[madiisonclaark-blog]

xottosurvivorx:

Jake nodded, agreeing with her. It might be the first time they were agreeing on something, after all that happened at the ranch. “Even if it’s just for a few days … I just don’t want to think about it.” He was grieving his father, still trying to figure out why he would kill himself. And dealing with the guilt he felt, about failing the people at the ranch, failing to achieve peace. “Yes, of course. I don’t know where Nick is staying, but I can take you to Alicia, I know where her apartment is.”

on top of their brand new home and everything going on around them, there was the past that they needed to SORT OUT too. most of madison didn’t want to approach any of that though. she would carry what truly happened to jeremiah to her GRAVE. “ then we won’t. we’ll just...we’ll just relax for a bit. get used to this life. ” she was itching to see her CHILDREN. she needed to make sure that they were okay. he had said they were, of course, but she needed to see them with her own EYES. “ that’d be great. thank you, jake. ”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

ooc; 

guys i’m so sorry i’ve been MIA. this last week was just. busy. i’m so sorry. i’ll be here either tonight or tomorrow to reply to things!

[madiisonclaark-blog]

ooc;

hey guys! my long week is done finally so i’m off my hiatus :) i’ll either work on replies tonight or tomorrow! i’ve missed y’all <3 

[madiisonclaark-blog]

ooc;

hey guys! just letting you all know that i’m going on hiatus this week because i have to work 8:30-4:30 all week and though I might try to be active, it’ll probably be pretty difficult because i’ll be pretty tired. i have most of the summer off except for this week just because we’re doing a day camp. not rly looking forward to it but. it’ll be all good :)

[wickcdwitch]

“— so let me get this straight…” carrie took a deep breath, holding the article in her copy of interview magazine she’d found in front of the other persons face “THIS is rob lowe? he’s— old. he’s like my dad’s age.” she shook her head raising an eyebrow at the other person who she could tell was getting confused “and my next question is why does it say july 2017?”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

madison almost laughed; brows raising in slight confusion a moment later. this girl had either been living under a ROCK or...was from a different time. nothing surprised her anymore. “ that is rob lowe. in MY...time, i guess, i’m assuming he was DEAD. although, i feel like he could have also survived. i never thought to check when i was busy surviving. ” her only worry had been her FAMILY. “ because it is, i guess. the last year i remember was 2010. apparently i’ve LOST seven years of my life. ” she would be in her forties now ( if time still worked the same ) and that thought was terrifying. THANKFULLY, she appeared to still be in her late-thirties. 

[antiihvroes]

‘‘New York is a lot different than Toronto..’‘ She wanted a new start with what she had been through recently. She wanted to try and find herself after high school graduation. It was nice in a way that no one knew her. Her hair was finally growing back as well,

[madiisonclaark-blog]

“ new york is a lot different from anywhere i’ve been lately. toronto, hey? pretty cold up there? ” madison was trying her HARDEST to make as many connections within the city as she could. if she could have some sort of knowledge of everyone around them, then MAYBE it would be easier to survive here just as she had survived weeks and weeks within the apocalypse. 

[spccnedeyc-blog]

Control was one thing he’d always struggle with, not being able to handle the anger these rose often inside him. The anger was from so many different things. His past and present. Things that Madison now knew. “I’ll be good.” He blinked a few times at his own words, how childish they sounded reminded him of his childhood. The tantrums and the time he apologised repeatedly after being locked in the basement for about twenty-four hours. Being forgotten by his own parents. Protecting the Clark kids was something he’d done back at the ranch but without Madison around, he knew she’d prefer protection when it came to both. Doing exactly that whether they wanted it or not. A faint smile formed as he nodded, not having felt the way he did from praise since arriving in New York. “Not a crime to make sure. You’re not the only one to promise.” Everyone else in his life quit on him. Even his father, not bothered by what he did, focusing more on his eldest son. “I live in the apartment building your children and my brother do. Your new home now too.”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

i’ll be good. it was times like this and WORDS like this that reminded madison of just how small he was. of how much he had been forced to go through in his life. how little love he had been given. it was no wonder he had turned out the way he had. it had never been HIS fault. his parents were entirely to blame. had he been given some sort of love and proper parenting, perhaps he would have turned out DIFFERENTLY. this was madison’s chance. she could HELP him become better. “ i know you will be. i believe in you. ” it sounded so CHEESY but she knew he needed constant validation that someone was there for him. that someone wouldn’t leave him on the side of the road to ROT like his father had. “ you’ve been such a HELP, troy. even before now. back at the ranch...you did SO MUCH for me and my family. i will never, ever be able to thank you enough. ” he had managed to get her daughter back from walker and his people. despite how badly it had messed things up between the two groups. madison had TRIED to make it better in the end. “ oh, good. so we’ll all be close at least. i wish we could all just...take over an apartment. i hate being too far from my kids. ”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

redpalms:

“ fingers crossed. ” she wonders if it’s SELFISH to place so much hope on nick, wonders if they’re just setting themselves up for DISAPPOINTMENT. but he has been clean for SO LONG now, so that has to mean something, right ? alicia PRAYS it does. “ not yet, but that’s only because i’ve been busy. ” busy exploring new york, trying to learn EVERYTHING she possibly could about it. the more she knows about the place, the more likely she is to RELAX. “ why don’t you come back to the apartment i’m staying in ? there’s food and running water. you can shower and i’ll throw your clothes in the WASHER, then we can eat and figure things out. together. ” 

part of madison KNOWS they’re setting themselves up when it comes to nick. because he’s always let them down and they really SHOULDN’T get so hopeful. but she can’t HELP it. he’s her son. despite everything, she’ll always HOPE for a better outcome. and like clockwork, she’ll be disappointed and let down and left to WORRY. she wouldn’t worry now though. she would focus entirely on alicia and let everything else fall to the wayside. “ together. ” they hadn’t OFTEN been on the same page as of late. but this...this was a good step in the right direction. “ i’d LOVE a shower and some clean clothes. we’d really lucked out in the apocalypse when it came to SHOWERS but...at least now, we know we’ll STAY clean. ” 

[madiisonclaark-blog]

xottosurvivorx:

They didn’t always see eye to eye, they disagreed on a lot of things mostly when it came to the ranch and what to do about Walker. Jake wanted to talk, make a deal and achieve peace through that but Madison and Troy had ruined that when they went after Alicia and killed more of Walker’s men. Jake just wished they had trusted him. “We can do that, yes. Or maybe we can take a break and enjoy the fact that here, we don’t have to worry about the infected or any other threat. This is safe. Not long, a few days. Alicia, Troy and Nick have been here longer than I did.”

madison wanted to disagree with him NOW. if they wanted to get back home, they needed to figure out what was going ON. but she had spent so much time disagreeing with the boy BEFORE that it seemed wrong to even TRY now. she messed far too much up. “ yeah. a break sounds nice. we can figure things out later. ” he was at least right on that. they didn’t need to worry about the dead or walker and his men anymore. they could go back to having a NORMAL life. even if it felt strange. “ could you bring me to them? i want to make sure they’re OKAY. ”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

bwiitched:

    blue eyes flickered up towards the OTHER, as she fiddled with her fingers. “ um, it’s not as bad as it looks, ” modesty said quietly, looking over her bruised knuckles and touching her bloodied lip. “ there were kids at the park and… they … er, i’m FINE now, which is what i’m trying to say. ”

   madison’s brows furrowed; reaching out to gently take the girls hand to study the marks. she had dealt with FAR too many fights between students as a guidance counselor but that had felt like three lifetimes ago. “ this doesn’t LOOK fine. we should get you bandaged up. what HAPPENED exactly? ”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

ooc;

hey guys! sorry i haven’t been around the last couple days. my body is Not Being Nice rn 

[madiisonclaark-blog]

redpalms;

her mother is TRYING & that’s all that matters to alicia. after so many YEARS of madison being DISTANT & UNTOUCHABLE, alicia can’t help but to notice & appreciate her efforts now. “ i know. ” is all she replies with. alicia has ALWAYS been okay, though. she has ALWAYS managed to BURY her emotions & move on with life. YES, she’s tired & wants the world to just STOP for a minute, but it’s not enough to completely drag her down & BREAK her. it never is. attention back on the subject of troy & nick, alicia is quickly OVERWHELMED with a feeling of uneasiness. there’s SOMETHING off about troy, something that she can’t quite place her finger on. something that she isn’t sure she WANTS to place her finger on. — but nick is a full-grown adult now, so they HAVE to let him go; for both his sake & theirs. “ hopefully he’s not STUPID enough to go back to drugs, but i guess only time will tell. ” there’s a bitterness in her voice, the idea of her brother RELAPSING & ruining EVERYTHING that he ( they ) worked so hard on filling her with an undeniable anger. “ some apartment building. i have roommates, but i’ve never actually met them. ” THANKFULLY, “ i’m guessing you don’t know where you’ll be staying yet ? ”

madison picks up on the bitterness laced within her words EASILY and for a moment, she wants to get after her about it. because nick is still nick even in the midst of all the SHIT he’s put them through. but she KNOWS that alicia has every right to feel whatever she WISHES towards him. god knows madison feels it even deeper than she’ll ever ADMIT. she’s given every ounce of her time and ENERGY over the years and she can’t lie about being entirely EXHAUSTED. she hopes he doesn’t fall down that hole again. for entirely selfish reasons. “ yeah. ” her voice is softer for a minute as she allows her mind to take in everything. she wants to sleep for WEEKS. “ time will tell. but HOPEFULLY...hopefully he chooses US. ” it’s a rare thing when he DOES but madison can’t do it anymore. she can’t handle the drugs and the constant WAITING to find out whether or not he’s dead somewhere. but for now, madison forces the thoughts away and lifts a hand to rub at her tired, achy forehead. “ yeah, i...i have no idea yet. i’d rather stick with YOU but...i don’t know if that can happen or not. ” nothing about this place makes sense to her but she HOPES it’ll become clearer as time goes on. “ have you EATEN? i..i don’t think i have any money on me but...we can go sit down somewhere for awhile. figure out...this place a bit more. ”

[thirteenrcasons-deactivated2017]

“Oh, it’s weird. Most definitely weird. I’m not all too sure how being here is actually possible but I’ve come to enjoy and appreciate it. Life here is a whole lot different to back home. In a good way. I do miss Crestmont, my parents especially but too much happened to miss it completely.”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

“ i...guess things ARE different here. in a good way. ” part of madison ached to have the old world back. ached to have the normalcy of it. despite how insane it had all been on it’s own. “ back where i’m from...well, you don’t WANT to know what was happening there. i’m glad things are going well for you. you look...at PEACE. happy. that’s really, really good. ”

[spccnedeyc-blog]

“Guess somebody has to now.” Not that his father ever cared enough for Troy to do so himself, let alone make sure his brother did. He always had been bitter but no matter how bad he was treated, he still loved his father and losing him was ten times harder than losing his mother. Madison was right, he was wrong. Grief was something slowly taking over. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her as he thought about what happened. How she found him, it couldn’t have been easy for her either but he was thankful he was gotten to see for himself. How he could leave his two kids behind like that without any warning signs was hard to grasp. It wasn’t until he heard himself being compared to Jake in a completely different way that he settled his gaze on Madison. He’d never once heard someone say not being Jake was a good thing before. “You still want me to be able to control myself, don’t you? I can do it. I can try. I’m willing to try. If it means feeling like I belong, finding myself a purpose, I’ll try. The only purpose I have right now is your son. I promised your daughter I’d keep him clean. Protect him. Protect both of them. But I also did that part for you. You weren’t around and I know how much they both mean to you.” Maybe it was the old world that revealed the male in a completely different light or maybe the Clark’s just hadn’t seen a certain side of him before. A sigh of relief escaped as he nodded. He needed that parental figure now more than ever. “Now or ever is a really long time, don’t you think? Might change your mind eventually.”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

despite everything that troy had done ( everything that she KNEW about ), madison felt a connection to him. so much of the boy had just needed a PARENT. someone to love him unconditionally and support him. someone willing to allow him to make mistakes and FALL but always be there to help him get back up. maybe so much of what he had done could have been AVOIDED had his parents simply loved him. she had never been the best mother. she had always been fully aware of that. but at least she had LOVED her children. at least she had done everything she could to protect them. to care for them. jeremiah had done the smallest amount always. his mother had clearly been even WORSE.  “ yes. ” he needed to control himself even MORE now. there were so many fresh rules. “ you could get in so much more trouble here. you need to stay under the radar. so the more you can CONTROL yourself, the better.” it sounded so wrong. but she knew the words WORKED for him. “ that means the world to me, troy. you have no idea. knowing you were protecting them when i couldn’t...thank you. ” madison knows that any and all praise for the boy makes things EASIER. especially if it’s so tied to something he’s done for her. “ no. i’m extremely stubborn, troy. i won’t be changing my mind any time soon. ” finally, madison began taking in every bit of the city around them again. it was a mess of people and it made her ANXIOUS. she had gotten so used to the dead. so used to KNOWING their motives and how to avoid them. the living were an entirely different ballgame. even in whatever world this was. “ do you have a place to STAY? you’re safe, right? ”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

xottosurvivorx:

Letting out a sigh, he understood the way she felt. He had felt the same way at first, the denial, not wanting to believe that something like this was possible, but the truth is that they’re all here and this is very much real. “Madison, take a deep breath.” He paused. “This is very much real, I’m here, you’re here, Alicia and Nick are here and so is Troy. I don’t know how this is possible, but it’s happening.” 

madison paused and allowed herself a moment or two to RELAX. to take a few breaths and calm down. she couldn’t be the irrational, crazy one in this situation. she had to be STRONG. she had to be smart. if they wanted to figure out what all of this was, they needed to remain as calm as possible. they were all here and they were all alive. “ you’re RIGHT. we just need to...to focus on us all being here and figuring out what’s going on. how long were you all here before i showed up?”

[madiisonclaark-blog]

notpcrfect:

“i’d go out on a limb here and say new york. just a hunch.”

“ ha. i think you might just be RIGHT. never been here before. not entirely sure how i ended up here either. ”

[spccnedeyc-blog]

It wasn’t that he didn’t fully believe he had his brother. Jake has told him himself he’d be there for him but as he was grown up and could take care of himself, Troy didn’t feel the need to have his brother look out for him like he once did. He could handle himself. Even if in the old world he needed all the support he could get. Her words sounded more maternal than any that left his own mothers lips when alive. To others how he felt about Madison, how he acted towards her and treated her might come across strange but all he ever wanted was a parent that cared, loved him even. He wouldn’t go that far but she had proved she cared and that was enough. “Gonna scold him for not paying enough attention to his little brother?” A grin formed as he asked, stifling a chuckle as he shook his head. As soon as he felt her touch his grin automatically disappeared. His gaze locking onto her hand that was placed onto his arm, fighting the urge to place his own hand over hers. Lost for words was a rare for the male but how he could possibly respond? Least without coming across desperate or creepy when it came to the woman. He nodded in response instead, letting his eyes fall on her once her hand left his arm. Having a purpose in the old world was needed, especially if he was going to keep from showing his dark side like he knew he had to. Lashing out in a world full of laws, like Alicia had told him, wouldn’t end well. “I wasn’t built for this. I was built for the ranch. For the apocalypse. What do you suggest I do? Huh? I’m not social enough or schooled enough. I’m not Jake.” He had his likes and interests he could fall back on where as Troy couldn’t. Not without the ranch and the walkers. “You’re not gonna give up on me like most do, are you?” The question came out of nowhere. He trusted and believed every word she had said but with how many had walked out already, he needed to be sure. Especially after losing the only friend he ever had. More so his own fault now than before.

[madiisonclaark-blog]

“ yes. ” the corners of her lips were tugged up into a small smile but madison was entirely SERIOUS. if jake needed a reminder of how important family was, madison would HAPPILY remind him. it didn’t matter where they were or what was happening around them, family came FIRST. always. for a moment, the silence between them put madison slightly on edge. she knew far too much about the boy to ENJOY any sort of silence. but at the same time, she knew his mind was always working. always taking things in and studying each tiny little detail. his mind had FASCINATED her from day one. “ no, you’re not jake. you’re faster than jake. smarter. more adaptable. you can make this world your OWN, troy. you can make it fit you better than anything but you need to be willing to work at it. you need to be willing to sacrifice parts of you in order to SURVIVE here. it’s just like the apocalypse. except the dead are suddenly ALIVE and have no idea what we’ve been through. we just need to smile and NOD and get through. ” she didn’t fit just as much as he didn’t but she KNEW what they needed to do. until they could FIGURE OUT what had happened. how they had gotten here. “ give UP on you? troy, no. i’m not giving up on you. now or ever. we’ll get through this. maybe we’ll end up back on the ranch. who KNOWS. but i’m not giving up. ”