ItāsĀ been a few hours, youāve just been hanging there. Youāve beenĀ quiet, too quiet. Usually thereās music playing, or your foot steps could be heard. But today, youāre quiet. Your little sister, who doesnāt normally come to greet you because you lock yourself away, decides to see what youāre doing. She assumes youāre taking a nap, or doing some homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, eager to see, but she comes to an immediate halt. Youāre not doing your homework, nor taking a nap. Your music isnāt playing and you arenāt walking around. Youāre hanging there, completely still, now just like her. At this moment, her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she was hanging with you.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say āFinally, theyāre gone.ā No, they will not say āIām happy they did that.ā No, they will not say āI never loved them anyways.ā They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. Theyāll believe itās all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they wonāt feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. Theyāll think of you ever second. Theyāll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. Theyāll wish they could die too. Theyāll want to give up, just to be with you. They wonāt be ever be happy again. They wonāt smile. They wonāt go back to their daily routine. Theyāll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. Theyāll think, but stay quiet. Theyāll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long itās been, theyāll wake up to thinking theyāll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know youāre gone forever.
Before you decide to take your life, think of your family,Ā buryingĀ you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. Itās supposed to be the other way around, but itās not. Theyāll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flowerĀ arrangements, and more; All for their childās funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didnāt need you, or didnāt care, are waiting in line to see you. They arenāt waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. Theyāre waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.
Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Donāt you dare say no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, wonāt have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, wonāt have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, wonāt have a sibling anymore. Your pet, wonāt have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, wonāt feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, wonāt have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didnāt yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that said you didnāt meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.
Before you decide to take your life, think. Donāt just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No oneās life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, wonāt have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but youāll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.Ā
If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:
My ask is open, and Iām always here. Iāll never judge you. Iāll try to help you.
If you are thinking of taking your life, call:
vaporwave
2087
stormborns
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
germansingergirl
romaincrisis
