Ever had that weird feeling when you’re sitting (or peeing) and suddenly it’s like you’re losing everything? (I mean, ok, you’re losing your pee, lol). Everything just becomes too much, and you either prepare to cry, (bonus points if you curl up in a fetal position, ‘cause on the toilet seat that’s practically gymnastics) or grab a bag of popcorn, your midnight bathroom snack, not caring that you’re going bonkers (I respect that, you da hood). Except for the buttered popcorn, nothing about it is fun, yet it’s happened to every single one of us.
To cut short this intro, here’s how NOT to lose your shit. It’s time to take complete ownership of your life (someone cue the dramatic music, I don’t have a stereo. #BROKE-AF).
Someone amazing once said “your brain is your most valuable tool.” That’s true. Once you learn how to control your mind, you will start to see that we, being the dumb idiots that we are, over-complicate the simplest of things. You’re not losing your shit (but finish that popcorn anyway). Your mind just convinced you that you are. My wise friend once said that it’s either you directing your mind or it’s the other way around. Show your mind who’s boss and conquer it. Here’s how:
Don’t make excuses. Not only does it piss off Miss Honey and your dog (your dog has better things to eat, my dude), but it robs you of the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. As I always say, life is not a report card. It’s never perfect, and it’s the little flaws that push you to aim higher. In the end, life is just growth as a human being (or as a basic hoe, like me). Here’s an example of taking full responsibility for your actions:
Action: You didn’t submit your essay on time.
Normal response: “I didn’t know about the essay.”
“My dog ate up my entire computer.”
“I was saving the world from zombies.”
Conqueror talk: “I didn’t get in my essay, for that no excuse is valid. I have learned from this and you can expect better next time.”
Miss Honey will be pleased.
I’m a firm believer that emotions hinder productivity. Now, don’t get me wrong, emotions are great. There are many things to shed tears on. Tris from Divergent died. Trump became President. You just got friend-zoned. It’s great to have emotions in cases like these. But when it comes down to getting work done, it’s better to have a firm control over them.
Imagine finishing that crappy essay 3 mins before your deadline when Sophia from book club comes up all like “Did you hear what Archie just said to me? He’s such a jerk.” That’s torture. Honestly, it’s a miracle we get team assignments done because there is always that one friend who’s either crying over her ex or dying over how cute puppies are.
When working, choose productivity over pride. The reason being, it not only affects your quality of work by distracting you but also makes you the 90 year old grannie shouting from behind in the supermarket line. People legit fly away in the other direction when they see you.
But of course, in other cases, go ahead and release the waterworks. I’m still crying over Mufasa’s death anyway.
(I’m about to get deep, wearing that diving suit, alright). Conquering is hard. There’ll be days when you’ll feel like doing anything but that boring report Miss Honey assigned. Like, who cares whether the Nile or the Amazon is longer?
However, the mindset of a conqueror is so strong that the little demon called procrastination doesn’t stand a chance. You’ll see us partying the whole weekend because we already slayed ‘em rivers and hunted down those fishies Friday. Wanna join in? Here are some aspects of the conqueror mindset:
Procrastination isn’t allowed. We understand that procrastination not only wastes precious time but basically means partying on a guilty mind. We would rather be that person drinking all them shots than be Abby sitting in the corner, worrying about her calc HW.
Discipline. Every conqueror knows that things need to be done at the right time (and in the right way, of course). Playing slither.io is great, but if you’re hooked for 7 hours and your poor report on rivers has turned into a dust bunny, then mate, you are not conquering. Get up and get the job done already.
Time management. It’s 11:58 pm. Your report (lol, get a grip mate) has finally been wiped of all that dust, and you’re settling to start on it. You open the first page of the assignment and have a mini heart attack. It says: Bring in by 12 am, xx Feb ‘18). To become a conqueror, hence, you must learn to travel back in time. JK. To become a conqueror, it’s important to value time because it’s priceless. A year from now, those hours you spent eating all that snake kill in slither.io won’t mean shit, but if you grind, if you choose to work hard, then every single moment will be memorable and pay off.
So, how do you do it? Ok, grab your notebook, grab your cauldron, and jot down. Let’s see what we got here… ‘Add a horn of bicorn’ and just a little bit of -what’s that- salamander blood?” *Potion explodes* Um, sorry for that mess. *Waves wand to clean*
Point is, there’s no secret spell to becoming disciplined and focused. Put down that wand, please. I’ll explain.
If you truly want to take control of your life, you must know your why. Why do you want to? Maybe you’re sick of procrastinating and letting yourself down? Maybe you’re tired of being a couch potato and want to get that ass to the gym? Maybe Abby wants to drink them tequila shots too? Because unless you really want it, you won’t get it. It’s important to know your why and let it lead you into battle as your motivation.
In short, you have to be a superhero (I choose to be Superwoman!) and learn to conquer your life before you save Kim from the fire. Your life is truly valuable, and here’s a secret: If you want to get results you have never gotten before, you’re going to have to do things you’ve never done before. Everyone gets the same 24 hours in a day, the same opportunities, and the same chances to follow their dreams. They just make different choices. If you choose to rewatch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. for the 58th time while balancing chips in one hand and popcorn in the other, our world will lose one of its heroes.
But if you do decide to put on that superhero cape, I’m with you. Kim, hang on. We’re coming for you.
other masterposts in “get your shit together, you are here to conquer.” :-
general tips for getting your shit together
loving yourself and letting go of negativity
understanding the meaning of your life
Well, that’s it, it’s a wrap! If you have any questions/suggestions regarding anything I said up there, feel free to send in a message! My other og posts are here and to request one, leave your question in my ask box!
I hope you all are well, stay strong and conquer life, you conqueror.
