LYNN @lynnsolaris - Tumblr Blog

Never have I felt actual deeply sorry, guilt, sorrow all that is meant to come with apologising

Until my partner, every sorry, no matter how small, it has come with all that,

Those words, not even a sentence has shook me to my core, has made me cry for the first time in some time. I know you say not to feel guilty, but I can’t feel anything but, I care about you, and I hurt you, I affected you. I can’t feel anything but guilt, and more than I have ever experienced.

I promise I’ll try get better

I promise, I’ll fix my major emotional problems, my numbness, my heavy suppression issues

I promise I’ll resolve what’s being suppressed, what my mind and body can’t physically handle

I promise I’ll try accept my own body to a degree

I’ll try to look in a mirror and not feel what I feel

I promise I’ll reach out to someone or something if I so need to

I’ll try be more social to those I already talk to

To make an effort to look people in eyes

To try look at my body and feel reasonably alright with it

To be more stable,

I’ll try not see myself as low as I do,

I’ll try to be okay