Not immediately jumping to unsolicited advice when someone confides in you
Avoiding absolute statements when you do give someone advice. You do not know someone better than they know themself. All you can do is offer guidance. Thinking otherwise in any capacity is symptomatic of ego and lack of empathy.
Accepting the fallibility of being a person lol. A lot of people will say they âget angryâ when they notice someone floundering, so their solution is to yell at them or get extremely cruel with their words. In this case you donât have the capacity to give advice, and you would do more than damage than good in giving it.
Never using being honest as an excuse to be cruel
Asking your friend questions. Gently prompting them into the answer that fits them best. It is better than immediately giving commands as to their next step
Knowing that time and place matter. When someone is fresh off a difficult situation, the last thing they want to be slammed with is advice. They just want to be listened to. Active listening > advice in that scenario.
Kindness costs you 0. Not coddling someone â being liberally rude to them under the guise of honesty
Asking yourself if you really have their best interest in mind or if youâre reacting out of a selfish place and disguising it as âcaringâ for your friend
Being patient âŚ. Many people need to be told this
Is it emotional labor or are you just poisoned by therapy speak?? There does reach a reasonable point where we all hit the ceiling about âhelpingâ our friend / finding it difficult to see them self sabotage / whatever the situation may be⌠but I feel like a lot of people forget what friendship really is tbh. Not everything is emotional labor. Taking a little bit out of your day to listen to a recurring issue isnât the end of the world. I wonât harp on this too much bc people have varying limits, but I donât like the weaponization of just being there for your friends these days
Remembering your compassion. We are all struggling all tripping out all trying to get it together. I just hate how some people donât find it in them to empathize. If you canât empathize then why are you trying to give advice? How do you expect to put yourself in their shoes? Compassion informs sound advice.
Asking yourself if youâre okay with being spoken to the way youâre speaking to someone right now, even if their excuse is just that theyâre giving advice / trying to help. If you dish it but canât take it, thatâs a good sign youâre saying something fucked up
Delivery matters. A lot of people seem to forget this. Does it make it okay if someone is yelling at you / tearing into you / lambasting you with a âgoodâ point? Like we all deserve a base foundation of respect and common decency. No one is wrong for centering their feelings in that scenario.
stormborns
kaledo-art
gummygunk
izzy806
blakekathryn
