Sometimes you need to sleep, sleep a lot. Not to escape, but to rest your soul from your feelings. Because everything, absolutely everything devours you. Completely.
—Brain

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@lydiaryinfinite
Sometimes you need to sleep, sleep a lot. Not to escape, but to rest your soul from your feelings. Because everything, absolutely everything devours you. Completely.
—Brain
Rintik
Kali ini hujan turun terus menerus, ingat ku tahun lalu kau masih ada…
Namun kau tumbang, dibawah rintik hujan aku menemanimu untuk kembali bangkit…
Gemuruh rintik itu mampu membuat ku hancur, membuat ku terisak, melihat mu yang kuat menjadi lemah, melihat mu segar menjadi layu…
Rintik demi rintik aku berdo’a agar ada keajaiban untuk mu dari Pemilik mu, namun tak kunjung keajaiban itu hadir, malah kau semakin layu dan layu…
7 bulan berjalan, ternyata kau benar-benar tumbang tak tumbuh kembali, tak lagi bersama ku, tak lagi di sisiku, tak lagi melihat mu menua …
Aku tidak tahu, apakah kita akan bertemu kembali?
Aku tidak tahu, apakah kau tau aku sayang pada mu?
Aku tidak tahu, dan takkan pernah tau akan seperti apa tanpa mu…
Wahai rintik, sejukkan ia disana
Sampaikan kalimat pada nya, bahwa aku menyayangi nya dan selalu dia berarti sampai kapan pun untuk diri ku 🤍
So, far
Punya banyak pinta, banyak ingin dan banyak ragu…
Tapi apa yang kulakukan? Bukannya mendekatkan diri kepada sang Empunya dan merayu Nya dengan tulus dan hangat..
Aku malah semakin menjauh, dan berpaling dari Nya..
Sungguh dungu nya aku, tak pandai merayu tak pandai mendekat, tapi sejuta keinginan ingin diraih, serumit ragu ingin di yakinkan…
A Letter to Self
Dear Future Me,
As I write this letter, my mind drifts to the deepest recesses of what it means to live a life of true meaning. Right now, I stand on the edge of the unknown, with a vision in my heart and a longing for something that feels both timeless and elusive. I feel the urgency of the moment, but also the understanding that this is not just a race to accomplish, but a journey of becoming.
I do not know where I will be when you read this letter, but I know that you are the culmination of all the choices I make today. The person you have become is the result of the small, quiet moments of reflection, the moments of profound silence, and the decisions to push through even when I felt lost. I hope you have not lost touch with the essence of who you are, for the journey ahead is not just about what we achieve, but about the way we evolve at the deepest level.
Health: A Sacred Vessel for the Soul At the core of my being is the understanding that health is not just the absence of illness but a sacred vessel that supports the unfolding of my purpose. It is not simply about eating the right foods or maintaining a routine; it is about honoring the very body that houses my soul. I feel an increasing awareness that health is intertwined with spiritual vitality—that what I feed my body, mind, and spirit creates the energy from which all else flows. I have worked to care for my body as an act of reverence, to move with intention, to breathe deeply, and to eat with gratitude. Yet, I know that true health goes beyond the physical. It lies in accepting my vulnerabilities, in cultivating emotional resilience, and in nurturing the peace within.
I hope that, by the time you read this, you have transcended the common notion of health. Have you come to understand that true vitality is a sacred alignment of the physical, mental, and spiritual planes? Do you still honor your body with the same reverence that you once set as your intention? Health is a daily commitment to being whole in every aspect of yourself, and I trust that you’ve continued to care for your vessel with the wisdom that only deep reflection and experience can bring.
Creativity: The Expression of the Soul's Truth Creativity, for me, has become something far deeper than simply producing. It has become the expression of my soul's truth. Every word I write, every brushstroke I make, every idea I birth is not just a reflection of what I know, but a reflection of who I am. I’m no longer driven by the desire to merely create for recognition or external approval, but because it is through creation that I remember myself—the raw, untamed essence of my being.
I’ve come to see creativity as an act of surrender—to let go of control and allow the work to emerge from the deepest recesses of my heart. The journey of creativity has shown me that vulnerability is at its core, and it is only by being authentically exposed that I can produce something that truly resonates. I have faced the fear of judgment, the self-doubt that lingers like a shadow, but through it all, I have learned that creativity is not about perfection—it is about truth. The truth of who I am, in each moment, in each breath.
Have you, by now, been able to create freely, without the weight of self-imposed expectations? Have you allowed yourself to simply create for the sake of being rather than doing? I trust that by now, your creative spirit has transcended the confines of the mind and entered into the realm of pure expression, where the boundaries between creator and creation no longer exist. May you be forever unafraid to express what lives in the deepest places of your soul, regardless of the outcome, for in that expression lies your freedom.
Long-Term Vision: The Pursuit of Meaning Beyond Success When I look into the future, I don’t see a destination as much as I see a continuous unfolding. The world speaks of success, wealth, and status as though they are the ultimate goals of life, but I have come to realize that they are mere illusions compared to the true purpose of living. My vision is not simply to achieve, but to become. To become the person who is not just successful by external measures, but fulfilled at the deepest level. My goal is to live a life of meaning, one in which I serve not from a place of obligation, but from a place of love, generosity, and purpose.
This vision is not limited to material goals; it extends into the realm of soulful abundance—a life lived with presence, awareness, and a deep commitment to contributing something of real value to the world. I understand that I am not just here to exist but to leave a legacy—not one of grand monuments or accolades, but one of quiet impact, where the ripples of my actions touch lives in ways I may never fully see.
Have you reached a place where your vision is no longer shaped by what others expect but by the pull of your own heart? Have you found the courage to pursue a life that feels aligned with your soul’s deepest desires, regardless of how unconventional it may appear to others? I trust that you are living in harmony with your truth, and that your work, whatever it may be, is not just fulfilling but deeply connected to the greater good. In your daily actions, do you embody the very values you hold dear? I hope so. For success is not measured by what we accumulate, but by the love and light we bring into the world.
Facing the Abyss: The Inner Journey of Transformation The most profound aspect of my life’s journey is perhaps the one that is the most difficult to articulate—the internal transformation that takes place beneath the surface. This journey is not always visible to others, and sometimes, it is not even visible to me. But I know that this transformation is real. It is the shift from fear to courage, from lack to abundance, from confusion to clarity. It is the process of shedding old identities, beliefs, and limitations that no longer serve my highest self.
In these moments, when the world feels like it is crumbling or when doubt and fear grip my heart, I remember that true growth comes from surrendering—surrendering to the uncertainty of life, to the knowing that I do not have all the answers, and that I am not meant to. I have learned that trusting the process is the key to peace, and that in the darkest moments, there is always light waiting to emerge.
Have you fully surrendered to the unfolding of life, knowing that everything, even the most painful moments, is part of the grand design? Have you accepted that the challenges you’ve faced are not obstacles to overcome, but the very soil from which your wisdom and growth have sprouted? I trust that you’ve learned to let go of all that no longer serves you and embraced the unfolding of your true self, free from attachment to outcomes.
Relationships: The Sacred Dance of Connection The relationships I hold closest to my heart are the ones that remind me of who I am and why I’m here. These connections are not defined by superficial exchanges, but by the deep, sacred bond that exists between two souls. I’ve learned that love is not just an emotion, but a sacred act of vulnerability, a constant flow of giving and receiving, where both individuals are free to be their most authentic selves.
In these relationships, I have come to understand the importance of both self-love and love for others. I cannot truly love others if I do not first love and honor myself. This is a profound truth that continues to unfold. Have you, by now, mastered the art of presence—of truly being with others in moments of silence, joy, and grief? Have you let go of expectations and embraced the beauty of unconditional love? I trust that you have nurtured your relationships with the depth, care, and love they deserve.
The Unfolding Journey I cannot know exactly what the future holds. But I do know this: I am here to become. To evolve. To step into the fullest expression of my soul's purpose. This journey is not about destination, but about becoming more authentically me with every step I take. I trust that wherever you are, you are living in alignment with this deep truth.
May you look back with gratitude for the pain and the joy, for all that has shaped you into who you are today. And as you move forward, may you do so with courage, faith, and a deep, unshakable knowing that you are exactly where you need to be.
With all my love, faith, and trust in the unfolding of your journey,
Sincerely Yours
Alasanku bertahan
Dibanyak hal yang sudah terjadi di 2024 ini
Dengan lantang saya berkata,
Kalian adalah habluminanas yang Allah hadirkan untuk menguatkan saya
Terimakasih sudah menjadi obat terbaik buat saya bertahan✨, apalagi saat Allah mengambil orang tersayang saya, yang sudah 29 tahun saya panggil Mama 💛
Mungkin banyak orang bilang
Ih alay lo suka banget korea an!
Tapi sejauh saya suka korea dari 2007 sampai saat ini dan nanti, mereka benar-benar memberi bahagia ke saya ☺️
Sekali lagi, terimakasih ya ✨
Saat ku buka mata, sosok yang kucari sudah benar-benar tiada…
Merasa sedikit kekosongan & kehampaan pada diri ini, aku masih di sini
Merindukannya..
Rindu ku yang tak pernah padam untuk nya
Segala hal yang ku lakukan berulang, aku selalu mengakatakan “Everything will be okay”
Dan setiap setelah sujud ku, aku berdo’a
Suatu saat kita bisa bertemu lagi, dan menjadi versi yang lebih baik dari ini semua…
Djakarta, 05-12-24
Mam, sudah 3 bulan kamu ga ada dunia ini…
Sedih ku akan kehilangan mu memang sudah mereda mam, namun kini yang tersisa rindu ku pada mu…
Mam, melihat kamu kuat sampai akhir adalah sebuah kehebatan mu dan juga kesempatan ku & bapak untuk mendampingi mu…
Mam, I dunno akan semampu apa aku berjalan kedepan dalam menanggung rindu ini padamu…
Semoga do’a do’a yang selalu kau panjatkan selalu untuk kita bersama, bisa di dengar Tuhan & sampai ke langit ya mam…
Mam, seperti kata lagu nadin amizah
Seperti detak jantung yang bertaut, nyawaku nyala kar’na denganmu
Kini, meski kau jauh disana cinta mu & kasih mu selalu dalam setiap detak jantung ini serta aliran darah ini…
Jangan lupakan kami ya mam, maaf belum bisa sepenuhnya membahagiakan mu
Kini izinkan aku, melanjutkan mimpi mu yang tertunda dan mewujudkannya
Maaf jika aku selalu saja membuatmu sedih & kecewa, dalam hening & sepi ku rindu kamu. Dan dalam do’a selalu keselipkan nama mu agar bahagia disana & bapak agar Tuhan izinkan hidup lebih lama
Terima kasih mam, see u soon on next chapter of our life…
I want to be your mom, your daughter of you and bapak 💕💕
Hai Lydia,
Yuk banyak bersyukur, bersyukur atas segala hal yang sudah ada dan terjadi.
Ga semua hal harus sesuai inginmu
Karena semua hal yang terjadi pasti diluar selalu diluar dugaan mu
Bukan berarti sesuatu hal yang belum tercapai menjadi akhir dari segala nya
Mungkin saja Tuhan punya rencana lebih baik untuk kamu, dengan kapasitas yang kamu miliki
Tapi kamu harus ingat!
Jangan pernah lupa untuk berdoa dan berusaha dengan baik
Karena Tuhan selalu bersama dengan hambanya, yang tak lelah melakukan dan berusaha dalam hal baik 🧡
Hujan di Jumat…
Hari ini hujan turun terus menerus
Dan ntah kenapa, hati ini ikut merasa dituruni oleh hujan.
Bukan seharusnya hujan turun membuat kita semakin dekat dengan sang pencipta?
Namun cara ku mendekati dengan sang pencipta berbeda…
Perasaan ku dipenuhi dengan rasa tersentuh, yang ternyata agar diriku bisa beristigfar dengan Tuhan ku dan belajar untuk mendekati nya 🧡🫶
Tuhan kuat aku…
10 Nov 2022
Mentari hari ini begitu cerah, tapi tidak dengan tubuh dan langkah kaki.
Tubuh ini lelah, letih dan seperti tidak ada motivasi merasuki diri. Satu hal yang ingin dilakukan, istirahat sejenak.
Istirahat untuk mengembalikan semangat dan juga hasrat, namun yang terrealisasi hanya berdoa …
Tuhan Kuatkan aku
Pagi ini awan berwarna kelabu, awalnya membuat hati ku pun ikut kelabu. Namun saat kulihat di sela gedung pencakar langit, terdapat gunung yang menghiasi.
Tak kusangka, hati ku berubah haru dan menjadi bahagia.
Bahagia, bahwa Tuhan masih memberikan kesempatan ku dan juga kamu, untuk melangkah dan bercerita kembali di hari ini.
🫰🏻🥰
Langkah
Di bangunkan oleh kewajiban Dan di istirahatkan oleh segala kelelahan
Rutinas itu selalu berjalan, tanpa henti Dan memang seperti itu lah kira nya Rutinitas Makhluk hidup
Apalagi MANUSIA
Dengan segala Rutinitas, banyak jejak langkah yang tercipta.
Namun, satu hal yang ku sadari.. Bahwa langkah kaki ku masih begitu Acak, dan bahkan tak tau akan bertujuan akhir kemana…
Selama ini aku hanya melangkah berdasarkan kemana Angin akan membawa ku, tanpa aku tau kemana sebenarnya aku ingin Berakhir dengan langkah itu…
Dalam segala Rutinitas yang dijalani, pikiran ku ternyata kacau Hati ku bimbang Perasaan ku kacau
Karena aku tak tau, kemana sebenarnya aku Langkah ku akan bertuju dan berakhir
Kini pinta ku pada Sang Pemilik, berikan aku petunjuk untuk Tujuan Langkah ku ini
Kekeluargaan dalam petualangan
Sebuah petualangan memang memiliki sebuah kesan baik maupun buruk didalamnya, dimana ada anggota yang susah untuk di ajak kerja sama dan ada konflik-konflik lain yang timbul. Namun saat dikenang hal buruk itu pun akan menjadi sebuah cerita dengan kenangan manis yang sulit dilupakan. Spring Camp poster – TVing Mungkin kalian para penggemar Variety Show Korea berjudul New Journey to The west…
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I want it, but ...
I want it, but …
“Aku ingin begini, aku ingin begitu. Ingin ini itu banyak sekali, semua-semua dapat dikabulkan. Dapat dikabulkan dengan kantong ajaib…” Sebagai manusia yang dilahirkan dengan berbagai emosi, dan hasrat. Pastinya kita selalu tidak pernah puas dengan apa pun, sekalipun itu hal kecil meski kita sudah melakukannya dan finish. Pasti tetap ada rasa tidak puas yang muncul didalam benak dan pikiran,…
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Do'a untuk Sang Pagi
Do’a untuk Sang Pagi
Dokpri, Denpasar 2018 PUKUL 06.55 WIB Mulai terdengar suara knalpot motor yang sudah bersiap mengantarkan sang empunya bekerja, sepanjang perjalanan yang ditempuh mulut sang empu motor tak berhenti berkomat-kamit saat melihat sesuatu yang menarik dipenglihatannya. Komat-kamit yang terucap bukanlah sebuah mantra dari seorang dukun atau cenanyang lainnya, melainkan sebuah mantra berisikan…
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Celebration: 1st Years
Yeay, akhirnya satu tahun sudah bekerja di proyek ini.
Kalo diingat-ingat perjalanan untuk bisa bekerja disini prosesnya cukup panjang, dimana saya harus interview kesana-kemari dan ingat sekali saat itu sedang bulan Ramadhan. Saya berharap saat itu usaha puasa saya tidak sia-sia, sampai pada akhirnya dimana saya ditelpon oleh perusahaan lain untuk join. Namun saat itu saya ragu untuk…
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Ironocal of Pandemi
Haah… Ga kerasa saat ini sudah memasukin hampir setengah tahun dari 2020, banyak kejadian-kejadian di tahun ini. Dimulai di akhir 2019 dan memasuki awal 2020, dimana banjir melanda wilayah JABODETABEK hampir seluruhnya luluh lantak oleh Air Bah. Dan itu berangsur sampai dibulan februari, tidak lama peristiwa banjir melanda.
https://kolom.tempo.co/read/1314376/salah-urus-banjir-jakarta
Hadir…
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