OSCAR PIASTRI X READER: hurt my feelings
“She wears your number, but I got what you like
She's got you right now, but I'm still on your mind”
—————————————————————————————
- this is based loosely off the Tate McRae song “hurt my feelings”. enjoy!!!
- psa: I have nothing against Lily! she’s just used as a plot point. I’m also brand new to F1 so if I get some stuff wrong I’m sorry!! 🤍
—————————————————————————————
The paddock was full of energy as the sun was shining down in Melbourne. It felt as if it was nearly sizzling my skin off. I was quick to snap pictures when given the chance, trying to catch the absolute best moments just before the Australian Grand Prix went green. I decided to stroll down to the garages to get more pictures, and wish Lando, Oscar, and the team good luck. I snapped pictures as I walked along the garage, then I heard a familiar voice.
“Y/n! There’s my darling” Lando shouted out to me, making his was towards me. Lando was by far my best friend at McLaren, even though we had different careers in Formula 1 - we got along exceptionally well. Ever since we got introduced to each other last year, we’ve been inseparable.
“Lando!” I yelled back, walking towards him to meet the distance.
“I was coming down here to look for you and Oscar. Wanted to wish you guys good luck” I said wrapping my arms around Lando, wrapping him a tight hug.
“Ah, thank you y/n! Good luck finding Oscar, I have no clue where the guy went - he’s probably went off to see his family real quick and Lily” Lando squeezed me before letting go of the hug. My facial expression faltered slightly at the mention of Lily, Oscars girlfriend.
Oscar and Lily had been dating for about four months now and it was absolutely hell. Yes, she was a sweet girl but there was just something I couldn’t stand about her.
I guess Lando picked up on my facial change. “Oh come on bug, you still having a rough time about Lily?” He started, making his voice lower to where nobody nearby could hear.
“"I... I don’t know," I sighed, chewing on the inside of my cheek. "It’s just… hard, I guess. I don’t even know what it is about her." I wasn’t sure why I felt this way, but I couldn’t deny that Lily’s presence in Oscar’s life made me uneasy.
“Lando, Y/n!” I turned to the direction of the voice, but I already knew who it was before my head even rotated. Oscar came bouncing over to us, with Lily on his arm. I put on my best smile, acting as if Lando and I weren’t just talking about them. Lando and I said our ‘hello’s’ and then I started to space out as the boys and Lily conversed. I couldn’t help but notice Lily was wearing a McLaren shirt, emblazoned with none other than ‘Piastri’ in big bold letters. My heart skipped a beat. Had they really gotten that serious already? They’d only been together for a few months. Why was she already sporting his name like that?
"Y/N? Y/N!" Oscar waved his hand in front of my face, pulling me from my thoughts. "You okay?" he asked, concern flickering across his face.
"Yeah, I’m fine," I quickly replied, giving him a small nod. "Just a little tired." But I could feel the weight of my words—the truth hanging in the air. Oscar was still holding onto my heart, even if I wasn’t ready to admit it yet.
He didn’t seem convinced. His gaze lingered a little too long, like he could see right through me
Oscar and I had a complicated history. I joined McLaren when he was starting his second year, and like with Lando, we became inseparable. But our connection was different. We’d steal glances when no one was watching, stay up late texting or on the phone, and he’d always bring me my favorite coffee. It felt intimate—like something deeper was there. Even Lando, who knew me better than anyone, insisted there was no way Oscar didn’t have feelings for me.
And then came the day I was ready to ask him about it—to finally confess my feelings. But instead of a romantic conversation, Oscar introduced Lily to the team, and everything inside me shattered. I cried harder that night than I ever had in my life.
Was it dramatic? Yes, but when you’re that invested in someone, the heartbreak feels like the end of the world. The worst part was that Oscar and I were never anything more than close friends—yet somehow, it hurt even more knowing that. Especially with how secretive he’d been about Lily. I felt like an outsider in my own friendship with him, like I didn’t matter enough for him to share something so important.
Since then, things between Oscar and me had shifted. He stopped bringing me coffee, the late-night chats stopped, and our conversations became more professional, more distant. We still talked, of course—mostly business stuff, race-related updates, and the occasional congratulations or condolences. But it wasn’t the same.
Lando knew exactly how I felt. He could see it in my eyes, hear it in my voice when I couldn’t hide it. He had been there for me when I couldn’t get out of bed, when I was crushed by the weight of it all. And even though I’d managed to pull myself back together, that quiet ache still lingered.
I pushed through the motions of my work: races on the weekends, taking pictures, showing up to work for the week, and then doing it all over again. I loved my job, but seeing Oscar every day, especially with Lily in the picture now, felt like a constant reminder of everything I couldn’t have.
I shook off my thoughts and smiled tightly. "Good luck, guys. I’ll see you after the race for photos." I glanced at Oscar, then quickly avoided Lily’s gaze, feeling like her eyes were burning through me. The boys said their thanks, Lando gave me one last tight hug, and I excused myself, making my way back up to the paddock.
As I climbed the stairs, I glanced back and saw Oscar staring at me from a distance. My heart skipped a beat. My cheeks flushed crimson, and I quickly turned away, rushing up the stairs to catch my breath. There was no denying it anymore—I was still in deep. And the way Oscar looked at me, despite the distance between us, made my heart ache even more.
——————————————————————————
The race wrapped up with Lando finishing in P3 and Oscar in P4. I rushed to the podium to capture Lando celebrating, popping champagne, and basking in the excitement of the moment.
When Lando spotted me, he shot me a playful grin and posed for the camera. I giggled, snapping a few quick shots before, suddenly, Lando grabbed me into a hug, lifting me off the ground.
“Lando! Put me down!” I laughed, trying to wiggle free.
“Never bug!” Lando said spinning me around in the air. Finally he put me down.
“Congratulations dude! You’re insane!” I said pushing Lando’s shoulder. He just smiled smugly back at me laughing.
“Thanks y/n. We’re partying hard tonight!” Landon said pumping his fists and trophy in the air. I jokingly rolled my eyes, Lando and his post-race parties.
“For sure” I said laughing, nothing good and well I would not be attending if he did throw something. “Uhm…I better go find Oscar and get some pictures” I told Lando.
“You got this” Lando said hugging me one last time. I was so lucky to have a best friend like him. I left the podium, on my search for Oscar to snap some pictures.
When I got to the bottom of the podium, I saw him standing with the rest of the team taking and celebrating - no Lily in sight. I quickly jogged over to him. When I reached him I tapped him on his shoulder, he turned around and when he noticed it was me I saw some kind of emotion in his eyes - but I couldn’t tell what it was.
“Pictures?” I said raising my camera looking up at him. He nodded his head and posed for me, I quickly took some photos.
“Congratulations on P4, you did great today” I said once I finished photos, putting my camera back in my bag.
“Thank you, it was definitely a fight out there today” Oscar said smiling down at the ground. God, his smile was so infectious it made me sick. He was absolutely beautiful and I hated that I just couldn’t let him go.
I placed my hand in his elbow. “Still, you raced like hell Piastri” I said looking him in his eyes searching for any kind of emotion he could display. It seemed like his breathing had hitched when I placed my hand on him and the look in his eyes got darker.
“Oscar! Oscar!” A voice shouted out over the sea of people. I turned my head around, it was Lily. Oscar stared at me for a little longer and then soon Lily wrapped him up in a hug, pushing me out of the way like I wasn’t even there. I stepped back, stumbling a bit. Lily was screaming ‘congrats’ and other sweet nothings in Oscar’s ear. Oscar still just looked at me, the same look not going away at all - he almost looked… sad? Maybe, I wasn’t sure. I just quickly nodded my head at him and walked back towards the paddock, trying to forget what just happened.
——————————————————————————
As the race weekend came to a close and the paddock began to empty, I felt that familiar pang deep in my chest. The constant hum of the engines, the cheers from the stands, the energy of the race—it all started to fade into the background as my mind drifted. I was trying, so hard, to tell myself that I needed to stay away from Oscar. That I needed to let go and focus on something, anything, other than him.
But every time I saw him, I couldn’t help myself. The way he smiled, the way his eyes would light up when he was genuinely happy—it all made me feel like I was losing my grip. I was caught between wanting to be close to him and knowing it was better to keep my distance. Especially after our conversation after the race today.
I wandered over to where Lando was still celebrating with the team. He was surrounded by people, chatting and laughing, basking in the afterglow of his impressive P3 finish. I should’ve felt happy for him—after all, he was my best friend. But right now, all I could think about was the interaction I had just had with Oscar, the look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite read, the way he had seemed… distant.
After a while, Lando and I were finally back at the hotel we were all staying at.
I followed Lando through the hotel lobby, our footsteps echoing in the emptiness. The race had been a whirlwind—his P3 finish was impressive, as always, and Oscar had fought hard for his P4—but none of that seemed to matter anymore. My mind was stuck on one thing: Oscar. And the way he looked at me earlier, right before Lily had shown up, wrapping herself around him like she had every right to be there. It wasn’t just jealousy—it was the crushing realization that I’d never be the one to stand there with him. Not in the way I wanted.
“Hey, come on,” Lando said, giving me a nudge as we walked through the hotel corridors toward the bar. “Let’s grab a drink, yeah? You’ve been working nonstop all weekend.”
I didn’t protest. Lando always knew how to pull me out of my head, even if it was only temporary. We entered the hotel bar, and I quickly slid onto a stool, trying to ignore the heaviness in my chest. The bar was quieter than usual, a few race team members scattered around with drinks in hand, but it felt like the perfect place to try and forget for a while.
Lando ordered for us both, his usual easy smile still in place despite the chaos of the weekend. But as soon as he turned to me, I could tell he knew something was off. He always did.
Lando was quiet for a beat, watching me with that understanding look of his. “You mean Oscar?”
I looked away for a moment, my heart beating faster. “I keep telling myself to move on, to stop feeling like this, but every time I see him—Oscar—I just get these stupid feelings, Lando. I know he’s with Lily, and I know it’s not going to happen, but… I can’t let go of this hope, this stupid hope that maybe… maybe something could change.”
Lando sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I get it, Y/N. But listen, you’ve got to stop holding onto something that’s hurting you. I know you care about him, but if he doesn’t see you the way you see him, then you’ve got to step back. It’s not worth it.”
I bit my lip, my gaze dropping to the bar top . “I don’t know how to let go. It’s just so hard. And every time I see him with her, it just… it feels like a slap in the face. I keep thinking that maybe something will click, but it never does. And I’m just… I’m so tired of feeling this way.”
Lando’s expression softened as he set his glass down and leaned closer. “Listen, you’re one of the strongest people I know. But you’ve got to stop fighting for something that’s not meant for you. If Oscar doesn’t see what he’s got in front of him, that’s his loss, not yours. You can’t keep putting yourself through this.”
I nodded at Lando’s words - he was right. I couldn’t hold on to Oscar because it was hurting me, but something about the hurt made me crave it more.
——————————————————————————
I tossed and turned in bed that night, restlessness gnawing at my thoughts. After everything that had happened earlier with Oscar, I couldn’t seem to shake the confusion, the hurt, the lingering anger. Every time I closed my eyes, his face, his words, kept replaying in my mind. I couldn’t sleep, not when everything felt like it was hanging on a thread, ready to unravel at any moment.
Eventually, I gave up trying to find rest. The sheets felt suffocating, the quiet of the hotel room pressing in on me. I slipped out of bed and paced the room, trying to make sense of the emotions coursing through me. But no matter how much I walked, no matter how much I tried to distract myself, the truth was clear—I needed to talk to him.
I glanced at the clock. It was late, and I wasn’t sure if he’d even be awake, but I couldn’t keep pretending that I was fine. The tension between us had only gotten worse, and I had to face it. I had to get some answers, even if I was scared of what I might hear.
After a few moments of hesitation, I grabbed my jacket, slipped on my shoes, and left my room. My footsteps were quiet as I walked down the hallway, my nerves a tangled mess. My mind was telling me to turn back, but I ignored it. I couldn’t leave things like this. Not anymore.
I reached Oscar’s door, standing in front of it, my hand hovering over the knob for a moment. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heartbeat. My fingers finally brushed against the door, and I knocked lightly. It was late, and I wasn’t even sure he’d answer, but I couldn’t wait any longer.
The sound of footsteps from inside caused my breath to catch in my throat. I could feel my pulse quicken as the door creaked open, revealing Oscar, standing there in a t-shirt and sweatpants. His hair was messy, his eyes slightly bleary, but he was still the same Oscar. And seeing him like this—so close and yet so far—made the weight of everything hit me harder than I expected.
He blinked at me for a second, clearly surprised to see me standing there. “Y/N?” His voice was soft, cautious, as if unsure why I was there. “What’s going on?”
I opened my mouth, but no words came out immediately. I had so many things to say, but they were all jumbled in my head. Instead, I swallowed hard and looked him in the eyes. “I need to talk to you,” I said quietly, trying to keep my voice steady.
Oscar looked at me for a long moment, as if weighing his options, before he stepped aside and gestured for me to come in. “Okay,” he said, his voice low. “Come in.”
I entered, and the door clicked shut behind me. The room was dimly lit, the only real light coming from the faint glow of the bathroom. Oscar didn’t immediately sit down. He just stood there, watching me, waiting for me to say something. I hated how much I could feel the distance between us, even though we were standing less than a meter apart.
“I…” I started, then stopped. How could I even begin? The words felt impossible to find, as though I were speaking in a foreign language, trying to translate my emotions into something coherent.
Oscar’s gaze softened, his voice gentle but still filled with concern. “You look like you haven’t slept,” he said, his eyes scanning me as if trying to figure out what was going on. “Are you okay?”
I couldn’t answer that. Not when the answer felt like it would spill out too much at once, and I wasn’t ready for that. Instead, I exhaled sharply, shaking my head. “I don’t know, Oscar,” I admitted, my voice cracking slightly. “I don’t know if I’m okay. I’ve been thinking about everything, and I’m just... so lost.”
He remained silent for a few seconds, waiting for me to continue, but I couldn’t seem to find the right words. It was like I was suffocating under the weight of all the unspoken things. My throat tightened, and I finally just let it all spill out.
“You kept Lily from us, from me,” I said, almost stumbling over the words. “You kept her a secret, Oscar. And it was like everything changed. We were close, but then one day, it was like I didn’t even matter anymore. You didn’t even try to explain it, and now everything feels... broken. Like it’s too late to fix it. I just don’t understand why you couldn’t talk to me.”
Oscar’s expression faltered, and I saw the conflict in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up my hand, cutting him off.
“You can’t just say sorry and expect it all to be fine,” I said, the anger creeping back into my voice. “You’ve been distant for the past four months, Oscar. And I’m tired of feeling like I don’t know where I stand with you.”
The silence stretched between us, both of us caught in the weight of everything that had been left unsaid. Oscar stood there, seemingly trying to gather his thoughts, but it felt like he was struggling with his own emotions, unsure of how to bridge the gap.
Finally, he spoke, his voice low. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/N. I really didn’t. But I didn’t know how to handle it... how to handle what was between us. I kept thinking, kept hoping that maybe if I stayed away, it wouldn’t complicate things.”
“Complicate things?” I asked, disbelief rising in my chest. “Oscar, you’ve already complicated everything. You didn’t just pull away; you pushed me out. You were always so careful, so guarded, and then with her, it was like everything was easy. But with me... I felt like I didn’t know what I was to you anymore.”
Oscar closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a long breath, and when he opened them again, there was something raw in his gaze. “I should have been more honest with you. About everything.” He paused, his lips slightly parted as if he was searching for the right words. “But the truth is... I didn’t know how to tell you that... I like you, Y/N. I’ve always liked you. And I didn’t know how you felt. I saw the signs, sure, but I didn’t want to make things weird between us. I thought maybe... maybe it was better to just keep things the way they were.”
The words hit me harder than I expected. My heart skipped a beat, and I had to catch my breath. I stared at him, trying to process what he’d just said. He liked me. All this time, with the awkwardness, the distance—it was because he didn’t know how I felt? My mind was spinning.
“I didn’t want to lose you,” he continued, his voice trembling slightly. “But now I see that in trying not to mess things up, I’ve only made everything worse. And I hate myself for it.”
I swallowed hard, trying to steady myself. It wasn’t just about Lily. It was about him, about us, and everything that had been left unspoken for far too long. “You think... you think this is something you can just fix with words, Oscar?” I said, my voice shaking. “Do you even know what you’ve done to me?”
He stepped closer, his eyes searching mine as if pleading for me to understand. “I know I’ve messed up. But I don’t want to lose what we had. I don’t want to lose you. Not when I’ve only just realized what you mean to me.”
I felt the weight of his words sink in, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I didn’t know what to say. My heart ached with the realization that there was something between us, something we hadn’t addressed, but the past wasn’t so easily erased. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe that things could change, that we could find our way back to something real.
“I don’t know, Oscar,” I said softly. “I don’t know what comes next.”
He nodded, his face falling slightly. “I don’t know either. But I want to figure it out with you. If you’re willing to try.”
I took a deep breath, still trying to process everything Oscar had just said. His words were still echoing in my mind, but I knew there was more we needed to talk about—something that had been looming between us from the very beginning.
I shifted uneasily, glancing at Oscar before I spoke. “And what about Lily?” I asked quietly. The question hung in the air between us, heavy and unavoidable. “What happens with her?”
Oscar’s expression faltered for a second. He seemed to tense up, the weight of the question settling in. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the floor for a moment before meeting my gaze again. “I don’t want to hurt her, Y/N,” he said softly. “But I don’t want to keep lying to her or myself either.”
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “I don’t want to hurt her either,” I admitted, my voice quieter now. “I don’t know her, not really, but... I don’t want to be the one to cause drama or tension between you two.” I paused, struggling to find the right words. “But I also don’t want to be this... person on the sidelines, wondering where I fit into your life. I don’t want to keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.”
Oscar’s eyes softened, and he took a step closer to me, his voice gentle. “You’re not on the sidelines, Y/N. I’ve been an idiot, and I know I’ve messed things up. But I’m not asking you to keep pretending like nothing’s wrong. I want to be honest with you, and I know I need to be honest with Lily too.”
I nodded slowly, feeling a mixture of relief and anxiety swirl inside me. “And what do you think is going to happen with you and her?” I asked, my voice uncertain, afraid of the answer.
Oscar hesitated, his gaze flickering to the door for a moment before returning to me. “I don’t know yet. We need to talk. I’ve been keeping things from her, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I need to be honest with her, with both of us.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I never meant to hurt anyone. But I think it’s clear that there’s something between us. Something I’ve been trying to ignore, even though it’s been there all along.”
My heart raced at his words, the vulnerability in his eyes only making everything more complicated. “I don’t want to be the one to hurt her, Oscar,” I said again, my voice quiet. “But I can’t keep pretending that I don’t have feelings for you. It’s too hard. And if I’m being honest, it feels like I’m just waiting for you to figure it all out.”
Oscar reached out, his hand hovering near mine before he gently placed it on top of my hand. “I’m not asking you to wait. I don’t want to make you feel like you have to put your life on hold because of me.” He squeezed my hand lightly, his eyes locking onto mine with a sincerity that made my chest tighten. “But I also don’t want to keep lying to Lily. She deserves better than that. She deserves the truth, just like you do.”
I nodded slowly, feeling a weight settle over me. This wasn’t going to be easy for anyone involved. But for the first time in a long while, it felt like Oscar and I were finally on the same page. It was messy, it was complicated, and it wasn’t going to be resolved overnight, but at least we were facing it together. At least, we were being honest with each other.
“I just don’t know how to do this,” I said quietly, my voice trembling slightly. “I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I also can’t keep pretending like nothing’s going on between us. I don’t want to be in the middle of all this, Oscar. I don’t want to feel like I’m betraying her, but I can’t keep pushing my feelings down either.”
Oscar’s expression softened, and he took a step closer to me, his hand gently brushing my arm. “I get it. And I promise, I’ll make sure Lily isn’t caught in the middle of all this. I need to have that conversation with her, no matter how hard it is. But I don’t want to keep pretending like nothing’s going on with us. I know it’s going to be difficult, but I want to figure this out. With you.”
I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest. “Okay. I want that too. But I need time, Oscar. I need to process everything that’s happened. I don’t know if I’m ready to jump into something, especially with all the mess around it.”
Oscar looked at me with a quiet understanding. “I get that. Take all the time you need. But just know that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. And I’ll do what I can to make sure this doesn’t cause any more hurt than it already has.”
We stood there for a moment, the weight of everything between us. I felt like we were on the edge of something new, but I also knew that there was still so much to untangle. Still, I couldn’t ignore the way my chest ached with the realization that maybe, just maybe, there was hope for us.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice soft. “For being honest. I needed to hear that.”
Oscar gave me a small smile, his eyes filled with a mix of regret and relief. “You deserve that honesty, Y/N. I’m sorry it took me so long to give it to you.”
I gave a small nod, my heart still racing with everything we had just laid bare. It wasn’t going to be easy. It was going to take time, patience, and honesty—things we’d both struggled with. But for the first time, I felt like we were finally moving in the right direction. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t clean. But it was real.
——————————————————————————
A few days after arriving back home - it was straight back to the McLaren office for work. I was sat at my desk in my office, working on editing photos, when I heard a knock on my door.
“Come in” I said out loud, taking my attention off my computer to look up at the door.
Oscar peeked his head in the door, closing it behind him. In his hand, he held a coffee.
“I brought you something” Oscar said, handing the coffee out to me. Him and I haven’t talked about our conversation in his hotel room since it happened.
I smiled at him, my heart swelled at how he smiled at me. I graciously accepted the coffee.
“Why thank you, sir” I said taking a sip of it, Oscar still remembered my coffee order after all these months. It made me smile incredibly hard.
I then dropped to a more serious face and tone. “Uhm so… have you talked to Lily?” I asked sipping on my coffee, turning my attention back to the photo I was editing.
Oscar shifted his weight slightly, his gaze falling on the floor before he looked back up at me. “I have,” he said, his voice soft. “It wasn’t easy. But I was honest with her”.
I nodded, focusing on the screen, even though my mind was racing with a thousand thoughts. “And how did it go?” I asked, even though I was half afraid of the answer.
Oscar sighed, sitting down in one of the chairs I had at the front of my desk. “It was... tough. But I think she understood. She wasn’t happy about it, obviously, but she said she appreciated the honesty. I don’t think she expected it to be easy, but I don’t think she was completely blindsided either.”
I felt a small weight lift off my chest, but a quiet tension still lingered in the air between us. I glanced at him for a moment, trying to read his face.
“This” I say, pointing between Oscar and I, “Is going to take time and rebuilding”. Oscar nods his head.
“I know and I’m okay with that, but I’m willing to do anything to make it better Y/N” he stares at me. I could tell he was genuine.
I showed him a small smile, letting our silence linger. I glanced over at my computer.
“Want to go through some of your photos from this past weekend?” I asked looking at him.
“Yes, I do” he said, getting up out of the chair and coming behind my desk. He stood behind my chair and placed his hands on my armrests, leaning over my head and peering at the computer, ready to look at the pictures.
I felt my heart rate pick up, but then a sense of calm washed over me. I felt at peace again, I finally had Oscar back.
No matter what, I had still been on his mind this whole time. I was in so deep, I didn’t even mind if he hurt my feelings - again.