Machine at Midnight

My silly little tumber bog where I post mostly HDG dirtposts/shitposts/parodies The high-effort video shitposts are tagged #certified MaM banger

[machineatmidnight]

FUCK YOU AFFINI COMPACT!!!!

hdg parody of Big Bill Hell's Cars, my best dirtpost to date

[machineatmidnight]

Concept: Affini social media

r/AmITheAsshole posted in 2559

AITA for not letting my (26th bloom) floret (23F) sit on the table?

[machineatmidnight]

FUCK YOU AFFINI COMPACT!!!!

hdg parody of Big Bill Hell's Cars, my best dirtpost to date

[machineatmidnight]

canon facts about big blitum:

Full name is Blitum Alitis, 6th bloom (alitis means like asshole in greek lmao)

constantly lies about bloom count to seem more trustworthy

he learned about terran masculinity and misogyny from like tv and movies and weird dudebros, so he just thinks its some cool aesthetic and has no idea of the real harm it caused/malice behind it (he would be disgusted to find out)

he has a floret who acts like a '50s housewife, but she's trans and HARD into it, and honestly blitum doesn't fully know the full dynamics of trans misogyny kink he just thinks its fun and clearly she likes it

he acts aggressive and douchey but yknow he is an affini so he is good intentioned at heart, he just has fun with it

people have mentioned like wanting/writing blitum crackfics, i fully endorse this that would be awesome

[machineatmidnight]

someone on Discord suggested Ryan Gosling play Big Blitum

i am floored

[wintry-the-freaky]

Big Blitum is like top 10 blorbos

[machineatmidnight]

idk something about being an accessory on a large affini desk and clients just mindlessly pet you and scritch you while not even thinking and just are still talking to the affini, youre just a distraction or fidget something about it is…

something a bit different, art! (no i am not great at art lol)

[machineatmidnight]

[ldcadmium]

[machineatmidnight]

Can't even have plommy anymore. cause of woke. Just have plarent

[glitchyrobo]

Meme that I've apparently never posted here? I could've sworn I had sjkdfhgskjdfh

[machineatmidnight]

paci-shaped class-y vape. send post

[machineatmidnight]

this video is floretcoded i think

[machineatmidnight]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Human Domestication Guide - GlitchyRobo Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Affini Characters/Floret Characters (Human Domestication Guide), Affini Characters (Human Domestication Guide)/Reader Characters: Affini Characters (Human Domestication Guide) Additional Tags: Non-Consensual, POV Second Person, Aliens, Drugs, Computer Programming, i have invented programming fetish Summary:

An HDG microfic in 2nd person about a programmer floret (you) and her caring owner.

[machineatmidnight]

[machineatmidnight]

the domestication situation is crazy

[machineatmidnight]

FUCK YOU AFFINI COMPACT!!!!

hdg parody of Big Bill Hell's Cars, my best dirtpost to date

[machineatmidnight]

canon facts about big blitum:

Full name is Blitum Alitis, 6th bloom (alitis means like asshole in greek lmao)

constantly lies about bloom count to seem more trustworthy

he learned about terran masculinity and misogyny from like tv and movies and weird dudebros, so he just thinks its some cool aesthetic and has no idea of the real harm it caused/malice behind it (he would be disgusted to find out)

he has a floret who acts like a '50s housewife, but she's trans and HARD into it, and honestly blitum doesn't fully know the full dynamics of trans misogyny kink he just thinks its fun and clearly she likes it

he acts aggressive and douchey but yknow he is an affini so he is good intentioned at heart, he just has fun with it

people have mentioned like wanting/writing blitum crackfics, i fully endorse this that would be awesome

[machineatmidnight]

someone on Discord suggested Ryan Gosling play Big Blitum

i am floored

[machineatmidnight]

made this a while ago im allowed to post it here fuck you

[machineatmidnight]

floretcore? i thought it was the affini that had cores

[machineatmidnight]

discussion of HDG fics be like

Have you seen the new fic? It's HDG. It's literally called SISFS. It's NGNM. It's literally ODOM. You can probably find SLC. Dude it's TTLG. It's TFITM. It's UHBFG9DO9BDF9H. You can read UHBFG9DO9BDF9H. You can go to AO3 and read UHBFG9DO9BDF9H. Log onto AO3 right now. Go to UHBFG9DO9BDF9H. Dive into UHBFG9DO9BDF9H. You can UHBFG9DO9BDF9H it. It's UHBFG9DO9BDF9H. UHBFG9DO9BDF9H has it for you. UHBFG9DO9BDF9H has it for you.

[machineatmidnight]

there are two types of HDG titles: a single word panic at the disco title

examples are numerous and need not be provided