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@choosingtobelost
Get it? Sweets for my sweet. I know, super lame but I couldn’t resist. For the man who constantly puts a smile on my face and lights up my life, I hope I can continue to do the same for you. Happy Birthday, you deserve the best, never forget that.
Movie night with Roger is always fun.
If you don’t mind really strange horror movies, it’s Roger’s turn to pick and you’re always more than welcome to come over. More the merrier.
I was just fucking with you, but just so we’re clear, when you say strange do you mean like strange in a funny way because it’s so bad or strange as in the killer is to some weird shit? If it’s the former then I’m so in. But how’ve ya been little lady? Been a while since I’ve seen your face, what’s going on in the wild and fabulous life of Aurora?
Movie night with Roger is always fun.
Especially when I get to choose the movie. He’ll have Agony stuck in his head all week.
I’m actually offended that I’ve never been invited to one of your movie nights. It’s cool though, I see you don’t love me no more Ro.
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
She kept smiling that same sad smile at him and Herc knew very well that it meant. It meant that he was wasting his breath. It meant that she was listening but not processing his words, just taking them at face value to let him get them out, categorizing them as ‘nice’ but not ‘true’. “You don’t believe me.” He stated rather than asked, because he knew the answer very well to that question. She didn’t believe in what goodness she had. She didn’t believe in what he saw, what he continues to see in her, and it genuinely confused him. How could she be so wrong? “Of course I’ve been told, but that doesn’t make me worry any less about you.” He’d always worry about Poca. When she goes off on her own, or goes on hikes with Kovu, he worries. He worries that she might not come back, that she might hurt herself, that he might have to hold her hand from her bedside at the hospital again. If anything that moment hurt him the most. He had watched her cry, he let her cry because he knew she was scared, scared of losing him, of never being able to see him again and it hurt her. But she failed to realize that while he was being strong for her time and time again, he was just as scared of losing her as well to her recklessness.
He worried often but he let her do as she pleased. He let her do as she needed because he knew better than to play hero for her most times. He knew better than to prevent her or attempt at stopping her actions, because then she’d only push against him harder. Hercules understood that the only way Poca was able to learn was through doing, through trying and failing, from making her own mistakes. She just needed him to be there in the end to comfort her, tell her it’s okay that she fell, and that he would pick her up.
He always picked her up. And he always would so long as she’d let him.
Hercules sighed then, mimicking her actions. It was a sigh of almost defeat. Almost. His own patience, his naturally calm demeanor was quickly being compromised. He felt it wearing thinner and thinner as the conversation carried on. This song and dance - this “I’m not good enough for you” “But you are” - was getting old. “I thought you felt the same about me - why are you insisting on pushing me away?” was his frustrated reply. “I don’t get it, Poca. I just don’t. Like I…I don’t know what else you want me to say. Do you want me to take it back? Because I won’t.” He shook his head, desperation written in his features.
"I am looking at the bigger picture.” He forced out, because he grew tired. Hercules was genuinely tired of her trying to tell him that what he felt was wrong. He was tired of arguing this with her. Out of all the reactions and aftermaths his confession could have brought on, he surely didn’t see this one. “And I don’t know about yours, but my bigger picture has you in it. Us in it.” He tried to reason with her, squeezing the hand that held his gently. “…I guess you have to try your hardest not to hurt me then, because you’re not shaking me this easily, Poca.” He took their intertwined hands and rested his chin on top of them. Much like she tells him all the time, he wanted to assure her that no matter where they took this “thing” now between them, he was always her best friend first, and removing him from her life would be an impossible feat. “Just because you’ve seen it before doesn’t mean it has to be that way. We won’t end up that way if you stop thinking that we will.”
Poca wondered if this is what an inescapable fear did to people, if the almost stuttering of her heart and constant careful turning over of words in her was a thing most people dealt with. She wondered if, maybe, this was how Herc felt a few moments ago. If maybe the idea that his confession would shake their friendship’s once strong foundation was what kept him quiet for so long - and no, she didn’t mean in the usual quiet Hercules way. And then he did something he hardly ever did around her - he sighed...at her. As if she was starting to wear through his normally thick patience, as if she was frustrating him. That’s when it hit her.
She was unintentionally doing the one thing she hadn’t originally meant to do, she was slowly starting to push him away. She continued to do it as she denied the things he apparently saw in her, and she hadn’t even realized she was doing it, until now at least. Poca had always believe the act of pushing someone away came with more force, more grinding and chiseling away at hardened hearts. She was learning now that this instance felt more like they were magnets set at the exact same polarity, designed to push one another away with no effort in it at all. That was weird...really weird, because she always believed they were set at opposite polarities, meant to attract and naturally gravitate towards one another.
The fear of them becoming crumbling fixtures was making her keep him at bay.
“I do love you” she insisted quietly, biting down on her bottom lip as she tried to find the right words. Words that, this time, wouldn’t unintentionally hurt him...hurt them. “And I’m not trying to push you away, I swear. I just...kinda’ want you to be aware that I,” she stopped then, fighting down the ‘I really suck’ accompanied with a pained bitter laugh, fighting down years of a well hidden self hatred that sometimes turned her warm heart into an massive icy thing taking up space in her chest. But looking at him now, and hearing the frustration wrapped around his words made her realize that there was no use of insisting on being that girl with him. Because she had never been that girl around him before, he never gave her reason to be. That was one of the many peculiar things about him that she loved. “No, I don’t want you to take it back.” she shook her head finally.
“My bigger picture has us in it too.” she smiled, finding comfort in the gentle way that he squeezed her hand. “I just, and hear me out here okay,” she began cautiously, feeling the need to at least explain herself though it wouldn’t do much to change his mind. “I don’t want us to get all...messed up and shit, you know what I mean? Like, if this gets messed up in any way then what about our friendship? Like what if you go away forever and never wanna’ talk to me again and I lose you. I’m so used to knowing you’re always going to be there that I don’t want to know what it’d feel like to one day wake up and you’re just...not in my life anymore. A me without you just sounds weird and crazy and fucking terrifying as hell and I’m just scared, okay? I’m scared.” The words came rushing out, thoughts jumbling over one another as she rushed through them all. She didn’t care if she sounded like some dumb little kid just then, because in hind sight she’s always known that’s what she was - just some dumb child who’s afraid of everything and nothing all at the same time. Poca just knew she needed the words to be heard. And strangely enough, she felt slightly better, less burdened. “I just want you to promise me that you’re always gonna’ be there Herc.” she finished with a quiet sigh. She looked up at him, quietly waiting for him to somehow manage to make her feel like her fears were trivial and like she’d be fine...they’d be just fine. She waited for him to make her feel better, like he always did.
The weird thing was that she knew in her heart she needed to stop doing that too - depending on him as if everything in life would be wrong without him. Call her crazy but, she was pretty sure that there was no such thing as a Pocahontas without a Hercules, she was too used to his presence that she couldn’t recall what life was like before she knew him.
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
The silence that fell over them, Hercules was sure it was wrapping around his chest, squeezing him, suffocating him. His heart - shattering, like it were made of ice, and Poca’s lack of response was literally chiseling at it’s core, tick by tick. This was what he feared, but even the most preparation, the most anticipation couldn’t have mentally prepared him for what it would feel like.
"I…" she began, and Hercules sat a little straighter, eyes opening a little wider, giving her his utmost attention. She told him that if Simba were to come back, it wouldn’t matter. She told him that Kovu wasn’t someone she saw in a romantic light. She told him that his feelings mattered, and that he never should have hid them from her our of fear that they wouldn’t be reciprocated. And she was right, it was ridiculous of him, so ridiculous, he hung his head down then. Poca was his best friend, always has been, so why had he been so afraid to share this one thing with her? Probably because it would rock the very foundation of said friendship, but he bit his tongue. Because she’d fight him back, saying that he should always express himself, to her, and to everyone - but the boy couldn’t help he was shy, couldn’t help he was reserved, rather being an observer than an active participant.
She said he was kind hearted, gentle, genuine. She was convinced there lived an angel inside of him, and that made him laugh, eyes sparkling as he looked up at her. He was merely trying his best to be a good person. He wasn’t perfect. He was plenty flawed - he wasn’t super smart, and a few years back, he wasn’t very faithful either. But he attempted in many ways to make up for those kinds of things.
But when she told him she loved him…when she told him she loved him too, to Hercules nothing else mattered. Nothing else could possibly matter because she felt the same, she loved him back. And not only did she love him too, but she’d leave whatever life she was happening to lead for him. She felt that they were always meant to be together and maybe somewhere deep down he always felt that too.
Hercules wrinkled his nose, shaking his head as Poca continued on in her little rant. Why would he choose her? It was such a loaded question, one he’d answer with ease if she let him right now. But she just couldn’t see why he wanted to give his heart to her so, comparing herself to the past girls he had been seeing. “Please stop,” he asked softly, practically pleading with her. “Stop comparing yourself to them, I already know those things. You’ve always been different, Poca. And I think that’s why I chose you. You balance me out.” He said as if it were so simple of a concept. “You think you’re wild, and you never make sense. But I think you’re just spontaneous - where I’m more routine. You make me break out of what I find comfortable. And yes - I worry about you more than anything, all the time, because I never know what you’re gonna do sometimes but…it’d be awful boring if I didn’t have to.” He explained, giving her a small encouraging smile. “Plus, you focus on all that’s so bad. What about all the good things about you? Like how your happiness is so….I don’t know…potent? That it makes everyone around you happy? What about how your heart, it’s so big, and you want to give your love everyone you come in contact with the same. And you’re giving. You give so much - sometimes to people you don’t even know, and you never expect anything at all, Poca.” Hercules shook his head again then, not understanding why she was doing this to herself. Looking at her, hearing the thickness in her throat, he could tell any time now she might cry, and gods did he not want her to, not because of him. “I don’t get how you could think yourself to be this cold person when you’re not. I don’t get why you’re trying to convince me you’re so terrible, why you’re making the qualities that make you you out to be so bad. I don’t think I’d love you as much as I do if you were any different. Why won’t you just - just let me.”
The urge to emit a sigh born of frustration grew, and if she was sitting in this room with any other person she would have let the sigh leave her lips. But Herc always received the most of her patience, even if sometimes he didn't really deserve it. Now was one of those times, she realizes, as he tells he's choosing her because she's different. Because she's not like him or any of the other girls he's dated in the past, and maybe that's a good thing as far as he's concerned. His words are nice, comforting and honest, and they stay with her even as he's done speaking because she likes the way they make her feel. Like she's less of a thundering storm and more of a turquoise dream, like he doesn't find her as awful as she always assumes everyone does.
But, then again, that's what the problem is.
He's doing that thing he does, where he turns her weaknesses into strengths, finding something nice to say about every negative thing she can think of. And she can't help but smile that same small sad smile she's been smiling for the past few months because she really doesn't deserve him. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that incessantly worrying about things gives you wrinkles?" she asked with a laugh in response to him admitting he does worry about her, but he's slightly okay with it. Poca listened to him quietly, even if he she wanted to protest at every word that left his mouth. He's listing all of her "redeeming" qualities as if he still doesn't see how she could hate herself this much. And if she hadn't known before that she could never love another the way she loves him, this would have been the moment that it dawned on her. Because how could she ever find someone better than him? Someone who gives her room to breathe. Someone who took note of the growing sadness inside her when Simba left, someone who picked up the pieces the boys before him had broke and handled them with care. Someone who held her hand when she sobbed in a hospital bed because she thought she'd never see him again. And who listened to her when she swore she'd make a change, and supported her when she tried to. And still stuck around when it failed a few months later because she fell back into poor habits. Simply put, there could never be anyone who loved her the way he did. And in turn, she could never love anyone but him.
That simple confirmation should have been enough to make her realize he was right - she should just let him love her. Because Lord knows no one else ever could the way he does. But sadly enough it's not.
"I think, you're not looking at the bigger picture here." she responds quietly, taking his hand in hers so she could distract herself by drawing invisible shapes on his skin. "I'm, quite literally, the worst thing for you. People like me we...we're like literal sinking ships disguised as something pretty and nice. We destroy ourselves first and then we bring everyone else down with us. We hurt people - I've hurt people." she clarified, eyebrows raising as she tried to reason with him on this. "And this" she used her free hand to gesture between the space between them "only ends one of two ways; either I hurt you or you leave because you can't take it anymore. And I know exactly what the former looks like, and I'm so scared of what the latter feels like."
It was then that she realized the root of all her problems was fear; fear of them losing each other in some way. Because it's not like people haven't left her behind before, but she'd never be able to get by if Herc ever left. If she thought wading through her own pain in an attempt to find some form of genuine light was hard enough now, it'd be impossible to get through it without him.
You romanticize bridges and speeding out of control in your car because you romanticized someone at some point and they broke you. Now you’re confused when you see someone you love because it feels like falling off something. Now you’re afraid.
The Whiskey Writer (via the-whiskey-writer)
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
Nibbling on his bottom lip nervously, Herc only found minimal comfort when Poca said she’d experienced the distinct feeling he had at the moment. But that wasn’t the only emotion he happened to be feeling right now. He was nervous sure. But he was also so very afraid. He feared possible rejection from her. Even though, knowing Poca, if she were to reject him, it would be in the nicest possible way. He feared that his confession, his feelings would alter the dynamic of their relationship forever in the worst way. He feared that after this he couldn’t come over to her place to just lie in her bed and watch television anymore. His fear was so consuming it felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest, it was beating so hard. He felt like he was going to throw up, and the more he deeply breathed and gathered his words, the more he felt he was going to be sick.
Swallowing, Hercules closed his eyes, forcing himself to stop being so irrational. Sitting up properly, he removed himself from Poca, moving so he could stare at her directly in the eyes when he said what he had to say. And if he felt sick before, it only increased tenfold. “I’ve been trying really hard.” He started, “…to pinpoint when it started. But I guess it was when Nala and I failed.” Hercules figured this was a good point to start explaining. “I realized, that maybe I was looking too far for what I needed, you know? Maybe I was looking too hard. Nakoma, Sil, Nala, they all didn’t work. I figured then that maybe I already had someone really special in my life. And it was little things that started making me realize it. Someone who arranged special flowers to tell me that she’d stay in my life forever,” he remembered with a small grin. “Someone who always remembers to buy Achilles treats. Someone who brought me to her home, and shared something so special about her culture with me…just me. And I was just…so stupid that I didn’t see it sooner. I-I never was the smartest, you know that.” He laughed nervously, raking a hand through his hair. “And the gods knew that too. And they made sure to place her right in my eyesight so I’d find her and I didn’t at first, but then I did. But I was a little late.” He said with a sad smile, his gaze trained on his hands. “So I settled with being her friend still, because who was I to stop her from being happy even though it wasn’t with me, right? Sacrifice…and whatnot.” He trailed off, knowing he was beginning to babble. “But just…it kept getting worse with time.” His feelings for her, he meant.
"I guess, what I’m trying to say is, I’m-I’ve been…in love with you…Poca. An-and I know it’s probably too late, I mean Simba might come back or I know you’re really into that Kovu guy who you like hiking with and stuff, and you probably don’t even feel the same way, but I just needed….to tell you. For me. So I could stop carrying it.” Finally exhaling deeply, Hercules looked at her for real this time, waiting for her to say something - anything.
She blinked. There was so much to say, too many emotions to pin point and too many thoughts to express. But, for once in her life, she just couldn't...find the words. Her tongue dried like a river long abused and overused, words going missing in her throat as if they'd never been there before. It was funny because she couldn't recall a time where this had happened to her before, aside from when she'd brought Herc to her mom's old flower shop and it had taken her almost an hour to explain to him why they were there. But that seemed so far away, and the solution then had been a courage she didn't know she possessed. So what was the solution now? A courage she still didn't possess. Perhaps, a mind that functioned normally and produced interesting things to say when it was necessary. Her thoughts were so out of reach, and he was looking at her, he was waiting for her. Apparently, he'd always been waiting for her and she hated herself because she never knew.
So she focused, using her own desperation to ease his mind and anxiousness to slice through the steel walls that kept coherent thoughts from formulating. "I..." she began, eyes falling to her hands as she thought. Where to start? "If Simba came back, it wouldn't matter to me." she answered quietly, but she meant every word, and she looked at him seriously to make sure he understood that. This was where she chose to begin, with the topic of other men in her life. Instead of addressing his feelings she finds the starting mark here. This was the girl he chose to save his love for. "And, I don't like Kovu in that way." She lifted her head now, looking him right in the eye as she settled on her next words. "And you should never feel like you can't express your feelings to me, or anyone, out of the fear that they won't feel the same or because you think you're too late. Because that's ridiculous Herc. You're the most genuine, strong willed, kind hearted person on this planet. You're gentle and comforting and I'm...I'm so convinced that there's a small angel like...living in your heart or something because there's no way that you're this good of a person." When she laughs, it sounds pained and almost bitter for reason she can't yet pinpoint. Perhaps because the next few words are going to destroy her. "I'd leave any life I'm living to run to you and give us a chance, And I honestly would...I should," she nodded, biting down on her lip as she willed herself to look away from. "because I...I love you too, I think I might always have? Or at least, I've always known we were meant for each other, one way or another? And I just-"
She closed her eyes, then. Once again trying to find the words to properly express everything swimming in her head. Her thoughts resembled a forest, thick with crumbling branches and yellowing leaves, and suddenly it was her task to find the leaves that still clung to their natural green state, the words that made the most sense. The words that hurt the least.
"I just, don't get it. I guess? Why would someone like you choose...me?"
Her confession hung there in the air, like a heavy cloud prepared to rain on them in seconds. In fact, she willed it to rain in this moment. Maybe it'd snap him out of whatever spell she unknowingly put on him because she doesn't deserve him. Maybe he'd wake up, mind wet with newfound understanding, because now he sees it too. She loves him too, so much that it made her chest weak from how hard her heart was thudding, but she's not worthy of his love that strangely enough wraps around her slim shoulders like warm summer air.
"Nala was so...pretty, and so fucking smart and nice and yeah she was boring as shit at times, but she was a good person. And Silvermist was so nice and bubbly and she bakes cookies for no reason and Nakoma's smart and reasonable and she has a purpose, you know? And I'm not any of those things except for pretty. I'm just pretty. Pretty and wild, like some kind of storm that's going to destroy everything in it's path. And I never make any sense and I don't think about anything ever, and I could die at any given moment because I'll literally jump off a fucking cliff right now if I thought it'd be fun, and you'd just spend your life taking care of me. You do it now. And isn't that just so...exhausting?" She looked at him then, eyes searching for an answer before she sighed and continued. "And I don't want you with any of them, no matter how hard I pushed for you to ask them out or whatever. I was always secretly hoping it'd fail because I'm so selfish and you see this girl with warm eyes and amber in her heart, but I'm so cold Herc...like really, I'm the worst person ever. I'm loud and I'm annoying and I'm stupid and I don't care about anyone enough to stop myself from doing dumb things that make people worry. And why in God's name would you ever want that for yourself?"
Somewhere in her throat a sob was fighting to break free, because her mind was telling her this was dumb. Just shut up and kiss him. It screamed the words so much that they bounced around the walls of her mind, filling space and shutting everything else out. But she couldn't be that selfish again. Even if looking at him and knowing that he loved her made her body shake because she'd always wanted him so bad that she simply couldn't take it. That's why she did the things she did; make him flower arrangements that expressed the words she never could, bring him home and immerse him in her life and culture, share things she held so sacred to her with him and only him. Because there was no one else that deserved her world in that way, no one else who she wanted to give it to. But the truth was she didn't deserve his world.
"Y-you can do so much better. Don't you know that?"
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
"Well you did," Hercules pouted, crossing his arms over his chest as he narrowed his eyes at her. But in the end he was joking, only meaning to make her feel bad. He knew she was kidding, and that was something he appreciated about Poca, she was patient with him when he needed her to be, and understanding when she didn’t have to. "The most important of promises?" He questioned with a knowing smile. "But yes, pinky promise." Hooking his pinky around hers, he smiled again with a slight laugh. They were well past the age to be making pinky promises to one another, but leave it to Poca to do whatever she could to bring out the child in him. Her influence on him was astounding, he thought. "Yes," he exclaimed defensively. "Look, saving animals was a very important thing to me as a child." He explained, with a roll of his eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah, when are you gonna stop calling me cute. It’s the most emasculating thing, you know."
Gluing his attention to the screen, his green orbs took in the fighting robots. If anything it was the complex graphics that kept Hercules’ attention. The robots were so intricate in design, and when they fought it was so fascinating to watch as they clanged and beeped and slashed at each other. He probably didn’t realize his mouth was open like a fish, but that was okay. “Wait - why are you laughing? That’s not funny….” Herc shook his head, his eyes widening as he looked at Poca, she was obviously a crazy person. But as things cleared up for him, he couldn’t help but laugh. “Really?” He asked, finding it highly unnecessary that she wanted to feed him when he had two perfectly working hands and ten perfectly functional fingers. Sighing, his eyes rolled up, following the gumball she held above his head. Reluctantly, Hercules opened his mouth, allowing her to drop the gumball in.
Feeling her weight on his shoulder then, Hercules looked down, seeing her head of dark hair. Smiling, he moved slightly releasing his arm so he could sling it around her shoulders - for more comfortability, you see. The rest of her words kind of went lost along his ears as he became consumed with his thoughts once more. How much longer, how many more times could he lie in her bed with her like this, without saying what was really sitting at the back of his tongue, what was at the forefront of his mind. How long could he leave the platonic to be just that…platonic, when their actions screamed “more than friends” in blaring letters?
"Poca," he said, getting her attention softly as he garnered his courage. "You ever um…wanna tell someone something, but…" His tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry mouth. "..you’re scared of how they’ll react or if it’ll change how they look at you?"
"I sowwy," Poca frowned, widening her eyes innocently as Herc pouted. "Forgive me?" she asked, in that same adorably small voice that usually resulted in her getting her way. "The only promises worth keeping." she nodded seriously. She'd never understand why their relationship was like this; how someone so mature and sensible could stand to be around someone who only watched cartoons and gained excitement from small things. But as Herc hooked his pinky with hers she couldn't find it in her to question the sense, or lack thereof, in their friendship. She was merely happy he was here and choosing to stay. "Hey, I'm not judging. You're talking to the girl whose major centers around helping animals, so you're good." Poca rolled her eyes as Herc complained about her "emasculating him". It was something she heard often, not just from him but from every man in her life. It was also a request she always ignored, especially when Herc was concerned. "Never." she shrugged in response.
Poca watched the movie in silence, doing her best to pay attention to all that was going on. There were robots, some were mean, others were nice, and they fought. That's really all she was gathering, but she was almost sure that this was all there was to the film. That and the fact that Megan Fox was unrealistically attractive. So it was safe to say that when she stole a glance at Herc through the corner of her eye, she didn't expect to find him so wrapped up in the movie. His mouth hung open slightly, and his green eyes never left the screen. She could have, probably should have to, pointed out how funny he looked to her right now but decided against it. She was just happy they were doing something he clearly held an interest in. "Yes, really." Poca wasn't surprised that Herc protested, it was in his nature, and honestly she had been prepared for it. But he knew her well enough by now to know that no amount of incredulous looks or sighs would stop her from doing things like this. He only confirmed this when he inevitably gave in, opening his mouth and letting her drop the gumball in. "See, it was more fun that way...for me at least." she shrugged casually before he could make some remark about how that was unnecessary.
They remained like that, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her comfortably as the movie continued. It only reaffirmed that there was something vaguely different about their friendship, a level of extreme comfort and sense of belonging that wasn't present in her other friendships. But when Herc spoke again, his question hitting her ears with a slight edge of importance in his tone, she wondered if maybe something was wrong. Naturally she wanted to crack a joke about the serious wording of his question, say that she'd always known he'd once murdered someone or something to that effect because what else could have him so nervous? "Mhm," she nodded seriously, even though she herself had only experienced the feeling a few times in her life. "what's on your mind?"
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
"I still think you’re wrong," was his soft reply. "Going out of your way is just something you do for those you…" Hercules paused, knowing once the word left his lips, he’d never be able to take it back. "Nevermind. You’ll keep arguing me anyways," he shook his head with a light laugh.
"Woooow." Herc dropped his mouth open at what she was implying. "Don’t you try and guilt trip me like that. That’s no fair." Poca knew that when the moment arose, she would be the first person she’d be brining home to meet his parents. Much like her father, they’ve heard so much about her over the years and often said they wanted to meet his best friend as well - his mother more excited than his father, but that was only because of her strengthened desire to match make them. It was harder to hide his crush on Poca from her than he thought. But in recent times, what with finding out about his birth parents and Aphrodite coming into his life, he hasn’t seen a good opportunity to introduce Poca to his home life, when it was in such a rocky state. Even he was still adjusting to it. "You know I’ll take you one day soon." He promised her…again. "Nope," Herc said, his chin up proudly. "I wanted everyone to know that it was me doing good. While no one was doing anything, I was. So no, I didn’t want to hide my name.” He crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. “OH!”He exclaimed when realization set in, and she explained herself. “I got you. And you can definitely be Supergirl. You do have the cape.”
Finally setting on Transformers, Hercules knew he was safe. It was a movie he liked, and he knew the characters and the story well enough from previously watching it. “Happy? I picked something.” He nudged her with the remote before gesturing with it towards the television. Herc knew Poca only meant well when she resorted to forcing him into making decisions. She wanted to show him that she was fair, and that while he usually lets her get her way, he could get his sometimes too, and he appreciated her for it. Herc’s head whipped to hers, brows furrowed, and eyes suspicious. Eye? She was offering him an eye? Now Herc didn’t know a lot of American mannerisms and sayings, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t an actual thing. So he stared at her, hoping she’d clarify. “Oh. Um, yeah, sure.” He let out a shaky laugh in his relief.
"Yeah yeah yeah, I guess that’s not a lie. You were always the fun one. And I’m the sensible one. I’m okay with my role." He pouted slightly, watching the television, refusing to look at her. "Goldie would never."
Poca looked at him, eyebrows lifted expectantly as she waited for Herc to finish his sentence. Strangely enough he never did, his thoughts never vocalized to her in favor of giving up on their little argument. Naturally she found herself ready to tell him to finish his earlier sentiment, but she knew he didn't have to. Context, and common sense, told her that he was only going to say that you go out of your way for people you care about. It was an argument she'd never win because the same logic applied to her own actions sometimes, and she'd rather drop the subject than lose this fight. She was always kind of selfish in that way.
"Aw, I wasn't tryna' guilt trip you." Poca laughed, waving her hand at Herc dismissively. "I was kidding, I know I'll meet 'em some day." She kept her tone light and optimistic, to further prove that she meant her words. She knew at some point she'd finally meet the Katsaros' family, and she understood completely that this was a situation that was technically out of Herc's capable hands. There was never any time for the trip out to Greece, and even now it seemed like there would be a slightly longer wait considering...well, everything that was going on with Herc's life. And that was fine. She'd wait until the time was right, it wasn't like he'd be able to get rid of her before she could meet his parents. Poca looked back to Herc with a smile. "Pinky promise?" she asked, holding her pinky out to him. "Oh, right. Make everyone else feel bad for not saving the kitties, huh?" Poca giggled, shaking her head at him. "That's still mad cute though."
Transformers was apparently on, and was also comically enough Herc's choice of program. It was comical because Poca had only seen half of the movie and that was only because she once had a crush on Shia LaBeouf. Halfway through her attention had been called to someone else, someone slightly more real than the actor on the screen and since that one time she ran off with some random boy she had never bothered to watch the movie again. Maybe this time would fare better for her, there were less distractions this time. "Very happy." she grinned proudly. Poca couldn't help but laugh when Herc confirmed what she already knew would be true; he stared at her in that curious way he always did when he couldn't make sense of whatever had just come out of her mouth. Realization hit him and he laughed, she did too because she could only imagine what he'd been thinking earlier. Plucking one of the ice cream bar's blue gumballs out she held it between her index and middle finger, holding it over Herc's head. "Open." she ordered, not at all caring about whatever argument he'd raise against the idea of her feeding him the piece of candy like they were one of those obnoxious couples that shared food in public.
"Oh hush, I think you're plenty fun." Poca smiled, resting her head on Herc's shoulder casually. "Besides, it pays to be sensible, then you don't end up at a party listening to Kid Rock with a bunch of drunk white boys and getting weird tattoos. So you automatically win."
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
"I don’t think you get it, Poca." Hercules shook his head seriously as she tried to convince him that his actions were unnecessary. "I go out of my way because…I…I like to. It doesn’t feel like I’m going out of my way, really.” Biting his bottom lip to stop himself from saying anything else, he shrugged. He wasn’t sure if what he was saying was making much sense, but he allowed the words to leave his lips anyways. But just hearing yet another confirmation that his presence alone was enough to her was enough to make his heart thud in his chest.
"I’m sure she has tons of pictures left that she’d be thrilled to show you," rolling his eyes, Hercules thought of his mother (his aunt, his mother-aunt, he still was unsure in that whole situation). She always meant well, but she never ceased to wanna embarrass him in some way shape or form when he’d bring over company. And if he brought Poca to ever meet her, he knew the story would be exactly the same. She’d have the baby pictures and childhood stories on deck. Hercules looked over at Poca, finding himself smiling as she cutely snuggled into her cape. "Cats or whatever," he quickly muttered, shaking his head as if it wasn’t important, hopefully she wouldn’t dwell on it. "No superhero name. No secret weapons. I was just Hercules," he laughed, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Um, who is Kara Zor-El?" He found himself asking. "But I mean, sure you can be my Kara…?" He was unsure what it all meant, but what Hercules did know was that Poca could ask to be his anything, he’d virtually say yes regardless. Telling her no was always going to be his biggest downfall.
"Oh I don’t like this." Hercules whined, taking hold of the remote. There was so much pressure in that alone. He would have to pick what to watch, what if she didn’t like it. Deciding to play it safe, Herc placed the remote back down. "I don’t mind. I’ll watch whatever you wanna w-" stopping himself, Hercules decided not to argue her on this because then she’d only push him to pick something for them to watch. So he began flipping channels.
"It’s not betrayal. Is it, Goldie? She’s just jealous." He spoke to the bunny on his chest, who only responded with a wiggle of her nose. "Achilles does love you more, even after I was the one who saved him. Ungrateful.” He rolled his eyes. Gasping, he covered Goldie’s large ears from Poca’s words, aiding in her dramatics with a little of his own. “She is right here. You don’t say that. That’s so mean.”
Poca opened her mouth to counter but the words never left her mouth, deciding quickly that arguing about this would only result in Herc insisting it wasn't a big deal. "Well, if you don't mind doing it...just know you don't have to." She added quickly for safe measure.
"Awww," Poca cooed at the mention of his mother, that excitement bubbling up inside her once more. She'd always wanted to meet Hercules' parents and the more he spoke of them, even if it was minor things, the desire to know them only grew. "that's so cute. If I'm ever important enough to meet her I'd love to see these pictures." she said teasingly. Poca knew the main reason she hadn't met his parents yet was because there was never any occasion for him to take her to Greece, but that still wouldn't stop her from feigning slight irritation with him for it. Poca had distinctly heard him say he used to save cats, but the way he shook his head afterwards made her think that perhaps he didn't want her to. So she looked down at her toes, biting down on her ice cream bar in an attempt to keep whatever witty comments she had to make about his superhero activities from slipping out. It proved to be a lot more difficult than she originally thought, there were so many jokes she could have made. "Pfft, you didn't have a superhero name? Then everybody would know your real identity!" Poca gasped, jaw dropping and eyes filled with disbelief as if she couldn't believe that Herc had broken the #1 rule of being a superhero. She laughed with him though, partially because she could just imagine a younger Herc with a cape running around saving cats from trees and things of that nature. "That's really adorable though." she mumbled before looking back up at him. "Oh...right, sorry." Poca giggled, smiling weakly at him in an attempt to convey that she hadn't meant to confuse him with talk of superheroes he didn't know. "Uh, it was the original Supergirl, ya' know Superman's cousin. She was his secret weapon before she went out on her own...and then she died...but whatever."
"Oh well." Poca shrugged, a serious edge in her tone as she looked at Herc, implying then that he didn't really have a choice in the matter. "We always watch what I wanna' watch." she explained. Poca had always known that Herc was someone that would go along with just about anything she wanted, and that was fine in most cases, but she would have always preferred hearing about what Herc wanted to do. Even if it was over something minor like what to watch on TV, she was going to make sure he made his wants and opinions known. Her lips pulled up into a smug grin as Herc picked the remote back up and eventually started flipping through channels. She didn't even have to argue with him on it, this was a good sign. "Do ya want an eye?" she asked, changing the subject quickly so he wouldn't have an opportunity to change his mind. "The gum eyes..." she added after a moment of silence. It didn't take her long to realize that her original statement might have sounded a little weird out of context.
Pocahontas smiled at Herc and Goldie. She'd be a liar if she said she didn't notice the similarities between him and her pet, so it was no surprise that Goldie would always prefer to be around Herc than her. "He's not ungrateful, he loves you very berry much. I'm just more fun." she laughed, pausing to think for a moment before adding, "no offense." Poca shook her head as Herc covered Goldie's ears, as if her words could actually hurt the bunny. "Well she was mean to me first so..." she shrugged. "Besides, she doesn't care, clearly."
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
With her happy squeal, Hercules knew he did a good job with the ice cream, mentally patting himself on the back for it. Once again, he’d succeeded in making her smile. And this time, he was awarded with a kiss on his cheek, to which he brought up his fingers to gently touch where her lips had been. “I got out of class, and I was taking the boardwalk way, the man was still there so I chanced asking him if he had any left,” Hercules managed to explain to her. “And I did have to, it was nothing, really,” he waved her away, shrugging afterwards. “I just wanted to make you smile. That’s all,” he added with a grin of his own. “Plus, being nice to you is my job.”
"Oh, no one’s judging the cape," he protested, his hands up in surrender, "I just think it doesn’t hold a candle to the one mama got me when I was seven. And I actually saved things in it. ” He actually saved stray dogs and cats he found in alleys by his home and insist they live in his house much to his parents’ chagrin, but Poca didn’t know all that.
As she told him the name of the show, Hercules did that thing he usually did when he didn’t understand her, and blinked pointedly and repeatedly at her. Poca always had a thing of saying the names of her shows in an obvious manner, as if everyone knew. But he just…never seemed to know. “Sounds…interesting?” Downfalls of being so foreign, he barely could keep up with her when it came to things like television. But she told him that he would love it, so he nodded, trusting her judgement as usual, she obviously knew better than he did.
She fell into the bed beside him, and Hercules thought it was all so domestic. Just the two of them (and Goldie, of course) watching television together in their own little bubble where at the present time, nothing else really mattered much. And he knew he could be perfectly content if things were just like this. Goldie then took that moment to make a few cutely failed attempts to hop onto his legs. When she made it she walked up to his chest, deciding to lay there. “I’m still convinced she likes me better.”
Poca listened to Hercules' explanation, the small smile never leaving her features as he spoke. She'd always listened to every thing Herc had to say with an inexplicable level of rapt and interest, as if him explaining small things about his day to her were so vital and pertinent. That's because they were, to her at least. He said so little on most occasions, selflessly allowing her to blab on about the most ridiculous and irrelevant of things, so his words were always so precious to her and she always had to make sure he knew that. "You never have to go out of your way to make me smile, Herc." Poca said as she fiddled with opening the wrapper on the ice cream bar. "You always make me smile, you know that. Ice cream or not, I would have just been happy you dropped by" she finished matter of factly as she finally got the wrapper open. "It's not your job," she began to argue, but realized Herc would only insist that it was his job to do nice things for her, so she said nothing else.
"Psh, well I never saw this cape your mom got you, so mine wins by default." she laughed, snuggling deeper into the warmth of her blanket/makeshift cape. "Oh?" she snickered, looking at him curiously at the mention of him having "saved things". "What'd you save?" As she shifted on the bed in an attempt to get comfortable her eyes lit up as a thought crossed her mind. "Did you have a superhero name? Oooh, did you have a secret weapon? Like your own personal Kara-Zor-El?" She narrowed her eyes slightly as she began to suck on Bug's right ear, deep in thought as her mind filled with random thoughts about DC Universe superheroes. "Ooh, I can be your Kara! How wicked would that be?"
Poca laughed, accustomed to Herc's lack of knowledge regarding American cartoons. She knew half of the time he probably had no idea what she was gushing about, but it always dawned on her too late, and she was stuck feeling slightly bad for not doing a better job at explaining these things to him. "It is." she nodded once more to reassure him. "But we don't have to watch it if you don't want to." And just like that an idea came to her. "Let's watch something you wanna' watch!" Poca held the remote out to him with an encouraging smile.
It was always so comfortable between them. Small, seemingly irrelevant things like always felt so natural; almost as if they were meant for the things like this. Meant for each other too, in some weird way that her mind hadn't fully processed. Like fate took special care in making sure they had found each other, and that was fine with her. Poca kept her eyes on the TV, only ever looking away when Herc spoke again. Goldie laid on his chest, orange fur rising and falling as she breathed, eyes filled with content in this moment. Half of her couldn't even blame Goldie for choosing Herc right now. "I feel so betrayed." Poca laughed, making a show of looking away from Goldie as if she was personally hurt by her snub. "It's fine though, that's why Achilles likes me more. Aaaaand I like him more too, so it's cool. I'm not like, hurt or nothing." she shook her head and pretended to sniffle. Always so dramatic; it's just how she worked.
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
Herc’s eyes shut immediately as she squealed his name.
He doesn’t think he will ever get used to being greeted in such a way all the time. Hercules didn’t think there was anyone who was ever this excited to see him than Poca - except his mother. Pocahontas was probably without a doubt the loudest individual he’s had the pleasure of meeting. He’s seen example of this so many times as he’d always be able to pin point her location in the Elias stadium whenever he did anything remotely good on the football field. Forget it if he made an actual goal.
As her excitement and enthusiasm grew, so did her volume, it was inevitable. How Poca managed to hit such octaves was unnatural, he thought. But that didn’t stop him from beaming at her regardless. A laugh trickled from his lips as he shook his head. “You are scaring her,” his sensible side warned, referring to the bunny that occupied her arms. “Give her to me.” Hercules placed Goldie in his arms, stroking the soft fur of her ears. He’d be a liar if he said he didn’t grow attached to the cute little thing. “It’s okay Goldie, Herc’s here,” he cooed, shooting Poca a playful glare, “Yeah. Your mama doesn’t know you’re scared - but I know.”
"I was in the neighborhood," was his simple explanation to her question, shrugging his broad shoulders for good measure as he slid past her and into her apartment. I missed you, threatened to make it’s way past his lips too, but he willed it back down. He had to have at least some control, he just saw her.
Navigating around her place was easy, like a second or third home, as he reached her bedroom. That was another thing about Poca - he was so at ease, so comfortable in her space, even when he had visited her real home in Virginia, he never once felt like the outsider he knew he was. The moment he saw the colorful animated characters flit across her screen, it jogged his memory. “Oh! I got you something.” Resting Goldie softly on her bed, he slung his backpack from his shoulder, pulling her ice cream from it and holding it out to her. “Hope it didn’t melt too much. I came as fast as I could.”
"Cute cape," he teased when he finally got a good look at her, fingering the plush blanket she wore around her shoulders. Laughing, he plopped himself onto her bed, making himself comfortable.
"So what are we watching here?"
There was always this fear, an un-communicated one of course, that bubbled up in the deepest part of her gut. It came back to the forefront of her attention when Herc closed his eyes at her squealing, and though she knew somewhere in the back of her mind that it wasn't that big of a deal she still asked herself the question anyway. Could he possibly find how loud she was to be...well...annoying, disconcerting or perhaps even insufferable? It was was a stupid question, but apparently the dumbest questions were the ones that made her rot inside.
Poca couldn't even count how many times she asked herself if she was a problem for him. Like some type of unsolvable burden he can't recall how he got stuck with but was always far too kind to drop off on someone else's shoulders. At times, it was all that she wondered about when the fact that they were so drastically different in nature was brought to her attention. Where she was all thunderous laughter and lightning fast impulses, he was a taciturn exterior with an ability to think of consequences before acting. Normally things like this never concerned her, an ability to be so uncaring when it comes to what others thought about her kept her from worrying about if she was annoying or not. But with Herc...with Herc it was always different.
But he smiled at her anyways and she forgot all about her previous concerns, smiling back up at him. "What?" Poca asked dubiously, looking down at Goldie. "No I'm not, she's totally used to me." she said, pressing her lips to the bunny's head before eventually complying with Herc's request and carefully leaving the bunny in his care. Poca rolled her eyes in mock annoyance as Herc spoke to Goldie, she even added a shake of her head to further play up her pseudo irritation with him.
"Oh, cool." Poca responded quietly as Herc slid past her, after locking the door once he was inside she followed him back into her room. She made an effort to plop back onto her bed but stopped abruptly when Herc spoke again. "You didn't have to..." she trailed off, her unfinished words melting into a small laugh as she watched Herc look through his bag. When he presented the small orange wrapper with Bugs Bunny's face on it she, unnecessarily, squealed again. "Bugsy!" she giggled, gently taking it from his hands before leaning down to kiss his cheek in her rush of excitement. "Thaaaaank you," Poca sang. "You're too nice to me, I swear." She recalls expressing to Herc once that Blue Bunny's cartoon ice cream bars were quite possibly her favorite things to eat as a child. And while anyone else would have judged her for making a point to buy one each time she saw the ice cream truck, he never said a word. "Aw, it doesn't matter if it's half melted or whatever...I'ma still eat it." she laughed, adding a shrug to her declaration.
"This is my superhero cape, so be nice mister." she stuck her tongue out at him, twirling around so the blanket fluttered out around her before she joined him on her bed.
"Courage the Cowardly Dog." Poca announced, glancing at Herc to see if there was any signs of recognition or understanding on his face. "It's about a dog who gets adopted by this nice old lady who lives in the middle of nowhere, and her husband is mean, and there's all these monsters that try to hurt Muriel and Eustace and Courage has to save 'em. It's super weird, but you'll love it, I promise."
P.S. I Love You | Pocales
It was a Monday night, not that it mattered, really.
You see, Hercules never actually needed a reason to go see Poca. It was just something he did because he felt like it. He’d find his feet taking him in the direction of her apartment on their own accord when he got out of class or when he would stop at the coffee shop, leaving with two drinks instead of one, or times like now when he was standing on line at the boardwalk for the ice cream truck to get her an ice cream shaped like Bugs Bunny - just because she liked them.
Carving a portion of his day out for her was never once an inconvenience, or a burden, or something of a chore and he liked to think that the moment he came to such a realization was when he came to an even bigger, more important realization.
He was in love with her.
He was in love with the idea of being in her company always. He was in love with how happy she always seemed to be, how widely she seemed to smile when he was around. Hercules knew Poca was a genuinely happy person naturally, but something in him liked to believe she was happier when he was there. He allowed himself that one little thought, and held onto it with hope.
His knuckles rapped on the door to her apartment gently, placing his finger over the peep-hole as he waited and refusing to announce his presence so he could surprise her. He heard the padding of her footsteps and her speaking loudly to only the gods know who on the opposite side - it might be Goldie, he assumed. He always reminded her that Goldie couldn’t answer her, not that she cared.
The sounds of quiet laughter melted together with the sound of the colorful cartoon on Poca's TV screen. Every night was spent doing the exact same thing, watching re-runs of all of Pocahontas' favorite childhood cartoons and eating fattening snacks that were in no way good for her. And every night she'd laugh at Daffy's antics, or Top Cat's wit, or Hong Kong Phooey's clumsiness as if she were seeing it all happen for the first time. She knew to some it might seem ridiculous that someone of her age would rather watch cartoons than shows geared toward her age group, but she couldn't find it in her to care.
Besides, anyone who thought they were too smart or too old to be watching cartoons was lame. It's a scientifically proven fact and Poca would stick by it. So there she sat, in her room, wrapped in her childhood blanket covered in small pictures of fluffy sheep watching Courage the Cowardly Dog with a level of enthusiasm that simply could not be countered.
Goldie laid next to her, lazily staring at the screen as she allowed her owner to absent mindedly pet her. Poca had learned early on in her ownership of the rabbit that Goldie was by far the most serene animal she had ever come across, and so long as she was being fed and paid attention to she was no hassle at all. So when she lifted her head off of Poca's purple comforter and moved towards the edge of the bed, it was safe to say Poca was mildly confused. That is, until she heard the faint sound of knocking once she turned the TV's volume down. Poca apparently wasn't moving fast enough for Goldie though because before she could even make a move to get up, the rabbit was already attempting to ease it's way down from the height of the bed to the floor.
"Goldie, stop." Poca scolded, throwing her small blanket around her shoulders like a makeshift cape as she got up. "You're gonna' fall and die."
Goldie didn't listen though, she hardly ever did, and Poca chalked it up to a blatant disrespect for her owner but that was a different story for a different time. In an instant the bunny was on the floor, paws touching the carpet with a slight thud before Poca scooped her up into her arms.
"Okay...so you didn't die." she rolled her eyes, as if feeling the need to provide an explanation to her pet. This always happened; the carrying of conversations with animals as if they understood her, because Poca always liked to believe that they could. Animals always were far more intelligent and capable than humans...in some scientists' eyes. "But you still could have hurt yourself you silly rabbit." she cooed, carrying Goldie with her on her way to the door.
"State your name and your business, please." Poca called out to whoever was on the opposite side of the wooden door, only to be met with silence. "Or not..." she mumbled, moving closer to the door to look through the peephole. Whoever was at the door was actively blocking her view, and while this wouldn't sit right with most people Poca went ahead and opened the door anyway. What was the worst that could happen...right?
"Heeeeeeerc!" she squealed, brown eyes landing on the familiar features of her best friend. With the way she bounced up and down on her toes as she said his name you'd think they hadn't seen each other in years, but Poca always greeted him with such enthusiasm. Partly because there was this thing that happened whenever he was around, a peculiar thing, almost as if her heart felt a little lighter...just a little less burdened when in his presence. She chalked it up to him being her best friend and hello who wouldn't be so blissfully happy around Herc? He's....Herc. But that was never a real explanation, yet alone a good one. So she ignores the fact that she's probably got that goofy smile on her face again, the big annoyingly bright one that he seems to prefer, and settles on focusing on something else instead. "What are you doing here?" she asks, stepping to the side to let him in.
Baby is kicking up a storm.
Thank you so much! Oh and don’t worry about it! I’m so used to it at this point. I just have this feeling he doesn’t like bed times so much. Every time mommy is ready to pass out, he gets louder than ever. My boyfriend tries to tell me it’s just him saying goodnight, but I think I might have a rebel on my hands.
No way, my tiny hands would always be dropping that thing. It’s a…5? I think. A 5S? Something like that. But it’s nice to meet you, Poca! I’m Maddie, as I kind of already introduced? But it feels more polite saying it again.
You're welcome! Oh, you're having a boy? Did you pick a name already? Haha, sounds like your unborn child and I would get along just fine then. Bed times are for the weak, I swear it. But I guess, that's not cool when he's keeping you up...so sorry. Aww, that's mad cute though, and for future reference, rebellious children are the best types of children. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Nope.
Ah, okay, not too shabby for your first smart phone. Oh God....please ignore the fact that I just said shabby. It's nice to meet you too Maddie! OH and hi Maddie's unborn son, since you're clearly up too. How's life been treating ya, Maddie?
Baby is kicking up a storm.
Which means I’m wide awake. But I thought I’d take the time to make a super awesome announcement!
I, Madellaine Whatevermylastnameis, finally have a fully working, cool and pretty smart phone! Yaaay!
Given the context I'm gonna' go ahead and assume you're pregnant, so CONGRATULATIONS! I don't know what to tell you about the whole baby kicking thing, I don't like have any experience with that, but I guess that means it's healthy...right?
And yaaaaay for smartphones. Is it the new huge for no reason iPhone? Oh, I'm Poca by the way.
You have a fantastic smile. -Xoxo
Oh, I know, I'm just an all around fantastic person duh. Nah, I'm messing with ya, thanks though. That was sweet of you, random ass anon.
Online classes were definitely created for people like me.
Yeah, Scamp’s been my nickname for as long as I can remember. Eventually, I just started introducing myself as it since I’d tell them anyways. Well no…my middle name is actually a totally boring, classic white guy middle name, so I don’t think you’ll be impressed. Eh, bad habit, shmad habit. Who cares? As long as shit gets done in the end, right? This is true, everyone can appreciate free anything, I’m guessing.
Aw, what's the story behind it, if you don't mind me being all up in your business. Actuaaally, I'd be impressed with a seemingly common name, everyone's always got some weird and creative name around here. But I'm pretty sure it's not boring, and if it is then your nickname makes up for it. Eh, the road to self actualization can only be traveled if you rid yourself of bad habits. Or at least that's what my Dad says...so I'ma say old people care?
