Just wanted to drop by to say geronimo was so beautiful. Actually bliss ❤️ loved it so much... Thank you for writing it and I hope your doing well
Hey thank you so much for taking the time to drop a message ☺️💗 Hahhaa especially I wouldn't necessarily think of that fanfic being beautiful so I really do appreciate that you perceive it that way🫶🏻
Thank you for wishing me well too! I still come by on the app every now and then and feel happy when I see people interacting with my fics. Sincerely hope you're doing well yourself🌸
"I feel like people might think of me more as a concept," You start, "Like maybe they're stalking me more than actually trying to get to know me as a person. You know," You continue pseudo-nonchalantly, your fingers gingerly dancing on top of your laptop touchpad, as if to distract yourself from the words you've managed to somehow pull out of thin air. Or rather, the untouched inner depths of your thoughts that's gone unvoiced for so long it simply feels detached--almost foreign to you; as if it were a completely different person that was saying these words.
After these words made its way past your lips, you've been made painfully aware that this is an overrun thought of yours that you've somehow learned to settle with, to be okay with, despite how discouraging it's always been with how you've tried to approach human intimacy.
...Or atleast that's what you tell yourself.
....Other times you do tell yourself, thoughts are just thoughts. Or that perhaps you're the sole catalyst to all these interactions.
Either way, this particular thought always sat strangely in the corners of your mind.
Mark looks at you blankly in response, albeit dead straight at your eyes with quiet conviction. The edges of his lips curve up slightly to what you'd make out as a confused smile. What comes out of his mouth right afterwards, without missing a beat, somehow manages to short circuit the tangledness that you've learned to hold for the longest time. And made you realize that maybe, reality shouldn't be perceived in a scope that has been narrowed to fit some cookie cutter belief.
"...I don't get it. I wouldn't stalk you. Why would I, when I have the real thing right here with me?"
i just know the sheer amt of songs niki has been writing abt one person throughout her entire career as an artist bc it really mirrors me n the way i have been writing my fics since the beginning of this blog
hi i’m aware i have been moving weird on here HAHA but idk bro it has been a p different past few weeks & for some reason i wanna talk about it kinda openly here . maybe cos i talk abt intimacy difficulties a fair bit w my fics in general
posted these tweets ytd & am currently bouta sob 4 the same reason js thinkin of being genuine of my feels man ... literally js sitting here feeling so . humbled n overwhelmed all at the same time man the Human Experience ™️ really is something else .....
is it bouta be shark week for me ??? Maybe . But it still ain't a lie that for once i chose to follow my gut to pursue something that i felt has always been too important to me n it ended up actually ... working out. idk . i’m just .. yeah
idk yeah, maybe i’m just humbled cos its like . i went thru so much n ventured out the distance which only managed to lead my way back home . idk maybe i’m just humbled by life in general
but errm yeah, try coming home to urself more often friends, it might not be too much of a bad idea 💙 9/10 would try to do again -1 cos it still scares the shit outta me but thats lifee i suppose aha
yeah also special thanks indeed 2 that guy on my last fic he rly made me take a good look into the mirror n see damn have u been real to urself or nah (the answer was no had no idea wt i ws doin w him n a lot of other ppl in retrospect) anyways hsjjfksnd i have been rambling seeya
“I’m just a really guarded person.” Jaehyun mutters under his breath.
“...I mean, me too.” You respond.
“..Then you get it, don’t you?”
“...I do... But,” You start. “..But then it means that.. Nothing’s going to get.. Adequately exchanged between us.”
“...I mean.... I like silence.”
“....I do, too.”
“..So what’s the problem then?”
“...”
You choose to look at his eyes intently, only to see your own being reflected right back at you. The same pair of eyes that seem to hold the entire universe in them with abandon—as if to desperately conceal the sheer weight of the void endlessly stretching in between the carefully crafted planets and stars haphazardly strewn across the surface, falling flat against the greater dimension of the emptiness held deeper within.
...The kind of pattern you find yourself to be overly familiar with.
“I just... Don’t want us to have the problem of being detached.... from ourselves, and each other.” You say while looking down, in a quieter voice, not even entirely convinced by the words escaping your mouth.
You do admit that you’d want to establish a connection with him.
....Some kind of connection.
..But is that really what you want from him?
More importantly,
...Is he really what you want?
He stays quiet, looking at you in a blank stare, before capturing your lips in his, once again in the countless times that you have tonight.
“—Wait—Jaehyun,” You stop him, a little too softly, your palms gently resting against his chest.
He moves away to take a good look at you, waiting for you to continue.
You look back at him... Waiting for yourself to continue.
You try to look for something within his eyes—anything. You were hoping that he’d hold the answers to the all-encompassing void you possess within your own depths, only for him to mirror with the same. The lack of substance you feel falls a little too comfortably upon your bones—it almost outright scares you.
Sensing your hesitation, he opens his mouth, only for nothing to come out for a brief second.
“..I... People just say that I’m an enigma,” He finally manages to say.
You scoff at him—both at the utter ridiculousness and, surprisingly, striking accuracy in the choice of word.
“.....I’m the exact same.”
“....Then, you get it, don’t you?” He responds, almost in disbelief.
“Yeah, yeah I do. I empathize.”
....You simply say, but it does nothing to your exchange but further imbue it with an off-putting undertone that’s permeated throughout the time you’ve spent in his presence.
Perhaps it’s at this very moment that you’ve finally realized—that you were looking for someone to bring some sort of comprehension—to put a name; any kind of label—onto the essence of your being, because you yourself have always had the difficulty, or perhaps, great reluctance, of doing exactly that. And looking outwards for some semblance of an answer has always been less frightening than facing whatever it is that’s always laid inside of you, a realm far too precious and untouched. Both you and Jaehyun are too accustomed to the desire of maintaining the greed for the void you so ironically desperately wish to leave behind and fill with something else—leaving nothing for each other behind in a complete stalemate of a conundrum. But you suppose sometimes such conundrums leave you with the very answer you sought out for in a crooked, roundabout way—as in one way or another that’s how one learns what’s truly needed in the grand scope of relationships.
lmaooo 8.55 am have not slept a wink n wrote a thing cos i just felt like i really gotta (maybe or maybe not related w said sleeplessness.....its one of those nights wen u js gotta write some of ur thoughts out) . man . hope i wake up n see something legible HAHA . anyways . have a good weekend everyone
[3.27 am] - when mark lee comforts you in place of your toxic boyfriend
fluff, light smut, light angst
►listen to kiss me - dpr live, get you - daniel caesar
After being abandoned by your boyfriend in the middle of a concert as he chooses to continue to cheer for Post Malone rather than your actual mental health, Mark invites you over in hopes of cheering you up—by offering to spend some time together at his place. This unfortunately wasn’t the first time your boyfriend’s treated you poorly, and Mark’s one of the people around you that’s taken note of that. You’ve never really had that whole love relationship thing figured out—you’ve always just impulsively agreed and ran with whatever impact hit the hardest. Finding yourself limply hovering over the toilet in one of the stalls as you try to control your panic attack alone, you find yourself finally choosing to go through with Mark’s invitation. And that’s how you’ve spent the rest of the night, hanging out with Mark—until well past midnight. Mark’s been greeting you with gentle warmth and comfort like he always has, and you can’t help but feel like this is how things should be—whatever it is that would be.
You glance at the clock hanging above the entrance to Mark’s apartment—it’s showing half past 3. In the morning.
“Hey Mark, I should probably get going and call an Uber, it’s past 3 am—”
“It’s really late at night, there should be no Uber out.” He cuts you off simply, re-emerging from his bedroom to take care of the kitchen.
You pause at his remark, the cogs in your head stopping abruptly for reasons you’re not completely sure of. Something’s definitely not clicking logically, but for whatever reason your mind decides to skip that train of thought altogether.
“O-oh, okay..”
“You could sleep on my bed. I’ll be sleeping on the sofa,” He continues nonchalantly as he washes the mugs you’ve both drank from earlier tonight.
“…”
“You could sleep on the bed, too,”
You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of your mouth.
Mark slowly spins his body away from manning the dishes, facing you.
Hahaha it rly be like that sometimes! But sincerely thank you for appreciating the vibes n tension in this one. I think one of the best things I could do with something I make creatively is to be able to capture the nuances within a narrative or idea tht I wish to drive home--so I'm really grateful for you! Thanks for reading and dropping ur lovely tags 💙💙💙💙
You’re watching in fear as Haechan shakily clenches his hands, jaw tense, breaths uneven.
“Why did you have to respond to him? You know he treated you like shit,” He starts, holding one of your weak arms in his grasp, faint bruises painting your upper arm and cheek, before releasing it.
Your hands start to tremble, pupils wavering in apprehension.
“Above all, you know I hate it when you do that,” He continues, hands raking his hair impatiently.
Despite your fear, you desperately try to look into his eyes, and he avoids your gaze, preferring to look elsewhere in his frustration. He clicks his tongue, startling you.
“You know, y/n, sometimes I think you do these things on purpose.” He says, finally looking at you in the eyes.
You look at him with disbelief, despair filling the expanse of your chest. He’s hurt.
“Sometimes I think you’re just using me,”
You’re hurting him.
“Hyuck, I would ne—”
“Sometimes I think you keep me around just to make yourself feel safe, and that’s all I am to you,” He asserts, raising his voice.
Sincerely thank you so much for taking the time to read + enjoying it + putting up your lovely tags !! 🥺🥺🌻💖 man n sure hope i'm deserving to be called as an amazing writer but yes very grateful this one's managed to come across you💙 you've made me feel happy ! 🎁
another one i wrote that don’t think ill continue hahaha 😅 posting here cos i think i wrote a lil bit of a banger if i do say so mself HAHAHHAA ok ..,
(a/n: erm yee .. im aware that some of my irls have access to my tumblr cos of my own carelessness and i’d like to say the things i post are just a byproduct of my experiences n much more likely than not would reflect none of my current views unless expressed otherwise LMAOOO icb i gotta write this man sheeesh anyways ..)
[3.27 am] - when mark lee comforts you in place of your toxic boyfriend
fluff, light smut, light angst
►listen to kiss me - dpr live, get you - daniel caesar
After being abandoned by your boyfriend in the middle of a concert as he chooses to continue to cheer for Post Malone rather than your actual mental health, Mark invites you over in hopes of cheering you up—by offering to spend some time together at his place. This unfortunately wasn’t the first time your boyfriend’s treated you poorly, and Mark’s one of the people around you that’s taken note of that. You’ve never really had that whole love relationship thing figured out—you’ve always just impulsively agreed and ran with whatever impact hit the hardest. Finding yourself limply hovering over the toilet in one of the stalls as you try to control your panic attack alone, you find yourself finally choosing to go through with Mark’s invitation. And that’s how you’ve spent the rest of the night, hanging out with Mark—until well past midnight. Mark’s been greeting you with gentle warmth and comfort like he always has, and you can’t help but feel like this is how things should be—whatever it is that would be.
You glance at the clock hanging above the entrance to Mark’s apartment—it’s showing half past 3. In the morning.
“Hey Mark, I should probably get going and call an Uber, it’s past 3 am—”
“It’s really late at night, there should be no Uber out.” He cuts you off simply, re-emerging from his bedroom to take care of the kitchen.
You pause at his remark, the cogs in your head stopping abruptly for reasons you’re not completely sure of. Something’s definitely not clicking logically, but for whatever reason your mind decides to skip that train of thought altogether.
“O-oh, okay..”
“You could sleep on my bed. I’ll be sleeping on the sofa,” He continues nonchalantly as he washes the mugs you’ve both drank from earlier tonight.
“…”
“You could sleep on the bed, too,”
You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of your mouth.
Mark slowly spins his body away from manning the dishes, facing you.
To think that I'd get a 1k in something that I've written ! ! ! ! 🥹💙😫💕 man i really got nothing to say but thank you, thank you, thank you so much ! Like it really does mean the world to me i really have no more words to accurately convey the sheer amt of gratitude i feel hehe 😚😚😚💕💕💕
Hey cat apologies if this ask came at a time that isn't appropriate for you anymore but i really do feel compelled to say something about it. Even if I personally prefer to not fan the flames in general I think some lines were really crossed.
To the anon(s) that are strangely so pressed over cat expressing her basic rights over her own work--maybe you might need to ask yourself, why you'd be so oddly intent on attacking someone who's trying to protect their creative rights they're basically entitled to by default.
You told her to "grow up" when she's been dealing with issue with nothing but grace and a very very generous amount of objective judgment. Being very honest here, if I were her, I wouldn't put that much care into educating the people who are determined to misunderstand her--especially people who aren't brave enough to share their thoughts off anon. She was the one who was put in such a precarious position in the first place, has to be the one who handles AND protects everything, managed to do that with an incredible amount of level-headedness considering the circumstance, and yet y'all taking the time (as anons no less) to talk down on her and for what ...? Like seriously, what for ? I really don't see the logic in what you're trying to do.
If its possible please stop messaging her and troubling her with whatever it is you've been trying to achieve with your asks. I'm pretty confident she wants to settle this issue as concisely and as airtight as she possibly could--and what yall doing is just straight up prolonging and exacerbating the issue. Thank you.
ilysm ti thank you so much 😭😭😭💗💗💗 and pls don’t apologize, it’s totally fine and I appreciate you very much 🤧💞💞💞✨
note: this is bitch (affectionate !!!) and ty to lana for the meme <3
I get it, plagiarism is wrong and the fact she did it to so many people is wrong and upsetting but you are just as bad posting this shit and talking foul of her. She did the wrong thing and despite not admitting it, you know she did and so did others. But that does not give you the right to be posting personal messages and speaking so poorly of her. Maybe you need to realise what you are doing is just as wrong.
——-
Seeing how I got these immediately after I posted evidence to prove that I was not lying about jenovious gaslighting me, I’m assuming it’s all from the same person and will be grouping them into one ask.
“you are just as bad posting this shit” — this “shit” is additional evidence to prove that she was indeed gaslighting me because a previous anon implied that I lied about that, even though the initial screenshots already showed that she did.
“talking foul of her” — I have never spoken foul of her. I expressed my disappointment and hurt, yes, but I never once insulted her. I provided screenshots of our conversation and evidence of her plagiarism to spread awareness, but I have not once said a bad thing about her. How you view her after you see the evidence and screenshots is your own personal judgement and opinion.
“She did the wrong thing and despite not admitting it, you know she did and so did others.” — I will have to correct you there because she did partially admit to it. However, what I wished for was a genuine honest apology for what she did. I believe that’s the least she can do after disrespecting both me and lana.
“that does not give you the right to be posting personal messages and speaking so poorly of her. Maybe you need to realise what you are doing is just as wrong.” — actually, in a court case, you’re allowed to submit personal messages as evidence. as long as the text message is sent by one of the opposing party and is a statement against that party’s interest, it may be admissible. seeing as plagiarism is a legal offense, even if it’s just fanfiction, I can share personal messages from my shared conversation with jenovious. and again, I never spoke poorly of her. I stated what happened and provided evidence to back up my experience. So no, I did nothing wrong. I was proving what she did to me.
“Stop posting about it, she did it and that's it. Stop making it a bigger issue than it needs to be.” — I was already done with answering all asks about this issue and ready to move past this until I received that anonymous ask that implied I was lying about the gaslighting. I will not stand for someone slandering me. I did not lie, and I proved that.
“ " I won't be sharing publically" well what the fuck are you doing then? All of you.” — jenovious did not want me to post her apology ask publicly, and I respected her wishes. I never shared it with anyone except for lana because jenovious asked me to send it to her privately. What I am sharing is evidence of what she did and to prove that I was not lying.
“Maybe you all need to grow up and move on from the issue.” — I assume you never had something stolen from you, specifically something you spent time and effort making, and I hope you never have to experience that. I was already moving past it until I received that anonymous ask implying that I’m a liar about the gaslighting. I will not be silent when someone accuses me wrongly. I hope you won’t be silent either if this ever happens to you.
“Tumblr writers really do love drama.” — nobody loves plagiarism, and plagiarism is not drama. it’s an ethical infraction and violation, and people found guilty of it can be kicked out of school or their place of employment and/or go to court and be sued for copyright infringement.
“You got permission to post these from leebrookestore okay but there were two people in the conversation you weren't in and mind you honey, you didn't get permission from her. So you need to realise that you have also done the wrong thing here, posting personal messages that you aren't included in or got permission from both parties to do so.” — it’s * lebrookestore, and mind you honey, I don’t need permission from jenovious to post those. as stated above, in a court case, you’re allowed to submit personal messages as evidence. as long as the text message is sent by one of the opposing party and is a statement against that party’s interest, it may be admissible. plagiarism is a legal offense that can be brought to court under copyright infringement, even if it’s just fanfiction. as such, I have done nothing wrong. note: lebrookestore is not the opposing party, and I have received full permission from her to post them.
I have turned off anonymous messages for now, but if you’d like to discuss this further, you are welcome to send in asks off anon, and I will reply to you privately if that’s what you’d like :)
I wasn't gonna actively participate in this so as not to fan the flames but i can't help it this got me too excited😂💀💀Fhsgsgafshfhshshs Absolutely Demolished it u go queen HAHAHHAHHA 👑 👑 ❗️
“You know, I’m still seeing him. He’s still coming over from time to time,”
Doyoung looks at you with a blank face, but you know the way his mind might’ve been racing a thousand times faster. After four months of seeing each other, you start to pick up on all the little habits he fails to communicate verbally. He proceeds to slowly place his phone on his bed where you’ve both been lounging on for the past few hours, looks down for a moment, scoffs to himself, then forces a smile at you.
“…I knew it,”
“Yeah,”
“Well, do you like him?”
“I don’t. You know I don’t,” You respond.
He looks at you for a moment, saying not a word.
“You know I like you.” You say honestly, looking at him straight in the eyes.
“..I like you, too.” He responds as per usual, albeit with what seems like a hint of excruciating pain in his voice.
He looks down for a moment, seemingly trying to collect himself. You look at him, lips forming a straight line, mind emptied. You relent to the understanding that he doesn’t seem to like this arrangement all too much, despite having that as the initial agreed-upon base to your relationship. Even so, in the darkest corners of your heart, you desperately hope that he’ll stay. He’ll stay long enough to convince you out of this emptiness you’ve come to settle for yourself—that maybe you deserve better.
“..I think I might actually even be… Falling for you. No. y/n, I have been falling for you, and I want to say that.”
….. No. Not like that. Not now. Not right now, not at this moment.
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥲🥲🥲🥲 lovee hahahahaha thank you so much for taking the time to read this one + leaving your tags. i think every time someone could relate to this one no matter how slight, it fills me w so much .... feels (?) lmaooo that i have no words left to say. thank you for making me feel a fair bit warmer for sharing something like this ! hope u have a fantastic week ahead bc u sure played a role in making mine ! 💕💕💖💖🌻🌻
