Note Of Me @lunkzarista - Tumblr Blog

Something in my head wants to intentionally being useless

Sumpah gue capek banget hidup. Tiap malem sebelum tidur selalu nanya "ini kapan matinya dah". Lama amat. Udah bingung mau ngapain lagi di dunia ini.

A decade. Wow...

Napa ya hidup capek banget rasanya. Kalau besok wafat, gpp kali ya? Dosa hamba banyak sih

I woke up this morning. Feeling not okay. I feel like I am not myself. I see the clock. It ticks but it doesn't sounds alive. I don't want to live any longer. If I want to live, it's not here. I hate myself for being weak. I loathe it the most when I am vulnerable. Yeah, I know. I know that someone out there might want to live my life. I am just a bitch who has no gratitude. Forgive me for I have sinned. I mean it. I just feel so lost.

I'm not happy with my life

What the fuck am I doing with my life!!! Lu nyari apa sih Lung -_-"

#wcape

Untuk jiwa yang lebih dulu mendahului, terima kasih sudah berkenan hadir.

Terima kasih sudah mengajarkan banyak hal.

Memberi tawa, memberi karsa, memberi rasa hangat yang tidak terkira.

Tuhan Maha Baik.

Al Fatihah.

I spent most of our childhood trying to be a role model for him. Like I mean not great but I tried. I wanted to be there when he was sad. I wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay. I wanted to just be an example of what life could be and then he was that for me which is pretty crazy to be honest. I called him when I have the best days. I called him when I have my worst days. I called him when I don't know who else to call. So it's been so long. This past 2 years has been so quiet. You're far away for far too long. And today... It used to be your birthday. Al Fatihah. (at Surabaya) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci3IHckhj5M5FaS3tSKrQ-dHge0h2xR3cTm5kE0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Tak tergantikan, walau kita tak lagi saling menyapa. Two years gone too fast. Rest well, Dek. Al Fatihah. https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch5lryDBzO4kjg6eUqY80ydg9RCQwUgAeDUgRw0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Oh, you're crazy moon. (at Hutan Kota by Plataran) https://www.instagram.com/p/CgrrA6TrJ0DsQ1cTXikjFPnFR2qEfq33yZxWN80/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Car rien n'est gratuit dans la vie. (at Teluk Kiluan Lampung) https://www.instagram.com/p/CfT2dugLhWQ0b1zBkFgaf-_9hyeNbnsSyb3Cng0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

Kalau capek, nggak usah dikerjain. Daripada di belakang bilang aku udah ini itu. Dari pagi begini begitu. Capek ini itu. I don't even ask for it. Pamrih banget.

Gak sabar balik ke Jakarta.

Capek banget sama keluarga sendiri. Apa-apa aku yang ngurusin. Hmm....

🌻 https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca-lzP6h-jjyJ9W-x8kBUbroeol-PjMUx9X6N80/?utm_medium=tumblr

Every feeling is valid.

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