stiffen the sinews,

independent and selective regis lucis caelum

[thequotejournals]

Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.

Kait Rokowski (via wordsnquotes)

[eddardstark]

and now it begins.

[youusedme]

sassytrolls:

So,

if I ever:

Drop an RP without notice

Say ‘yes let’s RP!’ and then quit answering

Say I’ll post a starter and then don’t

Don’t respond to your starter

It’s because I forgot.

It’s because I forgot.

 NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT REMINDING ME.

[lucisvowed-blog]

shieldvowed.

       Clarus suspected Regis hasn’t meant it in the way he had taken it but it hurt none the less. Had Regis merely accepted Clarus’ proposition because he was young and horny and Clarus had been there? Would anyone have done in this situation? Clarus swallowed thickly, burying a heavy breath between Regis’ shoulder blades. He was overthinking thinks.

But it was hard not to, what did this mean to them? Was this the same to Regis as it was to him?

This was not the time to think of such things—overthinking could come later when they are both in the Regalia making small talk.

“I did not know if you desired me, in truth Regis.” this morning seemed like a good morning for truths they seemed to flow off Clarus’ tongue and onto Regis’ skin with ease.

Clarus nudged his legs forward, intending to tangle them together lazily. Close, closer, impossibly close that was what Clarus wanted, for the two of them to be so tangled they were not two souls but one.

Perhaps to Clarus they always had been.

“I did not wish to push my advances on you and possibly compromise our friendship, because..” Clarus paused, chewing on his lip before adding in a softer voice. “Because your friendship is important to me.”

It was hard to focus on what Clarus was saying. Regis could feel the words echoing inside his chest, but they kept falling out of order and he was drifting off in the pauses between sentences. He couldn’t quite work out what Clarus wanted from Regis; it seemed important, but it was far away and escaped his grasp.

He let their legs wind together, shifting so they were pressed so close it was hard to tell whose limbs were whose. He tugged on Clarus’ arm and brought his wrist up so Regis could press his lips against the tattoo there, the one with his name on it. He’d known when he’d seen the ink carved into Clarus’ skin that he’d kiss it one day. Maybe Regis would do so again; it felt right, like that was a piece of his Shield that belonged to him. 

Regis tangled their fingers together and placed their hands over his heart.

He said, “This is nice.”

[lucisvowed-blog]

shieldvowed.

       “I guess I got a little carried away.” Clarus was still getting carried away with little chaste kisses pressed like a constellation of stars across the plane of Regis’ shoulders. Clarus was warm and content and he had Regis pressed against him and he didn’t even care that he’d got no release out of this.

Clarus took enough pleasure at being able to merely hold Regis and splay his hand against his chest and feel his heart beat against the flat of his palm.

It was strong and steady and reminded Clarus that Regis was here and breathing and oh so gloriously alive.

“I’ve..wanted to do that for a while and got caught up in the moment.” The confession now didn’t fluster him as much whereas before he’d never been able to admit his desire for the prince. He was the Shield after all, such things as Regis were not for men like him. It felt different now things were more out in the open.

Here they were together tangled up on a warm morning and Clarus had no intention of letting Regis go for a long while yet.

Regis smiled into the pillow. “S’okay,” he said, though he wasn’t entirely sure why Clarus would think it wasn’t. There was a reason---propriety or duty or something like that---but those ideas were sharp and still far away, and Regis didn’t feel like moving from his warm, gentle nest. It would be so easy to go back to sleep, to stay here and lose a day or week without having to face what was waiting for him out there. He didn’t want to let go and lose the protective fog curled around his brain that was keeping the bubbles of panic and anger from tearing into him again.

When Clarus spoke, his words vibrated through Regis, like a baseline pulsing though his ribs, and he could feel them like something tangible. He sighed and tried to squirm closer to Clarus.

“You could have said so sooner,” Regis said. A lazy grin slid in a crooked line across his face. “I don’t usually say no to blow jobs, as a rule.”

[lucisvowed-blog]

Sexual Sunday Headcanon Questions! 1.

sexual sunday headcanon questions // accepting.

1. what does your muse do as foreplay?

“does clarus count?” - @shieldvowed

real talk, though: it depends a bit on the partner. generally, he likes to put on a bit of a show. he’s kind of a tease and he enjoys getting his partners riled up by striping, licking or biting (them), and touching himself with them watching. he tends to be pretty quick to go down on his partner, as well, though as often as not he’ll stop before they want him to because—again—kind of a tease.

he’s also been known to spout some poetry.

[noteddardstark]

“that little waltz may have just cost you your life.”

“tango.”

[lucisvowed-blog]

@shieldvowed

[lucisvowed-blog]

shieldvowed:

     “I wanted to.” Came Clarus’ answer though phrased as a question it was—did you not want me to?

Reaching up to meet Regis’ touch Clarus shifted up the bed laying beside his prince and draping an arm over him.

Clarus knew that this was too much, too intimate but he could not help it as he pulled Regis to his chest, burying his face against Regis. Clarus’ senses were filled with him, from his scent to the feel of his body pressed up against him and gods did Clarus not want to give this up for anything. He’d fight Bahamut himself if he’d came down to ruin this.

Though he could not help the doubts that flooded his mind—was he too much? Did he do something wrong? Shoulders heaved with a soft sigh that was buried in the slope of Regis’ shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” he said after a few moments of silence.

Clarus’ weight shifted across the bed, moving until Regis was pressed against him, surrounded by him, warm and safe and still vaguely feeling more like viscous goop than a human. He let his arm fall off his face. He rested it across his chest next to Clarus’ and listened to his Shield’s heart beating slow and steady against his back and he closed his eyes.

In the quiet that followed Regis was only aware of hearts and lungs and their soft, rhythmical sounds, until Clarus broke through the stillness with an odd declaration: I’m sorry.

“Sorry?” Regis cracked open his eyes and furrowed his brows and craned his neck to glance over his shoulder. “Sorry for what?”

[lucisvowed-blog]

shieldvowed.

Keep reading

Regis came so hard. He came too hard. His body didn’t even feel like it belonged to him it was just a rigid line of constricted muscles and then it was a puddle of goo slowly dissolving into the sheets while his eyes blurred in and out of focus. He could feel Clarus’ tongue on his limp dick and his breath warm against the cooling skin of his thigh.

“Am I...?” Regis said. Sun was filtering in through the slatted blinds, making lines of light and shadow on the ceiling. Regis watched as dust swirled in the air, falling over itself like detritus caught in a hurricane. 

He threw an arm over his face to cover his eyes with darkness. “Why did you do that?” he mumbled into his elbow. “You could have...you didn’t....” He reached out with his other arm, unsure what he was trying to say or do, and searched for the top of Clarus’ head.

[lucisvowed-blog]

28. Has your muse ever paid anyone for sex?

sexual sunday headcanon questions // accepting.

no. he’s never really had a problem getting any.

[titusdravtos]

And I swear I won’t go away, I will stay with you.

(for @kingslight // @shieldvowed)

[lucisvowed-blog]

shieldvowed.

      There is a hand around his throat and it feels like the world has been ripped out from under him. It was like the world had ceased to be. Gods Regis was so angry Clarus could feel the energy in the air and he knew that his words were no mere threat. Regis would remove him as Shield without even a moment to think about it.

And Clarus thought more of his daughter than his duty in that second—of that smiling girl but the lines don’t meet her eyes.

“Regis.. Regis…” Clarus gasped softly, fingers clasping lightly around Regis’ wrist and he tugged a few times to try and get the weight upon his windpipe to lessen. “Reg…can’t breathe..” A gutteral noise escaped the shield as Clarus didn’t fight back. He could easily overpower Regis—being the stronger of the two—but Clarus was sluggish and drunk and though the anger was sobering he didn’t want to run the risk of accidentally causing harm to the man.

Regis’ anger burnt hot and hard, turning everything around him to ash at his touch, ash like the words trapped at the back of his throat.

“I.. I understand..” Another broken sound escaped him, a few last tears trickling down the sides of his face and his next words were so soft Clarus wasn’t even sure if he said them or thought them.

“W…will you stay..? I…” need you with me.

Clarus never normally asked.

Regis let his hand fall to his side, clenching it in a tight fist to stop it from shaking. His nerves were raw and his muscles ached to lash out, to punch, to kick, to bite, to kill. He could feel the crystal’s power pulsing against his temples and the deep burning behind his eyes that meant their colour was flickering into something else and he struck out at the wall behind Clarus’ bed.

A snap rang across the room, and Regis wasn’t sure if it was the wall buckling open or the bones in his hand cracking from the impact. Pain seared up his arm, radiating out from his wrist and knuckles toward his elbow and throbbing through his fingers. The anger that had blazed like wildfire in his chest untied itself from his ribs and simmered into something else, something colder and far more deadly.

“No,” Regis said. 

He couldn’t be here any longer. He closed his eyes and let the rest of the crystal’s energy drain away; it was always so quick to flood into his veins, like wine from a poisoned chalice, intoxicating even as it killed. Most days it hummed under the surface of his skin, bubbling beside the wrath that accompanied him as faithfully as his own shadow.

He walked toward the inner door, determined not to let the fatigue that always followed a spike of rage show. He placed his uninjured hand on the doorknob and glanced over his shoulder at Clarus. 

Regis said, “I will return for you in the morning. See that you have made yourself presentable by then.”

He left the room and let the door slam shut behind him.

[lucisvowed-blog]

shieldvowed.

         Clarus knew that Regis’ anger would come, come with the feeling of lightning in the air and hairs on the nape of his neck standing on end. There was nothing soft about Regis’ anger it was raw and dangerous and Clarus knew he deserved it.

“Oh Gods.. Regis..” Clarus choked, sliding off the bed until he was on his knees before his king with his head bowed. Clarus didn’t want anything right now, he wanted to be nothing because he certainly wasn’t a good father. He knew it, he knew it. It was just one fuck up after the other. Broken promises and even more broken promises on top of that. He had done nothing in this world to deserve a daughter so understanding as Iris and a son that worked as hard as Gladiolus. His children were the best part of him and yet all he did was hurt them.

They deserved so much better.

“I know.. I .. I.. I fucked up.. she.. she wont even open the door to me.  I.. I tried to apologize..Gods I’m so sorry. I don’t… I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean it.. Astrals above please believe me Regis.” Clarus dared to look up at Regis—at his king and the Godfather to his daughter. The very daughter he struck. He was a mess, tears streaming down his face, fingers worried together, clasped as if he was praying—to the Astrals to Regis Clarus didn’t care who listened he just needed someone to know that he was sorry.

Regis flexed his hand, feeling the bones and ligaments tense and curl. His Goddaughter---Iris might as well be his blood. And anyone who dared strike one of his own should expect nothing less in return.

He stepped back and heaved a breath of air. “Get off your knees, Clarus. It is not my forgiveness you need to beg, you damned fool.”

He turned to leave, his blazer spinning through the air with a gentle hiss. He took two uneven steps toward the outer door then turned on his heel and glared down at Clarus. He looked pathetic, his pitiable wallowing nothing more than self-indulgence: it was helping nothing, except perhaps to assuage his own wounded conscience.

Regis seethed. He pushed down the violent protests in his knee and stormed back to Clarus and grabbed him around the neck and hauled him to his feet and threw him onto the bed. Regis grit his teeth and panted, each breath stoking the flames of rage burning inside him.

“You will stay here. You will sleep off this despicable display of self-pity. And when you have sobered up you will beg your daughter’s forgiveness or by the gods Clarus this will be your last day as my Shield.”

He ground his teeth together and loomed over Clarus. “Do I make myself plain?”

[kitagawasyusuke]

Walk tall, my son.

[lucisvowed-blog]

shieldvowed.

       Clarus went were Regis lead him, even completely over his limit some ingrained part of him knew to follow Regis no matter where he lead. It had always been like this, but he was a servant to the crown before he was Regis friend. He had to obey above all else.

Perhaps it was a conditioned response to follow without resistance though what Clarus really wanted to do was drink himself to oblivion. Perhaps he just wanted the comfort.

“It’s not… it’s not okay it won’t be okay Reg..” Clarus slurred, clinging onto Regis’ shirt until his knuckles ached.

“She’ll never forgive me.. she… she shouldn’t forgive me… she told me she hates me Regis and god I don’t blame her. I don’t..” He was babbling again, not making much sense strings of sentences that didn’t connect to each other.  He buried his face into Regis’ shoulder.

“I.. I didn’t mean to it.. I… I don’t know what happened..we was arguing … And I just.. I just I..oh Astrals above how could I.. I slapped her Regis… ”

Regis pulled away like he’d been burned. He stumbled off the bed, standing tall and firm and clenching his jaw. His eyes blazed and he could feel his face knot together and his lips pull back in a growl.

“You did what?” he hissed. Even to his own ears his voice was filled with danger, a quiet whisper like the edge of a knife. 

He dug his fingernails into his palms. Sparks of lightning arced between his knuckles. Rage seeped from the sharp edges of his limbs and every muscle in his body was taught, ready to strike, ready to tear open and summon a full Armiger strike. His chest felt like it was going to burst apart in a wildfire of darkness. He bit down on the inside of his lip until he could taste blood.

“How dare you.”

[lucisvowed-blog]

so anyway i’m resurrecting my personal blog and by “resurrecting” i mean remaking and whatever i guess but if you’re interested it’s over here and i’ll be chilling there some of the time and like posting gifsets and links to my questionable fanfics or whatever.

[lucisvowed-blog]

shieldvowed.

       Clarus hadn’t even reacted when he heard Regis walk away. He had hoped that would be the end of it so that Clarus could merely drink and wallow and not have to look Regis in the eye when he felt so shameful and disgusted with himself.

And then Regis strode into his room through the main door in a fury of thunder.

The bottles that lay upon the table still filled to the brim and ready to be cracked open and drank and Clarus was very much looking forward to not remembering the rest of the night. Regis had other ideas and Clarus did not even flinch when the sound of smashing glass and sloshing liquid filled his ears. He didn’t flinch, he didn’t react, he just sat there with his head in his hands, sobs so silent they were barely there.

Clarus couldn’t even look at him as Regis stood in front of him, Clarus had his head bowed, hands shaking, body wracked with sobs that left his throat feeling raw and his eyes stinging from tears that overspilled down his face and dripped down onto the floor at Regis’ feet.

“Regis I’m..I’m such a bad dad..terrible dad” He choked out finally after a few garbled incoherent tries. Clarus forced himself to his feet, teetering dangerously as he stumbled over to the table, sinking to his knees amidst the broken glass and brandy.

“Did… did you have to smash everything..?” Shards clinked together as Clarus brushed his hand through them, seeing if there was even a bit of alcohol left for him to drink.

Finding a half broken bottle, tipped on it’s side Clarus began to pick out the shards of glass that sat at the bottom in an attempt to make it salvageable.

“Lydia was right about that. Gods why couldn’t she have taken the kids they.. they would’ve been so much better off… better off without me.. better off without me constantly disappointing them, failing them. Iris, oh my little girl.. What-what was I thinking Regis that I could be a good dad? “ He was half talking to himself half muttering to Regis.

“The only thing I’m good at is keeping you safe and… and even then I fail at that.. I can’t protect you.. I can’t even look after my own family.. what good am I?”

“Clarus,” Regis said. He grabbed Clarus’ arm, stopping him from plucking glass out of the shattered bottle. “I think you’ve had enough for now, dear.” 

Even after Lydia had left he hadn’t been this bad. There had been anger and bitterness and fair amount of wallowing, but this---this was something else. Regis wound his arms around Clarus’ waist and tried to lead him over to the bed, hobbled by his Shield’s bulk and the sharp, twisting pain in Regis’ joints.

Softly, his voice barely more than a whisper, he said, “Shh. It’s okay.”

He tumbled onto the edge of the bed and dragged Clarus with him. “It’s okay, Clarus.”

Regis stroked the short bristles of hair at the top of Clarus’ head and kissed his temple. “Tell me what’s wrong, love.”