Letter to My Body
Dear Her,
They say that I don’t love you, that because I played with trucks too much when I was five, or because I grew up playing with the boys or because of that time in the basement with all the lights turned off and the muffled whimpers, that I hate you and I want you to die.
This is not true.
I love you.
You are a beautiful lie that people love to tell over and over,
“woman”
“lady”
“girl”
“her”
You are a beautiful lie. You are nothing truthful, you are nothing honest, you are nothing yes.
People perpetuate you because you are easier to swallow than the ugly, messy truth.
“she-male”
“tranny”
“delusional”
“it”
You, woman turned entrapment, beauty turned facade, body turned prison,
you didn’t lock me in here.
You are the jail cell, but you are not the keeper of the keys
Someday, you will be gone.
After the pills and the surgeries and the legal details, after the introductions and pronouns and the binding, you will be gone.
Even after the very first time, that quiet conversation, the letter left on the kitchen counter, the facebook post, the big reveal, you will start to fade.
There is no way for us to both go on existing together forever, so someday, I will be free and you will be gone.
And I want you to know that I will never forgo you.
I will never pretend you were just a prison sentence, and not also a home,
I will not be embarrassed by the parts of you that linger on.
I will not forget my experiences within you.
I will never recount you as ugly or unlovable.
I will never say I hated you.
#love #loveislove #LGBTQ #nohate #testosterone #vitaminT #trans #transman #transgender #transitioning #instalike #support #loveyourself #transofig #ftm #femaletomale #transguy #lgbt #lesbian #lesbiansofig #gay