come as you are.

Continue to grow and continue to search for light in the shadows.

[lucmeva]

I want to break up with my gf. But I can't. So what do I do?

I'm getting this question really late. I hope it all worked out for you in the end. If you're unhappy in a relationship, it's something you should talk about with her to see where she stands too.

[lucmeva]

You're perfect in every way.

I personally don't believe so and feel like I've still got more to work on, but thank you for the kind words :)

[lucmeva]

Strengths.

All I want to do at this point in my life is become strong in my own way. I was lost for so long because the people I invested so much effort and love in had given up on me. It wasn’t just one person. It was many of them. And I never believed I deserved that but I hid myself away anyway instead of standing up for myself because I always wanted to be a neutral person. I hid myself away and took the resentment and blame upon myself, even when I knew it wasn’t mine to take on. I put blind faith into them because I was so sure that if they saw me sacrificing myself to ease their suffering, they would understand just how much I cared for them. In the end, I was wrong.

It’s when I felt the lowest that I learned who would come for me, the people who actually cared enough for my well being. In those times, I’ve begun to understand how selfish people may be. How easily they can switch on you if you have nothing to offer to them. Unfortunately, these were the people that I loved. The people that I thought would invest in me just as much as I had invested in them.

To this day, I am still lost. I am still finding my way back and making mistakes along the way. But I won’t lean on those I’ve come to understand will only do things for their own benefit. I will not give any of you that satisfaction of thinking I had given up completely because I know that I am much stronger than that. I am worth more than that. I have more love to give, even after this battle I’ve had to face for so long alone.

You may have broken me, but I will not stay broken. I never will. I will always find a way to piece myself back together, much stronger and much more resilient than before.

[lucmeva]

checking in.

I haven't written anything in months because I want my words to belong to someone who will appreciate them. I just haven't found that yet for myself, but I'm okay with it being like this for awhile.

[clarissavaughn-blog1]

I’d cut my soul into a million different pieces just to form a constellation to light your way home. I’d write love poems to the parts of yourself you can’t stand. I’d stand in the shadows of your heart and tell you I’m not afraid of your dark.

Andrea Gibson (via justmoo)

[wnq-writers]

I feel like I don’t really belong anywhere anymore. So if I don’t belong anywhere I should just go everywhere. Then I will travel, never really belonging anywhere as I already am.

Alexus Gonzalez (via wnq-writers)

[bennerdenbuldumseni-deactivated]

[megleanna21]

I need to escape from me

[lucmeva]

Greetings from Argentina! I do not have a medium account to comment but wanted to let you know that your first post was beautifully well written. Looking forward to watching you progress ;)

This honestly warms my insides so much, thank you! It’s a little mind-boggling to know someone so far away thinks it’s beautiful, so that makes me incredibly happy.

[lucmeva]

This was insanely good.

[foxmouth]

[clementinevonradics]

I pity the woman who will love you when I am done. She will show up to your first date with a dustpan and broom, ready to pick up all the pieces I left you in. She will hear my name so often it will begin to dig holes in her. That is where doubt will grow. She will look at your neck, your thin hips, your mouth, wondering at the way I touched you. She will make you all the promises I did and some I never could. She will hear only the terrible stories. How I drank. How I lied. She will wonder (as I have) how someone as wonderful as you could love a monster like the woman who came before her. Still, she will compete with my ghost. She will understand why you do not look in the back of closets. Why you are afraid of what’s under the bed. She will know every corner of you is haunted by me.

-Clementine von Radics (via clementinevonradics)

[lucmeva]

moving.

I’ve started to realize that I’m growing slowly uninterested in blogging via Tumblr, so I’ve decided to move most of my text-based musings to Medium. I will focus mainly on Tumblr for poetry, adventures, and interests like I had originally intended years ago. If you happen to have a Medium account, please add me as I would love to focus mainly on that site:

https://medium.com/@avemcul

[un-fetching]

[fivecathedrals]

He never broke my heart. He only turned it into a compass that always points me back to him.

Clementine von Radics, In Defense of Loving Him (after Megan Falley)

[aazhxra]

you will call me at 30 and i will hear your children in the background. they will not be mine. they will be the ones i’ve dreamed of.

i will imagine their caramel color of skin. and i will love them. because they have half of you and half of your heart.

knowing more of you is out there in the world to multiply becomes synthetic division in my head though i have never loved math.

you will ask me how i am doing and i will look down at the ring on my finger.

and it will not be yours. the realization will make me weak. i will inhale and say, “fine, how’s the wife” with every syllable out of my mouth concealing my jealousy. she is in my place. she is in the heart of who is in my heart.

you tell me fine. you do not mean this.

“i waited for you,” i want to cry. “i fucking waited for you,” but i replace this with “alhamdulilah.” what i mean is “how could Allah break a human soul like this.”

“thanks for answering. i think of you sometimes,” you tell me

and half believing it, i close my eyes and say “thank you”

what i mean is, “i love you. i waited for you. return to me some day. my heart has made a home for you, it’ll never be like you left.”

“goodnight,” you conclude

“i love you. wallah, i do.”

[kushandwizdom]

Shit…

[strawberrynostalgic-deactivated]