existing

I just want to be skinny

[m4iaaaaa]

it does not matter your weight, height, skin color, mental, paternal or maternal problems. in the same way you are welcome to my blog. you can talk to me if you need advice or if you just want someone to listen to you <3

(I can talk to you in English or Spanish)

racist, homophobic, discriminatory, sexist or anyone else is not welcome so block me please

[whatever-is-pxre]

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

[lesnians-deactivated20210730]

Did I reblog this already I dont care

[edisorderedd]

Reposting this a a victim of sexual abuse from my brother

[annarose-exe]

Reblogging as a victim of rape by a close friend.

Reblogging because my sister, mother, and friends have all been used without permission.

[verified-pch]

Reblog for all the victims of rape who also work retail and when men say something to them about how pretty they are, how good they look, or how good they are at their job, no matter how innocent they mean it, she hears the voice of her rapist in them sometimes.

[hclarice-deactivated20200903]

Reblogging as a victim of rape and sexual assault. Reblogging because I had to go to school with my assaulter for a whole year after he assaulted me. Reblogging because of the fact that he got away with a couple months of community service, probation, and nothing on his record even though he admitted to assaulting me, and people STILL think I lied about it three years later. Reblogging because my rapist took advantage of me when I was wasted. Reblogging because I was so intoxicated that I could barely stand on my own two feet let alone push a guy who was two times my size and who was extremely strong off of me. Reblogging because both events happened in less than two weeks of each other. Reblogging because I still have nightmares, I still have panic attacks, and flashbacks, and the constant anxiety that I’ll see my assaulters, and the fact that I still flinch when I feel someone touch me. Including my girlfriend. Reblogging because I fucking want to and because this shit needs to be heard.

[thechapel-deactivated20240706]

Reblogging because I was six and no one decided to help

[roseblushing-deactivated2020070]

Reblogging because no one should be ignored

[neonwatermeloncircus]

Reblogging because it’s time we take some action , reblogging for all my friends who have gone through rape , reblogging to end this assault and rape culture , reblogging to make the world safe for everyone , not just women , not just men , but for everyone.

[sarz93]

I’ve never been rapped personally but I’ve had so many close calls, my female best friend tried to have sex with me when I was 8 - I was so freaked out I never hung out with her again. I was groomed for months by a friend of my parents but I never let myself be alone with him thank god. Another friend of my parents tried to get into my room once in the middle of the night and it scared the hell out of me. Although I was never physically hurt I don’t really trust men. My older brother used to play fight with me and I would always lose - that ruined my personal security- I felt totally helpless. I had to get therapy before I could be alone with men in a room in my early 20’s, all my male friends are gay. And I’m still a virgin at 26 years of age. My mother and Uncle were sexually assaulted when they were young though- I think my mother being honest to me at an early age is what saved me- but now I’m too paranoid to live what I deem to be a normal life. And I wasn’t even physically assaulted! 😞

[annaandbinmademe]

Rebloging, and I will never stop rebloging.

[annadarlingg]

Major trigger warning though!

[m4iaaaaa]

i just want little arms

[11-515]

[lesbianartemiscrock]

like half my personality is just symptoms

[pudgefree]

[xxskinnixxlegend]

Gotta love constantly hating yourself 🥲✌️

[nothinginme-deactivated20211003]

manifesting to lose 10kg ✨✨✨

[be-artistic-deactivated20230306]

[classy-lovely-deactivated202212]

[missfattyy]

Reblog if..

● your parents called you fat

● your brother/sister called you fat

● your friends called you fat

● you called yourself fat

● a stranger called you fat

[thearmyofgrunge]

[beperfect]

How I reached 99Ibs

1. Drink at least 3L water everyday 2. Drink green tea in the morning 3. Eat at least 1500kcal otherwise your metabolism will slow down 4. Avoid sugar - eat healthy 5. Eat regularly 6. Never skip breakfast 7. Don’t binge 8. Still listen to your body!

[bloomcrys]

Me when I don't wake up thinner after skipping dinner

[nohumanstuff]

„The Devil inside you“ - via ig: @toxicvisions

[m4iaaaaa]

everything is wrong

[deadinparadice]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline:[phone]

Suicide Hotline:[phone]

LifeLine:1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project:1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support:1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline:[phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673

Grief Support:1-650-321-5272

Runaway:1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale:After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Child Abuse:1-800-422-4453

UK Helplines:

Samaritans (for any problem):08457909090 e-mail [email protected]

Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem):08001111

Mind infoline (mental health information):0300 123 3393 e-mail: [email protected]

Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice):0300 466 6463 [email protected]

b-eat eating disorder support:0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: [email protected]

b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders):08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)

Cruse Bereavement Care:08444779400 e-mail: [email protected]

Frank (information and advice on drugs):0800776600

Drinkline:0800 9178282

Rape Crisis England & Wales:0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail [email protected]

Rape Crisis Scotland:08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight

India Self Harm Hotline:[phone]

India Suicide Helpline:022-27546669

Kids Help Phone (Canada):1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7

suicide hotlines;

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