HOLD ME TIGHT PLEASE, PUDDING
Kenma Kozume x Fem!reader
WARNINGS : Panick attacks, mentions of self harm
Summary : Kenma is Y/N's boyfriend since the first year of high school, and when kenma came to visit at Y/N's place, he found his beloved kitten having a break down on her room.
° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °
The sound of my heart pounding in my chest is the only thing I hear, the sound of my agony I'm trying to hide, the lump of my throat that is literally heavy and it's making harder for me to hold back my sobs.
I don't know why I am like this, why am I like this? I was happy earlier, I thought everything was going well. How did it turned out like this? Why am I feeling like this?
A train of thoughts ran miles and miles to my mind, the more I think, the more heavy my chest gets. It hurts so much.
It hurt so much that I started to hit my chest, clawing it to, desperate to breath. It hurts... So so much. Someone please... I begged.
Everything was to much to the point that I was scratching my neck and arms leaving marks all over it and also a specks of blood starts to show on it.
Just then, I felt someone embrace me. Taking me into their arms, embracing me so warmly and gently. I felt the person held my hands preventing me from injuring myself any further. The person was rocking out body back and forth as if they were consoling a crying baby.
" shhhh.. It's ok kitten, I'm here, your pudding is here, it's ok my love.. I'm here.. " they hushed. Pudding? Wait I know that name.. Who was it? Where have I known them.
" look at me baby, look at me. " I felt the person grabbed my chin gently making me look at them, there I was met with such beautiful cat-eyes with Hazel Hues.. Wait I know these eyes. Oh these eyes held such adoration and Warmness.. And care in them. Oh I could just stare at them for hours.
" that's it, good girl, now beat her with me honey, breathe me.. That's it. " they then held me closer. I tried to mimic their breathing which was working, I felt their hands rubbing circles on my back while.
" there we go, you're doing great kitten. Just keep doing that.. There we go.. " they kissed my forehead. A sense of familiarity ran through my veins. My mind was foggy and messy before so I wasn't able to recognize the perosn show as holding me right now. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't even realize that he was the one who is holding me right now.
I pulled out in his embrace as I stared at his beautiful cat-eyes. I examine his feautures. Jaw length hair with a yellow dye below his black hair, making him look like a pudding, cute cheeks.. Pointy nose and oh the the eyes I always love to get lost at.
I cupped his cheeks as another sob escaped my lips, more tears spilling through my eyes.
" k-kenma.. " I sobbed, lips quivering. He then smiled, the little smile I always love to see in him.
I felt another whine escaped my lips, biting my lower lip to supress another ugly cry.
Kenma, my boyfriend, pulled me back into his arms. The comfort he was giving me was enough to break the walls I was trying to built making me cry like a pathetic child.
Kenma held me tight as he whispers such sweet comments and compliments to me. The fact that he was giving those beautiful words for me only made me more emotional. Why am I such a cry baby? I feel embarrassed, yet so loved at the same time.
I clutched his shirt, crying my heart out into his chest as he rubbed circles to my back, kissing my forehead and whispering such sweet things to me. How did I became this lucky.
After seems like hours. Y/N finally calmed down, but asleep.
I looked at her puffy eyes and her flushed cheeks and nsoe from crying, I wiped her wet cheeks and the snot on her nose with my T-shirt and also wiping her sweats.
I sighed for a bit before looking at her again, so beautiful and so fragile. I sighed yet again before chuckling. But at the same time, she's one a hell of a woman.
I tuck a few strand of her H/L H/C behind her ear before carrying her in bridal style and placing her gently on her bed. once I placed her on her bed, I quickly went to her bathroom, taking her med kit and taking out some disinfectant and bandages.
I cleaned the scratches on her arms and neck before wrapping them up. Once I was done I tidied up my mess and her room. In the process of me on cleaning her room, I heard a soft knock coming from the door.
It opened slightly and to only reveal her mother. I bowed at her politely and also greeting her.
" how is she? "She asked with a worried look in her eyes.
" she's.. Fine now, just calmed down. " I answered. Her mother looked at her sleeping figure for a moment before looking back at me again.
Her mother gave me a bow before giving me a hug, I felt myself froze from the spot not really used this much contact before, well, apart from Y/N.
Mrs. L/N let go of me before giving me a sad smile as she went to Y/N sleeping figure, sitting beside her.
Mrs. L/N stared at her daughter for a moment before caressing her cheeks.
" Y/N is very lucky to find a boy like you, you know? " Mrs. L/N started, I felt myself getting flustered at her comment.
I was about to object when she cuts me off.
" back then, her attacks were far worse then this actually.. To the point that she to he admitted to a hospital. " she sighed.
" before you came, my duaghtee, Y/N, was very quiet, rarely speaks and go outside. But thanks to you, that all changed. " she looked at me.
" I'm very thankful for everything you did for my daughter. " she walked up to me and patted my head.
" please continue treating my daughter with so much care. " she smiled before bowing again and leaving the room. I stared at the now closed door for a moment before sighing and inviting myself to the bed next to her, also carefully pulling herself to me, cuddling her real close.
I promise to treat you with so much care and love. I love you so so much L/N Y/N.
