Your FS' Negative Traits
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Pile 1
Hi sweethearts! Hope you are doing well <3
Okay so your future spouse is someone who has a terrible case of the scarcity mindset, that is present in multiple areas of their liffe. They may focus on what feels missing even when things are relatively stable, which can make shared moments feel like they are not as special anymore. They are the kind of person who withdraws inwards when times get stressful, and they may hesitate in enjoying simple pleasures because they feel like they need to do "more" in order to deserve it.
Moreover, your fs may also be extremely posessive by nature, and they have a strong need to protect what they deem to be theirs, and this could show up as them being reluctant to share resources, having difficulty when compromising, or even feeling pangs of jealous when their partners energy slows towards people who are not them. This trait could also makes them quite controlling if a conversation has not been had at the very start.
There are plenty of hidden insecurities that bubble under the surface, where they may project unspoken dears onto their relationships leading to unclear comunicaton, moodiness or unwarranted suspicion from them. They have still not healed from their past relationship, and the wound may be relatively recent so currently they are in an emotionally unavailable state and have a tendency to revisit old pain and ruminating over it, thinking about how they were a victim rather than letting it go, and moving onto bigger better things.
Finally, they may struggle heavily with transitions and changes, and have an impatient streak. This impatience can lead to them doing things withought foresight, more often than leading to them getting disappointing results because of their haste. When it comes to change, they may resist or complain rather than adapting or trying to adapt, leading to restlessness and thought spirals.
Song: Maggot for Brains - Olivia Rodrigo
Pile 2
Hi angels <3 Hope you guys are doing well <3
Your fs has an idealistic nature and a vivid imagination that sometimes pulls them away from practical, on-ground reality. They can get lost in fantasies which makes it hard for them to stay fully grounded and focused on their day-to-day responsibilities. This may show up as procrastination, or even idealising his relationships while avoiding the more "difficult" parts of it, where people surrounding them may feel like they are carrying more of the real-world load because their attention drifts towards what could be rather than what is.
They could also be very hot and cold, very contrasting personalities, like there are times when they are warm and generous, but this can instantly flip into isolation and pushing people away, where theys wing between being overly focused and craving external validation, and withdrawing when they feel burnt out, but this imbalance creates emotional inconsistency everywhere but especially at home.
Moreover, they have a pattern of overcommitting and then being unable to follow through. Because of their enthusiastic and helpful demeanour, they end up taking on too much, which is followed by withdrawal or avoidance when the weight of their responsibilities become too heavy.
They also have a rigid, traditional side to their thinking that can often feel obsolete, like they hold strong beliefs on how things "should" be done, from lifestyle and roles to values. This makes them come off as stubborn, judgemental and difficult to deal with, and they may struggle trying to see a situation from different perspectives. Interestingly enough, this traditional side also leads to a sort of sacrificial tendency that is everpresent where they sometimes wait too long to act or express needs, which leads to silently enduring, but always ends up surfacing as resentment, which can confuse people around them because your fs may just break connections off in this manner too.
Song: Self Aware - Temp City
Pile 3
Hi my loves <3 Hope you guys are doing well!
So your fs may struggle with being honest, they will not lie about big things, but may be the sort to tell a 100 white lies, which could lead to the trust of others dwindling in them, but they are trying to actively work on this aspect of theirs. They may set impossibly high expectations of themseles which reality has trouble matching, resulting in disappointment or avoidance when things don't go their way. Their past experiences have also made them extremely defensive, making them quick to defend themselves if they interpret even a neutralsituation as threatening.
Giving and receiving feels imbalanced with them because they. may be outwardly generous but keep score privately when its their money, but may be loose when it comes to paying their debts. This could also be a result of unresolved childhood issues where they may not have had enough resources, which makes them so guarded with what they do have. Despite all of that, they could have a habit of romanticising the past, which means they never truly learn from past mistakes.
Moreover, they may have an avoidant attachment style where they push people away things get too real due to their fear of emotional intimacy and and hyper-independence. This could lead to fights even in tender moments, because they may start feeling uncomfortable being vulnerable. They may also have unhealthy coping mechanisms including escapism, being a spendthrift, avoidance, etc.
Lastly, this person is not one to trust their intuition easily. They could try and be rational constantly, and mistake their gut feeling for anxiety. They may also be ignorant, but at least they are someone who is willing to learn and have open dialogues with people. It is also difficult for them to articulate their feelings well, which can lead to fights over blunt statements which cause misunderstandings.
Song: Yellow - Coldplay
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