▓│ ❛ stay away, homeboy. ❜

man there's a STAR bound to a body inside of me 20 million degrees, burn a man to his knees late at night in a hurry bought a mcflurry and half of an apple pie when I'm laughin' I'm  s a t i s f i e d, when I'm DYIN’, I'm still alive, strange position i'm in a good mood... so good i'mma kill that spider in spite of the kinda things they told me bein' ALONE don't mean that you LONELY alone means that you finally get it, admit it

[lukestew2-blog]

The cheers were loud and seeing all the guys run up and down the court only made Luke feel sick. It was a sight he hated, a sight he explained to Scarlett. Something he’d hoped he’d never have to be forced to watch again. Nothing against the guys actually playing, he just remembered those jerks. Those guys who took what they wanted from who they wanted and walked on streets paved of gold. The ones who held their heads high. Who hurt the only friend he had before leaving Wyoming.

He ached, and at this point, when the crowd stood when their team made a basket, Luke just kept sitting, earning him a few off glances. He just needed to get out. He mutters to Scarlett as he pushes through the group. The cheering grew softer and softer as everything else was quiet. Barely anyone was in the actual building outside the arena. Luke found his way to the stairwell, where it was quiet, and he took a seat on the steps. Pulling out his phone, he flipped through his contacts. 

The photos was years old at this point, but Marney looked vibrant and fun. She didn’t look to have pain behind her eyes, which Lucas knew now that she had. He hadn’t spoken to her in years. He didn’t even know if she had the same number. No texts, no calls, not even Facebook. Nothing. It was like they never knew each other. Right now, though, he ached for her voice and he wanted her to hold his hand and tell him they’d be alright. Like she did. That they were better than their fucking town and they’d make it out. That they’d be happy. Didn’t matter if it was together or not, they’d make it in their own ways. Luke just hated he never got to say the same things back to her. She needed it more than him.

He took the chance, he pressed the ‘call’ button and held his cell to his ear, leaning his head against the wall, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. He broke though, hearing her voice. Firmer, clearly older. “Luke?” She said, clearly shocked.

So he was still in her phone, too. “Hey, Mar.” He shakes, sniffing a little and rubbing his jaw. 

There was silence, and he didn’t know how she was reacting. If she was crying, too, or she was angry, or if she was happy. It was mutual. That they never talked again after he found out she was alive. Just barely. She left for treatment and he left for California before she’d gotten out. He just couldn’t take Wyoming without her. “Why you calling?” It might have been some time but she still slurred her words.

“This school... I got dragged to a basketball game. I can’t fucking stand it, Marney, and no one gets it. I can’t fucking watch them without wanting to yell. I’m so sorry.” He breaks. “I wanted to do more for you. If I’d known what they did to you I could have helped. I miss you so much. I’m so sorry.”

There’s another pause, and he wonders if she’s hung up. “I love you, Luke Stewart. I never stopped. Those fucking dicks on the court might have taken a part of me I’ll never get back but you got something far more important. You can be in Wyoming or fuckin’ Paris and in fifteen years you could suddenly call and you’d still have me. Don’t hate yourself, kid.” He hears a sniff from her, and he gives the slightest hint of a smile. “I did a lot of things wrong. We both did.”

Running his hand over his cheeks, he sighed. “I wish you were here, Mar. You’d love it. I mean, mostly I just want you back here for me, but still.” He laughs for himself. “Maybe we could have loved each other. Had it all been different.”

“We live like that, ‘n you’re left bitter, Luke. More than you already are. Don’t start thinkin’ like that. How is life... wherever you are?” She changed the subject, and he felt a weight lifted from his shoulders. It was so good just to hear her voice. To have her again. Like they were driving down the dark roads all over again.

[nicostraccia-blog]

Nico wasn’t trying to be malicious - not exactly, at least. He just thought that Luke really needed to lighten up. He wasn’t going to deal with the boy and his mood for the entire weekend when he already wasn’t too pleased about being in Sacramento himself. Nico instinctively quieted his playing slightly when Luke put his phone to his ear. He couldn’t help it - he was nosy. When he heard the name, Nico fumbled a chord, and his throat tightened. Scarlett? Why would Luke be talking to Scarlett? And calling her babe like that, so smug and pleased with himself, almost like he was intentionally trying to hurt Nico. Suddenly he needed a line - bad. “Fuck that,” Nico mumbled to himself, setting his guitar down and standing up from his bed quickly, leaving the hotel room with the slam of a door and not so much as a glance back at Luke.  

[lukestew2-blog]

     And Lucas--- his mother raised him better. But his mother also died, so where was she to present him from being petty as hell when it came to things like this? She wasn’t here, and all he had after she died was Marney and some fucking potheads from school. Marney was cold, rough, and knew how to hit where it hurt. He picked that up from her. Half of his brain was listening to the other end, and the other focused on Nico. He was storming out, and Nico watched him leave with the smallest hint of a smirk. At the slam, Scarlett inquired the sounds. “Nothing, Scar, no one of importance.” He quipped with a pleased smile, laying back on the bed. 

[scarlettmogensenold-blog]

Scarlett frowned when he said that life wasn’t good for him back at home. She brushed her nose against his lightly before giving him a small smile, trying her absolute best to reassure him. “But at your old school you didn’t have me.” She reminded him, placing a quick kiss on the tip of his nose with a smile. “I’ve made it my personal mission to make sure you have the best time at this game, and the rest of the school year for that matter.” Scarlett was used to being the optimistic one, the one that got everyone else back in gear when they were off track. She didn’t mind it so much, she just hoped that when the time came that she was off the rails, Luke would do the same for her. 

[lukestew2-blog]

     He’s got an arm wrapped around her and yeah, maybe it would have been better with Scarlett around. Probably not, though. Everything just kind of sucked back there. Life at his dad’s was rough, people at school was rough. He had Marney and maybe a sprinkle of friends here and there but when Marney overdosed, shit got worse and he’s pretty sure even Scarlett could help him with that. “Alright, I’m looking forward to it, my dear.” He said softly.

[scarlettmogensenold-blog]

“I’m sure that’s not the reason that people thought you were weird.” Scarlett teased Luke, leaning down and pressing a light kiss to his lips. Things had always been comfortable between them, but it had gotten even better since their relationship progressed. They hadn’t thrown any labels around, but Scarlett almost liked it better that way. She just liked being with him. When he explained why he didn’t like basketball, she sighed. “I know a few of the guys on the team, like Eli, he’s in my biology class. He’s a good person. Please give them the benefit of the doubt.” She said, running her fingertips along his jawline lightly. “Thank you for trying.”

[lukestew2-blog]

     He laughs softly, nodding to her words. “You’re right, it was more than just that.” He probably would have been good at basketball if he tried. He kind of looked like a guy who could be on the team. She had a way of making him chuckle and squeezing his heart and cradling it all at the same time. He didn’t really get it. “That’s not what it is, Scar,” He said quietly, looking her in the eyes. “It just makes me think of life back there. And life wasn’t great back there, princess.” He nudges his nose against her’s. “I came here to get away, and now I’m stuck in a hell that constantly reminds me of the pain of other’s, and the loss, and the fucking cruelties of other people.” He just thought of Marney. though of her laughing, or her crying, of her dying on the bathroom floor. “You’re welcome.” He says in a whisper, now avoiding her eyes at the thought of his past.

[lukestew2-blog]

olivia-eldrige:

“I just saw this restaurant that I thought you would like to try”, Olivia held her phone up, showing it to the boy. She wasn’t in the mood to hang out with her roommates and couldn’t find her friends, and Luke being a chef, it would be fun to hear him comment on food. “You shove a sock in my mouth and I’m kicking you in the shin”. 

     “Anything to get my out of here, I’m in.” He shut his suitcase and looked at Olivia, putting his hands into his pockets. “I wont shove a sock in your mouth if you pay.” He quipped, grabbing his phone. He loved going to eat, trying new foods and coming up with his own thoughts and opinions, even if he didn’t say them out loud to someone. Olivia seemed like a good partner for that, though.

[amystronghold]

“Basketball? Who knew such a work could send someone over the edge?” Amy questioned, careful not to make Luke any madder. “Promise, I won’t say anything. Not like I know much. We can talk about board games, something to get our minds off this long bus ride?”

[lukestew2-blog]

      “That’d be great, thanks. I just don’t wanna be here. Talking about anything else would be better, you know? Doesn’t have to be just board games.” He chuckled lightly at the suggestion.

[nicostraccia-blog]

Nico scoffed when Luke spoke. “Fine, man. Whatever,” he shook his head. He didn’t get Luke. He thought chefs were supposed to be happy-go-lucky and always offering to feed you - at least that’s how the whole part of his family who cooked were. Nico waited a moment before he decided not to be polite. He was going to do whatever he wanted to - why should he have to care about Luke? No one else was in the room, so Nico reached for his guitar, putting in one earphone and playing along to the song he was trying to learn. He made a point of playing a bit more loud and obnoxious than usual, just to piss Luke off. Just because he didn’t exactly condone violence didn’t mean he let people get away with acting like total assholes. 

[lukestew2-blog]

     Was he alone in acting like an asshole? No. Clearly not. Because there Nico was, playing his guitar like he s fucking pleased, louder than a guitar should be able to play. He was putting thing back into his suitcase, trying to just ignore it. Be the bigger person, Lucas. He kept telling himself over and over again. He hoped that it would just low over and he could go the fuck to sleep. Get the day over with and trudge through the next one. He wasn’t going to say anything. He sat down on the edge of his bed, back to Nico, and picked up his phone. But he had the (not so) brightest idea. The thought that maybe he could shut Nico the hell up and calm himself down at the same time. Dialing the phone, he put it up to his ear, and the sweet voice answered soon enough. “Hey Scarlett.” He tried to keep his voice down to it was as though he didn’t want to bother Nico, but loud enough to hear still. “You weren’t busy were you, babe? I can always call back later.”

[scarlettmogensenold-blog]

Scarlett smiled sadly when he apologized, leaning her forehead down on his chest when he came over to her. She leaned back, completely supported by his arms around her waist, looking up at him with a much brighter smile than the one he was sporting. “Why do you hate it so much? It’s a weekend trip away from school.” She said, shrugging her shoulders. Scarlett liked to look at situations like this with the glass half full. “I promise you’ll enjoy this weekend.”

[lukestew2-blog]

     He sighed, bringing a hand up to run through her hair. She was something bright in the moment of cloudiness. Whereas Luke has been filled with plenty of dimness, there was a blonde girl who was there to try and feed him positive. He was thankful. “I just don’t like it. And it’s being shoved down my throat. It was really big at my school back in Wyoming and if you didn’t like it, you were fucking weird. I don’t know, Scar, it just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. So many terrible people came from basketball back home.” Marney used to come crying to him because some guy grabbed her, wanted her, wanted to use her. They got away with so much. He just hated everything about it. “I’m gonna try to, alright? For you.”

[lukestew2-blog]

kameronshoreee:

Kameron looked around the hotel and then back at Luke. “Then don’t fucking go to the game! I’m not the one being an asshole because he didn’t get what he wanted. I came to help you because I thought you needed it but I guess not.”

     “I don’t need your help! Goddamn why can’t I be fucking angry for once?” He slams the door. “Just once, I want the right to get fucking pissed but people jump up my case and gotta invalidate my feelings.  Because there’s a twat out there trying to fuck my girl and I gotta sit here and cheer on a sport I don’t even fucking like and I can’t even use my one outlet of safety in this fucking hell hole! Don’t you fucking dare try and take this from me because that would just add to my shit list of this weekend.”

[nicostraccia-blog]

Nico rolled his eyes again at Luke’s comment, putting the phone back to his ear and listening to his sister tell him to beat up the idiot who she could hear treating him like a dick. “I’m not gonna do that, Cel,” he laughed into the phone. Nico hated fighting - he was always the one getting beat up - but he couldn’t help thinking that maybe Luke did deserve a punch or two. Nico didn’t even hear his grumbling, but he knew it had to be about him. When Luke returned from the bathroom, Nico was off the phone. “So, is this like, lights out time for you now? Cause it’s not even midnight and I hope you don’t expect me to go to sleep just cause you are.”

[lukestew2-blog]

     How could Scarlett even get dinner with this guy? Let alone be his friend? Good lord, Luke can’t stand him. His mother would tell him to breath, take himself away from the situation. He wanted to, and when he came back from brushing his teeth, he thought he had, but Nico just kept talking. He stopped, giving an incredulous look. “Why the fuck would I care what you do?” As long as it didn’t pertain to Scar, he could not care less what Nico did. He was a twat. A total, complete dick-wad. 

[scarlettmogensenold-blog]

Scarlett was tuck up in Luke’s room, rambling something about how she’d seen a flyer in the hotel lobby about a club downtown. She thought that they could go and have a good time, since he’d been in bad spirits since leaving for the trip, but the idea was proving to be of little use. “There’s no need to be an ass, Lucas.” She told him bluntly. “It was just a suggestion. If you don’t want to go, I’ll leave.”

[lukestew2-blog]

     He didn’t really know what exactly was making him so bitter about being here. He just thought all of this was dumb. But he was blessed to have Scarlett around. “I’m sorry,” He sighed, stopping to walk over to her, kissing the top of her head. “I’m just... I don’t know, I just hate this whole thing. I’m really glad you’re here.” He was happy to have her--- to be here to call him out on his shit, or just provide company so he wont hurt himself or someone else (not that that was actually a problem, but still). “You make it a little less rough.”

[kameronshoreee-deactivated20160]

Kameron smiled at him. “Kinky.” He helped him look through the suitcase. It was much better than actually going to his hotel room and laying in bed for the rest of the day. “I don’t want to be here either, okay? I’m pretty sure a lot of people don’t but do you know why most of these people are, other than being forced? For their good friend Elijah. So, if you’re still like this by tomorrow, I suggest you suck it up and cheer for the team. They worked hard to get here.”

[lukestew2-blog]

     Good friend Elijah? Why should he gie a rat’s ass about Elijah? What’s he to him? A classmate. Elijah seems like the kind of guy who would get it; being forced into something and just wanting out. Everyone’s pissing him off right now. Luke snapped the suitcase shut so Kameron could pull his hands away. “Fuck off, man. Everyone works hard for everything. You think I get a fucking school bus for my competitions? Fuck no. Most people don’t. I shouldn’t have to subject myself to this shit. I can’t fucking stand being around all these people.” He huffs, turning around to the door. “Seriously dude, if you’re gonna be a prick, just leave.” He opens the door for Kam to go. “Or I’ll fucking kick you out.”

[nicostraccia-blog]

Nico wasn’t too happy about having to bunk with three people who weren’t Theo. Theo let him get high, play his guitar, and sing until all hours of the morning. But he couldn’t do any of those things in this particular room, and it was making him more than a bit irritable. He was laying in bed on the phone with his sister, watching Luke rummage through his things out of the corner of his eye. He noticed how frustrated the boy looked, but he ignored it - because he almost felt the same. “So we’re in Sacramento for this basketball tournament-” he was cut off by Luke. Nico furrowed his brows and tilted the speaking end of the phone away from his face. “I’m not even fucking talking to you, man. Cool it,” he rolled his eyes. 

[lukestew2-blog]

     If Luke were a fighting man, he’d punch Nico in the face every time he saw him. Unfortunately, Luke is a mature individual, who tends not to result in violence when it comes fights. Or anything. He had no idea how they ended up in the same room together, it was as thought some higher power wanted to make his miserable. God he was indigestible. “We’re still in the same fucking room,” He mumbles, “Still gotta listen to your shit.” He says even quieter, just to himself when he finds his bag, walking over to the bathroom sink and mirror. This was going to be rough.

[lukestew2-blog]

         Lucas didn’t even have the intention of being here today. He was just dragged last minute and now he’s digging in his suitcase to find his damn toiletry bag so he can brush his teeth and go to bed. The other in the room, however, just kept talking. “Listen,” He straightened. “I don’t even wanna fucking be here right now and I think basketball is fucking stupid, so if I hear that world from your mouth again I’m going to shove a sock in your mouth.” He huffed, going back to digging in his suitcase.

[scarlettmogensenold-blog]

Scarlett wasn’t trying to bring the atmosphere down, she just wanted to let him into an aspect of her life that she’d already known about him. As much as she could let him know, anyways. She was confident in the way that she’d portrayed her family, as though they were normal. “Okay.” She chuckled lightly when he told her to tell him something upbeat. She couldn’t quite think of a specific instance, so she just started spouting out little bits about herself. She was sure that he’d figure them out anyways, with time. Scarlett was just aiding the process. “My favorite scent is coconut, but I hate the taste.” She figured she’d start with that, since he was a chef and all. “I’m an awful singer. I really, seriously hope that you never have to hear that mess, for both of our sakes.” Scarlett grinned. “But, I am a decent painter, and I can sew. Which will come in handy, since I see those buttons on your shirt breaking off in the near future.” Scarlett added in cheekily. She brought her knees up to rest on the glove box, fully content in her usual seat. She was distracted by her spiel when the truck made a sudden turn. “Are you still dead set on not telling me where it is that we’re going?” She smiled over at him. Luke was stubborn one, so she was sure he’d be no different with this. Part of her loved the anticipation. 

[lukestew2-blog]

       He liked hearing about her. The things she was good at, the things she wasn’t. Luke wouldn’t have minded hearing those more melancholy facts, but this was a date, meant to be light and happy. It would be something for another time. He laughed at the mention of her singing, and only nodded, “Alright, alright, sounds good, I will never subject you to singing.” Mentioning the buttons on his shirt, he looked down at the flannel, raising an eyebrow. He didn’t even really notice, but good thing she was around. His mother tried to teach him how to sew but he’d just keep poking his fingers so he gave up and she never tried again. He takes another turn onto a smaller dirt road. They’re getting closer to the desert. Flat planes and their only worry being snakes. Or something. He didn’t go often but he thought it’d be cool. “If I tell you, it wont be a surprise, Scarlett.” He says, as if it’s so obvious. “Just contain yourself, we’ll be there soon.”

[oliver-davenport-deactivated201]

“So you couldn’t even manage a “welcome back Davenport. It’s brilliant to see you mate. London did you well”? Right, we’ll give it another go. I’ll walk in again, and you attempt to be a bit more articulate this time round mate.” 

[lukestew2-blog]

     “Shit, man, " Luke lets out a chuckle. “You just got here, I was gettin’ to it.”

[scarlettmogensenold-blog]

Scarlett knew that the questions about her life were bound to come, especially when they were on the subject of family, and she decided in that instant that she wasn’t going to lie to him. She simply wasn’t going to tell the whole truth. She had a good thing going with Luke, and she didn’t want it to be ruined because of her status. While she was truly blessed, Scarlett saw the life she was born into as more of a burden than anything else. “My parents are, well… my parents.” She shrugged her shoulders. She tried to think of a way to make them sound as uninteresting as possible, but it was difficult. They were the King and Queen of Denmark after all. “I don’t really see them as much as I’d like to, they’re both really caught up in their jobs which are really important to them, so I understand.” She said. “When I was little, we all used to be much closer. I have two older brothers.” She explained to Luke, smiling fondly when she thought of the brothers back home that she missed so much. “I remember, for my eighth birthday, my parents both got the whole day off of work and they said that I could choose to do whatever I wanted. I chose to have a picnic. My dad and I both cooked for everyone, and my mum and brothers taught me different card games. We ate outside in this beautiful garden on the property…” She drifted off. “I think that was the last day we were all really together.”

[lukestew2-blog]

       It sounded familiar. He knew what that was like; the absence, the understanding of the absence, the want for more. Wishing to be more of a priority. The loss of his mother was like the loss of both parents. His dad wasn’t around much when his mom was alive, but they were still a family. They were still close. Now it was all cold. He wasn’t going to turn this back on him, though, he wouldn’t bring that up. But she should have already kind of known. The night he broke down in front of her, maybe that was her clue. “I’m sorry.” He kept his eyes on the road, “We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” He didn’t want their first date to be sad stories of their lack of love from the people whose only job was to give you love. “Tell me something more... upbeat, about yourself.” He tapped a single finger against the steering wheel, watching as the houses and places grew further apart, and the life around them was growing dryer. This was his favorite area.