I have no words regarding this situation with Heeseung. Don't know what to say or feel. I still cannot believe it, like is this real?
I-land was legit created because this man was chosen from the beginning, with the whole group formed around him, and now he's just... gone?
And because of what, him wanting to do solo? This is so bizarre, especially in K-pop, where this happens for either scandals or health problems. I am only left wondering which of these it is.
I will support him regardless, but Enhypen is going to face A LOT of issues, not only externally, but also internally.
As an Engene, you have to admit Heeseung carried the group vocally, and now it will be a BIG challenge for the boys.
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: What should have been another agonizing rut spent inside your room turns into an unprecedented change of plans as Park Sunghoon decides to save you from your haunting past.
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut, omegaverse (Alpha/Alpha dynamic), military (task force), rut, unprotected s3x, hard angst, extreme yearning and desire, choking, marking (claiming - scent glands), oral (f. receiving), fingering, various positions (missionary, cowgirl, lotus, etc.)
TW: SA! (reader has been SA'd in the past - depiction of the scene as a flashback), PTSD, s3lf-harm scars.
𝐖𝐂: 8.5k
𝐀/𝐍: Hello, it's weird to post after a year and a half, but perhaps I haven't lost my spark... Yet! :) This one was a tough one to write. I did, in fact, cry during some parts. It was very emotional and raw, so I hope you guys like it. ♡
Please leave any sort of feedback: reblogging and commenting is the best for me, so let me know!!
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It was unfortunate.
You had run out of suppressants.
Despite frantically looking through the depository, there were none in sight. You must have taken a higher dose last time. At the memory of your previous rut, you recoil. It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences you've had in a long while.
A combination of a fever, stomachache, and an unsatiated craving for release had tormented you last month for days. You barely got out of it in one piece, in the "comfort" of your room, if you could even call it that. Locking yourself inside 4 walls wasn't an enjoyable experience. On the contrary, it was an excruciating torment you put yourself through every cycle.
Why? That is information you prefer to keep to yourself. Working in the military is hard enough, but dealing with constant questioning is more difficult. For the most part, people will mind their own business as long as it doesn't affect them. However, there is one person who brings havoc: Second Lieutenant Park Sunghoon.
Others will say he is a conscientious, diligent, and highly ambitious man. You, on the other hand, think he's an excellent soldier, a better lieutenant, but a pain in the ass. On the field, you two are an immaculate pair, but outside? A disastrous match.
Constant fights and bickerings accompany the two of you, becoming the center of attention for the other young fighters. As if that isn't enough, you share the same rank. Thus, you are inherently connected through work. Every day, you have to discuss and go over various plans, failing to see eye to eye.
You laugh at the irony of it all. Of all of the days you could have run into him by accident, it had to be today. Today, you had to let Sunghoon see you quivering, barely holding onto the wall of your shared quarters. You are so close to your room, practically a few feet away from the door. But no. He has to stop you, to interrogate you, to nag you.
"What is this, are you in rut?" his nose wrinkles, the strong odour hitting his senses. It is screaming at him to back off, whereas Sunghoon looms closer.
It is rare to see you this defenseless when, under normal circumstances, you are a nuisance. Working with you has taken his patience to a new level, unlocking a secret bioweapon. He can't miss this opportunity to play with you.
"Leave me alone, you fucking piece of-" you growl in pain, trying to push yourself to run into your room until your rut subsides.
His expression softens from its usual hardened state into something different. He observes you with what almost looks like concern. "You're hurting yourself. You know that, right?"
"Why the fuck do you care? Do you enjoy seeing others in pain? Is that a guilty pleasure of yours?" you shout, transforming your pain into anger, blitzing the sizzling hot flames at him.
He tsks, shaking his head. Typical, he thinks to himself. He has gotten used to your stubborn attitude. Anyone a little acquainted with you knows about your obstinacy. Once you set out to do something, it is impossible to break your determination. At times, he admires it, but currently, he abhors it.
"Stop being a smartass for once." He barks back, although he has the time and energy to tease you until you break. His grip tightens, and he leans a little closer. "You do this shit every time, expecting it to work like the fool you are."
"I still don't see how this is any of your concern."
"Just look at yourself!" He snaps, exasperated. His gaze roams over you, taking in the state you're in: you're exhausted, you're hurting, you're barely standing, but you're still as headstrong as ever.
"It's not just your damn ego and pride that's gonna suffer. It's you."
"That's my problem, and I'll deal with it on my own. Now, fuck off!" You push him back as much as you can, even though it doesn't do much. Not only does he not move an inch, but he has the nerve to laugh right in your face.
"Oh yeah? That approach hasn't been working for the past two years, sweetheart. You can't handle it on your own." Sunghoon stands his ground, his eyes locked onto yours with indestructible determination and a pinch of frustration. "You need help, admit it."
"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?"
"Someone who's trying to knock some damn sense into your thick skull. Do you think all of this makes you look tough? No, it makes you look stupid."
"I'll fucking kill you once this is over." A wince of pain escapes you unwillingly, slouching over. A curse follows right afterward, directed at him.
"As if you could," he scoffs, his hands reflexively reaching out to catch you, "You can hardly stand on your feet, let alone throw a punch."
If you had the energy and strength you usually possessed, he would be a dead man. However, your rut is intensifying each second you are forced to waste by arguing with the dumbass before you. The intensity in your gaze is fading, replaced by desperation and hunger. The rut is taking its toll on you, but you're too stubboirn to admit it.
"Drop the damn ego, Y/N. You need help."
"Even if I did, not from you! You're useless," you spit out before thinking.
However, there is truth to your comment. Both of you are alphas, so there is no way he can help you. You require an omega, its pheromones, to calm down your burning desire and pain. It is the only way to release tension and get pleasure.
Thus, Sunghoon shouldn't have reacted strongly. Yet, he bristles at your words, seeing red.
"Useless, huh?" he steps closer, his face only a few inches away from your own. "You think I can't help you just cause I'm an alpha? You think I have no idea what to do, what you need?" He huffs, turning to look away.
"You truly are a stubborn idiot, you know that?"
"What the fuck are you going to do, huh?" You tightly grip his shirt in your palm.
"What any alpha does best." He bends down, his hot breath cascading over your skin, the scent of him filling your nostrils.
"I'm going to fix the damn problem."
With a quick and rough movement, he spins you around and pushes you face-first against the wall. He sighs as he has ultimately overpowered you, granting him the time to calm you down.
With your face pressed against the wall, Sunghoon takes a moment to observe you. He detects the subtle change in your expression, the widening of your eyes, and the tension that radiates through your body. He can feel you trembling, and it's not just from the intensity of your rut.
He freezes, analyzing your tense body language.
"Y/N-"
"Let me go, NOW!" you yell out the last word, your life depending on it. In a second, you're throwing yourself around in his grip, twisting and turning frenzily like a madman.
Sunghoon's expression shifts from stern to puzzled as soon as he witnesses your impulsive outburst. He struggles to hold you still as you thrash around in his firm grip.
Sure, alphas are aggressive during their ruts, especially when things don't go their way or someone refuses to listen to their demands. They can get antagonistic, engage in fights for dominance with other alphas, or even hurt others. However, this isn't any of those things. What you are showcasing in this instance are signs of a much bigger problem, something darker, deeper.
You are panicking.
"Hey, Hey! Calm down, for fuck's sake!" He yells, trying to get a better hold on you.
However, his words go over your head because you don't even feel his breath tickling your ear.
The only thing your brain is hyper-focused on is his hands holding your arms, forcing you to stay in this position with your face pressed against the wall. You hear the sound of clothes ripping, staring down the corridor ahead as your body involuntarily shudders at the sudden wave of coldness. Your mouth opens to let out a sound of protest, but it's as if someone put their hand on it. You feel your throat closing up.
Nothing manages to come out after that - nothing but a streak of blazing droplets of tears that have welled up in your eyes. They refuse to witness the horror happening behind them, enveloping their vision in complete darkness. In a sense, it gives you slight power because it's the only part of your body you have control over. At least, you don't have to see it happen, even though your other senses experience all of the trauma in different formats.
You stop wriggling as if accepting defeat because there is nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening. He was taller. He was stronger. He was a man... An alpha, just like you, who failed to find an Omega to mate with. So when he saw you in the conference room, all alone, writing up reports, he smirked. He had his eyes on you for a long time.
There was just one problem: you were an Alpha like him. This meant he couldn't dominate you, not unless he forced you to submit. And now, as he held you down, he had finally achieved his goal. He took that to his advantage, just like he took you, without asking, without consent, without any remorse.
Sunghoon's confusion and concern grow greater as you abruptly go limp, like your body shuts down. He studies your face, encountering a pair of vacant eyes.
"Y/N..?" He calls out your name, his grip loosening on your wrists.
Your lack of words, the tears trickling down your face - it all tells him that he has unintentionally triggered something deep within you. Something traumatic is happening to you, some dark memory resurfacing and drowning you in terror.
"Y/N, who said Alphas can't fuck other Alphas? Look at you taking me so well," he whispered in your ear, ferociously biting it afterward.
"Y/N", you call yourself an Alpha? A woman can't be an Alpha. A woman is only good for one thing: fucking. Alpha or not," his baritone voice chuckled, engraving his memory not only into your mind, but also all over your body.
"Y/N," Sunghoon's grip on your wrists loosens even more, but he doesn't fully release you. Rather, he attempts to gently shake you, hoping to bring you back to reality, but the memories of whatever hell you're reliving are keeping a tight hold on you. Every shudder, every flinch, every "please, stop" that leaves your lips makes his blood boil.
He lets go of your wrists, his hands moving to your shoulders instead. He shakes you, his voice low and tender. "Y/N, come back to me."
You feel his hands sliding lower in places you never wished to perceive. As much as you want to fight back and do unspeakable things to him, you cannot do anything but accept his repulsive touch, just like all his ruthless thrusts. His voice, calling out your name so sweetly, while his body does the opposite. You loathed your own name. Yet, he kept repeating it, over and over. That way, you'd always remember him, you'd always hear him whenever someone called out to you.
"Y/N..."
"Oh, you're so pathetic, Y/N..."
"Y/N!" He tightens his grip on your shoulders, shaking you harder. "You're here, with me, Sunghoon!"
You don't hear that. You don't see that. You don't sense that. You only feel that man's marks all over you, trying to claim you, leaving a trail of red and purple bruises. Your eyes hide behind the curtain, a vain attempt to protect you.
Sunghoon's heart aches as he realizes how deeply you are lost in your memories. Words alone may not reach you, likely in one ear and out the other. He cups your face in his hands, forcing you to face him. It is as if your eyesockets are glued to one another, your teeth clattering against each other. God, he wants to break through the veil of trauma that envelops you so badly.
"Y/N, can you feel my touch? Can you hear my voice?" He runs his thumbs over your cheekbones, his touch feather-light as he tries to ground you in the present moment.
You feel his disgusting hands traveling over your body, holding you down firmly. You flinch when they move to your face, holding you so tenderly.
Sunghoon's heart shatters as he sees you react to his touch.
"No, no..." He mumbles, his thumbs gently tracing your cheekbones, trying to drown out the memory that's haunting you.
At that moment, he realizes the horrific parallel between that monstrous man and himself: he's towering over you, holding you against the wall with his larger frame, with his larger hands - probably the same way that man did.
No wonder you are terrified.
You think he's the man from your past.
You are reliving your memory with him being the one who hurt you.
His heart drops to his stomach at the realization, and a wave of guilt pours down on him. He immediately loosens his grip.
As he does, you fall on your knees. It's as if time has stopped when his footsteps menacingly tower over you. You listen to him putting his belt back on alongside his pants before disappearing into the void with a loud bang. The quiet of the conference room wraps around you like a blanket with thorns, comforting and painful.
Your trembling hand reaches to touch your back, acquiring the sticky material. Not having the courage to bring it before your eyes, you inhale, acknowledging what has just happened. You feel cold all over again, covering your bare body with your arms.
Sunghoon stands there, his chest aching as he witnesses you collapse to the ground. Then, in that moment of silence, when he sees you tentatively touch your back, the implication of your action hits him like a ton of bricks.
His fists clench at his sides. He puts all the puzzle pieces together. And God, does he feel appalled when he views the full picture.
Every muscle in his body tenses, the anger and rage boiling inside. There's nothing he wants to do than rip apart the bastard who caused you this pain. Who violated you in the most despicable way...
You cradle yourself, body shivering from the coldness of the conference room you're still trapped in. Your eyes are blank and distant, the usual fire in them has faded, replaced by a dull void. You are ensnared in that dark memory.
Then, you hear his call: "Love..."
Love...
God, when was the last time someone called you that?
Has anyone ever called you that?
You frown as you try your hardest to understand why this word rings a bell. It is so familiar - the tone, the voice, the genuineness of it. Your body acknowledges the word, accepting the warmth and fuzziness building inside, spreading through your veins. Before you know it, goose bumps form on your skin, your heartbeat accelerating.
Love?
You lift your gaze, meeting a pair of worried orbs.
"Can you focus on my voice, love? Focus on me," he murmurs, gently reaching out to brush a loose strand of hair away from your face.
He sits down next to you on the floor, his back against the wall. With a little hesitation, he carefully takes one of your hands, placing it on his chest.
"Hear my heartbeat?"
You nod.
"Just focus on that."
You stare at his thumb, rubbing your knuckles, offering a comforting anchor to the present moment. You finally let out the breath you've been holding internally this whole time.
As for Sunghoon, his heart shatters into a million pieces as he fully apprehends the situation. Your self-isolation, locking yourself away in your room, refusing to let anyone help you, waiting for your rut to pass. The avoidance, hostility, fear... All of it is rooted in that horrifying memory you just relived.
He mentally curses at himself for not realizing sooner. He's been working by your side every day. How did he not see any signs of your declining mental health? How could he have been so foolishly blind? How could he have left you suffering for so long? God, what a piece of shit he is.
How much he regrets ever being mean to you, being unfair, being jealous when you performed better. He concedes the absurdity of his actions, his envy, his irritation. While you were fighting your demons every day, he was too occupied with nonsensical thoughts. How much of a foolish bastard he is. All these years, he has known you... And yet, when you needed help the most, he wasn't there. No one was. You were all alone, inflicting yourself with excruciating pain.
He continues cursing at himself as he sits beside you, his hand instinctively reaching to brush away a stray lock of hair from your sweaty forehead. It is another sign of your rut intensifying: increased temperature, dampness of your skin, your body tensing and squirming.
What a fucking timing... It's almost too cruel.
He considers the options before him. Leaving you all alone in this state wouldn't be a reasonable choice, as you would opt to do what you know best: lock yourself away, suffer through your rut alone and in pain.
At the same time, you are currently in a vulnerable state, both physically and emotionally. It's not just the rut that's affecting you—it's the memories, the trauma, the fear... Staying by your side could trigger another anguish.
There's not much to be done when an alpha is in rut. Mating... That is usually the only option that works, as they need to let out their sexual frustration.
Biologically, an alpha needs to mate with an omega as they have the necessary pheromones to help the alpha calm down and ease their pain.
In other words, he was truly useless, just like you have stated before. He was an alpha, just like you. According to nature, it was impossible to help you.
He knows this; he knows how it works, how the biology of alphas and omegas is supposed to go.
He knows that he's an alpha, you're an alpha, and that's supposed to make things impossible.
And yet, here he is, watching you struggle through your rut, and all he can think about is how he wants to help, how he wants to ease your pain, to give you the comfort you need...
Here he is, coming to terms with another cruel reality. He's beginning to realize the truth he's meticulously avoided acknowledging for all these months — the true depth of his feelings for you. He's been ignoring them, convincing himself that they were just platonic... He's not only feeling the overwhelming need to help you anymore.
No, it's deeper than that. These are not some form of alpha instincts. These are not simple orders to claim and mark. No... It is, in fact, the most excruciating and wonderful feeling he's ever felt in his life. All of these sentiments, all directed towards you, an alpha whom he should be incompatible with. Yet, he's never wanted anyone more in his life...
Screw biology. Screw compatibility. He's willing to throw away all reason, all logic, all the rules, to help you... He's so damn tired of running from the truth, tired of pretending he doesn't crave your touch, that he doesn't want to be the one to soothe your pain. He wants to protect you, take care of you, help you... He wants to make sure you're happy.
That last thought breaks his restraint. He punches through the wall, watching the plaster falling from it, gradually breaking down. To hell with the rules, to hell with the consequences, to hell with biology, to hell with anything that stands in his way of making you feel better, of being the one to ease your pain...
"Y/N," he says softly, gently coaxing your gaze back to him.
"Let me take you to your room. We can't stay here on the floor, love." He scoops you up into his arms, holding you securely against his chest, your head nestled against his shoulder.
Within moments, he reaches the door to your room, skillfully opening it with one hand. Once inside, he carefully places you down on the bed, the soft mattress enveloping your weary body.
Sunghoon sees the desperation in your eyes, the fear in your expression, and he knows what you want to say. He knows you're about to tell him to leave, to get away because you are losing control.
"I am not going anywhere. Not this time," he whispers, eyes locking on yours with a resolute gaze.
"I'm staying right here. With you."
"Sunghoon, you... There is nothing you can do," you whisper, biting back a growl. As much as you try to keep it at bay, your dominant side is slowly coming to the surface.
"You're an alpha, just like me..."
"I don't bloody care what I am," he responds firmly, holding his ground.
"I care about you."
The ends of your brows furrow upwards, creating lines on your forehead. He has emitted such simple 4 words, but it hits you somewhere deep down. Despite your best efforts, his words have struck a chord somewhere, where you promised yourself not to let anyone in. They have stripped off a layer of your shell, showcasing a tiny drop of vulnerability you never display...
"Let me help you, love."
"Sunghoon..." you whisper, groaning at how easily his name rolls off your tongue, how... right it feels.
He leans closer, his eyes never leaving yours, his hands cradling your burning cheeks. "Let me take care of you."
You shake your head, clenching your hands into fists.
"Why? Why are you so... So adamant about helping me?"
You are prepared to retort to his foolish remarks, but you halt the minute he grabs your hands, prying your clenched fists open and holding them in his own.
"It's killing me to see you in so much pain," He continues, leaning closer, his voice low and firm, "because all I want is to ease it."
Nothing could have prepared you to hear that proclamation, especially in such a dire situation. His name, voiced as a growl, echoes through the room. In seconds, he's being pushed onto the bed, his shirt being ripped apart. Your eyes lock onto his collarbone, the same way your teeth do seconds later.
Sunghoon barely has the time to register the feral, possessive look in your eyes, the primal desire in your gaze. He is aware of what you're about to do. And he's not stopping you.
After all, it is a natural reaction. All Alphas bite into an omega's scent gland to mark them as their partner. Thus, your effort at marking him doesn't surprise or intimidate him. On the contrary, his breath hitches at the sharp pain mingled with pleasure. His grip on you tightens, thoughts in utter disarray.
He begins to detect a change in the air, a subtle shift in the aroma, the smell... It's intoxicating, unknown, and yet, inexplicably familiar... A blend of scents, an inconceivable outcome.
He takes a deep, shaky breath, his mind struggling to wrap itself around this unprecedented situation. It shouldn't be happening. It can't be happening. An alpha marking another alpha... It is simply impossible. And yet... Here you are, biting into his collarbone, marking him, claiming him.
The fire that ignites inside him is rapidly coursing through his veins, his suppressed instincts unexpectedly awakening. The heat you are emanating is agonizing, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he finds himself holding onto you more, his hands roaming over your back, anchoring himself to you. This level of primal need frightens him; the burning desire that goes far beyond anything he's ever known.
He pulls you closer, flipping you over. Sunghoon stares at you with the same hunger you do, no longer denying the effects you are having on him. He doesn't understand how any of this is possible, but he's been marked by you, an alpha. Nothing makes sense anymore. Nothing but you and his feelings for you that are intensifying the longer he stares into your orbs. He loses himself in them, allowing them to hold his hand and drag him into the well of desire, passion, and ardour.
He grabs your wrist, peppering it with kisses before biting into it with the same hunger you did minutes ago.
You gasp, your eyes fluttering shut. A faint whimper escapes your lips when you realize he's mimicking your actions: he is also biting into your scent gland, he's also marking you, claiming you...
A pairing transpires before you: an inexplicable, indestructible, and indisputable pairing. A pairing that defies all odds of nature and science. A primal connection of two souls, both evolving into a glorious bond. A connection that is as unavoidable as it is unexplainable.
Both of you stare at each other through half-lidded eyelids, drowning in each other's drunk-dazed gazes. With dilated pupils, both of you are completely spellbound by the sight of the other. The heat between your pressed bodies grows. The room is filled with the sounds of your breaths mingling, your heartbeats synchronizing. It's almost as if there's nothing else in the world except the two of you.
"Sunghoon..." you whisper, no longer restraining the irresistible pull between you two. It is too powerful to ignore, to deny. Your lips merge with his like two opposite poles of a magnet attracting each other.
Without delay, his lips crash against yours, the contact sending sparks through every part. He kisses you with an intense passion, the taste of you like a drug he can't get enough of. He clings to you, his hand desperately searching for yours as if he fears you might vanish if he lets go.
You groan in satisfaction when you kiss him, pouring all of your pent-up desire and emotions into it. You don't care about the consequences anymore. There is only one thought roaming rent-free in your brain: him, his lips, his touch, his body, his soul.
He responds to your intensity with equal measure, ignoring everything else. He pulls away for one reason: to focus his attention on your jawline, on your neck, on the sensitive spot there. He smirks as you shiver and growl, grabbing his hair. It was inevitable that it would happen at some point.
An alpha never submits. They only dominate...
A loud thud is heard within the upcoming seconds. Sunghoon finds himself on the floor, with your weight pinning him down, your thighs on either side of his hips.
With one look at you, he sees the defiance and reluctance in your eyes. Your past is visibly lingering behind them, imposing unnecessary doubts and distrust. In spite of acting confident and in charge, he catches onto your fears. His heart sinks at the realization of your thoughts.
"Do you truly believe I'd hurt you like that?" The inquiry rings through your ears. Your prejudice has significantly hurt him.
You cannot bring yourself to say anything because he has read your thoughts. Whatever you say will be a lie in his mind. You frown, losing your bearings. He cannot see through you. He cannot have such power over you. Not when he has seen you this weak.
Without thinking, you wrap your hands around his neck to silence him. It's not enough to make him gasp for air. It's more of a warning, a silent threat. Yet, there is no sign of fear on his sharp features. Somehow, he does not feel threatened. Instead, the gesture manages to ignite a fire within him.
"Go on then. Squeeze," he tightens his grip on your hips, pulling you closer, his body responding to the challenge. As you start to squeeze, there's an obvious strain, but he doesn't budge, not a single flinch or gasp escaping his lips.
"Is that all you've got?" he challenges, a smirk dancing at the corner of his lips. "I thought you'd be stronger than that."
He's deliberately trying to push your buttons by being cocky like he always does, and it is certainly working. Your fingers instantly dig into his skin, adding pressure.
For the first time, a slight groan escapes him. It is evident that he can hardly breathe, his windpipe on the verge of being crushed. His face is turning red, and yet, he isn't backing down. He refuses to give in, to admit defeat.
"Getting tired, love?" he gasps out, the strain in his voice clear. "I can do this all day. Can you?"
"Damn it, just shut up!" you snarl, your voice ragged with anger.
He's struggling now, his chest heaving, his face reddening. He's on the verge of passing out, but he's still defiant, still refusing to submit. "Not...a chance," he gasps out.
You curse out, clashing your lips onto his, your hand still around his neck. His eyes widen momentarily, but he responds immediately. Despite the lack of oxygen, he kisses you with bruising force. The sound of his hoarse, breathless voice, the feeling of him struggling to speak.
"You're mine. Say it," you growl against his lips, the words almost a command, a claim.
He gasps, his head spinning, his vision starting to blur. Despite his impulses screaming at him to quarrel with you, take you right here, right now, he doesn't listen. He can barely speak, let alone breathe, but he manages to utter the words you crave in a gasp mixed with a growl.
"Yours..." he manages to force out, his hands gripping you tighter. "I'm yours. All yours."
He sucks in a deep breath, his chest heaving as you ultimately let go of his neck, the sudden rush of oxygen making him dizzy. He looks up at you with heavy-lidded eyes, his mind still swimming in a daze of pleasure and pain.
"All yours," he repeats, his voice barely above a rasp.
You blow a fuse, grabbing his jaw, pulling him into a sloppy, angry mess of a kiss. It is almost antagonistic, with you clashing your lips against one another for dominance. You catch his lower lip between your teeth, gently tugging on it to see his reaction. He drags you closer, returning the messy, desperate kiss with identical zeal.
You are fuming inside, his whole existence erupting volcanoes inside you. The reason for your unsatiated wrath is incomprehensible. He lies beneath you, accepting everything you are doing. It doesn't matter if you try to kill him. He will still lie there, boring into your soul with his beautiful eyes.
Perhaps that is the cause of your rage: his undeniable devotion to you. That, or the fact that he's able to see past your fury, straight into the very depths of your fragile soul.
The room is filled with the sounds of labored breathing, ragged gasps, and the rustle of textiles. Clothes are scattered across the floor, discarded in a hurried, passionate frenzy, the path leading to the bed strewn with a trail of fabric and discarded garments. The air is heavy with anticipation and desire.
His gaze meets yours, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of the tears in your eyes, the raw emotion in your expression. An unspoken understanding passes between you, almost as if he can read your thoughts.
He captures your lips in a kiss that is full of passion and unyielding tenderness. His hand cradles the back of your head, fingers tangling in your silky hair.
You whimper when his fingers proceed to run up and down your spine. The small gesture causes you to arch your back, driving him to come face-to-face with your petite breasts. At such a divine sight, Sunghoon is unable to hold himself back. In one instance, his mouth is glued to them. He latches on and lavishes them with attention, his tongue and lips adoring them with fervor.
Your tears trace down to your chest, mixing with his saliva that coats your nipples. His touch reveals just how sensitive you are, shivering and squirming in his lap. Muffled sobs quickly turn into soft whimpers, finding yourself slowly grinding down onto his growing arousal.
Sunghoon bites onto your teats to keep quiet, his hand leisurely cruising down, his palm surfing your waist, your stomach, your hips, every damn curve he can detect. He's teasing you, his fingers tracing the inside of your thigh like a whisper.
Automatically, you spread your legs, granting him access to your accumulated dampness. His index swirls around the heat and wetness, dipping the tip of it inside. He growls at how eagerly your walls welcome him. Your face, contoured in pleasure, only amplifies his lunacy.
"Can you take another?" he murmurs, his voice thick with need, his finger pushing deeper.
You frantically nod, and soon after, he's adding another finger, stretching you open. The whole time, he's observing you like a hawk. He swallows your gasp, smirking as he ravages your reactions. His tongue clashes with yours, slowly working you up.
"So fucking beautiful... God," he whispers into your mouth, relishing your slurred pleas and moans. Watching you squirm and wriggle in his lap, moving yourself on his fingers, does something to him. You are a sight to behold, and Sunghoon is utterly mesmerized.
He gets on his knees, in between your legs, with his two fingers buried deep inside you. The magnificent view, mixed with the scent of your arousal, puts a definite spell on him. He admires the blossoming flower you lay bare before, flicking his tongue over the bud. Your exquisite flavor pulls him in like a moth to a flame, savoring every drop.
You can't tell if he's trying to pleasure you or himself with his ardent enthusiasm, feasting like a starved man. Regardless, you are incapable of complaining when your whole body is convulsing in delight. It is almost a fight to keep yourself in line because his tongue speaks a sacred language.
He grabs your hand that reaches for the sheets, harshly intertwining it with his. When you dare to look down, you meet the image of The Fallen Angel by Cabanel. His glare sends a shiver down your spine, swooning under it.
"Eyes on me. Only me, understand?" He growls into your core, sending vibrations to your toes.
"Fucking... Tease..." You gasp out, smothering him in your thighs.
He doesn't protest, skillfully twirling his tongue across your sensitive flesh. His lips glistening with your fluids, but he isn't satiated. He's sucking and nibbling on your bud, smirking when you arch your back in ecstasy. His fingers participate in bringing you closer to the edge, putting in work.
All this time, his gaze remains fixed on you, refusing to look away for a single second. The intensity in them is so intense that you burn in it. Suddenly, you are aching for more, for something only he can provide...
He doesn't object when you straddle him, patiently waiting for you to sink onto his burning length. He has to witness every second of your reaction as you do and inscribe it into his memory.
You grant him his wish, accommodating him with your warm tightness, your moan cosplaying as a welcome gift. Your hands hold onto his shoulders for some form of stability as you struggle to adjust to his size, to the feeling of having him inside.
It's been two years since you had been intimate. Ever since that incident... Well, you haven't done anything. It was physically and mentally unattainable for you. You either froze up on the spot or ended up running away with whomever you attempted some kind of skinship. Quite frankly, it was noteworthy that you have gotten this far with Sunghoon.
"Y/N.." He murmurs in your ear, "If it's too much, just say the word. I'll stop."
"Don't talk..." You pant out, dodging his concern. It's not what you want. It's not what you need right now. You have to focus... You have to focus, or the memories will crawl out from underneath you.
Sunghoon, though, knows you too well. He can read you like an open book, no matter how hard you try to renounce it. Only a fool wouldn't notice the way you avoid his gaze, the way you tense up in his arms...
"Y/N, don't-"
"Just shut up." You place your hand on his mouth and fully sink onto him in one move. He growls at your harsh gesture, the sound muffled by your hand, his body tensing beneath you.
He hates this, hates how you're using him as a distraction, hates how you are torturing yourself with the past, the memory of that incident replaying. That man. The way he forced himself onto you. He hates how you are trying to numb it out by reclaiming power.
He cannot allow this. He cannot let you hurt yourself.
He sits up, his hands gluing onto your back as he gently caresses it. He looks into your eyes. He kisses your cheek, the corner of your lips, and your chin before tenderly kissing your lips. He pulls back after a moment, his forehead resting against yours.
"Where are you right now?" he whispers hoarsely.
His raw words successfully pull you out of the fog of your memory. For a moment, you are acutely aware of his presence. His body is pressed against yours, his concern evident. You remain quiet, the gears turning in your head.
"I told you to leave me... Right at the start."
His heart twists at your words, a mixture of irritation and hurt flashing across his face.
"And I told you I wouldn't. That I would stay by your side."
He pulls you closer, his hands roaming over your back in a soothing pattern. His lips pamper your face with soft kisses, trying to soothe you, to bring you back to the here and now. He wants to erase the memory that's haunting you. All he can do is offer his silent support, his presence, and his touch.
You whimper, your hand holding onto his arm. He looks into your eyes and he can see the turmoil, the pain, the fatigue, the defeat. However, he recognizes a different emotion, something new... Affection. Perhaps, even love...
His heart flutters at the possibility, hopelessly leaping onto it. He runs his hand between your legs. He wants to soothe you. Not just your rut, but the voices in your head. From the looks of it, it appears to be working. Your weak sighs are like a lullaby, lulling him to your beauty.
During this, he has slipped out, but he doesn't care. He takes this time to rub himself against your core slowly instead. Edging you with the frictions, he strives to soothe and arouse at the same time. He knows what you need, and he's going to give it to you, even if it takes all night long.
His head lowers to witness your most intimate parts fondling one another, the friction almost driving the two of you insane. It's a mesmerizing and torturous view. Watching your wetness coating his growing redness. God... It is taking all of his self-control to hold back from advancing.
"You're so beautiful, Y/N..." He diverts his growing lust by nuzzling into the crook of your neck, his lips pressing against your pulse point.
Your head falls back as whimpers slip out of you with ease, nails digging into his arms for support. The compliment, the pet name, paired with the agonizing rubbing - all of it is driving you crazy. You nibble on his neck to silence your own moans, to contain yourself. It is getting more challenging by the minute.
"Let me hear you, please, let me hear you," he implores, his stare even more beseeching. "No one can hear us."
Shamelessly, you start to grind down as well, moving in sync with his movements. You wrap your arms around his neck, your breath right against his ear.
It is a deadly combination for Sunghoon to bear, his hands guiding your hips back and forth. He is resolute on giving you his all, willing to sacrifice everything and everyone, just to satisfy your deepest desires.
"That's it, love... Take what you need from me."
"Sunghoon, I... I'm-"
"Me too, darling," he grunts, his movements growing more urgent to push you to that edge. "Come for me, let me feel you fall apart in my lap."
When you listen like the good girl you are, Sunghoon cannot think straight. He watches your body convulse in pleasure, and eyes roll back. He bucks his hips forward a few times to draw out every last bit, grinning at how your body spasms from the oversensitivity.
He stands up, dragging your body to the edge of the bed. He positions himself, spreading your legs and placing them on his shoulders.
The silence is dense with desire, the air charged with tension. There is nothing to say. No need. Your eyes communicate with one another on a different level. No words are required to define the intense ardor seething between you.
His feverish tip rubs against your wetness, his precum smearing into it.
"You want this big cock buried inside of you? Filling you up till you can't think of anything?" his breathless questions tickle your ear, goosebumps forming all over your body.
"Look at this beautiful pussy. So warm and welcoming. I could just slide in right here, right now, and you wouldn't stop me, would you?" He teases your entrance, his words a taunt and a promise, all at once.
It should probably disturb you, urge you to run away. Yet, you shake your head almost instantly.
"Look how it slides in... Completely on its own..." He moves his hips forward in a slow motion, watching his length gradually disappear between your folds.
"It's moving on its own..." He whispers, backing up his claim with deep and slow thrusts. To add more depth to his statement, he places his hands behind his back. His hips are the sole tormenting engine. He pushes all the way before pulling out, repeating the same emotion.
He holds your hands and pins them on the bed beside you, intertwining your fingers as he lavishes your lips. And with one push, he's filling up the void inside, leaving you gasping for air.
"Sunghoon!" You cry out at the sudden fullness, your body arching up to meet his. He uses this to suck on your breasts, pulling on your sensitive nipples.
"Hold me..." Your voice breaks, tears resurfacing at his gentle handling and soft, tender words. All of it is overwhelming, leaving you craving more.
And he does. He sits on the edge of the bed, his hands wrapping around your waist as if he's trying to crush you in his embrace. He buries his face in your chest, pounding into you with lifelong yearning. Every deep thrust pushes out a breathless moan out of you, erasing all of the negative thoughts from your brain.
You don't know how long you two make love like this, but it's not enough. Not for your rut-induced body. Not for your broken soul.
He turns you onto your side, positioning you against him, his body pressed against your back. You are too spaced out to register the position change, losing count of how many different versions you both tried out. Somehow, it is still not enough. Your body is no longer the only part of you craving him. Now, it is also your soul that is desperately yearning for him.
"Let me give you more," he breathes into your ear.
You whimper as you feel him sliding in again.
"You're doing so well," he rumbles, his voice sending pulses through you. "Taking me so perfectly. So damn good for me." He takes his time, so careful with his movements, it is almost unbelievable how sweet this stoic man you know is.
"I won't let anyone hurt you again. I promise you." He whispers into your nape, cupping your breasts. They perfectly fit in his hands, relishing the kneading, fondling, and delicate pinching.
"I'll keep you safe, Y/N. I'll make you happy..." He groans in pleasure, wrapping his arms around your waist. The slow, aggravating motion of gliding in and out of your walls is making him see stars.
"Sunghoon, oh, Sunghoon-" you struggle to breathe, eyes rolling back to your skull. Your hands cling to his, carving your nails into his skin. It is the least you can do when he has fully imprinted into your heart.
"I want to take care of you, cherish you, protect you..." He tightens his hold on you when your body trembles, a wordless promise to never let you go.
The intimacy in his words and touch is like a balm to your damaged spirit, alleviating the pain and fear that have haunted you for so long. The way he makes love to you is unlike anything you've ever experienced, your heart feeling like it's going to burst with emotion.
"Sunghoon... I, I lo-"
He silences your words with a torrid kiss, his frustration and pent-up craving bubbling inside. God, he can read it in your glossy eyes, he can feel it in the way you hold onto him. It scares him. It scares him because he cannot imagine getting more attached to you than he already is. He is physically incapable of meeting your gaze, not when he's buried deep inside you. If he does, he will reveal his true feelings too.
"Don't say it," he rasps out, his voice hoarse. "Don't say it unless... unless you really mean it." It's a demand disguised as a silent plea, a frantic need for you to reciprocate the feelings he's trying so hard to hide.
You shake your head, burying it into his neck as you finish what you started.
"I love you..." Tears of pure bliss and longing cradle you in a sweet embrace.
The words cause him to stop for a moment, trying to catch his breath from their intensity.
He bends you down on the bed, biting your back all the way from your buttocks to your nape. He has lost all sense of control, not thinking straight with your deadly scent running through his blood. He harshly pins your hands beside you, holding onto them as he reconnects your bodies. His chest presses into your back, his tongue running along your ear.
Your confession has undone him, and he's practically choking on your existence.
"Tell me you're mine. Mine to take care of, mine to love, mine to make love with," he growls, his teeth grazing your skin, marking you as his own.
"Yours... All yours," your vow is muffled against the mattress.
You're drowning in a pool of sensations, rawness, and longing of this moment. The world outside vanishes, substituted by the growing adoration and fondness between you two. You can't think straight, your mind thoroughly blank. The only sensible phrases are frantic pleas for more.
"Just let go, sweetheart. Let go for me," his command sends a jolt of pleasure through your body, your cries of pleasure mixed with his groans driving you both closer to that sweet release. His fingers intertwine with yours as he takes you, giving you everything you've ever wished for.
"Together," you beg.
"Always," the soft reassurance resonates within the room, tipping you over the edge. His own release follows, exploding his pent-up passion in your warmth. The bliss inside you bursts into a storm of sparks, your whimpers drowning out everything else. He holds you close, his arms around you like a lifeline, breathing ragged and harsh.
"That's it, sweetheart," he murmurs into your hair, plopping himself on the bed and pulling you close to his chest.
You hold one another, riding out the surges of euphoria that are absorbing you. For a few seconds, the world seems to stop, time standing still as you savor this moment of fulfillment.
"I've got you, I've got you, shhh," he traces his fingers over your battle scars, tenderly caressing the old wounds.
He recognizes some, uncovering the others for the first time. He identifies the self-inflicted ones, but he doesn't comment on them. Now isn't the time to discuss those. He shifts his attention to kissing those lines, pampering your arms in his adoration.
For a moment, you simply lay there, eyes closed, as your heart beats in your ears. You don't remember the last time you let someone caress your scars, if ever. The meticulous commitment that Sunghoon shows to each one leaves you breathless. You turn around to face him, truly looking into his eyes without your facade for the first time that night. There is no trace of it, only the remnants of the activities you two have been indulging in for the past hour.
"Did you mean what you said back then?" you lift your head from his chest.
He looks down at you, stripped off to nothing but raw vulnerability. When he meets your gaze, there's no hesitation, no doubt.
"Every goddamn word," he replies, his voice a gravelly rasp. "I meant every single one."
It feels surreal, almost too good to be true. However, before you allow your skepticism to resurface, he speaks.
"I'm all yours, love. And I'll be yours as long as you want."
Your eyes widen. The person you are at each other's throat with is lying next to you, caressing your worst parts while devoting himself to you.
"Even after... After you saw-"
He lays a finger on your lips.
"I want all of you, Y/N. Body and soul. Scars and all," he traces a path along one of the jagged lines on your arm.
"They are a part of you. A testament to your resilience. Those are the parts of you that make you who you are. They're a part of your story, just like mine. And I want all of it. The same way I want you."
"Then you'll have me..." you whisper as you nuzzle into him.
He pulls you even closer, although it is practically impossible, his arms wrapping around you even more. Your hair tickles his nose, which causes him to inhale your familiar scent. The simple thought of knowing he will be waking up to it every day has him feeling all giddy inside.
"Good," he smiles, kissing your forehead.
"Because you've already got all of me, sweetheart."
im such a hopeless romantic... so in my head hee is an absolute gentleman, he would wait like a year after you started dating to do anything sexual and and i feel like the first time with him would be so so so intimate and intense, eye contact praises hands and mouth everywhere, he would be very much like service dom boyfriend that would do everything to please you..
i don't know if this is good enough to be a request but if you want write something out of it that would be amazing if not that's cool too, just wanted to share since i also hate the smut that is going around rn xo
For sure, urgh. He'd prioritize your pleasure, going to extra lengths just to satisfy you. He'd continuously check in to see if you're still onboard while praising you, complimenting your body, and trying his hardest to hold back and not give in to his needs. You'd make him lose his mind with your soft whimpers and innocent look.
"Never done this before, have you? I could tell. You're shaking like a leaf. Sensitive too... It's too easy to rile you up, sweetheart."
"You look so beautiful when you're shy, all flushed and squirming when I've barely laid a finger on you. Is it my voice that turns you on so much, darling? Do you like hearing it right up in your ear while my hands run up and down these magnificent thighs?"
"I could listen to you whimpering my name like a mantra all day, with my head buried between these gorgeous legs. Squeeze them together, yeah, just like that. Make yourself feel good on my tongue, use me to make yourself come. Don't get shy on me now, princess. Ride my tongue and grind on my face. I'm not leaving until you've coated my face in your cum."
"See how quickly a finger just slid in? Feels nice, doesn't it? Just pushing in and out, curling to hit that sweet spot and draw out your beautiful moans. Fuck... Just like that, what a good girl. Do you have any idea how hard my cock is right now? It's practically aching in my boxers, leaking, all thanks to you."
"Jesus... You're so tight, it's not fair. And you're taking me so well too. You're fucking incredible, you know that? So sweet, so beautiful, so warm inside. I could stay in this beautiful pussy forever. Simply pushing my cock deeply in and out... Does it feel good, baby? Hm? Yea? That's it... Just focus on me and enjoy it... Let me make you feel good... Yea... Good girl... My good girl..."
I'm like an 04 Liner and I find it weird af that people are writing smut for Ni-ki because like most of the people writing smut about him are like older than him. And it's creepy because most of the people who are writing about him that way were literally legal adults when he was still a minor. Like wtf. I've been complaining about it since people have been writing smut for him but not many people would listen so I would delete my posts about it because for some reason I was the one getting hate not wanting to write or read Ni-ki smut. -🦊
Yk I actually think it's people either his age or even younger (minors consume smut, I wouldn't be surprised if they were writing). If there are authors who are older than him... that's diddy jail time 💀
hey girly, I’m just genuinely curious, and I’m not trying to come off as aggressive or hating but I’m just trying to understand and I hope it’s okay!
as a 06 engene I’m quite close to Niki in age so in a way I don’t really see an issue about reading his smut and like I’m quite confused because like I have a few older engene friends that told me that people have been writing for hyung line since they debuted so I don’t really understand the hating of Niki fics
And niki has been an adult for quite some time (in my country at least! ) so I don’t really see an issue and I totally understand that when you think about from a older writers perspective it’s quite gross but I reckon that there’s also many engene’s that are around Niki and my age so I think that’s okay?
Also I totally understand that people have different opinions and perspective and I just wanted to understand your thought process! Hope it’s chill :)
Try to put yourself in his shoes. Would you be comfortable if your fans sexualized you before you even reached 18? Would you feel comfortable if your fans started posting filthy fics about you right after you turn 18?
My main issue is that he was 14 years old at the beginning of ENHYPEN. He's been constantly sexualized, especially during the FEVER era. I have a younger brother and this just gives me the ick.
The same happened to Justin Bieber. He was just a teenager and he was getting mobbed by thousands of girls his age. If we switched the genders, we'd have a teenage girl being swarmed by boys. Society would find that weird and disgusting, but since it's a boy/man, it's fine?
Same happened with Jungkook (13) and Taemin (14). Jungkook has always been the most sexualized in BTS and Taemin was by the whole industry. Watch some interviews, it's disturbing.
I totally agree with you about seeing ni-ki smut like it feels so weird like they had some good writers that used to only write fluff for him but now it's just mostly smut now
It's just disgusting. They didn't even let year or two pass before engaging in this shit. Sick
your niki post is so real 😭💀 i used to be on enhablr in like 23 or smth and i remember everyone would declare war if there was like one niki smut. i then deleted my acc and came back this year and was shocked to see niki smut and no war like we're fine with this now??? 😭😭 i get he's almost 20 but he's like around my age and that feels so weird...
That is the main reason why debuting minors is a big NO in my book. These are literal children. When they suddenly turn 18, they're not an adult. Like you cannot make me understand this mindset. The minute someone turns 18, we can sexualize them? It's giving pedophilia... If this was a female idol, everyone would go crazy but when it's a guy, it's cool? Tf is wrong with this fandom.
I agree w u sm. I've been a reader since 2023 and not only are the smuts repetetive I also hate how everything includes smut now. Like, sometimes I just want to read a really good angst fic but I always see smut flooding all the enha tags. Like, what are the tags for then if I can't find a fic I want to read? I have to scroll for hours just to find a good fic to read.
that's why I put my docs solely in the smut category even though I write angst 99% of the time.
Repetitive, you hit the nail on the head. That's exactly how I feel too. Just the same overused tropes and drama. Like where is the originality?
ohh my gosh i wanna go back to like 2022 when writing was actually good
You know, I think it's the fact that many good writers stopped for good or left to write in ao3. Lately, I've been thinking about the same. Perhaps ao3 is better, but I dunno 🤷🏻♀️
hello! i'm @readingmochi's writing blog. i totally relate to what you said in the comment of your post and i have also read some of you anon asks and i agree with them. i genuinely felt like i'm the only one that has been thinking about this so i'm glad to find that there are still some people who think about this as well
long live substantial smut in enhypen fanfiction ;)
hihi!^^
don't worry, you're not. I just think people either stop giving a shit or don't have the guts to talk about it out loud. This generation has grown too soft in some regards, especially kpop stans, but good to know there are some hidden gems out there!
i agree i miss when the sex meant something, that it was ( IS ) more than just bodies but also ur souls being in it... :((
I personally refer to that as making love, not sex.
Sex for me is without emotions, simply doing it for release and pleasure. However, when you're connecting with that other person through your souls, that isn't just sex anymore.
Making love with/to someone is such a beautiful experience that none of these smut writers manage to depict in their stories. Perhaps because they haven't experienced it themselves. 🤷🏻♀️
