â And thatâs what true love really is. Itâs not this fairy-tale life that never knows pain, but two souls facing it together and diminishing it with unconditional love
They donât know iâve waited all my life | CLOSED
All your life youâre searching for someone to share your life with. Someone to love you at your best but also your worst. Someone who brings the best in you and makes you see the world differently. For Caden he had found that. A year ago he met a girl named Madellaine and she rocked his world.
She couldnât scream. It just wouldnât come out.
The noises she made were more described as muffled groans and intense sobs.Tears were streaking down her cheeks and she felt as if her rib cage was cracking underneath her skin from how quietly she retained control over her vocal expression of pain. She felt swollen and blown up like a balloon, then catered out to doctors who made huffing examples of how to breathe, looking like bloated monkeys with air in their cheeks. She saw this whole shuffle as ridiculous, how they just scrambled around over a women going through extensive pain and treated her like a bomb. She figured she should have just had him at home, could almost feel the calm, positive silence of it as she squeezed the bed sheets so tightly, she could feel the mattress ripping beneath her grip.
âCadenâŠâ she breathed, her hand reaching out as she fought tears, a small, embarrassed peek of a smile crawling onto her lips as she felt his skin embrace into hers. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it hard, her eyes closing as her face scrunched with another push.
âGet him out, get him out, get him out,â she whispered insistently, desperation soaked deep into her eyes as they burst open and into Urchinâs blue oasis. Itâs all theyâd wanted for what felt like forever now, each day past the original due date like gambling; exciting and nerve-racking and just a matter of time before something extreme took place.
For all the pain that washed through her every crevice, she couldnât decide if sheâd hit the jackpot yet. It just didnât feel right. It felt like fighting, it felt like war. Her silent panic just hurt her heart and all the limbs she owned. Any minute now, sheâd just explode, the pain expanding within, the tears flooding from her helplessly. Theyâd been waiting for this day and Maddie just couldnât wait til it was over.
âHere he comes!â she heard, a strangled groan of relief escaping her as more tears surged.
âAnother push, you can do it!â
She couldnât breathe when she heard that.
You can do it.
Those words printed in bright letters to the back of her eyelids and she just cried harder.
They sunk into skin, lived within her soul and danced with her heart.
You can do it.
Maddie realized how much doubt she carried. She realized how sheâd been told ever since she could remember listening, that she couldnât, when she was living proof she could.
The world just terrified her so much. And she was being given a wealth of opportunity to fail. And thatâs always what sheâd been prepared to do. But now, with all of this on the line, there was something to do it all for. And she could hear people who truly believed in her tell her, she could do it.
She never realized how much she needed those four words.
âYou can do it, babe,â she felt Urchin say, his voice melting into her like a blessing.
She nodded along, jaw tense, and knew it herself.
She could do this.
Like the miracle he was, he screamed for her, and the sound echoed like bells. Her head fell back and Maddie couldnât believe she still had more tears left in her. She sobbed and felt Cadenâs hand leave her momentarily, the sound of happy, chattering blurring into deluded words. She kept her eyes shut and didnât open them until she felt Cadenâs hand returned on her, running back through her long, gold hair. She blinked them open, battling through the liquid that no longer burdened her with quantity.
And thatâs when she knew sheâd hit the jackpot.
He glowed and she smiled in awe, in an unfaltering amazement. She couldnât believe it, but she cried more. And carefully, he was placed in her arms.
Maddie wasnât really sure what was home anymore, but if she could have put a person down as an address, sheâd choose him, a million times sheâd choose him. She barely knew this little guy and she loved him more than she had ever loved herself over the entire course of her life. He was bright pink and confused and crying and so tired and she just knew. She knew that this was the reason sheâd been put on this earth. She felt like it all finally made sense.
âHello,â she whispered over him, laughing in between her breaths.
Everything about him was perfect and it was just the beginning, just the first damn chapter.
She shook her head and had to tear her eyes away to find Cadenâs above them both, locking them there for a moment in an unspoken agreement. This baby was their world. Against all odds, they would live every waking moment to give this baby everything they never had. They said it time and time again over the course of these past few months, but Maddie could tell they meant it now. They had their purpose.
âAgainst all odds?â she got out weakly, eyelids heavy.
âAgainst all odds,â he agreed.
And nothing ever sounded so much like love before.
Youâre welcome! Oh, youâre having a boy? Did you pick a name already? Haha, sounds like your unborn child and I would get along just fine then. Bed times are for the weak, I swear it. But I guess, thatâs not cool when heâs keeping you upâŠso sorry. Aww, thatâs mad cute though, and for future reference, rebellious children are the best types of children. Donât let anyone tell you otherwise. Nope.Â
Ah, okay, not too shabby for your first smart phone. Oh GodâŠ.please ignore the fact that I just said shabby. Itâs nice to meet you too Maddie! OH and hi Maddieâs unborn son, since youâre clearly up too. Howâs life been treating ya, Maddie?
We're naming him Rain. I really don't know when we decided, but we just started calling him that and it stuck. Don't be sorry, I admit I'm pretty weak. Very much so with my sleep. I'll probably knock out anytime now. Oh, I just hope I'll be able to handle him...Urchin and I...we're pretty quiet people. He'd definitely shake things up, not like he won't already.
Haha, I'll ignore it, not that I'm picky with other people's word choice though. Like please, say whatever feels right. I won't judge. But I have to agree that I am a very lucky girl. I have very good friends. I'm sure he says hi back! He probably just dedicated a whole kick to you!
Life...is hectic. I mean, I'm having a baby, so it's hard not to say anything like that, but we're rolling along, gonna tackle this life all together. I've been a little stressed because Rain's 40 weeks...and well, we passed his due date by five days now. So that and just making sure everything's ready for him when he gets here...it's exciting and scary and I am so sorry, Poca. I probably sound so predictable for a pregnant girl...How is life treating you?Â
Given the context Iâm gonnaâ go ahead and assume youâre pregnant, so CONGRATULATIONS! I donât know what to tell you about the whole baby kicking thing, I donât like have any experience with that, but I guess that means itâs healthyâŠright?
And yaaaaay for smartphones. Is it the new huge for no reason iPhone? Oh, Iâm Poca by the way.
Thank you so much! Oh and don't worry about it! I'm so used to it at this point. I just have this feeling he doesn't like bed times so much. Every time mommy is ready to pass out, he gets louder than ever. My boyfriend tries to tell me it's just him saying goodnight, but I think I might have a rebel on my hands.
No way, my tiny hands would always be dropping that thing. It's a...5? I think. A 5S? Something like that. But it's nice to meet you, Poca! I'm Maddie, as I kind of already introduced? But it feels more polite saying it again.
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