A Gay, sadly

he/him 

[cinematech]

[allzelemonz]

Settle: Merle Dixon X Male Reader

Pronouns: he/him, Reader referred to as ‘man’ and ‘boy’ Physical Sex: AMAB Rating: E/Smut, language Warnings: Slurs (homophobic), Merle Dixon is his own warning, mention of Merle’s SS symbol, typical southern prejudice/homophobia, neck kissing, anal fingering, anal sex, cockwarming, hand job, cuddling, top Merle and bottom Reader Summary: After striking out with every woman in camp, Merle turns to you and ignores the gay aspect of sleeping with another man in favor of getting laid. A/N: Imagine my lack of surprise but utter disappointment in finding no male reader shit for Merle. Written out of spite. Enjoy.

After a third pill and a third strikeout, Merle is almost certain he’ll have to handle himself tonight. No woman in the whole damn camp wants any action, even with a touch of good ol’ Southern charm Merle attempted. Not a bite from anyone. So Merle stumbled through the cluster of tents, only half as high as he’d like to be and blue balls stiff between his legs. Just as he’s about to turn a corner towards his tent on the outskirts with his brother’s, he catches a pretty sight.

Not that Merle is gay. Of course not. But the man is asleep with his tent partly unzipped, shirt off and back arched like a damn whore. How could Merle not stare just a little. His eyes trail over your back, bare and just fuzzied by the drugs in his system that he may mistake things enough to ignore the dick between your legs.

So he kicks your foot, waking you up.

Your hand goes to your knife first, then you turn to see it’s not something dead behind you. “What, Merle?”

“Ya a queer?”

You squint at him, off put by the way he says it. “Why’re you asking?”

He shrugs. “Fella can’t be curious.”

“Not with that Nazi symbol on your bike you can’t.” You close your hand around your knife. “Go away.”

Merle chuckles, raising his hand in mock surrender. “Woah, woah, there… I was just askin’.”

You stare at him for a moment. “Fine. Yeah, I like men. I’m a queer. Are we done here?”

Merle bites at the inside of his cheek, trying to come up with the right words. “Ya let me fuck ya?”

“What?” You ask, sitting up to look at him properly.

Merle scoffs. “Ya heard me. Would ya?”

“Why would you-“

“Ladies ‘round here bein’ stingy.” Merle shrugs. “Hole’s a hole.”

“You’re joking.” You say in disbelief.

“Ain’t like I never fucked an ass before. It’s the same shit.”

You shake your head. “No, it’s really not.”

“Aw, come on, I’ll be quick.” Merle attempts a pout. “Ain’t no trouble.”

You sigh, shaking your head because you know it’s a dumb idea somewhere deep down. “Fine.”

Merle grins. “Atta boy.”

“Get on with it then.” You sigh, watching Merle step inside. “Zipper.”

Merle turns and zips the tent closed behind him, fumbling with it for longer than any regular person would. When he turns his hands go straight to his belt.

You watch his fingers move for a second. “You ever fucked another man before.”

Merle snorts. “Course not. I ain’t a queer.”

“It’s a little different, you know.”

“What?” Merle sneers. “I gotta play with yer pecker er somethin’?”

You shake your head. “Not necessarily. But you have to stick your fingers in for a while and stretch things out.”

“Yer just picky.”

“Maybe. Just do it, asshole, or I’m not gonna let you fuck anything.”

Merle pulls his belt free. “Fine. Pants off then, sweetheart.”

You huff, annoyed at Merle already, but it’s been far too long since you’ve had this chance. You pull your pants off, ignoring Merle’s eyes on your legs and turn around to lay on your stomach.

“Alright.” Merle grins, shuffling up behind you and nudging your legs apart. “What am I doin’ here, sweetheart?”

You turn your head back, half wanting to see the sight. “Put your fingers in your mouth.”

“Why?”

“Spit’s the only lube we have.” You mutter. “Just do it.”

Merle glares slightly, but does as he’s told and presses three fingers past his lips. He sucks on them, his other hand already going to your hip. It’s clear he’s never been the type to do this with any of the women he’s been with either. Without prompting, he drops the hand down and traces until he finds your rim.

“Ya ready for Merle’s magic fingers, boy?”

“Shut up.”

Merle chuckles, circling his finger around before slowly pushing inside. “Whew…” Merle exclaims. “Tight little thing, ain’t ya?”

You open your mouth to speak but Merle’s finger drags against your prostate and all you can manage is a groan as you bury your face down into your pillow.

He leans over you, his hand moving up to grip at the bare skin of your chest. “I find somethin’ good?”

You nod, mindlessly pushing back into him. “Fuck, Merle…”

He repeats the drag, his fingers moving quickly to fuck whatever sounds he can get out of you. You don’t expect much more, but he leans down and presses his lips to your neck. He trails sloppy kisses over your skin, his fingers fully thrusting into you at a quick pace.

“You want me?” Merle murmurs next to your ear. “Want Merle to fuck ya better than some fairy ever could, don’t ya?”

“Yeah…” You answer, spreading your legs as much as you can. “Why you’re here, isn’t it?”

Merle grins against your skin. “You just be a good boy. You’re good at that.”

He sits back up, removing his fingers and positioning himself properly behind you. His hands fix on your waist, pulling you back and propping you up on your widespread knees. You feel his tip press against you for just a second before he presses inside. There certainly isn’t enough lubrication or preparation, so the stretch of being entered hurts just enough to make a few whines form in your throat. Merle pushes all the same, stretching you open and filling you up with everything he has.

He groans as he bottoms out, running a hand over your spine. “You feel so damn good, sweetheart.” He squeezes your hip slightly. “Might turn me gay…”

Before you can think much about that, Merle begins to piston his hips at a quick pace. Both of his hands grip tightly at your hips and the force of his thrusts presses you forward into your pillow, only held up at the waist for Merle to fuck into you properly. You let him, relaxing into the hold and letting him use you because the slide of his dick hitting your prostate feels better than anything else. Merle pushes you down to lay flat, leaning over you and rocking into you as his head dips against your shoulder. The sleeping bag below you rubs at your dick with every thrust Merle gives you.

“Knew I liked you.” Merle mutters, half to himself. “Better than any damn woman… shit, sweetheart.”

Merle’s hips stutter and he groans as he releases, burying himself as deep as he can into you. You take heavy breaths as Merle relaxes on top of you, trying to ignore the squirming feeling of not having finished. Then Merle’s hand snakes under you, pumping furiously fast and gripping hard until you mutter his name and your vision blurs for a moment as you spurt cum onto your sleeping bag.

His hand slows to a massaging tempo and you can hear him inhaling strongly. “Ya gotta let me do that again sometime, boy.” He murmurs. “God, yer making me inta a queer.”

“Happy to help.” You mutter, still catching your breath.

Merle chuckles, letting both arms encircle you as he fully lets himself relax on top of you. “So ya liked my dick in ya?”

You bury your head into your pillow, avoiding his annoying question.

Merle chuckles. “Lemme sleep here?”

“Whatever.”

“Can I fuck ya in the mornin’?”

“If you want.”

He grins, settling his lips right next to your ear. “Ya gonna help keep little Merle warm all night too?”

You groan as he pushes against you, his soft dick still filling you and linking the both of you together. “Just sleep, jackass.”

He chuckles again. “Whatever you say, queer.”

[nllick]

Derby Harrington x Fem Reader headcanons! ★

• He leaves you for a man.

[bowieandqueen11]

Amore Mio / Ezio Auditore Imagine

Request: heyy could i request a male reader with ezio sneaking in to to see him? what they do is up to you idm:)

Yes you absolutely CAN! Ngl I used to have a massive crush on Ezio so thank you for making some feelings remerge <3

I’m sorry if this is short and awful, I just need to get into writing for AC, so if you like please do comment and request!

The golden glow of the dwindling Florentine sun cast shadows over Ezio Auditore’s grinning face.

Federico had warned him not to come - that his father would be upset if he caused more trouble for himself after the fight with Vieri de’ Pazzi that same afternoon, and yet he could still see him perched on a rooftop out of the corner of his eye. Despite his protests, as Ezio used a crumbling window ledge to pull himself up just that little bit higher, there was a smirk on his face as his brother turned and jumped back down onto the street.

‘Caution to the wind, huh!’, he shouts, turning for one last look at his brother, laughing all the while. He waves once, shaking his head, before mumbling incoherently to himself. Soon, Ezio can barely make out the figure of his receding form as Federico makes his unhurried way down the piazza. Before he knows it, his brother has completely slipped into the ebbing crowd of thronging shadows, unknown to both of them, for the last time.

Ezio had more important things to worry about now, turning his mind away from worrying about what scandals Federico would impart to his mother once he returned home. Ever since he had been old enough to start causing brazen trouble, only one phrase would leave his mother’s mouth that could inflict serious pain to his heart.

‘If you keep getting into fights, no more seeing Y/n, hm? I mean it this time Ezio’, his mother would sigh as she tended to the Wisteria withering by the Spandrel door, ignoring the way Ezio’s mouth would fall open and his shoulders would drop, as if to argue back.

Instead, he chose to turn away. Hiding away all thoughts of you, of his tesoro, deep into his minds where no one else could touch it - where it belonged to him, and him alone. The thought of anything happening, of him harming you, of him being ripped away from you somehow, was the cruellest joke he believed Firenze could wrought upon him. Now that he was a bit older, and as he thought (although his mother would disagree), a bit wiser, he was finally ready.

So, away he snuck with his brother’s help, barely registering the rooftops his feet went flying over until he landed underneath the rich radiance of your latticed window. He fingered the ring he had stuffed into the back pocket of his breeches. The same ring he had brokered off of a merchant only a few weeks after meeting you. After the constant teasing from his brothers and sister about how soft you made him, after the begging of his mother to find an outlet that made him happy, the pleading of his father to find something good and proper to hold onto to deter himself from the fights, he fully intended to finally - officially - make you his tonight.

With a flourish of romance’s delicate hand, the sun began to bloom garnet and amber streams across the sky. With it, came the serenity and secrecy of eventide that Ezio had wished for, the dreams of the night beginning to play sweetly in his imagination as his boot hitched itself off of a stone pillar.

Looking back, he supposed that’s why he didn’t notice the pebble that nearly smashed into the side of his nose.

‘Ezio Auditore!’, you half shout, half whisper down, trying to avoid alerting your more than nosy neighbours. One arm is poised and ready to throw another rock from your windowsill. ‘How many times do I have to tell you, you can’t just keep climbing up into people’s rooms anytime you want!’ Your words were sharp, but your hoarse tone was anything but, teasing the man who was currently left dangling with one hand from the outer wall of your family’s villa.

‘Now now, Y/n, let me explain-’, Ezio starts, hand reconnecting with brick that he uses to pull himself back up until he’s hunched against the wall.

‘I have half a mind to just leave you out here and call the guards. My family has always warned me to keep away from the Auditores you know. I should have listened to them all those years ago, and then I could sleep in peace instead of having a very bloodied looking idiota climbing up my wall!’

‘Now amore mio, where would be the fun in that? If you would like to sleep, just point me in the direction of your bed and I would be more than happy to take you there.’

The two of you broke into laughter at the same time, before you quickly realise yourself and shush Ezio. Checking the coast is clear, and your parents are still asleep down the hallway from your room, you gingerly lean over the edge of your sill and hold one hand out. Your fingers wiggle, beckoning impatiently to the smiling man below, who wastes no time climbing over the remaining sun-scorched bricks. He’s so quick, in fact, that he’s just a blur until his nose bumps against your own, colliding into your chest.

You manage to grab onto him before the two of you go tumbling headfirst, back onto the streets below. Closing your hands around his ever so slightly larger, and indefinitely more calloused ones, you intertwine your fingers with his before pulling him in. You stick your head out into the night air with one final check that no one had spotted him from the street below, before shutting the latch on your window and pulling the heavy drapes across to block out all remaining light.

‘Cuoro mio, it has felt like an eternity since I saw you last.’

Ezio skips the pleasantries this time, instead deciding to kick your wooden door shut with the edge of his boot. When he is satisfied the latch has clicked, he moves so fast across your maroon carpet that you barely have time to register he’s said anything before his lips have attacked your neck. 

You moan gently as his arms wrap around your waist, making no effort to push him off. Instead, he jolts against you, frame sinking into your body as the two of you go stumbling backwards into your writing desk. His tongue wetly drifts against your shoulder blades, kisses needy and desperate and oh so sweet as he goes on the attack against every piece of available skin he can find.

‘Ezio, my love, you saw me this morning, when you somehow roped me into delivering those letters for your father. Even you cannot be so, hmph, needy already-’ 

Despite the way his stubble brushed against his cheek, despite the warmth of his thumbs as they rubbed as gently as Ezio could in his eagerness against the patch of skin at your waistline, despite the way his lips were trailing up your neck until they reached your own line of stubble lining your throat, you still managed to find the strength to push Ezio back a little.

‘Something is on your mind, piccola piuma. Come, tell me.’

Ezio doesn’t pull far away from you. Instead, he seems almost nervous - uncharacteristically scared, even, as he wraps you in the bracket of his arms and presses the two of you against the table’s edge. His lips are slightly swollen already from the onslaught, his eyes desperate and needy as he turns to look up at you, eyes swirling. 

‘Y/n- I have to ask you something…I love you.’

‘Yes, I am aware. I love you too, although that is not a question’, you chuckle, nuzzling your forehead against his own. He sighs in relief, searching your eyes for any sign you’re about to withdraw from him, before he finally swallows the fear that has been plaguing his heart and closes his eyes in preparation.

‘Will you- will you-’

‘Yes, I will’, you whisper, lips turned up in a grin.

His eyes open again in shock, mouth opening and closing so quickly you start laughing as he still just gapes down at you like a blubbering fish.

‘But you have no idea what I was about to say!’

‘You really think you, or any of your brothers can keep a secret? All it took was three feathers for me to bribe Petruccio into telling me what you were planning. Almost too easy’, you sigh, mockingly.

‘But you- you’re saying - you’re saying you will?’

Ezio looks almost dumbstruck, frozen in place as he gazes down at you.

‘Of course, idiota. I’m yours.’

It takes Ezio all of two seconds to dive down, before capturing you in the most passionate kiss of your life. You can feel him smile against your skin as he reaches up to cup your cheeks, whispering little sweet nothings against your face as he walked you backwards towards the bed.

The last thing the sun saw of Ezio Auditore that night, were his pursed lips leaning over to blow out the candles illuminating the room, before the two of you were draped in a smoky darkness you wished would never leave.

[jessiarts]

[Shut off last version of this post to avoid possible continual spread of misinformation that was corrected by staff. Reposting clean with corrected info]

So I'm sure almost everyone knows about the porn bot problem by now, so here's a post detailing why it's a problem, and what we need to do about it.

First off, yes, always block the porn bots. Don't be mislead into thinking they're ok to keep around because they 'inflate your follower count.'

Firstly, no one cares about, nor can anyone even see, your follower count. Be free from the shackles that are the bullshit other socials told you was important. Don't let your ego be tied to a number. Having a lot of followers won't earn you any clout here.

Secondly, bots only follow blogs to try and legitimize their malware (and other dodgy) links. This post goes into more detail about that.

Now that that's out of the way, you'll need to know how to recognize a porn bot. This round the template seems to be:

A profile photo of a pretty lady or guy, usually in their underwear, with a similar header photo.

A bio with some combination of: [Age] // [Name] // [Location] // [Emoji] // [Top Bullshit% OnlyFans]

URL consisting of a name followed by a number (i.e: firstlast999)

Typically an empty blog, or if there is content, it's all dodgy links. Visible, but empty, Likes Tab, & occasionally a visible Following Tab.

You likely recognize the pattern.

So, what you want to do is, first, report the blog as spam On mobile it'll look like this:

On mobile you'll need to report spam first, and then go back to the menu again to block.

On desktop it will look like this, and unlike mobile, you'll be able to report spam and block in the same motion:

If I remember correctly,* be sure to "Report Spam", not "Report sexually explicit material" to feed the bots to the proper channels. Because the blog is empty, they haven't posted anything explicit that would violate TOS. However, staff can recognize a bot, and if you report the blog for spam (the actual problem) they'll take a look, more than likely find that the blog is posting or DMing dodgy links, and dispose of it.

And I think that's it. Here's wishing you all a happy and safe blogging experience!

[UPDATE: It was suggested on another post that the bots track your IP if you click on them to send more your way. However, someone from staff corrected and said this is incorrect. They also corrected the 'guilt by association' myth that bots following you can get your blog flagged by tumblr.

That said, that trail all led to another, easier, way to report/block the bots all from your Follower Tab instead of visiting each blog separately, unfortunately it only works on desktop:

(For newbies, click on the little person icon at the top right of your screen and scroll to find the Followers tab under the blog/sideblog you need to block a pornbot from.)

*I remember this information from a blog that used to be all about taking down the pornbots. Unfortunately I do not know if that blog is still active, nor can I remember the URL. If anyone knows what blog I'm referring to, and/or if they're still active, please feel free to tag them so others can follow them for more tips!

[queeniesrose]

Reblogging this as I’ve seen an influx of pornbots following me. To all the actual human followers, please make sure you have an actual bio that does not follow the format described above. I have also seen many that separate the words in their bio with emojis. PLEASE make sure that your bio isn’t similar to these.

Also, if you are a new follower or are a relatively new account, please make it so your account doesn’t look empty. There are some accounts that have followed me and I’ve looked at that make me question if they are a bot or not. I have been reporting and blocking any bots that I see are following me. If you don’t want to risk being reported by accident, please update your account a bit. Thanks y’all!

[writingseaslugs]

Hey, reblogging this to let others know. It’s a nightmare dealing with them. I personally don’t check this blog since I get followers every day, but my personal blog gets a lot of them. So just report and block them.

[lone-wolf-nergiganos]

Like and reblog if you can relate to this: