My Journey To Bake A Little Bundle Of Joy

Blogging on my ttc journey, inspirational quotes, etc

[madisonnaomi2012]

Update...No I’m not preggers

8/2019 I haven’t logged onto this page in awhile. I really needed to step away, due to me becoming obsessed with ttc. I think it’s been about 2 years, since the last that I was on here. I decided to post an update, because every now and then, I would get notification emails of people following me, or commenting on a “ttc” post that I made.

Update 1: My mom passed away last yr 😢. It was completely unexpected. What makes it worse was that she had such a positive mind that I was going to get pregnant one day, and I hate that I couldn’t give her a grandchild before she left. She never pressured me to give her grandchildren. She just wanted me to be able to give birth, because she knew my heart desired that so much.

Update 2: My oldest sister gave birth to a set of twin girls, 3 weeks after our mom passed away. Of course she wasn’t ttc, it just happened. My mom was ecstatic when she found out, but wanted to make sure I was okay in dealing with all of this 😌😔.

Update 3: I’m still focusing on my traveling, to take my mind off of not being able to conceive. So far, my husband and I have been to a few major cities in the U.S. We are planning on taking a European trip next year in the summer. I’m really looking forward to that.

I hope that you all have had better luck than myself. Still sending baby dust your way.

[madisonnaomi2012]

This is literally a thought that crossed my mind several times while being around some of my friends and family members. Especially one of my friends that wasn’t trying to get pregnant AT ALL and ended up with 2 kids 10 months apart. She is always upset that she can never find anyone to watch her kids so that she can have a good turn up time... Seriously wtf am I doing wrong?!?!

[madisonnaomi2012]

Oh yeah...

Another 1 of my cousins just announced her pregnant as well.

[madisonnaomi2012]

My predictions years ago were so off...

I predicted that at my age right now, I would have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl.

I would read to them Pete the cat saves Christmas, The Snowy day, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and The Polar express every other night up until Christmas day.

Christmas eve, I’d take them out for some fun activities in the snow and then come back inside for brunch and maybe a short nap. Then I’d take them over to their grandparents house, while their dad and I tried to get most of their presents wrapped up and put together (and hidden) for later on that night. 

We’d pick them up and come back home to bake Christmas cookies for Santa and watch Christmas specials from their favorite tv shows and the Christmas classics that I grew up watching until they fell asleep.

By morning, they’d open their gifts to see what all Santa had brought them. And their dad would have a special gift in his stocking attached to his favorite candy bar...an ultra sound in his stocking announcing that he had another son or daughter on the way :-)

[madisonnaomi2012]

Update...

Nope, I’m still not preggers. But in the past 4 or 5 months, since my last post

-3 of my coworkers have given birth

-3 of my coworkers have announced their pregnancies

-1 of my cousins has given birth

-2 of my  classmates from high school have given birth to their 4th child

-4 of my church members have announced their pregnancies

So you can imagine how my “focusing my ttc energy elsewhere” has been going. It is very difficult to do when it is constantly in my face left and right. 

Sending prayers, baby dust, and holiday cheer your way this cycle.

[madisonnaomi2012]

Focusing ttc energy elsewhere

I don't want to say I'm giving up, but I'm becoming obsessed with this stuff again. I think I want to focus my energy (and money) towards buying a really nice house and doing some traveling. At least travel twice a year. Preferably once in the states and once outside of the states. I would much rather spend the $ that I have been spending on doctor visits, surgeries, medication, etc on things that are true investments like traveling, my hobbies, getting things together that I need for a house. I'm truly tired of being disappointed every month and I believe that is time for me to accept the fact that it is just not meant to be for me right now (if ever). So why not fully treat and invest myself into other ways? Hey Maui! I'm seeing u first! 😃

[madisonnaomi2012]

Family visit...

So once again, that good ol question came up, and I just kindly explained to the family member that asked (bc she is a sweetheart), that I have endometriosis. She then said to Just put it in God's hands. I honestly feel like I have been doing that, but then I am also still wondering on when is it going to happen for me. So many children were running around playing today and all I kept thinking was that I needed to catch up 😢

[weretrying]

Glad I’m not the only one pulling negative pregnancy tests out of the trash can JUST TO TRIPLE CHECK…

[dungeonsndiapers]

STOP TELLING PEOPLE WHO ARE TTC TO “JUST RELAX” OR “STOP TRYING” AND THEY WILL GET PREGNANT!!!!!

Also if anyone says to me “It will happen when its supposed to happen” or “in God’s perfect time” ever again I am punching them right in their suck hole

[madisonnaomi2012]

That Awkward Moment

That Awkward Moment when someone tags you in a "Happy Mothers Day" Post and you're not a mom...

[madisonnaomi2012]

Sending prayers of strength and hope to you ladies out there to get through tomorrow 😌

[madisonnaomi2012]

Do not know who to get mad at...

1.Positive OPK ✅ 2. Baby danced day of positive OPK ✅ 3. Baby danced 2 days before positive OPK and 2 days after ✅ 4. Period 1 day late & took pregnancy test ➖ 5. Waited 2 more days to take another test ➖ 6. Got aunt flow 11 hours later 😡😢😡😧😡 WTF!!!! I just hate that my cycle can't stay regular like it use to!!! It hasn't been 3 days late in over a year!!!!

[madisonnaomi2012]

My temperature went down on 03/09, and on 03/11, it went back up. Today (03/12), it slightly went up again. But I am a little confused on if I already ovulated, or if I’m about to ovulate based off the chart and the OPKs.

[madisonnaomi2012]

Laparoscopy surgery

I haven’t been on in a few months because I had found myself obsessing with ttc.

I did say a few months ago that everything was normal for me…. Except for 1 thing: a polyp was found. And I have endometriosis.

I cried, freaked out, worried etc, just like anyone else that has been trying to conceive for 2+ years. But I sucked it up, and had my surgery (laparoscopy) about 2 weeks ago. Thankfully, the polyp that they found was benign and it was easy to remove. So now we have to give it 4-6 months of trying to see if removing the polyp helped.

I sincerely hope that this month is for you ladies. I wish u nothing but blessings and more blessings.

[madisonnaomi2012]

🙏🏾

[madisonnaomi2012]

Ughhhh

I'm not even sure what the score is now... Aunt Flo 46- Us 0. All the more reason to get the sperm analysis test done tomorrow. My husband is definitely not thrilled about it (but what man would be). Especially since everything came back normal for me :-/.

[hyenaqueenrasaphane-deactivated]

Things that are not okay to ask me if you haven’t seen me in a while

If you run into me at the store or whatever don’t ask me these personal questions because it’s hard for me not to be salty and bitter at this time with people taking their fall baby and pregnancy pictures in the leaves and gearing up for baby’s first Christmas and Christmas pregnancy announcements. 

So when are you gonna get pregnant? 

What are you waiting for (to get pregnant)?

Well have you seen a doctor? 

Things you should ask me: 

How’s school? What classes are you taking? How are the dogs and cat? How’s your husband? How’s your family? What’s new? When is the next meet? You doing anything special for the holidays? Visiting the in-laws? When’s the next party? 

I’m so sorry my uterus doesn’t work right. I’m so sorry I’m not heavy with child so you people can pump me full of their excellent parenting and pregnancy advice. I’m sorry I can’t be in your secret little club because I’m your only childless friend. Sorry. 

[madisonnaomi2012]

👏🏾🙁