Joker and Harley

Puddin and his Looney Toon.

[madlove1999]

Joker: Guess what? I have flaws.

Joker: What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering.

Joker: Occasionally I'll kill someone. Sue me.

[madlove1999]

Harley: What...was that, back there?

Joker: A moment of weakness, it won't happen again.

Harley: B-but, what if I want it to?

Joker: You want me to shoot you again?

Harley: ....I was talking about our kiss-

[madlove1999]

[Celebrating a successful job]

Joker: You may throw my hat, Harley.

Harley: Oh, thank you Boss!

Harley: *throws hat*

Joker: Now go get it.

[madlove1999]

Joker: Did no one come to break me out just because they missed me?

Harley: *raises hand*

Everyone else:

[madlove1999]

Joker: Smiling is also what I do when I'm not listening.

Harley: But you smile all the time- Puddin!

Joker: What?

[madlove1999]

Batman: Why are you doing this?

Joker: Because I'm bored, it's funny, and I hate you. The holy trinity of why.

[harleyquinncomfort]

Joker: What is it with you always wanting to cuddle?!

Harley: But Mr.J...I never asked ta cuddle...

Joker: *pulls her closer* Yeah. Suuure. I know what you want.

[madlove1999]

Joker: Come on Harley.

Harley: Where are we going, Puddin?

Joker: Either to get ice cream, or commit a felony, I'll decide in the car.

[madlove1999]

Joker: I'm disappointed, Doctor Quinzel. I thought you and I were close.

Harleen: I know you're manipulating me... but I love it, and I will tell you anything.

[madlove1999]

Harley: If only there was somewhere to sit...

Joker: *gestures to open chair next to him*

Harley: *kicks chair over* I wish there was somewhere for me to sit.

Joker: *sighs and gestures to his lap*

Harley: *sits on his lap* I knew you'd catch on.

[madlove1999]

Harley: I have made the decision to trust you.

Joker: A horrible decision really.

[madlove1999]

Harley: We had a moment. I cradled you in my arms!

Joker: Nope. Don't remember, didn't happen.

[madlove1999]

Joker: we can bake these cookies at 400 degees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute

Frost: no that's not how you make cookies

Harley: FLOOR IT!

Joker: how about 4,000,000 for one second?!?

Frost: yOURE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN!

Joker: IM GONNA HARVEST THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Harley: DO IT!

Frost: NO-

[madlove1999]

Mob boss: Hey, how y'all-

Harley: *snarles*

Mob boss: *screams* GET YO FUCKIN GIRL, BITCH!!!

Joker: It don't bite.

Mob boss: YES IT DO! GET THAT-

[madlove1999]

[The Joker walking into the Iceberg Lounge]

Penguin: You have a lot of nerve coming in here.

Joker: You have a lot of nerve being alive.

[madlove1999]

Joker: You do realize once we get the new mattress we'll have to break it in.

Harley: I get what you're saying, trampoline mattress!

Harley: Oh! You meant sex.

Joker: Yeah, but the trampoline thing sounds fun.

[madlove1999]

Harley, jokingly: I should have Mr. J kill you for that.

Joker, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Harley: Wh- no Puddin, I was just kidding around.

Joker, pulling out a switchblade: No, who's bothering you?