madburnz

23, she/her, australia // child of the moon // it's meme time

[cyborgslayers]

ok *has problems*

[powerburial]

john green just won a noble peace prize for teaching nerds how to fuck each other. tragically, he wasnt able to make it to the event. on the drive there, he stopped at burger king for his favorite snack: the chicken tender. short on time, he opted for the drivethru. he accidentally ‘dipped’ his tender into the cigarette lighter, mistaking it for a packet of honey mustard. the burning hot tender sealed his esophagus shut and he died instantlym RIP J. Green

[cannibality-deactivated20250227]

we all know that chicken tender is NOT john green’s favourite taste

[fybtsdreams]

Help me, help me, help me…

[chase version]

[madburnz]

got my #BeyondTheBinary cloak order, shipping was super fast! And the clothes are so soft... 🥰

[not-a-space-alien]

Does anyone else feel, like, a weird inhibition against starting new TV shows?  Like, there are shows I want to watch but when I think about sitting down to start it something in me goes “no you can’t just do that.”  What am i waiting for?  I feel like I need to prepare?  Brain:  You have to wait.  Me:  Wait for what???  Brain:  WAIT

[loveislattes]

THIS!

[madburnz]

Big executive dysfunction mood. Even when I know I will probably like the show, and I really want to watch it, when I actually have the time to sit down and start it my brain just nopes out

[valtsv]

if a hot evil villain tried to seduce me to the dark side i would simply say fuck yes

[valtsv]

rip to all of you but im gonna get it

[wallflowerwaitlist]

jenna marbles not making a video because she failed to turn her hair into a hot wheels track and then coming back three weeks later with a brand new game plan and succeeding is the kind of energy i’m bringing with me to the last 2 and half months of 2019

[shoeboxgoblin]

Rejection sensitive dysphoria is wild. Someone will be like "hey just so you know the thing you did was a little bit loud/uncomfortable/insensitive but it's ok I know you didn't mean it" and my brain will instantly translate "you should be shot"

[gh0st-train-haze]

Markiplier out here making self insert fanfics for his subscribers

[markiplier]

You’re not wrong

[markiplier]

Let’s rob a museum...

Watch the full trailer right HERE

[fischyplier]

Ţ͘Ì͞M̶͡͞Ȩ̛́ IS͡ ̶͜͢BR͏O̷͞K͡E̵N̵̡͢

[mxsparklecunt-deactivated202001]

why do “daddy doms” always write their about me like “welcome to my own private corner of the internet where all my most private and depraved fantasies will be explored. You’re not ready for the sick playground that is my mind”

like calm down mate it’s just a porn blog it’s 50 pages of boring blowjob gifs and b+w photos of thin white girls bending over

[newerleaf]

IM CRYING

[madburnz]

I have to go back to work in two days and wake up at 6am for my first shift back... it is currently 4am and I’ve been accidentally staying up til this time for my whole month off....

to use the language of today’s youth.... this is not lit

[narika-a]

instant regret

[bluehairedspidey]

wow i cant believe adhd doof is canon

adhdoof

[chaifootsteps]

#this is literally how I talk

[mitski-miyawakis]

[the-meme-monarch]

me when someone says ‘hit or miss’ in any context:

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I’m gonna lose it I was just getting my blood drawn and the first vein she stuck wasn’t producing any blood so she took the needle out and it didn’t bleed at all and I said “woah….I don’t have any blood” and she very seriously said “I doubt that’s it. I’m having an issue finding a big enough vein.”

She really thought I really thought maybe I’m outta blood.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

What I learned from this is a lot of medical professionals have had to explain to people they can’t run out of blood and live

[thycatsays]

And a real medical professional shouldn’t have to stick you multiple times to draw blood. 

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

In her defense, my doctor is at a teaching hospital, so there are always students, residents, interns etc. learning. The doctor or nurse or flabotomist asks permisssion for their student to practice on you, and I usually say yes unless I’m feeling particularly sick tht day and don’t want to risk exactly this.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Also I really took a blind shot at spelling phlebotomist huh

[habits-white-rabbit]

Flabotomist

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

You have to be nice to me I have a rare no-blood disorder