lucyfer @lucyllynx - Tumblr Blog

Saint Isaac’s Cathedral in Saint Petersburg, Russia. photo by @wowmew

Pierce the Veil is still the love of my life

#pierce the veil #vic fuentes #mike fuentes #tony perry #jaime preciado #the sky under the sea #disasterology #selfish machines #emo #punk #rock #rock n roll

Nirvana songs are erotic to the soul. RIP angel Kurt

#nirvana #90s music #rock #punk #grunge

furiousgoldfish

Sad I have to write this out, but abuse and trauma have zero benefits to anyone’s life. You can learn anything the kind way. You can become anyone the kind way. There is no reason whatsoever to traumatize you. Everything can be done without abuse.

If someone I trust and/or care about screams at me in anger, the way I cope is quite simple. I go to the bathroom, lock the door, and sit in the farthest corner I can (usually the shower), with my arms hugging my knees and my face buried. I wait for the pain to fade and try my best not to cry. They may knock and tell me to open the door, to come out, that they're sorry, but in that moment I seem to be frozen. I don't move. I am a child again, grasping for dear life at the little safe place I have left. Think of your happy place, the therapist said, think of your happy place. I almost forget where I am and I've been doing this on occasion since I was a little girl. Does it help? Somewhat, only temporarily. The words stick for as long as my mind wants them to.

#coping #emotional abuse #sad #mentally ill #shutting out

ew

No u <3

This is the only place I feel safe. No one knows me and I haven't embarrassed myself quite yet. I can't lie. I long for friends. No one will probably respond to this directly but I'm alright with being alone as I deserve. At least here, there are no familiar faces that spark pressure to be good and noticed and liked. There is no reputation attached to a name I loathe (myself). Only raw emotions, photographs, art, and everything in between.

#writers on tumblr #alone #lonely #appreciation

Yeah, I relapsed. I was only clean for the sake of pleasing others but I haven't a relationship to lose anymore, so why not? I don't have a reason not to do it anymore. I deserve to be hurt.

#self harm #dark #relapse #cutting

"I want love or death. But if I die, then everyone will love me, wouldn't they?"

-journal from 2018(?)

#depression #dark #suicide

I want to cut again. It's been 8 months, the longest I've gone since I started. If I do, people will be mad at me, the guilt will make me want to do it again, and from then on I won't be able to stop.

#selfharm #sad #help