she/her, 22 flash fiction, writing advice, excerpts, and fanfics. this is my home for escapism and all the ideas in my head. i have a minor in creative writing and i love the way words can give us little worlds to live in.
Possible mentions of anything from season one and two of Euphoria-
-cw: drugs, drug dealer, pining, self-love at the end of the chapter!! NSFW!!
-1,000+ words, unedited
midterms in college are hard but here’s this
The sun had fallen below the horizon, washing the café in deep violets as Lexi straddled her bike, her journal safely tucked in the basket on the front.
Fez’s chest felt tight as he leaned against the window outside the café, the lights off. Ash was waiting for him in the car after he saw her off but seeing her soft cheekbones and delicate figure illuminated by the street light, fear crept into his stomach.
“I should get going.” She offered a smile, flicking her dark hair over her shoulder. Fez knew he should just nod and let her go off. But all he could think about was the sick fucking people that are out there. People didn’t know how to respect a lady. His blood was cold at the thought.
“You wanna ride, ma?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s gettin’ dark.”
Lexi tilted her head, her nose scrunching. “I do it all the time.”
He wanted to vomit.
“There are weird people out there.” He said. Please. Just take the ride.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a-,” before she could finish, he was off the wall, his hand on her pink handlebar. She was a few inches shorter than him, her dark eyes glittering with his reflection. The air between them was still besides her shudder breath.
“It’s more for me than you,” He grinned back at her. She rolled her eyes and got of the bike with an exaggerated humph. He began rolling her bike behind the café and she stopped him, looking up at him. The light made her look ethereal (that was a word she liked to use in her book), a halo of a yellow glow illuminated her as she raised to her tippy-toes, her lips barely skimming his ear as she murmured out a thank you. His cheeks burned as she returned to walking, her eyes trained on the car.
She didn’t kiss him but the energy of her lips that close to his skin made him feel electrified. He ushered her to get in the car as he hooked the bike to the trunk. The irrational part of him wished it would slide off and he could run it over. Stupid fucking bike.
——
Lexi slid in the backseat, behind the passenger door. The kid in the front whipped around, his eyebrows furrowed and a pout that felt out of place with his face tattoos.
“The fuck are you doing here?”
Lexi almost laughed. He was a kid and it all felt absurd. But she kept a straight face.
“Fez said he didn’t want me to bike home.” She could hear the clattering of Fez trying to tie her bike up. The kid turned around with a huff and a quiet fuck.
“Your name’s Ash, right?” She tried before she heard Fez finish clattering around with the bike. The kid looked straight ahead.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He muttered as Fez opened the door, sitting in the front seat.
— —
Fez shot Ash a look as soon as he got in the car. Fez always knew when Ash was being a brat, and Ash hated that he did, because it made him feel bad. His disappointed look when he got in made him want to roll his eyes. He hadn’t even done anything.
“We’re gonna give Lex a ride home.” Fez finally said, breaking the silence as he put the car into reverse.
“Obviously.” Ash muttered to himself.
The girl in the backseat shifted uncomfortably. She should be. It was Fez and Ash, not Fez and some other bitch.
Fez turned on the radio, a song filling in the spaces of their talking. Good. Ash didn’t want to talk to the girl behind him.
——
The car ride was quiet until Ash recognized a song, mumbling along to a song. Lexi watched as Fez looked in the review, a smile on his lips. The kid was aggressive but just a kid. Fez began singing along with the song and Ash shot him a look, trying to sing over him.
They went back and forth and Lexi watched it, holding her breath. Their interaction was so pure- like how she and Cassie used to be. Fez’s scrunched face as he sung out a song she’d never heard before, all to make his brother feel better. It made her feel warm and fuzzy.
The car slowed into her driveway and she got out. Fez rolled down Ash’s window, leaning over. The younger boy looked annoyed but not pissed.
“Goodnight, Lex.” He called after her, and she waved as she began towards her door.
“Goodnight, Fezco. Goodnight, Ash.”
It could have been the light, but as Lexi stepped into her doorframe she thought she saw Ash smile a little as Fez waved.
——
The car was silent after Fez rolled up the window and began driving away, looking at his brother.
“We cool?” He finally asked. The kid looked at him.
“You not gonna forget that I was here first, right?” Fez smiled, putting his hand on Ash’s shoulder.
“Never. You’re family, man.”
Ash smiled finally.
“We cool.”
——
The rest of the ride had been uneventful and after his shower, Fez crawled into bed.
The moonlight came through the window, covering the floor in indigo. His skin drug against the sheets as he laid under the covers, hands under his head as he looked at the ceiling.
His thoughts were on a constant loop of Lexi Howard and her perfect smile and her ridiculous sweater vests and how well she pulled them off.
He wanted to pull them off.
The thought alone had his heart racing and his thin chain slide across his freckled, bare chest.
He wanted to worship her. On his knees, with devotion for her and only her. The thought made him hard and his cheeks flush from shame. He shouldn’t think about her like that, but there was something so intoxicating about her- a dark web of mystery just behind the walls she put up. Fez wanted to see Lexi Howard with no walls left up and using the power she had over him. He felt twisted for thinking it.
The image of her in just his shirt, sitting on his bed whole he looked up at her while kneeling circled viciously in his head. The way she could turn him to putty under her fingertips. His hand reached into his boxers, his dick already hard. He wanted her. He wanted her to want him with the same intensity. His skin was hot as he flicked his wrist repeatedly, thoughts trailing. The idea of her hands wrapped around him instead of his own made him groan, pleasure flickering in his stomach.
The way his skin lit up when she barely whispered in his ear was excruciating. Desire made his chest tighten. Lexi Howard with her hand around his throat as she kissed him was the image he lost himself to. The hot remnants splattered against his thigh and stomach and he felt flooded.
Lexi Howard was better than any drug and Fez really liked her.
-Mentions of events that happened in Season two, episode seven and prior-
-sorry this took so long, i was crying over the season finale-
CW: mutual pining, drugs, Fez hates Lexi’s stupid bike (credit @euphoricfez for idea)
Fez liked a lot of things about Lexi Howard. He liked her long dark hair and her sweaters. He liked the way she talked and worked on a schedule- everything was planned and organized. He liked the color her cheeks would turn if he caught her gaze when he had been busy. He really liked when she smiled, especially at him. It was one of those smiles that drowned out the world and made him feel secure.
He did not, however, like her bike.
Lexi rode to the café after school, kicking down the kickstand with a solid motion at 4:15, like always. Fez saw her and his hand ran over the cover of the journal.
He hadn’t intended on reading it when he noticed it on his seat. He figured her work was a secret and drove back to pick up Ash. Ash had asked him what the fuck it was and he just took it and sat it on his lap, changing the subject. But when he was climbing in bed, his pajama bottom’s had caught the corner of it, bringing it off of the side-table. It had landed on it’s spine, opening- almost begging him to read the contents. He wasn’t a strong reader, but something about the way Lexi wrote drew him in, in-depth details and words strung together made the time slip from him until he closed the notebook, two hours gone.
Fez glanced up just as she began to dismount. She was wearing a striped blue sweater and black flare pants, and as she swung her leg, the leg caught on the seat and she stumbled before hitting the ground, the bike tumbling after. Her hair bounced and she looked surprised, but not hurt. Just as he stepped forward to help her, she shook her head and stood up, swiping her hands over her knees before setting the bike back up.
She looked up, the light catching behind her and she waved. A hundred tiny butterflies began flapping in his stomach as he waved back.
“I got your book here, shawty.” He said as she came through the door, a small bell twinkling above her head. Lexi smiled and met him at the counter. He slid over the journal and handed her drink, her chai latte with one pump of vanilla.
Her hands grazed his and a hundred more butterflies flooded his stomach.
“Thanks for keeping it safe.” She reached in her pocket, retrieving her wallet. He waved his hand before she could and she looked up at him with deep, curious eyes.
“It’s on the house.” Her eyebrows furrowed and her lips morphed into a half pout, half smile at his words.
“That’s no way to run a business.” Her voice was airy and she smiled, pulling out the usual change, dropping it into the tip jar before Fez could protest. He felt like his head was going to explode from the words he wanted to say. He wanted to ask her about her book, talk to her about the story.
But what if she hadn’t wanted him to read it?
“Did you read it?” Almost like she read his mind, she tapped on her journal.
—
Lexi had done a lot of thinking on the ride over. A dilemma had crossed her mind and it felt like it had been looped, consuming her thoughts. Part of her wanted Fez to read the notebook and share what he thought. The other, much larger part was terrified he would hate it and think she was gross, so it would be better if he hadn’t. When she asked, his skin paled ever so slightly and he nodded like he thought he was going to be scolded.
“Did you like it?”  Maddy had once told her that confidence was the key to life and nobody could tell if it was real- and she was testing it.
His face melted into a soft smile and he nodded again, more sure this time.
“For sure, ma. Shit goes hard.”
—
Ash could see them on the monitors. Between regulars, he would catch the two of them, Lexi leaning on the counter, deep in conversation. A scowl sat deep on his face, arms crossed. He didn’t know who this white girl was who made Fez look so giddy and fuckin’… soft, but he wasn’t having it. The kid rose to his feet, leaving the back of the café and propping the door open. He stuck his head out and watched them, the girl smiling and Fez talking with his hands. His guard was down.
In this business, being soft meant being dead.
“Fezco.” He called into the shop, only the two of them- customers having come and gone without sitting. Both heads turned towards him and Ash gestured for him to come here. “Get the fuck over here.”
The ginger stuck up a finger to the girl and she went to take her seat as he half-jogged back to the kid.
“What, bro?” His voice still had a lining of calm, but a tinge of concern broke through. Ash led him back into the backroom, closing the door and crossing his arms.
“Who’s the bitch?”
“Don’t call her a bitch. That’s Lexi.” Fez retorted, crossing his arms too.
“Why she around so much?” It was different. Ash was Fez’s business partner and his little brother- he was used to getting his attention- solely. Now, his attention was on…her.
“Don’t worry about it, she cool.” Fez looked through the window in the door at the girl. Ash got more frustrated.
“You’re being fucking soft.” He snapped, kicking a box on the ground.
Fez reached over, rubbing Ash’s head- despite his protests.
“Sometimes, you ain’t gotta choice but to be soft. You’d like her if you talked to her.”
Yeah. Right.
Fez shrugged.
“Keep yo eyes on the cameras and lemme know if you need anything.” He said as he pushed on the door, reentering the café. Ash scoffed and fell into the chair in front of the monitors, scowling as Fez went and sat with the girl- only getting up when a customer came in, returning after the transaction.
-Mentions of events that happened in Season two, episode five and prior-
CW: pining, drug use, legit idiots in love but like with coffee!
Fez had swept, mopped, and turned of the café’s open sign before he circled to the back of the store. Ash was watching the security monitors, a bowl of cereal balanced on his knee and a joint on the table.
“Are you smoking?” Fez gave him that look of slight disapproval. “At the shop? You serious?”
“Ain’t no one coming in and you about to leave.” Ash shot back, searching for a lighter. Fez sighed, watching the rain pour down on the monitors. He reached in his pocket and tossed him his lighter.
“Whatever, just be cool. I’ll probably be back in like twenty but I’ll let you know when I’m heading back home.” Fez said, turning to look back. Lexi was still furiously writing, in her own world.
“Yea, whatever, just lock the front door when you leave. I ain’t want no fuckin’ addicts coming through that way.” Ash lit the joint, taking a long drag. The kid would be the death of him.
“Love ya, little man.” Fez tossed over his shoulder as he reentered the café. Ash said something smartass back in response as the door shut behind Fez. It was just him and her. She looked up when the door shut, waving as she closed her notebook and put her pen behind her ear before standing. He met her at the door. Her long hair bounced when she walked and Fez took off his apron, hanging it on the hook next to the door.
“You ready, ma?”
--
Her stomach was in warm little knots every time Fez called her ma. She knew it’s just how he talked- he was just being nice to her, probably because Rue and Cassie were friends. Were. She wondered briefly if he knew about that entire fiasco. He was tall, comparatively speaking. He was a whole head taller than her, but that thought had her daydreaming about laying her head on his shoulder.
“Yea, I’m ready.” She held tightly to her notebook as her eyes raked over his outfit. He was wearing a loose, striped polo shirt with baggy jeans.
“Do you wanna like borrow a jacket or somethin’?” He asked unhurriedly. “I got one in the back.”
Lexi’s mind raced to the green sweater that he had peeled off on New Years eve, the one he had forgotten besides her as he left, blood on his hand. The one that was hanging in her closet that she wanted to give back every time she came in, but had never figured out the right time. Her cheeks flushed with color and she shook her head.
“I should be okay, but thank you.” Fez watched her for a second, a half smile still on his face.
“Are you sure? It’s no problem, Lex.”
“It’s okay, I just have to head home. I didn’t realize what time it was and I don’t want to freak my mom out.” Her mom was definitely asleep in front of the television, some drama reality tv show on and an empty bottle of wine by the remote. She didn’t want to lie. She loved being in the café and by extension, around Fez. She didn’t know why, but when she was around him, her brain went into over drive- thinking about so many solutions to plot holes and dialogue tags that just made more sense.
--
They both ran out to his car, which he unlocked from the door. He locked the front door of the café and they sprinted to the car. She sat in the passenger seat, closing the door behind her as Fez got in.
“Weather’s fuckin’ wild.” He murmured as he shut the door. Her notebook hadn’t gotten wet under her sweater and she removed it from the cotton, sitting it on her lap. Fez started the car. As the lights dimmed, she couldn’t help her gaze from lingering on him- the exposed freckles on his arms and the silver chain around his throat that hid in the collar of his shirt. He pulled from the parking lot and she told him how to get to her house. The car went quiet and he turned on the radio, a hip hop song filling the air. The car was a small, four door that smelled like weed and Fez’s cologne with tan, faux-leather seats. She clicked her seat belt on and he did the same as he turned onto the road. After a few minutes of music and rain hitting the windshield, Lexi turned her knees towards Fez to fully look at him. He noticed and turned the radio down.
“Why a café?” She asked after a moment and she watched his eyebrows knit together for a second.
“It’s doing better than the store was and we wanna keep it lowkey. Ash and I had a raid not too long ago and we’re trying to play it straight so police don’t get involved. We’ve transferred to mainly just selling weed.” The last sentence was quiet, like he didn’t plan on saying it. His eyes flit to her face for a second before going back to the road.
“That’s fair. I like the café.” She resolved and sat back, Her hands toyed with the hem of her sweater and she lost anything else to say.
“Can I ask you a question, shawty?” His eyes were on the road and he was leaning back. She wish she had the confidence and self-assurance that he exuded. She nodded. “What do you write about? I always see you going like a hundred miles an hour writin’.”
The question made her stomach drop a little. She wrote a lot and nobody seemed to question it- like they didn’t even notice, swept up in their own shit storm. Everything had been so crazy lately that writing was a solace, something she could confess into a void and nobody had to know about it. It wasn’t a secret by any stretch but it was hers.
“It’s just a silly story about these two fantasy characters who fall in love during a war. It’s a dark fantasy thing.” She explained, fingers splaying out on her lap and clenching again.
“That sounds cool as fuck.” He pulled into her driveway. The lights in her house weren’t on- Cassie probably out and Mom probably in the living room. “I’d love to know more.”
--
Fez sat in her driveway for almost an hour and a half, his eyes following Lexi as she excitedly talked about characters and a war and how she wanted to end the story, flicking her hair back. He had never heard something so passionate and he thought the entire concept was cool as hell. He would ask her a question anytime she would stop or go quiet, a brief look of anxiety taking hold on her face before he spoke. Then she would melt back into conversation. Her laugh twinkled in the space of his car, rain slowing as they sat.
“I guess I should head in.” She said after a moment, tucking her hair behind her ear. The clock on the dashboard read just after eleven and she smiled at him, with her handle. “Thank you for the ride.”
“Anytime, Lex. I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice rumbled in her chest and after a second of contemplation, she kissed his cheek and opened the door, getting out with the same movement. Her cheeks were light up a golden pink in the yellow light of his car.
“Bye, goodnight.” She said as she went to close the door.
“Goodnight.” He replied before the door closed. She half-ran to the door, waving at him when she made it, opening the door.
He pulled out of her driveway as she closed the door, leaning against it, hands covering her face. Why did she kiss him? She really wanted to- with the way he listened to her and made her feel so singularly special. But it was Fez. He was just being nice and she had leaned over. Lexi started up the stairs to her room. Cassie was out, meaning the room was hers. She pulled the green sweater out of her closet. His cologne was still strong on it, engulfing her as she sat on her bed with it, holding it in her hands. Her phone dinged and she pulled it from her pocket. It was a photo and a message from Fez.
Her notebook was on his dashboard. Under the image was a message.
“Thanks for letting me drive you home. You forgot your notebook. I’ll keep it safe and give it back when you come in tomorrow. G night.”
Her heart jumped in her throat. She did not want Fez to read her story. When she had described it to him, she had left out the exceptional amount of sexual tension she had woven into the story between the characters. No one had ever read it but her. She wanted to keep it that way. If she told him that, he would probably read it just to spite her. Would he? She didn’t know. So she sent back:
“good night :)”.
Then she fell back onto her bed, holding his green sweater, letting herself be enveloped in the smell and her thoughts.
-Mentions of events that happened in Season two, episode five and prior-
CW: pining, legit idiots in love but like with coffee!
Lexi Howard came to the café everyday for one chai tea latte with a pump of vanilla and find the seat beside the window unoccupied, sitting there as she wrote in a notebook. She occupied her little corner quietly, accompanied by earbuds and her chai tea latte. Fez was in charge of running the café while Ash worked in the back, dealing with regular customers. The police never paid attention to the café, even though Fez owned it. It’s entire aesthetic was in complete contrast with Fez, but business- both businesses- were flourishing.
He served her daily drink and she’d always smile so brightly, dropping her change- $2.50 off of $5- into the tip jar. The way she gave him those small glimpses made Fez’s stomach flutter. He liked her routine and the way her fingers would every so often brush his as she took her drink.
She came in tonight, hair slightly damp as she closed an umbrella. A thunderstorm had rolled in and it had been a slow day. A smile rose to his lips and she looked up, returning the smile. Fez paused, slightly embarrassed she caught him.
“Lexi Howard, how can I help ya?” He greeted her and she came to the counter. She was in a red sweater with little black stars embroidered into the crew neckline, paired with a black skirt and black tights.
“Just a chai latte.”
“With a pump of vanilla?” Was it weird he remembered her order? She smiled and the panic left him.
“Yea, thanks.” She already had a five in her hand.
“The weather’s wild.” He said as he rang in her order and she nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I bet not many people came in,” She passed him the cash and his hands were slightly shaking. He really thought she was cool. “At least not for coffee.” She said as an after-thought and her cheeks immediately paled. “Sorry.”
The laugh started in his chest and it expanded, warm. She relaxed when she watched his face. He passed her the change.
“Ma’s got jokes, huh?” He grinned and she blushed, dropping the change in the tip jar, the coins making a twinkling against the glass jar.
“I’ll get your drink.”
“Thanks.” She said sheepishly and her cheeks were almost as red as her sweater. Fez’s stomach fluttered.
—
She found her seat and he brought it to her instead of calling her name. No one else had come in and she was deep in thought, her hand working quickly as she wrote line after line. Her head was bobbing to a song he couldn’t hear when he approached. He stood there for a second and she didn’t look up. Nervously, he swallowed thickly and tapped her shoulder. Lexi jumped, yanking out her earbuds. She startled him and they both said sorry at the same time before taking each other in. She laughed first and he followed.
“Sorry, I just have your drink.” Fez said after a second. He was wearing an apron with a name tag with his name. She took in his freckle and his half-grin.
She took it.
“Thanks, Fez.”
“Any time, ma.” He returned to the counter. His cheeks were burning and he felt like he was in school again, distracted by little crushes and pretty girls who didn’t think he was dumb. He wondered if Lexi thought he was dumb. He didn’t think so.
He was just glad she came in everyday.
—
She sat in the corner, hyper focused. Time felt irrelevant and she was deep in thinking. The plot was finally coming together, the characters were at the climax of the story. This would decide how they would think and feel about each other for the rest of the story. She was writing a dark romance story, something she had been thinking about since writing her play. Corruption, betrayal, lovers- the story had it all and it felt so immersive, thoughts of her main characters popping into her head through the day. She was inspired and the café felt like the perfect place to write- out of her house, Cassie’s seemingly never-ending drama and her mom trying to fight it, she couldn’t focus. Plus, she got to see Fez. He had a cute apron that felt weirdly in place on him.
How the man who made her drinks and asked her about her day with such genuine enthusiasm was the same one who beat Nate Jacobs within inches of his life, Lexi didn’t know if she could wrap her head around it.
She liked his humor and how he smiled a lot when he looked at her. She wanted to talk to him, like they had on New Years eve. But it felt weird. She didn’t want to annoy her and her insecurities ate at the forefront of her thoughts about Fez.
She ignored it and poured herself into the story. The main character was fighting with their enemy- taking in their lips and how their breaths were catching, and they felt familiar. They were kissing and her hand sped to write down her ideas.
A cough broke through the music of her earbuds and she paused the music, looking up at Fez. His cheeks were splattered in freckles and down his throat, cut off by the collar of his shirt.
“Hey, we’re about to close up but you can chill here. I just gotta clean.”
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what time it was.” She sat up, collecting her pen and phone.
“It ain’t no thing, take your time, shawty. You’re always welcome in here, you’re cool.” Her cheeks filled with color at his comment and she melted a little bit. The rain was still coming down hard outside and it was dark, the sun setting hours again. How didn’t she notice? He started heading back to the counter to grab a broom.
“Are you sure? I can head out.” Her words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them, cringing internally. How would she keep her notebook dry in this? It was fine.
“Nah, I’ll drive you home if you want. The weather’s crazy.” He was nonchalant and she nodded.
“I’d like that. If you’re sure it’s not a problem.” She didn’t want to make him go out of his way for her. She didn’t live that far away.
“Ain’t nothin’ a problem for you, Lex.” He smiled back at her, starting to clean. She relaxed into the chair, turning her attention back to her story.