Please

My name is Madison Penney, but feel free to call me Maddie. Darcy Evans gives me butterflies.

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

  "I know, I know," Cass sighed. "You know you won’t be one of them either, you know," she admitted honestly. Maddie always doubted herself, more than she should, but she was smarter than she thought too. Cassidy let out a small smirk, "Yeah, maybe an addictions specialist wouldn’t be so bad…. after all, they seem to be short on them here," it was kind of a jab at Parkwood, but it was true; even when they HAD a specialist, she was never around. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes and laugh. "And here I am thinking maybe we’re NOT crazy," Cass sighed gently. "Yeah… I know I haven’t always been the greatest friend to you… Maybe…. maybe I could find a way to stay here a bit longer?"

[maddie-penney]

"Yeah, I won't either. At least, not in any way that was intentional.. that's for sure. I have Darcy now, I have too much to live for." Maddie nodded, letting out a little sigh. The younger blonde had always idolized Cassidy, wanting to be exactly like her. Now, she was growing up, and while she still admired her sister, she wanted to be her own person. It was scary to realize how quickly life could change, and how things can be taken. "I mean, I'm just saying, maybe you'd actually do a bit of good unlike the ones we've had, right? You did always say they were shit." Maddie let out a chuckle. "Wait, singing to the whales makes me crazy?! This is CRAZY!" Maddie teased, pushing her sister's shoulder slightly. "You have to go.. find where your home is, Cass. You deserve that. You always have.. deserved to be somewhere where you're happy. You've never had that." Maddie said quietly.

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

  "I mean… I really hope it’s not in a body bag… I thought it might be for a while there, but now…. now, not so much," Cass agreed. She was sure that at some point, everyone here thought they’d get out in a body bag. Cassidy let out a small laugh. It was funny how instantly ‘when you grow up’ could turn into ‘tomorrow’. "That wouldn’t be a bad idea… I dunno…. maybe I could be a therapist or something?" she shrugged, having no idea what else to say. Cass laughed with her. She never thought that a year and a half later, she’d be laughing about something like setting fire to something. "Maybe I should take you with me just so you can talk down all the sea creatures?" Cass let out a half smile. Her smile slowly faded at her next words. "I know…. it was like a comfort blanket…" she said quietly, leaning her head to the side on Maddie’s shoulder.

[maddie-penney]

"I highly doubt it'll be in a body bag, Cass.. I was just making an awkward joke.." Maddie explained, her cheeks slightly pink. Everyone had a different perspective about leaving in a body bag. For some, they assumed they'd finally complete a suicide attempt or some would overdose. Maddie simply thought she would reside in this asylum until the day she died. "I think you could be a good therapist.. I mean, you're smart.. Maybe you could be an addiction specialist." Maddie offered. The younger blonde smirked, letting out a giggled sigh, "I'll sing to the humpback whales!! And, they'll sing back, and we'll all be whale friends!" Maddie exclaimed, clapping her hands slightly. Maddie lay her head against her sisters, her voice turning soft yet serious, "You've always been independent, your own best friend.. but you were always mine. I'm.. really going to miss you.. It almost feels like once we go our separate ways here.. we won't see each other again.."

[zekexfraser]

Who's ready for the new year?!

[zekexfraser]

  I don’t get this though.. I’m sure that today is New Years Eve.. W…What’s wrong with me?

[maddie-penney]

I don't know.. have you been really drunk or something? Because, I swear, today's January 20th.

[zekexfraser]

Who's ready for the new year?!

[zekexfraser]

  A..Are you sure..? I have a calender and it says it’s December 31st. 

[maddie-penney]

Well, you're clearly not paying attention to your calendar.. because I clearly remember kissing my husband when the ball dropped for our New Years kiss. 

[zekexfraser]

Who's ready for the new year?!

[zekexfraser]

No I’m not… Today is New Years Eve…

[maddie-penney]

No. It's not. It's January 20th. You really should invest in a calendar, pal.

[zekexfraser]

Who's ready for the new year?!

I am!!

[maddie-penney]

It's been the new year for like.. 20 days already.. You're a little late.

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

  "Everyone finds a way out of here… at their own pace, in their own way," she agreed. It wasn’t easy for anyone, but there was always a solution. For some, it came quicker, that’s all. Cass couldn’t deny that she felt a little awkward having a conversation like this with Maddie, but she wasn’t entirely sure that she could say she disliked it. "I mean, I have a little bit of money saved up… I’d be able to maybe rent out a room somewhere while I’m at school? Hey, that’s only because they let me use fire," she said, rolling her eyes with a small laugh. "How’d you know? It’s not like anyone’s lived to tell the tale. Maybe I’d be small enough that they wouldn’t even notice me? Sharks…. Sharks.”

[maddie-penney]

Maddie nodded her head, "You're right. One way or another.. we find our way out. Whether that be in a body bag or walking out the front gates..We figure it out. Nothing's too hopeless." Maddie admitted, surprised by her own words. Wasn't it just months ago Maddie believed herself to be a hopeless case? "Yeah, or maybe.. you could use the financial aid money you get to live in a dorm if you just get your GED and go straight to college.. What would do you wanna be? Like.. when you grow up?" Maddie giggled, "I know that's why, I was trying to make a joke.." Maddie giggled a little more, shrugging her shoulders. "Because! Humpback whales like to sing! I mean, they're nice whales.. they might have horribly ugly teeth.. but they seem nice enough. And didn't the Bible guy Jonah get eaten by a whale? And he lived!" Maddie's eyes were wide, "SHARKS!" She let out a laugh, shaking her head and grabbing her belly. She let the room be silent for a moment, before saying, "We're just trying to make something out of nothing, though.. I mean, you're going to be leaving, and it'll.. be weird because even when we hate each other.. it was always a comfort to have you close by, I guess." Maddie admitted. 

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

  Cass cleared her throat, trying to keep things under control, at least on her part. “Sort of…. you just learn the right and wrong way to deal with them…. the ways that don’t get you sent to an asylum,” she said, mirroring Maddie’s reaction. After the loss of DJ, Cass had wanted to escape more than ever; get high, fly off into the world in her mind where things weren’t so damaging, but she knew it was a band aid over a bullet hole… it wouldn’t last forever. It had been a while since Maddie and Cass had been able to talk, really talk, and it felt… nice. Foreign, but comforting. “Do you think I could go back to school..? I mean, I’d probably have to take summer school… and then still do 11th and 12th grade… a GED would be good…” Cass let out a small sigh with a smile, “I’d probably get eaten by a shark or a whale or something,” she joked quietly.

[maddie-penney]

Maddie shrugged, "That's how it works for me, at least. But, you have a different problem.. so I guess it's okay that it works different for everyone." Maddie turned away, looking at the wall for a moment, letting her mind wander. She almost didn't understand how to have a real conversation with Cassidy, one that didn't end in yelling and screaming, but she was determined to see it through. She was tired of yelling and fighting. She was tired of false friends, so it was now or never for the two. "Of course you could.. You could be like.. a doctor or a therapist or a lawyer.. if you wanted to. But, you could even just go back to high school and graduate.. I don't see why you couldn't, you were always smart. Especially in Chemistry." Maddie teased. "I don't think whales like to eat people.. well, maybe killer whales.. but I think the humpback whales would just be like get this thing out of my swimming pool.." Maddie let out a little laugh, "But, the shark? Yeah, you're on your own there."

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

  Cassidy knew that there had been so many people who had tried so hard to get out, and yet couldn’t, that it would be unfair for her to not take that opportunity. “I do… I’ve just learned to deal with them differently,” she explained. After all, part of her felt like she had done her job here. She had taken the fall for Maddie, she had put up with the law so that she wouldn’t have to. And now Cass was getting the chance to leave… but could she do it? Cass shook her head slowly, looking down. “I haven’t finished highschool… I can’t really get a good job. I know I won’t be moving back to Wisconsin, that’s for sure. I… I really don’t know… If I had my choice, I’d choose the ocean, but….” but she knew that wasn’t a viable answer. The ocean might be aesthetically pleasing, but it won’t pay the bills. 

[maddie-penney]

Maddie nodded, listening while she spoke. She knew there was something else in Cassidy's voice, some kind of thought or feeling she was holding back. But, she couldn't quite place it. "I suppose that's how everyone 'gets better,' right? You just.. train your problems to fit in with the rest of society?" Maddie interjected, offering a soft smile with a hint of sadness. It was the little things Maddie did, the things people failed to notice, that helped her understand what getting better truly meant. She wasn't housing drug addicts or adopting patients, but she was practicing learning to comfort another when they need it, sticking up for those who deserve it.. the things that made her more.. human. "I'm sure you could take the GED.. and just.. pass." Maddie offered, her mind focusing back on the conversation. "The ocean would be beautiful. You could like.. be a scuba diver. Or take people on scuba diving tours.. or something."

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

  Cass didn’t know what to expect from Maddie. Although she had gradually gotten better, sometimes it was still hard to predict her reaction. They were on good terms, as far as she knew, but for once that might actually make things more complicated. Cassidy was sitting at the side of her bed, rereading the letter for the 302159820936th time when Maddie came in. “Thanks… Thank you,” she said quietly. She moved over slightly to make room for Maddie. “I don’t know… I mean, I don’t know if I’m getting out of here yet…” and she wasn’t just saying that— it was a legitimate statement. She wasn’t on drugs any more, her sleep patterns had become a little bit more regular, and she hadn’t set anything ablaze in quite some time. “Where would I go…?” she repeated aloud. She didn’t repeat it just because Maddie said it, but because she was genuinly curious as to where she would -or even be able to- go if she left.

[maddie-penney]

Maddie looked over at Cassidy, biting her lip slightly. She couldn't hold her back. She couldn't be that person, not after everything these girls had went through. "I mean, I'm sure you'll get out.. you're.. doing really good. You don't even seem like.. you have any problems." Maddie explained, shrugging her shoulders. If it were up to her, Maddie would be dragging her and Darcy out of the asylum heading anywhere but here. "Yeah.." Maddie said softly, "Where would you go? I mean, I figure you won't go to Mom and Dad's house. So.. you have the world at your feet.. Would you go to the ocean? Or the woods? Or the city? Or something?" Maddie questioned, "I would want to see New York.. if I were you." Maddie filled the silence with her words, trying to keep the subject still curious as opposed to sad. 

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

  Well I mean… I don’t know…. I still have to be released from the asylum technically, but… 

[maddie-penney]

Maddie wasn't sure how to take the news. Her sister was leaving? They had just patched things up for the thousandth time. She couldn't leave now! But, Maddie knew she had to respect what her sister wanted. She couldn't let her stay here in her misery simply because Maddie might be too far gone to get any better. Maddie walked down to Cassidy's room, knocking once before opening the door. She stood in the doorway, one arm grabbing the other as she looked down. "Well.. congratulations." She said, softly. "I'm really happy for you." She continued. She moved to sit down on the bed, pulling her feet to sit Indian style. "They.. have no reason to keep you in the asylum.. so if you were to go anywhere.. and call that home.. where would you go?"

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

  Well, I won’t be going to jail, for one… 

[maddie-penney]

You're leaving me? Now..? Will you go home?

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

[cassidy-penney]

[maddie-penney]

What.. does that mean, exactly..

[cassidy-penney]

Ass Back Home // Penneys

Letter from the courts came in…. looks like I won’t be in here much longer after all…

[maddie-penney]

Oh..... 

[fcknjasey]

  All the time, love. It’s about time you went back and played with your barbies now though…or a dick, whatever you kids are into these days.

[maddie-penney]

Oh, you mean my husband? I'll make sure I go enjoy the life you'll never have. Bye bye bitch.

[fcknjasey]

  I’m not saying that, I’m just saying, it’s all a bribery act. Oh for the love of God, alrighty, I’m happy here— I don’t talk to my therapist for a reason, I don’t want a stupid bloody day pass, I don’t want anything to do with ‘getting better’ because I’m fine. Do you always stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong?

[maddie-penney]

It's a free country. But, someone needs to stand up for the people who are trying, and I'm gonna be that person today. If you don't want to get better because you're "fine," then fine. No one gives a fuck how long you stay here, but God forbid someone tries to help the people who actually want to get better. Do you always have a stick up your ass?

[fcknjasey]

  It doesn’t matter what it’s synonymous too— I have nothing outside of this place. This place is my home. My parents…well, parent, lives in England, I have a ruined modelling career outside of here… I’m better off in here than out there— that’s why I’m not trying. Dude, you do realize you have your own therapist to ask about that, right?

[maddie-penney]

Well, then why are you trying to suggest she's only trying to bribe you. She has other patients, patients who actually really like the idea. I just think it's kind of hurtful to your therapist, who's actually trying to help the people who want it. But, I know, but my therapist was in a car accident and hasn't been around.. so it's kind of hard to talk to her when she's not here..