Lu's thoughts

Thoughts, headcanons, rants, and just plain gushing over my latest obsession

[luthinks]

Started out a new blog, cuz I need to air out my thoughts which are plaguing my brain for days every time I replay any of Rafayel's cards / contents and anything and everything.

Gonna start out with thoughts dump about all the anecdotes and 4 stars and 5 stars. Bear with me please 🙈.

[manikas-whims]

everytime i see MC posing as Rafayel’s bodyguard, this is my vision 😆

MC thinks she's protecting HIM when Rafayel doesn't really need it..he just loves her company..😉

gif by @kdramaspace

if you've seen the kdrama Healer, you very well know THAT iconic smile he secretly gives as she drags him away from danger, thinking she's the one protecting him 🤭

[luthinks]

Having severe cuteness aggression from this event!

Look at him being all tiny and quivering because he's placed on the cat tree and his fear of heights kicked in

I'm gonna steal him and keep him all for myself and take him in my pocket everywhere 😭😭😭😭

[luthinks]

I'M GONNA CRYYYYY 😭😭😭

[luthinks]

Having severe cuteness aggression from this event!

Look at him being all tiny and quivering because he's placed on the cat tree and his fear of heights kicked in

I'm gonna steal him and keep him all for myself and take him in my pocket everywhere 😭😭😭😭

[luthinks]

I think a lot of people really need to go back and read all of Rafayel's story if they think he's not fully capable within his own resolve to feel and act that way. I'm not saying he can't be influenced in the segment of the story we see in the trailer by some higher power, but everyone seems to forget be "wants to settle the score" with MC is there are heavy implications all over his story that he believes she did, in fact, betray him. Whether he knows why or how or if she was also influenced by something else is unknown. I just need the fandom to fr stop trying to princess this man who is capable of mass murdering people who have hurt and hunted Lemurians and can both love and resent MC for whatever jumble of memories he holds. The biggest problem this company created was giving Rafayel purely sappy cards to cater to his huge fan base in China. It's made everyone forget he is dark and angry.

Rafayel is definitely fully capable of taking action on his own against the people who have wronged him and his people and he does so many times. But the mass murdering aspect is also kind of exaggerated. The only people he has canonically killed which we as players have seen are, the person in the theater from Siren's song anecdote and possibly Raymond. Other instances we hear are from other characters — like the sea monster murders and stuff — I take that with a grain of salt cuz the people who were murdered, who worked for ever and experimented on lemurians, left ever group before they got murdered. It could also be ever group killing them and landing the blame on Rafayel. We'll never know, it's upto us what to believe. Knowing papergames, it's not going to be this straight forward but we'll just have to see how they expand on it.

And coming to the "he wants to settle score with MC" part, to me, he didn't sound malicious while he was saying that ... The first thing he did after coming back to linkon was to look up information about MC and make sure she's safe. He even confronted one of the raincoats to inquire if MC was on ever's list. In my personal opinion him settling the score with MC here probably refers to her having forgotten him. I don't think he's even going to hold it against her if she ever betrayed him. He has had multiple dialogues that say, even if she's leading him into a trap, he'd willingly walk into it.

He's definitely bitter that she had forgotten him and everything that happened but he doesn't want to harm her. Like in chapter 7 while he was going to fight the big sea monster, he told MC to stay away because he can't ensure her safety otherwise. And when MC invokes the bond and tells him to not go, he's melancholic that she forgot everything but even then she insists.

Tbh I think one of his major fears is MC will come to dislike him when she comes across his changed self (as he mentioned in omnipotent perception).

In my opinion both the extremities, that Rafayel is all sunshine and roses who's just a brat doing his bratty stuff, and that he's a cold blooded killer that despises MC and wouldn't hesitate one bit before killing even her are two ends of a spectrum. How people feel about him lies between that depending on their own interpretations.

While I believe him to be somewhere in the middle, (I'm team "Rafayel is never going to harm MC no matter what it looks like unless he's possessed, but he'll end anyone who tries to harm her or his lemurian subjects no questions asked" 😂) but at the same time I think it's okay for people to have different beliefs on that scale. Some might have liked the innocent care free side of his more which led to a sharp contrast with recent branch PV, so the angst is inevitable... It's okay for them to lament the loss of this sunshine aspect of his character ... While others might be excited about the dark aspects of his character being explored more, that is also fine. It's a game where all of us are playing at a different pace, and also some of the lore locked behind limited cards ends up with different people having different interpretations, even the timeline of how we get all the content is out of order. So it makes sense that, a complex character like Rafayel would generate a spectrum of opinions 😅.

All in all as long as people aren't being rude to other players I think it's fine how they personally interpret Rafayel's character... I personally believe that the sunshine carefree Rafayel and ruthless cold Rafayel are both part of his personality, neither is more real than the other. But my interpretation might not be in line with others, and that's completely fine too.

P.S. I'm very sorry if this came off as preachy or condescending. I'm not very good at expressing myself while writing 😅

[luthinks]

So ...

Rafayel's branch trailer, gave me a feast for thoughts

But may I precede those by saying, angry sea god Rafayel looks mighty fine.

The beautiful blue eyes with no hint of recognition for MC, I can sense the delicious angst incoming.

From the preview it looks like they got invited to some event, a jewelery auction perhaps, which is a cover for protocore trade. I feel like it'd somehow tie in with lemurians being experimented on — since Rafayel is involved. Somehow him and MC end up on a ship in the ocean in a storm and sea god takes over Rafayel ...

I feel like it isn't actually the Rafayel we know in the preview. He has mentioned before that he's scared MC wouldn't like him anymore if some day he becomes something else (omnipotent perception) and the fact that he's talking in third person in the preview while mentioning the sea god ...

(Spoilers for Rafayel's myths henceforth! with some head canons mixed in)

"I have no need for traitors" (chills! swoons)

I believe the sea god here is talking about Rafayel, since in the myths Rafayel was the one who betrayed the sea for his beloved, enraging the sea which then destroyed lemuria. For the sea god, MC is a lowly sacrifice (not a follower) ... not worth a thought except a means to punish Rafayel for betraying his responsibilities which were levied upon him since the day he was born ...

There were previous sea gods who came and fulfilled their responsibilities and died, but Rafayel went against the rituals of sacrificing his most devout follower to the sea ... in fact he ended up giving his own heart to her, figuratively and quite literally... The heart which was responsible for his powers which he got from the sea (borrowed from the sea if you will) to keep the eternal flame of lemuria burning ... such an act of pure betrayal of course the sea was angry with him ...

And now the sea wants it back, the power of the sea god, brought back to the sea god ... Rafayel? A mere vessel to carry out the deed ... bring back the heart he gave away ... Fulfil the sacrifice which he didn't last time ...

---

I went off a tangent lol. Of course all of this is only possible if the myths are canon to the main story ... But in either case, I can't wait to see the main story unfurl ... So many questions I have ... Hope the payoff is good 🥲

now we wait for two whole weeks. sigh.

[jiianie]

[writingescapades]

Life with Rafayel

A/N: I've been thinking a lot about Rafayel. His personality, character, story, and the relationship he has with his previous incarnations and this word vomit came out.

Detached from the world. Spontaneous mini trips. Short drives to isolated spots where you both take long walks, often camping in the car itself in order to catch that sunrise and sunset. Huddling together with warm tea and quiet music playing as you both watch the landscape and have soft conversations. He loves taking photos of nature, but also candid moments were you both can just be silly because no one is watching.

Aimless walks together. Walks with no direction or time limit where you both can catch up and soak in nature. He loves winter walks where he can hear your voice and you enjoy the windy days where you find his hand holding onto yours. You’ll often find little spots that you claim as your secret rendezvous. Places where you can find one another when the world can’t.

A life of wonder and curiosity. The human world demands logic and labour, Rafayel understands that better than anyone. But he doesn’t want that world to find its way into your life and the life you both share. He wants you to retain that wonder for the world. To rekindle that affection it holds as your eyes become mesmerized once more with its beauty. He wants you to remember the joys you took in your interests and hobbies and to make time for them over materialistic consumption and shallow pastimes. Nights of playing games, throwing riddles at one another, painting together, learning a new hobby, reading, or just chatting the night away until you both pass out.

No expectations. Rafayel goes into the relationship with no expectations from you. He doesn’t want to place your relationship into a mold. You both experienced too many life times of that. In this new world, with this new opportunity, Rafayel prefers watching your relationship’s unregulated growth. Life is short and every decision comes with consequences. Knowing that, Rafayel still chooses unconventional paths, even if they don’t make sense to him, he knows he prefers the unknown unconventional to the conventional path his heart is rejecting.

Artistic temperament. Mood swings. Intensity. Passion. Listlessness. Weeks of focus followed by months of being lost in his own world. All humans are artistic, but most avoid displaying their true behaviours. But Rafayel is not ashamed of his personality. If you share his artistic temperament, he encourages you to be yourself around him. If you too get lost in your own world, he wants to dive in with you. He doesn’t ridicule or scoff when doubt enters your mind, or when you find yourself questioning your existence or purpose. Even if you don’t share his temperament, he encourages you to dig dip and discover yourself through art. A life with Rafayel is a life of depth and meaning.

Fun. Life with Rafayel is fun. He’s been alive for so long he’s learned how to keep the magic of life alive. Life never falls into a set pattern or rhythm with him. It will never become humdrum and boring. He is someone you can fully trust, but never fully understand. He’s always slipping in and out of your fingers. When we lose someone, we lose the language we built with them. The language was only understood between the two of you, and, above all, that is what we mourn the loss of most. This holds true to Rafayel. A language built over lifetimes filled with teasing, sass, sarcasm, riddles, stories, and questions, all make Rafayel into a familiar enigma.

Emotionally reliable. Lemurians can see more colours than humans, who is to say they can’t experience or express more emotions? Can’t articulate your emotions well? Grew up being told to shove them down? Accustomed to wearing a mask and putting up a wall? Rafayel knows the feeling all too well. He knows how cruel the world can be, as a god and as a fish out of water. He’s best friends with the agony of failure, the sharp bite of isolation and ache of loneliness. With Rafayel, you don’t need to speak for him to understand. Yes, he will confront you to pull out what you want to desperately hide, but he will never ridicule you or expect your negative emotions to just go away. He encourages you to bring them up to the surface and express them akin to how waves crash onto the shore, recede, then crash again.

Companionship. Holding hands, pecks, entwining arms and legs are salves to Rafayel. The distance a god must carry. The pedestal a famous artist must stand on, and the centuries of being alone have made Rafayel crave companionship. It doesn’t always have to be physical affection, but just having that proximity with someone. To come into a room and hear a voice. To wake up to someone placing a blanket on top of him after another all-nighter. To ask someone about their day and hear concerns on his health. To look behind him and see you sitting nearby doing your own thing. Rafayel knows how to cherish mere existence after going so long without it, but to see someone doing the same for him is new. After all, what god can grant their own wishes? What god is even allowed to wish?

A life with Rafayel is to die knowing you have lived

[luthinks]

Lack of nuanced conversation around Rafayel

(Bit of a rant, which i posted on reddit, but wanted to share here as well 🙈)

This is just sort of a rant incoming, might contain some spoilers for Rafayel's myths, anecdotes and main story appearance, so please proceed at your discretion ...

Recently I feel like the conversation around Rafayel has gone from him being "bratty" to him being a "murderer" ... The thing that pesters me is, it's always one or the other with these discussions ...

This is just my opinion but I don't think that either of those "personas" are fake. I don't think he's being silly to hide that he has murdered people in the past or that he has some other sinister plans for the future. As I see it, when he is genuinely happy, the silly part of his personality comes out ... The whimsical way he approaches life, he isn't faking that either. Those emotions are also genuine, his dedication towards art all of those are a part of his personality ... Him acting cute and clingy for affection is also not a front because he actually yearns for MC's affection ...

And when it comes to how he has murdered people, I think a lot of nuance is omitted while mentioning that. He isn't going around killing people for the fun of it ... The underlying pain and the years of harm endured by lemurians at the hands of people he goes after aren't talked about enough ... Sure killing humans is messed up, but he has to, for protecting his people who he has failed multiple times who are still being attacked by the said humans ...

"He hates humans". Sure, he says so. But as we have seen, from his anecdotes, he genuinely appreciates his students while he was teaching. Gives inputs that would actually help them. From his cards, he repairs sculpture that means so much to a village. Is definitely cordial to most of the people he comes across... The only time he shows negative emotions towards regular humans is when he talks about their greed or taking for granted the things he finds fascinating ... At his core he's an inquisitive child, who is just fascinated with everything around him ...

Can you imagine a Rafayel, if he wasn't traumatised with everything he had to go through, how he would be, like a ray of sunshine going around experiencing the wonders of human world. Which he was so eager to explore as a child, raising his hand over ocean surface half scared, going around collecting human trinkets ...

Thing is Rafayel is a very layered character. It isn't one or the other with him, all his character traits co-exist. Bitter lemurian who is cynical about how humans are "bad", whimsical lemurians who gets excited by experiencing rain. Is scared or cats, calls them monsters ... Gets attached to one, takes care of it and calls her heartless when she forgets him after getting adopted ... Full of contradictions, this guy, but that's the beauty of him ... And getting to know him ...

And also it is very understated how difficult of a choice he has to make every single time when he choses to save MC's life over lemurians ... I guess the gravity of it can be explained by placing yourself at his position where you have to kill your lover or your entire family, everyone you have known since you were born, dies. I don't know how one recovers from that... And he had to make that decision multiple times ... How hard must it be for him to face the lemurians who are alive but being hunted for their life ... Or how after everything, the one who he mad the sacrifice for, doesn't even remember him ... He knows it's not her fault, but still how can you not hold a grudge after that ... It's all just contradictions with this guy

Well, that's about it. I was just a bit (maybe a lot 😅) bothered about the lack of context when it comes to these discussions. I have seen his lore being dismissed as something "not as painful" as the others and that's simply not just true ... Yeah he gets to be with MC (dubiously unfinished myth says) but at what cost!

Okay I'm done now 🙈

P.S. Cute Rafayel and Serious "Serial Killer" Rafayel both co-exist, neither is more real than the other.

[matsunoluvr]

just saw a tiktok saying “rafayel is for the girls that grew up too fast and want to heal their inner child” and it’s making me so sad i want to cry this is so sad

[luthinks]

This is very true.

The thing that made me gravitate towards him was the sense of wonder and innocence without any judgement in his tender moments. Yes he's whimsy, but the kind of whimsy that just makes you melt.

[luthinks]

Tender Moment : Heartfelt Moment

So Rafayel and MC are looking for a gift for Talia? (I love her so much, hope we get to see a sprite for her soon)

"Something interesting" he says ... though I quite like his definition of interesting — something the other person can receive only from him ...

MC and Rafayel have different styles of picking gifts. She looks for things that the other person might be wanting (kind of like picking something from their wishlist and and gifting that) while Rafayel solely focuses on getting something that'd absolutely remind the other person of him regardless if it's bizzare or not (classic Raf lol)

Lmfao he decided on gifting Talia a hollowed marble globe

Artist chicken that reminds MC of Rafayel, OHHH IT'S FLUFFY BIRB!! I love that plushie 😭 currently looking to buy that in real life actually!

But it's sort of hilarious how MC keeps comparing Rafayel to these cute animals, cat in your fragrance, the usual "little fishie" and a chick here ... lol she really adores him

They both came to get the same plushie. And MC going "Hey claw machine guy" 😭 she's too funny

"The opportunity to give you a surprise that's not too unexpected" 🥹 this guy ...

Sidenote — MC gifted Raf a white shirt ... (No wonder he keeps wearing that white and black plain combo even if I buy the entire available in-game closet for him)

A more unique gift — "Rest of my life with you" 😭😭😭😭😭 ... I just can't... This is too much for me

" ... A surprise gift that's not too unexpected would be better than a unique one"

" A surprise gift that's not too unexpected? those things contradict each other"

I love this dialogue! And absolutely adore their back and forth about the way they pick gifts. Both their philosophies are different but they respect each other's POV. Super fun! And the last dialogue 🥹 super romantic fishie ... This Card is one of my Favourites really

P.S. Rest of his life ... This aligns with my head canon that Rafayel from myths isn't the current day Rafayel ... He's the reincarnation with memories intact. I've got to list out some of the in-game canon (and maybe some headcanons as well)

[luthinks]

Finally got some time to resume my tender moments notes

(gonna finish all 4⭐ and 5⭐ memories this weekend)

I missed you my fishieeee 🥹

[luthinks]

Tender Moment : Ocean at Night

This was the first Rafayel tender moment I had heard, so it's kinda close to my heart ...

A walk on the beach at night, Rafayel taking pictures of MC ... how romantic 🥲

The way he chuckles 😭 so adorable ...

"Now that I've got used to your intrusions, I no longer enjoy being alone as I used to"

Dang it I'm in love with his laugh

The small flashback about his childhood ... Rafayel was a troublemaker lol

Rafayel seems kind of cynical at the beginning about the people on the beach releasing sea lanterns but comes around eventually

"Because your eyes hold the light of the sea lantern i gifted you. That way it'll forever stay by your side"

This one of the slower cards where nothing much significant occurs but I really love the walking on the beach part ..

[luthinks]

Just realised that I absolutely adore the Purple and Pink combination (these being the primary stellactrum for Rafayel, is one of the reasons).

They are so cohesive, yet so different.

[luthinks]

Tender Moment : Afternoon Arclight

Rafayel and his tendency to forego sleep for art, on display yet again. Him not picking up MC's phone is cuz he lost it among his clutter ... This man's a mess!

The infamous "puh-lease" 😂 ... Gosh I love their banter

So he's an impulsive shopper when he hits a roadblock (relating so hard minus the excessive money that he has 😵‍💫)

He doesn't eat doesn't sleep, what are you doing my guy!??

The items he ordered 😭😭 ... The tentacle device to hang on the bus roof to sleep standing up ...

"When I'm hungry or cold, I think of you and I don't feel it anymore" 🥹 ... Tears, stop!

The umbrella with one side extending to the bottom lmao. He really bought stuff for MC whenever he got stuck for inspiration... She's always on his mind

Stepping on bubble wrap 😭 ... see, this is the content I signed up for. The kind of innocent overview that he has ... It is fun! But nobody does it

"Wow, you could very well be my soulmate" — Second favourite line of the card. :)

So he doesn't paint portraits of people, but MC is the exception to the rule ... Of course she is 🥲

"There's no such thing as beauty and ugliness in art"

This one felt so domestic. And always a joy to experience art and just regular mundane things from Rafayel's perspective.

[luthinks]

Tender Moment : When Light Falls

Rafayel ended up temporarily blind. (Love, what are you doing!?? 😭)

He got himself to the hospital taking help from passerby's ... But didn't call MC until he got treatment, the same bloke who faked being "injured" because he missed her. The duality ... He'd act clingy in unserious moments while hiding himself and his problems away when something majorly impacts him. :(

"Take me home, I'm tired" ... with the chuckles ... I love the VA

Stayed up late, pulled two all-nighters and ended up temporarily blind.. this guy! (who am I to say anything with the amount of unhealthy lifestyle choices I myself make, it's literally 2 am right now and I'm word vomitting about fishie 😭)

Why does he talk about losing his sight forever with such nonchalance!? ... Concerned MC is me!

The entire sequence of MC helping him with colour mixing was so sweet ... The way he talks about colours is just so :( ...

The chucklesss 😭😭😭 ... Have I mentioned I love the EN VA ? Because I really do love the way they portray Rafayel

"Perhaps, once you see the darkness you can never unsee it"

"I don't believe it ... Once you've seen colour it'll forever be etched in your memory"

This card definitely gives a good idea about Rafayel's self-destructive tendencies. And how he tends to hide his pain and anything that'll get others actually concerned about him ... Underneath all that clingy and bratty exterior, this man has walls of iron!

[luthinks]

Tender Moment : Homecoming Sonata

Rafayel helped MC for her performance in the retirement home (cute lol!).

"What if we grill them, that way we won't have to worry about dinner." — Rafayel about the seagulls, pleaseeee 😭

The highlight of this card was definitely Rafayel playing harmonica. MC played it first, which in my opinion was quite alright (albeit a bit funny) ... But once Rafayel plays it .... Is this what heaven sounds like?? The melody is hauntingly beautiful ... The lemurian song T^T

Him talking about the seagulls crying out because they were homesick, had a tinge of melancholy about him being in the same situation ..

Ended with Rafayel saying "let's go home" 🥹 ... MC is his home now ...

"Don't worry your new home would be nicer than this one"

One of my favourite tender moments. Love the way they alluded about Rafayel being homesick as well, while talking to the baby seagull.