Lucille's Diary

i'm so lonesome i could cry.

[lucillesthoughts]

introduction (welcome to my blog)

music: violet indiana, solya, frank iero, my chemical romance, buck-tick, sade, marvin gaye, hank williams, rosie & the originals, devi mccallion, the frights, mike krol, beach goons, mexican slum rats, devil's witches, misfits, the beatles, pinkpantheress

media: red dead redemption, cry of fear, fallout tv show, silent hill(1-4-F), welcome to derry, it, spider-verse, my little pony

abt me: 15 year old canadian girl!! i love to journal my thoughts, this blog is just for what i really need to get out there. i love books, I like to learn new things, i'm learning to play the guitar, i love to sketch and write, lace, perfumes, fall, vanilla coffee so yumm, music n movie loverr, oldies music!!, fashion

pls don't be afraid to interact w mee (｡>ㅅ<｡)

i post about perversion and things i really like!!

DNI: men, men, men, men, maga, zionists, homophobes, lanacore girlbloggers, religious folks, maga, maga

[lucillesthoughts]

waitttt… maybe life DIDNT run me over to ruin my life but to let him get away because i asked for something new that he couldn’t and wouldn’t provide for me? 🤔🤔

[lucillesthoughts]

i love this, i feel so much better when i let out my thoughts and feelings onto this account without actually telling anyone irl how i feel, it’s good this is good.

[lucillesthoughts]

i want to be touched by a gentle tall beautiful kind male… i’m so sad i want to smell him and touch him and lick his neck i’m so sad …gosh

[lucillesthoughts]

listening to across the sea over and over while feeling thrown away by life

i’m being dramatic ik damn well i can just manifest all of this shit back with sum affirmations but it feels human to be disappointed by what could have been, but letting it go anywayssss

[lucillesthoughts]

it just hurts because he was literally MY TYPE like EXACTLY what i wrote in my notes it’s honestly kind of scary, then when he was talking to me it felt so cliche like a story i would of imagined before bed..

THEN life hits me with a bus that has “reality” spray painted on the windshield and life yells while driving off “SORRY!!! you don’t deserve that” and there i am laying on the pavement like a squished mosquito watching as the bus and what i could of had just heads further and further away..

i don’t like crying over boys because it feels like they won by making me cry over them so instead i just lay there feeling hollow and disappointed, I’m so so so frustrated.

[lucillesthoughts]

i rlly thought i was gonna have my own romance story 😂😂😂😂 omfggggg i reaaaaallllyyyyyyy thouuuughhhttt 😂😂😂

then turns out he was only being nice to me 😂😂😂😂 i still feel so stupid abt that shit my disappointment to see him holding holds with another girl sighhh

it only made me angrier due to the fact she was super sweet and talented and pretty.. we’ll get em next time i suppose (ts is such an 1nc3l post i’m sorry LMAO i just feel sad and like a bum)

[lucillesthoughts]

that one outfit clark wears with his flannel, blue jeans and his wife beater? i can see his tummy sticking out and omfg i’m gnawing at my lip he’s so sexy i need that i need that i NEEED THAT NOW!!!

he’s so crazy he’s so weird i need him sorry

[lucillesthoughts]

what the hell happened to spotify, it’s GENUINELY unusable unless you have premium, i usually use my lyra app (sm better than spotify) but it’s been weird (on my phone) like whenever i go onto the app it just quickly crashes and keeps doing that each time i go onto it so it’s basically useless now, but anyway i’m using spotify FOR NOW.

This app is so shit now i can only pick a few songs i want to listen to for ONE day?

fucking spotify omg can never depend on it can’t we

[lucillesthoughts]

i remember when my cramps were so bad that i’d be unable to eat anything and i’d become pale and sickly, though i WAS hungry i also just felt so sick from my stupid cramps that i could never bring myself to eat something.

Or when i’d be sitting on the toilet hoping that would ease up my uterus, until i couldn’t take the pain and i almost fainted but i just sat up and walked towards my room and cried for the pain to stop, it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did anymore since i got my heating pad and i’m sososososoooo thankful but holy shit i should have gotten that shit checked out.

[lucillesthoughts]

i become so lazy and hungry when i’m on my period i can’t even lie.

Oh how i want to shower because obviously i’m unclean and my hair is oily but god these FUCKING cramps are trying to kill me by tearing the skin off my uterus from the inside and aaaaa i want to play my video games but i can’t get up omffffggggg 😭😭

[lucillesthoughts]

when someone characterizes your fav SO perfect like oh my god THEY WOULD say that..

[lucillesthoughts]

wait even if i didn’t find a way i literally could have used twitter omg i’m dumb

FUCK THAT BITCH

[lucillesthoughts]

YES FUCK YES I FIGURED OUT A WAY HOLY SHIT HOLY SHJT

[lucillesthoughts]

i promise u im not a porn addict i just listen to men whimpering audios AND from time to time i like to watch girls touch themselves 👀

[lucillesthoughts]

ITS 3AM AND I WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF AND SLEEP HOLYYY FUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK

[lucillesthoughts]

no i’m genuinely fucking fuming bro my MOTHER ACTUALLY TOOK THE TIME TO BLOCK ADULT CONTENT WEBSITES ON SAFARI WHAT THE FUCK????

GOD FORBID I WANT TO RELAX AND TOUCH MYSELF

I’M GENUINELY PISSED OFF WTF DO I DOOOO 😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣