Letters to Little One

Stories from my first pregnancy and everyday life.

[maeslittleletters]

Welcome to the world, my love.

April 11, 2026 | 9pm

[maeslittleletters]

Final 8 weeks

Daddy and mommy are waiting for you, anak.

I hadn't posted much updates since we both got busy with work and preparing your things. Mommy has high blood pressure too, so Dr. requested a lot of ultrasounds, NSTs and labs to closely monitor your growth. When mommy got back to work at 31 weeks, that's when we knew there's a growth restriction and I had to catch up on eating for you. In summary, I was tagged as high risk pregnancy during the final weeks.

[maeslittleletters]

Valentine’s Day CAS – 29w3d

Today, February 14, 2026, Valentine’s Day, was all about love, patience, and a little bit of rushing. Sammy and I woke up around 6am, thinking the clinic opened at 9am. When I rechecked, it was actually 8am, first come first serve. So we scrambled, booked Grab, and arrived at Marikina OB GYN Ultrasound Clinic around 8:30am. The doctor wasn’t there yet, but the assistants were already moving with such an organized system that even waiting felt okay. The sonologist arrived at 9am, and by 10:30am, it was finally our turn. Two hours of waiting, but worth it.

I felt nervous before laying down on the bed, my mind racing with all the what-ifs. The Congenital Anomaly Scan (CAS) is one of the most detailed ultrasounds in pregnancy. It checks the baby’s organs, bones, and overall development to rule out major structural problems like heart defects, kidney issues, or cleft lip. Even at 29 weeks, the scan still gives valuable information about growth and anatomy.

When the screen lit up, I saw him. His heartbeat was steady at 159 bpm. His face, his tiny hands and feet, all there.

The sonologist went through each part: brain structures, spine, heart chambers, stomach, kidneys, bladder, umbilical cord, limbs. Everything appeared normal. No congenital anomaly seen at the time of scan. Sammy was called in after the measurements, and I saw the proud look on his face as he watched our baby boy.

One moment that really shocked me was when I saw his feet. Just a few weeks ago they looked so small, but now they’re so big. That explains why his kicks feel so strong lately. I can already see my tummy move from my point of view whenever he pushes. It’s amazing to connect what I feel with what I saw on the screen.

What the Measurements Mean

Growth and Biometry

BPD (Biparietal Diameter): 7.40 cm – width of the baby’s head, consistent with 29w5d.

HC (Head Circumference): 26.67 cm – head size, aligned with 29w.

AC (Abdominal Circumference): 24.83 cm – tummy size, matched 29w.

FL (Femur Length): 5.16 cm – thigh bone, slightly smaller, closer to 27w5d.

EFW (Estimated Fetal Weight): 1216 ± 184 g (2 lbs 12 oz) – at the 15th percentile, meaning baby is smaller than average but still within normal range.

Brain and Nervous System

Cerebellum: 3.41 cm – matches 28w5d, reassuring for brain growth.

Posterior Nuchal Fold: 0.39 cm – normal thickness, rules out certain chromosomal issues.

Cisterna Magna: 0.49 cm – fluid space behind the brain, normal.

Ventricles, Choroid Plexus, Midline structures – all appeared normal.

Heart and Chest

Four-chamber view: Normal – confirms proper heart structure.

Outflow tracts: Intact – blood flow through major vessels is normal.

Cardio-thoracic ratio: 44% – heart size compared to chest size, within normal range.

Abdomen and Organs

Stomach bubble: Present – baby is swallowing amniotic fluid, normal.

Kidneys: Right 3.31 x 1.87 cm, Left 3.49 x 2.06 cm – both normal.

Bladder: Fluid-filled – shows kidneys are working.

Placenta and Amniotic Fluid

Placenta: Anterior, Grade II, High-lying – normal maturity, safe position.

AFI (Amniotic Fluid Index): 18.08 cm – adequate fluid, normal range is 8–24 cm.

Bones and Limbs

Humerus: Left 4.76 cm, Right 4.58 cm

Radius: Left 3.85 cm, Right 3.65 cm

Ulna: Left 4.01 cm, Right 3.94 cm

Femur: Left 5.19 cm, Right 5.16 cm

Tibia: Left 4.67 cm, Right 4.61 cm

Fibula: Left 4.76 cm, Right 4.65 cm

Foot length: Left 5.73 cm, Right 5.43 cm

Fingers and toes: All present and normal

These bone measurements confirm symmetry and normal development.

Sex

Male, confirmed again during the scan.

Estimated Date of Confinement (EDC)

Based on my last menstrual period, the EDC was April 29, 2026. The ultrasound adjusted it slightly to May 3, 2026, based on fetal biometry. This small difference is common and not concerning. Doctors usually stick to the original EDC unless the difference is more than two weeks.

After the Scan

After the CAS, we rushed to Marikina Valley Medical Center to see Dr. Purugganan, worried because she’s only there until noon. Luckily, we made it before 11am. We sat down with Dra. Katrina and asked her a million questions about my night shifts, my approaching EDD, and my glucose results. She looked at my labs and said everything passed. She even wondered if my OGTT at 8 weeks was really accurate since it was so high back then, but now everything’s fine. Another sigh of relief. Another answered prayer.

Looking Ahead

Out of curiosity and excitement, I even asked Gemini to generate what our baby might look like as a newborn and at 1 year old, based on the ultrasound and our photos. Of course, it’s just AI imagination, but it made me smile. I can’t wait to see him personally, to hold him, and to watch him grow.

I am very thankful for my husband, because he keeps on supporting us even if it’s hard. Time, money, and everything I need, he’s always there. After the appointments, we ate outside, did grocery shopping, and went back home. He’s now sleeping as I write this blog. I thank the Lord that everything is normal and our baby is growing well. Just a few weeks more. Mommy will be strong for you.

[maeslittleletters]

25 Weeks With You: A January 2026 Update

As I write this letter, you are about 25 weeks in my belly. How fascinating that journey has been. Ever since I found out about you, I am so thankful that I have another reason to live and survive this world. Thinking about our new family soon, I keep on thanking God for the blessing and the trust that I am able to grow a human being. To be honest, every time that I am receiving a blessing, I always wonder whether I deserve it or not - I was not always confident with myself and the things that I do. But now I am slowly accepting the fact that maybe God gave me you to prove to me that I am worth it. He sees the good in me after all, and He gave me you as a gift.

At 25 weeks, ramdam ko na din yung bigat mo - lalo na sa gabi at madaling araw, tuwing tatayo at iihi. Kailangan na kitang buhatin sa kamay. May pagkamalikot ka na din, lalo na pag naka relax si Mommy. Tanda ko pa, madaling araw ng Jan 5, 2025, unang beses ka naramdaman ka ng Daddy mo. Natutulak mo na yung tiyan ko.

25 weeks was not very easy, I salute all moms out there who made it till labor, as well as the first few weeks of birth. I started watching videos of labor process already and how to push out a baby. Yes - as early as now, I am preparing myself on the scenarios that I can be in few months from now. I am preparing myself for your arrival, Simeon. 15 weeks left, based on my calendar. Your daddy also always tell me that he can't wait to have a baby actually lying around in our house's corners, that he's excited to play with you.

Anyhow, as the title of this blog says: A new year update, I wanted to share more about how our January 2026 is going.

Listed all hospital and nesting needs

Look for an OB and delivery packages

Bought more maternity clothes

Cut carbs again after christmas season due to GDM

Finding studio for maternity / newborn shoot

Finalizing your name

Exercise, chores or daily walk

Received some baby clothes from our close fams

Planning when your Lola will be going back to help us

Attending social events

Few weeks nalang, looking forward to April.

[maeslittleletters]

Facing Christmas and New Year While 21 Weeks Pregnant With You

A December 2025 Letter

Mas ramdam ko na mga sipa mo ngayon, Simeon. Sabi nila, around these times mas malakas na ang sipa ng baby sa loob ng tiyan - at talagang sumasabay ka ha. You seem to be quite competitive and obedient like mommy. While I am happy that you are growing more, I am starting to feel anxious about being pregnant - whether makakaya ko ba hanggang dulo. This is my first time after all.

As we have announced in our previous blog: 19 Weeks: Your Little Kicks and Our Family’s Big Changes, we are moving to a place near Daddy's new work in Metro Manila. As I write this blog, we have move here already.

Honestly, this decision of moving away from our hometown was something unexpected but we realized that it's time we focus on our career for you. I guess that's what life is - constantly changing and evolving. Lagi kami hinihila ng professions namin ng Daddy mo, as an Engineer and Accountant. A little bit melancholic about not being able to be a businesswoman for now, but maybe someday.

This season brought a big shift for our family. We rented a home inside a quiet village at the borders of Marikina and Cainta. It is peaceful here in a way that feels unfamiliar but comforting. The air is cooler, the nights are calm, and for now, we do not even need an aircon. It feels like the kind of place where life is allowed to slow down. Compared to our first home, this one feels lighter. Kinder.

We officially moved out of our apartment in Baay, Lingayen, Pangasinan on December 21, 2025. We rented a truck to transport everything we owned, years of building a life packed into boxes. Your dad took on the long drive, making sure everything arrived safely. I rode the bus for six hours with your Lola Serafina. The trip went smoothly, and I am thankful for that. Your dad was completely exhausted by the end of the day. As for me, being pregnant meant knowing my limits. I moved carefully, rested often, and reminded myself that slowing down is not weakness. It is care.

The night before we left, we spent a few hours with your Lolo Fred and Lola Vicky in Naguelguel. We wanted to say goodbye properly and update them about our plans. Lolo Fred shared stories from his time as a soldier, remembering Antipolo from years ago when it was known for danger and uncertainty. We gently explained that we are closer to the borders of Metro Manila now, not deep in the mountains. Listening to him made me realize how places, like people, change with time. We also visited Manaoag with your 2 lolas.

December 22 marked another milestone. It was the start of your dad’s work in Eastwood. A new routine, nanibago nga si Daddy mo sa daan- 4 lanes, vehicles are so fast. While he adjusted to work, your Lola Tina stayed with me in this house, helping arrange things and keep everything together. Her presence brought so much relief. Having someone steady beside me during this transition made the days feel less heavy. I did not have to carry everything alone.

Looking back at the whole year, it feels full in ways I am still learning how to name. Your dad and I got married. We fought for our careers and our business. We tried to be strong, capable, and brave all at once. We survived, yes, but at our age, it often felt like too much. Too many responsibilities. Too many expectations. Too little rest.

This move was not an escape. It was a choice. A decision to simplify. To start again in a quieter place. To live as engineers and accountants doing honest work, choosing stability over noise, peace over pride. We are not leaving our dreams behind. We are just carrying them more gently now.

All the lessons from this year will stay with us forever. The exhaustion taught us limits. The struggles taught us humility. The small wins taught us gratitude. And you, kicking stronger each day, remind me that every hard season had meaning.

This home in Antipolo is more than a rental. It is a pause. A breath. A beginning shaped by love, effort, and the hope that a simpler life can still be a full one.

[maeslittleletters]

Thank you, 2025.

For everything that happened. For the changes, the lessons, the blessings, and the moments that shaped us.

For becoming husband and wife. For the positive line that changed our lives. For the growth, the uncertainty, the patience, and the clarity.

Thank you for what you gave, and even for what you took away. We carry all of it with us as we move forward.

[maeslittleletters]

How We Revealed Your Gender to Our Families

Hi Simeon,

I wanted a gender reveal. Not the event kind, not the organized kind. Hindi kami into events/parties ng Daddy mo. Hindi rin kami yung magpa-program, magde-decorate, or mag-iinvite ng maraming tao. I just wanted a moment. Kahit simple lang. Kahit kami lang dalawa ng Daddy mo. I was thinking maybe a party popper na color reveal, or buying blue or pink baby clothes and letting the cashier choose, or a small gender reveal cake that we would cut quietly at home. Something light. Something easy. Something that felt like us.

But things changed during your ultrasound. I accidentally saw the result. Instead of feeling bad about it, bigla kong naisip na kung hindi na kami ang masusurprise, baka mas okay na yung pamilya na lang.

Lalo na since weeks na rin silang nagtatanong. Almost every day may “May gender na ba?” “Babae yan.” Ramdam mo yung curiousity nila. So doon pumasok yung cake idea. I messaged Cake Boss noong December 17 and asked for two mini cakes with the same design, parehong neutral. Sabi ko babalikan ko na lang once confirmed na. Nung December 18, after the ultrasound, nag-message ulit ako. This time sure na. Blue.

December 19, pinick up ni JM yung cakes. Workday yun, so hinintay ko muna si Daddy mo matapos. Bandang 6pm na kami nakaalis. Diretso kami sa Baay at si Nanay munaang unang nag-cut ng cake. Hula niya babae ka daw, based sa leeg ko at itsura ko. Natawa lang ako. Nung lumabas yung kulay, sabi niya "Mali ako..". Boy pala. Ang cute lang ng reaction niya.

After that, pumunta naman kami sa Naguelguel. Hinintay namin sila Kuya niya pero medyo late na, kaya si Papa na ang nag cut.

Hula ni Papa lalaki ka daw. Si Mama naman feeling niya babae ka. Si Tito Reymart mo sobrang sure na babae ka daw, umabot pa sa pustahan ng 200 pesos. Nung lumabas ulit yung blue, tawang-tawa kami. Talong-talo si Tito mo.

Walang bonggang setup. Walang balloons. Cake lang, mesa, pamilya, at maraming hula na mali. Pero masaya. Hindi ka na lang baby sa ultrasound. Isa ka nang apo, pamangkin, at parte ng pamilya na hinihintay na.

Ganito ka namin ipinakilala. Hindi planado, hindi perpekto, pero masaya. Simple lang, pero puno ng excitement.

[maeslittleletters]

When We Found Out You Were a Boy

Hi Baby,

I’m writing this because I know one day I will look back and remember this exact feeling. The moment we found out who you were, a little more clearly.

To be honest, Mommy and Daddy imagined having a girl at first. Not because we preferred one over the other, but because of the small thoughts that naturally formed while waiting for you. Si Daddy mo would always say na kapag girl daw, mas responsable. Mas nakakatakot sa mga kapatid. Mas may control sa bahay, based on his experience growing up. He would also joke that at least may kakampi siya, someone who would defend him kapag nag-aaway kami. Half joke, half serious, but I understood where it was coming from. I was once a daddy's girl, and it's the best feeling.

For me, wanting a girl came from a more personal place. I imagined brushing her hair, dressing her up, buying her small things. Not because I wanted something fancy, but because those were things I didn’t really get to experience growing up. I think part of me wanted to give what I quietly wished for before. So yes, there was a small hope in my heart that you might be a girl.

Then the ultrasound happened. When the screen flashed “BABY BOY,” I accidentally saw it. I remember reacting quietly. I didn’t shout or feel overly excited. I just said “okay” to myself. It wasn’t sadness or disappointment. It was more like a calm realization. A moment of acceptance.

Maybe it made sense because almost everyone who has been part of our life together has been male. Titos on both sides. Even the people we worked with in Fred’s Lechon were all men.

When Daddy found out, he smiled. Not the loud kind, but the kind you notice because it feels sincere. He looked ready. On the drive home, we were quiet for a while. Not because we were unsure, but because we were adjusting to this new reality. A father. A mother. And a son.

Somewhere along the way, I asked Daddy, “Hindi ka ba natatakot na lalaki yung anak mo? Kailangan mo maging father figure.” I don’t know why I asked that. Maybe I was thinking about how he would raise a boy. I remembered my own father and how he was to Kuya Al. I remembered how my kuya grew up with questions about himself. But even with those thoughts, I felt hopeful. Your Daddy grew up with a good example. I met his late father when he was still alive, and I liked what I saw. I like how Sammy turned out as a man. Not perfect, but grounded, respectful, and steady. That gave me reassurance.

I also started thinking about myself. About how I will be a mother to a son. I don’t fully know yet what that looks like. But it feels like the universe is giving me another boy who will love me purely. Parang kahit hindi ko hiningi, binigyan ako ni Lord ng isa pang lalaking magmamahal sa akin, especially on days when life feels heavy or uncertain. That thought stayed with me quietly, and it gave me comfort.

Now, when I think about you being a boy, it feels right. It feels complete. Maybe the happiness will grow even more when I finally see you, when I hold you, when you look like your dad, which I already know will happen.

Yes, we imagined a girl. But we didn’t lose anything. When we found out you were a boy, it felt like we gained something bigger.

Our baby boy. Our Simeon.

[maeslittleletters]

Our Fifth OB Visit – December 8, 2025 (The Ultrasound That Spilled the Gender)

Hi Baby,

You are now almost 20 weeks, or 5 months.

Ang bilis. Parang kahapon lang gumagapang pa si mommy sa first trimester, tapos ngayon, nasa kalagitnaan na tayo ng second trimester. Today is our fifth OB visit, and also the day we finally found out your gender.

We woke up at 4:30 am to prepare. Maaga talaga kasi si Daddy need mag take ng pre-employment medical tests sa Dagupan at 6am, and plan namin na right after, uuwi kami ng Lingayen for our OB check-up at 10am. The lab clinic in Dagupan opens at 6 am, so we left early to catch the first few slots. Tahimik pa yung daan. Madilim pa, at pareho kami ni daddy mo na composed and excited for the day.

Dumeretso na kami at nakarating sa lab clinic.

Your dad took everything he needed for his requirements. X-ray, physical exam, blood test, urinalysis. Busy siya sa habang ako nanonood o nakaabang lang, assisting him in whatever he might need. Nakakatawa lang kasi I think this is going to be the first corporate company na papasukan niya. Well, more formal kumbaga, unlike his previous companies na "Construction field" coded na yung mga medical tests ay usually nasa mobile car, or sometimes di na kailangan.

Sobrang bilis lang siya tinawag at dun na din siya nag-ipon ng specimens niya.

Natapos kami around 7:30am and ate breakfast at Jollibee Dagupan. We ordered tapsilog and chicken breakfast meal. As usual, naguiguilty si mommy tuwing kakain siya ng rice. But I always think that we need it for the day's energy. It's okay as long as ma buburn ko siya agad.

By this time, I messaged your Lola if Tito Reymart is already awake to ask favor na magpunta sa OB at magpa schedule for us since baka malate kami ng uwi. Then Lola said siya nalang since nasa bayan siya. Fun fact: My OB was Lola's OB when she's carrying me. Now I'm carrying you. So our OB really has a lot of experience already, you could tell cause I'm already 28 :)

After eating, we drove back to Lingayen, nakarating ng 8:30am and we went straight to OB to check our schedule. Number 7 pa kami, so nag-ikot muna kami sa Lingayen at umuwi saglit sa Baay to check the technician na naglilinis nung dalawang aircon ng apartment. We waited for a while and went back to OB at around 11am.

Pagdating namin sa OB clinic, sakto hindi masyadong puno. After a short wait, tinawag na kami.

When the ultrasound started, ayan ka na naman. Galaw dito, galaw doon. First is the dopler, the assistant was so good in finding your heartbeat! Nahihirapan ako hanapin siya myself. So her finding your heartbeat, ok na, pwede na kami umuwi, char. Then here's Doc again doing ultrasound.. "Kamusta..Magalaw na si baby?" She asked. "Yes doc" I proudly said. Your dad sitting at the side again watching the monitor as doc started the ultrasound. Then there you are. Ang laki mo na. Healthy ka. Clear lahat ng measurements mo. And everything looks good according to Dr. Portia.

She eventually asked if we want to know the gender, and we said yes but i enclose nalang muna para magka gender reveal kami. She proceeded to find the legs, pero the position is hard. “Mommy, move a little to your left para makita natin yung paa.” So I did. Then si Daddy mo, naka-smirk na agad. “Parang nakita ko na.”

Doc laughed and said, “Hindi ko masyado makita… pero hindi ako magkakamali.”

Then she said, “Okay, pinapikit ko muna kayo ha, isusulat ko dito.”

Daddy covered his eyes obediently. Mommy, on the other hand… makulit as usual. I glanced at the monitor a little, not knowing na doon pala isusulat ni doc. Tapos biglang lumabas yung words.

“BABY BOY.”

Ayun na. Tawa lahat sa clinic. Si doc, si assistant, pati si Daddy. Sabi ni Doc, “Hala tumingin si Ma'am!” then she laughed so hard. Daddy didn’t see anything though, so safe pa rin yung “surprise,” kahit nadulas na ako.

On the way home, we talked about it. I told him properly. A boy. You are a boy.

To be honest, we wanted a girl. Pero nung nakita ko yung words sa screen, nawala agad yung kung ano mang expectation. Parang tama lang. Parang ikaw talaga dapat. And I felt peace about it right away.

And Baby… we already have your name. It’s not out there yet. But soon. But it starts with S too, like your dad!

After the ultrasound, kinuha namin yung prescriptions and vitamins.

Uuwi kami tonight pagod pero ang gaan ng loob. You are healthy. You are growing fast. And now we finally know a little bit more about you.

A baby boy. Our baby boy.

Thank you for showing up today, for kicking me at the perfect moments, and for slowly letting Mommy and Daddy know who you are becoming. Stay warm inside, Baby. We’re doing our best out here.

[maeslittleletters]

19 Weeks: Your Little Kicks and Our Family’s Big Changes

Hi Baby,

I am now 19 weeks pregnant, and these past days, I have been feeling your little kicks more often than before. Minsan mahina lang. Minsan ang lakas na, para kang nagfi-flip sa loob. Nararamdaman kita madalas kapag naka-upo o nakahiga lang, pag 'di busy si mommy. It has become my favorite part of this whole pregnancy.

Thank you for letting me feel you as early as 16 weeks. At first I was guessing, but now you are confirming how strong you are growing. Every small movement reminds me that you are here with me, and it makes all my worries lighter.

At the same time, ang daming nangyayari sa buhay natin ngayon. We have news, Baby. We are moving to Manila to support your dad in his new work. Our life is shifting into something bigger.

Lingayen is where your dad and I met. Where we spent our first 4 years as boyfriend and girlfriend. And our 1st year as husband and wife. Ang haba ng journey namin dito. There is so much I want to tell you when you grow older, but for now, I just want you to know that this place will always be home. Dito kami nagkakilala, tumawa, nangarap, nag-fail, nag-try ulit, lahat nandito. Dito kami unang nagkaroon ng buhay nang magkasama.

But now, we are choosing to take care of each other and focus on you more. This change is for our family.

I am happy for your dad. I really feel that he is excelling in his career now. I can see how eager he is to support us both, and honestly, ngayon ko lang naramdaman yung ganitong determinasyon mula sa kanya. He said opportunities like this do not come often, and only a fool would let it pass. And I agree.

Dito siya pinanganak, lumaki, nag-aral, grumaduate. Most of his life, revolved here in our hometown, except for those times he stayed in Zambales and Bulacan for work in 2020 and 2024. But still, everything always came back home. His family, my family, our life. No matter where we go, this place will always be our anchor.

Dad already signed his contract. As for me, I am not working right now, but I am helping your dad fix everything. His documents, our small business, our apartment, Christmas season, and everything else that needs to be settled before we move.

We also decided to finally (temporarily) close Fred’s Lechon. Your lolo will continue the Naguelguel lechonan, but for us, we are letting it go for now. Not sad, but hopeful. Since June 6, 2023, the day of Dad and Mom's 2nd anniversary, we’ve been running that business nonstop. Every week, every month, there was something to do. Parang kinalimutan na namin na 26 years old lang kami to be that tired all the time. Maybe it is time to rest. Maybe life is opening a new door for us.

So many things happened, Baby. So many things are changing. But your little kicks remind me what all these changes are for.

You are the reason we are moving forward. You are the quiet strength in the middle of all this movement.

And as I feel you roll and flip inside me at 19 weeks, I know we are exactly where we need to be.

[maeslittleletters]

What we craved today: the Beach and Suman

Nagising nalang ako today, 5am. As usual magising lang ng konti ang ulirat ko, deretso agad sa CR dahil iihi. Ever since buntis ako, naging bestfriend ko na talaga yung toilet bowl, kulang nalang bumili talaga ako ng arinola sa dalas kong umihi. After ko umihi hindi na ako makatulog, parang buhay na buhay yung dugo ko na parang may kailangan akong gawin, at the same time gutom din ako. Ginising ko si Sammy "Deh, tara beach tayo..". Tulog na tulog pa siya dahil late na din siya natulog, pero need na din niya magprepare for work at 6am. So ginising ko na din talaga. Narinig naman niya sabi niya "Sige meh magbihis ka". habang bumalik pa siya ng konti sa tulog. Nagbihis na din ako tsaka ko siya ulit ginising.

Madilim pa. Unti unti na ko natutuwa kasi napagbigyan nanaman ako. Tinanong niya ako kung ano gusto ko kainin, sabi ko "Suman. Yung Triangle. (na may brown sugar)". "Wow alam na alam ni baby ah". Napaka specific nga naman haha.

Nagbeach na kami and nag stroll. Nakabili din si Sammy sa palengke ng Triangle na suman. Sarap na sarap ako habang kinakain 🥹

Iba talaga pag naglilihi, talagang kailangan mo muna magawa o makain yung gusto mo para sobrang saya ka. Iba nabibigay nun eh. Ang fulfilling. Parang natupad lahat ng pangarap mo ganun.

[maeslittleletters]

Growing Belly

Minsan di ko padin marealize na buntis ako. At around week 16, halatang halata na yung tiyan ko, at everytime na maglalakad kami ni Sammy papuntang 7-11 or talipapa, hindi ko padin alam kung pano mag-act. Parang normal na maglalakad, pero kung titignan siguro ako, at their POV, mukha na talaga akong buntis. Siguro sinasab na ng mga tao "ay malukon la may asawa nen Samboy". Hindi ko alam, alangan naman tanungin ko mga taong makakakita samin diba? Like "mukha na ba akong buntis?"

Pero naconfirm ko nung isang araw, yung may ari ng isang store binati kami.. "malaki na ah, ilang buwan na??" ngumiti lang ako. Si Sammy nalang sumagot "mag 5 months na", tas nagbilang.. "December, January, Feb.. March?" edi umoo nalang kami haha. Minsan talaga sila nalang din ang magcocompute kung kelan due date mo. Salamatt

Anyway, these past few days, bilog na lalo tiyan ko. Sabi ng hipag ko baka daw lalaki kasi bilog. Pag patusok, babae. Pero ewan ko, kahit naman bakla. Di ko muna iniisip yan. Gusto ko lang itawid muna yung mga check-ups at maging sure na healthy at safe itong batang itu.

CAS namin next ultrasound, baka malaman na namin yung gender ano?

[maeslittleletters]

18 Weeks Pregnant and Feeling Nothing… A Quiet Update

My Second Trimester Journey

Sometimes pregnancy becomes quiet. And when it is quiet, that is when I start to think more than usual. This is how my week feels right now.

October 31, 2025 was the day I entered my second trimester. At weeks 14 to 16, I felt that my symptoms started to fade, like the mild cramping, nausea, and hunger. I felt fuller. I did not crave foods like before. I would go days or even weeks without any cramps, and the nausea just came and went but was not consistent anymore.

At this time, I kept asking myself if I was doing my routines correctly, or if I did any physical task that might have affected the baby. Maybe the baby was suffocating, or maybe I moved too much. All the overacting thoughts came in just because I was feeling fewer symptoms. I read articles, watched TikToks, and they all said that once you enter the second trimester, you will feel better. They say the first trimester is the worst. I started to agree and hold on, especially because our November 7 check-up was normal and everything was okay and the baby was in good condition.

By November 14, when week 16 started, everything normalized even more. I was quite panicking. I started to move freely. I could do normal tasks again like cooking, sweeping, stretching a bit, and decluttering things. All the tasks that I passed to my husband in the first trimester, I could do again with energy. I could sweat again. I could prepare his lunch and do the laundry. There was a day I fixed our closet, and I ended up picking up clothes back and forth from the floor. I was careful, but I could see myself almost squatting a lot of times. After doing those things, I kept recalling whether I overdid them or not.

Luckily, I have a doppler that can monitor the heartbeat.

But this also contributed to my overthinking because sometimes I could not find it.

I am currently 18 weeks and 0 days as I write this blog. I do not feel pregnant, aside from frequently peeing and feeling tiny flutters from time to time but not always, and I am still not sure if it is the baby. I hope my baby is okay. One week left and we will go back to the doctor for our fifth ultrasound.

Maybe this is what the second trimester is meant to feel like. A little easier, a little lighter, a little more normal. I am still learning how to trust my body, how to calm my thoughts, and how to wait without worrying too much. Every week feels different, and all I can do is take things slowly and listen to what my body tells me. I hope everything is okay in there. One week left until our next check-up. I am excited to see you again, Baby.

[maeslittleletters]

Hi Baby,

Ang bilis ng araw. Almost 17weeks ka na! I started feeling you a week ago, para bang may pumipitik sa tiyan ko. Alam ko hindi gutom yun, it's new, it's you.

10pm na nandito kami ni Daddy sa baywalk, nagpapahangin at nagpapalamok. Malamig na din dito, di na kailangan magBaguio. Pero soon punta tayo.

Bumili lang kami sa Wendy's ng take out. Burger at fries nanaman kinain ng daddy mo. Ako naman walang ganang kumain.. pero syempre tumikim ako ng fries. Bawas ng carbs kasi high sugar tayo sa FBS kaninang umaga.

Uwi na kami, malamok na eh.

[maeslittleletters]

Normal blood sugar so far!! Since 12weeks to now 16weeks, I've been cutting out carbs from my meals. The first week was hard and diet barely lowers my sugar, but second week it started to improve. It seems that I accumulated my sugar from the food i ate because of my cravings in the first tri. Mommy really tried and concurred :)

[maeslittleletters]

How I'm Always Afraid of Losing Your Dad

Last night, your dad and I ended up talking about the scary what ifs. It started with a small thought, then suddenly I asked him, what if we lose you?

Just by saying it out loud, my tears came. I couldn't even imagine it.

But he answered me seriously. “Ipalibing mo muna ako… sa taas ni tatay,” he said. I asked him, “Eh paano pampalibing mo, may iiwan ka bang pera?” “Oo, mag-iipon ako,” he answered, with a straight face.

Then he said, “Kung kaya mo, balik ka sa inyo.” I told him, “Ayoko.” “Eh di dito ka lang… tapos try mo humanap ng papalit sakin. Para may kasama ka.”

How big his heart is.. In a conversation that painful, he was still thinking of me… not himself. He was thinking of my future, my safety, my life.

And that’s when I really cried. I don’t want any of that. I don’t even want to picture a world where he’s not beside me. Just thinking about losing him already makes it hard to breathe.

Love really does both. It gives you courage, but it also shakes you. And I’m still figuring out how to sit with both at the same time.

[maeslittleletters]

The Things I Asked ChatGPT About My Pregancy

My First Trimester Journey

Pregnancy changed my relationship with the world. Mornings were so slow, I was always sleepy day and night, and whenever I was awake, it was either I was overthinking or wondering if what I was doing was correct or not. ChatGPT and Google were my best friends, asking them questions left and right. I believe every pregnancy is unique, so I am not always listening to other moms. I always make sure that I research first before eating something or doing something.

Even my parents/grandparents are not aware of some of the risks from health orgs. Like at one time, they were giving me unripe papaya or making it into achara and telling me that it’s good for me. But based on research, it contains papain that can trigger contractions, so it’s not advisable to consume when pregnant. I just accept it, but I don’t eat it. Those are the moments that made me realize I needed to be careful in everything.

These are some of the questions I asked the internet:

I wouldn’t say I’m doing this perfectly, but I’m giving what I can every day. Pregnancy feels like an anxious chapter especially for first time moms like me. Everything is new. My body keeps changing, my habits are shifting, and slowly I’m learning that it’s not just me anymore. There’s a tiny life growing inside, and every choice I make feels like a quiet promise to take care of you.