Friendly reminder: we're all going through it.
I just had a revelation during my last trip. Something that might be obvious but I was completely oblivious to: [Almost] no one is having a good time right now. Things have changed and shifted for all of us one way or another. We've been forced to face ourselves and our motives, as well as the sudden curves that life has been throwing at us. The grief for the people and things we lost has passed and pure uneasiness and anxiety have settled.
It's funny how we get so caught up in our issues that we are unable to raise our heads and look around. If we could, we'd see that we're not going through it alone, everyone's fighting to keep afloat. It's sad that apart from everything, this pandemic has also taken from us the sense of collectiveness and has left us feeling more and more isolated.
I remember last year when I felt like I was the biggest victim of the circumstances. That no one had it worse than me. In a time in which everyone else had the privilege to move on, I was the only one being denied. I had my shot but now it was time to wake up and get back to where I belonged. A place with no hope, where all I could do was sit on a shelf and wait for the dust to settle upon me, like one of those old forgotten toys from that toy story movie.
But as the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side. I found that to be true because, in my head, everyone was doing exciting things, finding exciting jobs, moving to cool cities, and just being able to live their lives. I remember, with a bit of shame, last year when a friend of mine was telling me how hard it was for his girlfriend to find a job and how difficult that situation was for both of them and my instant reaction was to tell him that if she couldn't find a job there then she could just find it in any other country in Europe, that at least they had options, like a ton of them, not like...me. Yeah, as if it was that easy. Without even realizing it, I was judging and undermining someone else's struggle just because in the self-pity pool I was in I could not see the bigger picture.
However, the biggest eye-opener for me was coming back to Europe and talking face to face to every one of my friends and some other acquaintances and realizing straight away that they all had a similar story: Either they haven't been able to find a job and felt desperate because of it, or they did find one but they did not like it and wish they had another one, or they did not like the place they are living; struggles with mental health issues, while also feeling incapable, and overall utterly unsatisfied. The saddest parts they did not tell me, however, I could see it cristal clear: How lonely, lost and out of place, they're all feeling. It's as if everyone wishes they were doing something else, someplace else, with some other people.
As sad as all of this made me feel, it made me feel closer to them in a way. Closer in a way beyond words. I came to terms with the fact that we're all going through it one way or another. We're all feeling numb, and sad, and anxious about our future. Somehow that felt like a relief: even though I'm on the other side of the world, far away from everyone, I'm still part of this pack. I still have things in common with all these people, and that just made me feel less lonely.
Something strange was happening to me as well. I got this newfound [hope] because of them. For if you look past this cloud of messiness everyone's wrapped around, you'll find people that are giving it their all. They're fighting for their future and their wellbeing with all they got. day after day, and that's something incredible. That made me want to do the same. Without knowing it, they grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a massive shake; a perfectly timed wake-up call. It reminded me of how worthy it is to keep fighting, to keep pushing while in the meantime trying to enjoy every little moment of joy we can get as well. Before I even ended my trip I was certain, maybe for the first time in a long time, of what my next steps were going to be. and for that, I am grateful to them.
I know better times are coming for all of us, we just gotta keep rowing a bit longer, leaning on the people around us, because at the end of the day that's all we got, and that is everything.
