hi! i saw your prompt post! dunno if you write for eremika, but i think you’d kill some eremika angst/hurt comfort :)
Yay! I've wanted to write Eremika for a little bit, so this is perfect! Thank you! Some inspiration from School Castes.
3,162 words | Read on AO3
~*~
When Eren saw Armin again, it wasn’t in Hell. Though, maybe Florida was close enough.
Disney World’s supposed to make you happy, right? Eren couldn’t get the thought out of his head as he pressed his wet back against the shaded brick wall behind him. His parents and younger brother were off in a line for something Eren had no interest in riding—so essentially, they could have been anywhere.
He hadn’t tried to lose them, but he didn’t mind, either. The humidity was driving him mad, minute by minute. He missed the air conditioning back at the house, and more than that, he missed the dry heat in Arizona. Ever since they’d moved, he’d felt like he was always mildly drowning; either on the air, or his own sweat.
“Water?” a kind voice asked.
Eren straightened, his head whipping to find the source. To his left, a familiar head of blonde hair clumped together in small chunks over a glistening forehead. Blue eyes, and a shy smile.
Armin lifted the bottle he offered, but Eren couldn’t move.
“I saw you standing here on my way to get a drink, and you looked like you could use some, so…” Armin explained. His brows crept together when an answer still didn’t come. “Are you okay?”
Eren forced himself to move, stiff like his joints had rusted in the damp heat. He wrapped his fingers around the bottle, and nodded.
“Thank you.”
Armin smiled. “Are you here with anyone?”
“Uh…”
“You can join us!”
Eren wondered if he was hallucinating. Had the sun gotten the best of him?
“Mikasa!”
His heart skipped a beat. No, this wasn’t real. And if it was, he couldn’t handle it. Not now. Maybe not ever.
With Armin’s back turned to him, he slipped around the corner of the building and took off as fast as he could push his shaking legs.
~*~
By the time junior year started, Eren was still thinking about them. Nearly two months had passed, and as many nights were filled with their faces in his dreams.
It was no wonder his peers avoided him in the halls. The purple under his eyes, and his default dead stare were the perfect shield. But, the less people bothered him, the better. He was far too tired to deal with the endless interviews that came with being the new kid.
The peace didn’t last long, though.
Two weeks into the semester, Eren was making his way down the stairs from his last class when he heard that voice again.
“Take whatever you need. I’m happy to do some charity work.”
Eren was certain he was hallucinating now, but he couldn’t help slowing his strides.
“Little fuck—” Thud .
Armin groaned.
Eren’s legs moved faster than his brain, pulling him down the last flight of stairs into the basement. Armin sat in the corner, crumpled up against the wall, with two senior jocks towering over him and a sophomore bitch digging through his backpack.
“Get the fuck away from him,” Eren growled, pulling his bag off of his shoulders. “ Now. ”
Laughter echoed in the small landing, but he wasn’t amused. He swung his bag, heavy with his old, bulky laptop and three cans of Monster Energy. The first guy went down, taken off guard, but the second grabbed the bag and tugged so hard that Eren fell to his knees.
Before he could process the change in perspective, the second guy dropped like a fly, and the sophomore took off up the stairs.
“Armin, are you hurt?”
Eren’s chest tightened, squeezing the breath out of him.
Mikasa .
“I’m fine.”
Eren stared at the floor, listening to the shuffling as they moved. It dawned on him that he was trapped. If not in the stairwell, then in the building. If not today, then for the next two years.
He’d never wanted to be hallucinating so badly in his life. Well, in this one, anyway.
“You’re the new kid,” Mikasa said somewhere behind him.
He nodded, not daring to look at her.
“And the Disney World guy!” Armin exclaimed. “It is a small world after all.”
“Yeah,” Eren agreed quietly.
“Thanks for your help,” Armin said. “We’re going to get ice cream, if you want to come?”
Eren pushed himself up, refusing to show his face. He picked up his backpack, and threw it over his shoulder. Without a word, he hurried up the stairs.
Behind him, Mikasa said, “What a dick.”
Surprisingly, even to himself, Eren huffed a single laugh as he pushed through the exit.
~*~
It started one day in the library, when Eren stayed late after class to avoid going home. One eleven year old brother he could handle, but when said brother’s friends were over? No thank you.
He’d been flipping through a comic book, music playing in his headphones, when he felt eyes on him. Then again the next day on the bus as he stared out the window. And again on Monday in the cafeteria.
He ignored it. At some point, someone had dubbed him freak boy . Now, they were all waiting for him to do something, anything that would make good gossip. Anything that could fuel their flames.
It felt so trivial to Eren.
What’s new?
He felt it wherever we went, so he didn’t think about who else might be watching him in the crowd. Until they changed their strategy.
“We’re going to be friends,” Armin announced as he sat down at the mostly-empty lunch table.
Eren looked up, lips parting with nothing to say.
Mikasa slid in beside Armin, eyes narrowed with skepticism as she observed Eren across the table.
“I’m Armin. This is Mikasa,” Armin said.
“And you’re freak boy ,” Mikasa added.
Eren pressed his lips together and pushed his lunch around the plate in front of him. This was so incredibly cruel. Since the day he first remembered , he’d wondered: why ? Now it seemed the answer was torture.
Selfishly, he wanted his friends back. Unfortunately, he knew he didn’t deserve that. He’d hurt them in ways he couldn’t comprehend in this new life. How unfair it would be to take advantage of their blissful ignorance.
“Yup, that’s me,” Eren agreed. “Big freak. Generally awful human being. And I’m allergic to friendship, so you should go.”
“I hear some allergies go away with exposure therapy,” Armin said with a small smile.
“No, I’m deathly allergic.”
Armin’s lips fell. “W-well, if you change your mind… We’re going to see Colossus on Friday night. I have a third ticket. Very minimal talking.”
Eren kept his eyes on his plate. There was no way he could finish eating now. He wasn’t sure he would be able to keep anything down.
“Let’s go,” Mikasa mumbled..
And they were gone.
~*~
Maybe Eren was a masochist, no matter what life he lived. He could barely reason with himself as to why he was standing outside of the theater downtown. He knew that any time spent in their presence was sure to end painfully. Yet, here he was.
“You came!” Armin cheered as he got out of the passenger seat of the old car Mikasa drove them over in. He hurried across the parking lot to meet Eren by the wall covered in framed posters. Mikasa followed, less eager.
Eren’s eyes scanned over her, latching on to the details: her pigtails, dark lipstick, layers of necklaces, and long flowing skirt. He nearly stopped breathing. It was so different, but… nice.
Her eyes hardened. He averted his gaze.
“Uh, yeah. I love these movies,” Eren said, though he avoided Armin’s face, as well.
“Us, too,” Armin chirped, guiding them into the building.
Loaded with popcorn and drinks, they shuffled into their seats. Eren found himself in the middle, to Mikasa’s distaste. Armin refused to acknowledge it.
As promised, no one spoke as the film rolled on the screen. Armin mindlessly shovelled popcorn into his mouth while Eren and Mikasa sat in mild discomfort beside each other. Eren tried his best to focus on the movie, but he didn’t know what he’d expected to happen. All he could think about was how sweet Mikasa’s perfume smelled, how her eyes sparkled in the dark.
What he’d put her through.
In the end, he left without knowing a single name or plot point.
“That was amazing!” Armin said with a grin. “Oh my god, that plot twist! I’m going straight to the forums when I get home.”
Eren almost smiled. He couldn’t deny it was nice to see him so happy, at peace. Safe.
That is, until he stepped off of the curb without looking. Eren shot forward, yanking him back before the speeding car could get to him. The high beams flashed over their faces as they stumbled onto the grass. Mikasa gasped as she caught up behind them, then pushed Eren aside to make sure her best friend was okay. Once confident, she looked back over her shoulder.
“You saved him.”
“Again,” Armin breathed.
Eren shrugged. The last thing he wanted was for it to be a big deal.
It was.
Armin and Mikasa refused to leave him alone from that evening on.
~*~
It was a summer afternoon, a few weeks before senior year, that Eren noticed something different in the way Mikasa looked at him.
They were lounging in Armin’s basement, each of them doing something different. Armin was reading on the floor, Mikasa had nail polish bottles sprawled across the coffee table, and Eren lounged on the couch with his headphones on as he lost himself in thought. They’d grown comfortable as a trio, naturally, as was their fate, it seemed.
Things weren’t quite the same, Eren found. At a core level, he recognized the people in front of him, but they’d been shaped by a different world. He supposed the same was true of himself. Yet, they still worked together.
He found that it was easier to make them happy than to dwell on lives they were blind to. And if it filled some of the gaping crater in his chest, he didn’t mind.
Armin slid a bookmark into his paperback and pushed himself up to go to the bathroom. The movement caught Eren’s attention, and he turned his head to catch the tail end of his retreat. Mikasa looked up from the table, and they found each other’s eyes. Neither spoke for a moment, Mikasa blowing on her wet nails. Eren slid his headphones down around his neck.
“What are you listening to?” she asked.
“The new HISTORIA album.”
Her brows lifted. “You like HISTORIA?”
“Yeah, they’re a solid band.”
“I loved their last album.”
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
“What about this one?”
“I haven’t heard it yet.”
Eren fiddled with the cord on his headphones. “Well… Listen to it. If you like it, I’ll get us tickets for their show in Orlando.”
“Tickets for who?” Armin asked as he re-entered the room.
“HISTORIA,” Mikasa answered.
Armin’s nose scrunched. “Not my favourite.”
“Just us then,” Eren said with a crooked smile..
Mikasa’s eyes danced with something that made Eren’s chest flutter.
~*~
The concert turned into late night dinner, which bled into a stroll along the beach until the sun came up. Eren couldn’t remember the last time he’d had so much fun. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen Mikasa so happy. It suited her, he thought.
Which was how it began. An old story on a new page.
Armin settled into his third-wheel role with zero complaints. And when Eren called him out for listening to HISTORIA on the bus one day, he smiled innocently.
Things were good. So good. Wonderful, even. For the first time in the two thousand years these feelings had existed, Eren was allowed to feel them. Openly, honestly. Deeply. He was allowed to bask in her affection, to melt into her and tell her what she really meant to him. If he shed a tear, he told her the air was dry.
Years passed them by, and Eren almost forgot about their failed first love. He’d nearly tricked himself into writing it all off as silly dreams, again. Maybe he could have deluded himself into believing that for real. Maybe.
Except he should have known better.
One night, just shy of three in the morning, Mikasa shot up in bed, covered in sweat. Eren stirred, squinting into the dark to try and find her silhouette.
“What’s wrong?” he whispered.
She shook, and his heart sank as he laid his hand on her trembling arm. In an instant, he wrapped himself around her from behind, holding her close. She sniffled, but didn’t say anything. With his soft, soothing whispers, she calmed enough to lay down, to fall asleep in his arms again. Eren stared at the ceiling for the rest of the night.
When he brought it up in the morning, she simply said, “I don’t really remember. It was just scary.”
Eren prayed to whatever higher power existed these days. Let her be.
But, the only deity who favoured him was gone.
Mikasa woke up in a panic more often over the months, and Eren cursed the universe for hurting her again. Especially when he was so powerless to fix it, stuck watching her stare off into the distance as whatever visions she saw plagued her in the daytime.
“Is it crazy if I think my dreams might be… real?” she asked one day over dinner, breaking the silence.
Eren paused, then swallowed his half-chewed mouthful of food. “What do you mean?”
“Like…” Her eyes glossed over again. “Nevermind.”
“Tell me. I’m not judging you.”
She took a breath and collected herself. “I keep having these dreams… about this whole other… life. It just feels… too real.”
Eren’s heart pounded in his chest, but he focused on stabbing chicken and lettuce. “Maybe it is? Or maybe this is your call to write a best selling novel.”
Mikasa stared down at her plate. “You’re in them. Armin too.”
“Well, the human brain can’t make new people. So maybe we’re your stand-ins?”
She peeked up at him, and it took all of his willpower to meet her stare. He smiled, and her lips curved weakly.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
He wasn’t, but she would be better not knowing the truth. She deserved peace.
~*~
Months later, Eren woke up alone. When he reached out to Mikasa’s side of the bed, it was cold. She was nowhere in the apartment. No note, no text. Her location sharing had been turned off hours ago. Eren jumped immediately to the worst case scenario.
She didn’t pick up the phone. She didn’t respond to his texts. He had no clue where she’d gone. He could only hope she’d show up for their movie night with Armin that evening.
To his relief, she did. Though it was soon replaced with unease. By the time they settled into their seats—Armin in the middle—she still hadn’t looked at him.
Armin leaned over and whispered, “What did you do?”
Eren shrugged, but his best friend simply wasn’t buying it. Especially not when Mikasa had still barely acknowledged Eren’s presence by the time they were seated in a booth for dinner after the movie.
“C’mon, Mikasa. I know Eren’s a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he loves you,” Armin pleaded.
Eren couldn’t argue.
Mikasa took a sip of her drink.
“Tell me what he did. He makes some bad decisions sometimes, but he usually has a reason.”
It was then that she looked at Eren, directly in the eyes. She didn’t say a word, but he could see it on her face. He knew exactly what she was thinking. His blood turned to ice.
“Something stupid,” he said, catching the twitch of her brows. “I’ll make it up to her.”
Armin nodded. “That’s the spirit.”
Eren kept his eyes on the girl across the table, though she continued avoiding him. To his discomfort, she did so quite successfully, until Armin left for the night, and they stood silently in the parking lot by Eren’s car.
The sun had set not too long ago, but he wasn’t quite ready to go home. Still, he opened the door for her, eyes soft and pleading. She caved far easier than he expected.
When they pulled up to the beach, her brows knit tightly together. She studied the man in the driver’s seat, uncertain. He reached into the back seat to grab her a light sweater, then started out into the sand and towards the water. A few minutes passed before she joined him by the gentle waves crashing on the shore.
“How’s your book coming along?” he asked.
She pulled the sweater tighter around her. “I still haven’t decided on the genre. Not sure about fiction.”
Eren stared into the distance, watching the twinkling lights from boats out on the horizon. She took another step toward the water, breeze blowing her hair behind her, and his eyes flickered to her frame.
“I’m so confused.” she whispered.
Eren’s heart broke for her. He might have been the only one to understand this unique strain of grief, and yet he hadn’t given her a space to process it. He should have known she’d want to face the music.
“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked, and she turned to look at him with wide eyes. His defenses were down, now. The pain, raw and blistering, was hers to know if she wished it.
Her lip trembled. “Is it real?”
He closed his eyes as they prickled with tears, then nodded. He managed a shaky breath, but promptly stopped breathing altogether when trembling fingers grazed his neck.
“Am I going to wake up there again?”
A sob broke in Eren’s throat, his arms winding tight around her like she might disappear any moment, his head shaking. He’d given her ignorance before, and it had only twisted the knife.
“No.”
Her tears flowed, thick and abundant as she pressed her face into his chest. Her hands clawed at his shirt, his skin, his hair. He squeezed her tight, kissing the top of her head. She shook, legs unable to hold her weight any longer. Eren slowly lowered them to their knees and brushed the hair out of her wet face.
“You’re… Oh my god, Eren…” she sobbed.
He smiled, sad and afraid. “Do you hate me?”
She sniffled, choked on a harsh sob, and then pressed herself as close to him as she possibly could, not a care in the world if her boots were filling with sand.
“Never,” she said through her shoulder-shaking tears. “You’re here, Eren. It’s a fresh start, Eren. We have a life together, Eren. You’re twenty-six, Eren.”
A fond laugh almost bubbled to the surface, but he was too busy trying to kiss her senseless, tasting the salt of their tears against their lips.
The world, beautiful and cruel, had brought them together again.
He would let nothing ruin it this time.
Not even fate.
~*~
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