im scared. someone hold me.
and after this they will fall more in love

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@lyracass
im scared. someone hold me.
and after this they will fall more in love
I can’t do this anymore 😭💀
someone has a good sydcarmy fic recommendations ? i’m living with « rules for fake dating an italian » like for 5th time and i want a new before the season drops
also the daisy series, I love so much. I think I re-read it like 3 times
someone has a good sydcarmy fic recommendations ? i’m living with « rules for fake dating an italian » like for 5th time and i want a new before the season drops
can fx released the trailer??
ER Barbie and Ken 🩷 (inspired by a post made by @kingdoncrumbs)
Long days call for secret naps — ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
this has been in my mind for months so i made a venn diagram to visualize my thoughts!!
heavily inspired by this great post by @aralisj
and if i said i luv them??
(I'm full of shit, he is an uncontrollable menace, and she is at her wit's end.)
A Recipe for the Fall of Carmen Berzatto
Later, when Carmy lies awake in his bed in his dark room, after midnight, the time of the day when the city is the most serene, he thinks of Sydney. Of course, he does. And he’s thinking of her scrunchie, hidden deep inside his bedside table. How tempting it is to take it out of its confinement. Just to have it in his hands. Just to have some piece of her close when his mind is wreaking havoc on him. —Chapter 5 - Sprite
Things about sydcarmy that makes too much fucking sense thematically.
That a guy that has felt antagonized all his life by his family and peers because of his sensibility and artistic pursuits would fall in love with the only person that presented in his life like an ally to these pursuits and that this woman also fell in love with him tasting his sensitivity in that hamachi dish.
That the guy that is so disconnected with his emotions due to trauma would be attracted to (and therefore scared of) the girl that “allows herself to care and feel things” By falling in love with her, abx being close to her, Carmen is symbolically in the path to integrating his own feelings, the good and the bad. This is something that was pointed out by Richie “you are not fully integrated”
That a guy that feels trapped and haunted by his past would fall in love with the girl that is a complete outsider to all the systems that keep him in the past.
That the guy was abused by a corrupt culinary industry based on taking away peoples ideas and exploit them, would then fell for the girl who wants to defeat that system and create a safe environment where everyone's voice is heard and everyone can grow.
That the guy who doesn't value resources over his own perceived safety would fell in love with the girl who wants resources for everyone.
That the guy who's ego is based on his capacity to do this high-end culinary procedures would fell in love with the girl that is too fucking smart she can figure out in 5 minutes something that it took a chef under him 1 full month to solve. That he cannot help himself but to fall in love with the person that bested him.
That the guy who didn't had any friends growing up would feel attracted to the telepathy and sincronicity he has with Sydney. They are actually “in tune” with each other as if they had been actual friends forever. Even when he had a full girlfriend experience on the side and that could have solved that need of having someone “like a friend” to trust and talk (mind you Claire said they didn't even talked as kids). Carmy now has Marcus as a friend too. Sydneys friendship and approval the one thing he really keeps chasing. He wants to know about her apartment and her dad, he wants to comfort her while she is having a crisis. He wants to be for her the friend he never had growing up. In that same lane the girl that felt alone at her fathers house fell for the idea of having a real partner despite being terrified of being a burden to anybody.
That the girl that considers herself a waste of time and space would fell for the guy that worshipers the floor she walks in, that admires her as a person and a friend and would literally dedicate his time and the building he inherent to make sure she gets to live her dreams. And if he, the best chef in the world, sees the value on her, she might believe him.
That the girl who is very self-conscious of being observed is being loved by a guy that stares at her and creates dishes based on her clothes, but for every 10 times we see Carmy blatantly staring at her, Syd refuses to meet her gaze in almost all of them.
That the girl who feels guilty for a parent that cares too much and sacrificed so much is loved by a guy whose mother didn't care or considered him at all. One feels guilty for being cared for, the other feels unworthy of the little care they got. Uggghhh
That they are both trapped in the freeze response.
That the girl who tries to see the good in everyone is loved by the guy that blames himself for the bad he sees in others. But if Sydney is able to see the good in him, he might believe her.
That the guy who has been begging his whole life for a crumb of compassion would fell (and be terrified of) the first girl that felt compassion and care for him without him ever asking her too, without him ever telling her about his big sorrows.
That the guy that had lived his whole life under rules of abuse and coercion he just had to take, would be loved by the girl that would never hold his flaws against him (as some other vampires we know of) and prioritized his well-being over her everything.
I wonder if the reason why Carmy didn’t get to accompany and comfort Sydney at the hospital is because, right now, that could trigger the shit out of him.
Please chime in because I’m conflicted about it. I’m thinking of that scene with Donna and Carmy in Fishes. When he begs her to let him stay with her and try to comfort her after she has been crying. Carmy in that moment was thinking like a kid asking for emotional regulation. A distressed parent is a signal of danger for a kid (and their own emotional regulation) so the kid believes is their responsibility to calm the parent down in order to achieve that emotional security again. In an ideal situation the parent comforts the child too, so the kid doesn’t keep themselves in alert for another moment of distress. But this never happens with Donna. This is the meaning behind the “there is always another shoe” and why Nat said she would make herself sick to make Donna feel batter. Sometimes children of abuse carry this behaviors into romantic relationships.
So, thinking on Carmy and Syd, I do believe Syd is Carmy’s real peace and that’s why he always has managed to stay regulated when it’s just the two of them. I think he has been very solid while comforting her and encouraging her, like before opening day.
But Carmen hasn’t gone to therapy yet. He hasn’t realized his partners emotions are not his responsibility. So what would had happened when Carmen saw Sydney break down in front of him, for real this time, all this insecurities that he knows she has been hiding from him? Sure I believe he would had comforted her and put aside his anxiety to do what she needs, but afterwards? Would had he become hyper vigilant on her mood? I think that kind of thing could make Syd feel asphyxiated. Idk let me know what you think.
Syd works hard to maintain an outward appearance of peace and she was very close to having a panic attack in front of Carmy about her dad and she doesn’t want him to see her like that for sure.
Also think she’s been kind of hiding out from her family and Emmanuel might not like the idea of Carmy (pretty strong hints of that) and she’s not ready for those worlds to collide just yet.
Carmy isn’t in a good place and Syd knows it (she brings up the elephant in the room - Mikey) so he’s not getting introduced to her dad to cause more worry?
Syd has a bunch of “stuff” just like Carmy she’s been bottling. Her concern to Carmy is about the restaurant and potatoes because she doesn’t know what to do (she also did this briefly on Friends & Family when Carmy was locked in the walk-in and Richie stepped in) because she’s emotionally overwhelmed.
For better or worse, Syd still cares a lot about what Carmy thinks of her, even though he has frustrated her. She’s also making him wait until she’s ready (just as he has done to her) before she’ll let him get to know that side of her.
I think Carmy thinks he could handle taking on Syd’s stuff because it would let him take the focus off himself, particularly if he’s not the cause of it. But, he knows he is?
He practically cried when Syd told him off in Groundhogs. And she lets him have it in Goodbye, too, but he’s willing to be more emotionally honest at that point because she had flat-out stopped speaking to him.
Adding complexity is that Syd hates to have people worry about her and Carmy would love to be able to worry about Syd.
Syd associates this with being a burden, which I think would be tough for a partner to get shut out emotionally but that’s kind of what Syd has always done? But we’ve also seen Carmy capable of being very kind and patient and he doesn’t push her to open up to him and respects that boundary while still trying to support her which I’ve always taken as a very positive sign.
Carmy also has ideas of self-sufficiency that drove him to his crash-out. It’s hyper-independence but Syd’s is more to unburden her father (who loves her unconditionally) or those around her while Carmy’s motive was to show them all to earn their love/approval.
These two things kind of play off each other in a way I could see being positive? He realizes he doesn’t have to earn love, she realizes it’s good to let others share her burdens?
But because these two don’t talk about this kind of stuff, Syd is now finding herself in a similar position where her hyper-independence might get her in hot water.
Maybe this is the opportunity for Carmy to truly be her friend and for them to both really look at each other up close, including at their stuff and if he wants her to be successful to finally be honest about how he’s messed up and what was motivating it?
I think she might open up if he does that? For them to realize the ways in which they’re deeply similar and how that plays off each other in good and bad ways? They’ve set up the ability to do that with Goodbye.
Sydney focus dynamics I’ll like to see in s5
Richie acting like Sydney’s wing man. Either she starts dating someone or he picks up Marcus and Luca still being into her. And he is determined to create trials to determine this men worthiness. His advice is either really good or straight up awful, nothing in between. He is overly protective and keeps talking about his years of experience with love and how he is generous with his wisdom. Syd tells him to shove that wisdom back where the sun doesn’t shine.
Richie and Sydney start on a theater club on the weekends.
Tina acting as a counselor to Syd in girly/romantic stuff.
The crew goes to a baseball game.
We get to see Sydney’s friends and her special interests.
Nat is struggling with motherhood and asks Sydney to watch Sophie while Nat takes a nap. Syd gets to overcome her fear of babies. I think it would be beautiful if she decides to call Carmen or her dad while she swings the baby on her arms.
Chantel and Syd going out.
Syd having a date/relationship.
Emmanuel and her getting to actually talk, maybe about Sydney’s mother.
Sydney opening up to non vampiric people.
Carmen and Sydney talking in the phone ever so often.
Cícero, the Berzatto, Tina and Marcus buying her Christmas presents. They include handwritten cards that are sappy and Sydney decides to open them in private and keeps reading them ever so often to give herself courage.
Sydney in a grief therapy group or therapy.
She gets a pet.
Carmen and her meet in a restaurant, by accident.
Carmen and Sydney watching Bobs burgers and or Kitchen Confidential.
There is off course passionate love making that I would like for Carmen and Syd but I think that goes without saying.
Sooo, I’ve been thinking about this.. (idk if someone mentioned this but I have short term memory)
What if after a couple of weeks before Christmas, or even before thanksgiving Sydney and Carmy talk about how I’ll be his leaving of the restaurant, how will be fit in this new chapter of his life or at least try to find something that doesn’t make him feel like he’s burning. Then Sydney start saying that she understands the situation (even if she doesn’t want to admit that he is leaving her) (I’m not sure if that will happen but I want to be delulu)but what if leaving the restaurant is not the solution, that maybe all the things he will try will not make him happy.
That those things could be a solution ignore what he is really trying to pass to the next page, (Donna, Mikey, Claire (be real she is part of this)) and that what he really needs to find himself and his happiness is talk about he felt at those moments in his life, with her mom, with Mikey’s grave, and even with the stupid sweater of Claire (I don’t remember if he put it in his car ) pass the chapter of the chaos of his life, and maybe with that he’ll stop sabotaging himself and will not quitting cooking. Cooking with the bears (syd), find happiness in the franchise with Ebra, paying the money, stop running away, being an uncle, maybe falling in love of cooking again and also with someone that make him feel seen, and understandable.
It’s kinda late sooo sry for the grammar mistakes. I have a lot of crazy theories but I like to think that something of this could happen.
Now’s the perfect time to start your ‘Rules For (fake) Dating an Italian’ Christmas reread by the way!!
Sydcarmy fics
Hi! Well I have a lot of free time during these couple of weeks and I want to share the fics that I love or the ones that I can read on repeat. Some of them are finished, but others are in process, but I hope you find someone you like or if there is someone you want to share. 🩵
Favs ☀️
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Long fics (more than 10k words)
Rules For (fake) Dating an Italian by poorlittlegreenie. ☀️☀️
WANTED: Female, aged 20-30, to be my date for Christmas eve dinner with my Italian-American family. Must be willing to eat my mom’s cooking. No physical intimacy required. No strings attached—I will drive you home after. 4pm-10pm, 12/24. Salary negotiable. Call Carmen: (773) 555-0901.
OR: The one in which Sydney just needs a job, and Carmy will die before he proves Richie right.
Scraping Together by mila_milax ☀️
Is it fucked up to ask out the caterer at your brother’s funeral? Probably. But today is already pretty fucked up, and he’s done it now.
All This Nothing (Has Meant More to Me Than So Many Somethings) by turbulenthandholding ☀️
With a good enough review, Jimmy gave them until the end of the year to save The Bear; Carmy and Syd have one month left to manage it. Carmy turns to Reddit for advice and makes a new friend.
Chef, This Is a Cry for Help by Emma_Swan3 ☀️
They had a whole lot of history in New York — late nights, trauma, and a kitchen that chewed them up. But this isn’t New York. It’s Chicago. And when Sydney walks into The Beef asking for a job, Carmen tells her to get the fuck out. Because whatever held them together back then doesn’t mean shit now. Not after how it ended.
a Sunday kind of love by amaneeeta ☀️
Following the season finale, Sydney continues to struggle with Carmy's decision to leave The Bear. Meanwhile, Carmy is determined to hold his promise to pay off the restaurant's debt before time runs out, all while trying to repair his relationship with Sydney.
emotionally involved by stellarsupreme
Alternate Timeline AU. Every Thursday, college student Sydney Adamu orders her perfect pizza from Mikey's. Every Thursday, Carmen Berzatto makes it, remembering her custom order and the old, sentimental name, "Princess." But when Sydney is late and walks into a nearly empty restaurant, the comfortable distance between them dissolves. For the first time, Carmen is forced to acknowledge the quiet ritual, and Sydney realizes she's not just ordering food—she's become a perfect variable in his messed-up schedule.
To come alive at night, to die in the morning by Cosmicserenity
Sydney receives a hard blow after being friends-with-benefits with Carmy for three months.
connecting flights by puzzlepuppy
emmanuel and sydney's relationship takes a hit after sheridan road does the same, so he enlists the help of her "favorite" chef carmy to break her out of her funk.
how will i know? by sutherlins ☀️
Carmy finds a scribbled first draft of a resignation from Sydney, in an effort to make her stay he asks how long she has before Shapiro needs an answer from her.
One month. One month to show Sydney why she should stay and not lose her forever.
Night Shift by lalalena22 ☀️
He presses his back against the cold wall, feeling like he’s about to die. The panic attacks have gotten worse as well. They’re longer now, more difficult to control. He doesn’t try to picture Sydney’s face, because if he does, he would see her like the night that she left. Angry, and sad, and disappointed. Thinking about her doesn’t help anymore. It makes it even worse. And it’s his fucking fault.
bend and break by elkscrossing
“What the fuck is this?” Carmy snarled from behind her, slamming into the office and tossing his phone on the desk. Sydney’s heart sank as she registered the message in front of her.
"Hey Carman," the email read, somehow misspelling Carmy’s name, "It’s Adam. I’m sure Syd’s told you about the CDC position I’ve offered her at my new place. I just want you to know that it isn’t personal – she’s so fucking talented, you know? She’s going places, and I want to help her get there. I couldn’t let that kind of talent go without a fight. I hope you understand that it’s the best thing for her – hopefully no hard feelings?"
Daisy by debutante_gurl ☀️
Around her the world blurs. She wears a hole in the tile pacing, worrying about everything all at once.About how they’ve only been together three months, and they just started telling people, and she only just moved out, and they are in so much debt, and they don’t have their stars, and they are so fucking young, and, and, and… She is crying now, messy tears rolling down her cheeks. When the timer goes off she can hardly see. Pregnant, the test reads in thick black font.
Chaos Theory by MissAmyShay ☀️
“You know, I think we have this tendency to think of chaos as a bad thing. Like, if something’s chaotic it must be harmful, and it must be changed, or…ordered. But I think chaos itself is…natural, you know? The world around us thrives on chaos. Small changes make big differences. The butterfly effect, I guess. And, at its best, out of chaos comes creativity. I think it’s more about how we respond to the chaos that counts.”
down in the heart by sutherlins ☀️
Post S3 Finale. After almost losing Sydney to Shapiro, Carmy is determined to make a change. Eager to rebuild their friendship, they decide to spend the day together at Carmy's doing some recipe development but an accidental peek inside Carmy's notebook changes everything for them.
I Wouldn't Even Want To Do This W/o You by Charismaticc
Taking place right after the events of Season 3. Carmen finds Sydney in the midst of having her panic attack. This eventually leads to her revealing to Carmen that she has until the end of the week to let Adam Shapiro know if she will take his offer, making it seven days until Carmen knows if he will lose Sydney.
Take it from here by BlaquePantheress
As fate would have it, their paths cross. With Carmy looking for a sous and Sydney in need of a place to stay, what starts out as a simple arrangement turns into an unexpected partnership where both of them fulfill each other in ways they haven't experienced before.
My World, It Moves So Fast Today by seizethemothertruckingday
Carmen Berzatto, son of the president of the united states. He hates being in the public eye, everyday he faces scrutiny as a result of his mothers bad decisions. It doesn't get any easier, and as the election approaches it's only getting worse.
for the children who’ve made her by emilybrontay
Her parents are in the kitchen of The Bear. Where else would they be? Sydney’s dicing onions, Carmen’s grating garlic. For a moment Eulalia just stands there in the doorway, watching them, letting how much she loves them fill up her whole heart. Her mother says something, too quiet for Eulalia to hear, and her father laughs, and nudges her shoulder with his own.
i could never give you peace (would it be enough?) by make_easter_gay_again & melodicchaos
Olivia Berzatto has been her student for nearly a month and a half now, and she learned early on that the girl lived with her dad, and that her dad was a chef. How many chefs named Berzatto did Sydney know of?
“Carmen,” he says, his hand extended to her. “I’ve heard rave reviews.”
“Likewise,” Sydney blurts.
Run And Let It In by Shareece (kimbob)
What if Carmy had run into Sydney at the supermarket run-down with Claire? Set after episode 1.
State Of Flux by sutherlins ☀️
When Carmy’s piece of shit father finally dies, the news doesn’t come through family. It’s through a lawyer. An older man with a painter’s brush mustache, a Saint Laurent checkered cashmere suit, and a Chopard on his wrist. The inheritance is clear, his ill-gotten estate is to be split between his remaining biological children. When Carmy can see the dreams he’d be able to make a reality with that cash fade away he’d blurted out that he was engaged without thinking. Engaged to Sydney. The only issue with Carmy’s grand plan was Sydney hadn’t spoke to him since he left The Bear. Almost two years ago.
Sweet Home Charleston by browneyesparker
After being gone for years, Carmy goes home to Charleston for his sister's wedding. While he's there, he has to spend time with Syd, someone he has a history with and has been trying to forget ever since she didn't show up in Chicago when she was supposed to.
But unfortunately for him, he's still in love with her, and seeing her again is going to undo all the progress he thinks he's made.
Right Down the Line by shewalksoverme
The notification showed itself in a little box: Carmen’s iPhone would like to share one photo.
She frowned, peered around the place. She didn’t know a Carmen. That name was unusual. They couldn’t hack her phone through an Airdrop, could they? Syd was almost sure of that.
Simmer, Melt, Boil, Fire by gingervalentine1
If he looked up the definition of love, he'd find him and Sydney. Carmy and Sydney through some days (and months).
Atoll by BlaquePantheress
Sydney Adamu has somehow ended up running a restaurant with her idol of cooking and man she has complicated feelings for. The process has ignited a coping mechanism she thought she left behind after Sheridan Road but has resurfaced in her moments of uncertainty. The ruthless but faceless character has a way of bringing her to her knees and yet she’s the only one who knows it exist. We call it: The feeling.
this heart, with all its changing hues by puzzlepuppy
rewind in time, sydney and carmen meet at CIA. it's not an instant friendship.
Heavy by sans_souci7
She tried to imagine how it would go but in every scenario telling someone that everything about their lives was fake and wrong ended with one or both of them in psychiatric treatment and Gemma, their daughter in the care of others and not her unfit, delusional parents. Sydney shifted the car into reverse and glanced at the child sleeping in her car seat. “We’ll have to figure it out ourselves.”
Tales In The Fast Lane by lecham44 ☀️
Sydney is a journalist and Carmy is a Formula 1 driver both desperately in need of kick-starting their careers.
I used to hear a simple song (that was until you came along) by Umightbinthewrongbuisnessrogers ☀️
When she looks up she's met immediately with bright, striking blue eyes staring at her from under a table. Or, what if Sydney and Carmen met when they were kids?
Chef Whites by ChampagneTasteBeerMoney
“The fuck is this?”
“Uh. Looks like a–marriage license. With both our names on it.”
Providence by tvfanatic97
Sydney and Carmy spend a night together just before she graduates from CIA. She never expected to see him again, much less wind up working at his family restaurant in Chicago.
The Awful Truth by mansfield
Sydney Adamu never meant to come back to Chicago. But after Emmanuel’s retirement, her mother’s flower shop became hers, and obligation began to look a lot like an ending.Then Carmen Berzatto started coming in. Every week, same order, same recipient—Claire Dunlap. He was polite, quiet, always looking like he was apologizing for existing. Sydney didn’t expect to notice him, but somehow, she did. And then one morning, another man walks in with the same order—same arrangement, same woman, same address.
This Time, Cigarettes Won't Cut It by s3nse0furg3ncy
Carmy has always avoided therapy. So afraid to go. Scared to prod at unhealed wounds. and to unearth more emotional baggage that he's quite frankly too tired to tend to.
One More Time by ADelicateEcosystem (clonesimpextra)
Following the review, Carmy and Sydney have to navigate a new challenge that could mean the end, or the beginning, of everything.
i've got you to let me down by icouldnotsee (herprettysleeper)
"You know when you're in college," she says, "and you meet someone in your dorm during the first week, and it's crazy and you're starved for human connection and you're attached at the hip and then like three years later you realize how many times they've made you cry?"
It's like that.
make me your future history by jdjupiter
He’s smiling, but she can tell it’s the smile he plasters on when he wants to tell her to fuck off. Carmy laughs, seemingly at himself, and shrugs. “You know what?” “What,” Sydney responds, more of a statement than a question. “This wine is starting to taste like ‘fuck it’,” he says, and they both laugh big, belly laughs. “So, fuck it. Go ahead and play the song, DJ.”
In Another Life by Only_one_brain_cell ☀️
Au where Mikey calls Carmy instead of ending his life, Carmy helps Mikey when he needs Carmy the most. Especially at The Beef where they both decide to hire someone else, that someone else however is none other then Sydney Adamu.
True Blue by littlemisslost
post s3 finale Carmy has an identity crisis and Sydney has an emotional crisis. the bear family tries it’s best.
Keeping Everything Professional by Only_one_brain_cell
Carmy and Sydney start dating, they just aren’t telling anyone.
Let Me Take Care Of You by Oncer993, Questionslovefears (Oncer993)
When Sydney gets a call that shatters her entire day, nearly her whole world, she sets out to face it alone. Carmy refuses to allow that. Despite her insisting that she wants to be alone and she can handle it, he sees through her.
soul meets body by turbulenthandholding
Emmanuel is unable to make himself say the words to his daughter: you, somewhere, have a soulmate, and the permanent marks of their life will be written across your skin for all of yours, just as your life is being written on theirs. No, I don't know who or how to find them. No, I don't know why. It's like magic, baby, in this sad and awful world of ours where magic does not exist and bad things happen all of the time.
Bear Cubs (Part One) by mila_milax ☀️
Five times Natalie's baby brings Carmy and Sydney closer together.
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short fics coming soon :))