Ichigo: I just watched Mr. Urahara, a grown-ass man, say, "Oh this will be very efficient," and spray febreze right at the ceiling fan, and have it blow back directly in his face.
Grimmjow: Standing next to sunflowers makes me feel weak like "look at this fucking flower. This damned thing is two feet taller than I am." Fucking flower is winning and I am losing.
Ichigo: Wow, you are so not ready to hear about trees.
Notes: This is a Christmas gift-fic for the wonderful @m34gs and @suknas!
âCome on Ichi-nii, you need to come with us to Mr. Uraharaâs,â Yuzuâs plea rang out from the other side of the door. All Ichigo could do was sigh, disappointed in the situation, but mostly himself.
âSorry Yuzu, but I need to take a pass. Need to get ahead on next semesterââ
âBullshit, Ichigo!â That was Karin, in all her fiery glory, yelling from the other side, probably squished right next to Yuzu and up on her toes. Quietly, in tones hushed and words unintelligible from the other side of the door, Ichigo heard Yuzu say something to her twin.
âFine. Whatever,â Karin said, this time tone curt and sharp. âHave fun spending Christmas Eve by yourself then.â
Ichigo could say with certainty, he definitely would not, but that was on a need-to-know basis, and his sisters, who he loved dearly and with all of his current Grinch-sized heart, didnât. He would mope tonight, feelings awash and weird for no discernible reasonâor at least, not one he cared to put a name (or face) toâand be back to mostly normal tomorrow.
Kon screeched something about going in his place, sweeping out the door, slamming it shut behind, and that was that. Footsteps walkedâor stomped, in Karinâs caseâaway. Good enough for now, though heâd feel bad for making them mad later. He had to get over getting mad at himself first.
Sure, Uraharaâs would be lively and probably fun, but, knowing him, it would also be a big schmoozing event, and Ichigo wasnât in the mood for that. And the war. If Ichigo had to hear one more thing about the war that theyâd won, heâd lose his goddamned mind.
The past two years had been brutal, and he was stillâŚrecovering. Thatâs what he called it, anyway. Giving distance to some placesâKiskue Uraharaâs on the very top of the âplaces to avoidâ list, circled, starred, and highlighted. Some wounds still too fresh in his mind.
Sure, Urahara was a certified genius, but Ichigo got tried of being the pawn in everyoneâs game. Was it so bad to want something low-stakes for once? Maybe a fight could just be a fight. Just like he wanted.
But whatever.
Besides, it wasnât like heâd be there anyway. He and a certain blue-haired arrancar hadnât spoken often after the end of the warâIchigo made sure to go by the shop twice a week while he was unconscious, body healing from the poison that Quincy had given him.
And then one day Grimmjow justâŚwasnât there.
Urahara said heâd woke up, opened a garganta, and fucked right off to Hueco Mundo. Well, not those exact words. But thatâs what the ache in his chest told him.
Bastard.
Now Ichigo was lucky he saw him once or twice a month.
Nel was around far more than Grimmjow ever was, and while Ichigo viewed her more and more as a little sister, he couldnât say that when the sounding boom of a garganta opening happened, he was always a little disappointed it was just Nel.
Sheâd for sure be at whatever party Urahara threw. And as much as he loved her, she could be a lot.
Same with his friends, both human and soul reapers.
If Renji decided to knock on his door and drag him to the shit show of a party it would turn out to be, heâd fakeâŚIchigo wasnât sureâŚexplosive diarrhea or something and run to the bathroom. Between him knowing how to do surprisingly realistic armpit fart noises, and Renjiâs relative cluelessness regardingâŚmany things, as far as the human world went, Ichigo could get him to leave.
Rukia would be another story.
Heâd probably actually need to shit and do something heâd regret almost immediately to get her to leave, and honestly, that was still iffy.
Grabbing his laptop, he plopped back down on his bed and searched for a movie. He guessed a Christmas one would do, he shouldnât be a total trash bag about things. So he typed in the world âGrinchâ, searching through the options, and settled on the original, since it was about as short as his patience at the moment.
Hitting the play button, soft music started in the background as Ichigo tried to get himself comfortable, wrapping his duvet around him like he was a cold snowman in need of a nice spring thaw. Sighing as the opening was narrated, Ichigo closed his eyes, lids heavy.
 ............
When he opened them again, his laptop was darkâI mustâve fallen asleepâand there was a warmth spread across his chest.
And legs.
Everywhere, really. And it was heavy.
And vaguely body shaped, Ichigo thought, blood turning to ice. Did someone break into his house? Did he have an intruder cuddling him? What in the absolute fuck? Was this one of his friends sick ways of harassing him because he missed the party?
Glancing around the room trying to stay as calm as possible, Ichigo attempted to get a feel for their spiritual pressure. It took him all of five seconds to give up. It felt familiar, but without any kind of menacing or fighting aura surround them, he was honestly at a loss. The only reason he knew it wasnât Captain Zaraki is because he wasnât suffocated into the bed. That, and his two-person boy band wasnât criticizing him from unseen corners of his room.
Trying to focus on the shape sprawled across him, Ichigo could tell they were taller than him, though probably not by much. Trying to move his arms was met with resistanceâhands gripped each bicep like a lifeline, gently clawing and relaxing long fingertips into the meat of each arm.
The head shifted, and Ichigo felt something hard and smooth scrape across the exposed skin of his neck. It felt like aâ
âWhat the fuck,â Ichigo hissed out, eyes going wide in realization, debating whether or not he was going to leave the guy be, or push him off him (and his bed) and smother him with Ichigoâs favorite pillow.
âTook ya long enough,â rang out a familiar, gruff voice, though laced with drowsiness. Ichigo felt his heartbeat stutter. His voice sounded almost soft. No. Nonononono donât gay panic now. âSâwarm in here. Quiet too.â
âWhat are you talking about?â Okay, panic a little. âWhat are youââ
âBe quiet,â the arrancar whined, rubbing his stupid face into Ichigoâs softest shirt, hands flexing and relaxing on Ichigoâs arms again, unsheathed claws prickling against his human skin. Quiet? Warm? Was Grimmjow drunk? What in the hell and a half was going on? Was he drunk? Ichigo didnât remember getting into Isshinâs good whiskey, but hey, heâd slept-walk before.
Once.
When he was five.
âSorry,â Ichigo said in a frantic whisper, nerves buzzing like angry hornets. The nasty stinging kind that only wanted to kill people. âI just wasnât expecting you to be in my room on Christmas Eve nuzzling into my chest like it was a normal thing that happened.â
âFuckinâ shut up already, Kurosaki,â Grimmjow growled, shifting around a little bit, head propping up, is damn pointy chin digging into Ichigoâs chest not unlike the dullest dagger in the world, blue eyes narrowed at him. Ichigo felt his hands twitch.
âUraharaâs was fucking loud. Smelly too. Damn booze-hound,â he muttered, laying his head back down.
âYou shut up, you bastard,â Ichigo whisper yelled. âYouâve barely been here! You donât get to justâŚdo this!â
âIâm here now, ainât I,â Grimmjow yelled in a hush right back, as if there were other people in the house to be concerned about. Wait, were there? What time even was it? He didnât remember actually looking at the clock. It was only likeâŚseven when he put the little animated movie onâand it was only like forty five minutes long at most. Damn, he was turning into an old man. Heâd be eighty in two days.
Sucking in a breath, Ichigo marched on, ready to get this shit show delt with so he could go back to sleep and wake up mad about it tomorrow.
âYeah, but why?â
Grimmjow growled for real this time, a low reverberation resonating in his chest before the man sat up, and Ichigo saw his glare glow through the darkness.
âThe fuck, you donât want me here now? Shitty Kiskue said youâd been moping around âcuz of it, and now you decided to change yer mind?â
Trying not to snort at the completely accurate nickname for the damn shopkeeper, Ichigo propped himself up on his elbows, since Grimmjow was still sitting on half of him like a damn house-cat, and glared right back.
âI donât mope,â he said, voice now at a normal volume, growling right back, though not quite as animalistic.
Ichigo ran a now free hand across his sweaty face. Grimmjow ran a hell of a lot warmer than heâd anticipated. Of course, it could always be the stress of the situation at hand.
âYou fuckinâ do.â Grimmjow leaned in closer, laying more of himself over Ichigo again, arms now caging both of his sides, gaze predatory. What in the hell was going on? Sure, Ichigo wasnât opposed to the action whatsoever, but it was weird coming from Grimmjow of all people.
âIf you donât want me here then just say so.â Hot breath fanned Ichigoâs face, and if the light were on, Grimmjow could probably see him blush.
Eyebrow ticking, patience thinning regardless of how attractive the bastard on top of him was, Ichigo spat out his next sentence.
âOf course, I want you here, you complete asshat! What the fuck took youââ
Lipsâwell, teeth, more likeâcut off Ichigoâs lecture. Warm and moist and so fucking soft, Ichigo felt his head drop back onto his pillow, arms wrapping around the torso pressing into him. Whatever Grimmjow was wearing, it was scratchy as hell. Yoruichi had been into some kind of string craft thingâknitting or crocheting, he didnât rememberâso it was probably that. Sheâd all but forced Ichigo to accept a handmade sweater with holes in the armpits. She insisted it was to let his stank out, whatever the fuck that meant.
Grimmjow pulled away first, but stayed close. His mask shone in the dim moonlight filtering through the window, teeth sharp. Stupidly, Ichigo wondered if he ever flossed them.
âPoison took a long time to wear off, had to go back to Hueco Mundo to heal some of it.â
Ichigo knitted his brows, confused. What did Hueco Mundo have that the world of the livingânamely Uraharaâdidnât? Â
âWhat?â
Grimmjow scraped his mask over the bareness of Ichigoâs exposed neck, and butterflies fluttered all the way into his throat and back down. Fingers clutched at the hem of the poor-quality yarn sweater, waiting for Grimmjow to explain.
âSomething about the reishi compounds,â Grimmjow started with an irritated sigh, the tip of his tongue flicking at Ichigoâs clavicle. âHow an arrancar body breaks them down differently and shit. Kiskue explained it, but I wasnât listening.â
âFigures,â Ichigo said, smiles beginning to spread across his face. âHowâd you even get in my house?â Ichigo ran a hand through messy blue locks, and scratched his scalp lightly, earning a pleased grunt. And maybe a purr, if his ears werenât deceiving him.
âYer old man. Told me he left the door unlocked anâ that you were beinâ a brat.â
Ichigoâs face went red at Grimmjow calling him such things, but decided not to think of thatâor how his father just left the house open for anyone to rob, thanks a lot. What if there was a hollow and a robber nearby? Did the old fart ever think of that?
Probably not, because heâs a moron.
Then another question wormed its way out of Ichigoâs mouth, even with Grimmjowâs greedy mouth currently nipping at whatever exposed skin he could find. Â
âWhy didnât Urahara say anything to me? About you needing to go back, I mean.â
Grimmjow stopped marking Ichigo for a second, dragging an arm over Ichigoâs chest and laying his head on it. He was frowning, but didnât look all that surprised by Ichigoâs line of questioning. Â
âBecause heâs a piece of shit,â he said matter-of-factly. Ichigo couldnât help but nod in agreement, irritated sigh pushing past his lips.
âGood to know. How about we try and killâem tomorrow?â
Ichigo heard and felt Grimmjow chuckle, shifting his arm again, lower this time, playing with the hem of his sweats. Swallowing, Ichigoâs breath hitched. Â
Grimmjow growled like the feral best he was, and ground down into Ichigoâs weight, causing a groan to escape him.
âWorks for me. Merry Crisis, Kurosaki. Lemme open my present.â
Ichigo just laughed and pulled Grimmjowâs stupid mouth back to his own. Maybe it wasnât such a bad way to spend the night after all, and if things went the way he hoped, his heart wouldnât be the only thing growing a couple sizes tonight.
Ichigo: Every night right around 10pm, my feelings start to crawl out of me, so I beat them with a sword vigorously while hissing âstay backâ until I finally fall asleep from exhaustion.
âI bet you canât fit ten marshmallows in your mouth!â Karin shouted, throwing a bag of the chewy bastards at his face. With his extensive training both in and out of combat, he was able to turn his face in her direction just as she threw them so they could smack him in the nose, instead of sidestepping like an actual smart person who had a working brain in his skull.
Ichigo snorted, rubbing his nose, not bothering to look at the fiendish bag on the floor. Ten? He could easily fit more than that; he wasnât some weakling. The savior of the living world, the soul society, and hueco mundo could fit at least fifteen.
However, with her coming out of the blue and just saying so innocently had his suspicions rise like a kite in a hurricane. Of course, she could just be bored. With her, it was hard to tell sometimes. Regardless, he wasnât going to fall for her schemes.
âIâm not falling for your little trick, you gremlin.â
Karin clutched her hand to her lying little forehead like she was sick with liarâs fever before running over to him and throwing her arms around him, kicking the bag under the couch by accident.
âI would never try and trick you Ichi-nii,â she said, voice sweet as syrup as she tightened her arms around his neck.
âDefinitely a trick,â Ichigo thought, seven jumbo marshmallows in his craw and trying not to look like he wasnât gasping for breath. This was the worst mistake heâd made, aside from letting Rukia stab him with her zanpakuto. And because of that he was now dying at the kitchen counter, Karin taking pictures of his plight so she could upload them on TikTok or whatever kids these days did.
âThree more to go,â she said, voice sounding suspiciously like Uraharaâs. Sheâd been spending too much time with that damned shopkeeper, but he wasnât really one to say. As she wrestled another jumbo marshmallow between his sputtering lips, Ichigo barely registered the door opening, and two presences making themselves known, one more aggressive than the other.Â
âWhat the fuck are you doing, Kurosaki?â
âI take it back, this is so much worse than letting Rukia stab me.â
Grimmjow stood, just slightly behind Evil Sister 1, boney hands on his stupid hips, his stupid attractive face scrunched up, left eyebrow raised. He looked...unimpressed was a nice word for it. And what in the absolute hell was he doing with Yuzu?! Was he just following around any Kurosaki these days? He thought what they had was special, and now the big idiot was watching Ichigo make a complete and utter ass out of himself for his sisters--both of whom were laughing, thank you very fucking much--sake.
âThe marshmallow challenge,â Ichigo tried to say, but, unfortunately, it came out more like, âlha wathwaaaawow kaaagwaaaeâ, which roughly translated to âI hope we both die.â A small speck of marshmallow spittle flew from his mouth and landed somewhere in the great beyond of the counter space.
Ichigo felt his face heating up; he was never going to live this down from the bastard. Grimmjow was absolutely going to make fun of it until he either died, or kill him, and right now, heâd rather that happen sooner rather than later.
But then Grimmjow did something completely unexpected.
He laughed.
Jovial, full-belly, actual fucking laughter, hands on his face trying to muffle the sound, and Ichigoâs jaw went slack just enough for a nasty wad of half chewed marshmallow to fall out of his mouth and land with a slick âplopâ on the counter, much to everyone's (minus Grimmjows), dismay. Yuzu shot him a dirty look, corner of her mouth down-turning slightly.Â
Ichigo, now with enough room in his mouth to actually breathe and move his jaw, worked double time to chew and swallow the rest of the mess in his mouth.
âI never want one of those again,â he said, shooting a glare Karinâs way, picking up the bag and tossing it at her. It missed, and landed close to Grimmjowâs still hunched over form, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.Â
âAw câmon. Theyâre sweet!â
Ichigo watched Grimmjow finally straighten himself up before rolling his eyes, staring as Karin popping one of the worst things in the world into her mouth like he didnât almost die and go to the soul society for real.
âThey donât taste like anything!â
He did actually manage to dodge the first marshmallow Karin threw at him. The second and third one hit him square in the mouth and left ear respectively.
âYouâve got the powder on your lip, Ichi-nii,â Yuzu said, offering a napkin to him, but saying nothing to her evil twin pelting him with the soft bullets.
He grabbed it, dodging another three until he was on the same side of the counter as the arrancar whoâd been strangely silent after his bout of laughter, but before he could clean up his face, Grimmjow grabbed him by the collar, yanked him forward, and crashed their lips together with a violent clack.
Not a second later, he felt a rough tongue swipe at his bottom lip, licking up the residue left behind by the damn pillow-y things. Ichigo tightened his grip on the manâs shirt, pulling and twisting, trying to get him away, or closer, or something.
Pulling away, Ichigo just stared at the man in front of him, trying to rub his two brain cells together to try and spark a single, intelligent thought, but came up emptier than Isshinâs stomach in a fast.
Grimmjow looked like he was considering something, his finger scratching the side of his face, before licking his own lips, a wicked grin splitting across his face before leaning closer to Ichigo again.Â
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