Love and Dust

{Just call me El} {21} {She/her} {Giant fucking lesbian} {I make monsters for a living ask me about it lol}

[wizard-email]

i am EVIL!!! no I don't want to join your found family please go away,,

[wizard-email]

I'm literally pointing a death lazer at you

[wizard-email]

*sobs*

[wizard-email]

stop asking about my dad

[dankmemeuniversity]

[caralarm-bicycles]

You can really sense the tumblr userbase aging

[funnytwittertweets]

[kingofthegringos-deactivated202]

I killed the rat king of New York and inherited his throne by right of conquest or whatever, but I never took the rat oaths so I can speak to and command rats and they are compelled to obey, but they formally elected a rat president last year. I don't have any formal power in their social hierarchy but I have very real concrete magical power over them. I guess the title gets passed to my eldest son unless a rat kills me at some point.

[kingofthegringos-deactivated202]

all I use my powers for is making rats salute me when I walk by and they all hate it

[grandpayaoi]

tramp stamp that says 'jesus wept'

[carouselcometh]

I’m a Barbie girl trapped in the abandoned mine shafts

[jori-like-jormungandr]

<|:) wizard

<\:) the cooler wizard

[thats-howthelightgets-in]

Just because your hat is tilted aside jauntily does not prove your superiority. My wizard hat is set neatly atop my head so that it is secure against strong breezes and someone condescendingly flicking the brim

[azzandra]

I can tell that people condescendingly flicking your brim is a recurring issue for you.

[hovfire]

noooooo don’t banish me from this realm i’m just a cute silly girl

[stillrun]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[natalieironside]

Oh, yeah? Well, what if I disguised myself as a wretched old beggar-woman and came to beg for food at your royal feast and then invoked the laws of hospitality to beg a small favor from the king and when you said "If it is in my power to grant your request, it shall be granted" I unmasked myself and said "Ah-ha! I ask for your throne and your daughter's hand in marriage!"? What would you do then? You wouldn't do shit. You're devastated right now.

[natalieironside]

You wish you could execute me so bad but your whole court just watched you get played for a sucker and not even a king can violate the laws of hospitality. You're shaking and crying rn.

[woefully-undercaffeinated]

I'd give you my chair, then apologize that my daughter's hand is hers, not mine, and therefore not within my power to give.

Crown's still mine.

[natalieironside]

By Brigantia this can't be happening

[failedaugment]

Mr Electric send him to the plinko and have him INCINERATED!!!!!!!

[valtsv]

you're just jealous because my vampirism gave me tapetum lucidum and yours didn't

[aroaceofthanes]

Hold up I have to Google something

[aroaceofthanes]

Okay, yeah I'm jealous

[hcnnibal]

u dont like grilla ? 🦍? ough ough?

[wizardpotions]

2022 wizard kissing world championships

[necrophagesaint]

shout out to every kind of curry dish ..... indian curry....thai curry.......japanese curry ... the kind with coconut milk and the kind without.......from the light yellow curry to the bodacious red to the rich brown ....... to the ones more soup like and the ones more gravy like.... to the ones with potatoes and to the ones with chickpeas.........this post is for you

[evilvillain123456789]

so now the beautiful winged androgyne is going to cut me with a sword of fire? and beat me with a rod of embers? and break me over a thousand-spoked wheel? and boil me in the fat of lambs and suckling calves? hmm? fucking typical.

[dankxsinatra]