[lumerion]

I wanna know if you change what your profile is, if it changes what matches you can get. Can’t anyone confirm?

[lumerion]

Dan singing that “maybe this is where it ends” in the background of the final chorus in Bad Decisions reblog if u agree

[william-snekspeare]

"When you're in your bee suit and you feel sweat running down your back, that's fine. If you feel sweat running up your back, that's a bee"

-Some beekeeping advice my mom gave me today

[lumpawaroospaceprincess-moved-d]

I thought “bee suit” meant like a bee costume until I read the word beekeeping

[firstburrn]

Me @ Historians when they try to say everyone is straight:

[pinkisbitter]

My mattress is strapped to eight roombas and I leave all my doors open at night so the roombas can go where they want to. I wake up where they want me to be. I trust their decisions.

[postscribed]

what you say: tru

what I hear: True Jackson VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience

[9km]

got milk bitch? 🥛🍼😶 got beef? 😠👊🥩got steak ho? got cheese?👀🧀  grade 🅰️ ho, not lean 😳❌ got me a1, sauce please 😫 these heifers got nothin’ on me 💁‍♀️ steaks high, 🥩⬆️need a side of collard greens 🥗 ca💲h 💰🤑💸 rules everything 🌎🔁 around me 😋 ice cream🍦😛 ice cream 🍨😝 you a calf bitch 🐄, you ma daughter 🤱i ain’t bothered 🤷‍♀️ get slaughtered 🔪 got the methane, i’m a farter🍑💨 with my farmer 👨‍🌾 mcdonald 🍟 and they feed me real good, it’s a honor 😔 philly cheesesteak all in that order, chili cheese fries as a starter🌶🍟 got the steroids 💉 keeping me stronger 😉💪 bitch im a cow, bitch im a cow, i am not ⛔️ a cat 🐱, i dont 🙅‍♀️🚫😤 say meow 🔇🤬😾 bitch im a cow, bitch im a cow 🐄❤️🐮

[twitterlols]

[magicalinspo]

take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth, and get back up on your feet. you still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong.

[ginger-ale-official]

Me getting up from the chair at the dentist after a quadruple root canal

[mysticmoonhigh-deactivated20211]

Your response has nothing to do with ginger ale

[ginger-ale-official]

and your response doesn’t have anything to do with being the biggest clown on the block but here we are again

[thorffour-deactivated20190920]

[untuckedqueens]

[lord-kitschener]

99 Luftballons is German despacito

[cinnabargirl]

Das ist so traurig. Alexa, spiel 99 Luftballons.

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Air conditioning is just domesticated wind

[tonysaintborgi]

i fucking hate this because it’s right

[zagreus]

Come On And Slam And Eat A Plate Of Ham

[spicybakery]

i’m vegan

[zagreus]

Come On And Slam And Eat A Fucking Yam

[tittiesweat-deactivated20181123]

EN GARDE, THOT 🤺

[dutchster]

snakes never visit a restaurant because they don’t have any fingers to point at the words they can’t pronounce on the menu

[inabasket]

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.