twitter, here are is what I have experienced:

1- Gaining Followers

Gaining followers isn’t as hard as it sounds – you follow a person, and they follow you back – or hope they follow you back. Tweeting among the blogging audience, with empathetic bloggers who have “been there”, I have noticed they do follow back. There are a few who don’t necessarily have the mutual sentiments of following back, nevertheless, all it takes is for you to ask for help, isn’t it? I have found the blogging community really supportive – you ask for a retweet, an advice, tag them in it (especially the retweeting accounts) – just name it, and you will get help. It may take time, so being patient would be a strong suit.

2- Losing Followers

If gaining followers wasn’t an issue, losing them is worse. It sucks, makes you wonder what you did wrong, whether blogging really is all worth it, whether you were not worthy enough for a follower – it really hits the self-esteem. For now, I have less audience, so it does hit hard. But I hope it gets better with time.

A trick I learned is to follow people with a high number of “following” instead of “followers”. I am putting it out here because it can be a mental struggle for some (people like me, I guess) – I do like surrounding myself in a comfort zone with trustworthy people. It’s not a solution, but my experience with it has been 95% accurate.

3- Keeping Up with the Features

Twitter as an international social media platform has SO MANY FEATURES. And if you are a newbie, you must dedicate a good amount of time understanding the many different features, maybe consider hiring a millennial (probably one of your younger relatives) to teach you the different options. Tweeting, uploading a picture, the word limit on the “bio”, follow/unfollow section, (what are moments??) – it all can be extremely overwhelming, especially with tweet updates almost every second on the “homepage” by people you are following. It’s tough, but you’ll learn with time and experience only.

4- Sharing Thoughts

Twitter is a great site to share blog posts and our little thoughts. It doesn’t limit you to be all business but encourages you to be human, share a bit of your personal lives. Remember the era when we could update our status on Facebook for around a week? Tweeting our “statuses” on twitter feels the same (and I personally like that feature). You can share text, images, videos, polls, gifs, articles and other data from others sites as well – even tweets by others using the re-tweeting option – give a little update on your life, what you are thinking, or what’s going on. Again, a great way of being supported and being supportive.

5- Notifications

  Being retweeted, being followed (on Twitter, not by a physical stalker, haha), having posts liked, commented on and personal messages are those tiny rays of hope and sunshine that literally brighten my day because it means someone supports me, believes in my blog, my “thing” (even if it’s not with their heart, they have done something to help me). It’s important to remember to never keep it one-way. Do the same for people who are there for you, and others as well. You never know how much it could mean to them.

Losing hope at this point is not a choice however overwhelming. Overall, my experience has been positive – it has allowed me to connect with other bloggers, non-bloggers, people who support each other, promote my blog, boost my confidence in the same. It is an extremely respectful and encouraging environment. Now it is up to me as well to be a part of it and do my part in giving back.

  To Tweet or Not to Tweet… Level: Newbie It is a great honor to be selected as a guest blogger at The Raging Empath…

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Somewhat of a lazy blog post, so to speak. I’m simply sharing random goodness in this post, rather than writing original content or adding my own commentary. Enjoy this as a placeholder until I can get my next real post up. Thanks for being patient!

    Share the goodness!! #theragingempath

Lazy Random Goodness Somewhat of a lazy blog post, so to speak. I'm simply sharing random goodness in this post, rather than writing original content or adding my own commentary.

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Say Hello to Sarah!

Say Hello to Sarah!

Schools out for Parents! In more ways than one.

Anyone ever feel like the world (& by that I often mean schools) is against working parents, especially at the end of term. I constantly feel like I’m failing as a mum because I can’t make every open afternoon, sports day, fete, play, singing competition & parents evening. Along with that comes the camping trips, the visits to theme parks, the…

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A Twisted Mentality

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The Vulnerability Paradox

Remember Resistance is futile? We’ve talked about adopting an attitude of nonresistance, of surrendering to the present moment, accepting it without trying to change it or judge it, as though you have chosen it to be exactly what it is. When we stop struggling, we float. It’s the law.  We saw an alternate definition of vulnerability…that it actually lends itself to invulnerability.

How and when…

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I had a feeling I tried to name. It took me a while. It was empty, but calm, strangely calm, as though something was out of place or maybe the calm before the storm? But it was peaceful. So strangely serene. The only way I could describe it was as odd zen. I like it, I’m keeping it. I love the odd zen feeling. It’s empty, but it’s complete. Nothing is needed in that moment.

My current awareness empowers me to decipher

what I KNOW over what I feel.

You know how much I love words and definitions and synonyms, etc. Humor me, let’s break it down:

Awareness: a non-resisting, non-ego non-attachment. It is being calm, centered, paying attention, shifting your consciousness to the present moment with appreciation in this moment without trying to tweak it.

Empowers is just an awesome word – and really, I don’t have much for this one. The strength I feel just from saying, reading, thinking that word – to be empowered is to authorize and equip and somewhat unshackling, depending on the context. It works here. And every time I see the word, without fail, I sing in my head: “I’ve got the power!”

I chose the word decipher very carefully. I wavered among “choose” and “focus” and “intend.” I’m very clear on the definition of “decipher,” (and I abhor quotation marks) but my love for words needs to be reminded. Deciphering is to decode and analyze something. It gives me a chance to look at it, sit with it, assess the situation, disentangling the facts from the feels.

There’s a huge amount of suffering that is generated, not by the actual challenges of life, but by the fictitious problems that the mind generates. (Eckhart Tolle)

Well, Tolle, you hit the nail on the head with me there. Sometimes I really can’t tell. For a couple of years (recently, but not currently), I used a phrase with a close friend of mine – I often told her I was having trouble telling the difference between what was real and what I had created in my head. I knew there was a distinction, and I knew which one I’d honor …if only I could determine the one from the other. (I’m not going to give you an example yet; I don’t really have one that’s not extremely personal, and I’m not quite ready to bare my soul as such just yet!) Moving on.

What I KNOW not surprisingly means give me the facts. What is real? What is the unadulterated, unassuming truth? I know that everything is temporary. I know that the facts take precedence to feelings. I know that I am safe, creative, capable, loved, authentically expressive, trusting, and aware…painfully so at times.

Over, not instead of, mind you. Feel the feels fully. That’s important. Acknowledge, visit, and then let it pass under the facts. Feelings do not hold the same weight as knowledge. Feelings are important, necessary, and temporary. But keep your head. Own the earth. Choose knowledge OVER – higher than – beyond your transient feelings.  

What I FEEL … feelings are attachments, resistance, egoistic ideals, and more than anything else, temporary. Feelings are fed; embrace the power to feed the feelings you want to experience. Negative feelings create expectation, leading to frustration and the illusion of lack, but they also act as messengers to bring awareness to what I need to learn. If I feel anxious, and I ask myself “What is this anxiety trying to tell me?” I look inward, and all the facts point to nothing; therefore, I shift my awareness, and now look, we’re back at the beginning with the power of awareness.

Here are eleven of my favorite

“odd-zen” self-discovery quotations:

   Become invincible.

The Odd-Zen of Self-Discovery I had a feeling I tried to name. It took me a while. It was empty, but calm, strangely calm, as though something was out of place or maybe the calm before the storm?

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#amwriting #theragingempath #keepyourhead #blogging

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Resistance is STILL Futile...

Resistance is STILL Futile…

Recap from Part One: what you resist, persists; but what flows, erodes. Nonresistance is a superhuman tool that when practiced, can provide incredible power in increasing the calm and easement of your mental and emotional wellness. “If I stop struggling, I float. It’s the law.” Remember our snake in the last post? We saw what nonresistance looks like and how it behaves. We learned that it is not…

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#balance #keepyourhead

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Resistance is Futile

Quick thing: I love words. I will be interrupting today’s post occasionally with a random but powerful enhancement words for emphasis, providing a sort of dramatic flair, adding  value. I’m confident it will add to your reading experience. 

Does it ever feel like your mind isn’t yours…as though, for any moment, however fleeting, it belongs to someone or something else, and the control is slipping…

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#thesuperhumanexperience

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#blogging

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I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Let me tell you why.

Mary Wells said it best, when she sang “My Guy”:

“As a matter of opinion I think he’s tops, my opinion is he’s the cream of the crop; as a matter of taste to be exact he’s my ideal as a matter of fact…He may not be a movie star, but when it comes to bein’ happy we are.”

Except, I don’t think it’s just my opinion; I think it’s the absolute truth. I see my guy in ways that you may not, but I think you’d agree that he is not average. It’s one of my favorite things about this man.

“Appreciate the people who tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. The ones who challenge your comfort zone with a different kind of clarity. This fierce type of love plants forests of new freedom and fresh air.” (Victoria Erickson)

Let me tell you a little bit more about him. He is a hard worker, a good son, a generous and loyal friend, an animal lover…his sign is Cancer; he looks like Abraham Lincoln. His favorite color is blue; he’s a mechanic, a conservative, and a nerd, though you’d never know it by looking at him.

He’s also a Mama’s boy…this Mama raised the man of my dreams; he treats me like a princess, because he was raised by a queen, to whom I am forever grateful. He’s strong, sexy, and sweet. My guy is good at anything he puts his mind to, he values family, and has an incredible sense of empathy and generosity.

He’s my superhero. He knows what I need before I need it, is insanely affectionate, passionate, and supportive. He is proud of my success, he gets crabby when I’m not around, and he unveils my beauty like the moon unveils the darkness. He reminds me that I’m strong, amazing, and beautiful. He is fierce, fearless, and fantastic…fantastic in all the definitions of the word, but specifically, as though he is a fantasy…except, he’s totally real and completely extraordinary.

It’s not all good. I mean, nobody is perfect, of course. He can be impatient (not that I have any room to talk); his self-confidence may border on egoism, but he’s also so altruistic, it balances out. His self-reliance and kind heart has kept him alive and functioning. He’s intolerant of certain things, some things that I don’t understand, but who’s not? I get frustrated…I won’t lie. But we’re learning each other. “To know someone deeply is to know a universe contained in skin.” It’s exciting to experience that, and honestly, it feels like we are never not laughing with each other. That’s goodness.

He’s been burned. I don’t know all the details, but I don’t need to. I know that everything he has dealt with in his life, as far as I’m concerned, has led him to me. I hate that he’s had to suffer through struggle and pain and heartbreak, but no more. I’m his girl. And to those who hurt him, I say thank you. He’s come through on the other side and has the most amazing soulmate b/c of it. (That’s me! I’m pretty awesome. Humble too.)

*Everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my relationships, my regrets: everything. And when we’re together, my past seems worth it, because if I had done one thing differently, I might never have met you.*

Everybody loves the Pina colada song, a love story with a twist. I never put too much thought into the song, until I fell in love with my Travis. It came on the radio one day when I was alone in the car, and of course, I sang along. When it got to “So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place. I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face,” a thought hit me: Travis and I are so in tune with each other, that even if, god-forbid, we found ourselves looking for someone else, our chemistry is so deep and intense, we’d just end up finding each other instead. That thought made me smile. Having that type of connection with someone is rare and precious….and we are lucky to have it. It’s beautifully surreal.

I’ve never truly known this kind of freedom and love and chemistry and connection. It’s incredible and I’m so insanely happy. He’s been my catalyst for a healthier mentality and lifestyle. I’ve made some decisions and implemented healthy habits that I would never have been able to do or keep doing on my own.

“Real love transcends the material plane; no matter if your bodies are apart, your souls will be forever connected. Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes, b/c for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation.”

I’ve been blogging recently, and in my last post, I mentioned that I’d give you examples of the Chakra Affirmations that I developed. I was leading up to this. Though it may seem off topic, this is the first set I’ve created, specifically for me, regarding my amazing man, corresponding to each of the seven chakras, respectively. This was a game changer for me, and he was that spark that got my fire going. I delved deeper into love with my guy, and also learned a really great coping skill.

I am safe, because I am grounded. We have a solid foundation together.

I accept my feelings, and that they are fleeting. We create an incredible amount of positivity between us.

I am capable, willing, and ready to do anything I desire. We have committed to support each other.

I love and am loved avidly; suspicion is unwarranted.

I am free to express myself, because I am respected. We cultivate honesty.

I am confident in our future; my intuition is calm; we live in the present moment.

I am aware of and connected to myself, giving me the power to be aware of and connected to him. We understand each other.

He is my soulmate.

“Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you the happiest, no. They’re instead the ones who make you feel the most, burning edges, scars, and stars. Old pangs, captivation, and beauty. Strain and shadows and worry and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.” (Victoria Erickson)

He knows my happiness is my responsibility, and he continuously and passionately cultivates my wellbeing. He incites feelings: some good, some not so much…but he always captivates me. Regardless of the daily struggle he, I, or we may face, he tastes like hope. And “hope is the thing with feathers that perches on the soul and sings the tunes without the words and never stops at all.”  (Emily Dickinson)

Happy birthday, my darling. I love you more.

When I Say I Love you More… I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Let me tell you why. Mary Wells said it best, when she sang “

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I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Let me tell you why.

Mary Wells said it best, when she sang “My Guy”:

“As a matter of opinion I think he’s tops. My opinion is he’s the cream of the crop; as matter of taste to be exact he’s my ideal as a matter of fact…he may not be a movie star, but when it comes to bein’ happy we are.”

Except, I don’t think it’s just my opinion; I think it’s the absolute truth. I see my guy in ways that you may not, but I think you’d agree that he is not average. It’s one of my favorite things about this man.

“Appreciate the people who tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. The ones who challenge your comfort zone with a different kind of clarity. This fierce type of love plants forests of new freedom and fresh air.” (Victoria Erickson)

Let me tell you a little bit more about him. He is a hard worker, a good son, a generous and loyal friend, an animal lover…his sign is Cancer; he looks like Abraham Lincoln; and he loves hockey. His favorite color is blue; he’s a mechanic, a conservative, and a nerd, though you’d never know it by looking at him.

He’s also a Mama’s boy…this Mama raised the man of my dreams; he treats me like a princess, because he was raised by a queen, to whom I am forever grateful. He’s strong, sexy, and sweet. My guy is good at anything he puts his mind to, he values family, and has an incredible sense of empathy and generosity.

He’s my superhero. He knows what I need before I need it, is insanely affectionate, passionate, and supportive. He is proud of my success, he gets crabby when I’m not around, and he unveils my beauty like the moon unveils the darkness. He reminds me that I’m strong, amazing, and beautiful. He is fierce, fearless, and fantastic…fantastic in all the definitions of the word, but specifically, as though he is a fantasy…except, he’s totally real and completely extraordinary.

It’s not all good. I mean, nobody is perfect, of course. He can be impatient (not that I have any room to talk); his self-confidence may border on egoism, but he’s also so altruistic, it balances out. His self-reliance and kind heart has kept him alive and functioning. He’s intolerant of certain things, some things that I don’t understand, but who’s not? I get frustrated…I won’t lie. But we’re learning each other. “To know someone deeply is to know a universe contained in skin.” It’s exciting to experience that, and honestly, it feels like we are never not laughing with each other. That’s goodness.

He’s been burned. I don’t know all the details, but I don’t need to. I know that everything he has dealt with in his life, as far as I’m concerned, has led him to me. I hate that he’s had to suffer through struggle and pain and heartbreak, but no more. I’m his girl. And to those who hurt him, I say thank you. He’s come through on the other side and has the most amazing soulmate because of it. (That’s me! I’m pretty awesome. Humble too.)

*Everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my relationships, my regrets: everything. And when we’re together, my past seems worth it, because if I had done one thing differently, I might never have met you.*

Everybody loves the Pina Colada song, a love story with a twist. I never put too much thought into the song, until I fell in love with my Travis. It came on the radio one day when I was alone in the car, and of course, I sang along. When it got to “So I waited with high hopes, then she walked in the place. I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face,” a thought hit me: Travis and I are so in tune with each other, that even if, god-forbid, we found ourselves looking for someone else, our chemistry is so deep and intense, we’d just end up finding each other instead. That thought made me smile. Having that type of connection with someone is rare and precious….and we are lucky to have it. It’s beautifully surreal.

I’ve never truly known this kind of freedom and love and chemistry and connection. It’s incredible and I’m so insanely happy. He’s been my catalyst for a healthier mentality and lifestyle. I’ve made some decisions and implemented healthy habits that I would not have been able to do or keep doing on my own.

“Real love transcends the material plane; no matter if your bodies are apart, your souls will be forever connected. Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes, because for those who love with heart and soul, there is no such thing as separation.”

I’ve been blogging recently, and in my last post, I mentioned that I’d give you examples of the Chakra Affirmations that I developed. I was leading up to this. Though it may seem a bit off topic, this is the first set I’ve created, specifically for me, regarding my amazing man, corresponding to each of the seven chakras, respectively. This was a game changer for me, and he was that spark that got my fire going. I delved deeper into love with my guy, and also learned a really great coping skill.

I am safe, because I am grounded. We have a solid foundation together.

I accept my feelings, and that they are fleeting. We create an incredible amount of positivity between us.

I am capable, willing, and ready to do anything I desire. We have committed to support each other.

I love and am loved avidly; suspicion is unwarranted.

I am free to express myself, because I am respected. We cultivate honesty.

I am confident in our future; my intuition is calm; we live in the present moment.

I am aware of and connected to myself, giving me the power to be aware of and connected to him. We understand each other.

He is my soulmate.

“Soulmates aren’t the ones who make you the happiest, no. They’re instead the ones who make you feel the most, burning edges, scars, and stars. Old pangs, captivation, and beauty. Strain and shadows and worry and yearning. Sweetness and madness and dreamlike surrender. They hurl you into the abyss. They taste like hope.” (Victoria Erickson)

He knows my happiness is my responsibility, and he continuously and passionately cultivates my wellbeing. He incites feelings: some good, some not so much…but he always captivates me. Regardless of the daily struggle he, I, or we may face, he tastes like hope. And “hope is the thing with feathers that perches on the soul and sings the tunes without the words and never stops at all.”

Happy birthday, my darling. I love you more.

When I Say I Love You More… I’m the luckiest girl in the world. Let me tell you why. Mary Wells said it best, when she sang “