I just finished my s3 rewatch yesterday and I need to talk about how heartbreaking Mike's sequence is in the final scenes. You can literally see his reaction to figuring out that he's gay evolve from initial confusion, to shock, to devastation and distress as well as immense fear about what comes next.
When El kisses him, he realizes right off the bat that something about the kiss is "off," though not necessarily bad. He's kind of left wondering, "Huh? What the hell was that about?" asking himself why the kiss didn't mean more to him and why he couldn't bring more passion to the kiss, especially in light of the fact that he's not going to see El for a very long time. It's not the reaction of someone who just realized something about themselves, but the reaction of someone who realizes that something is just not quite right. Mike does not immediately realize he's gay, he's just like, "I wonder why I feel this way."
It's not until the kids are outside watching the Byers family leave that Mike is starting to put the pieces together. He's just had his final interaction with both Will and El for the time being. He's just said his goodbyes, and as he's watching the moving van drive away, he's realizing that his feelings about Will and El leaving are not what he expected them to be. "Will can come, too," is what he told El when El was talking about coming to visit over the holidays, but he's realizing that he didn't just invite Will to tag along as a third wheel to what would essentially be a romantic reunion between El and himself. He's realizing that Will is not secondary to his relationship with El and never has been. Will is the one he finds himself thinking about and pining for as he watches Will and El slip out of his life. Mike is the last party member to leave the Byers' residence, and we see him glancing back at the house, the place where he's shared so many memories with Will, and as he starts biking back to his own house, he realizes that he has a lot to contemplate and come to terms with on his ride there.
I believe he has the ACTUAL realization that he's gay on his bike ride home, once everything starts falling into place for him: El kissed him and he felt nothing. Will was the one he was thinking about as he watched the Byers family leave Hawkins; not El. He took one last good look at Will's house and realized that the most important and tender connection he has in his life is the relationship he has with Will: not the one he has with El.
And then, by the time he gets home, he's successfully figured out what it all means and he's in shock. Not only is he in shock, but he feels trapped now. Horrified of the implications of what this means for him, what it means for his relationship what his family, and what it means for his relationships with both Will and El, neither of which he will very easily be able to nurture or work on now that Will and El will be across the country from him. He's just discovered the most shocking, life-changing fact about himself--something that will change the trajectory of his life and will be a great source of suffering and oppression for him--and he's going to have to navigate it and figure it out all by himself, without any help, understanding, love or support from his own family, the Byers family, or his friends.
He hugs his mom and feels the weight of it all hitting him at once. He's thinking about how his mom may love him and want to be there for him now, in this moment, but there may come a time when she will no longer be there for him. He's realizing what this means for his relationships with El and Will. No doubt he feels a huge amount of responsibility to love and be there for El. El loves him and depends on him, and the fact that he's been there for her this entire time, he's already set the precedent for El herself, Hopper, and his own friends that he's going to be that for her: someone who loves and defends her. He feels the crushing guilt of knowing that he's going to let every single one of those people down by being gay. Of knowing that El loves and depends on him and that he can't love her back.
And then there's his relationship with Will, which he no doubt believes will be negatively affected by these newfound feelings. In his mind, Will is his best friend but also someone who is "normal" like the rest of the boys. Will may be a bit of a late bloomer, but he's going to grow up, start talking to girls, and have a girlfriend of his own soon enough. And Mike probably believes that from this point onward, his relationship with Will is going to be awkward, distant, and emotionally stunted by the fact that he's secretly in love with Will.
My poor BABY. I just can't even imagine the weight he must have felt once he realized he was gay and all of these crashing, painful realizations just slammed him all at once. In a matter of minutes, he realized he was going to be ostracized, alone, and a huge letdown to everyone in his life and that he'd have to face this all by himself.
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