Hello! Welcome to my blog. I most likely will post sporadically, but in the meantime, I'll just reblog and heart stuff. Any and all posts I make will most likely be essays where I ramble about my current hyperfixations.
An idea... Instead of Real Psychic Shawn... Fake Psychic Shawn and his partner Real Psychic Gus?
I was watching Let's Doo Wop It Again, and when Gus says something feels off about Shawn, Lassie's like "are we supposed to listen to your hunches too now" and i thought 𤯠maybe
Real Psychic Shawn AU where he finds out during The Tao Of Gus because the stupid "spiritual exercises" are so grating against his actual psychicness that it just skyrockets- his disdain for the whole thing unlocks his third eye. Peace and wellness be damned, my boy unlocked the other plane through Incredulousness and Irateness.
(Another Henry Revealed As Asshole fic but Real Psychic Shawn flavored this time)
āWhoa, dude, stop here.ā
āWhat?! Shawn, the Arbyās closes in like, fifteen minutes!ā
āWhat? Since when does Arbyās close in the middle of the day?ā
āI donāt know!ā
āJust- pull over, man. Iām getting a vibe.ā
Gus pulls The Blueberry over, parking in front of a set of small, run-down shops under apartment buildings. He peers around Shawnās head and reads the sign. Miss Ivanaās Nirvana. āA psychic shop?ā
āYeah.ā Shawn tries to look through the curtains of the window. āI feel like I should go in there, man.ā
āYouāre already psychic, why would you need a reading?ā
āIām not⦠sure.ā Shawn tilts his head, squinting. Heās still not great with figuring out what the feelings-only parts of his abilities are. Theyāre a lot more complicated than picking out details in a shaky vision, or catching hidden meanings in words, or even catching snippets of another personās thoughts- which heās also not great at, yet, but heās good enough to know Jules is just being nice when she says Buzzās wifeās homemade tapioca is good. He didnāt know someone could gag so intensely in their mind without it showing on their face.
The feelings-only are different. Itās like when his ADHD acts up and makes him forget why he entered a room, or where he put something he was just holding, or the thing Gus told him was really important to remember before talking to someone he probably shouldnāt be talking to. He knows something is just there, just out of reach of his comprehension, and itās almost like a physical, tangible blockage that he could potentially push away but he just canāt quite get the right footing.
āMaybe sheās a fraud who needs exposing? You still canāt talk to ghosts, right?ā
āStill not even sure if they exist, Gus. All those websites you send me say different things. Plus, I think if spirits really existed and could demand revenge on their behalf thereād be a lot less white people in the world.ā
Gus nods. āAlright, but make it fast, or Iām leaving you here.ā
āFast. Got it.ā
Shawn steps out of the car and opens the shop door. Itās dimly lit, cluttered, and thereās a section with big velvet curtains and a table covered in classic fortune-telling props. The air smells like incense and sage, making him cough a little.
āWelcome to my Nirvana,ā a young blond woman says in a thick non-specific Eastern European accent, sweeping otherwise soundlessly out from behind a shelf cluttered with crystals. āYou are looking for something.ā
āYeah. Your real accent.ā Shawn angles his head at her with a disappointed look.Ā
She straightens up, her incredibly numerous amounts of jewelry clanking together like sheās a windchime. āHowād you do that?ā
He brings a hand up to his head. āIām a psychic detective. You can take your pick on which of those told me the accent was fake.ā
It was the psychic part.
āSo⦠what? Are you scoping out the competition?ā She crosses her arms. āBecause I am not packing up shop. This is the first time Iāve made a steady living from this, you know.ā
āLook, honestly I donāt know what Iām doing here either. I got a psychic vibe while driving by and now my buddy is about to abandon me so he can go get at least five meat-piled sandwiches for half off, and I canāt even blame him!ā Shawn looks around. āItās not like I donāt have crystals like these, or tried this uh⦠burning stuff.ā
āIncense.ā Ivana raises an eyebrow. āWhat, are you new to being psychic?ā
āNo! ⦠Maybe. Are you?ā
āIāve had the gift as long as I can remember.ā She sits down at the table. āNow are you gonna buy anything, or are you just going to stand there making my shop smell like Axe deodorant?ā
āFor your information, itās Axe body spray. And you call yourself psychic.ā He scoffs. But that twists something in his gut, his voicing doubt. It feels⦠bad.Ā
āYouāre the one using his hand to convince me you can hear the spirits.āĀ
āSo there are spirits.ā
āDuh? Did you come in here just to learn how to fake it better?ā
āDo you think Iām faking?ā
āMaybe.ā
āNo you donāt.ā
āIf I think youāre real then you should know I am too.ā
ā... Fair.ā Shawn looks out the door to see Gus literally pulling away. āWh- Gus!ā
āI saw that coming.ā
āAnd you didnāt warn me, wh- I was looking forward to those sandwiches! Man⦠so much for helping a fellow psychic out.ā
āYouāre like, ten years older than me. You shouldāve been able to see it.ā
āOkay first of all, thereās no way Iām ten years older than you. Second of all, I⦠am working on the future-seeing thing, still.ā
Ivana leans forward, resting her elbows heavily on her table. āYou have a very bright presence, for being so annoying and childish.ā
āThank you. Itās because my hair is a blessing.ā
āNo⦠itās because you carry the gratitude of many.ā Her eyes trail over Shawn, unfocused and glassy. āWhyāre you here?ā
Shawn steps back. That look is really unnerving. He hopes he doesnāt look like that when heās analyzing people. āBecause my partner just drove off without me, and I donāt want to walk anywhere.ā
Ivana rolls her eyes. āCome here. Iām going to do a tarot reading for you.ā
āUhhh, no. No, I donāt do that stuff.ā
āYouāre a psychic who doesnāt do tarot?ā
āNo, I do not! Or crystal balls, unless I think the client will pay extra for that. Then I have five.ā
āSit down and pick a card.ā She says it so forcefully that Shawn just obeys- because a psychic pull told him too, and definitely not because he was intimidated by for a second. Not at all. He goes to pick one- and finds himself picking three, leaving them face-down, knowing how this is meant to go even though heās never done this before.
She flips the one on Shawnās left over first. āDo you know the meanings?ā
Shawn actually thinks he does. He doesnāt want to. āUh, no.ā
āSo thatās why youāre here. Youāre denying something that the spirits wish you werenāt. This is The Emperor, reversed. Someone in authority, abusing that authority.ā
āNo, I donāt think so. The Chief is actually very lenient with us.ā He knows itās not talking about The Chief. Or Lassie. Or even the Psych office landlord who keeps trying to raise their rent before Shawn reminds him that more than half his properties arenāt up to code and Shawn can prove it if he has to.
āThis card is showing us something from the past, something already done. What was. The next to are what to do, and what to avoid.ā Ivana flips over the middle card. āThe Three of Cups.ā
āThat oneās not so bad.ā He sees images of him and Gus getting tacos together, him bringing Jules a smoothie, him breaking into Lassieās house to restock the manās peanut butter because he always forgets to and Shawn wants a reliable store of PB in every house he regularly infiltrates, dammit. āItās uh, quality time, right? With people I care about.ā
It doesnāt escape his notice that someone is missing from those visions.
āNow Iām starting to believe you.ā Ivana flips the last one over. āThe Six of Swords, reversed.ā
Shawn laughs, even as something twists in his gut and squeezes in his chest. āThat oneās a mistake.ā
āItās advice. Youāre being warned not to leave something big in your life unresolved.ā
āYeah, I got that. But uh, itād sort of ruin⦠everything, so I think Iām going to leave now.ā He gets up. āAnd Iām-Iām sure yours and the⦠spirits, intentions are good, but thereās no way in hell Iām following that advice.ā
Ivana looks at him in disbelief. āAre you serious?ā
āFor once, yes.ā Shawn turns, sticking his hands in his pockets and walking to the door. He freezes just before opening it, sucking in a sharp breath as his hands fly to his head.
Gus is ten years old, listening to Shawn complain about something Henry did. Gus is nodding, listening, but Shawn hears him think āThereās no way itās that bad.ā
Mrs. Guster stands in the doorway, talking to Henry, while five-year-old Shawn and Gus play in the living room. āNow Iāve heard around town about your⦠unusual way of raising your son, and I want your word right now that youāll leave mine out of that sort of thing, because if my Burton comes home and tells me that you did anything he says Shawn talks about, I wonāt be bringing him around here again.ā
More recent, a case- their thirteen year high school reunion. Gus looks at Shawn and says āThatās easy for you to say, Shawn. No-one had any expectations you would amount to greatness.ā
Shawnās whole body feels tingly, and he has to shake himself to get feeling back into his limbs. Ivana is standing next to him, wide-eyed. āWhat was that?ā
āUm.ā Shawn looks down at his hands to make sure heās here, really here. āI donāt-ā
āWas that a vision? Iāve never had one that strong.ā
āReally? I get those all the time.ā
āYouāre lying.ā
āYeah, a little.ā Shawn shakes himself again. āNot totally.ā
āI told you, youāre being warned. Something is blocking you from contacting the spirits who want to speak to you, I can feel it. Itās something emotional, and theyāre begging you to resolve it.ā
āI thought you said you donāt get strong visions.ā
āIām better at mind-reading and tarot, itās true. But-ā She moves to touch him, and Shawn pulls away. āBut I can feel a very strong presence around you while standing this close. Hovering, worrying, desperate.ā
āGreat. Thatās-thatās exactly what I want. Another looming presence in my life pushing me to do stuff.ā Shawn huffs. āAwfully hypocritical of them. Can you just, tell me how to avoid that kind of thing happening to me again?ā
āHow the hell am I supposed to know? Youāre clearly a different kind of psychic than I am.ā
āWhat, are we dogs? Thereās different breeds?ā
āItās time to leave my shop.ā
She shoves him out the door, literally, just as Gus pulls back up. Shawn takes a moment to compose himself, looking anywhere but The Blueberry, before getting in- or trying to.
āDude, you didnāt leave any room for me to sit down.ā
āThereās room right there.ā
āIām not some twig anymore, man, I canāt fit in a seat literally piled with sandwiches.ā
āYouāre the one who decided to abandon me for a talk with a fraud.ā
āSheās not a fraud, Gus.ā Shawn tosses all the sandwiches into the backseat, despite Gusās whine of protest. āSheās the real deal.ā
āSeriously?ā
āSeriously. I could feel it, which was super freaky. At one point I just mentioned she might be a fraud and it felt like that time I ate those expired mini-tacos from your freezer.ā
āEugh!ā
āPoint is⦠apparently I was drawn in there because spirits are real, and⦠I canāt talk to them. Yet.ā
āSo⦠what? They lead you somewhere you could get advice?ā
āSort of. She canāt talk directly either, but she⦠gave me a tarot reading.ā
āI told you we needed to invest in a set.ā
āNot until we find one with either all of the Thundercats on each card, or themed around Tears for Fears songs.ā
āYou can commission custom sets from local artists, Shawn.ā
āReally? ⦠Sounds expensive.ā
āWhatād your reading say, Shawn?ā
āRight. That.ā Shawn shifts in his seat as Gus pulls away. āI uh⦠so, weird part first, knew what the cards meant just by looking at them.ā
āWhich makes sense since youāre psychic.ā
āYeah, yeah. And uh⦠they were kinda about⦠my dad.ā
Gus waits for Shawn to go on. Shawn licks his lips first, suddenly feeling very, very trapped.
ā... Shawn?ā Gus glances over, concern starting to seep into his expression. āWhatād they say about your dad? ⦠Is he dying?ā
āNo, no. Nothing that bad.ā So, so bad. Henry just- gone. Forever. Shawn canāt even imagine it, and he doesnāt want to imagine it, for all he might fight with his dad. āBut uh⦠Gus, how-how much do you remember, about the uh⦠training, I did, growing up?ā
āWhat?ā
āThe cop stuff he made me do.ā
āI donāt know. I know I thought it was kinda intense.ā
āYeah, but⦠what specifically? Do you remember?ā
āWell⦠I remember the stuff when we were scouts, with the rocket and all that.ā
āRight.ā
āAnd him using a lot of stories about him and his partners to give us lessons.ā
āYeah.ā
āAnd I guess I remember you talking a lot about him making you earn desserts and stuff.ā
ā... Yeah.ā Shawn leans his head back against the headrest of the seat. āDo you remember the case at our reunion?ā
āOf course I remember it, it almost ruined all my hard work!ā
āRemember going through the yearbooks?ā
āShawn, I know youāre stalling by trying to make me piece everything together myself. What does this have to do with your dad?ā
Shawn sighs, looking out the window and pressing the top of his tongue to the center of his top lip before saying, āYou said no-one had any expectations of greatness for me growing up.ā
āI did? ⦠I did.ā Gusās concern melts into guilt. āBut your dad did, didnāt he? Iām sorry, Shawn, in the moment I just totally forgot.ā
āItās alright, man, I-I didnāt say anything to correct you or anything. ⦠But I guess Iām⦠trying to get a read on how much I need to tell you, to⦠I donāt know, unclog my psychic senses or whatever.ā
āWhat?ā
ā... Iām supposed to open up about, Gus. The spirits want me to tell you, and Jules, and even Lassie about all the stuff from when I was a kid.ā
āWow. ⦠Isnāt that kinda-ā
āMy personal hell? Yes, it is.ā Shawn thumps his head against the window and watches the sidewalks, counting hats. āWhich they know, apparently. So I donāt know why theyāre asking me to do that. Iām kind of doing just fine without talking to any spirits, anyway.ā
But you could be doing better. Heās not sure if the thought is some psychic intuition or just him knowing the truth, and frankly he doesnāt care. It is true. Itās probably always true. Itās a thought that, nine times out of ten, comes into his mind alongside the frowning image of an old man with a rough voice and disappointment just dripping from the words.
āShawn, did your dadā¦ā
He doesnāt need to be psychic to know where Gusās train of thought is going. āNo, not like that. He never hit me. At most he-he handled me a little rough while booking me for the car thing. But thatās why I donāt wanna do this, man, I just- I know everyone will make it a big thing and itās⦠itās not not a big thing, but itās a big thing for me, you know? Itās not really anybodyās else's business.ā
Even though the spirits disagree.
ā... You should probably take some time to think about how you wanna do this, then.ā Gus glances over again, Shawn can see it in the reflection in the window. āI know this kind of thing isnāt easy for you.ā
āThatās an understatement,ā Shawn says with a huffed and bitter chuckle. God, he hates this. These ugly, nasty feelings that bubble up whenever he thinks about it. He drowned in these feelings for years and it was the worst time in his life, and because he couldnāt get his head above the water he started trying to push the water itself below and now it just sits there waiting for him to stop pushing it-
He has to suck in a breath as the feeling of actual water in his lungs passes over him, and he reaches to slap Gusās hands without looking away from the window. āStop the car!ā
āWha-ā
āI totally just got a vibe, man, I think someone drowned around here, recently!ā
Shawn groans, tossing a crumpled paper ball at the trash can without looking. It goes right in. āGus-ā
āItās been a month, Shawn. I know I said to take some time and think about how youāll do it, but I know you and I know when you go from taking time to putting something off.ā
āGus, donāt be your coffee mug handle that broke when I picked it up.ā
āShawn, Iām serious. You basically got spiritually kidnapped into a creepy tarot reading specifically because you needed to talk about it, and now youāre not talking about it!ā
āI have dinner with my dad in two days, Gus. I donāt really want to churn up all that stuff before I have to go help him prepare a fish or something again, I hate that enough.ā
āSo cancel.ā
āAlready tried- stop that.ā
āStop what?ā
āI can totally read your mind right now, Gus, itās like youāre literally shouting at me. Every time I talk about my dad now all your alarm bells go off, and thatās exactly what I donāt want!ā
āSince when are you so protective of how people think of him?!ā
āI donāt know! I just- I donāt want the three of you going around thinking heās a monster or something all the time! Even if he kinda is. Man, you know Iām not good at figuring these kinds of complicated feelings out! Stop asking me to!ā
āNot until we make some progress.ā
ā... Fine. Fine, I will⦠talk to everyone, as a group, here in the office, next week. Happy?ā
āAs I can be in the situation.ā
āItās not a situation.ā
āYes it is.ā
āNo, it isnāt.ā
āI can do this all day, Shawn.ā
āWell that is a complete waste of your time, and especially of mine!ā
Shawn is sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees and hands clasped together resting against his lips, one leg shaking up and down and making a fast taptaptaptaptap sound against the floor as he waits. Gus sits next to him on the couch, and gives Shawn a pat on the shoulder.
āItās going to be good for you in the long run,ā Gus says for the millionth time that day.
āMan, you know Iād rather have things be good for me in the short run.ā
They hear the door open, and both look up as Jules and Lassiter enter the office. Jules looks immediately concerned, while Lassiter looks more annoyed than anything.
āShawn? Whatās wrong, you look nervous. Is this is about a case?ā
āNot uh, not quite.ā Shawn gestures for Jules and Lassiter to sit in the armchairs set up across from the couch. They do, with Lassiter rolling his eyes as he sits. Shawn is kind of grateful for the irritation- itās more comfortable than the way Gus and Jules are looking at him. More familiar.
āWhat is this about, Spencer?ā
āWell, I uhā¦ā Shawn opens his mouth to continue, but he just canāt. He just⦠canāt.
Gus, as always, is there to put together the missing pieces and fill in the gaps. āShawn recently had a⦠metaphysical revelation,ā Gus says. āHeās been dabbling in new ways to hone his abilities, and he was given the advice to unblock some parts of his mind by sharing some things.ā
Shawn points at Gus to confirm it.
āWhat, like group therapy? This is ridiculous.ā
āBelieve me Lassie, Iām not happy about it either.ā Shawn laughs, hollow, and his leg starts shaking faster. āBut uh, every time I think about not doing this, preferably ever, I get a real kick in the ass by the spirits.ā Mostly visions of people defending his dad, or his dad making all those claims about how heās not responsible for why Shawn is the way he is, and god does the reoccuring vision of his dad claiming āA good cop trusts his gut, his instincts,ā make Shawn just⦠mad.
āShawn⦠what is this about?ā Jules reaches out and puts a hand on his leg, stilling it. āAre you okay?ā
āYes. Maybe. ⦠I-I donātā¦ā Shawn takes a deep breath. āSo itās uh⦠about my dad.ā
Lassiter scoffs.
āYou know, with him⦠getting involved in cases as much as he does, and uh⦠Gus, I-I canāt do this.ā
āYes, you can. I believe in you.ā
āSpit it out, Spencer, after a shift I want to go home, not hang out in a fire hazard.ā
āThe spirits want me to tell you guys about my dad and how he raised me,ā Shawn forces out. āApparently keeping it to myself is ābad for meā or something. And I uh⦠I donāt really know where to begin, so just⦠bear with me here.ā
Lassiter eyes Shawn suspiciously. āRaised you how?ā
ā... I guess Iāll start with us, with this.ā Shawn lets out a deep breath. āLassie, you remember when my mom did your psych eval?ā
āUnfortunately.ā
āShe told you she has an eidetic, tonal, memory.ā
āHow did you kn-ā
āMy dad, has an eidetic visual memory. I⦠have both.ā Shawn pulls his hands apart and puts his hands to his temples and plasters on a grin thatās probably the least convincing fake smile heās ever given. āAnd he knew it, real early on, before I can even remember.ā
Jules gasps softly. āOh, Shawn, but the things we see on the job-ā
āItās not that bad,ā he says quickly. āTrust me Jules, Iām fine with all that. But uh, on top of that, when I was really young my mom diagnosed me as also being hyperobservant.ā
Lassiter stands up and points to Shawn. āAha! Thatās it! I knew it, I knew you had some secret-ā
āLassie, sit down, Iām also genuinely psychic.ā
āYeah, right-ā
āYouāre excited to have caught me but youāre also thinking about how many arrests will be overturned or reexamined if you turn me in. You went to a bar on Saturday and ran into someone you liked in highschool, but h- uh, she-ā Shawn glances at Jules and squints for a second, then nods. She knows, Lassie told her, good for him. āHe, was already married so you went back home and looked into getting a dog for the rest of the night.ā
That wipes the triumph off Lassiterās face, and gets his ass back in the chair.
Shawn rides the high of that for just a moment before Gus clears his throat and Shawn remembers why theyāre all here. He looks back down at his knees. āSo uh⦠yes, I have a lot going on up here is what Iām trying to say.ā He gestures at his head, waving his hand in a circle around his skull. āAnd pretty much from birth my dad figured, hey, Iāll train the kid to be the ultimate detective. The job was everything to him, and uh⦠he made sure it was everything to me, too.ā
āThatās a pretty heavy expectation for a kid to carry,ā Jules says in sympathy. āEspecially with your dad having such a high-standing reputation.ā
āNo kidding,ā Shawn laughs the same empty laugh. āSo a uh⦠a lot, oh my childhood, was training. Stuff like uh⦠like even when Gus and I would play hide-and-seek, you know? Heād turn it into a lesson about how to keep a perp from seeing or hearing me if I was sneaking up on them, or-or blindfolding me, and telling me to figure out what he was doing around me just by the sounds, stuff like that.ā
āSounds fun to me,ā Lassiter says.
āIt was, usually. And I did really, really want to be a cop, just like him, but it was still prettyā¦ā Shawn claps his hands back together and purses his lips, searching for the words, the feeling. āPretty overkill, a lot of times. I mean, come on, teaching me to-to forge stuff in case I ever went undercover? I was six. I didnāt even know that kind of thing wasnāt normal until I started going over to Gusās house. And then I started wanting to explore more things, and⦠started kind of⦠thinking about how Gus and my lives were differentā¦ā
Shawn takes another deep breath. āLike, his parents didnāt bury his Easter eggs underground and leave broken glass and a tarp over it and expect him to dig them up on his own.ā
Lassiter sits up straighter, and Jules pales. Gus lets out a soft āOh my god.ā
Shawn grips his hands together. He hates this, he hates it, he doesnāt want them look at him like this, he doesnāt want them to know about this-
āSpencer, thatās a serious allegation of mistreatment and child endangerment,ā Lassiter warns.
āIām not- this isnāt a case, Lassie. Iām not trying to get my dad in trouble, and certainly not trying to get him arrested, alright? Iām just⦠trying to get a few things off my chest, out into the open.ā Shawn clears his throat. āSo, yeah. At Gusās house he didnāt have to do that, or-or get locked in a car trunk in the afternoon to learn how to kick out a taillight, or have to hear about kids spatter brains on driveways when he brought a comic book home.ā
Jules makes a sound like she might vomit. āAnd he knew youād always remember all of that, perfectly?ā
ā... Yeah. And it uh⦠didnāt make me love my whole⦠deal.ā Shawn flicks a hand up at his head again. āHe never believed in psychics, so that was fine, but the other stuff⦠I dunno. I guess he thought it meant I just shouldnāt have been a kid or something, but I know he still thinks of me as a kid anyway.ā
āCanāt always blame him.ā But Lassiterās words are as hollow as Shawnās previous laughs, an understanding dawning in his eyes. āSo he spent your life training you to be a cop, and never let you consider anything else.ā
Shawn nods. āGot upset if I even mentioned it. Ever. But he also wouldnāt let me do stuff like take karate, which is weird, because I think a cop who knows martial arts seems super dope but I guess he thought a gun would be enough.ā
āDid he train you in firearms too?ā
āOh, yeah. And it turns out being psychic gives you crazy good long-distance vision, which is neat, so I got really good really fast. He always freaked out when he thought I was in danger, still does, but he wanted me to be in the middle of shootouts someday at the same time. Heād have me run away from him in the middle of the woods to teach me avoidance tactics, and then lecture me for doing the same thing because I didnāt want to kill fish with him.ā
Jules and Lassiter share a look, and both lean forward at the same time.
āThat wasnāt okay, Shawn. Any of it,ā Jules says firmly. āAnd if talking about this is helping you clear something up with your powers, weāll listen to every example youāve got.ā
Shawn leans away from them a bit, mouth parting, and looks over at Gus.Ā
Gus is crying. Not in the full-face-scrunch whistling tea kettle way he usually does. Just quiet, horrified tears over all the things he just missed during their shared childhood.
āHey, stop that.ā Shawn shakes Gus by the shoulder. āDonāt you dare feel guilty, Gus.ā
āI canāt help it,ā Gus sniffles. Jules reaches behind her for Gusās desk and passes some tissues over. āThank you.ā
āIām not- Iām not looking for guilt or pity.ā Shawn looks each one of them in the eyes. āIām not looking for anything, just for the spirits to leave me alone about this, okay?ā
āRight.ā Lassiter is looking at Shawn in a way Shawn isnāt used to. He tries to reach out, just a little, to get a glimpse of what Lassie is actually thinking about him right now. Itās like trying to reach for something in a dream, where your arms donāt really exist and neither does what youāre trying to grab, and focusing too hard wakes you up before you can grab it but focusing too little sweeps you back into nonsense. Shawn canāt quite get a grip.
Shawn sniffs a little, and then nods, and then nods again harder to make his whole body move with the motion. āSo uh⦠just, telling you guys everything, then? Because that could take a while, with the whole⦠memory, thing.ā
āAs much as you need to tell us. No more, no less.ā Jules offers him her hand to hold. āAnd Shawn, I just want to say that Iām really, really honored that you came to us with this. That youāre trusting us, even though this is hard for you.ā
āOf course, I trust you guys. Iād trust you both with my life, literally. If we got body-swapped Iād be completely relaxed knowing youāre probably treating it even better than I do.ā
āThatās not really a high bar, Spencer.ā
āEven my hair? Itās a high bar to trust you with styling my hair, Lassie.ā
Lassiter considers this, and then nods in agreement.
Shawn takes one more second, and then looks up fully. āTime to get into the details, I guess.ā
When Shawn wakes up the next morning, groggy and sleep deprived and feeling wrung-out like a hand towel in an industrial kitchen, he hears his grandpaās voice.
When Henry Spencer walks into the SBPD the next morning, Juliet OāHara elbows him hard in the gut as she walks by, and while Henry is still leaning against the front desk corner catching his breath Carlton Lassiter walks up and yanks him away from the desk to throw him out the door.
āWhat the hell-!ā
āFor your sake, we better not see you around this station for at least a week. Any sooner and I canāt guarantee you leaving it without OāHara pumping you full of lead.ā
āWh-ā
āI mean it, Henry. Stay out. Or else.ā Henry learns what Or else entails a week later when he follows Shawn into the station and hell breaks loose.
new obsession alert!! so! i started watching/rewatching psych and this time around i got the itch so iāve been thinking about it nonstop now and all i can think of is a real fake psychic shawn au inspired by this post and some fics i read. so imagine shawn starts off faking it but a while into the charade he ends up with real psychic abilities (the how is still up in the air) and it opens up doors to the supernatural world of santa barbara which is far more prevalent than they think. in this, shawn now has to deal with real visions, gus is literally magic head now bc he can somehow help shawn focus his visions so heās not just getting bombarded, juliet is an empath with a sense for danger and she learns to hone it, and lassie is a natural shield for psychic abilities which is big for shawn bc heās the only one who will make all the visions go away (and yes maybe this is shassie leaning) but yeah, as i think of it more I might expand on it and maybe do some art/fics too who knows
shawn gets retrocognition but he barely notices bc it really just enhances his perception abilities, it isnāt until he gets actual prophetic visions that he notices that somethingās going on
sympathy for lassiter comes with age because it isnāt until youāve held a steady job for a while that you begin to fully conceptualize just how annoying shawn spencer would be as a coworker
psych au where everything is the exact same except:
shawn gains the ability to actually see ghosts after a really bad motorcycle accident nearly kills him. he still predominantly uses his eidetic memory/keen senses to solve crimes (even if a ghost tells him the culprit, he has to prove it. mostly.), but sometimes his head-start on lassie is genuinely supernatural.
we find out at the end of s1 that henry, who otherwise has an identical relationship to shawn as seen in the show, is actually dead. the original reason shawn came back to santa barbara was for henryās funeral + to figure out what to do with the house his dad left himā¦and now currently haunts.
gus is THE funniest man alive for having his best friend of thirty years, who he fully plans to grow old beside and who he loves like a sibling, in his phone as "Shawn (Work)"
on the surface it might seem like Gus is the holder of the singular brain cell, but upon further examination it becomes clear that he and Shawn actually engage in a hot-potato-esque shared custody arrangement