nagiisip kaya tulala

mga kwentong walang laman

[stay-close]

“If you’re struggling and your people are just sitting there watching you struggle, they’re not your people.”

— Unknown

[limit]

“The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.”

— Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters (via amortizing)

[emotionalwords]

i’m such a “i want your attention” but “won’t bother you” kinda person

[remanence-of-love]

[mmaisonnnn]

[supreme]

the best time to start was 20 years ago, the next best time is now

[stay-close]

“So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out, and decide.”

— Meredith Grey

[madyikeraa]

That's HIM

I was involved with someone truly intriguing who taught me the value of bravery and the importance of standing firm in my beliefs. He helped me see what I truly deserve in a relationship. While he’s not perfect, he feels perfect for me. Our relationship has its complexities, but we’re working through the challenges together. His presence in my life has opened my eyes to how I was treated in my past relationship. With him, I’ve learned to recognize the standards I deserve, and it’s been a transformative experience. I know I’m not a perfect person; I can be quite complicated, and that’s led to misunderstandings between us. But I’ve changed, and so much has shifted in my perspective. As time goes by, I’ve realized what truly matters. My children will always come first. I want a stable life, which includes having my own home and building a meaningful career. These priorities come before any romantic relationship. I know that this might complicate things, but I hope he can understand as I navigate these changes and work to make our relationship thrive.

[jonaxxjournal]

I was once a JSL ❤️

Hello! It's been a long time and I just visited this blog to reminisce 🙈

My twitter/x accout for this fan account has been suspended and deactivated for almost 3 years (I think) and I have been busy with ... adulting things.

Just want to let you all know that I will not be updating this blog anymore but I will not deactivate/delete it (1) as a proof that in my youth, I have been a JSL , and (2) to share (a lot of) things for those who will and still love jonaxx.

Thank you for all the love and support and the unexpected friendships.

Please continue to love and support Jonaxx.

🩷 Jonaxxjournal signing off~

[itquiet-deactivated20240530]

[madyikeraa]

My note whenever I want to kill my self but I can't.

Entry 1:

I'd rather die than be with my mom forever.

Wishing to die first before my mom does.

[madyikeraa]

Bakit pagod na pagod ako sa lahat. Pagod na pagod akong gawin yung mga bagay na dapat bubuhay sakin.

[madyikeraa]

Attachment.

Mabilis ako maattach, yun lang talaga yung masasabe ko sa sarili ko.

I like the attention.

I like the chase.

But I'm not interested.

I just like the excitement, the thrill of someone liking me.

...

But as time goes by, sumusobra na ata ako.

...

I'm slowly losing myself.

I'm slowly depending on their praises.

I'm slowly obsessing on the idea of having them around.

...

I don't like it.

[madyikeraa]

I thought I am a good but I'm just that typical stone.

My mama always tells me .. that I can do it. If they can, I can too.

My classmates always remind me .. that I'm good at Mathematics when we're in Highschool.

My workmates always call me .. one of the best agents.

I thought I could do it all. I thought I'm good at it. I thought I'm one of the best.

It turns out I'm just average.

[madyikeraa]

Na-trap ata ako sa sarili kong kashitan.

[sa-dnesss]

[madyikeraa]

Bed weather.

Nakakatamad pumasok.

Cheers para sa mga pumapasok nalang para sumweldo. 🥂🍻

[madyikeraa]

Sakit.

Feeling ko may sakit ako.

Sakit na hindi nagagamot pero kayang i-manage kahit paano.

I'm used to being alone.

And whenever someone is voluntarily talking to me about some stuff in my personal life, or even just trying to help me or trying to open a conversation with me voluntarily, I often think that they're into me.

I don't do stupid things with that. I just keep on thinking about that for long time.

I easily assume things, I know.

But I think na feeling ko ako lang talaga to. Na isa lang akong ganito.

I came to manage these thoughts for a while, coz before... i do stupid shits when I am experiencing that.

Idiot right?