I'm in a clinic and my station here has only a max of 10 teens, of which we are currently 8/10
We eat together in the group room and for about a month I forced myself to, but it was awful.
After one of us catched the virus and we quarantined we had to eat in our rooms, and it was heaven compared to eating together even though my two roomies are still triggering.
About two weeks ago it was announced that we can eat in the group room again, which I finally decided I didn't want to go through anymore.
I tried to explain my issue but the adults in charge of us didn't listen, they said they knew what I meant but just made it even more clear that they had no clue. Just the whole argument of me, while crying, trying to just explain it and them blocking entirely and getting louder and louder was so incredibly stressing that I had to cope with sh.
And every day I once again had to do it all over, to the same people, explain why I really can't eat in the group room.
They told me I can eat in my room if I stay with the others for at least 5 minutes, which is so incredibly stupid. It's not the eating in front of them, it's the sound they make.
How in hell would it make sense to just sit there and listen??
They kept telling me to "just try" and "you have to train it", just thinking about the shit they said makes me want to cry so bad.
Do you think I never tried? Do you think I just from day one was able to perfectly avoid every trigger?? Do you think it will get better if you force me to go through that immense stress EVERY DAY???
They didn't take my "I can't do it" seriously, they didn't take my boundaries seriously, as if I was a child throwing a tantrum over brokkoli.
Even after I let my mother call them and explain it once again they didn't stop, they only did after I went to one of the doctors and explained it to her. She was the FIRST adult in this whole situation there to actually listen to how awful it makes me feel and how it's not just hatred of sounds, it seriously triggers me to the edge of a panic attack.
And that trying to "cure" it by letting myself get triggered will only make it worse and not better in any possible way.
Gosh I fucking hate people.
The whole solution would be to just LET ME EAT ALONE, it's not hard, it's not of ANY difficulty to them.
They just got me a new trauma and now I'm very sure I'll never be able to eat in a group ever again.
Thanks for your "help", fuck you