The Brant Brothers (ii)
I'm returning now to a subject that I've touched on before. Yes, those intolerably precocious and priviliged twinks that are Harry and Peter Brant (don't know who they are? consider yourself lucky) have enraged me so that I'm dedicating yet another post to them. Seriously, all I have to do to send myself headlong into a fit of uncontrollable rage is read the twitter feed of these fine-boned fashionistas and I'll be punching trees and gnawing on plasterboard for hours.
Instead of addressing my own rage issues however, I have decided it would be more therepeutic for me to vent some of my anger by analysing a few of the more annoying tweets from the joint twitter account (yes, they share a fucking twitter account) of these spoilt little New York cherubs. So take a deep breath, open a fresh pack of valium and put on some Enya because here we go.
"H: can going to carine roitfields ball at the frick get more decadent? YES.. If your wearing @dolcegabbana gold embroidery." - This is quite typical of the sort of tweet you can expect from the Brant Brothers. Emoting privilege, condescension and general distastefulness in under 140 characters. It's actually quite an achievement.
“My brother and I wearing Dolce in the rain outside the Frick last night #rkptbpkoi #nyfw #nycnightstrife #gl http://instagr.am/p/PYinc3tJlb/ ” - Poor dears. Careful you don't catch pneumonia, I've been willing a far more heinous illness on you and I'd hate to think it only amounted to some fluid on your tiny, ambrosial lungs.
“P:Some people get off making the Internet a more hateful place, I feel nothing for them but pity and disgust. Their lives must be pretty sad” - FUUUUUCCCCKKK YOOOUUU.
“P: No matter where I am in the world Im always around the same people... is society just a vehicle designed to keep life perpetually boring?” - Well we all have our crosses to bear, Peter. For some of us that means finding a job and earning a living, for others it means traelling the world and attending fashion shows while wearing designer clothes and almost driving me to insanity with your tweets. You're right though, life just isn't fair sometimes.
“P:U know when youve been partying all week to prepare 4 a massive party that weekend, then sunday comes around & U cant get out of bed #SOML “ - Tell me, Peter, have you ever had to suck gin out of your friends handbag and accidentally swallowed a piece of glass in the process, and then gone back to have another go? No? Well then you haven't partied, Sir.
“H: Thank gods it's night. Nothing is forgiven under the suns insidious glare” - Stupid boy, the internet does nto recognise the laws of day or night. My hatred for you and your brother is a steady-burning one. Blood courses through my veins like the firey waters of the River Styx and will not be quenched until your twiter feed reaches a very public and traumatic end.
“I love to come home to a surprise gift from Paris #IDeserveit” - I don't really know what to say about this one. I actually think I'm after developing a hernia during the course of writing this post.
And that's about all I have to say about the Brant brothers at the minute. Needless to say this is an area I will be revisiting at some point, and given the amount of bile these two fill me with I'd imagine a new Brant-inspired post will be emerging sooner rather than later.
In the meantime however, please join me in throwing entire, heaped handfuls of cyber shit at these two bastards by tweeting at @HarryPeterBrant. Alternatively, if you'd like to jump to their defence you can tell me how wrong I am about these two by tweeting at @LucasBellmon.