Go Ahead And Cry, Little Boy

You know that your daddy did too You know what your mama went through You gotta let it out soon, just let it out

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

jrpsozzie:

Maddox quickly moved to hide his face in Ozzie’s neck, making the larger boy chuckle a bit as his arms moved around his boyfriend. That was really cute. Maddox pulled back and apologized, making Ozzie smiled. “No, that’s okay.” He listened as Maddox explained that Oz was sweeter than he was used to. Oh… Maddox thought he was wonderful and beautiful and nice. That was very sweet of him. Oz’s cheeks lit up as he smiled shyly at his boyfriend. “Thanks. Yeah, I get it. I’m glad you think those things about me.” Maddox ordered another drink and while he was waiting on in Ozzie leaned in kissed his temple softly. Had they been alone he probably would have kissed his lips but for now this small display of affection in public meant a lot to Ozzie.

They both looked down at Mad’s nails together, Ozzie smiling a little. “Yeah but nail polish smells… and it’s messy and it takes forever to dry and stuff. It’s kinda gross.” He chuckled before taking Maddox’s hand in his own and adding, “Looks cute on you though.” Maddox said he liked being called pretty which made Ozzie nod. He had thought that was the case. Maddox certainly was pretty. “It is nice, and you’re more girly so pretty fits well.” His eyes widened a bit at Maddox’s compliment. “You think…I’m…?” Ozzie didn’t think he’d ever genuinely been called ‘pretty’ in his life. Maybe as an insult by other guys but that was it. Ozzie smiled and just shook his head, Maddox was weird… in a good way. “Yeah um, handsome is … good. I guess.” Definitely not h o t. That was way too embarrassing. Ozzie thought of himself as a lot of things but hot wasn’t on that list.

Maddox beamed when Ozzie pressed a kiss to his forehead. He wanted so badly to cuddle up to the other teen and maybe kiss him a bit, but he refrained, not wanting to push his boyfriend when he already knew he wasn’t comfortable in the situation. “Psh, nail polish is fun,” Mad insisted, grinning up at Oz. “You just gotta be patient. But thanks; I like to think I make everything cute.” There was a teasing tilt to his voice; though his statement was rooted in what he felt to be partial fact. Others might talk shit, but he wasn’t going to let that get to him. If he did/had, where the fuck would he be now?

Maddox shrugged, grinning. “Girly stuff should be for boys, too,” he declared, taking a sip of his new, very sugary drink. “Like, why do chicks get all the fun shit, anyways?” Ozzie looked a bit taken back by Mad’s words, so the shorter boy nodded slowly, grinning. “I do think you’re pretty,” he confirmed with a small shrug of his shoulders. “But, like, if you prefer handsome, I’ll tell you you’re handsome. It’s not big deal to me.” He took another go at his drink, eyes scanning the dance floor before focusing back on Ozzie. “Are you good to just people watch all night?” he asked in a curious tone.

[jrpsozzie]

This time Ozzie took his drink a little more slowly. He took a gulp but didn’t down the whole thing right away, enjoying the feeling of Maddox’s warm thigh under his palm and his delicate hand that rested over Ozzie’s. He totally missed the fact that he had just pulled an awful pick up line and didn’t understand why Maddox was giggling. He listened to his boyfriend and nodded a little. Oh, so this was where Maddox met his older…..friends. Ozzie swallowed hard, now worried that other guys might try and take Maddox.

Why hadn’t he thought of that sooner? This was an awful idea. Some hot older guy would be way more confident and smoother than Ozzie and could probably whisk Maddox away…. right? Well… maybe not. Ozzie felt like Maddox really liked him. He didn’t seem unhappy or like he was looking for anyone else… hell, he was here supporting Ozzie and trying to make him more comfortable. Okay so maybe he didn’t have to worry about Maddox being taken from him tonight but still… it would be awkward to run into one of Maddox’s ex… flings, right?

Instead of saying something about Maddox’s “friends” who oz knew he slept with or the cheap weed comment, he just nodded and stayed quiet. Maddox mentioned not getting judged for how he chose to look and Ozzie’s eyes dropped back to his drink. He took another gulp, clearly remembering more than one occasion where his friends had laughed over what a pussy or freak or … anything else terrible they could think to call Maddox. Ozzie patted his thighs softly then looked over at the curly haired boy. “If it helps….. I really like that stuff about you. You’re really pretty, Mads….. or handsome. And handsome. Just… whichever you like better, you’re it. I like your hair and your blouses and the nail polish things is still a little weird to me but I like it.”

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox downed the rest of his drink, contemplating whether or not he should get another one. Two drinks wouldn’t get him drunk. He’d be okay to make sure Ozzie was good. So, he quickly ordered another drink, something more fruity, before turning his attention back to his boyfriend. He felt a bit relieved when Ozzie didn’t press him about any of the guys here. He was friends with most of them after the fact, but it’d still be weird. Really weird. Mostly, because he’d never brought a boyfriend here; not that he had had many..

As Ozzie spoke, Maddox’s cheeks flared up and, without really thinking, he moved to hide his face against Ozzie’s neck. Ozzie was so sweet. He retracted back, worried that doing something like that in public might freak his boyfriend out. “Sorry, just...” he trailed off, chewing at his bottom lip and letting his gaze trail down to where their hands rested against his thigh. “The shit you say... It’s so sweet. I’m not used to that. You’re just-you’re so wonderful and beautiful and nice. I’m happy you think those things, y’know?” His drink was set down and he sputtered out a thank you before downing half of it, grimacing a bit at the sweetness. Clearing his throat, he used his free hand to study his paint job, smiling a bit. “I think they look very nice,” he remarked in a joking tone, glancing up at Ozzie. “And I like being called pretty. Or handsome. Mostly pretty. It’s such a nice term, y’know? I don’t get why boys can’t be called pretty. Like, I think you’re one of the prettiest people I’ve met, but you’d probably prefer i call you handsome or hot, right?”

[jrpsozzie]

Maddox was right, the two guys kissing that Ozzie had just been starring at were just like him and Maddox. There was nothing wrong with any of them for liking men. It’s just that the other couple were shameless enough to be kissing in front of other people. “Ye….ah. You’re right.” Ozzie nodded a little, glad Maddox had turned oz’s attention back to him. Maddox was soft and kind and understanding and Ozzie felt bad for being such a party pooper. Still it was nice to know Maddox seemed to understand Ozzie’s feelings and would also understand if they had to leave. Ozzie didn’t want to do that to him though…. he wanted Maddox to have fun.

Still watching his boyfriend he smiled a tiny smile as his hand was kissed gently. Maddox was so sweet. Ozzie was happy to be here with him, even if this was wild. At least he had good company. Ozzie nodded that he would tell Maddox if he got too uncomfortable and then thanked the bartender for bringing his second drink. “So… you come here a lot? /a lot/ a lot? Or just… well, you know what I mean.” Ozzie bit at his lip for a moment then bravely rested a hand on Maddox’s thigh before continuing. “Do you have friends here?”

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox smiled, happy that Ozzie seemed to be settling down a bit and getting a bit more comfortable. It was obvious he was still on edge, just less so. It seemed that just their skin being in contact seemed to help the taller calm down, and it kind of made Maddox feel happy. Like, he was the one that was able to make Ozzie feel safe. It made his insides all gooey and his head grow fatter with pride. He couldn’t help it, though. Relationships were foreign; exploring this new area with his gorgeous boyfriend was so far enjoyable. Scary, but nice.

Maddox laughed, nose crinkling a bit. He wasn’t sure if Ozzie realized he was pulling one of awful but classic pick-up lines. “I do,” he giggled, putting his hand over Ozzie’s where it sat on his small thighs. “I mean, I suppose you could call them friends. Most of them are older..” I’ve banged most of them. “...but they’re all really nice. Fun to hang about with. Usually get me decent deals on weed, too.” He paused a moment, taking another gulp of his drink. He cleared his throat, looking around a bit. “It’s just nice knowing I won’t get made fun of here because I paint my nails or wear pretty blouses or even because my hair is long,” he remarked softly, blushing at the fact that, typically, it was Ozzie’s mates that gave him shit for that kind of stuff.

[jrpsozzie]

Ozzie listened to Maddox, still starring at all the people around them and how they didn’t seem ashamed or upset or embarrassed. It was nice in some ways and scary in another. Ozzie wasn’t sure if he could do that. He’d never done anything gay without being worried about where he was and who was around, hell he even felt guilty for thinking gay things when in certain places.

“Wh…I… ah…” Ozzie made a series of little choking like sounds as he tried to figure out what to say, mostly still starring with his mouth open. “He’s… kissing ….” honestly Ozzie wasn’t even comfortable with straight displays of affection, lust is a sin and all that. He blushed a bit and turned away, knowing it was definitely bad that he found that hot and had been starring at that couple for too long. “Maddox I don’t think I belong here.” He finally said softly, looking down into his empty glass for a moment.

Looking up at the other boy again he shook his head a little and then nervously reached out for Maddox’s hand. He was uncomfortable and worried and needed support and was starting to feel guilty. He could tell Maddox liked it here and was comfortable and Ozzie was going to ruin that by not fitting in. Probably by embarrassing Maddox too. “I’m… I’m sorry …. I just don’t… this is a lot. For me. Could you get me another drink?”

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox’s eyebrows furrowed together as Ozzie began to get flustered, following his gaze until they landed on two boys kissing. He smiled softly, using a hand to gently move Ozzie so his focus was on him instead of the couple. “Oz, it’s okay,” he reassured, dropping his hand from Ozzie’s face. “They’re just kissing. It’s like when we kiss.”

Maddox bit his lip, feelings of disappointment and guilt washing through him. He had definitely pushed Ozzie into this too early. “We can leave whenever you want to,” he said softly. It would probably mean holing up in his room, watching netflix reruns, but if it meant Ozzie wasn’t in such a bad state of mind Maddox would gladly do it. Provided he got to snuggle up to the bigger teen, of course. Though, he really wanted to just get tipsy and have a fun night. Ozzie was much more important than any of that.

Maddox took Ozzie’s hand in his, bringing it up to place a gentle kiss on it. He hoped that conveyed some amount of support. Because that’s what someone did when they liked another person; supported them. And got all romantic and shit. Nodding his head, Maddox turned to order another drink for Ozzie, not letting go of his giant paw. Instead, he gave it a squeeze before grabbing his own drink and taking another careful sip. “If you get too uncomfortable, just tell me, okay?”

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

jrpsozzie:

Ozzie felt like he hadn’t blinked in a good ten minutes and that his eyes were about to fall out of his head. As much as he knew he liked boys, like how he knew he liked Maddox, he still wasn’t open about it and didn’t exactly see gay people often. His parents never let him see anything with gay people in it if they could help it. Sure now as an adult he had seen some couples kissing on tv but wasn’t much. His conservative friends and family had deeply affected his values and sheltered him so being here was…. very strange.

Was it bad that his first thoughts when walking in were that everyone in here was going to hell? Yeah, yeah it was definitely bad. Ozzie was honestly a little embarrassed by his internalized homophobia but it had been ingrained in him for so many years that he still had some nasty gut reactions to things. Like seeing two men kissing right in front of him. And lesbians holding hands and men wearing makeup and nail polish and people …. being themselves.

It was good to see people being themselves, especially when he knew all these people were shunned and punished for self expression by the church and the people he was raised around. Still, Ozzie was struggling to take all of this in, thankful that Maddox was familiar to the place and guiding him otherwise Ozzie might have walked right into someone because he was too busy gawking.

He held his drink and nervously looked around, very aware that some of the guys in here were really /really/ attractive. Fuck. His fingers nervously tapped at his glass while he laughed at Maddox’s suggestion. “No way. I…. I don’t…. I can’t.” He shook his head and smiled over at the other boy before downing his drink. “I’m way too sober for this. What the fuck is even going on right now?” He asked quietly, leaning closer to Maddox as not to be overheard.

How did he, Ozzie, wind up here. A gay bar. Full of gay people. Being gay. Oh god, he was so going to hell!

Maddox forced out a laugh, taking a sip of his drink. Ozzie looked like he was going through cardio arrest. It made Maddox feel bad. Maybe the other boy wasn’t ready for this? He had hoped it would make Ozzie feel better, knowing that he wasn’t strange for or alone in liking boys. Another part of him had hoped the other might be okay showing affection to him in public if they were surrounded by a group of their gay peers. It seemed like instead Ozzie was a frazzled mess; a ticking bomb seconds away from going off.

“We’re at a bar full of gay people,” Maddox supplied with a shrug, taking another sip of his drink. He wanted to follow in Ozzie’s example and just down the whole tequila mix and then maybe a few more. But, one of them had to remain with a steady head on their shoulders, and it sure as fuck wasn’t going to be the taller boy. No way was he gonna sit here all night sober. But, the prospect of getting Ozzie to dance seemed rather unlikely; drunk or not. “You know, everyone here is nice,” he remarked softly, leaning into Ozzie’s space so their conversation was more private. “They aren’t any different to you or me. They aren’t gonna judge you for being you.”

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox leaned over the bar counter, flashing his fake and ordering two drinks. The bartender just rolled his eyes, smiling as he moved to start on their order. Maddox had been a frequent at this particular gay bar for awhile. He was sure the bartender knew he was underage; just liked him too much to actually give a fuck. It was a mediocre enough place where he could get away with it; and Maddox loved it here. Nobody was afraid to be themselves and everyone was rather friendly. He had found himself fitting in and making friends rather quickly upon his first visit.

Now, Maddox was here with Ozzie. He was hoping that the other boy would be more comfortable being with Maddox in public if they were in a place outside of town where nobody would judge that they liked boys. Thanking the bartender, Maddox took the drinks, sliding Ozzie’s choice of poison over to him and taking a sip of his margarita. “So; what do you think?” he asked the other boy, dark eyes scanning around the area and landing on the dance floor. “Maybe we can dance later.”

[jrpsozzie]

maddoxbrooks:

Maddox smiled as Ozzie asked if his parents would mind him bringing home a boy. Probably, but who cares? Not like they haven’t caught me doing worse than just sleeping. Instead of sharing the thought, though, Maddox kept his mouth shut. He was sure that was the last thing Ozzie would want to hear, and why worry him with minor details? 

At Ozzie’s sudden outburst, however, Maddox couldn’t help but giggle. “I don’t think our parents are close enough for mine to ring yours up and say, ‘hey, did you know your kid’s taken to spooning our precious little angel’,” he pointed out. Neither of his parents attended church despite thinking it was good for him; they were the kind of people to only show up on Christmas and Easter. Probably just to save face, too. Not that he helped that at all. “But if it makes you feel better, we’re sneak you in,” he remarked with a shrug, hoping to ease some of the worry in Ozzie’s face. “It’ll be fine. I do this all the time. Don’t worry.”

Maddox let Ozzie move his head so he was facing up, cheeks still a bright pink. He felt mortified to even be discussing this sort of thing, yet here they were: talking about feelings and shit. He couldn’t help but let his eyes flutter shut as Ozzie sweetly placed kisses along his neck, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah,” he confirmed, swallowing. “It’s weird, but I like you. I just dunno how to do that kind of thing.” His mind flitted momentarily to all the shit he got himself into, especially with other, usually older guys. A face popped into his head and his eyes widened. “Jack!” he exclaimed, a feeling of guilt washing over him. “Shit, I forgot about him..”

Maddox’s cute little giggle wasn’t reassuring but his words were. It was true, it didn’t take long for Maddox’s parents to go back to not attending church regularly. It was sad to Ozzie but very fortunate for him in this moment. If they did even recognize and remember him they probably wouldn’t bother to tell his parents. He played with his hands a bit more as he thought about it then shrugged. “If you really think they won’t tell my parents….then okay.” Ozzie really was getting tired and really didn’t want to worry about this right now. Hopefully it would all work out fine… and if not then he could deal with it tomorrow morning.

Ozzie smiled softly against Maddox’s skin then pulled away to look at him. Maddox liked him back… there was a definite fluttering in his chest and a happiness and a – Jack? “What?” Ozzie took a moment to remember tonight’s events… such as Maddox arriving here with Jack and Jack trying to scare Ozzie off. “Oh… um, text him? See if he’s still here.” Ozzie sighed softly and pulled away from Maddox before rubbing at his face. “I…I think I left a jacket downstairs. I’ll find it and then… text you for an update or something. We can split an uber.” He smiled softly at Maddox but it was a shallow smile. He was suddenly worried that Maddox might feel guilty and go home with Jack instead of him.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

fin

[jrpsozzie]

‘Oh thank goodness’ Ozzie thought as he sighed at hearing Maddox didn’t want the hotel room. It kind of would be a waste of money and Ozzie didn’t exactly have that much to be wasting it on hotel rooms just for naps. Only a second after the relief though was worry. Where would they sleep then? He definitely couldn’t go home. Luckily Maddox suggested a possible solution. Ozzie played with his fingers and looked down at his hands before asking, “would…. they mind you bringing a boy home though?” It was worth asking. He didn’t exactly think Mad’s parents would be happy to see that considering the fact that he was out and they knew what he got up to.

Then it really hit him. “Oh no. No, they can’t see me at all…. they’ll tell my parents I’ll be in trouble anyways and probably worse than if I just go home….uhum.” Ozzie was starting to panic as he searched for a solution to this. “You have to sneak me in.” He finally said, not at all joking.

Maddox got up to….. hug him? Ozzie hugged back gently, looking at the smaller man hiding his face in Ozzie’s chest. At his words Ozzie’s brows rose and then he moved his thumb and finger to Maddox’s jaw to turn his face up towards Ozzie. “You guess?” After a long pause he leaned in to kiss Maddox’s cheek and then a few times down his neck. “You better not be /guessing/…” he liked Maddox, no doubt about it. He needed to know Maddox was feeling the same though and not just going along with this right now because he was drunk or because he wanted someone to kiss him.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox smiled as Ozzie asked if his parents would mind him bringing home a boy. Probably, but who cares? Not like they haven’t caught me doing worse than just sleeping. Instead of sharing the thought, though, Maddox kept his mouth shut. He was sure that was the last thing Ozzie would want to hear, and why worry him with minor details? 

At Ozzie’s sudden outburst, however, Maddox couldn’t help but giggle. “I don’t think our parents are close enough for mine to ring yours up and say, ‘hey, did you know your kid’s taken to spooning our precious little angel’,” he pointed out. Neither of his parents attended church despite thinking it was good for him; they were the kind of people to only show up on Christmas and Easter. Probably just to save face, too. Not that he helped that at all. “But if it makes you feel better, we’re sneak you in,” he remarked with a shrug, hoping to ease some of the worry in Ozzie’s face. “It’ll be fine. I do this all the time. Don’t worry.”

Maddox let Ozzie move his head so he was facing up, cheeks still a bright pink. He felt mortified to even be discussing this sort of thing, yet here they were: talking about feelings and shit. He couldn’t help but let his eyes flutter shut as Ozzie sweetly placed kisses along his neck, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah,” he confirmed, swallowing. “It’s weird, but I like you. I just dunno how to do that kind of thing.” His mind flitted momentarily to all the shit he got himself into, especially with other, usually older guys. A face popped into his head and his eyes widened. “Jack!” he exclaimed, a feeling of guilt washing over him. “Shit, I forgot about him..”

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

jrpsozzie:

“Yeah…. like that.” Ozzie said softly, watching Maddox as he seemed surprised to hear that Ozzie had feelings for him. His cheeks went pink and somehow he was even cuter than usual when embarrassed.  Still, Ozzie was nervous. He had just confessed something that Maddox may not be so okay with when he was sober. He also didn’t seem to be specifically happy about it but maybe Ozzie just wasn’t judging things correctly. Maddox picked at his painted nails and his next words made Ozzie’s eyes widen. Oh. Had Maddox thought….? Ozzie bit his lip a little bit. “Well thats… not… I’m not one of those people.” He sighed and rubbed at his left eye before standing up slowly this time. “What I am is tired. Did, um, I mean I guess the hotel idea was a ‘no’ right?” Slowly he stepped closer to Maddox smiling softly. It was awful to be thinking about going home right now but Ozzie figured he had to be realistic at some point. He wasn’t going to waste money on a hotel room just for himself and neither Ozzie nor Maddox’s parents would be very happy about their sons showing up smelling like booze and sweat in the middle of the night. 

Maddox let out a small laugh, shaking his head. “You’re not spending money on a hotel room, Oz,” he snorted, shaking his head. “If your parents would get upset about you coming home like this, you can stay at mine. Not like my parents would expect me to come home sober.” Biting his lip, he stood up, looking at Ozzie a moment. He was bad at this kind of stuff; better at sex, honestly. It was weird, but Maddox knew he liked Ozzie, too. At least, he did drunk. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around Ozzie’s middle, pressing the side of his face to the other’s chest in order to hide his face. “I guess I like you, too,” he muttered, embarrassed to even be thinking such thoughts, let alone telling him. He’d most definitely regret it in the morning, but right now it seemed like the right thing to say.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

jrpsozzie:

Ozzie did his best to try and focus on Maddox right now. He was trying to listen to and understand the other boy but it seemed like their intoxication was keeping them from reaching the same conclusions. Ozzie’s brow furrowed as he tried to figure this out. Why would he only kiss Maddox to find out if he liked boys? He had known ozzie liked boys for a while now… sure it was secret to most people but somehow Maddox had wrangled it out of him a while ago so why did he seem so surprised? Had he thought Ozzie was lying? The larger man couldn’t quite pick what to say, “Wh… uh… I, um.” His hand moved up to scratch at the back of his neck. “The point….” he tried to make eye contact with Maddox and hoped he was making this clear. “The point is I like you… that’s… that’s why I kissed you. Am…” Ozzie let out a nervous chuckle. “Am I stupid or something? Don’t you usually only kiss people you like?” 

Maddox looked up at Ozzie as he stuttered a bit, lips turned downwards slightly due to his confusion. He had figured that yeah, Ozzie liked boys, but he just needed to make sure. Isn’t that what most people needed? A little show of reassurance? But now he wasn’t so sure. And now their eyes met and Maddox couldn’t bring himself to look down, too caught up in the other’s gaze. “You like me,” he repeated slowly, heart hammering against his chest and eyes going wide. “Like, like like me?” He felt incredibly stupid for even using that phrasing, a his cheeks ruddied. He adverted his eyes, picking at the chipped paint on his nails. “I dunno,” he confessed, feeling his cheeks redden further. “Sometimes people kiss me because they just wanna fuck me.”

[jrpsozzie]

Ozzie watched Maddox, trying to figure out what he was thinking. He played with his shirt a bit when Maddox repeated that oz didn’t want to have sex. “Well, not…. never…. just not…. tonight.” He did want to have sex with Maddox maybe someday but he didn’t want that right now and he knew their relationship was nowhere near that point. Ozzie wasn’t a casual sex person and definitely wasn’t trying to just hook up with Maddox once and then never talk to him again. No, he cared about Maddox. They were friends. On top of that Ozzie definitely had a crush on the curly haired boy. He didn’t want them to be a one time thing.

Ozzie nodded that he’d already slept with a guy, flinching at the word ‘fucked’. Not only was it swearing which was a sin but it was also just…. a very crude word. Slept together was a nicer way to put it. Maddox seemed confused and Ozzie wasn’t sure why honestly. “I… wh… what do you mean?” Wasn’t it obvious? Couldn’t Maddox tell Ozzie liked him? He wasn’t exactly hiding it by kissing him just now and telling him how pretty he was. What about this was confusing?

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox blinked at Ozzie, frowning slightly. He didn’t understand any of this. He couldn’t even recall the last boyfriend he’d had; he went on dates, yeah, but mostly they were just for sex. He’d never really had a boy want to wait. Which was fine. He’d never actually liked a boy as much as he did Ozzie. It was just all kind of weird and confusing. He wasn’t sure what to think or say because Ozzie was probably the worst kind of boy to like like. He was closeted, for starters, and too afraid to come out anytime soon. Hell, Maddox had practically pressured him into admitting his gayness, which in retrospect was an asshole move, but if he hadn’t Ozzie probably never would’ve admitted it to him. Being with Ozzie would be similar to being back in the closet, something Maddox didn’t fancy. Yet, he still really liked the kid. He couldn’t see the other liking him, though; he was in a completely different world.

“I mean,” Maddox started, biting his lip. “Like, there’s no point of kissing me if you’ve already realized you liked boys. What was the point of any of this?” The only other explanation he could come up with was that Ozzie actually meant he was pretty and liked him. It seemed like it shouldn’t be the answer but there wasn’t any other sort of conclusion he could reach.

[jrpsozzie]

Far too late it hit Ozzie what suggesting a /hotel room/ sounded like. Oh no. That wasn’t what he really intended but Maddox was already crying and snapping at him. “Hey, no, I–” Ozzie frowned, it sure how to explain it away. He was scared he’d just upset Maddox more on accident. Thankfully instead of leaving, the other boy came back to the bed. Sure he was sitting far away from Ozzie but at least he hadn’t left. Maybe he would listen.

For the moment though Ozzie listened to Maddox and tried to understand but in his current state not everything made sense. “I don’t…..I didn’t mean…for sex, Maddox.” Ozzie rubbed his face with his hands a bit. He was feeling tired finally. “I meant just to sleep, so… so our parents don’t see.” Ozzie sighed and played with his shirt a bit so he wouldn’t have to look at Maddox. “I’ve had sex with a guy before.” Ozzie admitted, quietly but definitely loudly enough that Maddox could hear. Was it relevant? Sort of. Was Ozzie going to regret blurting that while drunk? Probably. Maybe it would made Maddox worry less about being ‘an experiment’ since Ozzie already knew for certain that he liked men.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox blinked a few times, a new rush of confusion flooding over him. “You don’t want to have sex?” he repeated slowly, looking over at Ozzie with bloodshot eyes. “You’ve already fuck a guy?” He didn’t get it. Why would any of this be happening? Didn’t Ozzie just want someone to test out or whatever? But that wasn’t it, because the other boy had clearly just stated he’d already slept with a guy, and that all he wanted to do with Maddox was sleep with him. Like, actual sleep. It was confusing. It made his head hurt. “I don’t understand,” he said, looking down at his lap. “Why would you kiss me if you’d already figured yourself out? What’s the point?”

[jrpsozzie]

Ozzie was so thankful when Maddox stopped and listened to him. Thank god. He knew he couldn’t keep up if Maddox had run out but Ozzie wasn’t done speaking yet. He listened to Maddox but almost all he heard was ‘I don’t know if I want this’. What? What happened to 'you’re gorgeous’? And the laughing and the happiness? Why wouldn’t Maddox want this? Did Ozzie fuck up? He probably did. He finally found a boy who he thought liked him and he messed it all up without even knowing it.

He could feel his eyes tearing up. Being drunk was awful he couldn’t control his emotions. Ozzie didn’t want to start crying right now but that had hurt. He wanted to be with Maddox… like be friends, not just fuck buddies. Maddox was trying to leave again and… Ozzie still didn’t want that so he blurted, “we could get a hotel room! Or a motel room!” They were desperate ideas but Ozzie wanted to stay around Maddox as long as he could. “I’ll pay.” Ozzie looked down at the floor, “then we don’t have to be here…..or at home….” currently Ozzie was still living with his parents until he moved away for college.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox could feel his stomach drop. A hotel room? Did Ozzie think he was a whore or something? Or that all Maddox wanted was to fuck? He could feel himself start to tear up, lower lip wobbling. Why did he even care what Ozzie thought? He’d been asking himself a lot of questions like that, but the answers seemed fucking obvious. He liked the other boy. They hung out so much and he was so unlike any other boy Maddox had spent time with. He was sweet and caring and a bit mixed-up. But that still didn’t mean he wanted Ozzie to use him to figure himself out and then just leave him behind.

“I already told you, I’m not your experiment, Ozzie!” Maddox snapped, tears freely falling as he moved his hands to wipe away at them. Everything was too much. He wanted to stay with Ozzie but he needed to get out of that room. All he wanted now was to go home and sleep so he could deal with his hangover the next morning. Maddox sniffled, moving away from the door and sitting at the opposite end of the bed as Ozzie. “I’d rather be your friend who helps you with everything rather than some boy you fuck to figure yourself out and then never talk to again,” he confessed quietly. "And my head's too fucked for me to get any of this. I just like you too much to be okay with being nothing. I don't want to have sex with you; it's just confusing me."

[jrpsozzie]

Ozzie chuckled, he did think Maddox was sexy but he didn’t exactly plan on /that/ happening. Or on having Maddox notice. How embarrassing. Ozzie was a mess right now and he knew it but it seemed funny rather than bad. He liked the way Maddox was grinning at him, even though that was probably mostly because of how cross-faded he was. Ozzie chose to ignore that and pretend that smile was all for him.

It didn’t last long though. In what felt like an instant Maddox was darting towards the door and Ozzie had said the wrong thing. “Mads!” Ozzie called, grabbing for Maddox’s arm but missing. Ozzie hopped to his feet but wobbled, not steady enough for getting up so quickly. Fuck. Was he about to black out? Ozzie sat back down holding his head. “No, wait.” He protested but quieter this time because of his head. “Maddox I didn’t mean…. I just… w…what if someone came in?” He used the weak excuse to try and get Maddox to at least stay and listen for a moment more.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox stood at the door, hand on the knob. All he had to do was turn it and leave. But, he couldn't. Ozzie sounded so upset but Maddox couldn't /think/. Everything in his head was swimming and he couldn't catch a hold of his own thoughts. Least, any of the logical ones. "No, I know," he said quickly, staring down at the door. "I understand 'cause you're scared and stuff. I just-i don't know. I don't know if I want this." He swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. It felt so hot in here and Maddox couldn't put his finger down on any of the emotions he was feeling. "I can be a hookup or a rebound or whatever," he began quietly, shaking his head. "I just don't want to be anyone's experiment." Taking a chance, he looked over at Ozzie. The boy was obviously drunk out of his mind. Maddox was pretty bad, too, but he did this more. He had to play mom and then he could get out of dodge. "I'll go grab you some water."

[jrpsozzie]

Ozzie liked this. The two of them close together and laughing and happy and kissing. It was nice. He needed this. Maddox looked him in the eyes and insisted, making Ozzie blush more. “No….” he argued weakly before smiling at the feeling of Maddox running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t mind? Oh… the smile fell off Ozzie’s face, replaced by a surprised look. Maddox’s mouth moved lower, kissing Ozzie’s neck and then nipping there. He gasped softly at the feeling, his hands instinctively squeezing Maddox’s hips. That felt good. Really good. “You don’t?” Ozzie asked softly, still surprised by the idea that Maddox didn’t mind.

Ozzie really wanted to continue this. He really did. Something inside him said it was the wrong thing to do though. Something about this just….. didn’t sit well. He was too drunk to figure it out but with a sigh he gently moved Maddox away from himself. “I, uh, you’re nice we just….. can’t here.” He didn’t sound very sure at all.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox pulled away, shaking his head and laughing softly. "Course not," he said, snorting a bit. "Like, happens. Just means you think I'm /sexy/." His tone took on a teasing tone, and he grinned widely so Ozzie would recognize he was joking. He leaned forward, pressing a small kiss to the other's cheek. Maddox frowned for a moment before ducking his head in hopes of hiding his disappointment. He hasn't expected it to go anywhere more, but it didn't stop him from feeling a bit rejected; something he hadn't faced in awhile. "I'm nice," he repeated, trying not to sound too hurt about the short comment. " yeah, I know. It's okay. I'll just-I'll leave." He quickly got up, running a hand through his disheveled hair. He was too embarrassed to look Ozzie in the eye, so he quickly darted towards the door, suddenly in desperate need of fresh air.

[jrpsozzie]

‘Youre excited’ Maddox pointed out making Ozzie blush right away “what? No im not.” The drunk boy said too quickly, sounding defensive. He was smiling widely though, enjoying being close to Maddox and kissing him and how pretty his little laugh sounded. Shifting again to try and hide it better Ozzie chuckled, “I’m not!” He kissed at Maddox’s cheeks again and then around his face, holding his hips and trying to keep Maddox above him and not actually on his lap. He grinned before kissing Mad’s lips again briefly. Ozzie was definitely excited and would have been mortified if he was sober but…. he wasn’t so he found it kind of funny honestly, even though he was doing his best to hide it and think of bad things to make it go away.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox snorted as he laughed, meeting Ozzie's wide grin with one of his own. He let the other kiss him again before pulling away, trying to catch the other boy's eye. "Yes you are," he insisted with a little giggle, moving a hand to card through Ozzie's fine, blonde hair. "But it's okay; I don't mind." Ducking down, Maddox moved to press a kiss against Ozzie's neck, nipping lightly at the soft, pale skin.

[jrpsozzie]

Maddox easily slid into Ozzie’s lap and let his tongue slip into his mouth. Thank goodness. Ozzie really was scared of being rejected by Maddox but thankfully things seemed to be going well so far. Really well. Maddox was in his lap and kissing him deeply and had his arms around Ozzie’s neck. Yeah, this was good. Really good.

Maddox pressed closer and Ozzie couldn’t help but hold him a little tighter too, his arms sliding around Maddox’s waist. To his surprise, Maddox blurted a compliment but then kissed Ozzie again before he could even react. Oh. Maddox thought he was gorgeous. That was weird because he thought Maddox was gorgeous. He thought Maddox was way out of his league too…. yet here they were. Yeah…. they were definitely drunk. Maybe they should stop? Ozzie was a bit conflicted now. His face and chest felt warm and he couldn’t believe Maddox really felt that way but part of him was scared to keep going, thinking that maybe this was a bad idea. They were too drunk to be doing something like this.

Ozzie didn’t stop though, instead he kept kissing Maddox and focused on the feeling of the other man’s mouth on his own. God this was nice. He really wanted to slide a hand down and grab Maddox’s ass but that would be rude right? He couldn’t do that…. Ozzie shifted Maddox in his lap a little as he felt himself starting to get hard. Oh no. That wasn’t good, he couldn’t do that. Hopefully Maddox hadn’t felt it and wouldn’t mind being shifted a bit so Ozzie could try and hide it. That was embarrassing. Ozzie still didn’t want to stop kissing Maddox though. It was a great feeling and Ozzie kind of wanted to kiss Maddox forever. He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath and then peppered Maddox’s face with kisses, even placing a few on his jaw and neck. “You’re prettier.” Oz mumbled before sweetly nuzzling his jaw a little.

[maddoxbrooks-blog]

Maddox kept kissing Ozzie, happy that the other boy seemed to want him close. He’d never realized how badly he wanted an actually snog fest with this beautiful, shy, closeted church boy, but now that they were in the midst of it he never wanted it to stop. Kissing Ozzie was addicting; Maddox could only hope that they’d have this sort of opportunity again. He wasn’t quite sure if they would, honestly; it’d depend on how Ozzie reacted to everything. Sober.

Ozzie shifted Maddox on his lap and-oh. He could definitely feel the other boy getting hard against him, which wasn’t new for him but it was Ozzie. Half of him was worried the other would freak out on him, but another half wanted to tease him so he could see a pretty blush spread across his face and then snog him some more. Becuase, well, Ozzie was adorable. And hot. Maddox’s mind was too muddled to settle on just one description of the broad man, so he just tried to focus on their lips pressing together. 

Suddenly, Maddox was taking in a lungful of air, squeezing his eyes shut and letting out a soft laugh as Ozzie began to kiss at his face. Having all this attention from the other felt so nice. No boy had ever been so sweet to him; not during simple make-out sessions or sex, for that matter. It felt a bit odd; like Maddox wasn’t totally in his zone. But, it felt too nice for him to break away. Maybe if he had been sober, he would’ve pulled away because he wasn’t used to sweet and Ozzie wasn’t used to boys. Instead, he let out another giggle, tilting his head back slightly for Ozzie, and pointing out, “You’re excited.”